Drž Se, Miláčku
by Almedha
Summary: [ENGLISH] A what-if story around the mysterious recipient of Zelenka's Letter from Pegasus. His fifteen-year-old daughter has been trying to get in touch for almost half a year now. (More slice-of-life than anything but expect some angst, dramatics, humor, romance, and adventure. Very little plot, and very, very long.)
1. Packing

**_Specs:_**

 ** _Summary:_** _Radek sent a letter to Earth during_ Letters from Pegasus _, but he never returns to visit. In this Stargate: Atlantis AU, he got a letter back._

 ** _ ** _Genre:_**_** _ _Family/Drama. Including science-team appropriate romance, friendship, angst, and adventure for good measure-even though the story is primarily just a drama.__ _  
_ ** _POVs:_** _Radek and OC. Rodney crops up situationally.  
_ ** _Updates:_** _Every Friday, probably forever. Not really. But this is a loooong story. I'll give notice when moving/schoolwork/life interferes.  
_ ** _Rating:_** _T to be safe. A few vulgarities_ _(because, you know, Zelenka) (I really do limit him on that, though)_ _. Science-team appropriate action and violence… for when people get randomly zapped or *cough* stabbed._

 ** _Pacing_ _:_** _Relaxed and completely unhurried (this is the fanfiction I write when my life spins out of control, okay? I like to have a little corner of my world where things go on as normal without_ too _much angst)_ _... mostly consisting of cute little slice-of-life stories. Bits of excitement I introduce are concluded eventually, but often not for a month or more of posting. In short, this story doesn't treat either chapters or episodes as hard stopping points for arcs. And it's slow._

 _ **Pairings:** mild Weir/Zelenka. I do give mush alerts. You know. For when it gets mushy.  
_

 _The usual: I don't own them. I only profit enjoyment from writing and when lovely readers like you leave comments for me_ _. I use dialog from the episodes for context or if something important happens, though that becomes less as time goes on._

 _Even though there are similar family stories surrounding characters more integral to Atlantis, I had to do this one to answer the question I'm sure all Zelenka-fans ask: Who is he talking to in_ Letters from Pegasus _? My answer to that question got... **a little out of hand**. This is a very long story. I'm not splitting it into parts because, though arcs exist through an episode or a season, the whole thing is really one story. So, yeah, this is a long haul._

 _OCs in fanfiction aren't my shtick, but hopefully it turns out okay. This story runs alongside and intertwines with the series because Radek takes a more-or-less active role in a lot of the episodes where Rodney gets to shine. But it should all come out in the wash._

 _Note: I am not Czech. Any Czech is courtesy of Google Translate, or, such as in the title, a line from_ Stargate: Atlantis _. At which point, I suppose, you can take up any arguments of bad grammar with someone not me. ;) For real, though, **corrections are loved.** (On that note, thanks to AivriZaive for pointing the_ ž _.) I put translations at the bottom of chapters in which it applies._

 _Other than that, if it's in quotes and entirely italicized, the characters are speaking in Czech. If it's not in quotes and italicized, the character is thinking. If it's in quotes and not italicized, it's English... unless otherwise specified?_

* * *

 **Chapter 1. Packing.**

"Drž se, miláčku." *

The recording clicked. Radek removed the disc and put it into its sleeve. Not bad for last words. Wouldn't change it now, even a few weeks later. Almost everything was ready to go. The room just as he found it—had it been a year since it was empty like this? Somewhere around there. He had the feeling when he went through the Stargate on the way here that it wouldn't last.

He just didn't think it would be so short.

The alarm on the door sounded, nearly scaring him out of his skin. He waved a hand in front of the control as he walked by. A few books still sat on the desk. Couldn't leave those behind.

"Okay, so, I've left a—whoa." McKay took a step into the room, looked up, then stumbled back out. "I knew you didn't have a bit of decorating sense, but… Wait. Are you packing?"

"Yes."

It was only a matter of time before someone came along to have this conversation. On the other hand, McKay was probably too distracted and self-absorbed. Still, better to have it sooner rather than later. Preferably with McKay than anyone else. He was the one least likely to care, to make a big deal of it. Might even bid him good riddance.

"I didn't know you were going back to Earth with us…" McKay looked down at his tablet and seemed to rethink everything on it.

"Neither did I," Radek mumbled.

"Hm." Rodney tapped into his tablet and then tucked it under his arm. "That's okay, I'll leave it with… um, Kavanagh? I'll have to see who's staying." He walked around the room.

Radek watched out of the corner of his eye. McKay got quieter as he realized that every single thing was gone from the walls. Not a book on the shelves. Not a sheet on the bed.

McKay spun toward Radek, eyeing his suitcase. "Who you seeing?"

"Hm?" Radek asked.

"Back on Earth. Most—I mean, some people are going to see family or—"

"I don't know yet," Radek answered. That was a lie.

In a metaphorical sense it was true. He didn't know the person he was meeting. She was a stranger. What would happen after he stepped through the Stargate back to Earth was anyone's guess. Except his. He ran out of guesses hours ago.

"Then what are you going back for?"

Radek sighed. "The _Daedalus_ brought messages from Earth. Did you have one?"

"No," McKay said.

Radek nodded. Of course, McKay wouldn't have any messages, urgent or otherwise. He didn't think that his cat dying counted as urgent. "Yes. Well, my ex-wife—"

"Wait a second." McKay held his hands up. "Ex-wife? You were married?"

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Radek asked. He was pretty sure everyone else on Atlantis was of the same opinion. For whatever reason. He tried not to think of it too much. It didn't matter what they thought.

"Well," McKay pondered, "aside from the fact you have all the social skills of a woodchuck."

"Yeah, and you're so good with people."

It was hard to even think her name. Ex-wife was the last thing in the world he ever wanted to call her. But he decided that it was unfair. He let her go. He could bury himself in his work easy enough. If only he'd known how easily. Work that would bring him to another galaxy.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," Radek went on when it was clear McKay didn't have anything else to say. Yet. "She died four months ago."

"Oh, god." It was the first time he'd heard McKay sound sincerely apologetic. "Radek, I'm sorry."

He waved the apology away and avoided his eyes. Didn't know they were on a first name basis. Didn't know McKay actually knew his first name. "These things happen. It doesn't matter." He wanted to believe that, and maybe he would someday. Then again, maybe not. Not the way things were about to go. "My sister has been taking care of my daughter because—"

"Wait, wait."

Radek paused and rolled his eyes. He felt a severe headache coming on. "You know what, Rodney, I have to pack." He shouldn't have to explain himself. Didn't want to imply it was a mistake—because his family was not a mistake. He was young then and—well, he couldn't explain it in words McKay would understand. McKay didn't know what love was.

"So you're going to see her," McKay said. He paused. "So what's with the…" His voice trailed off as he gestured around the empty room.

Radek looked. He'd miss this view, the sparkling city at night. The ocean peeking out between one spire and another. In the afternoon, the sun glinted off the stained glass in the central tower, putting bars of light edged in pink and purple on his wall for almost two minutes.

To think he'd almost thought of this place as home. To think he'd almost thought of McKay as something other than insufferable. To think he almost died here and yet couldn't think of anywhere he'd rather be. He didn't want it to end like this.

Who was he kidding? He didn't want it to end. Never mind, like this.

"I don't think I'll be coming back." He'd been offered a position at a university in Brno before the assurance of his place on the Atlantis expedition. More recently, the SGC guaranteed a position studying and adapting alien weaponry. It wasn't what he wanted, but it would have to be close enough. "At least I'll be able to pay for college for her."

"Pay for college? After just this year?" McKay looked a little hurt. "Are they paying you more than me?"

Radek sincerely doubted that, but grinned anyway. "I don't know. Hazard pay is incredible."

"Hazard pay." McKay scoffed. "I'm the one going through the Stargate."

"I don't think she was planning on going to… MIT."

"Well, you never know. She is your—" McKay cut himself off and cleared his throat. He looked around, probably for something else to say.

Radek laughed. "Were you about to compliment my genes?"

"Of course, not," McKay sputtered. "I'm just saying, if she's halfway intelligent she might… have bigger goals."

Radek knew she was intelligent. She was ahead in all her courses, but that was according to correspondence well over a year old. His sister wrote that she knew conversational German, and learned some English in the past year because she knew he worked in the USA. He didn't know what she wanted to do with her life, but she was his daughter. Of course, she was intelligent.

"But, look." McKay interrupted any further thought on the subject. "You can't leave."

"I haven't signed the second year's commitment," Radek said. "I don't have to stay."

"I don't mean you 'can't leave' as in there will be legal repercussions," McKay mumbled.

Radek sensed McKay's ego quivering with how intolerably close he came to paying him a legitimate compliment. Radek supposed he might as well save him the torture. "Thank you for the concern," he said. "But I have to take care of my family."

"Right, family…" McKay mumbled. "Well, I guess we'll have a little over a month to change your mind on that."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* "Take care, darling." Thank you, Stargate Atlantis episode transcripts.


	2. Impossible

**Chapter 2. Impossible.**

Half-way there. Too bad the last half was always the hardest. It was certainly true for Rodney. He'd gotten Weir's okay on it. Now he needed to pull some strings at the Air Force and Washington.

Oh, yeah. He'd need Zelenka's okay, too. So a little less than halfway.

Better get that before he started calling in too many favors.

What was he doing…? Rodney didn't need anyone. After all, difficult a few seconds, impossible a few minutes. But he would hate to have to deal with _all_ the difficults and the impossibles, too. That's what Zelenka was good for. The difficults. Seconds were precious when faced with an impossible.

Besides, sometimes his inane chatting led to something useful. Lightning, for example.

 _Give it a rest. It's not like anyone is listening to your thoughts_. He sighed and looked at the ceiling. _The honest truth, okay?_

Truth was, Zelenka was the only one he could put up with for extended periods of time. He was smart enough to get by and generally quiet. And, as much as he loathed to admit it, Zelenka was the only one who would put up with him for an equal length of time.

Science didn't happen in a vacuum. That was the point.

Well. Maybe it did, but his lab wasn't a vacuum. So he needed a sounding board for ideas. Lots of geniuses had one, right?

Lots of geniuses were easier to deal with. Besides, it wasn't as if Rodney had many options for confidants at an intellectual level anywhere near his own. Because his intellectual level was high. It was lonely at the top. This explained why he was chasing this stupid idea. Zelenka was several tiers below his intellectual level, but proximity, in this case, mattered.

Three days zipped by since they all stepped through the 'gate from the Pegasus galaxy. The concrete confines of the SGC were becoming suffocating, maybe since Rodney had nowhere to go. Some people went straight home to visit family, others stayed on base. Despite close quarters, Rodney hadn't so much as spoken a word to Zelenka. He just hadn't had the time and, well, he didn't have anything to add to their initial conversation. Now Rodney did.

It was going to be possible for Zelenka's daughter to join them on Atlantis, given Zelenka's permission. It would take some string-pulling and favor-calling from Rodney, but nothing too serious. Given that Rodney had helped save the planet once, he was confident he could get the job done.

Zelenka seemed to have taken the day to sit in the mess hall with a bowl of Jell-O. The SGC was renowned for their Jell-O, but Rodney shuddered at Zelenka's choice. Lemon flavored. Rodney slid past the other chairs and took a seat across the table from Zelenka. He didn't realize how long he must have been looking at the Jell-O.

Radek leaned low over his Jell-O and looked up at his face over the rims of his little glasses. "Did you need something, McKay?" Looked ridiculous.

Then again, Rodney was the one staring at Jell-O.

"No. Well." Why was he here again? Oh, yeah, the honest truth. "Yes."

Zelenka traced Rodney's line of sight to his Jell-O and back. "It wasn't the Jell-O." He tipped the bowl toward him and looked inside. "Citric acid is a primary ingredient."

"How astute."

They were quiet. What was he going to say?

"Then what?"

"So." Rodney listened to his voice drop off like a bad comm channel. "How are—I mean, how you holding up?" It took all of his willpower to not grimace at the forced attempt at small talk.

"Oh." Zelenka didn't answer, and scooped up some Jell-O instead. "It was about the Jell-O."

"Give me a break," Rodney mumbled. "I'm not very good at this."

Radek chuckled. He was so nonchalant.

Rodney guessed he would be spinning his figurative wheels to figure out how to stay on the Atlantis expedition. Of course, he'd never be in this position in the first place. He'd never been married. He was infrequently romantically attached, and usually to dumb blondes. He had serious reservations about most of them ever contributing to the gene pool. He'd never be okay with a little McKay running around, anyway.

Maybe. If he didn't think about it too long, the idea of mini-McKay almost appealed to him.

"So, you're really not bothered by leaving Atlantis?"

Zelenka frowned, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "No. Of course, I'm bothered."

"So you're just going to give up." Rodney snapped his fingers. "Like that?"

"What do you want me to do?" He didn't sound angry. That was surprising.

Even Rodney had to admit his nose was where it didn't belong this time. After all, this was Zelenka's personal life and had nothing to do with him. Not to mention Rodney had zero experience where wives (dead or alive, ex- or not) and daughters were concerned. Which meant that Rodney had a lot of nerve, suggesting his contemplations.

"I don't have many options," Zelenka continued. "In fact… I think I have only one."

Rodney sighed. No reason to be obtuse. "You have one other option. Bring her to Pegasus with you." Even as the words came out of his mouth, they sounded insane. He wouldn't wish the Pegasus galaxy on a dog he liked. He wouldn't wish Pegasus on a dog he hated, and he didn't even like dogs all that much to begin with.

All the same, he wouldn't leave it for the world.

Zelenka must have had similar thoughts. "Bring my daughter to Atlantis—are you crazy?" He was whispering. Why was he whispering? "Aside from the logistical nightmare, you cannot think taking a child to another galaxy is a good idea. Another galaxy where the principal life forms suck the life out of you with their palms."

"I didn't say it was a good idea," Rodney mumbled. But it was an idea, and those were in short supply. As per the usual. Besides, Rodney had—not that he thought of it much—the same qualms about raising children on Earth. Plus additional qualms. He'd make an even worse father than Zelenka, wouldn't he? "But what's the difference?"

"What's the difference?" Zelenka laughed in disbelief. "Do you hear yourself?"

"In Pegasus, you have the Wraith. Maybe the Genii on a really bad day," Rodney reasoned. "On Earth, you have the Goa'uld. The Replicators. Oh, and any other country on Earth that happens to hate the one you're in." Rodney waited for a response. He knew he was right. He always was. Well, almost always.

"Maybe I will move to Canada," Zelenka pondered sarcastically.

"Are you kidding?"

He had to be kidding. Zelenka blew all the air out of his lungs and stabbed his Jell-O. "What, then?" he asked, his tone one of exasperation.

"You want to stay on Atlantis, don't you?" Rodney asked. To him, the choice was clear.

"What I want—it does not matter."

He was saying that a lot lately. And, honestly, it was probably true for him. But Rodney was used to getting what he wanted. And, in this case, that mattered. "I'll take that as a yes."

Zelenka narrowed his eyes, but Rodney could never think of him as anything remotely threatening. "Even if I wanted to return to Atlantis, even if I thought it was a good idea to take her away from the only planet she knows… she would have to learn English, obtain security clearance, gain a significant grasp of the situation…"

He could have gone on, but Rodney interrupted. He'd already thought of all this, and these weren't huge hurtles. "And?"

"And?" Zelenka shook his head. "No, it would be impossible."

Rodney laughed. "Radek," he chided, "I'm Doctor Rodney McKay. Difficult takes a few seconds, impossible, a few minutes."


	3. Practice

_A/N: In which there is the gratuitous appearance of my favorite SG-1 character._

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

* * *

 **Chapter 3. Practice.**

It had only been a week since stepping through the 'gate. The SGC was vaguely familiar, if only because he'd lived and worked here for two weeks before setting off on the expedition. He hadn't left the base the first time, talked to almost no one. His English was very bad. He was familiar with the view from the entrance to the complex—he didn't travel much (on Earth, anyway) outside of Europe and had never seen a proper desert before coming here. Antarctica, for some reason, didn't count.

He suspected he'd be seeing a lot more this time around.

Because he would be staying. Either here or at Area 51, but he hoped to heaven that they wouldn't want him there. His knowledge and skills probably wouldn't have direct application anywhere else. More than likely, the Air Force would keep him employed. He got the impression that they didn't want him to go home when he didn't sign on for the next year.

Home. What was he talking about? Where was home? He'd get back on the _Daedalus_ in a heartbeat if he thought he could.

McKay's behavior still baffled him, though. He knew he wasn't McKay's equal. Of course, he'd never say that to his face—or anywhere else, for that matter—but he was closer than anyone else. Probably much closer. He had to admit, though, he was replaceable.

Except he did put up with McKay. That was something special. Only a few of them did that on a regular basis.

He dropped his bag on the bed and looked at the cement walls. The potted plastic plant and a pair of wall sconces were the only half-hearted attempts at decoration. This was no Atlantis. This was no place to live.

He'd need a place to live. What were houses like in Colorado Springs? What did they cost?

He had all of two days to figure it out.

Less than that to figure out how to get to Denver airport.

He was going to miss his puddle jumpers…

" _What are you doing; what are you thinking?_ " He wasn't ready for this. Radek ran his fingers through his hair and cursed the ceiling, though he wasn't sure what it'd done to him. This must be what a bird in a cage feels like.

He was ashamed as soon as the thought dawned on him.

This was what he wanted. It was; it really was. It was just a lot.

He needed a drink.

He was already out the door before he realized he would have to go off-base for that. Maybe he should just settle for whatever at the mess hall. He would need a driver's license—people in Colorado drove all the time. It was an American pastime. Wasn't it?

" _What are you doing?_ "

If anyone was bothered by the mumbling Czech wandering the halls of the base, they didn't show it. He wasn't going anywhere, so he wasn't really lost. Just walking. Avoiding thinking about the thing that was actually bothering him.

" _It's not Atlantis_ ," he told himself. " _It's not living here._ "

His daughter. It didn't seem right, "his daughter." " _You don't know anything about teenagers_."

He would figure it out.

"Are you talking to yourself or an earpiece?"

"Promiňte." Radek spun around and corrected himself, "Sorry." He tried to figure out who he was talking to.

"Don't apologize." The stranger frowned and looked at him critically. "I guess you're talking to yourself, then. I should have guessed; I don't know anyone else on base who speaks Czech."

"Just thinking out loud," he said.

He took the offered handshake as the stranger introduced himself as Doctor Daniel Jackson. Of course, Doctor Daniel Jackson—he recognized him now that he knew his name.

"Doctor Radek Zelenka."

"Right. From the Atlantis expedition," Daniel said.

"Yes."

"Are you lost?" Daniel asked. He looked down the hallway in both directions.

Radek didn't know of anything in either direction that would be of interest to anyone but an engineer. "No." Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. "Taking a walk. On the way to the mess hall."

He laughed. "You know that's…" He paused to point in the opposite direction. "That way?"

"I was taking the scenic route?"

He seemed to find that funny, too. Then, to Radek's surprise, he said, " _May I come along?_ " Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised. Doctor Jackson was the SGC's resident linguist. He just seriously doubted Czech was in his repertoire.

" _Not bad_ ," Radek said.

" _I haven't practiced in ages_." Daniel looked embarrassed.

" _Ah_." He could tell, but didn't want to be rude. " _Modern languages aren't exactly your forte._ "

Daniel nodded. " _It's true_."

As strange as it was, Czech sounded just as odd on Radek's tongue sometimes. " _It's a little rusty with me, too._ " All the English. It contaminated his ability to speak properly.

Daniel led the way down the hall toward the mess. " _How is Atlantis?_ "

Radek laughed. It was a difficult question, but he guessed no more difficult than asking Daniel the same thing about the SGC. Another day, another world to save. " _Stressful_."

" _I am jealous, though_."

Who wouldn't be? Radek just grinned.

" _How long are you staying?_ "

Now, there was a complicated question. Of course, the _Daedalus_ would head back. Radek wouldn't be on it. He opted for the easier answer. " _The_ Daedalus _goes back in a month, I think_."

His sideways answer wasn't lost on Daniel, apparently. He raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything further about it." _I've run out of conversation._ "

Radek suggested small talk about the weather. He hadn't been outside, but it was winter and he would have to go out in two days. It was snowing, apparently, but the snow would be gone and the sun would be shining the next day. It was apparently the way weather worked in Colorado Springs. Radek commented about the balmy, monotonous weather of Atlantis.

They went on from there. They sat in the mess hall, eating and talking, mostly about nothing. Radek was sure he'd added a bit to Daniel's vocabulary and certainly improved his pronunciation before Daniel excused himself.

Radek watched him leave, then contemplated his empty plate. As diverting as that was, there was still real life to consider. Real life that no longer seemed quite real.

It was getting less real by the minute. A tray filled with food slid onto the table across from him. An orange envelope that might have been holding fifty pages slapped down next to his arm.

Radek reigned in his tongue from swearing.

"Enjoy your little chat?" McKay asked.

"Yes." But he was quickly losing interest in this one.

McKay didn't seem to know what to do with that. "Well, remember that thing you said was impossible?" He tapped the envelope. "All the paper work, including security clearance. Everything's done. Well. Almost everything. She still…"

"Are we having this conversation again?"

"You expected me to drop it?"

"I expected you to lose interest." Radek sighed.

"So what's wrong?" McKay asked.

It took all of his willpower to keep from laughing. It wasn't funny. But it was. And he couldn't articulate it. Not in English. He could barely articulate it in Czech. Never mind that he would be using words McKay wouldn't comprehend on a subject he barely understood.

"What's wrong."

"Yeah," McKay smacked past a mouthful of chicken alfredo.

"What am I doing, Rodney?"

McKay shut his mouth and stared.

"I don't know who she is anymore. I remember her—she was this big." He motioned with his hand next to the table around the size of the seven-year-old in his memory. "She's fifteen." But he wasn't winning any absentee-father-of-the-year awards with his stellar communication skills. Not to mention he'd sort of… left the galaxy. He rested his head in his hands. "I let time get away from me."

"That's, um… that's significant." Then McKay shook his head. "But, look, kids—they adapt."

Radek didn't know what happened, but his hands slammed on the table.

"Her mother is dead."

McKay gulped, said nothing. It was for the best. He looked like he'd been slapped straight across the face.

Radek had run out of things to say. Things appropriate for mixed company. He put his forehead decidedly on his crossed arms and sighed. He'd faced death on several occasions now. Explored far reaches of a city haunted with engineered viruses and monsters of darkness.

How scary could a fifteen-year-old girl possibly be?

He'd rather face a Wraith.

Maybe. He'd never actually faced one too closely. Then again, he'd never faced his fifteen-year-old daughter, whom he hadn't seen in eight years. He tapped his fingers on the table while he counted. Maybe less than eight years. He didn't remember anymore… which wasn't a good sign in itself.

He looked up. McKay looked concerned, his mouth still full.

"Do you know where the Denver Airport is?" Radek asked.

McKay nodded, gulped his mouthful of alfredo. "Yeah, about an hour and a half north of here. Can't miss it."

"Would you go with me to pick her up?"

McKay looked around the table, behind him, back to Radek. "Me?"

Yes. Bad idea. "No, no, no, no. Never mind."

"No." Rodney pointed at him with his fork and grinned. "You said it. You need me to take you to the airport."

Three hours in a car with Doctor Rodney McKay. He was going to regret this.


	4. Signal

**Chapter 4. Signal.**

Rodney could hear his heart hammering from the opposite side of the vehicle. They had been in the car for about forty-five minutes now. Rodney figured that couldn't be healthy. Radek was going to kill himself before they even saw south Denver.

Rodney carefully maneuvered into the next lane to pass a lumbering semi-truck. The pine forest that edged either side of the road since northern Colorado Springs quite suddenly gave way to open fields, hills, and rocky plateaus. It snowed two days ago, but the drifts left in the shadows of the hills were the only evidence. The roads were clear and the sky was a cloudless pale blue. If there was such a thing, it was the perfect day to drive.

"Do you ever signal?" Radek asked just as they crossed the county line.

Rodney took his eyes off the road for the briefest of moments to look at him. "Excuse me?"

Officially no-man's land, at least to Rodney's view. A little two lane road crossed the interstate over their heads and the way ahead was clear of civilization. The farmhouses dotting the mountainous pastures didn't count. If Rodney hit anything, it would have to be because he was trying to.

Radek held his hands up, apparently regretting his question. "Sorry."

"It's been a few years since I've driven anything other than Puddle Jumpers and golf carts," Rodney said. But that was more than Radek had ever driven in this country. "At least I have my license."

"I already apologized," Radek said.

He paused long enough for Rodney to shift uncomfortably. Why did he think that getting off base would be a good thing? Why did he agree to run Radek to the airport? Even worse, to run him and mini-Zelenka back…

"Golf carts?" Radek ventured a moment later.

"To get around Area 51," Rodney mumbled. "Huge warehouses. Easier than walking."

Radek nodded. "That explains a lot."

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?" Rodney glanced at him again.

This time Radek was smiling. "Nothing. Nothing."

"All right," Rodney said. He tried not to sound too patronizing… but, then again, maybe that was exactly what Zelenka needed. "This must be nerve-wracking. So whatever you meant, I forgive you."

Radek laughed. He actually laughed. "Right, thank you."

"You're welcome," Rodney muttered. There must something else for them to talk about.

There was nothing of interest between here and Castle Rock. Just hills, cliffs, rocks, and scrub oak trees. The assorted campsite, farm houses, horses, and cows broke up the monotony in their own backwoods bumpkin way. Radek was watching out the window like he'd never seen a mountain before.

Rodney didn't know what the Czech Republic looked like. Flown over it. Well, probably. Rodney's grasp of geography was deplorable, but he figured his guess was close enough. Moscow might be close in temperature and terrain, right? On the other hand, Russian winters were said to have won wars. The Czech Republic didn't seem to have any snow and wind fighting in its favor.

 _Think of something, think of something_. A tiny little burg called Larkspur flew by. Rodney drove through it once on a whim when he was bored on a Saturday night after an emergency consultation with Stargate Command. It was literally one road. There was a grand total of a gas station, church, park, liquor store, and a fire station. It was too far to live here and work at the base, but it was off the beaten path. Rodney could see someone owning a pond and a cabin up here, getting away for the weekend.

Owning a cabin. Right. Houses. People lived in houses. He could talk about that. "So how's the apartment?"

"I don't know." Zelenka just shrugged. "Nice?"

There was some reservation. Rodney distinctly heard Zelenka say the apartment was _not_ Atlantis. The apartment might have been nice—though he doubted it. It was temporary housing for Zelenka until he found something better, something of his own. It was hard to get a suitable place in two days. Even if the living situation was okay, Rodney knew he'd never be satisfied with work again.

He was practically begging Rodney to get him out of this, wasn't he?

"All right," Rodney sighed. "Enough of this."

"Enough of what?"

"You're coming back to Atlantis," Rodney said. "You wouldn't find any other work as interesting, right? Where else could you—"

"Get continuous verbal abuse?" Zelenka interrupted. "And no respect?"

"I know it's going to be different when you have a child around," Rodney agreed.

Zelenka cast a glance sideways at him. "Less different than you might expect."

Rodney considered what he was trying to say. What was he trying to do? After all, did he really care whether Zelenka stayed on Earth or with the Atlantis expedition? He didn't answer that, but the point was—even if Rodney didn't need Zelenka, Atlantis did. "I can't be everywhere at once."

"Excuse me?"

"What if someday something terrible happens on Atlantis? What if, god forbid, I'm trapped in a room and I can't fix the problem? Who do you think is going to fix it? Kavanagh?"

They both scoffed in unison.

Radek spoke up. "When would you ever be trapped in a room without your computer?"

"I don't know," Rodney mumbled. "But it could happen."

Radek looked at him. His grin was almost more than Rodney could bear, so self-satisfied and smug. "You're saying you want me to stay on Atlantis because I'm a reasonable McKay-replacement?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far…" Rodney pondered what he thought Radek was. Then it came to him. He grinned with pride. "Discount-McKay. You're Discount-McKay."

"I feel more respected already…"

"Just think about it," Rodney pleaded.

Radek said nothing. That wasn't a good sign. In fact, they rode in silence all the way up to Castle Rock until the road widened just south of Denver. Or maybe he was thinking about it. Castle Rock was gray and dusty, especially coming from Atlantis. The most prominent hill going north was devoid of foliage and the entire town was just a composite of pale tan, gray, and white. Why on Earth would he not want to go back to Atlantis?

Right. Family. Even Rodney thought it was important sometimes. But it was a little difficult to pick up where one left off. Or maybe it wasn't. There was a lot of water under his family's bridges. He was sure he couldn't just drop in on Jeannie unexpectedly.

Just before the last bend in the road before Denver, a thought dawned on Rodney. "Wait." He looked at Radek sideways just as Denver's skyscrapers came into view. "What's her name?"

Radek chuckled. "You probably wouldn't remember it anyway."


	5. Anna

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

* * *

 **Chapter 5. Anna.**

Her cousin was a small devil.

Not that the last four months had been hell.

No. They had. The only thing Anna could hope for now was that things wouldn't get worse. Since an incredible tail-wind had put the plane in Denver twenty minutes early, she had plenty of time to imagine how badly it could go now that she was here.

Anna put her violin case at her feet and glanced around. Her blazer was too thin for the snow outside, though the air was surprisingly not-cold. That was the best she could do to avoid thinking of this situation? The weather? She must have been desperate. The image of Radek from the video he'd sent her was still fresh in her mind.

She called him Radek, like her mother did. She hoped that would be okay...

He looked just like she remembered. A little older. But he'd written letters and sent gifts over the years. Always three paragraphs. The first one, without fail, was about the weather.

This letter was different.

It was a video recording, but he never mentioned the weather. He talked about his job and how exciting it was. He wished he could visit more, wanted to see her and where she went to school. He wanted to see her play in the youth orchestra. He missed her. He loved her. " _Take care, darling_."

At the time, it seemed her worst fears confirmed. Only a dying man said things like that.

But, no. Less than a month after his video recording, another message came through. He was fine. He was living in the US. Since he'd finally received word about her mother, he wanted her to come live with him. He would pick her up at Denver International Airport, giving her all of a week to pack.

She barely remembered him in person. Her mother didn't want him around, but still complimented him when Anna was in earshot. She had his eyes.

She absently kicked the violin case, started when it knocked over. She gathered it into her arms and hugged it close. Her heart pounded. She tried to ignore it, running her fingers over the edge of the case.

She'd wanted to get rid of the violin before leaving home. Her aunt made her keep it. She didn't hate music, of course. Not by a long-shot. She loved listening more than playing, picking out small patterns in the bigger picture. Her mother said she was like Radek like that. She called it a beautiful sort of intelligence.

She took after them both in interests and abilities, though probably not to either extent. But her mother encouraged her toward the orchestra in an effort to get her some friends.

She tried not to think of it. Not of her. Life could change so much in so short a time. The only thing she had anymore was her violin.

Her aunt was right. She was glad she kept it.

Wait. Was that him? She slid to the edge of her seat, finding her suitcase handle with one hand. Khaki jacket. Scruffy hair. Small round glasses. He glanced around, hands in pockets.

Anna slowly stood. He hadn't seen her. Or he didn't recognize her. She didn't send many pictures... didn't write many letters...

He spun slowly, looking at every face. He paused on hers. She must have looked very different. "Malá?" * Perhaps not so different.

She smiled slightly. He was exactly like she remembered. Nice to know some things never changed.

He looked embarrassed to have called her by the name he'd used so long ago, a name that clearly no longer quite fit. She picked up her violin and her suitcase and carefully crossed the floor, meeting him halfway.

" _I suppose you aren't so little anymore_ ," he said when they stood only a few feet apart.

It was the most awkward moment of her life to date. Neither of them knew what to do. They were closely related—father and daughter even. She adored him once, worshiped him. Should she hug him? Did she want to give the impression that she was just fine with this arrangement? Just fine with the fact that he hadn't been there for years, for the most important time in her life?

She didn't, even though she ached to. She couldn't ignore his absence.

" _Are you—how was your flight?_ " he asked.

She shrugged in answer. Then again, she'd promised herself on the way here that she'd give him a chance before passing judgement for eight years of missed birthdays. " _Not bad,_ " she said finally. " _A little turbulence landing in Washington D.C._ "

" _I was working,_ " he answered. " _I'm sorry—I would have brought you here sooner if I'd known._ "

They were interrupted from any further conversation that might have happened when a man standing nearby cleared his throat.

Radek looked at him. "Oh, Rodney," he said, like he'd just remembered. He looked back at her. " _He only speaks English. This is Doctor Rodney McKay, a colleague_. _You go by Anna these days?_ "

He paused for her answer and she just nodded. Anna. Sometimes her mother called her Aneta, but no one else did. And then, there was Radek. He called her _Little_ or _darling_ when he called her anything… but that was years ago.

"Rodney," he said, "my daughter, Anna Zelenková." **

"Anna," he said, and glared at him. "Lovely name." Doctor McKay looked back at her and offered his hand for a handshake. "Nice to meet you."

She smiled. "Nice to meet you, too, Doctor McKay."

He looked back at Radek. "She speaks better English than you do."

She smiled a little. She'd practiced with tapes on the plane ride, trying to get her greetings just right. Beyond that, her words were heavily accented and she knew it. They didn't sound anything like the babbling of a native speaker. She understood a great deal of English, but only if it was spoken slowly. It seemed like Doctor McKay was the kind to speak very fast.

"Is this everything?" Radek looked to the single suitcase and violin case.

Anna nodded. " _We got rid of almost everything after…_ " Her breath caught in her throat. She shook her head. " _I didn't want to keep much_."

" _Here_." Before she could object, Radek snatched the violin case from her and handed it to Doctor McKay. Then he took her suitcase. " _We'll get you more things once you're settled at… at home_."

She didn't miss the jump in his voice. Like he didn't know what to call it for a split second. She nodded and put her hands in her blazer pockets all the same. Maybe it was hesitation on her behalf. She wasn't sure it was going to be home, either.

"Shall we?" Doctor McKay stood to one side and gesturing grandly toward the doors out. She found herself sandwiched between the two, Radek leading the way to the car and Doctor McKay bringing up the rear.

It was warmer outside than it looked. Certainly warmer than the temperature reading negative two degrees Celcius. It felt like the snow should be melting, but the air was deceptively cold. Without a breeze, it felt like her blazer was plenty warm enough.

A vast parking lot sat lower than the airport's buildings, and beyond that mountains were just barely visible with snow on their caps. They looked camouflaged among the puffy white clouds. Except for the crisp cool air and the warm sun on her skin, she might have thought it was a dream.

"It's a long drive," Doctor McKay said as he slid into the front seat. He slammed the door.

Radek leaned on the roof of the car, looking at her with concern. " _Are you alright_?"

She nodded. She would be.

He looked at the mountains behind him, then back at her. " _It's an hour and a half back_ ," he said. " _Should get going._ "

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* malá = little or small. (My thanks to zcvoknout for the gender correction!) I guess the reason I picked this over another cute nickname is because my own dad called me Little.

** From what I understand, there is a distinction between male and female surnames in Czech. I believe I have used the correct one for Anna, but, as per usual, any corrections are highly desired.

* * *

 _A/N: The moment we've been waiting for? I hope she meets approval. I've developed her a bit as time goes on, but I hope you'll be understanding of her sort of standoffish ways for the time being. I'd like to hear what you think of her anyway. :)_


	6. Fight for It

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

* * *

 **Chapter 6. Fight for It.**

The apartment was large compared to his single room on Atlantis, but he hadn't needed a kitchen. Hadn't even needed more than one room. The furnishings were surprisingly nice, especially compared with the small room on base. He looked around and tried not to give away that he'd only seen it once before now. He only barely remembered the layout. It was enough to not get lost.

But he was lost. Exceptionally and irreparably lost. As much as he tried to remind himself on the car ride here, he couldn't quite believe that he knew this girl. He remembered her putting flowers and ladybug clips in her hair, not stripes of bleach. That little girl in memory held only a distant similarity to this teenager. Since when did time start going so fast, going on without him?

Yet, she was somewhat familiar, too. She had her mother's brown hair, except for the single patch of yellow-blond tucked behind her ear. She must have inherited is nearsightedness, judging by the glasses. She was shorter, like he was, and she didn't seem to talk a lot. That was also like him.

Poor girl.

Anna walked into the main room and set her violin case down. She took off her jacket and laid it over the plushy couch. It looked lightly used.

" _You live here?_ " she asked.

Radek took his eyes off her and looked around at the room before them. " _This is home_." It was actually unbelievable now that he thought about it. It was unbelievable Radek would have an eye for aesthetics, from pictures to random filigree in the shape of... no identifiable shape. It was slightly less believable that he'd actually spend any time decorating it. " _I actually don't spend a lot of time here. It was more convenient to live on base._ "

She walked around and touched the picture frames on the walls. Pictures of the Rocky Mountains. One of a spiral galaxy… that looked almost real. A picture of one of his pigeons on an end table—probably taken from his tablet. Or, rather, the tablet he used to use. He picked the frame. _Damn, they're good._

" _It's nice_ ," she said. She noticed the picture in his hand and smiled sadly. " _Aunt Emílie still has the pigeons._ "

He waved that away. It was the last thing in the world he was concerned about at the moment. There were so many things he wanted to say. Explain. She wouldn't have understood as an eight-year-old. He didn't understand as a thirty-year-old. Maybe he didn't even understand now, years later.

But he couldn't just launch into a tirade so soon. Her mother was probably the last thing she wanted to talk about.

Radek rounded the couch and sat. Pretty comfortable. He might have picked it if he'd actually chosen any of the furniture in here. He wasn't sure about the picture of violets next to the window. He watched her explore the room.

" _I'm sorry I wasn't there,_ " he said quietly. " _I wanted to be_." And he was dying to ask what exactly happened. The message he'd received on Atlantis had been vague at best. Except for the death part. That was clear as the Lantean sky.

She halted next to a bookshelf. " _Why weren't you?_ " she asked.

He knew for a while now he'd have to explain his absence without the luxury of another galaxy. Precious few people on Earth would know about that. He wished he could tell her the truth… He wished he could show her. He remembered his first few weeks in Atlantis. It was like the universe was new. He would want to see that again, even if he couldn't experience it.

It was an insane thought. One that wouldn't have even entered his mind, except Rodney had the audacity to share his less-than-noetic musings.

He looked at the floor and shook his head. " _I was… working_."

The reminiscence hit him like a rock. She probably remembered the similar phrase repeated often in her early childhood. This was why Eliška asked him to leave. This was why he hadn't seen Anna in eight years. This was why he didn't hesitate to go to another galaxy when offered the chance. He had nothing left here. Nothing but work, and he could do that anywhere.

He was beginning to rethink that. He had something left here. But could he really work anywhere? Now that he knew what was out there?

Snapping back to reality, he noticed tears in Anna's eyes as she nodded, slowly. " _You couldn't have come to see us once or twice?_ "

Was he supposed to tell her the truth? He had every intention of visiting, but Eliška wouldn't have it. Oh, at first, he objected. He argued. He begged. In the end, he gave her what she wanted. Not because of Eliška, not because of the prohibitive costs and stress of potentially years of legal battles. But because of Anna. She deserved better than that.

" _I wanted to_ ," he said. " _Believe me, I wanted to._ "

She grimaced. She didn't believe him, and why shouldn't she? He wrote letters and sent presents, but even those were sporadic. More than once he'd forgotten to send a gift for her birthday. He hadn't forgotten last year, ironically, when shipping was far too expensive to send anything.

" _Then why didn't you?_ "

" _It would have been better_ ," he started, and stopped. Radek shook his head and Anna waited almost patiently. As patiently as a fifteen-year-old could, he guessed. " _I couldn't pick between my family and my work. It wasn't fair to your mother, and it wasn't fair to you._ "

She pondered that for a while. She went into the dining room in the next room. A table big enough for four seats sat under a brass chandelier. She stared into the kitchen for a few minutes.

" _That makes it sound like you wanted to leave_ ," she said finally.

It did. Of course, it did. _Stupid, Radek. Stupid._ Eliška didn't give him much of a chance… or was ten years enough chance? Looking back, he saw the warnings. They were slow and small. He always thought he had more time. Always more time. Until he didn't. " _I never wanted to leave_ ," he said finally.

" _I know mom didn't want you there_ ," she said quietly. Her last word lingered, like she was going to add more. Finally, she did. " _But I don't think you even tried_."

He frowned. " _What do you mean?_ "

" _I'm your daughter, too._ "

" _I thought you—you and your mother—would be happier if I didn't argue. I didn't want to drag you through some sort of custody battle when I knew..._ " When he didn't know that would be best for her. He didn't want to hurt Anna, even though it was unavoidable. He'd already apparently caused some sort of irreversible damage for Eliška. Enough for her to decide she never wanted to see him again. Never wanted Anna to see him again, either.

" _Even if that didn't make you happy_?" Anna raised one eyebrow, a sarcastic tint in her tone that reminded him, eerily, of Rodney.

" _If you're happy, then I am._ "

She nodded and pursed her lips. His response did nothing to break through her generally unimpressed visage. " _And that's why I didn't see you for eight years_." She took a breath. " _Because you were happy_."

" _I wanted to see you._ " He watched her for a response, but she lugged her bag and violin down the hall to the bedroom he'd pointed out earlier without even looking at him. " _I wanted to see you every day._ " He could talk all he wanted. He hadn't been there when she needed him. That was what mattered.

" _Then maybe you should have fought for it._ "


	7. Lying

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

* * *

 **Chapter 7. Lying.**

The apartment was unbearably quiet. At first she wondered where everyone was.

There was no one else. It took her a moment to remember it.

Just her and Radek. No little five-year-olds leaving havoc behind. Entire rooms littered with toys, blankets, and food wrappers. It was all her aunt could do to keep up. Anna tried to help sometimes, but he was little better than when he was a toddler and Anna didn't have the energy.

Just her and Radek. At Aunt Emílie's house, she had been distracted. She pushed through her finals and made it through the summer without incident. Aunt Emílie didn't force her to participate, to talk. She was too busy, and probably holding out hope that Radek would eventually get back to them. Periodically she would curse his bad communication. More often, she would reassure herself with his final warning to her: it would likely be a long time before he could return any messages.

If Radek told her why that was, she never passed that on to Anna.

Anna slipped out from under the covers and took in the blank slate of a room. At home, she had posters of musicians and actors, the solar system and a periodic table of elements. She could put up all the posters she wanted here, but she knew it would never be home. Last night, before going to bed, she'd taped up a picture of her mother over the nightstand.

This morning it was just a reminder that she wasn't here. Just a reminder that this wasn't home.

Anna opened the blinds on the window, letting a box of golden sunlight onto the carpet. The room was warm. The furnace rumbled. Jets roared outside. Inside was as still as a cemetery. She ought to know.

She brushed away her tears when she realized she wouldn't be able to visit the grave anymore. Not until Radek moved them back, and even then he said they'd most likely live in Brno. He said it was too late to get a job at the university this year, and he had unfinished business here.

Anna crept out into the living room and halted.

Now, this was chaos the likes of which even her cousin couldn't create. Somehow, between last night and this morning, the place had been strewn with papers and open books. Even a whiteboard on a rolling stand had been brought in, a tangle of numbers and Greek letters written in black. Maybe from the office she'd walked past last night. And stretched out on the couch, propped up with gray plush pillows, was Radek.

She slid into the kitchen and looked around. It looked untouched, like the living room looked last night. Given the sudden disaster in there, though, she doubted the place was usually this nice. He either pulled out all the stops in preparing the place for her arrival or… she didn't know.

He didn't live here.

It wasn't so far-fetched. He said something about the military base. Maybe he lived somewhere else. Somewhere smaller. Then he moved here when she was coming. But for some reason it looked lived-in all the same.

Decorated with pictures she couldn't imagine him looking at and a photo of one of his pigeons.

She opened the refrigerator. A quart of milk, a tomato, a loaf of bread, and an unopened package of deli meat. Maybe he ate out a lot.

" _Good morning_."

She wouldn't have been startled, but it was so quiet. She hadn't heard him rustle a single paper. She turned toward him. " _Hi_ ," she said. " _What do you eat around here?_ "

He looked in the fridge like he didn't know what was in there. " _I usually eat at the base. I didn't think to get anything…_ " The random—and unspoiled—tomato seemed as odd to him as it did to her.

She went to the pantry and looked in. Oat bran cereal and six cans of chicken soup. She was now convinced. No one lived here.

" _But we can stop at a café or something when we go shopping. You're alright with shopping today?_ "

Anna just nodded as she walked back into the living room. Radek followed at a distance. Anna wondered how long that would last…

She leaned over to study the whiteboard.

" _It was a problem I didn't have time to work on until… well, recently._ "

She glanced at him. Why bother to explain it if he wasn't going to explain it at all? She had no idea what it meant, but it was a strange combination of Czech and English notations alongside the Greek letters and number. She followed the first equation to its conclusion—or, rather, where he'd stopped. She tried to make some sense of it, but this was no basic-level stuff. She followed the algebra of it, anyway, as he tried to sort out and simplify some mystery variable. Seemingly without her bidding, she reached out to touch the board, following the unknown "y" through its maze of constants.

He eliminated a change-in-alpha somewhere. She had no idea how. She held her hand over it and tried to find it.

" _I didn't know you were interested…_ "

" _I'm not_ ," she said. She snapped her hand back and scolded herself for lying. Without her interest in this, she had precious few others. Was she trying to avoid the conclusion that her mother always told her about? Anna was more like Radek than she sometimes wanted to admit. " _I mean sort of… I don't know what I'm interested in._ "

" _I see._ " He sighed at the work on the board and picked up a stack of papers. He aligned the edges as he said, " _We can get going whenever you'd like. I must stop at the base to drop off some things for Rodney._ "

She shrugged. " _Fine._ "

Anna went to her room, listening to his industrious rustling in the living room. She suspected his version of "cleaning up" involved putting a stack of unrelated items in the nearest drawer. Maybe that was just her bias talking. Only someone so disorganized could get lost for half a year. Or seven.

Anna was used to more wardrobe than this. She had five days' worth of clothing, and not a lot of variety there. Her heaviest coat had been left behind for charity. She was told Radek could purchase everything she needed, replace anything she had. Her suitcase held mostly irreplaceable knick-knacks. Photos. Paperwork. Anna realized this year she wasn't the type to hold on to mementos.

She changed into warm clothes. It looked pretty chilly outside. They took a silent taxi to a silent breakfast. Anna tried to practice reading things in English on the highway and the main streets to pass the time, but as Radek announced they were approaching the base, there were no buildings to look at. Just a sign that said something about some-sort-of-vehicles only on an exit. She didn't have time to read it.

Uniformed officers stood at attention at a series of gates, checking every possible form of identification for Radek and double- and triple-checking Anna's passport. They asked questions in rapid and intense English. After making it through the tunnel and securely into the mountain, she was left unceremoniously in a small room on ground level.

Radek said he'd be back soon.

Anna slumped into the nearest chair around the single round table. It looked like it'd been plucked out of the eighties, along with the artificial plant in its middle. The ceiling tiles looked like they were even older.

This wasn't so bad, she told herself. Could have been worse. She didn't know what she'd expected, though. If she were to believe her mother, he lived in a condition of disinterest toward other human beings. On the other hand, she said he was the most kind-hearted, gentle man she'd ever met. It was a nice contradiction she'd never sorted out.

She was used to making her own opinions anyway.

Maybe he was curious about her. He asked a few questions last night over pizza. She hadn't answered many of them. That was still a hint he was trying at this whole "family thing." He'd done it before. Pretty well, if she remembered. Just in time she reminded herself not to trust the impressions, memories, and idols of a seven-year-old.

The door pushed open. She started to stand up until she saw that it wasn't Radek. It was the man from the airport, Doctor McKay.

Even though she hadn't expected him, he clearly expected her. "Hello, Anna."

"Doctor McKay?"

"Hi," he said again. He didn't seem to know what he was going to say. He looked around. "Where's Rad—your dad?" he asked.

"Looking for you," she said.

"Oh." He walked further into the room. Anna tensed, unsure why she was suddenly nervous. "Good. Because I wanted to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Unless Zelenka has another daughter."

She waited. No reason for him to be sarcastic. And he spoke too fast.

He turned toward her, smiled—in a sort of creepy, awkward way—and clasped his hands before him. "So," he said. "How's it going?"

"Fine?"

"Fine." He sounded disappointed. "What do you think of this?" He gestured around the room. When Anna gave him just a blank stare, he said, "Your dad's, um, you know, job."

"Oh." She shrugged. "I don't know." Not that she knew exactly what he did. She suspected that, if it were up to her, they might never talk about it. Except she sort of wanted to know. Hadn't she wanted to be just like him when she grew up once?

"You mean he didn't tell you about it?" Doctor McKay pulled out the chair nearest the door and sat in it.

Anna didn't think the equations and tornado of science in the living room this morning counted as knowing what she thought about his job. It most certainly didn't count as Radek telling her anything about it. With all the guards outside, she figured it was a secret, anyway. She shook her head.

"Figures." He rolled his eyes. "He's running out of time."

"There's a time?" she asked. She was pretty sure that wasn't what she wanted to say, but she couldn't figure out the word she wanted and he seemed impatient.

He didn't seem to recognize that she had said anything. "Yes," he finally answered. "He was doing, for lack of a better word, important things." He glanced at her. Anna didn't know what to think of that, and it must have showed. "No, no, no, no, not that you aren't important."

Anna took half a moment to translate that. She wondered if she would ever automatically take "no" to mean a negative instead of affirmative. * It would take time.

"He stopped because of me," Anna said. "And he didn't want to."

That confirmed half of that contradiction. He'd much rather work on this whatever-it-was than put everything on hold for her. On the other hand… he did put everything on hold. That counted for something.

"No, I mean he did want to," Doctor McKay sighed. Doctor McKay seemed pretty put off about the whole situation. "And if he doesn't change his mind in a week, this will be the biggest mistake he's ever made."

"Mistake." This wasn't a mistake. He'd done that already, anyway. He missed saying goodbye to her mother. He missed her funeral, and he missed eight years of Anna's life. But that meant his colleagues thought she was a mistake. No wonder he was reluctant to talk about his work. "Me."

"Yes." He didn't say anything until he noticed the look on her face. "I mean—no. Not you. Well, yes, you, but not specifically."

Anna leaned back in her chair, deciding not to try to decipher whatever it was he was saying. "What do I do?"

"You don't want him to make the biggest mistake of his life, do you?"

She shook her head. The last thing he needed was another mistake on top of all the ones he'd already made. And Doctor McKay still hadn't answered her question.

"If he stays with us, he can continue his work. It's very important work," Doctor McKay said. "If he stays here, he can't. It's a win-win situation. He gets to keep his work and you."

From Anna's perspective, right now everything was a loss. Anna couldn't decide if he said more than she caught or if he'd left out a major part of the equation. That part being... Radek didn't actually work here. This was like a vacation and he worked somewhere else. So he didn't actually live in his apartment. He didn't even live on base. He'd lied.

Not only that...

Radek went to pretty extreme lengths to tell a convincing lie.

"So I tell him to go back. Where?"

"Unfortunately, I don't have the right to tell you that," he said, although the tone in his voice said he thought he ought to. "Only he can tell you."

And the strange deadline. What was in a week? She didn't ask. He probably couldn't tell her.

"I'll tell you what," Doctor McKay said finally. "You ask him where he's been the last year. Ask him today. You want to know that, right?" When she nodded, he said, "Right. If he tells you the name of anything in the world you're familiar with… he's lying."

Anna took a moment to digest that. So he was lying... Maybe Doctor McKay hadn't meant to confirm that notion so clearly. Or maybe he had. She remembered a time when she took his word as the honest truth, the words of every famous and wise man had to be tested against Radek's.

But was when she was small, and he could no wrong in her eyes. Now she knew that, like the rest of the world, he lived for himself. He arrived only when he meant to, was capable of lying and manipulating a situation to gain a perceived upper hand.

Probably not unlike what Doctor McKay was trying to do right now. Only she was unsure what Doctor McKay wanted in an upper hand.

She watched him critically. "Why tell me this?"

He shrugged. "I want you to know the truth. Then you can decide for yourself."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* "Ano" in Czech means "yes" but the Czech equivalent of "yeah" is the shorter "no." How confusing is that?

* * *

 _A/N: Apparently millions of people (like 10% of the population-ish?) in the Czech Republic speak English, so it isn't beyond the realm of possibility that she's pretty good at it because she could have gotten to practice at home. I tried to give her realistic dialogue for her English with that in mind, while still moving things along. She'd probably use way more Czech, but I didn't want to mangle any more of the language than necessary since my experience with Czech begins and ends with Stargate: Atlantis…_


	8. Shopping

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _To linda: Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review! I'm very glad to hear that you like my take on Radek and Rodney and also that you like Anna. I've tried to keep her development as realistic I could, but she's certainly in for some rather... unique experiences. ;) All that to say, I hope she continues to meet approval as she goes on her adventures._

* * *

 **Chapter 8. Shopping.**

"Anna," Radek said. He touched her elbow to guide her to the door, but she shied away. No matter, he decided. "This is Doctor Elizabeth Weir. She's been my boss for the last year." Sort of. No need to get complicated.

She nodded, and looked at Weir.

Elizabeth smiled back. "Nice to meet you, Anna."

"It's nice to meet you, too," Anna said.

Radek had noticed Weir looked pretty down and invited her to go shopping with them. Of course, it was nice she had a car. It was also nice she was a woman. Radek didn't understand what could possibly be so complicated about clothes shopping, but he'd apparently never mastered the finer points.

"I hope you don't mind, but your dad invited me to go to the mall with you," Weir went on.

Anna looked to Radek, probably because her phrasing and tone was a little strange. It was one oddity about Weir, that she said almost everything like a question. It was endearing after a while, but irritating when English wasn't one's first language.

Or maybe it was just endearing all the time.

"Don't women like to get opinions on the clothes they're trying?" Radek asked. "I have no sense of aesthetics." When Anna grinned in response, Radek felt accomplished.

Weir laughed and said, "I can't argue with that." She walked out of the complex toward her vehicle, Radek and Anna following a step behind.

Weir didn't say anything else. Radek had told her to please avoid any conversations regarding Atlantis. If Weir was surprised, she did a good job hiding it. According to Rodney, she'd already approved the new quarters. He hoped she wouldn't be disappointed when they didn't come back.

"Radek says you play violin," Weir said when they had settled in her car. The closest shopping mall was several miles away. The snow piled up on the side of the roads, melting under the warm sun.

"Yes," Anna said. "Only for fun now. I don't think I will join orchestra here."

"You don't?" Radek asked. He glanced at Elizabeth. She still didn't show any signs of surprise that Anna was oblivious to Atlantis. There were no orchestras on Atlantis. "You don't have to," he added. "You can do whatever you want." He couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't unbearably awkward.

"What's your favorite song to play?" Elizabeth asked.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, was pretty good at this, Radek thought. He typically got tongue-tied trying to keep a conversation going.

Anna smiled. "I like classical pieces, but for my birthday Radek sent the _Fellowship of the Ring_ music book." She looked thoughtful in the rear-view mirror. Radek wondered if she remembered him reading her bits of _Pán Prstenů *_ when she was small. Come to think of it, she usually fell asleep in the middle of it. "I play 'Concerning Hobbits' a lot."

Radek picked the book out for her a few years ago, after the film came as an international success. He remembered it now that she mentioned it. Didn't remember that before, though. No wonder he wasn't very good at this.

And he didn't miss that she'd called him by his first name. He supposed he might have to get used to that…

"I saw the movie," Elizabeth said. "I don't know the songs, though." Anna whistled it for her, and Elizabeth nodded enthusiastically. "I do know that one. I'll bet it sounds lovely."

"I like songs from film and television."

"I would like to hear you play sometime," Elizabeth said.

Radek nodded his agreement. He would like to hear her play everything he ever missed. But, he guessed, that would be one ridiculously long concert. But, if Anna had it to decide, he had probably missed all of them… except for the private concert wherein "Concerning Hobbits" would be performed.

That was alright.

The mall was large and set back into a hill that had to be dug out to accommodate it. They stopped to admire Pikes Peak before going inside. Radek double-checked for his wallet. This was going to be expensive.

He followed Anna into a section of the store he never cared to be before. He took a few minutes to inspect a navy blue shirt that was missing half of it. Trying to figure out which half was missing, exactly, he pulled the hanger off its perch.

"Nice," Anna said approvingly. She pulled on the corner of the hanger to see what the front looked like.

"Lovely color," Elizabeth agreed.

"Really?" He let go of it when Anna took a hold of the hanger to hold it up. "I think it's missing something, miláčku." Two days of being a father and he was already breaking all the rules he'd made for himself. He couldn't walk into her life and tell her what not to wear, just like that, could he?

Yes. Yes, he could.

Anna held the shirt up the way it was supposed to be worn. The entire back of it appeared to be missing. "Don't… Nebuďte blahosklonný." ** She glanced at Weir. "I don't know the word."

"Condescending," Radek helped. A word he had to know pretty well, working with Rodney. "And I'm not. I'm just—"

"How about this one?" Elizabeth approached with a silky shirt in a different blue. The only thing Radek noticed about it was the obscene amount of fabric around the neck.

"I like this." Anna hung up the navy blue shirt and held up Elizabeth's.

"I can't believe cowl necks have come back." Elizabeth smiled at Radek.

Radek held his hands up. "I don't understand."

"That's okay," Anna said. "Leave it to the girls." She smiled at Elizabeth.

Radek's heart soared to see her smile and left them to it. He wandered the racks of clothes while he listened to them debate colors, fabrics, and styles. He was no judge of anything involving social circles, but they seemed to get along very well.

Even though Anna's English wasn't fantastic, it was good enough for most purposes. Elizabeth was the perfect partner for her to practice with, too. She was patient and pretty good at guessing the word that Anna was looking for before Radek ever had a chance to step in with a translation. It seemed she knew more Czech words than she ever let on.

He paused for a full minute in front of a prom dress.

He wasn't ready for this.

"Radek, we're going to look at shoes," Elizabeth said, approaching with Anna.

"Is this okay?" Anna asked. She showed him her selections. Five shirts, including the two blue shirts, three pairs of pants, and assorted jewelry.

Despite his qualms, he nodded. He still had to get through the shoes. "Yes, that's fine."

"Good. Thank you." Anna slung the shirts, pants, and necklaces over her arm and walked off toward the shoes.

Radek followed, Elizabeth falling in step next to him.

"You know," she said with a friendly pat on his shoulder. "I think you're going to do just fine."

He couldn't help a smile. He looked at her. Had to make sure she wasn't joking. "You think so?"

"Yes." She laughed. "I think you're going to be good at this."

"I wish I could be so sure," Radek said. "I don't know what she thinks of me." He stopped at the end of an aisle where Anna knelt to look at a pair of boots. "I don't have a right to expect much thought."

"Radek," Elizabeth scolded. "Don't be ridiculous. Just give her some time and you some credit."

He nodded. Time. He didn't know about the credit, but time would definitely do something. He didn't know what.

"Radek?" she said. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but you haven't told her about Atlantis yet."

Radek paled. "You didn't say anything?"

"No, of course not." Elizabeth glanced toward Anna. She was still looking at shoes at the other end of the aisle, but Elizabeth dropped her voice low anyway. "But I was under the impression that you were going to take her with you to live on Atlantis."

"It's a ridiculous idea," Radek said. "It is incredibly dangerous."

"I can't argue with you there," Elizabeth said with a slight smile. "But…"

"But really no safer than Earth?" Radek asked. "That's what Rodney said."

"Oh, no." Elizabeth laughed as though that was among the most outrageous things she ever heard. "No, I wasn't going to say that. That's crazy."

"Well, I agree," Radek said. The universe itself was a dangerous place. And maybe Earth just seemed safe because it was familiar. The bad things that happened here were mostly designed by other human beings.

The worst things, by human beings like him… which in itself was terrifying.

Maybe Atlantis was safer. Fewer people.

Elizabeth said, "I was going to say you will be greatly missed."

"And I will miss Atlantis." And everything else. He was pretty sure he'd even miss Rodney.

It was only a matter of time before two pairs of shoes were added to purchase and they stood outside in the mall's main boulevard. Radek looked at Elizabeth and Anna. He didn't know about them, but shopping apparently made him pretty hungry.

"What do you say to lunch?" Radek asked.

"The food court is just that way," Elizabeth said, pointing. "Plenty of options."

"I'm hungry," Anna said.

The food court was a bustle of activity at this time, only thirty minutes before noon. Anna decided on Chick-fil-A pretty quickly. Radek had never eaten there, so he decided to try it. He liked chicken. He liked anything that wasn't military rations… or Jell-o.

Elizabeth looked at the menu, frowned, and shook her head. "I'm going to look around," she said as Radek handed cash to the order taker. She started a circular path around the food court.

"I will find a seat," Anna offered. She went off without a by-your-leave.

Radek didn't know why he was so nervous, but he kept one eye on her while he waited for their food. Their food came up quickly enough, and Radek took a chair at the table that Anna dropped her things at. She swiped a few crumbs from the table top.

" _Thank you,_ " she said.

" _You're welcome,_ " Radek answered. " _Here's your sandwich._ "

Anna took the sandwich and unwrapped it. " _Where were you?_ " she asked suddenly. " _While you were away?_ "

He glanced at her, then toward where he'd seen Elizabeth last. Elizabeth was wandering around, looking for something suitable. Still. It was food, not military rations, not alien, and that was good enough for Radek.

" _I told you I was working_ ," he said. He opened his box of chicken nuggets.

" _I know_ ," she said quietly. " _W_ _here?_ "

" _Why are you asking this now?_ " he asked, trying to come up with a reasonable answer. Ah-ha.

" _Because I want to know._ "

The American military personnel had the luxury of top secret operations in obscure areas of the globe. Czech physicists didn't. " _Antarctica_ ," he said. That was the farthest away place he could think of where it might be a little reasonable to think that he couldn't be reached for four months. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't awful either.

She leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. " _You're lying_."

He turned toward her, suddenly indignant. Yes, he was, but she could not possibly know that. " _Excuse me?_ "

She shifted uncomfortably, her fingers gripping her arms. She took a deep breath and said, " _You heard me. You're lying._ "

Radek didn't trust his ability to continue lying, so he decided not to try. " _Where was I, then?_ "

" _If I knew, I wouldn't ask,_ " Anna answered.

They both glanced at Weir as she sat down at their table with Chinese food. She smiled, her eyes dancing between them. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"

"Of course not," Radek said, thankful that they could at least continue this conversation later. Preferably after he'd had significant time to think.

" _I want to know_ ," Anna continued.

"Don't be rude, Anna," Radek said sternly.

" _You lied to me_ ," Anna retorted.

Radek responded by handing her the last of his Chick-fil-A nuggets. "We will talk about this later," he said, and looked at Elizabeth. "I am sorry."

"Oh, no, it's fine." Elizabeth smiled at him and opened the lid on her meal. It smelled like cashew chicken. "I like listening, even if I don't understand."

That was very like her, Radek decided, but Anna was still… He didn't know what to think. He smiled back at Elizabeth. Then he had a thought.

He looked at Anna. " _You didn't talk to Rodney, did you? Doctor McKay?_ "

She shrugged.

Damnit. Rodney putting his nose where it didn't belong. He should have guessed. " _We will talk later_."

Anna nodded, staring at her waffle fries.

Radek looked at Weir and half-smiled. "Thank you for bringing us, Elizabeth."

She nodded as she cracked open her fortune cookie. "My favorite part about eating Chinese food." She unfolded her fortune. "No distance is too far if two hearts are tied together." She smiled sadly and handed it to Radek.

He took it. "That is very nice." Still, he doubted it very much. Distance in a single dimension, maybe. Add seven years' distance at a galaxy apart and it was easy for hearts to become untied. It was easy enough when two hearts lived in the same house…

"Just difficult to tell when two hearts are tied together," Elizabeth said quietly. She picked up her chopsticks and started eating.

He kept his eyes on the paper, nodding, hearing the heartbreak in her voice. He knew she was going to visit Simon… it must not have gone well.

"But thank you for inviting me along," she said.

"Thank you for volunteering your car," Radek said.

"I was happy to get out," Elizabeth said. "It's been a long few days."

Radek nodded knowingly. It really had been. Long and stressful. Probably for all of them. "Did you find everything you wanted, Anna? At least for a few days?"

"Yes, thank you," Anna said. She sighed and leaned over the arm of her chair to look at the bags of clothing. "Thank you for taking us, Elizabeth."

"You're very welcome. Anytime."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Lord of the Rings

** Nebuďte blahosklonný = Don't be condescending.


	9. Could Be Home

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

* * *

 **Chapter 9. Could be Home.**

Radek walked past her into the living room. He looked at the whiteboard. Maybe he'd forget the scolding she was about to get and decide to just work on whatever it was.

No such luck. " _Sit down_."

Anna slumped onto the couch, dropping her shopping bags at her feet. He had a tone she'd never heard from him before. It was a tone she was familiar with, sure. Whenever she did something or went somewhere she wasn't supposed to.

As if she could talk about going somewhere she wasn't supposed to. No idea where he'd been.

" _I'm sitting,_ " she said after a minute of silence.

" _I'm thinking,_ " he answered. He turned from the whiteboard a moment later. " _What did Rodney tell you?_ "

Nothing. But enough to make sure she knew there was definitely something. " _Enough to know you weren't telling the truth._ " She waited. He didn't seem too concerned about that part, the lying-thing. It concerned her. " _He said you could tell me. He couldn't_."

" _At least he gave me that,_ " he said sarcastically. He looked at her critically and pursed his lips. Still deciding whether or not to tell her the truth maybe?

" _I don't know what this is about,_ " Anna said finally. " _Doctor McKay said you have a week to change your mind. He said you're making a big mistake_."

" _Don't give too much thought to that_. _He thinks everything I do is a mistake._ "

Anna didn't get that impression from their little conversation this morning. If nothing else, she got the impression that Doctor McKay resented her being there. Doctor McKay thought that she was the mistake.

" _No,_ " Radek said. He looked at her squarely, apparently answering his own internal questions aloud. " _This is the most important thing I've ever done_."

It was a nice sentiment, but beside the point. " _But he said he wanted me to know the truth._ " And make her own decision. She wasn't sure what that decision would be, especially with Radek emphatically calling the shots around here. On the other hand, he'd already bought her everything she wanted despite his objections.

" _The truth is complicated_."

" _Lies are complicated_ ," she shot back. " _How long were you going to stick to the 'Antarctica' story?_ " Besides, what in the world was there for him to do in Antarctica?

" _I did work in Antarctica,_ " he said. " _Just not in the last year._ " He went to the bookshelf and picked up an envelope sitting on the bottom shelf. A single page of what must have been a hundred slid out easily. " _You have to sign this first_."

She took the page from his hand. It was small font on a long page, all in Czech. In short, it was a confidentiality agreement essentially promising life in prison or worse if she were to reveal some secret. It must have been very big.

" _You sold your soul to the US government?_ " she asked.

He smirked. " _I suppose it looks that way._ "

" _Do you have a pen?_ "

" _You're going to sign it?_ " He looked dismayed, but he looked around for a pen anyway. He found one in his breast pocket. He held the pen out to her, only to draw it back when she reached for it. " _This will change everything,_ malá."

She leaned forward and snatched the pen. " _I thought I wasn't so little anymore_."

He sighed and sat on the other side of the couch. " _You're littler than you know_."

She signed her name and turned toward him. He was staring at the paper like his life was over. Or maybe her life. Looking at it like someone died. Well, that had already happened and whatever secrets this paper was hiding was the reason he wasn't here for it.

" _Well?_ " she prodded.

It took him a long time, but Anna decided to wait. She tried to ignore her heart hammering in her chest—it couldn't have been that earth-shattering. He'd missing for four months—so missing he didn't hear about his ex-wife's death. Dropped off the planet and resumed life here in Colorado Springs like nothing had happened. Nothing except the death of Anna's mother. It seemed like nothing could be bigger than that… _That_ changed everything.

Could this secret change everything? Shopping? School? Music? Family?

" _The reason I didn't get word about your mother for so long was because I was in another galaxy_." Was that hyperbole? " _An old city—very old, ten-thousand years old and more—was discovered by explorers from Earth._ "

" _Literally another galaxy?_ " she asked. She'd missed the second part of whatever he said. She had a hard enough time visualizing this galaxy, much less another one.

" _Everything I say until further notice is literal_ ," he said.

Literally another galaxy. Literally ten-thousand years old. Literally explorers from Earth. She didn't want to ask where else they could possibly be from. She felt like she was listening to a fairy tale or a bedtime story.

" _May I continue?_ " he asked.

" _Yes,_ " she said. He took a breath to go on, but Anna found herself interrupting almost without her will. " _How?_ "

" _I'm getting to that. In short, we've discovered a device that allows travel from one planet to another by artificial wormholes._ " He paused long enough for her to nod. " _I was on the team that went to explore this city in the Pegasus galaxy. It was very dangerous. The city, when we first found it, was anchored to the bottom of the ocean. I recorded a message for you explaining what happened when we first arrived, but it required security clearance so I sent a different message. The message you did get_."

He paused and looked at her. She realized that she must have had a blank stare for his entire speech. She looked straight through him, not at him, trying to put this together. She was still stuck in the "other galaxy" part of the explanation.

" _The city is full of technology created by a race we call the Ancients. They're gone now, but they were very advanced._ "

That explained what he was doing there. Radek didn't strike her as an explorer. Not the kind that climbed mountains and sailed seas. She felt a small smile creep to her lips.

Of course, he was an explorer. He was always looking for something new.

" _What?_ " he asked.

She shook her head, trying to shed her smile. " _You went to study their technology? The aliens?_ "

" _Yes. It was incredible. Really something. We found things and learned things I never imagined possible. I'll never forget it for as long as I live._ "

Now he sounded sad, sounded like he looked when he watched her sign the paper, like someone died. And maybe something did…

" _But you can't go back,_ " Anna finished. She understood Doctor McKay's resentment now. She didn't imagine herself an explorer, but if she was as smart as Radek she wouldn't turn down the opportunity to go to another galaxy for anything. " _Because I'm here._ "

" _No, no, you mustn't think that,_ " he said. He laughed slightly. " _I said it was dangerous. It is very dangerous. There are aliens there who want to destroy us. In the beginning it seemed like the city itself didn't want us there._ "

But what was danger in comparison to an ancient city with wonders she could never possibly imagine? Even he couldn't imagine them.

" _You want to go back, though_." Maybe he didn't realize how sad he sounded. Broken-hearted. She couldn't assign a likeness to it. Maybe like she felt whenever she thought of her mother. She'd lost something important she could never get back.

Except Doctor McKay seemed to think he could get it back.

" _Sometimes,_ " he answered. " _To be honest, it is more trouble and stress, I think, than it's worth…_ " He didn't sound completely convinced. He added flippantly, " _The money is good._ "

" _Doctor McKay thinks you still have time to change your mind_."

" _Doctor McKay_." He sighed, almost growled, the name. " _He doesn't think things through. He's very smart, but… not always, and not about everything._ " He paused and looked at her. Took a very deep breath. " _He thinks I should take you with me._ "

She sat up straighter at that. Take her to another galaxy?

" _But I can't,_ " he said before she got to imagine too much of that. " _There are aliens who… well, for lack of a better word, eat humans._ " He looked at his hands. " _There are probably millions of them in space ships as big as downtown Colorado Springs. Or bigger. I don't know a good comparison_."

" _They… eat humans?_ "

" _They—well, it's a little gruesome_."

" _I've seen_ Alien _. Do they eat you from the inside out?_ "

He frowned in distaste. " _When did you see that?_ "

" _I'm fifteen._ "

" _Yes, yes. I'm sorry._ " He paused and then got back on track. " _No, they suck the life out of you with their hand._ " He pointed to his palm. " _When I sent you the message, we were about to be attacked. The city is safe now—as safe as it ever is, anyway—but we all thought we were going to die horrible deaths in one way or another. I can't take you there._ "

" _But don't they need you?_ " she asked.

" _I can be replaced. I will be replaced. That's the deadline_."

He was right. Nothing would ever be the same. She'd remember this conversation for as long as she lived. It wasn't just the new reality she had to get used to: aliens and other galaxies and cities and technology ten thousand years old. She could never look at the world the same, could she? She could never look at him the same. She could never forget how lost he sounded when he talked about the city in another galaxy. He couldn't go home.

She shook her head. " _You? You can't be replaced._ "

He laughed. " _That's nice of you, but I can be replaced. It won't be as hard as Rodney imagines._ " He paused, then.

" _Doctor McKay said he wanted me to know the truth so I could decide for myself_ ," she said.

She didn't know what decision she had in this, but she knew she had to try. She'd wanted to be like him all her life. He was brave enough to go to another galaxy. She wanted to be brave enough, too.

" _There's no decision_ ," he said. " _It's too dangerous_."

" _You were small when two-thousand tanks invaded Czechoslovakia_ ," she said. He frowned at the comparison. She didn't care what he thought. " _The world isn't safe._ "

" _Significantly safer than Pegasus,_ " he said.

She got the feeling she wasn't going to be able to convince him. But the last thing she wanted was for both of them to be miserable. She'd accepted that for herself already. Maybe if she was in another galaxy, she'd forget.

" _I don't care where I am_ ," she said.

" _You don't understand the Pegasus galaxy_."

" _No, I don't._ " She hesitated and tried to think. Tears welled up in her eyes, though she willed them to go away. " _But I don't understand Colorado, either. I don't understand anything._ " She hadn't meant to say that, however true it was. She didn't understand this country. She didn't understand her father. She no longer understood her life. _"I can't go home. Mom is—is gone._ " She blinked at her tears. It seemed to work.

He looked around. Anna did, too. " _I'd like to think this could be home_ ," he said. " _For both of us_."

She shook her head as she looked around. But it would always be the place she learned about aliens, now. It would always be the place he would never be happy with. " _I don't think it will be. For either of us._ "

" _We should give it a try, though_."

" _For a week? Then it will be too late and you'll lose home forever_."

He looked at her. " _I was afraid I already did, eight years ago_."

Anna shrugged. There it was again, that "nice sentiment." She didn't know if he actually believed that. She certainly didn't. Not when there were aliens and ancient cities involved.

He was right. Before she signed the paper, everything was about the same, minus her mother. As overwhelmingly large as that darkened hole in her soul was, this was bigger. So big it didn't compare. He was right… the whole world was different. She was smaller than she thought to imagine.

There was one thing he didn't understand yet: he had lost her eight years ago. The world lost her four months ago. The world didn't matter. " _Then does it matter where we live?_ "

Radek watched her for a few seconds. " _If two hearts are tied together, no distance is too far. Is that what you're saying?_ "

Anna doubted that was what she was saying, but she remembered it from Elizabeth's fortune cookie a few hours ago. She didn't know if her heart was tired to anything at all. But it wasn't tied to Earth anymore, that was certain.

No. She finally decided that wasn't true. Radek's heart was millions of lightyears away. That distance mattered.

" _I guess so,_ " Anna said finally, just to oblige him. Maybe, she thought, being in another galaxy would make her forget just how far apart two hearts could be.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Malá = Little.

* * *

 _A/N: Huzzah, Anna finally knows about Atlantis! Well. No one could accuse me of rushing._


	10. History

_Ten chapters, huzzah!_

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: Radek and Anna have decided to go back to Atlantis._

* * *

 **Chapter 10. History.**

No one knew where Rodney was.

Radek couldn't believe he was doing this…

He wandered through the halls of the SGC, listening more than looking. He usually found Rodney because he was yelling at someone.

He stopped in the conference room over the gateroom, looking down at the Milky Way ring. It was a clunky piece of technology in comparison to his Pegasus 'gates. But then, he always preferred blue to red. He rested on the window's ledge.

"Radek. I didn't know you were here."

He turned towards Elizabeth's voice, but kept his eyes on the Stargate. "Have you seen Rodney?" he asked.

"He's reviewing candidates for new science teams," she answered. "Probably trying to distract himself from his IOA review." She leaned on the ledge next to him and smiled at the Stargate. "I think he's looking for your replacement."

"Well," Radek sighed. "I hope he didn't waste too much time." He glanced at Elizabeth, couldn't help but smile when he saw her face. "I wish I could be so excited. This means going back to work for Rodney."

"Assuming your review goes well, you'll get your own department."

He didn't need his own department, but it sounded nice. Rodney would probably find something about it to ridicule. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Elizabeth threw back. "I take it that you made Anna an offer she couldn't refuse?"

More the other way around. Still, he would second-guess this moment every day of his foreseeable future. One thing was for certain: he would enjoy showing her Atlantis. She would see things, learn things, no one else would. It would be dangerous and exciting… not exactly his favorite combination of words.

"She talked me into telling her," Radek answered. "And once she learned about the Pegasus galaxy and Atlantis, I guess she decided it was really no more foreign to her than the US." It was a joke. It had to be a joke. But he didn't laugh.

Elizabeth laughed. "It's still foreign to me," she said. "But it's also still home."

Radek nodded. All of this was assuming he did a fine enough job last year. He knew he had. He did everything he was asked and more aside. He never complained even when his boss was a verbally abusive egomaniac. "When is my review?"

"Tomorrow," Elizabeth answered.

Radek looked at her askance.

"I guess it was a bit of denial on my part, but I never believed you were leaving," Elizabeth explained with a small, almost sheepish smile. "On the practical side, it would have been easier to reschedule than to cancel and have to schedule it again."

"You're all insane." Radek chuckled, but was grateful anyway. Having his review sooner rather than later was always preferable. He would have hated for it to be put off until the very last day. It would make even more difficult all the preparations he'd have to make.

"Probably, a little," Elizabeth allowed. "We did all go to another galaxy, didn't we?"

"We did."

"And we're going back. I don't know what that makes us." She laughed.

More than crazy. He laughed along with her, wondering how he'd never heard her laugh before. Atlantis wasn't exactly a pleasant place, was it? He was making a huge mistake.

Steps cantered down the stairs. Radek turned to see Rodney there, with a stack of paper rife with paperclips.

"Elizabeth, I think I've narrowed down the list," he said, adding in surprise, "Radek." He pointed at Radek and added, "You know, I think it's only fair if you help because—I would have to add additional science teams anyway, but I have to replace you and…"

"Rodney," Radek interrupted. "You can't replace me."

"Oh, I beg to differ." Rodney flipped through his stack of paper and pulled one out. "Look at this one. Where is it?" He suddenly stopped, his fingers frozen between one page and another. "What was his name? He?"

"No, my skillset has yet to be matched by anyone in any of those files." Radek walked over and took the stack of papers from his hand. "I guarantee it."

"I suppose you think you're God's gift to Atlantis, hm?" Rodney asked.

"No, that's your department," Radek said. "But, if you find someone who can stomach working with Narcissus himself, let me know and I'll gladly give up my job."

"Oh." Rodney paused, and snatched the papers back. "Oh, so you…"

"You will never use my daughter to manipulate me again."

Everyone in the room looked surprised. Radek was surprised. He'd never stood up to Rodney before. He had the feeling that he never would again. Or maybe he would if Rodney ever did something like that again.

"Well. As long as you never do something so incredibly stupid again," Rodney said.

Radek didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't. He'd run out of things to say. He walked around to Rodney's side and looked at the top page in his hand. "But if you need help selecting the candidates…"

"Ha," Rodney said, handing him half the pile anyway. "Need. That's funny. You're welcome to peruse, though."

Radek took the pile of names and accomplishments. Once, not too long ago, he had been in a pile just like that.

Elizabeth watched them, looking amused. "Thank you, Radek. I'll leave you two to it."

"Thank you, Elizabeth." Rodney watched her leave and then picked through his pile again. "Some of these people are more qualified than you," he said.

Radek nodded. It was true. It looked like one or two of them were just as qualified as Rodney. There was no measure of social skills, though. It was something that Radek prided himself on now that he'd met Rodney. Everything was relative to Rodney on Atlantis…

They both sat at the conference room table to read. While halfway through the third very impressive resume, Radek said, "Thank you, though."

"Hm, for what?"

"Keeping me from doing something stupid."

"You know I got a raise just for fixing your stupid mistakes?"

"I guess it's mutual, then."

Rodney slammed down his stack of papers. "What?"

Radek grinned and kept reading, ignoring Rodney's continuous objections.

#

It seemed like everyone knew exactly where they were going, what they were doing. No one wandered or seemed out of place. At least not in the infirmary, where she was sitting. Of course, they were inside an underground mountain complex. Everyone was wearing uniforms of some kind. Lots of them were carrying guns. Somewhere, probably in the center of the cement labyrinth, a thing called a Stargate sent people off to distant parts of the galaxy. Radek gave her a very brief overview of history since the 'gate became active. They met aliens, they found ships, Earth almost got destroyed a couple of times. For some reason, that scared her. She wasn't sure why.

They couldn't use the Stargate to go to the Pgeasus galaxy. They'd have to take a spaceship, because it took too much power to use the Stargate. Earth had _spaceships_.

Anna supposed that, if she were in an underground mountain complex wherein the most advanced notion of space travel was taking place… she'd have to know exactly where she was going and what she was doing, too.

She didn't know either.

Right now, the only thing she knew was that there was an insane amount of medical tests to be done for people doing to another galaxy. She guessed that made sense. She'd never had so much blood taken from her veins in her life. And it wasn't nearly as scary as she imagined.

" _Anna Zelenková, I presume_."

Anna whipped around at another voice speaking to her in Czech. It wasn't incredibly good, but it was a welcome sound amongst the scattered and quickly-spoken English. " _Yeah_ ," she answered.

" _I'm a linguist here, but my interests are mostly ancient languages. My Czech is actually pretty terrible_ ," he said. He smiled apologetically and sat on the gurney across from her. " _My name is Daniel Jackson_."

"Nice to meet you, Mister Jackson," she said, wondering if he knew she spoke English. "My English is probably worse than your Czech."

"I doubt that," he responded. "I practice when I can. Which isn't very often."

"I think I will get very good at English very soon," Anna said. She hoped that was the case, anyway. " _But if you want to practice, I don't mind._ " Anna remembered once seeing a few American tourists in Prague asking a local to help them practice their Czech over lunch. This man was practically a professional in comparison.

" _Thank you. And you can call me Daniel_ ," he said.

Anna nodded. " _Are you going to Atlantis, too?_ "

" _No, unfortunately. I'd love to. But I'm needed here_." He looked around at the walls and the ceiling. " _I just talked to your dad. You're not going to an American school at all._ "

Anna shook her head. " _It would be difficult._ " And awkward. It would be as if she only just started before she was to leave again. " _I wouldn't be there long enough to feel like it wasn't my first day._ "

" _I offered to teach you history while you're here_ ," Daniel went on.

Anna found herself nodding before she really had a chance to think that through. " _But you are a linguist?_ "

He smiled, like he'd forgotten to mention something very important. " _And an archaeologist. Egyptologist. Which comes up more often than you might think exploring other planets._ "

Anna didn't know how long to wait for an explanation on that one. Or maybe all she had to do was ask. " _I take it that means history doesn't conform to the books I've been reading_ ," she said.

" _Well, no, it's fine for the most part. An excellent interpretation if you take the aliens out of it_."

" _Aliens_." Anna paused, grinned. Aliens on Earth, potentially altering the course of history. " _Did they build the Great Wall of China?_ "

" _No._ " Daniel laughed, like that was a joke. Then he took on a completely straight face like what he was about the say wasn't. " _But they did build the pyramids_."

" _The pyramids_." Was that really so far-fetched? A few rooms away, people were coming and going across the galaxy through a ring made by ancient aliens.

" _Landing pads for alien spaceships_." He looked like he'd been waiting for years to tell this story. " _How's that? The most important history lesson you never learned._ "

Anna nodded. That was an understatement. And it looked like it had to be true. Alien rings. Spaceships. Ten-thousand-year-old cities in distant galaxies. " _What aliens_?"

Daniel glanced at the doctor flying back and forth between one machine and another. "Is she cleared to go?"

The doctor looked at Anna for a moment. "I suppose, for now. You need to come back in a few hours for some follow-up tests. No reason to keep you here if you have somewhere else to go."

Daniel grinned. "She has a lot of catching up to do."


	11. Favors

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought.  
_

 _There is a note at the bottom of this chapter that explains everything. Okay, maybe not everything. But, trust me, there is a reason for this. Okay? Okay._

 _Last time: Next stop, Atlantis. After the_ Daedalus _comes to pick us up, anyway.  
_ _This time: I'd like you to meet my friends. And this guy._

* * *

 **Chapter 11. Favors.**

"Good morning, Anna," Doctor Weir said. She folded her hands on her desk. She was a slim woman with red hair and small lips. She was pretty though, and had a nice smile. Anna didn't know what to expect from the members of the expedition, but somehow it wasn't this woman who went shopping with them. She didn't expect any member of the expedition to do things like that.

But maybe they were real people, after all.

"I'm glad you found your way here."

"Radek walked with me." Then he'd pointed at the right door. He said he was already late. It was partially Anna's fault. She slept late. And, even though her wardrobe was admittedly tiny, she couldn't find anything to wear. Nothing that she'd wanted to wear, anyway. Nothing appropriate for the first day of school where she was the only student.

"That's good," Elizabeth said. She motioned at the chair on the other side of her desk. Anna sat where she indicated and waited. "I got your placement tests from District 11—and I guess they got your records from where you went to school before?"

Anna nodded. It was nice talking to Elizabeth. Even though Anna didn't understand every single word, she spoke slowly and distinctly enough for Anna to get the context.

"You're quite far ahead in math and science. I see that the school wouldn't have anywhere to put you even if you went there." She smiled in approval.

"I study a lot," Anna said. What she didn't mention was how long she'd been studying. It wouldn't be so incredible if Elizabeth knew that from the moment Anna could read, she'd been following the path she thought she was born for. The path both of her parents said she was born for.

"I can tell," Elizabeth said. She looked for a long time at the papers in front of her. Then she looked up. "How long have you been learning English?"

"Not long," Anna said. "I learned German until my mother got sick. She knew Radek was in the United States so she wanted me to learn English instead."

Elizabeth's brow furrowed, a small smile tickled the corners of her mouth. "You've been learning for a year? That's very good."

"I watch many English videos." But it wasn't all fun and games. She couldn't be a bother. She had to be competent. She worked for hours, repeating words and phrases into the night.

It was a decent escape from her small cousin, too.

"But we can work on your English, too. It's the only subject you're behind in."

Anna was surprised how indignant she felt when Elizabeth said that. If there were such thing as Czech or German classes required by this country, she'd be ahead in those. "Yes," she said finally. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to say, but it was the only thing she could figure out in English.

"Are you interested in history?" Elizabeth asked. "Sociology? Psychology?"

Anna shrugged. She really wasn't. If she could have, she would have simply forgotten all of the other classes. Science and math were what she was good at, what she practiced. Some days she felt she couldn't form a correct sentence on paper, but she was also sure it didn't matter.

Especially in English.

"Radek says it's important to learn other things." She wasn't sure why.

"Oh, I agree," Elizabeth said. "I had to take physics classes, biology classes…"

That was a little different. Anna wasn't sure why.

Elizabeth paused for a long time, then leaned on her desk. Hands folded. She smiled and looked at Anna out of the corner of her eyes. "You don't think this is important, though," she said.

Anna smiled a little. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. I'm sure your dad and Doctor McKay think the same thing."

"It must be important." For some reason. She didn't say that. But someone somewhere thought whatever Elizabeth did—not math or science, apparently—was important enough to lead the Atlantis expedition. "It is interesting."

Elizabeth sat back in her chair and straightened her shirt. "I hope so."

#

Radek said his name was Doctor Beckett, and that he understood Czech. Anna found that hard to believe, seeing as he was already a brilliant doctor and geneticist, and so had to keep current and study. He knew Czech well enough to speak it and he somehow he found time to fish, too. How did someone have the time to learn all of those things?

Maybe he learned Czech while he went fishing.

Anna slid into the conference room just in time to see him sigh heavily as he sorted through pages scattered over the table. He shook his head, looked up when Anna stepped into the conference room.

"Hello," he said. His smile was wilted, like he hadn't gotten any sleep and didn't know what he was doing awake. He looked around the conference room, even though he had to recognize he was the only one in there. "Are you lost?"

She shook her head. At least, she didn't think she was lost. "You are Doctor Beckett?"

He leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes. " _You must be Doctor Zelenka's daughter._ "

Anna didn't know how much English she'd been speaking. Talking with Doctor Jackson helped, but he hadn't been here the last few days. "Anna," she helped. She paused when she realized she was smiling. She went closer to the table and said, " _Radek told me you speak Czech._ "

" _I do, but not very well._ "

Anna would have liked to ask why in the world he spoke Czech. It was a little hard to decipher with his accent, but it was nice to meet someone else going to Atlantis who could speak her native language. " _That's okay. I don't speak English very well._ " She tried not to pout, but she still didn't like how juvenile she felt whenever she tried to speak English. An American infants spoke better. " _Everyone has had to put up with me butchering the English language all day_."

" _I understand it better than I speak it,_ " he explained. " _Your father and I get around that by my speaking English and his speaking Czech. It usually works. He is much better with English than I am with Czech._ "

" _I'd never guess_ ," she offered.

He grinned. " _I am thrilled to meet you, Anna_ ," he said. " _I'm afraid I'm a bit swamped right now. You're welcome to join me, but I can't promise interesting conversation._ " She'd get used to his accent, she decided, and his grammar wasn't perfect. At least he looked genuinely thrilled, with his bright eyes.

Anna shrugged. " _That's okay._ " She went to the end of the table and sat down. She felt small in these chairs. " _Everyone is busy picking new people for the expedition._ "

He nodded and looked at the mountain of papers on the table. " _Some of these people are more qualified than I am._ "

Anna doubted that, but just smiled in response.

He picked up some sheets stuck together with red paper clips. " _This young lady, for example. From… Wisconsin, I think? She's very smart. Maybe more than me._ "

Anna didn't know where "Wisconsin" was. Judging by the look on his face, he wasn't completely sure, either. But she must have been smart. She'd have to be to go to another galaxy. It didn't go far in explaining why Anna was sitting here. " _I'm not qualified, either._ "

Doctor Beckett smiled kindly at her. " _I have a feeling by the time you're through learning at Atlantis, you'll be more qualified than any of us. With your father teaching you science and math, people like Doctor Brown teaching you things like botany… Doctor Weir will teach you everything you did and didn't want to know about social science._ "

That sounded accurate. Anna half-smiled. It didn't mean she wouldn't be in the way.

" _It will be great…_ " His voice trailed off. Like there was something he wasn't saying?

" _But?_ " Anna pried.

" _Pegasus has its share of…_ " He paused and shrugged. " _I don't want to scare you._ "

" _Radek told me about the Wraith._ "

Doctor Beckett shook his head. " _Terrible creatures._ "

That wasn't exactly something she expected from a doctor. After all, if Anna understood correctly, they were just eating. On the other hand, why were they so sadistic about it? Anna didn't feel that way about hamburgers, after all. In fact, it was unfortunate something had to die.

It seemed like the Wraith liked to kill just as much as they liked to eat.

" _Yeah_ ," Anna said.

" _What… did he tell you?_ " Doctor Beckett asked.

" _They're like vampires that suck out your soul with their hands._ " Doctor Beckett seemed more or less horrified. Anna didn't know whether it was due to her description or the creature she was describing. " _They almost destroyed Atlantis_ ," Anna said. She wasn't sure how close they got. Close enough that Radek sent her one last letter. Probably the most honest letter she'd ever gotten. " _How close were they?_ "

" _Close_ ," he breathed. " _Very close._ "

Anna nodded. " _Radek said the city is safe now._ "

" _As safe as it ever is, I suppose,_ " Doctor Beckett said. He shrugged. " _It turned out to be a bit of a blessing afterward. There are plenty of Wraith bodies for us to study, and—I'm sorry, this isn't appropriate conversation._ " He reddened in embarrassment.

Anna laughed. " _I saw_ Alien."

Doctor Beckett seemed to consider that. " _I'm afraid it's different when it's real._ "

Anna couldn't really argue with that.

#

"And what makes you think you're qualified to teach her, hm?" Doctor McKay asked.

"I realize it doesn't actually say 'doctor' on my uniform, but…"

"Are you kidding? They give out doctorates like candy these days," Doctor McKay interrupted, turning to Anna. "You took placement tests for high school, yes?"

"Yes. Elizabeth said…"

"Good. I'll have to see those." Maybe Doctor McKay just liked to interrupt everyone.

He was a strange-looking sort of guy. Not tall, not short. His brown hair made his head look bigger than it was. Or maybe smaller. Anna finally decided. He was weird in his averageness. But if she was to believe Doctor McKay, his intellect was anything but average. If she was to believe everyone else, his ego went right along with it.

Radek shrugged helplessly. "We can get those for you. And you can help, but…"

"Honestly, Radek, who would be a better teacher than me? What could she possibly want to know that I couldn't, you know, pass on?" He turned right on Anna and leaned down the little bit to be on her level. She wasn't much shorter than him, actually. "If you ask me, we're saving you from the horror show that is the American school system."

"I would take math and science college courses," Anna said.

Radek helped her. "District 11 didn't have anywhere to put her."

Doctor McKay scoffed. "Small favors." He snapped his fingers impatiently, like he was waiting for something to be placed in his hand. "Do you have it or not?"

"No, Rodney, I don't," Radek said. "I didn't think that bringing Anna to show her the lab gave you license to hijack her education."

"Oh, please." Doctor McKay went back to whatever he was doing with his computer.

"Rodney, I was offered a position at university in Brno before coming here, you know," Radek said. "I think I'm qualified."

Anna cast a glance at him. That was much closer to home than the Pegasus galaxy.

"What about your work on Atlantis?" Doctor McKay asked.

"You realize that I can teach and research at once." Radek threw his hands up and interrupted himself. "Never mind. I would be happy to have you help with Anna's education."

Anna looked between Doctor McKay and Radek. Not that she was thrilled with Radek having a personal hand in her science and math classes… but she was fairly sure she couldn't really handle Doctor McKay, either.

"Um _…_ " she said quietly. She was able to follow the conversation pretty closely, but decided quickly she couldn't speak fast enough to be involved. Radek probably wouldn't listen to her anyway.

"You're welcome," Doctor McKay said, presumably to Radek. "When will you have the placement tests?"

Radek rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't know how to read them if you had them," he said.

Doctor McKay scoffed. "Excuse me?"

"When you weren't in another galaxy, you've been locked up at Area 51. Real world application of your skills isn't exactly your… skill," Radek said.

"Real world?" Doctor McKay laughed. "Oh, please, Radek, I've saved Atlantis—and your life in particular—a couple dozen times by now, haven't I?"

"Right, but there's a reason you don't stay on Earth, yes?"

Anna leaned back on the concrete wall and looked at her feet. It sounded like it could go on for quite a bit longer when a lady with blond hair walked in and shouted.

"Guys, guys!" She didn't look exactly happy. "Rodney, I said you could use my lab, not test how soundproof the concrete was. Because it isn't, especially when you leave the door open."

"Yeah, sorry," he said.

She smiled a little.

"Oh, what?" Doctor McKay glared.

"Sorry. It's just the cute way Canadians say 'sorry.' It gets me every time."

"Glad I could entertain you," Doctor McKay hissed and turned back to his computer, his face turning beet red. "Alright, well, Radek, you can forget the test results. I'll administer my own test. As soon as I write it."

"Thank you, Rodney," Radek said, tapping Anna's shoulder for her to follow him. On their way out the door, he muttered, " _Small favors…_ "

* * *

 _A/N: Yeah. I should explain the whole "Carson speaks Czech" thing. So here it is._

 _While doing "research" for Duet, I must have watched the scene during the opening credits about ten-thousand times trying to figure this out. Right after the opening credits, Radek talks to Carson in something that does not sound like English. I chased down my trusted alpha-reader/sounding-board/filter-for-the-horrifically-bad for a second opinion. He went so far as to record that second, remove the background noise, and amplify the voices. We closed our eyes, pressed the headphones to our ears, tried to guess what English it might be, speculated why in the world Carson would understand it if it was Czech, and wished there was a script with this line. The point is, we can't make out any English at all. Thus was born the head-canon "Carson understands and/or speaks Czech." It's either that or they both speak some third language. Which is almost as ridiculous._

 _Then I contemplated whether or not to change anything in this story because of it. And I decided, why not? I_ _t's fun. Note that, though my theory doesn't mean that Carson can speak Czech, for the purposes of this story he can. Because reasons._


	12. Father of Flight

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought.  
_

 _Last time: Introductions, introductions, introductions. All the introductions.  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 12. Father of Flight.**

It was the strangest thing she'd ever felt before. Her first experience with what Radek called "Asgard beaming technology." First she was in one place, then she was in another. It might have been less throwing if she hadn't been bracing herself so much.

She stumbled forward a few steps when they landed.

" _Whoa,_ miláčku, _are you alright?_ " He held his hand out for hers.

A few others in the area they'd landed in reached out to catch her if she fell.

Anna quickly straightened and made sure her hand didn't go anywhere near his. She wasn't a baby. " _I can walk by myself_ ," she said.

"Right, of course. Sorry." Radek straightened and stepped out beside her. "The first step is always the hardest." He was apparently trying to sound reassuring, but it sounded odd coming from him.

Anna looked around and remembered that he had told her that from now on, except when they were alone, she should speak English. She felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment.

"It's pretty disorienting, but do you get used to it. But welcome to the _Daedalus_. The worst is over." She looked up at a man dressed in a chalkboard blue in the same patched pattern. The only difference besides the khaki was his patches and shirt under his jacket was black instead of blue.

Anna was wearing a similar uniform, except her jacket and pants were a very light blue, her shirt bright white. Radek told her that the colors meant things. The blue he wore said he was part of a science team. Black was for military. It was important to wear the uniforms on the _Daedalus_ , so that the regular crew people could tell the Atlantis crew people immediately. And, of course, Anna. She was easy to spot anywhere, not to mention if she somehow got off to some place she didn't belong. Which was almost everywhere.

"You must be Anna," the stranger with the black shirt said. "I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard." He glanced at Radek. "Zelenka. Glad to see you back with us."

"I'm glad to be back. Congratulations on your promotion, Lieutenant Colonel."

He shrugged, but Anna could see he was hiding a smile of pride. "Oh, you know. I needed some more responsibility." He paused, then grinned. "I guess that's the theme of this trip to Earth, huh?"

Radek chuckled.

Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard looked at her with a satisfied nod. "You're gonna love it, kid."

She wanted to believe that. She smiled, maybe a little half-heartedly. "It will be an adventure."

"It will." Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard watched as they walked by him into the adjoining corridor.

In the last month, Anna had gotten used to the tight, concrete spaces of the SGC. She'd forgone school to learn history from an American archaeologist, biology from a Scottish doctor, and science from a Canadian narcissist. If this was how high school was going to finish up for her, she couldn't have been more pleased. Science and chess clubs after the inane chatting during school hours was driving her insane.

And learning that everything she thought was false—at least, many things she thought were false—were actually true was… something. She hadn't decided what it was yet. The Egyptian gods were actually alien parasites? The entire Norse pantheon were little grey men studying humanity for the answer to their cloning problems?

This was the most exciting moment of her life and she was terrified.

She realized too far into their walk down the hall that, while she hadn't taken Radek's offered hand, she also hadn't let her arm get more than an inch away from his. Most of the way she brushed up against his arm like the hallway was far too small to walk side-by-side.

"You'll be sharing a berthing area with Weir, one of the new medical personnel, and a Lieutenant," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard said as he turned into a large room. People were gathered around chatting, and food seemed to be available somewhere since a lot of them were snacking on sandwiches. "Thought it would be best to assign you to the same bunk as someone you already knew."

"Thank you," Radek said. "That sounds good, doesn't it?"

Anna nodded. She searched the crowd for other familiar faces. She saw Doctor Beckett—the medical doctor. There were lots of doctors around here who didn't know the first thing about medicine and even less about bedside manner. Radek included.

"Yes," Anna answered. She didn't want to say how not-good that actually sounded. Sure, she had known many of these people for a month. A whole month. She wasn't ready to share a room with any of them on the other side of the ship from Radek.

She must have hidden her anxiety well because he didn't react to anything but the word she said. "It's a long trip. You'll probably have time to continue studying with Doctor Beckett."

"What about you and Doctor McKay?" Anna asked. "Will I see you?"

"Of course, you'll see me. But I'll be working with Rodney on the Asgard systems."

"Speaking of Asgard," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard broke in, "maybe you and I could sneak into engineering to see what one of them looks like in the flesh." He winked at her. "They don't usually let me in there. But if I was giving a tour…"

"You'd still be getting in the way." Doctor McKay broke in on the conversation, Doctor Beckett at his heels.

Anna had learned in her short time at the SGC that, even though Radek was fairly unique in his ability to withstand Doctor McKay's ego, Doctor Beckett seemed to somehow appreciate it. On the other hand, Doctor Beckett seemed to appreciate everyone.

Anna smiled a little. "Doctor Jackson told me there was an alien on this ship."

"Has a comparatively bad attitude, from what I'm told," Doctor McKay mused.

"That surprises me," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard said. "I've heard that the _Daedalus'_ engineers are considerably easier to work with." He gave Doctor McKay a pointed glare. Radek grinned.

"Every time anyone says anything, he mutters what I'm sure are Asgard obscenities," Doctor McKay said. "Kind of like you, Zelenka."

"I don't speak Asgard," Radek answered.

"Very funny. I've learned more colorful language in Czech than I ever knew in English. I guess you'll have to watch your tongue now that there are little ears running around, hm?" Doctor McKay said.

"I'm fifteen…" Anna muttered.

"Maybe it's you, Rodney," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard suggested. "A magnet for obscenities."

Radek seemed to agree with that theory, but he didn't say anything about it.

Anna lost track of the conversation, then. Radek and Doctor McKay started talking about something to do with engineering and control crystals. Doctor Beckett excused himself when a group of new medical personnel walked into the mess hall. Only she and Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard stood alone without anyone else to talk to.

"You're excited, right?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "Also nervous. Radek told me that the Pegasus galaxy is dangerous and I've never really been anywhere very dangerous before."

"I would have been stoked to be on a spaceship when I was fifteen," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard said. "And you—I mean, if we're to believe everything Zelenka says about you, you're a chip off the ol' block."

Anna wasn't sure what he was saying. "I'm what?"

"Like your dad," he explained.

She nodded, smiling a little. "That doesn't make me excited," she said. "I know many awful ways to die on a spaceship. That makes me scared. Especially since this ship's name is _Daedalus_."

"Is that bad? It's not like the _Titanic_."

"No…" she agreed tentatively. It wasn't quite. "Daedalus was the man who designed wings for his son Icarus to fly. You know how that went?" Daedalus' son Icarus flew out over the ocean too close to the sun, only to tumble into the waves and drown.

"You've been talking to Doctor Jackson," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard said with a grin.

Anna smiled.

"Here's what I think is exciting," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard said, leaning closer to her. "Sure, our ship may be named after something with a sort of terrifying legacy. We live in a city known the world over for sinking into the ocean."

"How is that exciting?" she asked. It might have been exciting. More likely it was tempting fate.

"It means we get to write our own legends."

#

" _Take a left_."

On Radek's direction, Anna swung into the open room. It wasn't Engineering's view screen or the giant window on the Bridge, but it was spectacular nonetheless. He stepped up next to Anna, watching her lean forward to look out the window.

She took a deep breath, smiled. " _Huh. Wow._ "

" _Isn't it something?_ "

Anna nodded, pressing her hands up against the window. Soon her forehead leaned against the pane. Earth spun along just below them. Any minute now, the hyperdrive would fire up. Seconds after that, Earth would be so far away it would take a lifetime to get back without the help of a Stargate or the _Daedalus_.

" _It's like a movie_ ," she said. She glanced at him. " _Like_ Alien."

Radek chuckled. " _Well, I hope not._ "

She turned back to look out the window. The _Daedalus_ usually stayed in synchronis orbit with the United States, more or less directly over the Rocky Mountains. Not that it mattered much with the Asgard beam, allowing travel almost anywhere on the whole planet. Still, it would be embarrassing if someone with a particularly powerful telescope in Albania or something noticed their spaceship looking down at them.

Did people on Earth look up often enough?

No one here looked down at Earth anymore.

Radek noticed that, walking the bridge with Rodney, doing some last minute checks. No one seemed to take even half a moment to look at Earth. Wasn't it odd, they were above it in a spaceship? Or was Anna the only one who appreciated how truly fantastical it was? Radek didn't think it was all that interesting. Of course, this was his first time on the _Daedalus_. But he'd been to another galaxy.

Why did that make a spaceship common place?

" _What does the hyperdrive look like_?" Anna asked.

" _Oh, you mean the machine? Or when we're traveling?_ "

Anna giggled. " _Yes. Both_."

" _I will show you the machine someday. Someday soon. Outside, the speed at which we're traveling should make everything look, um, slow… and blue_."

" _Should?_ "

Radek shrugged, smiled. " _This is my first time on the_ Daedalus _, too._ "

She looked a little shocked. " _You've never been on a spaceship_."

" _No, I've been on a spaceship. Just not this one_." Atlantis was technically a spaceship, but better leave that for latter. Puddle Jumpers were perfectly capable of space-travel. Not very long space-travel, but they certainly counted. He'd logged more than his fair share on the rear bench. Or standing on a step stool right next to it. He was too short to reach the control crystal panel otherwise.

" _There is more than one spaceship?_ "

" _Well, of course, there are many alien spaceships._ Daedalus _is not even the first spaceship of Earth. The first one was lost, unfortunately._ " Too late, he realized that was probably not the thing to say now that they were safely and securely stuck. It was far too late to turn back now, so no reason to scare her. Even if there was legitimate reason to be afraid… " _But that was extraordinary circumstances. They are very sturdy ships._ "

He glanced at Anna. She didn't seem to really take the danger to heart. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or not.

Radek felt the _Daedalus_ engines kick on, putting a hum into the floor. He touched Anna's shoulder and pointed at the floor. " _Feel that?_ "

Anna looked straight ahead, obviously not concentrating on what she was seeing. A moment later she looked at him. Smiled. " _What is it?_ "

" _It's the engines_." He swelled with pride. He'd talked to a few of the other crew people about what flight felt like. Some of them said they couldn't tell the difference between when the hyperdrive was active and when it wasn't. He was pleased be was one of those who could feel it. Anna could, too.

Just in time, he pointed beyond the pane in the hull.

The stars blurred and spun, stretching across space. The light turned blue.

" _Goodbye, Earth_ ," Anna whispered.

Goodbye, Earth.

Radek wondered when he would be back next. Perhaps Atlantis would last for years, and he'd get to stay. Perhaps it would be over before anyone was really ready for it to be. There was plenty of discovering to do in the meantime.

And not just for him. Anna's smile seemed almost involuntary as she watched the blue stars streak by. She was in for plenty discovery of her own.

It was just up to him, now, to not miss it.

* * *

 _Next time: I don't know how it works in your family... but I also don't know how it works in my family._


	13. New Start

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: Zelenka and friends are on the_ Daedalus _now. Next stop, Atlantis! For real this time! Kinda. We all know what kind of terrible things happen between one galaxy and another...  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 13. New Start.**

" _Good night_." Her voice failed her for some reason. It proved she was more scared than she thought she was.

He probably heard the tremor in her voice, but didn't know what to do about it. He put his hand on her shoulder, however awkwardly he went about it. " _Good night_ , malá. _I will see you at breakfast_." He gave her shoulder a squeeze and walked off down the corridor to his own berthing.

Anna took a deep breath and backed up into the empty room. All but one of the four bunks in the small room had been claimed by jackets or knapsacks. The only one left was on the right side of the room, top bunk. She climbed up and stretched out on the small mattress. It wasn't incredibly comfortable, but not uncomfortable, either. She could handle this for three weeks. Eighteen days, actually.

Basically three weeks.

She rolled over on her back and stared at the gray ceiling. She couldn't handle this.

This was what she wanted. She could have stayed on Earth in Colorado Springs. But, no. She jumped on board at the first sign of another galaxy. For lack of a better term: starry-eyed. What was she doing this for?

For him?

What had he ever done for her, really? He sent her a music book once. He held her small, shaking hand on a Ferris wheel. He sent cards and letters, infrequently. And then he left for another galaxy without so much as a goodbye.

He could have died. He would have died had only a few things been not so different.

Anna was glad that he'd survived, of course. He was all she had left. And trying to imagine this situation reversed was pointless. She knew her mother so much better than Radek. She knew she wouldn't have cared nearly as much had he died in his siege, and she survived her cancer.

She just wanted máma back. She would trade any of this for her in a moment. Anything at all.

She felt guilty thinking that. But she also felt empty, and the former was far better than the latter.

The door cranked open again, this time admitting entrance to two women. Anna recognized Elizabeth immediately. She turned onto her stomach to get a good look at the other woman, a small blond wearing the same yellow jacket as Doctor Beckett.

"Eighteen days to go," Elizabeth sighed. She glanced up at Anna. "Sorry; did we wake you?"

"No," Anna answered. "I was awake. I couldn't sleep."

"First night on a spaceship does that to people," she said with a smile. Then she turned to the one who followed her in the room. "Doctor Jennifer Keller, this is Anna Zelenková, Radek Zelenka's daughter." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Anna as if to ask if she got it right.

"Nice to meet you, Doctor Keller," Anna said.

"Nice to meet you, too, Anna," she said. "And you can call me Jennifer."

"Jennifer," Anna repeated.

Jennifer looked around at the ceiling and the walls, almost like she was afraid of them. "This is my first night on a space ship, too. I can think of a few other places I'd rather spend the night. Knowing there's a hard vacuum only a few hundred feet away isn't exactly comforting."

Anna smiled weakly. That had very little to do with why she couldn't sleep, but thank you very much for bringing it up… She hung off the side of the bunk and watched Elizabeth and Jennifer put away their things.

"Radek said there's nothing to worry about," Anna offered. "The _Daedalus_ is pretty new. It works well even in battle."

"I think he would be one to know," Jennifer said. She smiled up at her. "It's pretty brave to leave Earth for another galaxy."

"Maybe," Anna said. She hadn't decided if it was brave or stupid.

"There won't be any battle situations before we get to Atlantis," Elizabeth said. "So I think we should be good."

Though pitched space battles certainly made for good film, Anna couldn't imagine being in the middle of one without losing her mind. There were so many awful ways to die in a battle in the first place, never mind the hard vacuum a couple hundred feet away, like Jennifer mentioned…

"So you're new to Atlantis, too," Anna said to Jennifer.

She nodded, pausing only long enough to give Anna the impression that she wasn't entirely sure she was cut out for this. "Yep. Everything will be new," she said. "You're lucky. I wish I could have some family with me. Someone familiar."

Familiar… Radek was familiar, but that meant almost nothing.

It had already started, everything that her mother hated about Radek. He worked all the time, taking breaks for coffee and meals. She guessed he had to sleep sometimes, too, but she didn't know when. He was awake long after she was asleep, and up before her every day. He also shared what he was doing with Anna, everything she would understand and some things she wouldn't. She devoured the science texts he'd bought her before they left.

It didn't help. She had no idea what he was talking about.

"Me, too," Anna mumbled.

Jennifer paused what she was doing and looked up at her. She looked apologetic. "Doctor Weir told me about your mom. Well, what she knew anyway. I'm sorry."

Anna crossed her arms under her chin. "It was very fast," she said. "She was very sick, but only for a short time." It could have been worse. She wasn't sure how, but she liked to tell herself that.

"My mom died when I was young, too," Jennifer said quietly. "So it was just me and my dad."

"How was that?" Anna asked.

"Well, I wasn't very good at making friends when I was young." Jennifer smiled. "So my dad is pretty much my best friend."

Sounded about right. Except that last part. Anna nodded and pulled herself back up all the way into her bunk. She would never be friends with him. She was sure of it. He was too absorbed in his work. "I don't know Radek well," she said finally. "He and... my mom split up when I was eight."

"Was that hard?" Jennifer asked. She hesitated. "I guess that's a stupid question. Sorry."

Anna shook her head. "It's not stupid. It was… I mostly only remember the good things. But they fought a lot. He was never home and that made her angry." She didn't know why she was explaining this to this woman she just met… But Jennifer seemed trustworthy… and like her in a way. She wasn't sure how.

"Did he visit?" Jennifer asked hopefully.

"She didn't want him to…" And she apologized for that in the hospital. At the time, it was beginning to look like Radek might never come. Anna just hoped she didn't regret it too sorely, keeping Radek away. She looked down at her hands and wished her tears away.

Fortunately, Jennifer and Elizabeth were too busy with their things to notice.

"I'm still a little shocked that Radek was married at all," Elizabeth spoke up into the silence.

Jennifer laughed. "Why?"

"Well, for one thing he never mentioned it," Elizabeth said. "The majority of the Atlantis expedition don't have any immediate family besides parents and siblings. He never gave anyone reason to suspect differently."

That sounded like Radek—from what she knew about him, anyway. "Work is very important to him," Anna said. "That's going to be the hardest thing."

She watched Elizabeth and Jennifer exchange concerned glances.

They didn't understand. She didn't understand, either. "I may have lived with Radek a long time ago, but things are different now," Anna explained at their less-than-enthused looks. They shouldn't get the wrong idea… she wasn't sure what the right idea was. But she knew the wrong idea: Radek wasn't neglectful. Just forgetful. There was a big difference. "We're a new family."

"That's a good way to look at it," Elizabeth allowed.

"Get a clean start," Jennifer said with a nod. "I like that."

No better place to do that than a new galaxy, too.

#

Radek put his bag under the top bunk's mattress, huffing in irritation. In reality, the top and bottom bunks, right and left side, were completely equal in every way, from the lack of head room to the teeny storage space under the mattress boards. There was more room on a submarine.

Though, there was some disparity in the desirability of bunk real estate. The bottom bunks were the first to go. Was there really any difference in whether he was on the right side of the room or left?

"Ah. Of course."

Radek shut his eyes just so no one could see them turn toward the ceiling. If Rodney was on the left side of the room, maybe it did matter. Of course, Rodney had the left bunk.

"Do you snore?"

Radek turned on Rodney, sure to share his lack of amusement in the most terrible glare he could muster. "I've never gotten a complaint."

Rodney nodded, a finger rattling just next to his arm. "Right. Stupid question."

Radek reached up to hoist himself up onto the flat mattress.

"When was the last time you possibly could have gotten a complaint?" Rodney continued, kneeling to stow his small bag under the mattress board.

His feet slammed back onto the floor, and he bit his tongue. " _Do not start this again, not this soon…_ " He didn't doubt that Rodney made out every whispered word of that as he clambered up and rolled onto his back. The ceiling seemed mere inches from his nose.

He counted the number of times he'd had to share a room with his fellow scientists, and any time he might have fallen asleep in the lab. That was probably where he'd done most of his sleeping recently, anyway.

The apartment in southern Colorado Springs was the best nights' sleep he'd had in ages. Quiet. Comfortable. The only source of work anxiety had been his cell phone, and once he lost that in the couch pillows. It was easily the most relaxing forty-five minutes of his recent life… until he realized he couldn't find it. Those were among the most stressful ten minutes of his recent life. Fortunately, no messages.

Before that, well… no need to get into that. The point was, he was sure any number of people could have complained about snoring. No one confronted him about it.

Why in heaven's name was he so concerned about this?

He cast a quick glance to the other side of the room. Both new scientists, though it was impossible to tell what kind. One of them had his Finnish flag patch prominently displayed in his laundry. The other guy was probably British. Or maybe Australian…? Radek was terrible with accented English. Could have been from the US or Canada—Radek wouldn't know.

"Ah. There." Radek heard Rodney pat the mattress several times. He sighed loudly as he stretched out on it.

"Will you be doing that all night?" Radek asked.

The new kid, Finnish and a scientist of some kind, interrupted anything Rodney might have said in response. "Erik Halla, Doctor Erik Halla."

"Radek Zelenka."

"You are Czech?"

Radek wondered what his first clue was—the fact they could probably barely understand each other or the Czech flag located brazenly on his shoulder. "Yes."

"The one with the daughter."

Radek took a breath and held it. "Yes. I am." Was that how he was going to be known now? The scientist that somehow made it onto Atlantis with a child in tow? It seemed unfair to call Anna a child. But it also seemed unfair to reduce Radek's accomplishments of the past years, the nearly ground-breaking advancements, to one thing.

"She didn't have anywhere else to go. My ex-wife died earlier this year," Radek explained. Why he was explaining was anyone's guess.

"My ex wouldn't give me the pleasure," the other scientist joked.

Erik Halla had the decency to at least looked confused as he ducked into the bottom bunk on the other side of the room. Rodney sort of looked disgusted.

Radek didn't know how to repond to that properly when he turned to face him. Whoever he was. Hopefully, it would never be important. He could be an anthropologist, and Rodney would mock him until the end of the expedition, because, in Rodney's words, "Oh, is that what passes for 'science' these days?"

"And you are?"

"Craig Jones."

Noted. Radek clamored up onto the top bunk over Rodney, listening to his near-constant shifting and sighing. He had a special mattress pad brought on board. A prescription mattress, which Radek had no idea existed until early this afternoon.

Radek didn't pray, but tonight he did: everyone stop talking and go to sleep. Especially Craig Jones. It was one thing to be angry at his ex-wife—and Radek might have been angry. Maybe. Five years ago. He didn't remember whether he was or not. But he never hated her. Never really hated anyone, and certainly not her. Even Rodney, for all the times Radek feigned wishing his death, he never meant it. Not _really_ , anyway.

And now, if for Anna's sake alone, he wouldn't be angry. Anna missed her.

After all, he missed her once, too.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Malá = little or small

* * *

 _Next time: It's time to decide what's really important. There will be a test later._


	14. Prime

_To linda: Indeed! I add a new chapter every Friday. Thank you ever so much for continuing to read! I'm very glad that you're still enjoying it. Literally made my day to see you think it's wonderful. Thanks for the review, and I hope you like this chapter as well. ;)_

 _Last time: The_ Daedalus _is pretty sweet, right? So, next stop, Atlantis!_

* * *

 **Chapter 14. Prime.**

"Hm. 113." Radek looked up with a smile from his breakfast.

It was a week into the _Daedalus_ trip and Anna was losing her mind with boredom. It was like boredom and homework were having a competition to see which could kill her faster. Either that or Radek's haphazard comments and embarrassing attempts at small-talk.

The random-number thing, though. That was new.

"Prime or not prime?"

Anna thought for a long, long moment. "What?"

"Oh, please." Anna glanced to see Doctor McKay two tables down, alone with his breakfast. "Why didn't you just start with seven if you were gonna insult the girl's intelligence?" Radek shot him a look that clearly said to keep out of it, but Doctor McKay was having none of that. "Prime. 3531."

Radek sighed and looked at Anna. "It's a game that we play to pass time." He glanced at Doctor McKay. "Not prime. One of us says a number, like 1779, and the other says whether it's a prime number or not."

"Not prime," Doctor McKay said. "5399."

"Prime." Radek looked right at Anna. "491?"

"Prime," Anna answered. She tried to remember why she thought it was a good idea to memorize all the prime numbers up to five-hundred. It seemed like a fun thing to do at the time, waiting for the conductor to finish lecturing the cello section. "315." She should have thought that one through. That one was so easy her cousin could figure it out.

Still, Radek smiled obligingly. Maybe he was glad she was playing along. "Not prime. 3313."

"Prime," Doctor McKay spoke up. "6013."

"Not prime," Radek said. "3207."

Everyone in the mess hall seemed to fall deathly silent. Even Doctor McKay was quiet, waiting for her to answer. Would he be disappointed if she just guessed? "Not prime?" she said. She hadn't meant to make it sound so much like a question.

"Congratulations, you're better than most of the military personnel already," Doctor McKay said.

"But it's not a guessing game to you," Anna said quietly. She spent the next few rounds of numbers trying to figure patterns in the numbers they chose. She knew well enough there was no apparent pattern to actual prime numbers. But they were choosing numbers themselves. Numbers they knew were prime or not prime. There was a pattern to their knowledge and choosing, wasn't there?

"You know, one time Ford guessed 4692 wrong?" Doctor McKay asked wistfully a second later.

Radek smiled, but didn't get a chance to answer.

"Ford?" Anna asked.

"Ah, Aiden Ford," Doctor McKay said. "A member of one of the offworld teams on Atlantis. My team, actually." He grimaced, like he was remembering something unpleasant. Something sad.

"He was probably just trying to get you to be quiet," Radek offered.

From the sudden tone of the conversation, Anna could only imagine this Ford was dead or otherwise gone now. "What happened to him?" Anna asked.

Radek sighed, shook his head like he knew questions like this would be coming and the last thing he wanted to do was answer them. "I told you about the siege of Atlantis," he said. "The Wraith made it onto the city. Ford was one of the military personnel defending the city, and a Wraith got to him."

"He's not dead." Doctor McKay looked between Radek and Anna. Anna didn't know what she looked like, but Radek looked apologetic. "He's not," Doctor McKay insisted. "When the Wraith feed on, well, um, humans, they release an enzyme into the human body that makes it—"

"Rodney," Radek interrupted. "2423."

"Anyway, it kept him alive," Doctor McKay skipped ahead, looking at Anna to tell his story since Radek didn't seem to be interested. "But he became addicted to the stuff."

"Addicted?" Anna asked, glancing at Radek.

Radek sighed. "Závislý," * he translated, still glaring at Doctor McKay.

Doctor McKay didn't seem to take notice. "The Wraith enzyme makes the human body stronger, to-to facilitate the, um, feeding process. But it apparently does something to the mind, makes them unable to see reason."

Anna nodded slowly. Like amped-up steroids, maybe? Not that she had any experience. She had only heard stories… read teenage crime novels.

"I guess the moral of the story is, don't do drugs, kids."

Anna smirked. She guessed there was even littler chance of that happening on Atlantis than there was at home. "Don't worry," she said to Radek. "No Wraith enzyme."

"I feel better already," Radek said sarcastically.

As much as Anna was interested in continuing the talk about the Wraith enzyme, it didn't seem to be among the subjects Radek was comfortable talking about. So she looked at Radek. "Prime." At Radek's confused look, she reminded him, "2423. It's prime?"

"Ah." Radek nodded. "Yes."

Her turn to come up with a number. She had already decided she could try any old number. She could probably trust Doctor McKay and Radek's answers. "1571."

Doctor McKay arched an eyebrow. "Prime."

Anna shrugged. "I just picked a number." A number that wasn't even, didn't end in a five, and wasn't divisible by three or nine. She decided not to say that part. She figured she had the easy stuff covered if it wasn't divisible by those things.

She didn't know how low the odds were of her picking a prime number at random.

"Fair enough." With that, Doctor McKay stood up and looked at Radek. "I need you to come to Engineering as soon as you get a minute."

"It's my day off, Rodney." Radek looked up slowly at Doctor McKay, casting a glance at Anna for just a moment.

"It will just be a few minutes," Doctor McKay said.

Radek looked conflicted.

He was probably feeling guilty. He had barely seen her on Earth, but she shrugged that off. After all, getting ready to go to another galaxy seemed like a lot of work. She could shrug this off, too. There was a lot of work to be done on a space ship. It was for the best, anyway. What were they going to do? Play Prime/Not-Prime all day?

No. Anna knew the ranking of importance in Radek's mind, even if Radek didn't know. Even if Radek was lying to himself, trying to be something he wasn't. Work came first. Work always came first. There were times when he tried to convince himself that it didn't, when he tried to convince himself something else was more important. Anna knew the truth.

"I can do some homework with Doctor Beckett," Anna offered.

A huge sigh. "It's your day off, too," Radek said.

"The _Daedalus_ doesn't get a day off," Anna said.

"There, listen to the girl," Doctor McKay said. "It's important. It will only be a few minutes."

Radek seemed to consider that. Anna watched him. It's important. It would always be important, wouldn't it? Whether a spaceship or an alien city. Minutes would always stretch into hours.

"You have five minutes, Rodney," Radek scolded, and rose from his chair to go with him. He glanced at Anna. "I will be right back."

Anna nodded, but she knew what would actually happen. "Don't worry. If it's important…"

"This is important." Radek followed Doctor McKay through the mess hall and disappeared through the door.

Anna looked toward the window into hyperspace. Radek didn't know what he thought was important. Anna was sure everyone else did. Prime numbers and spaceship engines.

#

"Do prdele!" **

Anna blushed and looked up. Then she remembered she was the only one in the room who spoke Czech. She'd been whispering. Still, even if they did, it wasn't as if this was the worst thing she'd ever said. Radek wouldn't appreciate her… advanced vocabulary. He seemed intent on treating her about seven years old. Anna didn't remember when she'd discovered vulgarity, but it was certainly sometime after he was gone.

She wondered how many of his colleagues would be surprised to learn that.

Elizabeth seemed to guess what she meant, looking up from her book. She didn't seem upset. She seemed amused. "I've been, honestly, a little nervous to ask what that means. Radek isn't beyond cursing in Czech. Although, for all I know, he could be talking about oxen and ostriches."

Anna pursed her lips. "I don't know the words for English." With reason, her vocabulary for swearing-English wasn't great. She knew how to say _conduit_ , _coupling_ , and _power transfer station_ , though. Maybe that counted? "It's not friendly."

Elizabeth chuckled. "I assumed that. What's wrong?"

Anna sighed and tried to arrange her English. She was getting really tired of it. English was a necessity more than ninety percent of the time. She didn't have words for ninety percent of what she wanted to say. A simple conversation about the food available in the _Daedalus_ mess hall made her feel like a stupid child. But she couldn't articulate that, because the majority of her vocabulary involved a myriad of useless scientific and musical terms, as well as a handful of general conversation items.

No one talked about the weather in space.

"Nothing."

"As in it's too hard to explain?" Elizabeth guessed. She set her book aside and turned her full attention on Anna. "Give it a try. I'm not fluent in Czech, but I do know quite a bit."

Anna looked at the paper and her broken pencil tip. She didn't need English for that. She rolled the pencil toward Elizabeth, looking sheepish.

Elizabeth smiled, but obviously didn't buy it. "It's something a little more than that, isn't it?"

"I don't know," Anna said. She hoped that Elizabeth understood her to mean she didn't know how to say what she wanted to. Not that she was unsure what was wrong. She knew exactly what was wrong.

She wasn't smart enough for this. Her homework assignments had barely started, and she hadn't felt this incompetent since preschool. Even if she was getting one-quarter of this science right, her English was horrific. On the off chance that she was understanding an even more unimpressive fraction of what Doctor McKay was saying, there was no way she was even applying it correctly.

The Pegasus galaxy only had room for Earth's most brilliant and brave.

"Everyone…" Anna sighed and thought through her words. "Everyone is so smart."

"Here?" Elizabeth nodded her agreement. "Yes, that's true. Is that a bad thing?"

"Jak jsem tady _…?_ " *** Anna looked around hopelessly. "I'm sorry. English, English. All the English. Do you speak any other languages?"

"French. German. Spanish." Elizabeth, for some reason, looked like she might know French. Radek told her that Elizabeth used to be a diplomat. Anna figured that was where she learned her handful of Czech words and phrases. Some of the weirdest words, too, like _accord_ and _ceasefire_. "I know a smattering of Russian," Elizabeth went on, "but nothing to boast about."

"I can understand most of what I hear, and I know many, many words," Anna said. "But I am so tired. It's very hard to have to always think about what I want to say. It was easier, but it's suddenly so hard again."

That made absolutely no sense to her, either. It was like all the progress she'd made in Colorado Springs had been deleted from her brain. It might have had something to do with her first English paper Elizabeth requested she write.

It wasn't even about anything important. Elizabeth wanted to keep it familiar. She wanted Anna to write about her home, a vacation she took. She decided to write about Prague. Old buildings. The city always looked brown to her.

Writing about colors and other simple nouns was about as elementary as it got. "I'm not like… not smart enough for this."

"Smart enough?" Elizabeth frowned, her disagreement as plain as if she'd spelled it out. "I think you aren't giving yourself enough credit. You are a very intelligent young lady, Anna."

Anna picked up her sheet of paper. At least her handwriting looked like she'd been practicing for over ten years now. "All I can write about is blue sky and sidewalks." She flicked the page back onto the table.

"Writing in a foreign language is hard." Elizabeth paused. "Besides, isn't English your third?"

Anna nodded a little. She didn't know if she'd call herself fluent in German, but she was certainly more comfortable with it. Americans had enough trouble with their own language, much less a second or third. It wasn't that, though. "I don't understand anything Doctor McKay is trying to teach me…"

She didn't mean to speak so quietly. Still, Elizabeth dragged her chair closer to Anna's and put her hand on the table next to Anna's page. "You don't understand right now," she said.

Anna shook her head. Elizabeth couldn't possibly understand what it meant, to know that she would never know something. Anna was in a spaceship, surrounded by things so wonderful and strange, and the handful of people who understood how it worked. Anna never thought the world was within her reach. It wasn't practical.

So why should she think any differently of a spaceship?

"Listen to me, Anna. No one is born knowing these things." Elizabeth picked up the pencil and the bit of broken lead. "And you're fifteen years old. I think it's a little early to be comparing yourself to someone like Doctor McKay."

"He's so…" Anna paused, smiling a little at Elizabeth. "Condescending?"

Elizabeth laughed. "He's that way with everyone." She smiled softly. "You the daughter of one of the smartest physicists Earth had to offer. You may not be there now, but you will grow into that."

"Radek is smart, isn't he?" Anna was glad, not for the first time, that she was his daughter. However incompetent he was at starting a conversation, or even keeping one going, he did have almost anything analytical on his side.

Unfortunately, relationships were rarely analytical.

"Yes," Elizabeth answered. "And I think you'll be surprised how very much you're like him."

Anna didn't know what to think of that. On Earth, Radek didn't fit in. Was that what Anna wanted? On the other hand, in the Pegasus galaxy—or, rather, partway between two galaxies—he fit in perfectly fine.

Anna wasn't sure which world she wanted more, not sure which one was more important.

"These things take time," Elizabeth finished. "Now, in the meantime…" She pulled a pen from a little slot on her tablet's case. "I've heard this works in zero-gravity."

"Mine, too," Anna joked, taking the pen. It was blue, with the letters NASA on it. "Until it broke."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Courtesy of Google, of course. Dependent.

** Do prdele = according to the Stargate Wiki: a vulgar (yet common) expression of anger and frustration. It literally means, "into the ass," and is used in situations where an English speaker would use either the 'S-word' or the 'F-word.'

*** Jak jsem tady? = How am I here?

* * *

 _Next time: Why would I be scared of the dark? There are only a thousand-and-one reasons to be._


	15. Sleeping

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought.  
_

 _To linda: Yes, I can't imagine what it would be like, either. Well, I can a little bit, since I know people who do. Some of Anna's reaction is based on some of that._

 _Last time: It's a long trip, okay? We will get to Atlantis eventually. I swear._

* * *

 **Chapter 15. Sleeping.**

"What are you doing up, dear?"

Doctor Beckett called almost everyone "dear," or some other pet name of similar tone. Anna sort of hated it at first, but she got used to it after the first few weeks of meeting with him to study.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" He swung around in his chair to peer at the computer screen near him and then checked his wristwatch. "It's quite late." It explained why he was dressed pretty casually, without a doctor's coat or his Atlantis jacket. His shirt was white instead of the usual yellow or blue.

"I couldn't sleep," Anna said. "So I thought I should do something constructive and study some more." All of the time spent with Doctor Beckett had taught her two things. First, her enjoyment of a subject depended almost entirely on the teacher. Second, she couldn't imagine forming long-term career goals based on molecular biology.

"I see." Doctor Beckett seemed to consider her words. Then he grinned. "I'm not sure whether to commend your priorities or scold you for endangering your health with lack of sleep. What's got you up?" he asked.

"We'll be at Atlantis in two days, won't we?" she asked.

"Yes," Doctor Beckett answered. "But we'll get there faster if you sleep."

Anna ignored his potentially patronizing premise and pulled a rolling stool over from next to the wall. "What is it like?" she asked. She felt like she'd asked this question of a dozen people already, and every answer was different. "Atlantis?"

To Rodney, it was an opponent to be challenged and bested. He'd find out all its secrets or die trying. Except he wouldn't die. He was apparently pretty good at avoiding that kind of thing in just the nick of time. And every time he did that, it was Rodney, one; Atlantis, zero.

To Radek, it was a mystery to be explored and discovered. He most enjoyed the puddle jumpers, but honestly who wouldn't find those interesting? He wanted to know everything about them and how they ticked, but just for the sake of knowing. That it might save lives one day was a bonus.

"It's honestly pretty terrifying," Doctor Beckett said finally. "I don't mean to put you off Atlantis, but it scares the living daylights out of me more often than not. Every time I turn around, something else has gone wrong."

Anna chuckled. "You sound like Doctor McKay."

"Hey, now, no need to be insulting," Doctor Beckett said jokingly.

They were interrupted when an airman ran into the room. "Doctor Beckett!" he said, not even a bit out of breath. "There's an emergency."

Doctor Beckett stood, grabbing a small pack from the desk next to his. "What is it?"

"Doctor Monroe's been injured," the airman said. "It sounded like he'd been shocked by an instrument panel, but he hasn't responded."

Doctor Beckett motioned to a small black bag next to Anna and said, "Could you get that, love?" He left the room, yelling at the airman, "Lead the way."

Anna picked up the bag and followed. Doctor Beckett's hustle forced the airman to a jog. Anna kept up easily until they reached a corridor she didn't remember being in before. It looked like most other corridors, except for the man lying on the floor in the middle of a host of panels. It looked like he was maybe taking a nap, but it was not a great place for that kind of thing.

Anna put down the black bag next to Doctor Beckett and rounded the panel she assumed the man must have been looking at. She understood this better than the man lying on the ground. Doctor Beckett understood people on the floor, and Anna understood this. She clasped her hands behind her back, carefully not touching it.

Doctor Beckett was in the middle of his examination when Doctor McKay and Radek showed up.

"What happened here?" Doctor McKay demanded.

He moved Anna aside like she was a table in his way. Just grabbed her shoulders and moved her to one side. He looked at the panel she was looking at.

" _Anna, what are you doing here?_ " Radek asked.

" _I couldn't sleep_ ," she answered. " _I was just with Doctor Beckett. Studying_."

He looked neither pleased nor satisfied by that answer, but he went to help Rodney. Anna hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary, but she only knew what ordinary panels looked like. And, judging by the junctions in this room, it didn't have enough power to electrocute someone to death anyway.

Still, she kept her hands securely out of reach from the walls.

Just one of the dozen pleasant ways to die on a spaceship…

He was probably fine, though. Everyone said Doctor Beckett was the best doctor in two galaxies.

"Doctor Monroe…" she heard Elizabeth say behind her. "What happened?"

Doctor Beckett leaned back on his heels and shook his head. "I don't know, but he's dead."

Everyone looked up at that proclamation, and Anna spun around to look at the man on the ground. _Dead_. She leaned closer to look. He was wearing the green _Daedalus_ jumpsuit. Probably just doing something routine. _Dead_. He looked like everyone else in the room, for the most part, except that he wasn't.

This wasn't the kind of death Anna knew. She knew white as a sheet, pale, shaking hands. A wan smile trying to convince her everything was alright. She knew death that let go of her hand after fighting for so long, waiting for someone who would never come. Death that wanted to say "I love you" just one more time.

This wasn't like that at all. This was quick. This was young. Unfair. This could be anyone. This was alone.

Radek stepped behind her. " _Go to bed,_ malá," he said.

She wrenched away from his grip on her arm. " _Stop calling me that_ ," she hissed.

" _Fine, but go to bed,_ " he said.

" _What's happening?_ " she whispered as he forced her to walk down the hall away from the dead man and the gathering around him.

" _I don't know yet,_ " he said. He sounded annoyed. Probably thought that he'd be one step closer to finding out what happened if she hadn't the nerve to be up at this time of night.

He gave her a gentle shove in the direction of her room. She figured she had to speak fast if she wanted to speak at all. " _There isn't enough in those panels to kill someone_ ," she said. At his surprise, she decided just to go on. Doctor Optrican had been pretty irritated at having to "entertain" Anna, but she listened to every word he said anyway. " _I recognize those junctions. Doctor Optrican showed me while he was working on the grid._ "

" _I'll look_."

" _Is it bad?_ " she asked. People didn't just die, did they? Even on a spaceship?

"Anna." There was a scolding tone to his voice. She almost wished he'd called her _Little_.

It was bad. Of course, it was. A man was dead. " _I'll go back to bed_."

She traced her way back to the infirmary and then to her room where the lieutenant slept more-or-less soundly. Her breathing was even, but Anna swore the lieutenant watched her with one eye when she wasn't looking. She climbed into her bunk and stared at the ceiling.

So much for sleeping tonight…

So much for Atlantis the day after tomorrow.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Malá = Little.

* * *

 _A/N: Alright, so in the upcoming chapters, I use a lot of episode dialogue, especially since Anna isn't really involved in a lot of what's going on. There's no reason for it to change. However, this is her first big adventure. Can't leave it out._

 _Oh, but Radek's here._

 _Also. Um. Sorry this was so short._

 _Next time: I don't think you bought a ticket._


	16. Stowaway

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought.  
_

 _Not enough Radek last chapter. Here, this is better._

 _Last time: A guy died on the way to Atlantis! So, still on the way to Atlantis.  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 16. Stowaway.**

Radek regretted not going to bed when he had the chance. This was looking like a long night. But Anna was right. These conduits didn't carry "enough juice" as Caldwell put it. Even as he swelled with pride that Anna identified that so quickly after Optrican's glossing over power junctions, he shrank at the possibility that this was more than a simple malfunction.

First of all, no malfunctions were simple in space.

But this was even less than simple. Rodney discovered a power spike that occurred thirty seconds after the camera shorted. Rodney was talking to Caldwell right now about the massive coincidence of the door, the camera, and the shock. Caldwell might buy it. Radek thought his discovery of what Doctor Monroe was working on might seal the deal.

Suddenly, right in the middle of his contemplations, he felt the floor's continuous gentle rumble cease. The _Daedalus_ had dropped out of hyperspace.

Rodney strode past him one second later. "Engineering." He pointed in that direction, and Radek assumed he ought to follow.

Engineering was a few floors and a short walk away. Radek had almost grown used to it, thinking he might like it there, but he couldn't deny that he liked the stability of a planet. Sure, the _Daedalus_ was interesting and he might have liked to work with the resident Asgard more. Of course, when Rodney was there, it was hard to catch Hermiod in a good mood.

Or maybe he was always like that.

They made it to Engineering without any malfunctions getting in their way. Rodney was obviously using Radek as a Hermiod-workaround. He didn't want to deal with the Asgard. The feeling might have been mutual.

"What are you looking for?" Hermiod asked Radek over his shoulder.

Radek glanced at him just as his enormous black eyes blinked eerily. "Any indication someone's been tampering with the ship's systems," he answered absently, gluing his eyes back on the screen.

"Perhaps if you were more specific, the search might not take so long," Hermiod suggested.

"We can't," Radek said. Door controls were almost completely unrelated to the system for the cameras. Yet another system handled the power flow to the console. Either something happened to go wrong in all three of those systems at once, or something bigger was going on.

Rodney returned to Radek's side, and looked at his screen. "Good. Yes. Just check all major systems," he said. Radek wasn't sure who he was talking to for a moment. "Hermiod, look for anything out of the ordinary. Lindstrom, Zelenka, and I will check out the power distribution and see if we can figure out what caused the spike."

Before the three of them could pack up their things for power distribution, Sheppard walked in. Rodney was right, he did get in the way a lot. "How's it coming?" he asked.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It's going to take a while. Even longer if you keep interrupting like that."

They all hesitated in complete silence as Sheppard's eyes slid over everyone else to rest on the Asgard busily scanning major systems with his bulbous almond eyes.

"Don't stare," Rodney mumbled. "He hates it when people stare."

"Am I the only one who thinks it's strange we're working with an alien?" Sheppard asked.

Radek smirked. They were on a spaceship going to another galaxy working primarily on alien technology, and he had qualms about pretty much the only friendly alien they'd met so far.

"Intergalactic hyperdrive technology's kind of new to us, so we need his help," Rodney said.

Sheppard glanced around the room, back at Hermiod, and then came to Radek. He whispered, "Is he supposed to be naked like that?"

Rodney rolled his eyes and shouted, "Lindstrom!" before storming out of the room.

Radek hurried to follow Rodney, amused by Sheppard's discomfort. Lindstrom joined them in a moment with his own diagnostic tools. The three of them were dressed in their Atlantis expedition jackets, separating them from the _Daedalus_ crew jumpsuits.

They made it to power distribution without incident and split up their jobs. Radek looked at the logs and Rodney took the junction box. Lindstrom floated between them and monitored power flow in real time. Radek took a seat at the back of the compartment and started skimming logs.

Rodney suddenly growled in frustration. "I've got nothing."

"Let me see," Radek handed Lindstrom his tablet and went to look at the junction box.

"What?" Rodney asked sarcastically. "You think something's going to magically appear just because you're looking at it?" He glanced at Lindstrom. "Do you see anything Zelenka overlooked?"

Radek frowned.

"Wait a minute," Lindstrom mumbled. "I think I've got something."

"Well?" Rodney glanced at Radek with a look that said, _See? You're incompetent_.

Radek took a step to look.

He jumped back right into Rodney with a yelp when alarms sounded and he felt the acidic burn of coolant on his right hand. He could already feel the air scald his lungs as he breathed.

"Coolant leak!" Lindstrom shouted. "Let's get the hell out of here!"

Rodney pulled Radek back and they both watched as Lindstrom tried to run through the toxic spray. He changed his mind after suffering a burn similar to Radek's and backed away.

"Lindstrom!" Rodney shouted.

Lindstrom had already backed into another compartment and shut the door. Rodney did the same on their side.

Radek backed up against the wall and stared at his red and blistering hand. He couldn't seem to move it and his lungs tingled. Another conveniently-placed malfunction? This was a little more than a coincidence. And he might need a little more than pain-killers.

"Rodney…" he sighed, leaning his head back on the wall as he coughed. He tried to talk himself into thinking about something other than his hand, but it didn't work. It looked pretty bad...

"I know, I know. A little above and beyond the 'coincidence' theory," Rodney mumbled, tapping into the comm control on the wall. He eyed Radek's hand for a moment before the camera on Lindstrom popped up on the screen. "Lindstrom, are you alright?" Rodney demanded.

"Yeah." Lindstrom coughed. "I'm okay. What happened?"

"I don't know," Rodney said. "Just sit tight. We're gonna need to shut down the leak and vent the coolant from our side." He started to work on his tablet and then he stopped. He looked at the suddenly silent screen.

Radek leaned forward to look, too. Lindstrom was talking, but they couldn't hear him. Rodney absently dropped a tablet into Radek's hands. Radek tried to balance the tablet on one hand, but ended up having to use his right hand to steady it anyway. He gritted his teeth and looked at the tablet for any reason they wouldn't be able to hear him while Rodney tried to raise Lindstrom on the comms.

Another alarm sounded. "What the hell are you doing?" Rodney shouted at the screen. Radek glanced up just in time to see Lindstrom push the button to stop the airlock from opening. "Override the system!"

Radek didn't know if he was talking to him or Lindstrom. He looked at his tablet, but there was nothing he could do. "Oh, no," Radek whispered. Lindstrom looked straight at the camera, screaming for help. There was nothing—he could do nothing. "Rodney, what—"

He didn't know what he was going to ask, and it was too late anyway. They watched in helpless horror as the airlock blasted open and Lindstrom blew out into space.

Rodney's eyes went wide. He gasped and shuddered.

Radek held a moment of silence as long as he could before gasping for pain.

Rodney looked at him, and then at the hallway. "Where's Beckett? Who knows how much of that stuff we inhaled…"

Maybe. That would be nice. His hand was fixed in a throbbing claw. He coughed. "We need more than that," Radek sighed. "These are not just random malfunctions."

"Yes, what was your first clue?" Rodney asked sarcastically.

"Doctor Monroe, actually," Radek mumbled, holding his wrist as though that might help his hand. Part of his jacket sleeve had already stuck to the burnt skin and hurt like hell whenever his heart had the audacity to beat.

Rodney snatched up the tablet and looked at it. "But who?" he wondered aloud. "Why?"

Radek didn't have the answer to those questions and couldn't think or speak quite clearly with is every thought interrupted by the painful throb of his hand. The distraction was just short of taking his mind off the sick worry. Why wasn't he back on Earth right now?

He hoped Anna was well into a dreamland.

Small chance of that. The last thing she'd seen before going to her quarters was a dead man. He managed not to consider that before sending her off earlier...

Carson arrived not too long later and examined them.

Rodney insisted a few times that he was alright, but took the oxygen mask anyway. Carson cleared Rodney and turned to Radek. "That's a nasty burn you've got there," he said. "No worries, though. It doesn't look bad."

" _Oh, not bad? Let me show you what 'not bad' looks like sometime_ ," Radek mumbled.

Carson narrowed an eye on Radek, frowning. "It could be worse."

He listened with one ear to Carson talking about how he needed to clean the burn, apply topical antibiotics and anesthetics, and wrap it securely. The other ear listened to Rodney, Caldwell, Sheppard, and Elizabeth. They wondered about intruders, but no. Life-signs head count. A hibernating Wraith was brought up, but there was no way it could hide that long in hibernation on this ship. It had been pored over by three dozen engineers and a decontamination sweep before heading back to Pegasus.

Anybody on board had the expertise. No one seemed to have the motive.

His one ear picked up the next sentence perfectly well. "As of this moment, I want all civilian personnel confined to quarters."

Radek stood even though Carson was only part-way through whatever he was doing. The pain was inconsequential. He had to help Rodney solve this. They had to get to Pegasus alive.

He would have spoken up himself, but Elizabeth and Rodney beat him to it. Rodney made the point that the civilians of the Atlantis expedition had expertise that shouldn't be put in a closet.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," Caldwell said, "but I can't trust any of them for the simple reason that I didn't have any say in their selection. Somebody else was in charge of the process." He cast a glance at Elizabeth.

Radek had never wanted to slug someone in the face before, but there was a first time for everything. Good thing his dominant hand was in shambles…

"What about Zelenka?" Rodney asked, jerking his thumb in Radek's direction.

Colonel Caldwell and Radek stared at each other for half a moment. He didn't know what "desperate" looked like, but he figured this was it. Sure, it didn't seem like as certain death as the Wraith launching an all-out attack on Atlantis, but the stakes were higher this time.

Carson shook his head. "He'll not be much use to you with his hand like this," he said, glaring at Radek. "Radek, you're making this difficult." Radek obliged by giving him his hand back and kept his mouth shut. Rodney had a way of getting what he wanted by sheer annoyance.

"What, is he brain-damaged, too?" Rodney paused. "Don't answer that." He looked at Caldwell just in time to miss Radek roll his eyes. "The point is, we need to find out what's going on fast. I can do it by myself, but this will speed things up."

Caldwell didn't look convinced but nodded his agreement. "Get on it, Doctors."

"Good." Rodney looked at Radek before tracing his eyes down Radek's arm to the doctor. "Carson, can you take that on the road? We need to get to Engineering."

"Calm yourself, Rodney," Carson said quietly as he wrapped gauze around Radek's hand. "I'm almost done."

"Sorry, I get a little nervous with the threat of eminent death."

Radek smiled tightly. His hand still hurt, but whatever that ointment was that Carson put on it had eased the pain significantly. "I don't think this is a saboteur, Rodney," he said. He didn't know why he thought that. Maybe because he couldn't imagine killing someone by ejecting them out an airlock, no matter how incriminating their testimony would be.

"I don't either," Rodney said. "That's why—Engineering—Carson, are you done yet?"

"You'll get your lollipops after the doctor's visit is over, children," Carson said with a grin at Rodney. "And now it is. But, Radek, I want to see you back as soon as you get a chance."

No problem there. Radek nodded and followed Rodney to Engineering.

Hermiod was apparently waiting for them, studying a screen littered with assorted ones and zeroes. Rodney took one look and said, "It's a virus, isn't it?"

"How perceptive of you," Hermiod said. Rodney had met his match in condescending sarcasm. "I found it in the one of the navigational computers. There is evidence of it in communications and some of the propulsion systems as well."

"So it's spreading," Radek sighed and went to a nearby console. He sat and tapped clumsily with his left hand. This was inconvenient…

"Yes," Hermiod agreed. "And changing. It appears to be rewriting itself as it grows. It is unlike any human-engineered program I have ever encountered."

If it wasn't human, what was it? Radek pulled up the translation program as quickly as he could with one hand, but Rodney tapped his shoulder before he finished.

"Yeah, Radek," he said distractedly, shoving him off to one side. "Don't be there."

Radek gave way his seat, but he was pretty sure they both knew what they'd find when he finished. The translation program swept through the ones and zeroes, changing them to a script all too familiar.

"Crap."

Not exactly the word Radek would use…

"What did you do?" Hermiod asked.

"Ran it through a translation program," Radek sighed.

Rodney turned around to look at Hermiod. "It's Wraith."

Hermiod blinked slowly. "Crap, indeed."

#

Radek leaned back in his chair in the infirmary while Doctor Beckett did a more careful—and painful—cleaning of the burn. It would take weeks for his hand to be back to normal. Weeks, if he was lucky. If he was unlucky, he'd be mere specks of organic matter scattered in the vastness of space.

This was no ordinary virus, as Caldwell was about to find out.

He and Rodney had figured it out pretty quickly, but at the expense of two lives. He wasn't even sure they were in time. It was like an entire mafia on its own, killing witnesses and working out its objectives just under the radar. It was intelligent, stopping them at every turn and eliminating every way they could think of—so far—to stop it.

"So hold on a second," Doctor Beckett said. "This virus has been on the _Daedalus_ for a long time, right? Why is it just now causing problems?"

Radek sighed, suddenly feeling Rodney's pain that he was so often the one who had to explain what was going on. "It was probably in compressed format at first," he said. "Small. It probably took the entire trip to Earth for it to start adversely affecting systems. Then it was waiting for something."

Doctor Beckett chuckled nervously. "You make it sound like a predator or something."

Well, it was. "It killed two men," Radek pointed out. "And only when it was about to be discovered."

"A predatory virus," Doctor Beckett mumbled with a shake of his head. "That sounds like a Wraith, then, doesn't it?" Radek sensed it wasn't a question he was meant to answer. He continued to work on Radek's hand, either concentrating on the task at hand or contemplating the dire strait they'd found themselves in. When he spoke again, it was evidently the latter. "What was it waiting for?"

"Probably proximity to Wraith territory," Radek answered. "Rodney thinks it was originally designed to just fly the _Daedalus_ to the Wraith." He twitched as Beckett picked at his already sensitive hand.

"Oh," Doctor Beckett breathed. "That would be bad."

"Worse, actually," Radek said. "If they got the _Daedalus_ , they'd have the location of Earth and the hyperdrive technology to get there."

Doctor Beckett paused and looked up at him. "Is this thing going to take control of the whole ship?"

"No, no," Radek answered. That was their saving grace at the moment. "The _Daedalus_ is a network of computers, but some systems are completely isolated." It was probably the one reason they were still alive. The virus couldn't get at life support or another life-sustaining system.

"Oh." Doctor Beckett looked relieved at that.

Beckett obviously didn't have a grasp of the situation. But he didn't need one, not really. That was Radek's job. That was Rodney's job. The ship was approaching "impossible to fly" status, if it wasn't there already. Now was not the time to be relieved.

"Well, that should do it," Doctor Beckett said, clipping a sturdier version of the gauze on his hand. "Get back to saving the ship."

Radek nodded. He would. But he had to do something first. Things weren't going to get any worse in ten minutes, were they? He walked straight to Anna's quarters and almost buzzed the door. Then he checked his watch. A quarter 'til four in the morning.

That wasn't too early. Not for this.

The door opened almost as immediately as he'd requested it be opened. Anna stood on the other side. She was alone in there. " _Where were you?_ " she demanded. " _Where is everyone?_ "

Radek sighed and leaned in the doorway.

That was when she noticed his gauze. " _What happened to your hand?_ "

He looked down at his wrapped hand and decided not to answer that question. " _Have you been awake all night?_ " Radek asked.

That was his first question? The ship was going to try to deliver them into the hands of their greatest enemies... but had she slept? Better be well-rested for certain death. What was he thinking?

Was he thinking?

" _Yeah. Of course. Jennifer left pretty soon after I got back and I think Lieutenant Cadman has been… guarding something. Or something_." She sighed and stepped back to let him in the room. He saw a book on the top bunk that must have been hers. It was in German, and she was about a quarter of the way through.

He looked at her. " _You've been alone since three?_ "

She nodded. " _What's happening?_ "

" _The ship's computers have a virus,_ " he said. " _We're trying to fix it, but it might take a while._ "

" _So you're going again_ ," Anna said.

" _We have to fix this_."

She sighed and looked back up at her bunk. " _That's okay. I was reading_." She blinked, her eyelids heavy. " _I couldn't come with, could I?_ " she asked.

Radek smiled a little. " _Then we'd both be sent to our rooms_."

" _I'll be quiet, I swear. You won't even know I'm there_ ," Anna begged.

Radek looked back into the corridor. What was the worst that could happen? Next to Rodney, Radek was most likely to be at the epicenter of disaster, but, if that happened, the ship was likely to follow shortly after.

He wasn't usually this defeatist, was he? No, he and Rodney could still fix this. Caldwell was starting to just nod to almost everything Rodney said now, which meant he had to be getting desperate. If Caldwell wasn't openly antagonistic, things were bad.

To hell with it. Caldwell didn't like him anyway. He couldn't leave Anna alone in a crisis. " _You have to be absolutely silent. And you will not go beyond arm's reach_."

She nodded solemnly and slipped her light blue Atlantis jacket on.

He regretted this. He regretted taking her on this ship in the first place.

She stuck to him almost as closely as the gauze on his hand while he made his way to the bridge.

His arrival was met by the beep of a broadcast. He glanced at Rodney. Why were they broadcasting? What? To whom?

Rodney noticed his look, glanced at Anna, then explained, "We need to do a full system shut down. Wipe everything and start again."

"Will that work?" Elizabeth asked.

"Absolutely," Rodney said.

Elizabeth looked to Radek. He shrugged. "It should."

"Since when do you need a second opinion?" Rodney wondered, and motioned for Radek to follow him. "This will take an hour or two. It's not like the ship has an on-off switch."

Sheppard didn't seem satisfied with that figure. "Every second we wait we increases the chance of being detected. We have to shut the broadcasting beacon down now."

"Do you have an idea?" Caldwell asked.

Sheppard nodded. "I do. But you're not gonna like it."

#

The possibility of suffocating to death in space was enough to keep her wide awake. Doctor McKay and Radek grumbled at one another every now and again in scientific English about the hyperdrive, life support systems, and backup logs. Anna didn't know what half of it meant and understood less and less as time went on.

Not because their conversation got any more complicated, but because her internal translating got harder and harder the more tired she got.

She slipped down to the floor next to the console Radek worked at and watched the door. Colonel Sheppard walked in and asked several questions. Doctor McKay answered snappingly. Then Colonel Sheppard looked down at Anna.

"Is Anna supposed to be here?" he asked quietly.

Anna indignantly thought there wasn't anywhere else she was _supposed_ to be.

No, scratch that. She should be on Earth, getting ready for school tomorrow. Her mother should be cursing bills at the dining room table and shouting to Anna they needed a vacation. That was how things were supposed to be.

Instead, she was sitting on the floor of a spaceship. Anna mentally prepared for death tomorrow while Radek cursed some alien virus. No mention of a vacation. This was _not_ the way things were supposed to be.

Radek glanced down at Anna, then back up to Colonel Sheppard. "She's not in the way."

"Yeah, but—"

"You've gotten more in the way in the last two minutes than Anna has for the past hour," Doctor McKay shouted from the other side of the room. He was working on separating some life support this-and-that from some power distribution thing. Anna had no idea.

Colonel Sheppard held his hands up, apparently in defense. "Excuse me. Just trying to help."

"Then be quiet." Doctor McKay went back to clacking keyboards.

Colonel Sheppard crouched down beside Anna. "Couldn't sleep, huh?" He looked a little sympathetic, maybe even apologetic. He nodded. "Me either."

"Um." Anna pressed her lips together and tried to arrange her words. "I was worried after… Doctor Monroe." She hoped she got the name right.

Colonel Sheppard's eyebrows raised with understanding. Probably got the name right then. "Right. Damn, I forgot you were there for that." He shook his head and put his back against the console next to Anna. "Great introduction to the Pegasus galaxy. Murder mystery, _Daedalus_ edition."

Anna couldn't help a small smile. That was a little flippant. People died. Real people who had families. Families who had no idea why they died. Although, that was a question rarely answered...

On the other hand, someone needed to be flippant. Colonel Sheppard seemed just the person to do so.

"Did your idea work?" Anna asked.

He nodded, his only response for a long moment as he watched Doctor McKay snap his fingers at Radek. Radek handed him something.

"Yeah," Colonel Sheppard finally said. "Disabled the transmitter, but it turns out the virus is as good a pilot as I am." He looked at her with a serious glint in his eye.

"Are you a good pilot?"

Colonel Sheppard sniffed, like that was funny. He didn't answer, though. "Anyway, the virus somehow spread itself onto my F-302. The _Daedalus_ barely beamed me out of there in time." He looked back toward the wall in front of them. "It's still out there somewhere."

Anna looked, too, imagining that someone, maybe a hundred thousand years from now, might stumble across the relic with the killer virus in its system. The odds that their technology would be compatible were astronomical. "Technology trying to kill us," Anna mumbled.

"Yeah." Colonel Sheppard glanced at her with a grin. "Kind of like _Terminator_."

" _2001: A Space Odyssey_ ," Anna suggested.

Colonel Sheppard grinned. "A classic. Maybe all Hal needed was a reboot, too."

* * *

 _Next time:_ _Remember what happened to Icarus? He flew too close to the sun? Yeah, he died. Don't do it._


	17. Taking Notice

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: Trying not to die on the way to Atlantis. Them dang Wraith._

* * *

 **Chapter 17. Taking Notice.**

Either no one had seen her tagging along with Radek for the last forty-five minutes, or no one cared that she was. She was keeping her hands to herself, staying silent, and successfully staying out of the way of all the bustling scientists. She was pretty pleased with herself for that last part, actually. They bounced around a lot.

Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard and Elizabeth stood in Engineering with everyone else only a step away from where Radek sat at his console. Anna didn't know what they were doing here since they were doing just as much good as Anna.

"This is what I do when I have problems with my laptop," Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard whispered to Elizabeth. "I turn it off, and then I turn it on again."

Elizabeth smiled a little. "I think this is a little bit more complicated than that."

"I'm just saying that if we're taking a page from the John Sheppard Book of Computer Repair, we're really desperate," he said.

Anna had to nod. This move seemed a little desperate. On the other hand, this virus seemed smart. Doctor McKay had said it was artificially intelligent. It could learn. It could hide. In the end, Anna didn't mind a page from any book of computer repair if it might help.

"Alright, Colonel," Doctor McKay announced. "We're ready."

Colonel Caldwell came over the ship-wide comm system, warning everyone to prepare for shutdown. Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing. Everyone seemed to hold their breath. Anna looked around and her eyes locked with Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth smiled reassuringly.

Then the lights went out. The humming, rumbling, and twitching of the computers ceased. She stood so close to Radek that their elbows were touching. It was just a few seconds, but it seemed like forever. She tried to look for Radek in the darkness, but it was so complete she couldn't see her hand in front of her face.

Then everything came back on. Anna knew she couldn't have been the only one to expel the breath she'd been holding. Radek tapped into his console, turned to Doctor McKay, and nodded.

Doctor McKay contacted Colonel Caldwell. "All systems are functioning normally. No sign of the virus." He grinned at the others in Engineering. "Looks like it worked, Colonel."

The Asgard—Anna had tried very hard not to look at him after her first glance—spoke up from behind them. "May I suggest we vacate this system? Our current position may well have been compromised."

Colonel Caldwell asked for hyperdrive.

"That will take longer to get back online," Hermiod said.

"Radek," Doctor McKay snapped at him and the pointed at Hermiod. "Help him with that. Colonel, I can get you sublight."

Anna felt the ship roar to life beneath her feet as the sublight engines kicked on. They were going incredibly fast by planetside standards, but it would take years and years to get anywhere at this rate. She followed Radek next to the Asgard. She couldn't help but look at him now.

He was so small. Why wasn't he wearing any clothes?

"Rodney."

She tore her eyes away from the alien at Radek's warning tone.

"Damnit!" Doctor McKay checked a console and shook his head, shouting to Colonel Caldwell again. "The virus is back. It has full control of sublight navigation."

Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard glared at Doctor McKay, as though the reappearance of the virus was his fault. "You said all systems were clean."

Doctor McKay sounded confused when he said, "They were."

"When we did the reboot there was no sign of the virus," Radek said. He leaned on the console in front of him and swore in Czech, words her mother would have slapped her for saying. This was bad. "This shouldn't be happening."

"Yeah, yeah," Doctor McKay sighed and looked up at everyone else in Engineering. "We have another problem. We have a new heading: straight for the nearest star."

"Not exactly," Hermiod corrected. "A more precise calculation of our heading shows that we will not collide with the star, but rather make a close approach, near its coronasphere. The ship will survive, but the radiation will kill everyone on board."

"Oh, great," Doctor McKay mumbled. "Frying to death-slash-radiation poisoning."

"We must have missed something," Radek said. "Somewhere the virus could hide."

"Thank you, Doctor Obvious," Doctor McKay announced, gesturing grandly and condescendingly toward him. Then he snapped a few times and pointed in his direction. "Wait a minute. There was a situation back at Stargate Command. An alien entity took control of the base computer, so they did a systems shutdown to destroy it. It survived by uploading itself onto a M.A.L.P."

"The F-302s?" Radek finished.

"It's the only possible explanation," Doctor McKay said.

"What do we do?" Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard asked.

"Physically pull the memory storage modules from the 302s, then do another shutdown." Doctor McKay was already running toward the door, Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard only a step ahead. "Radek, I'll let you know when we've finished."

They were gone for several minutes while Radek ran around Engineering so fast she couldn't keep up. Elizabeth pulled her over to stand next to her.

"Oh," he said suddenly. All the color ran out of his face. "Oh, Hermiod, do you see this?" he asked, gesturing at a console. "The bay doors are opening."

Hermiod's strange long fingers flew across his console and then he looked up into the distance. "Doctor McKay?" he asked. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes, we can," Doctor McKay answered over the comm. "What's going on?"

"I have raised the fighter bay shield in order to prevent the atmosphere from escaping. However, it is only a matter of time before the virus gains full control. I suggest you complete your task quickly."

They waited. Anna held her breath.

"That's it," Radek sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I can't stop it anymore." He stared at his console in what Anna thought looked like horror. "The shield is down. The fighter bay is decompressing—I can't—" He hesitated and tried the comm. "Doctor McKay? Colonel Sheppard? Can you hear me?"

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief at Sheppard's voice. "We managed to get into the last F-302 before we lost atmosphere. Any chance you can beam us out?"

Radek almost laughed in relief, but shook his head. "We lost the transport beam. We'll figure something out."

"We pulled all the memory the memory units," Doctor McKay spoke up. "Another shutdown should work."

Anna pressed her lips together. No, they didn't. She would be in so much trouble… But she would rather make it to Atlantis alive. "Radek _?_ " she ventured.

"Anna, not now," he scolded. Everyone else looked at her like they didn't recognize she'd been there the whole time.

" _They didn't get every memory unit._ " She held up her tablet, displaying the only memory unit Doctor McKay and Colonel Sheppard could have missed.

He stared at her tablet, then at her face, but just for a moment. He cursed again and went back to his radio. "Rodney, we didn't get everything. The last 302 is still out there with the virus."

There was a slight silence. Colonel Sheppard breathed. "Copy that, Zelenka."

"Good luck." Radek looked back at Hermiod. "Be ready for another shutdown."

Hermiod nodded and tapped away.

Radek looked at her with a wan smile. " _Thank you_ , miláčku."

Everyone in Engineering fixed their eyes on the display of the two dots, one of them representing Sheppard's F-302 and the other represented the abandoned F-302. The virus was smarter than they thought, but apparently so was Colonel Sheppard. Hermiod seemed to enjoy giving a blow-by-blow account of everything happening on the screen before them.

Anna couldn't watch, even when Elizabeth applauded Colonel Sheppard's fancy flying. She was more concerned with the fact that the two small dots were headed right for the star. Just as she was imagining the heat of radiation hitting the cockpit of Colonel Sheppard's F-302, the dots flickered and disappeared.

"There is too much interference," Hermiod said.

Anna frowned at her tablet, glad she was biting her tongue for her sarcasm. _Oh, really_?

She watched Radek lean back in his chair, watching helplessly. He shook his head, muttering, " _Too long, too long_." He closed his eyes and waited. The radiation. "Colonel Sheppard, can you read? Doctor McKay? Can you hear me?" He paused. "Rodney?"

"Radek," Doctor McKay said.

Everyone in Engineering did the science-lab equivalent of a victory dance. Elizabeth reached around Anna's shoulders and gave her a quick hug, smiling in victory. Anna was surprised to find she didn't mind.

Then they got back to work.

"Target is destroyed," Colonel Sheppard reported.

"Try one more shutdown," Doctor McKay said. "It has to work this time."

This time when the lights went out, the only thing Anna felt was exhaustion.

* * *

 _Next time: Yes. It is beautiful._


	18. City of Lights

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: Atlantis next, right? Riiiight?_

 _Yes. Now Atlantis. I am so sorry. But this is pretty much how this story is going to work. So get used to it. I'm in it for the long haul. Maybe break out your Atlantis DVDs. You'll be watching, like, an episode a month at this rate. I've got a bunch of little story arcs planned, which is why I started the whole "Last Time in Drz Se, Miláčku" thing. They will eventually become more useful. Anyway. You didn't come here to watch me talk to myself._

* * *

 **Chapter 18. City of Lights.**

The Stargate was a sort of dark silver, almost black, and blue. She hadn't seen the 'gate in the Milky Way galaxy. She wasn't allowed in the 'gate room then, but she and several others had been beamed straight to the room above the 'gate.

It was an amazing-looking machine. She wondered when she'd get to see it working. If she'd get to see it working. Would she ever get to use it? She didn't have any reason to, so she guessed not. On the other hand, could she really go to another galaxy and not go through the Stargate at least once? It would be like going to a Disney amusement park and not seeing the mouse.

" _Are you ready?_ "

Anna looked at Radek from her corner of the control room. He asked her to wait, oh, forty-five minutes ago while he "skimmed" a report about the discoveries made while he was away. Either there were a lot of discoveries or he wasn't skimming. Or maybe he was just really slow. That was possible, too, since Anna doubted it was in Czech.

" _Yeah_ ," she said, and stood up from her legs hanging off the balcony's ledge. It wasn't incredibly comfortable, since the lowest bar was too low for her to put her legs under, but it seemed like it was frowned upon. So she sort of had to do it.

Radek was suddenly next to her, looking at the 'gate. " _I see you noticed the Stargate_."

" _How could I miss it?_ " She smiled. He had to be joking. " _Will I ever get to go through it?_ "

" _Probably someday_ ," he said. " _We should get you settled in our quarters first._ "

" _How far is it?_ "

" _Not far, using the transporter_." He walked ahead of her down the stairs and around a long corner that led to four different hallways.

Unlike on the _Daedalus_ , all the uniforms here were the same. There were no green _Daedalus_ jumpsuits, just the blue or khaki Atlantis jackets. Here and there were the traditional American military camouflage covered by flak jackets. This seemed still to be primarily a civilian scientist operation, or else all the military personnel were somewhere else.

" _I asked for new quarters, more like an apartment_ ," he said, standing aside for her to enter a small room that seemed to go nowhere. Maybe it was an elevator.

" _Alright_ ," she said. Not much else to say about that.

He followed her into the elevator and tapped the screen on the wall. It was a picture of Atlantis from the top down, silhouette only. Small yellow dots freckled the space. Radek pointed at one, first with his mummified right hand. He realized that wasn't going to work well for him and switched to his left.

" _We're here_ ," he said. " _This is the control tower. You will come here to see Elizabeth, probably._ " He cut himself off with a shake of his head. " _Quarters. On the south-east pier._ " He pointed at another dot, this time touching it.

The next time the door opened, they were in another place entirely. It was sort of like an Asgard beam. But not. They stepped out into a wide hallway filled with strange angles and potted plants. He walked slowly down the hall. Anna guessed it was so he could talk.

" _You'll take a few days to get settled in_ ," he said. " _Teyla has kindly offered to take you to meet her people day after tomorrow if you want to go. There are people your age. I think it's a festival of some kind._ "

" _Will you be going?_ " Anna asked.

" _I'll be working_."

Anna sighed and nodded. Of course, he would. She didn't even know what this Teyla looked like.

" _But maybe I won't be_ ," he backpedaled. Probably at her reaction.

" _It's okay_ ," Anna said. After all, if there was one thing she'd learned on the trip over, it was that when there was an emergency, there was really an emergency. She knew she could entertain herself in a city like this to no end. She didn't need festivals and kids her age.

" _No. No, it's not_ ," he said. " _We'll go to the festival together._ " He stopped walking without warning in front of a door. " _This is it._ "

It was a red door, like all the other doors. He stepped forward and waved his hand in front of a blue bar. The door slid open on a huge, mostly empty room. There was a sofa, a desk, a table, and a window seat in immediate vision. Along one wall was a long counter and what looked like a sink. Two small doors on either side might have led to bedrooms. Long floor-to-ceiling windows looked out on the rest of the city.

" _It's nice_ ," she said.

" _You can pick whichever room you like."_ He pointed to the two doors on either side. _"They're identical suites, but mirrored._ "

" _You didn't get something bigger?_ " she asked. She wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or not. It was by no means small. Probably a little large for just the two of them. " _Aren't you a senior member of the science team?_ "

" _Less space to mess up,_ " he said with a smile.

She laughed. She guessed that was going to be more a problem for her than for him. He probably lived in his lab.

One wall was almost entirely made of windows, looking out on the city. Lightly colored spires sprawled over the ocean. She could only barely see the blue peeking out between one tower and another. " _Nice view_ ," she said.

" _That's what I get for being a senior member._ " He walked over to the window. He looked out fondly, like he was looking at… well, something other than a bunch of buildings. " _You will see it at night._ "

She supposed she would in a few hours. It was hard to tell what time it was, though.

Anna went to the nearest door on the left. It swept open when she stood before it, allowing entrance to a small room with a bed, a desk, and a window seat. The architects of Atlantis seemed to love their view. A wall cut off what she assumed was a bathroom.

" _This one will be fine_."

She walked back out, spinning around in a circle, trying to take it all in. Yes, she could get used to this. Colorado Springs was nothing in comparison to this. Two large gray trunks sat near the door on the floor—all their things.

Last year, if someone told her she could consolidate her life into a single trunk that she couldn't even fit in, she'd call them crazy.

" _I always eat in the mess hall_." He looked at the sink he was standing next to. Anna wondered if there was a stove or oven around here somewhere.

" _I figured. I don't remember you cooking much_." She smiled at him. Also during their month in Colorado Springs, she'd gotten very used to the food on base, at various restaurants along the way, and take-out Chinese and pizza.

" _I'll show you where that is, next. Then my lab._ " His eyes lit up.

They went back to the Ancient elevator, tapped a dot, and ended up in what Radek announced was the mess hall. It was a huge, multi-tiered room with a balcony looking out on the ocean. Coffee and tea sat along one wall, apparently always available alongside snacks. Anna guessed that meals were served at specific times.

Now was obviously not one of those times. There were several individuals sitting at tables, drinking coffee and reading tablets. Other than that, the place seemed simply cavernous. Just another place to get lost in the crowd outside of a school cafeteria.

Speaking of school…

She never got to ask.

He took her all the places she might need to go. He showed her the infirmary. Jennifer was there, busily familiarizing herself with her new workplace. They didn't bother her, though Anna learned Jennifer had volunteered to tutor Anna on the finer points of molecular biology.

Radek apparently saved the best for last. His lab was next to Doctor McKay's, a bit smaller, but functional. He was like a small child showing a parent his art project from school or something.

Anna stood in the doorway while he talked about some Ancient gadget, unable to help her smile. He didn't know what it did, but he found a lot to say about it anyway. She wanted to go inside the lab and explore the place more closely—after all, this place was more exciting than anywhere else she'd seen so far—but she didn't want to be interested. She couldn't be interested.

She was interested. She stepped into the room and was careful not to touch anything. She couldn't wait to know what some of these things did. She couldn't wait to prove she belonged here. She leaned over the desk and looked at the tablet.

Would she get to learn from the things in this room? Would she get to help him work?

They explored a bit more before heading back to the quarters. Anna didn't realize that it was dark outside until the door opened.

He was right. It was beautiful. The spires sparkled with a thousand lights and reflected off the water in the distance. It was a mysterious and alien city in the daytime, but at night it was different. At night it looked like a beacon, warm with yellow lights. Just when she thought she'd seen everything Atlantis had to offer, she turned around and it gave her something new…

She walked to the window and gazed out. She could look at this forever.

" _Beautiful, yes_?" he asked.

She nodded and went to stand at the window. This was definitely the best room in Atlantis.

He went to the trunk. " _Do you want help unpacking?_ "

She smiled a little. She had thought he was going to say something about it being time for bed and she was all ready to say she wasn't eight anymore. " _Sure_."

#

Radek was surprised at how quickly Anna's trunk emptied out into her room. She didn't have many clothes, really only those he'd bought for her that day at the mall, and a handful of books. Her bedding took up most of the space in the trunk, carefully wrapping two delicate figurines that Radek recognized from the dusty piano of their home.

He amused himself by arranging the two figurines on the bookshelf until he noticed Anna pull a book from the bottom of the trunk. A few pages stuck out of it, but it was clear what the book was for.

" _Photo album?_ " he asked.

She nodded, not saying anything. She sat on the floor and pulled the picture of Eliška from under the top cover. She held it for a few seconds, running her fingers down the edge of the photo, before putting it on the low table beside the bed.

" _Do you want a frame for that? I have one_." He'd actually gotten it specifically for her. It was hard to miss the picture taped above her nightstand in Colorado Springs. Eliška smiling outside a cafe, spring blooms lining the beige streets behind her. The picture couldn't have been very old, but the corners of the picture were curled and frayed like it was. Tape folded over the sides from being stuck to the wall and who knew what else.

Anna shrugged. " _I don't mind_."

He'd give her the frame anyway. If she chose to use it, then fine. If not… well, it was five dollars. It wasn't as if he was hurting for cash. There wasn't anywhere around here to spend it. Even the food was free.

The picture reminded him, though. He smiled and pulled out his ID wallet. It was thin, and black, with plastic windows on the front and back. It was meant to hold an access card and identification in case of accidental frying by some ten-thousand-year-old Ancient experiment. Sandwiched between the two cards, Radek kept a little-seen photo that he hadn't actually looked at in… well, now it had been a few weeks since he looked at it. He used to go months and years.

He handed her the stiff cardstock as he sat on the edge of her newly-made bed. This picture was in excellent condition… Maybe because he didn't look at it often. But he always had it. That was something, wasn't it?

" _It's the only photo I have of us,_ " he said. He didn't know if that was sad or not, but it was a wonderful picture. An autumn day, a smiling five-year-old Anna tried to escape the bear hug of her laughing father. Eliška looked on from the sidelines, obviously amused. It was a work picnic or some sort. He didn't remember whose work, who took the picture, or how they'd ended up with a stack of these pictures sitting on the dining room table for months.

For a moment, just a moment, he wondered how Eliška was doing today—like he always wondered when he looked at this picture. But she was gone. He wondered if that truth would ever seem real. They'd been apart for so long that it was easy to forget. This wasn't a consequence he'd anticipated. Every time he remembered, it was like remembering for the first time.

" _I have this one, only bigger. It was on my desk at home_ ," she said. She turned the photo in her hands before giving it back. " _It's one of my favorites of mom_. _She didn't like it, though_."

Radek took a closer look at Eliška. She probably thought she looked exhausted. Radek guessed most mothers of five-year-olds were. If only she'd known she didn't look any less beautiful for it. " _It's a good picture of her_."

" _It's the only one you have?_ " Anna asked.

" _Of you and me, yes_." He hadn't been there for many photo-ops.

Anna carefully opened her photo album, tilting it toward her. Radek wondered what could possibly be inside she wouldn't want him to see, but didn't ask. A moment later, she withdrew a wallet-sized picture and handed it to him. " _This was mom's favorite_."

Radek laughed. " _I thought these were lost._ " Most people made a point not to lose baby pictures, but these were different. His brother had taken this particular picture, and the last time Radek had seen it was the last time Radek saw him. " _Look at you_."

Anna smiled politely. She'd probably seen this picture a hundred times… but, of course, it wouldn't mean anything to her. She couldn't remember this moment.

This precise moment, even if it hadn't been captured in a photograph, was nearly indelible in his memory. It didn't matter how seldom his recollection of it was. He suspected he would always remember the bewilderment and, for lack of a better word, joy. Anna was only a handful of hours old. Eliška was sleeping, and someone handed him the baby. He didn't realize until later that his brother had snapped a picture of his first words to his daughter.

 _Oh, hello. My, you're little_.

Not eloquent by any means. But Anna didn't know any difference. Fortunate, too, because shortly thereafter he'd stumbled through what he could remember of a lullaby. He'd never been much of a singer.

" _You can keep that one,_ " she said quietly. " _I have two._ "

" _Thank you_." He slid this picture between his ID cards next to the other picture. He looked at the cover of the photo album for a few seconds, wondering what other pictures she had. Pictures of an Anna he completely missed, growing up and going to school, living like he didn't exist except in pictures on the desk.

" _I have some more,_ " Anna offered finally.

She flipped a few pages, careful to keep the pages out of his view. She handed him picture after picture, sliding a bit closer on her knees to look at the pictures with him. Pictures of the wedding day. His and Eliška's graduations. Anna playing in the park, under the dining room table, coloring, writing her first numbers under Eliška's tutelage.

Anna took the pictures back, sliding them into their pouches in the album. " _It's getting late_ …" she said quietly.

" _It is_." Radek scolded himself as he stood. Probably should have let Anna get to sleep hours ago. Forget Anna— _he_ should have been asleep hours ago. He smiled at her, but she didn't seem happy. She seemed… well, if he didn't know any better, he thought she looked like she was about to cry.

He didn't know any better, and he wasn't sure what to do even if she was. " _Good night_."

* * *

 _Next time: I just need a Band-Aid, I swear._


	19. Hurt

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: We made it to Atlantis, giving Radek and Anna some time to reminisce about times past. Time for some more drama. Sorta. What passes for drama around here, anyway.  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 19. Hurt.**

Anna was ready before she even heard Radek rustling around the next morning. The dress code on Atlantis was less stringent than on the _Daedalus_. She had the miniature, pale version of the Atlantis uniform, with white patches instead of colors, but she was free to wear whatever she liked. "Civilian" clothes, as they were called.

Everyday clothing.

Like this was every day.

Today most certainly was not just like every day, but she would act like it. Last night, she hid the photo album under her bed in a box. Not that she was hiding it… not from anyone but herself. Today of all days, she wanted to hide it.

She pulled out the small photo album, anyway, where she kept all of the most important pictures from home. The ones her mother had written on the back of. Grandparents. Her parents' wedding pictures. Pictures of when she was small. Pictures from when they were a family. Pictures from when they weren't.

The carefully selected pictures last night were mostly for his benefit. Old pictures that didn't remind her too much of her mother. Oh, they reminded her. But recent pictures were somehow worse. They reminded her that these memories were all she had. There would be no more.

Radek didn't seem to understand that last night.

She was sure it was the reason he didn't spend much time with her. He wanted to know the answer to a dozen questions that she didn't want to hear. Questions about her mother. Did he want to know if she wanted to say anything to him? If he did, he didn't really show it. Even still, he probably would like to see this…

Anna drew the folded envelope addressed to Radek from between the pages of photos. Her mother's sick, shaking hand had written his name and the letter inside. This script was just a shadow of the beauty that once made her letters seem mysterious and charming.

Anna felt guilty for keeping it from him sometimes. She didn't know what it said, but it couldn't have been all sunshine and roses. Her mother was dying when she wrote this letter, and Anna couldn't imagine what one might want to say in those circumstances. To someone she once told she never wanted to see again. She told Anna he would probably come in time. She gave Anna this letter, just in case he didn't.

Anna was supposed to give it to him.

But she couldn't. She couldn't when they were in Colorado Springs and she couldn't now that they were in another galaxy.

She was wrong before. There was no distance far enough for her to forget.

In truth, she'd forgotten about the letter in Colorado Springs. Her photo album stayed packed, going from the box she'd brought to the US into the trunk bound for Atlantis. The letter hid inside, for her to find it last night.

She didn't give it to him then, either. She didn't know why.

He might understand though. She didn't want to talk about her mother. Certainly not today. It had been half a year. She'd almost lost track of the days at the SGC, but there was a lot of empty time to fill between the Milky Way and Pegasus galaxies. She'd figured it out. Counted out the days.

With delays factored in, it turned out that today, the day after their arrival on Atlantis, was the six-month anniversary of her mother's death.

The equivalent of a knock sounded some minutes later. Anna tossed the photobook on the bed and threw a blanket over it before opening the door to the everyday Atlantis uniform. Khaki-and-blue on blue. Classy.

" _Good morning_ ," he said. " _Did you sleep well?_ "

First night on another planet. As well as could be expected under such circumstances. At least there wasn't a hard vacuum outside. She nodded in answer and stepped into the main room between the two bedrooms and looked around. A tablet and some wires sat on the counter next to the little sink, but other than that it was clear of clutter. Anna didn't imagine his life would be all that much different with her living two doors away. She wasn't the type to leave many of her things lying around, either.

He looked at her critically. " _Are you okay?_ "

She nodded again. " _Yeah, I am._ "

" _Oh._ " He didn't sound too convinced. He collected his tablet and they went out into the main thoroughfare toward the transporter. Maybe he wasn't convinced at all.

"I was hoping to introduce you to Atlantis's psychologist today," he said, switching almost seamlessly to English.

He paused when he realized Anna wasn't following anymore. She stood about a meter behind him, her heart pounding in anger. Disgust. Maybe fear. "I don't need a psychologist."

He smiled at her a little. "We all talk to her." He paused and seemed to arrange his words carefully. "Some more than others."

"Do you?" she asked.

He considered that for longer than she might have liked. "I have," he said finally, his words ultimately without hesitation. The implication was that he didn't usually. "But I also don't go offworld. I'm in a lab all day." He chuckled. "Though with all the grief Rodney gives me, Atlantis is fairly traumatizing."

"I'm going to be in my room all day, so…" Anna said.

"This is your first time offworld," he reminded. "In another galaxy. I want you to have someone to talk to. If you want to talk to someone. I don't know." He blinked once. Smiled a little as though to gain her approval.

Well, he didn't have it. There was no one she could talk to, and she could name at least a few other people she'd prefer to talk to than a stranger. "I don't."

"You'll just meet her," he said. "You don't have to say anything."

" _She'll ask a hundred questions that I don't want to answer and I don't want to meet her_ ," Anna said. She looked around the hallway. They weren't the only ones here, but no one seemed to mind when she switched to Czech. It was faster and easier. And odds were that no one would know what she was saying.

" _It won't be a hundred,_ " he said. Was that supposed to make her feel better? He turned into the open transporter and waited for her. " _I wish you could talk to someone about… things._ "

" _Things?_ " she snapped. " _What things?_ " She followed him into the transporter even though that was the last thing she wanted to do at the moment. She wanted to go back to her room and hide until today was over.

Tomorrow will be better. It's what she always told herself and it was usually true. The week anniversary. Two weeks. Three. Two months. Tomorrow was always better. Not for long, but it was.

" _I don't know_ ," he said. " _Anything._ " He pressed a dot that wasn't for the mess hall and the door opened on a wide, empty hallway. It was dark until the lights flickered on for them. He stepped out. " _I know today is—_ "

" _I don't want to talk about it_." Anna stayed in the transporter. He didn't get to talk about that. He wasn't there. He probably didn't care, if last night was any indication.

He shrugged. " _Or not, then_."

His sister had tried. Anna knew her aunt was a sweet woman, but her cousin was a handful all by himself. Anna was picking up the pieces just fine on her own. She didn't need a psychologist. And she didn't need him.

" _But it's not for debate,_ " he said. " _Everyone talks to Doctor Heightmeyer at one time or another. What you talk about is up to you._ "

" _She'll try to talk about it, though_ ," Anna said.

He nodded as if that were a distinct possibility. " _It isn't a secret why you're here._ "

Anna sighed and leaned back on the wall. He looked at her with concern, but kept his mouth shut. He stepped into the transporter next to her and tapped the mess hall dot. Anna smelled bacon and eggs, fruit, and oatmeal. Some of the fruit looked distinctly alien. She figured she had enough adventures for the last month. The alien fruit could wait for another day.

They ate a silent breakfast, though Radek sometimes tried to bring up the wall color or the cloudless sky. True to his promise, they went to an unfamiliar hallway of Atlantis where a blond woman was saying goodbye to one of the military personnel.

That was precisely the person who needed a psychologist. Not Anna.

"Hello, Doctor Heightmeyer," Radek said.

"Doctor Zelenka," she said. Then she looked at Anna, smiled. She stooped ever so slightly to be closer to her eyes. "You must be Anna. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too." It was her most practiced English phrase. Fortunately, it didn't sound as sarcastic as she felt when she said it.

"I'm looking forward to getting to know you." Anna figured she sounded sincere enough.

Before Anna could give a response, Radek cleared his throat. " _Be nice. Give her a chance._ " He smiled at Doctor Heightmeyer, then glanced at Anna. "I'll be back soon."

"Počkat. * _Um..._ " Anna looked directly at him, glancing at Doctor Heightmeyer askance. What was she going to say? Did she really want him to stay if she was somehow tricked into talking about her mother? Tricked into talking about him? "Have a, um, good day."

Why was she suddenly so aware of how accented her words sounded? Far worse than Radek's. He probably couldn't even understand her English half the time.

"Are you sure?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked. "He doesn't have to go anywhere."

"No, I'm fine." Anna went through the door to Doctor Heightmeyer's office and sat on the couch. The two adults didn't say anything, but they looked confused about how to proceed.

In the end, Doctor Heightmeyer came in the office and sat in her chair. Anna watched Radek walk away through the glass windows. She watched for several seconds before she realized that Doctor Heightmeyer was looking at her, probably making assumptions already and she hadn't even said anything.

"What?" Anna asked her.

"How are you liking Atlantis so far? I know it's only been a few days."

"One day," Anna said.

"One day. And three weeks on the _Daedalus_. I heard it was an exciting trip."

"I guess. The _Daedalus_ is a spaceship. It should be exciting."

Doctor Heightmeyer seemed to find that amusing. "I suppose you're right. I think that's something that we lose a little bit of, living in an alien city in another galaxy."

Anna paused. "Lose? What?"

"We start thinking this is ordinary. Normal." She motioned around the room. Her hand eventually led Anna's eyes to look outside at the endless ocean beyond the glittering spires.

Anna had a hard time thinking it would ever be ordinary. "Anything can be normal. With time."

Doctor Heightmeyer nodded. "I suppose that's true. You have a lot of adjustments to make."

That was a little of an understatement. Here she was, living on a planet in another galaxy where her native tongue was shared by only a handful of people among hundreds. She was by far the youngest denizen of this city. The closest people her age were a ride in an alien spacecraft away. She hadn't even finished adjusting to the changes that happened while she was still on Earth.

"Yes," Anna said finally. "I do."

Doctor Heightmeyer smiled and leaned back in her chair. "How has that been going?"

Anna shrugged. "Good." She didn't know how to say what she wanted to say. "It will not be normal in a day."

"That's very mature." Doctor Heightmeyer nodded. "Have you talked to your dad about this?"

Anna shook her head to answer.

"Any particular reason why?"

"I don't want to." She sensed another _Why?_ "He'll ask questions I don't want to talk about. Thinking about things I don't want to think about. Like you."

Doctor Heightmeyer frowned a little. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's not your fault," Anna said. "He made me come."

"Is there someone else you'd prefer to talk to?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked. "You've become a little close with Doctor Weir and Doctor Keller, haven't you?"

Why did everyone think she needed to talk to someone? She couldn't talk to someone—just anyone. "I don't want to talk to any of them," Anna said. "I don't want to talk to Elizabeth or Jennifer or you or Radek. I don't need to. I'm fine."

She blinked at her tears. _Good job, Anna. She'll buy that_.

Doctor Heightmeyer pursed her lips. "I know…" she said quietly. "I know this is a hard day for you." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "It's been six months, today, since your mom died, hasn't it?"

Anna swiped away her tears, nodding. "Yes." She sighed and cleared her hair from her face. "I am fine on other days. It's just today."

"I know," Doctor Heightmeyer said. But it sounded like she was just saying it to oblige her. "But I think it will be much easier if you do talk to someone. And I can think of one person who loves you very much and who really wants to talk to you. Especially today."

"I don't think he really cares."

"Oh, no, honey." Doctor Heightmeyer looked sad. It was hard for Anna to tell if it was just a face she put on for her clients or if she was genuinely unhappy for her. "I'm sure if you asked him—"

"He didn't have to be there when she died," Anna said. "He didn't have to care." And now he was back on Atlantis. Back at work. He always hid at work. He didn't have to care if he was hiding.

Doctor Heightmeyer paused like she didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say. No matter what Doctor Heightmeyer said—no matter what Radek said, for that matter, this was the way things were. It didn't matter if anyone cared.

Anna stood. "I'd like to go now."

"We should wait for your dad to get back…" Doctor Heightmeyer said. "Why don't you tell me about playing violin for the youth orchestra?"

Anna shook her head. "No. I don't feel well." She walked out the door and looked around for the nearest transporter.

"I'll walk you, then," Doctor Heightmeyer said behind her. "Do you need to see Doctor Beckett?"

Anna shook her head. Wrong kind of sick. Unless Doctor Beckett knew how to fix a broken heart. Of course, if anyone could, the best doctor in two galaxies could.

No, who she needed to see was her máma.

Doctor Heightmeyer showed her to the transporter and stood next to her until the door opened onto the south-east pier. "Are you going to the festival tomorrow with Teyla and Doctor Weir?" she asked while they walked.

Anna shrugged and nodded at the same time. She hadn't decided for sure, but she might as well say yes. There was nothing else to do and it might get her mind off things. What things, she didn't know.

"I'll tell your dad you didn't feel well, so I took you home. Alright?"

Anna nodded. That was fine. Until tomorrow.

She would be better tomorrow.

#

"First day back and you thought you'd take it easy, hm?"

Radek snapped up from lounging in his chair, not doing much of anything. "Sorry, I was, ah, thinking." He slid the picture back between his ID cards and turned back to his computer.

It wasn't his fault if Anna didn't want to talk. He'd tried say something—anything, after he went back to the room to check on her. She was sitting on the floor by the window. He might have been concerned, but she didn't seem to sit on couches or chairs all that often at their apartment in Colorado. He once offered her a seat on their obviously open couch. He earned a shot of some look he couldn't decipher. Maybe something that said, "I know no one's sitting on the couch." Today, she was sitting on the floor reading. Or maybe just looking out the window at Atlantis. Either was a fine use of time in Radek's opinion.

Except he was fairly sure she was thinking of Eliška. Six months ago, today, had been the worst day of Anna's life. She was as alone then as she was now, wasn't she? Except, now, she was in another galaxy. He should be with her, shouldn't he?

"Oh, then, by all means, keep going. How long have you been at it? Ten minutes?" Rodney sarcastically checked his watch. "It's not like we pay you or anything. Let me know when you're ready to go."

"Go?" Radek glanced up. "Where? I thought we were testing the-the-the output of the ZPM on the—"

"That was an hour ago. Collins and Kusanagi are following up on that. Are you okay? You sick or something?" Rodney's questions seemed concerned, but not his tone. He seemed annoyed and patronizing.

"No, not sick," Radek mumbled. Had he really just lost an hour? He would have to figure out something… Or he could tell the truth. What was the worst thing Rodney could do? Ridicule him? It would be just like every other day. "I'm worried about Anna."

"Oh." Rodney didn't ridicule him. He didn't say much of anything, really. He just cleared his throat and went back to whatever he was doing.

Rodney wouldn't understand anyway. At least, Radek didn't think he would. Forget it. Radek didn't understand, either. From the moment the message reached him that Eliška had died, he'd sort of disowned that knowledge. It didn't seem real, and it still didn't. He figured that having Anna living with him would soon put sense back into him and he'd realize that he was really never going to see her again.

He hadn't been upset. That was the worst thing. He hadn't felt much of anything. Still didn't. He thought he should have. Last night was the closest he'd gotten. Looking at the picture of her, and realizing as if for the first time that she was simply _gone._ For just a moment, he felt… resentment. He hadn't said a proper goodbye and had no one but himself to blame anymore. He might have thought to blame Eliška, but that was pointless.

His screen blinked at him that a simulation had finished. There were all sorts of tests to finish now that the ZPM had turned on all manner of systems they didn't know existed before they left. More of that could be done later.

"I'm ready now _._ " He picked up his tablet and hoped he'd remember what he was doing on the way to wherever it was he was going.

Rodney waved away his words like an annoying fly. "No, no, no, no, it's fine. If you need to go do something—something about Anna, then that's—"

Radek rolled his eyes. "I have a family. This does not mean I can't work."

"We've only been back for—what?—a day? There's time. Go."

Radek stood in front of his computer, not saying anything for what felt like minutes. Confused as all hell. How to respond to a thoughtful Rodney McKay... "What?" he finally managed. "Is there something I should know, McKay? Are you terminally ill or something?"

Rodney snatched up his tablet. "Probably," he snapped. "Since it was also my idea she come at all. Clinically insane is the term you used, I believe." He stalked out of the lab liked a kicked puppy.

Radek didn't remember using that term at all. It didn't matter, though. Rodney probably was some garden variety of mentally unstable, but he got things done. And he was a good distraction. "Oh, my god, it's a brain tumor." Radek grinned, following Rodney anyway. "How long do you have? Six months? A year?"

"Don't pretend you'd be concerned about my well-being. We both know you aren't."

"Of course. I will be head of the science team, yes?"

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Počkat = Wait

* * *

 _Next time: I'm good at this social-thing. ... Why are you laughing?_


	20. Context

_Last time: We made it to Atlantis. We unpacked. We talked to the psychologist. I think we're settled in here. But not so settled in that you can leave me to go meet people I don't know with people I don't know on a planet I don't know._

* * *

 **Chapter 20. Context.**

"This is one of my favorite parts of the job," Doctor Beckett said as they walked from the puddle jumper to the Athosian settlement.

He was dressed casually, but his backpack obviously held medical supplies. Well, medical supplies and other things. He had a fishing pole strapped to one side of it. It was strange, actually, to see everyone in something other than their uniforms. Except Elizabeth.

"You'll like the Athosians, Anna," Doctor Beckett said. "They're a lovely people."

"Have you spent any time with the Athosians?" Anna asked Radek.

He shook his head, but Teyla took over answering. "Your father is usually indisposed on Atlantis. He doesn't often have time to take part in any of our day-off activities."

Anna sat across from Teyla in the jumper flight to the mainland, and between Elizabeth and Radek. Teyla seemed very nice, if a bit forceful. She was excited to learn that Anna played an instrument. Though she was quick to admit that she had no idea what a violin was, exactly, she said her people would be much obliged if Anna would play for them as part of the festival.

It explained why she was carrying her violin, safely packed away in its case, and why her heart was pounding. She didn't really want to put on a performance. Her palms were sweating and shaking as soon as they saw the first tents in the small clearing.

Anna would have liked to live here, for a few days, perhaps. It would be a nice place to vacation.

Tents were set up and spread out. Each one was of hand-made materials and it looked like they'd weathered a lot. Long tables were set up in front of the foremost tents and covered with food that looked like it was fresh from the field.

Children and adults ran from the tents as soon as they were noticed. Children left their games in a field and adults left their preparations. They were dressed like... well, Anna hadn't seen anything like it outside a renaissance fair. Except this looked like the real thing. Their clothes looked tough and hardy, hard to rip and long-lasting. Shirts had seen all sorts of weather and trousers had knelt in mud and scrambled up trees. Everything around here had been through a lot.

Including, perhaps, the people.

Teyla picked up her pace. "Halling!" she laughed as she clasped arms with a man. They paused to touch foreheads. Teyla then turned to the boy at his side. "Jinto—it is so good to see you both!"

"We have missed you greatly, Teyla," Halling said.

"I have missed you, too. How is Charin?" Teyla glanced over his shoulder.

"I last saw her slaving over a cauldron of tuttleroot soup." Halling turned to the rest of them. "Welcome!"

Anna stood back while Halling greeted Doctor Beckett and Elizabeth. Teyla had to introduce Halling and the boy, Jinto, to Radek. Several more adults came to talk to Doctor Beckett while Teyla motioned for Anna to come to her. Anna glanced up at Radek, but he'd already been pulled to one side to speak to an Athosian. Anna imagined Radek would have a worse time here than she would... there was no one at all for him to talk to. Athosian technology looked limited to bows and sickles. At least music was ubiquitous.

"Jinto, this is Anna." Teyla put her hand on Anna's shoulder as soon as Anna arrived at her side. "She recently joined us on Atlantis to be with Radek."

"Anna," Jinto said with a nod. Anna found herself staring despite her attempts to not be rude. She might have tried to smile... she wasn't sure. Jinto looked like any other twelve-year-old boy she might have met anywhere. He was small, with messy hair, and dirt underneath his fingernails.

"Anna has agreed to play songs for us on her instrument later," Teyla said. "I thought you could introduce her to Iskaan and the others." Teyla nodded to encourage Jinto away.

Anna glanced at Radek. He was watching her now, but Anna couldn't tell what he thought of this whole thing. He looked like he might be having as much fun as she was. Doctor Beckett pulled him to come see the food that was laid out. Anna stood still next to Jinto.

Jinto tapped her arm. "What instrument do you play?"

"Violin," she answered absently. When he looked at her with confusion, she realized that he either didn't know the word or didn't know what a violin was. "It's an instrument with strings that you bow."

"We have stringed instruments, but you pluck them. But we mostly have pipes and drums," Jinto said. He motioned for her to follow him. "Come on. Iskaan is probably practicing his pipe now. You can show him."

Jinto led Anna through the tents away from the other children. Most of them looked even younger than Jinto and seemed to be playing some sort of game of tag. She heard them laughing and squealing in delight even from deep within the camp.

She cast a glance over her shoulder toward the table. She picked out Teyla from the crowd, but she couldn't see Radek. He somehow managed to blend in with the Athosians. Maybe it was his casual light-colored clothing. She saw Doctor Beckett and tried to see if Radek was nearby.

At least, until Jinto pulled back the flap on a tent and beckoned her inside.

Sunlight filtered through the white fabric, but more light was shed on the interior by a lantern in the middle of the space. A boy and two girls sat around the lantern. The boy held a set of what might have been panpipes, one girl had an instrument that looked like a lyre, and the other girl handled drums.

The boy with the panpipes looked up when they entered. "Jinto, you said you'd come get us when they were here." He was about the same age as Anna, maybe a year older.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Jinto asked. "Major Sheppard isn't with them."

"Oh." Their faces fell.

"He's a Lieutenant Colonel now," Anna put in. She didn't know if they'd know what that meant. "He got promoted."

Blank stares pretty well answered that question. Jinto continued, "Doctor Beckett is with them, though. Oh." He suddenly looked at Anna. "This is Anna. She lives on Atlantis and she has an instrument that she'll be playing today. Anna, this is Iskaan, Wreley, and Panin."

At the mention of the violin, they became interested. They all watched with wide eyes as she opened the case and pulled it out. Unlike the lyre and drums, the wood was smooth and a beautiful red. The bow was also wood, a genuinely red timber, and the bowstring was horsehair.

Iskaan seemed mesmerized by the instrument and reached out for it. He glanced at her. "May I touch it?"

Anna nodded. She held the violin closer so he could feel it. Wreley, Panin, and Jinto all touched it, too, carefully. Anna imagined it was soft in comparison with their rough, handmade instruments and probably made better notes.

She tucked the violin under her chin and bowed the strings. She had tuned it last night, and it apparently held in the jumper ride. Of course, it had. A puddle jumper wasn't like an airplane.

She started playing "Concerning Hobbits."

When she finished, the others sat in a quiet circle. She carefully held the bow and the neck together and looked at them. "Teyla told me that there's dancing at this festival. I don't know what Athosian dance is like… but I know some Czech, German, English, and Irish folk songs. I'm not good at…" She hesitated. "Making things up."

"We are," Iskaan said. "Play us one."

Anna nodded and brought the violin to her chin. Which one…? She wished she hadn't been playing off of sheet music for the better part of her life. She memorized a lot, though. She had that going for her. She lifted her bow.

#

"I suppose I finally get that concert." Elizabeth was suddenly standing beside him.

Radek smiled at her and nodded. He'd since lost sight of Anna, but he knew which tent she was in. Worst case, he could follow the lilting notes of the violin until he found her. But it was a beautiful day among friends. He'd forgotten how to not worry. Or, perhaps, it was that he didn't realize he was worried most of the time. Anything and everything could go wrong on Atlantis, and who would be called on to fix it?

Certainly not Kavanagh.

"I hope she enjoys herself."

"Me, too," Elizabeth said.

Radek hadn't wanted to admit it to himself, but now that they were safely on Atlantis, this was the part that worried him most. Would she have friends here? She seemed to keep mostly to herself. She barely talked to him. She barely talked to anyone.

Maybe she was just getting ready for the grueling work that lay ahead. Lessons would be starting soon and Rodney was no pushover when it came to expectations of intelligence.

"I think she will," Elizabeth said finally. "I don't think the Athosians have ever seen a violin before, and they seem to hold music in pretty high regard. Did you know Teyla sings?"

Radek shook his head. He knew approximately nothing about Teyla.

"She does," Elizabeth said. "It's beautiful." She suddenly paused and looked at him. "You know, I don't think I've ever found out what you do for fun?"

"I play chess," he said. It was probably his singular hobby these days. It was hard to have a hobby not related to some intellectual pursuit in Rodney's lab. He used to raise racing pigeons. He used to fish. He used to have a life somewhere. What had happened?

Atlantis happened. Now, Radek lived and breathed work and silently (and sometimes not silently) ridiculed those who didn't.

Now that he had to live and breathe something else, he wasn't sure what to do.

"That's all?" Elizabeth asked.

It didn't used to be. He used to find time to be up-to-date and ahead and have fun at the same time. Fun was a strange word on Atlantis. Work was fun. But it wasn't exactly relaxing. "Mostly."

"I think we need to get you a hobby," Elizabeth mused.

"I don't have time for hobbies," Radek said, and it was true.

"What do you do on your days off?" Elizabeth asked.

Days off. What an interesting concept. He used to sleep or catch up on the forgotten handful of projects. Everything cycled in emergency. Radek looked around. "This, now, I suppose. I used to work on personal projects."

She shook her head and clicked her tongue. "No good, Radek. We'll think of something…"

Elizabeth wandered over to Halling and Teyla. Radek followed for lack of other things to do. Other people to talk to. He only just realized how out of his element he was among the Athosians. He was used to being a step above everyone in company, except when Rodney was present. He was sure that he was so far above these people intellectually that he couldn't possibly see them if he looked down.

On the other hand, they had something that he didn't. These people had _people_.

Anna emerged from the tent with other boys and girls, violin in hand. Jinto ran to his father and tugged on his shirt sleeve. Halling immediately bent to hear whatever it was the boy had to say. Halling nodded and Jinto ran off again. The other children went to see their parents for a moment before leaving. Anna stood alone to one side, with her violin. She looked around, like a rabbit surrounded by coyotes.

Radek watched Anna follow the others to the field beside one of the many tables. Anna led the playing, a song that Radek wasn't familiar with. Of course, there were precious few songs he was familiar with. He didn't typically commit them to memory.

The other instruments began playing around her and a few Athosians started dancing.

Elizabeth clapped along with the beat of the music and leaned over Radek's shoulder so he could hear her. "I don't suppose you dance."

He wasn't going to, so it didn't matter whether he did or not. He shook his head, but said nothing, especially about that life he used to have. He lifted his hands to clap, since he was pretty good about keeping rhythm. Just in time he remembered his wrapped right hand. So he snapped instead.

Elizabeth laughed. He wasn't sure if she was laughing at him or not. "We'll find something for you, Radek. We will."

#

"Will you come back?"

Anna turned to Iskaan and shrugged. She smiled a little at the question, though she was sure it had more to do with her violin coming back than her. "I hope so. Today was fun."

"I hope so, too," Iskaan said. "Maybe I could teach you some Athosian folk songs."

Anna nodded. "I'd like that." And, to her surprise, she would. She'd never made a friend based on her music before. But this wasn't orchestra. The Athosians just played their music for fun. And now, so was she. "I can come in a few weeks with Doctor Beckett."

She hadn't been able to stop herself from saying it, but she couldn't wait to come back.

Iskaan smiled. "But I will see you on Atlantis. My father and I are going offworld to trade. Sometimes we stay on Atlantis for several days."

That sounded incredibly exciting. She hoped she would see him, but it didn't seem likely. "Atlantis is a little… big." It wasn't normal, she meant. Neither was this, not by a longshot. Normal was somewhere in between.

"It is," Iskaan agreed. "We lived there for a little while last year after the Wraith culled my village." He looked up toward the group from Atlantis and nodded at them. "It looks like they're leaving."

Anna cast a glance over her shoulder to see that, indeed, Doctor Beckett had finally finished packing up his backpack. Radek watched her critically. She nodded. "Yes. Well, I'll see you."

"See you, Anna."

* * *

 _A/N: I do_ not _ship Zelenka/Weir… And I'm not sure if that's because of Zelenka or because of Weir. Anyway, but I think that Zelenka does._ _(_ "You are the loop" _?_ _You precious, precious man...)_

 _As far as Anna, there aren't a lot of fifteen-year-olds (give or take a year) running around Atlantis. So that explains a lot of OCs. Fair warning. I'll try to keep the OC-to-canon ratio manageable. Though, you'll soon see some technically canon characters who may as well be OCs for all the time they were in the show… Such as next week. So see you next week._

* * *

 _Next time: I've got twenty pages of gibberish here. Can McKay translate?_


	21. Interesting Methods

_To Linda: haha yeah Friday! I look forward to it for more than the impending weekend myself. Thanks for keeping up with it. ^^_

 _Last time: Settling into Atlantis isn't quite so bad. There's Elizabeth. And Athosians. And Rodney. Though, I may want to rethink if that's a plus or minus to the situation._

* * *

 **Chapter 21. Interesting Methods.**

Doctor Collins walked into Rodney's lab with a frustrated sigh. "Why would you give her _this_ scenario?" he groaned.

"Give who what?" Rodney asked.

Radek looked up from the computer in the corner and went to see the tablet in Doctor Collins' hand. Rodney had taken to giving Anna scenarios from their days on Atlantis as sort of math/science homework. This was the third one to Radek's knowledge and each one had taken her no less than three days to puzzle out. Radek didn't remember when Rodney'd given her this one, but it was long enough ago that Radek didn't quite remember it.

Collins handed the tablet to Rodney.

Rodney smiled a bit mockingly as he took the computer. "It was a natural progression from the last one. What, is it too hard for you, Collins?"

Collins scoffed and slid into his chair. "I lost her about three pages in. I don't think she knows what she's doing."

Radek frowned and took the tablet from Rodney's hands. Still, he owed Collins.

"I will buy you a drink," Radek mumbled.

He and Collins had a tradition. Whenever Rodney would publicly condescend either one of them, the other would get them a drink—the Athosians brewed some strong stuff that was easily accessible and didn't taste terrible. Radek wasn't sure where it started, but no one else would buy them drinks. It wasn't particularly fair to Collins. Rodney made a blood sport of condescending Radek.

Rodney took the tablet before he got much past the first line. It wasn't even enough to see what the scenario might have been.

"What did you give her?" Radek asked.

"The grounding station scenario," Rodney answered.

Radek spent his spare time helping her with concepts, but there were few hours. Probably too few to go through the entire process behind saving their lives during the hurricane. Rodney wrote the scenarios and checked them when Collins didn't have time. Rodney didn't want Radek touching anything having to do with Anna's science education. According to Rodney, he would do more harm than good.

That was fine. Anna had been doing fine, better than fine, so far.

Apparently not today.

"No wonder this took her a week. This is ridiculous," Rodney mumbled.

Radek waited for the accusations that Anna was, indeed, his daughter. Too bad for her.

"What's wrong?" Radek asked as Rodney drew his finger up the tablet to scroll.

"This is twenty pages' worth of complete disaster." Rodney looked more and more disturbed the further he got.

 _It's okay_ , Radek tried to tell himself. _So she's not a prodigy. She's fifteen and working on a problem it took Rodney several hours to fix_.

Rodney shook his head. "She had no idea what the hell she was doing so she basically reinvented the wheel."

"To be fair…" Radek spoke up.

"And the really horrible thing is, this would have eventually worked."

Radek couldn't help his grin. "Really?" He went to Rodney's side to examine her processes.

"Yes, except she came up with the lightning in the margins of page one." Rodney paused and looked at Radek as if to ask why he hadn't come up with the lightning that early.

"She does seem to see the big picture more readily," Radek allowed.

He took the tablet and skimmed. From what he saw, Rodney was right. She didn't know many of the concepts and ideas she was trying to use had already been invented—her mind seemed to lean toward a combination of electrical engineering and... something unidentifiable in such a crude form. She wrote herself in circles around a simple equation or two that she didn't know, and some of her suppositions of the quality of Atlantis's ordinary power transfer systems were way off. But Rodney was right... it would have worked.

At the end, for her summary, she explained in painstakingly spaced elementary English what she was trying to do. She checked her numbers with simulations from Atlantis itself. It would have taken her days to complete it, but without time constraints she would have saved the city.

"Don't look so smug," Rodney said.

"Our solving this problem took you almost getting struck by lightning once," Radek pointed out. "She thought of it almost immediately."

Rodney mumbled something incoherent. "I guess I'll track her down sometime later and show her how it's really done then. I don't have time to write in corrections to twenty pages of rambling."

"You enjoy this, though."

It was obvious, at least from the last times Doctor Collins had brought back Anna's "homework." Rodney was no teacher, but he could follow anyone's train of thought usually before they said anything substantial. Usually followed with a, _Yes, I already thought of that, but it won't work because…_

Rodney was quick on his feet with solutions. He just took a while to think of simple things.

"Let's just say I appreciate the opportunity to shepherd a young mind that would otherwise have been lost," he said.

"Of course," Radek said. Who knew Rodney's ego would work to his benefit? "Thank you again for agreeing to do this, Rodney." He gathered up his tablet and headed for the door.

"It's nothing," Rodney said. "Actually, you know, it is something. It takes a considerable amount of time…"

Radek walked out of the lab. "Thank you; I have to go talk to Elizabeth about these investigations."

Rodney scoffed. "Sure, you do."

#

"Am I interrupting?" Radek asked.

It was a little late for Elizabeth to be working… Of course, it was a little late for him, too. He hadn't seen Anna since lunchtime and he promised himself he wouldn't do this… But everyone else was working, weren't they?

He saw from the control room that Elizabeth was alone and working on something on her tablet. Perhaps reading, since she would only touch the screen occasionally and then stare for long periods of time. Not that he watched for a long time…

No, he had to talk to one of the 'gate technicians first. He might have glanced up occasionally. To be sure he wouldn't be interrupting. He shouldn't be rude.

"Oh, no," she said. She looked somewhat embarrassed. "Come in, Radek."

"Thank you." He went into the office and looked around. "You have my list of systems discovered while we were on Earth?" She nodded. "Do you have any questions or alterations for my priority list?"

She turned in her chair just enough so that Radek could see what was on the screen. Solitaire.

He smiled.

"To be honest, I think you're a much better judge of priorities than I am. Though, I think your location-based approach was interesting."

"The thought was perhaps the more important systems were closer to the central tower or a transporter."

"Have you talked to Rodney about this?" she asked.

He hesitated. "Yes."

"Did he agree with you?"

"He said if I couldn't handle my own department, I was welcome to join his staff."

She tried to hide a smile of amusement. "I see. Well, I didn't see anything of pressing need. I have to admit I'm more than a little interested to know what the—I don't think you even had a technical name for it. It was found in the room three floors down, along with the texts on ascension."

"Ah." He smiled and nodded. It was third on his list and he couldn't imagine a project he was less interested to get into. He imagined he'd catalogue it and then push it off on someone else to figure out. "Yeah, that should be interesting…"

"You're more than welcome to go in any order you choose," Elizabeth said. "But you should let me know if you turn up anything interesting."

"Of course," he said. Maybe he should be a little more interested in that strange-looking blue contraption three floors down.

He was done. With the business side of things, anyway. He stepped further into the room. "How has Anna been doing? I mean, if you have a moment…"

"Of course. I should probably get out of here anyway. I haven't eaten dinner yet."

"Neither have I." He felt even more guilty. Anna had dinner alone tonight, unless she decided to have dinner with Jennifer.

"Anna is a bright girl, Radek," Elizabeth said as they walked out to the control room. "She has a memory like a steel trap. Although, I get the impression she isn't very much interested in sociology." She smiled a little fondly, as though she somehow appreciated it.

Radek smiled, too. He had to admit, he wouldn't know what to do with her if she decided to be some sort of diplomat like Elizabeth. It would be okay, of course. He just wouldn't know what to do. "Thank you for your time all the same."

"It's a welcome distraction," Elizabeth said. "I think Jennifer and the others feel the same. Maybe even Rodney."

"Rodney enjoys superiority." Radek couldn't help but smile with the thought he wasn't being very fair. "But he can be good at explaining things when he wants to." Rodney almost seemed to enjoy "shepherding young minds" that were interested in learning, even though most of the "young minds" that worked on Atlantis weren't _that_ young anymore. As long as someone wasn't being irredeemably stupid or self-assured, he was willing to take a moment to explain things. No doubt it did well for Rodney's ego. But Radek also didn't doubt that Anna could learn the most from Rodney.

But that didn't mean it was a good idea. It didn't mean Rodney was a good teacher. "I would never be able to give her the sort of education she'd get on those subjects by myself," he allowed.

"I understand Rodney's been… protective of her science education."

Radek knew a carefully-selected word when he heard one, especially from Elizabeth. "He has interesting methods," Radek said as they walked into the transporter together.

Elizabeth touched the dot for the mess hall. "But it's probably a good idea that you have him do it instead of you," Elizabeth offered. "It will give her more than one model for performance, and you a chance to get to know her outside the context of science." They stepped out into the mess hall and to the table with the after-hours selection.

Outside of science? Of course, there was an outside. But he wasn't sure what was out there. He'd failed out there all the other times he'd tried. He picked up a sandwich wrapped in cellophane—just about the only thing available outside the usual meal times. Elizabeth picked one up, also.

She motioned to the balcony. "Care to have dinner with me?" She laughed and looked at her wrapped sandwich.

"Ah." He sighed. He should be with Anna right now, shouldn't he? On the other hand, it didn't take long to eat a sandwich. Maybe he could practice getting to know someone outside the context of science.

Elizabeth was already sitting at a small table only big enough for two.

"I'd like that."

She grinned and unwrapped her sandwich. "Good."

* * *

 _Next time: At least I can talk to strangers._


	22. New Kid

_Last time: Making sure Atlantis is a good environment for Anna, Radek ventures out of the lab to (covertly) make sure she's happy._ _At least she's doing well enough in science for McKay to question the biological relationship between Anna and Radek._

* * *

 **Chapter 22. New Kid.**

The new kids always ate alone. Unless they were Anna, then they ate alone whether they were new or not. Radek told her Doctor McKay had scheduled a meeting—he thought on purpose—during breakfast, so he couldn't eat with her as usual. So Anna sat near the wall and watched.

Atlantis was full of all sorts of interesting people that argued over the most interesting things. It seemed like someone was always arguing, but never about the things one might see on soap opera. These were the kinds of people who didn't have the time of day for interpersonal relationships, but they found plenty of reasons to want to wring one another's necks anyway.

And then there was that guy. Doctor McKay had called him "the caveman." Anna just didn't know that cavemen were so attractive.

"He's not a caveman," Colonel Sheppard had objected. "We found him in a cave. That's not the same thing."

"It's about the same thing. Besides, have you looked at the guy?" Doctor McKay had returned. "He makes Conan the Barbarian look like my kid sister."

It was an exaggeration. But he made the hundred most eligible bachelors in those magazines look like her high school chemistry partner. That was no exaggeration.

 _You're being silly_.

He was sort of caveman-like. He sat down alone at one of the long tables, his plate piled high with food. She got the feeling that he deliberately misused his utensils and he snarled at everyone that walked by. Suddenly he looked up and right at her.

She looked away immediately. What in the world was she thinking, staring like that? It wasn't like she'd never seen a person from another planet before.

Although, to be fair, they were a fairly new occurrence to her outside the Athosians.

Anna quickly gathered her plate, cup, and utensils even though she wasn't finished. He was still staring. Unfortunately, she had to walk right past his table to get to the door.

"Aren't you a little young to be here?" he asked.

She paused and looked at him. "I'm Doctor Zelenka's daughter."

He shrugged and waved what looked like a chicken wing. "No idea who that is."

"He's one of the senior science team members," she said.

He nodded in a way that gave her the distinct impression that he really didn't care. Well, he asked. Sort of.

"I'm Anna," she said.

"Ronon."

"Colonel Sheppard said they found you offworld."

"Yep."

"Are you staying?"

"Don't know."

Anna nodded. There wasn't really a lot to say to that, was there? "Nice talking to you."

"You, too."

At least he didn't sound completely sarcastic like Doctor McKay. She hurried off. Still hungry. She stopped only long enough to get a cup of coffee. She didn't know if it should be black or not, sugar or not. She decided to just leave it and stuffed some sugar packets in her jacket pocket.

She always felt out of place no matter where she was on Atlantis, except when she was in her room. She especially felt out of place here, in Radek's lab. Radek was always quick to invite her in and try to make her feel like she should be there... It never quite worked, especially when everyone was talking so far over her head, she'd need a telescope just to see.

She leaned into doorway. "Ahoj," * she said, before realizing that there were two other people in here. "Good morning," she revised.

Radek looked up immediately. "Good morning." He looked tired and irritated. This morning was certainly not good. That usually happened after he had to sit listening to Doctor McKay for an hour.

Anna walked in and put the coffee on the table at his elbow. "I don't know if you like sugar."

"Ah." He smiled at the coffee, then at her. "I think I just like coffee. Thank you." He didn't seem quite as irritated anymore. Coffee was magic like that.

She crossed her arms on his desk and looked at his screen. "You're welcome." Surprisingly, after all the homework assignments Doctor McKay had given her regarding Atlantis, she was pretty familiar with what she was looking at now. "Are these the 'gate crystals?" she asked, pointing.

"Yes."

She nodded. She knew what they looked like, but they were so complicated that Doctor McKay had little idea exactly what they did. She guessed they were more organized and stable than any other system she'd studied yet, which made her think that they were probably fairly easy to understand from the right perspective. If only they could find the right perspective.

But what did she know?

Anna looked around and realized that she didn't actually see many of the people she'd expected to see. "Doctor McKay isn't in his lab." She'd peered in as she walked by.

"He went offworld," he said. "Hence the morning meeting."

"He's in a bad mood?"

He shrugged and took a gulp of coffee.

Doctor McKay was rarely pleasant. Once he came to see her in person to talk about a scenario he'd given her to solve to "save Atlantis." It was apparently based on a real situation and had Anna been in charge, the city would have broken into flotsam and everyone would have died. All the same, she liked him. Didn't hate him, anyway. Didn't work with him every day, either…

He was interesting. That was more precise.

"How is your hand?" She looked at his right hand, where only a day or so ago Doctor Beckett had removed the gauze and bandages for the last time.

Radek turned his hand over and compared them. His right hand was slightly swollen, the skin was a darker shade and wrinkly. That would go away in a few more days. "It's alright," he said. "At least I can use it." He bent his fingers and went back to his computer.

"I met the, um…" She didn't want to call him "the caveman" in front of everyone. She could call him "the alien," but that didn't seem fair. He looked just like any of them from Earth. She settled for something more specific. "His name is Ronon."

He looked at her. "I don't think I've even seen him. He's only been here a few days."

Well, Anna had the feeling that Radek would have remembered him if he saw him. Maybe. He was big and intimidating, but Anna couldn't imagine him going near a science lab. Ever. Maybe a little judgmental of her to think that…

He did have one thing in common with the scientists in here. "He doesn't say a lot."

They were interrupted when a lieutenant ran into the lab and looked at Radek. "Doctor Zelenka," he said. "There's been an incident. You and your team need to get ready to go offworld."

"Offworld?" Radek looked about as excited as she felt about going to the dentist. All the same, he rose from his seat and started gathering his things.

Anna glanced between them. She was excited, even if he wasn't. "Can I come?" Considering the most interesting thing to happen to her in days was to see a caveman. Not a caveman. A man they'd found in a cave.

"Is it safe?" Radek looked at the lieutenant.

He shrugged in response. "Doctor Weir will have to approve that, but we have to go."

Anna picked up Radek's coffee.

"Doctor McKay will be happier if I take longer," he mumbled.

"Pretty sure he won't. Doctor McKay is in the computer of a downed Wraith dart."

There went all her chances of going. She was going to follow until she was told not to, though. She watched Radek and his colleagues gather an obscene number of gadgets and equipment. It was easy enough to cart the things from the lab to the transporter, from the transporter to the 'gate room. They stood in the 'gate room for several minutes while the science team wrestled with flak jackets.

Colonel Sheppard descended from the stairs to the control room. Anna guessed he was up there talking to Elizabeth about whatever trouble Doctor McKay had gotten himself in. He spied Anna standing to one side with Radek's cup of coffee.

"Oh!" he said with a grin. "Field trip?"

Anna smiled back. Surely Colonel Sheppard would agree this was a good idea. If anything, she got the feeling that he could at least keep most danger at bay. "May I?" she asked.

Radek sighed while Sheppard gave Weir thumbs up in the control room. "Let's get you a jacket, Anna. Might be a little big."

Anna couldn't help notice her heart pounding in excitement as she slid into the vest. It was very heavy, and she doubted it would save her if something came up. She'd just have to stay close to Sheppard. And stay out of sight. She glanced toward Radek, hunched under the weight of the jacket, ducking behind a pile of technical equipment even though there wasn't anything dangerous in the 'gate room.

She could always hide. She figured that sort of thing was in her blood...

This was definitely one of the more exciting things Anna had ever done. Riding on a spaceship was one. Going through a Stargate for the first time was another. Should she be nervous? What did it feel like? A bunch of people went through the 'gate many times a day even. They were fine and they went through again the next day. It would have to be fine. Right?

It would be fine?

Then she noticed how pale Radek and the rest of the science team were. Maybe they were just scientists who had never done anything more exciting than add two creams to their coffee instead of three.

Colonel Sheppard didn't seem worried, though. He seemed to have all the confidence in the world. After all, who wouldn't? When brawn and bullets didn't solve the Pegasus galaxy's problems, his scientists did. Anna was tired of hearing all the stories of when Doctor McKay did this-or-that and saved the city. Radek was always on the periphery of those stories. But maybe she'd get a chance to see what he could do.

Colonel Sheppard stepped up next to Radek and grinned. "First time offworld, Zelenka?"

"Um…" Radek pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Yes."

"I feel like I should bring a bottle of champagne," Colonel Sheppard said. "Break it on the bow."

"Funny." Radek's voice, nevertheless, conveyed he didn't find it funny at all. "Shall we go?"

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Ahoj = "hello"

* * *

 _A/N: I know. This isn't exactly true to the episode in a way Anna couldn't have influenced… But why is John hanging out in the field while Hansen radios Atlantis? It's not like he needs more sun… Rodney is stuck in a_ Wraith dart _. This warrants a personal report from the mission commander. Also, I skipped Runner. What of it?_

 _And, yeah, it's funny because Ronon is Conan the Barbarian in another universe by way of our universe._

* * *

 _Next time: I know it looks like it sometimes, but we don't just bang on the keyboard and hope something happens._


	23. Complex

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _To Linda: It's true. This is my AU so I can do what I want. But I like to change the story in ways the single character I've added could have changed it. I don't know why. But, then, you can't change a character so significantly like I did with giving Zelenka a daughter and expect everything to stay the same. So things veer off course, it just takes time. ... ... Maybe I just like to hear myself talk. haha_

 _Last time: Anna's first trip through the Stargate is to check out a downed Wraith dart Doctor McKay happens to be trapped in. This can't possibly go worse than it already is. Right?  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 23. Complex.**

"What do you think?" Sheppard asked.

It looked like Earth, like they'd just been traveling outside a major city somewhere near home. They traipsed through a wide open field ringed with trees, dotted with wildflowers and ragged with grass. It looked like the perfect place to put a farm or settlement. Not the perfect place for a bunch of scientists, though. If stereotypes held true, some of them probably had horrible allergies. And it looked like the season for tree pollen.

Anna looked at Colonel Sheppard. "It's nice," she said. "If you ignore the Wraith dart."

He smiled at that.

"Do you think the Wraith will come back?"

"If they were going to, they would have by now," Colonel Sheppard said.

She arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"It'd make your dad feel better, so that's what I'm going with," he said with an impish grin. Anna looked toward the sky with that declaration, but... well, she probably trusted Sheppard. He wouldn't put people in danger for no reason, and Wraith were nothing to mess around with. "As far as the Wraith are concerned, they're done here."

Anna glanced around and tried to imagine living here. Tried to imagine the sky streaked with the ebony darts, her friends and family scooped up. _No survivors_. It made the Wraith's return unlikely. But it also made Colonel Sheppard's cavalier attitude a tad inappropriate.

On the other hand, he was serious at the same time. It was hard to explain.

"How's it going?" Colonel Sheppard walked over to Radek. "Did you find what we want?"

Doctor Beckett was leaning over his shoulder, looking at the screen and nodding as Radek explained, in Czech, what needed to happen next. Anna had seen this sort of thing happen before. Doctor Beckett was interested in everything, even things he wasn't interested in. As long as someone wanted to explain what they were doing, Doctor Beckett was a listening ear.

"Um, well, yes," Radek said. He fiddled with his glasses again and gestured at the laptop he'd been showing Doctor Beckett. "But it's very complex. This interface controls the machine that dematerializes people, stores their information, and then rematerializes them again when commanded to."

"Great," Colonel Sheppard said. "Command it to."

" _Did he not hear you say 'it's very complex'?_ " Anna asked.

Doctor Beckett smiled at her, almost chuckled.

"I can't," Radek said to Colonel Sheppard. "The rematerializer is storing two lifesigns."

Colonel Sheppard looked at Anna. Probably scolding her for mocking him in another language. "Well, that's good," Colonel Sheppard said.

"Yes," Radek agreed. "But there is only enough power in the Dart's energy cell to successfully rematerialize one of them." He pointed at the two signals shown on the laptop. "Power to the rematerializer has been completely severed and emergency back-up power is completely run down."

Anna sighed when she saw the signals indicated on the laptop. Of course, they were completely androgynous signals… She didn't know anything about it, of course, but both of them looked about the same, anyway. At least, Anna thought with some form of macabre amusement, there was no difference in taste between the male and female life force, or else they might take a little bit more care to label the food in their dart refrigerators.

"Okay?" Colonel Sheppard said.

"You have to decide which one to beam out," Radek finished.

Doctor Beckett shook his head. "That's a terrible choice to have to make."

"No, it's easy," Colonel Sheppard said. "Beam out McKay. He'll figure out how to get Cadman free."

"No, no, no," Radek said. "I'm sorry. I was unclear."

"You can't tell who is who," Anna spoke up. Even she could see that, but maybe the colonel wasn't looking. Besides… why did they need McKay for this?

"Yes." Radek smiled at her, but quickly replaced it with a dutiful frown when he looked to the colonel. Sheppard didn't seem to share his mirth. "They just read as lifesigns."

"Perfect," Colonel Sheppard muttered. "Alright. That one." He pointed to one of the life signs.

"Can't we wait?" Anna asked. She looked at Radek. He looked like he'd been punched in the stomach, but he glanced at Colonel Sheppard for approval.

"Go," Colonel Sheppard said. He motioned to the scientists standing around to move back.

" _We've been here half an hour—what if something goes wrong?_ " Anna asked.

Radek sighed and shook his head. "Colonel, we should bring the dart back to Atlantis. We will probably be able to reverse-engineer a power source that—"

"Probably?" Colonel Sheppard said.

Anna frowned. She glanced at Radek.

"No," he said. "No, we can."

Colonel Sheppard stood next to the gaggle of scientists, out of the line of sight of the Wraith beam. He motioned at Radek to get on with it.

Anna stepped back. " _This isn't good,_ " she mumbled. " _This can't be good_."

All the same, she watched in dismay as Radek gave the unit the command. A white beam of light shot over the grass a few feet away, leaving Doctor McKay in its place. Half a second later, Doctor McKay collapsed in the grass.

Doctor Beckett—and everyone else—was at his side a moment later. Doctor Beckett checked for a pulse, then looked back at Colonel Sheppard. "His pulse is stable, but I need to get him back to Atlantis." He motioned for one of his medical team to bring him something. It was apparently some special medical team sign language.

Radek stood back, looking horrified. After all... he could have killed someone. At least, to hear Radek tell the story of how much he simply _didn't know_ about the machine he'd just entered a few commands into.

Colonel Sheppard tapped his radio. "Teyla, Lorne, help the Doc head back to the city with McKay. We're gonna stay here with Zelenka and try to bring back as much of the dart as possible."

Anna stood back and watched Doctor Beckett and his team load Doctor McKay onto a stretcher. She didn't know anything about Wraith beaming technology, but he seemed to look okay. Despite the fact that he'd immediately collapsed. Not pale, and all his arms and legs were present and accounted for. Maybe just getting down to business was the way things worked in the Pegasus galaxy.

On the other hand, she couldn't ignore how irritated and distressed Radek looked. Jumping in feet-first might have been the way Colonel Sheppard did things, but it wasn't the way Radek did them.

She went next to Radek, where he crouched on the ground next to the dart. " _Why did you do that?_ " she asked quietly, kneeling next to him.

" _With Rodney's help, we can cobble together a solution for Cadman_ ," he said.

" _Cobble together?_ " Anna asked. She was unconvinced. This wasn't the person she remembered. Didn't people usually complain that he took too long, went over things ten and twenty times before going over it another couple dozen times?

But everything he ever did was perfect.

" _It will work,_ " he said. " _This is Pegasus_."

Pegasus. She sighed, and nodded. She shouldn't be questioning him. But he had sort of let Colonel Sheppard bully him into a solution that wasn't really a solution at all. What did Colonel Sheppard do? If needed someone to shoot Doctor McKay, Colonel Sheppard would be the one to call.

But as long as someone was stuck in a Wraith rematerializer, Anna could think of a few people she'd choose over Colonel Sheppard to call.

" _Can I help?_ " she asked.

" _Yeah, yeah._ " He looked up at one of the other scientists. "Schreiber, let's get this moving." He looked at her. "We'll need a winch."

Anna nodded. "I'll help Schreiber pick up the pieces."

Schreiber was on the top of the dart, peering down into it, probably trying to figure out how to tow it back to the 'gate with as few problems as possible. Anna saw the German flag on her shoulder. "It looks like a dinosaur skeleton," she said.

"It does, doesn't it?" Schreiber laughed, but it died away pretty quickly. "Mixed with an arachnid."

Anna shivered at the mental picture of an eight-legged raptor while she looked at the underside of the dart. It seemed a lot of its mechanical parts were encapsulated by something less… mechanical. And more slimy and disgusting. "Is it supposed to be gooey like this?"

"Wraith ships are partly organic," Schreiber said. "Fortunately, this is probably what we need." She held up an obviously broken black thing. It was a strange shape and slick with whatever organics made up the ship. "This…" she said, then pointed around on the ground and broken fragments of the dart's undercarriage. "And that. And that. That over there."

Anna laughed. "I get it." She went around and picked up all the small bits from the grass she could find, laying them out carefully on a tray. She heard Radek swearing at his computer a few steps away. He slammed it shut a few obscenities later.

Colonel Sheppard better hurry with that winch.

* * *

 _A/N: This episode irritates me a little as far as Zelenka goes. He seems too careful about the things he does (Trinity?) ("What are you? Union?" –potentially my favorite line regarding Zelenka ever) to just haphazardly pick a random thing and go. John? Not so much (except… Trinity? Somebody help…). So I decided John instigates this whole mess against Zelenka's wishes._

 _All that to say, forgive Zelenka for the next little while. He's very stressed and very unlike himself. He'll get back to normal. Eventually. It's just one thing after another for this poor guy right now…_

* * *

 _Next time: Things are happening on Atlantis! This is the most exciting thing to happen to me in months, at least! So why do I have to be here?_


	24. Fit In

_To Linda: Huh. Yeah. Good call. I didn't realize that's exactly what I've been using her speaking Czech for. Very much so in the next chapter... I feel that focus shifts a bit later, but it certainly serves the purpose for now._

 _Last time: Sheppard's pretty bossy. But I guess that's his job. And now we'll do our job._

* * *

 **Chapter 24. Fit In.**

"Can I go now?" Anna asked. She couldn't think of a place she'd rather not be than in the mess hall talking about science when science was happening right now in the hangar bay. Wraith dart science, which seemed way more interesting than this.

Collins ran a hand through his blond hair while he checked her work. Anna didn't doubt that he hated this. On the other hand, he'd apparently volunteered for it. He said he used to teach, but wasn't clear on what, exactly. Anna imagined he was a professor at a research university, like Radek wanted to be at one time. More research than teaching, but apparently he had the aptitude. Doctor McKay, who as far as Anna knew had never taught a day in his life, made him his aide.

"Just because McKay gets caught in a Wraith dart doesn't mean the world stops spinning…" Collins mumbled. "Remind your dad of that, would you?"

Anna smirked. A lot of people sure acted like the world just stopped spinning, Radek included. And Anna had to agree. Doctor McKay was a brilliant scientist, but just as replaceable as anyone. Right? He was just so used to thinking on his feet and snatching the city from the jaws of death that it was sort of second nature by now. Experience counted for a lot in another galaxy.

"I will," Anna said finally. "But I can do this later, yes?" She pulled up the most recent homework assignment. This one had to do with the _Daedalus_ and, to be honest, she'd much rather have Wraith dart homework to do. "I can help with the Wraith dart in the hangar. That's almost homework."

Collins seemed to consider that… for half a second. "No, it's not."

"But practical," Anna pointed out.

"Less practical than the _Daedalus_ ," Collins said.

Anna couldn't argue with that. On the other hand, it looked like she was going to be in the Pegasus galaxy for a considerable amount of time. That made knowledge of Wraith darts very practical. But no one really knew a lot about Wraith darts, either, so it was almost like not learning. It was more like guessing.

"It can be the laboratory portion of classwork," Anna suggested.

"We'll talk to McKay about that later," Collins said. "Right now, _Daedalus_. You've mislabeled half the junctions." He took a second glance at her labeled maps and schematics of the _Daedalus_ and laughed. "And the mess hall is over here."

"I'm very distracted," Anna said, snatching the tablet from him. She glanced at her labels while Collins went back to what he was doing… painting a set of acorns. She was about to ask him what in the world he was doing, but decided that the junctions were more important. If she finished the junction labels, then... But there were over a hundred labels.

She was never getting to the hangar. "I'm sorry. The English is wrong. It's very technical."

Collins shook his head, grinning in amusement. "The mess hall isn't technical."

"Who cares about the mess hall?"

"If you were hungry, you might," Collins pointed out as he straightened out the lines on the isosceles of the tiny Czech flag on his acorn.

"I'm not hungry. What are you doing?" She couldn't help it anymore.

Collins smiled. "Painting."

"Why?" That was not at all the question she wanted to ask. More like, why are you painting an acorn? Why are you painting a Czech flag on an acorn? What about this Canadian acorn?

"My brother and I used to do this when we were kids," he said. "We had a huge oak tree in the yard and my mom used to put some of the acorns in a bowl in the middle of the kitchen table. Some sort of autumn decoration, I guess. We got snowed in one day, and we were bored, so we decided to paint the whole bowl of them."

"So you paint them when you're bored?" Anna asked.

"I usually start them in meetings. Finish them on lunch," he said. He pinched the Czech acorn between his thumb and finger. "What do you think?" He turned it about by the cap so she could see all sides. He'd painted it a pale brown color, sort of khaki. One side had the flag, rotated a little to the right were two silver circles.

Anna squinted at it. "I don't know. The flag looks fine. Why the Czech flag?"

Collins shrugged, lining it up with a dozen other acorns on the top of the bin he'd brought filled with painting materials. The Canadian acorn, a Japanese acorn, an American acorn with a yellow ring painted on its top. Another American acorn had a brown line down one side and silver boxes on the other.

It was one of the weirdest things she'd ever seen.

Collins motioned for Anna to give him the tablet back. "Let's see if we can fix this."

"I will relabel everything, I promise. But I need Radek to help me translate."

She held on to the tablet while Collins seemed to consider her position. He looked like he was giving in.

Anna smiled at him as sweetly as she could. "Can I please go to the hangar?"

Collins didn't look convinced, but nodded anyway. "I guess one of us should be there." He sighed and stood, gathering his things from the table. "Have fun."

Anna almost squealed in excitement as she picked up her tablet and rose. She turned and bolted down the aisle between tables—right into Colonel Sheppard and his tray of food.

Fortunately, Colonel Sheppard's reflexes were excellent. "Whoa, Anna, where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm sorry—the hangar." She gasped and looked around to see if anyone was watching.

The caveman was watching, smirking like this was the most amusing thing he'd seen all day. Anna frowned at him, which he seemed to find even more amusing.

"Well, take a deep breath. Relax. Nothing interesting will be happening for a little while." Sheppard sighed and looked at his plate. "Just came from there. Something about a transformer…"

"I thought it probably needed something to convert raw power into something more stable," Anna said with a nod.

"Oh. Good. Maybe you should go down there." Colonel Sheppard picked up a floret of broccoli from his plate and popped it in his mouth. He nodded at her tablet. "What do you got there?"

Anna glanced at it. "Homework."

"Don't you think you should do that first?" he asked. "Something about… work now, play later?"

Anna really hoped not. Besides, it wasn't like working with the Wraith dart wouldn't be some version of work. It was just that she really, really wanted to do that instead. "I will do my homework. Here, look." She pulled up the map of the _Daedalus_ and the junction schematics. "This is right in Czech, but I need Radek to help me translate it."

"Maybe I can help," he said, taking the tablet.

Anna frowned at him. "You don't know Czech."

"No," Colonel Sheppard agreed. "But I do know English. Oh, oh," he said, and pointed at a Czech word. "I know that one. Your dad's been teaching me some words. That's the head."

Anna frowned. "I don't know…"

"The bathroom," he explained. He proceeded to tell her how to say, "Kde je toaleta?" * Anna almost laughed. He smiled and took her tablet as he went to sit down across from Ronon. "Ronon, have you met Anna?"

Ronon waved at Anna with fingers smudged with mashed potatoes. "Yeah. Some scientist's daughter."

Anna pursed her lips and watched him pick up another handful of mashed potato and shove it in his mouth. Maybe he actually was a caveman. Colonel Sheppard watched him with approximately the same look on his face.

"Yeah. So what do you think of Atlantis?" Colonel Sheppard asked.

"It's fine."

Anna grinned at Colonel Sheppard. Apparently Colonel Sheppard ascribed to the same philosophy Anna did. A caveman was more interesting than homework.

"What do you think you're going to do when you're done here?" he continued, propping up the tablet to look at it while he ate. He glanced at Ronon.

Ronon looked at him for just a moment and continued eating. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Colonel Sheppard shook his head. "No! Stay as long as you like. I'm just saying, you know your way around." He paused. "You can take care of yourself in a fight. You hate the Wraith as much as we do…"

Colonel Sheppard paused when Ronon gave him a glare that could have killed.

"Okay, maybe more than we do," Colonel Sheppard allowed. "But the point is, we could use a guy like you around here and you look like you could use a place to stay."

Ronon paused to take a swig out of a gallon jug of water. Then he glanced over his shoulder at a guard that Anna had only barely noticed before. Must have been following Ronon around. He was new. And a caveman. Couldn't let people like that just wander around Atlantis.

"I'm not sure I fit in here." He stuffed a few cubes of Jell-o in his mouth to emphasize his point.

Anna laughed. Couldn't help herself. Colonel Sheppard and Ronon both looked at her in surprise. "Hm," she mumbled. "Well, neither do I." They continued staring.

Ronon looked at Colonel Sheppard. "Do I have to decide now or can I finish eating?"

"Oh, take your time," Colonel Sheppard answered with a wave. Then he unwrapped a fork and knife from a napkin on his tray. He handed them to Ronon. "And try these. They work great." He watched Ronon use the fork and to shovel yet more food into his mouth than fit.

"Right." Colonel Sheppard blinked once at Ronon and then looked at Anna's tablet. "What do we have here…?"

"Can I just go to the hangar?" Anna asked.

"Give me a minute. Well, first of all, the mess hall is over here," he said.

"Yes," Anna sighed. "I know. I'm distracted."

Colonel Sheppard chuckled, nodded, and continued to look at the tablet. "I can tell." He looked at her sideways. "What does this mean?"

It was one of the junction labels she was sure she got right. "Do you want me to explain it to you?" She sighed.

"No. Never mind. But if you ever need help with maps and stuff, I can read English."

"Thank you!" Anna was too busy snatching her tablet off the table and dashing away to hear anything Colonel Sheppard was saying.

She did know one thing: as far as that table was concerned, she didn't fit in at all.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Where is the bathroom?

* * *

 _Next time: You wanna say that to my face!? Oh. ... I guess you do..._


	25. Fumbles McStupid

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: There are more exciting things to do around Atlantis than homework. Like checking out that Wraith dart we just brought back (in chapter 23) to figure out how to get Cadman out of McKay's head._

* * *

 **Chapter 25. Fumbles McStupid.**

" _I hope I'm not in the way_ ," Anna said. She looked around and dodged out of the way of a couple of scientists walking past, consulting a tablet together. They seemed pretty irritated, and spoke in rushed English.

" _You aren't_ ," Radek assured her. He looked up at one of the monitors he was working on, and then at the Wraith dart. " _This is a very specific, highly stable stream of power that we need..._ " He had about a dozen reference texts up on another monitor... everything they knew about Wraith darts. It wasn't a lot of information, all things considered, since they were adding to this compendium of knowledge as they spoke. The information they were adding wasn't working and in a thousand pieces, so to say they knew "very little" about the dart was probably generous.

Radek went to a nearby table and stared dejectedly at the tray with the transformer pieces in it. Appropriately, labeled "Transformer Bits" in huge block letters that were most certainly not Radek's. " _This is a very specialized transformer..._ " He picked up one of the little black pieces.

" _But you can reverse engineer one, right?_ "

He rounded a wall of computers and displays until he stood in front of them. " _Eventually_ ," he said.

Anna frowned. " _Why did you let Colonel Sheppard make you rematerialize him before you were finished?_ " It might have been a gamble, what with how unstable the signals were on the planet before they hooked the device up to some power. But everything had worked out, more or less.

Radek looked at her, his eyebrows down over his eyes like he was confused. Maybe he didn't know why he'd done it. Or maybe he thought the answer was supposed to be obvious. _Because he's Colonel Sheppard_ didn't seem like a good answer to Anna... but maybe it should have?

Except Doctor McKay was storming into the hangar. Elizabeth, Colonel Sheppard, and Doctor Beckett were on his heels. He stood indignantly at the entrance to the hangar and looked at Doctor Beckett.

"Carson," he said. "You want to tell Zelenka or should I?"

"Well, Radek," Doctor Beckett started, but Doctor McKay interrupted him.

"You really screwed something up because when you rematerialized me, you managed to also rematerialize Cadman's consciousness in my brain. Good job."

Radek looked flabbergasted. With good reason. Anna wasn't sure exactly what Doctor McKay meant, or even if such a thing was possible. But it was a big problem.

Colonel Sheppard's fault. She was sure.

"What?" Radek finally managed. "No, no. How did that happen?"

"You don't know," Doctor McKay said, almost like a question. But then he interrupted himself. "Of course, you don't know." Then he snapped his fingers impatiently. "What have you got?"

Radek pointed to the Transformer Bits tray and explained what it was and why he'd done what he'd done. As if he needed to explain that—Doctor McKay could have been wiped from existence without his help.

Maybe. It seemed a reasonable conclusion. Almost anything seemed reasonable at the moment: Doctor McKay had another consciousness in his brain.

"Oh." Doctor McKay tossed a piece of the transformer back into the tray as soon as Radek finished explaining what he was trying to do. "Nice work!"

"We were running out of power—I knew hardly anything about the machine," Radek said. Explaining. Again. Everything except the most crucial information that it _wasn't his idea_. "Who would have thought this could be one of the side effects?"

"So instead of waiting to understand what it was you were doing, you just mashed on the keyboard hoping something would happen!" Doctor McKay finished.

"You're alive, aren't you?"

Doctor McKay didn't answer that, probably because the answer was yes. At least they'd gotten that much right. Then he shouted, apparently at no one, "He doesn't know how to fix it!"

"What?" Radek asked.

Doctor McKay gave Radek an acidic smile and pointed at his head. "I'm talking to her."

"You can hear her thoughts?" Elizabeth spoke up from the doorway.

Anna hoped that didn't go both ways. Poor Cadman.

"No, not her thoughts, thank god," Doctor McKay said. "I can hear when she's speaking. Or when she's trying to speak."

Elizabeth turned to Doctor Beckett. "Are you sure he should have been discharged from the infirmary, Carson?" she asked.

Doctor McKay rolled his eyes.

"According to the MRI, he's as healthy as he ever was," Doctor Beckett answered.

"Well, we can't all be track stars, now, can we?" Doctor McKay asked the air again. He realized everyone was staring at him and said, "Her again."

Colonel Sheppard looked to Doctor Beckett. "Maybe there's something an MRI wouldn't pick up, if you know what I mean."

Doctor Beckett looked like he was trying very hard not to smile.

"I'm not crazy," Doctor McKay said. "I just have another consciousness in my brain."

"So you just look crazy," Colonel Sheppard said.

"I'm sure I do, but only because Doctor Fumbles McStupid over here was in way over his head!"

Anna glanced between Radek and Doctor McKay, momentarily indignant. A feeling Radek obviously shared, along with incensed humiliation. Now Anna knew why Radek didn't seem to like Doctor McKay that much.

She looked at Radek. " _He doesn't know anything about the dart either!_ "

He held his hand up to stop her from talking about halfway through her tirade, but he didn't say any of that. "Yes. Yes, I made a mistake trying to save your life. Now, do you want to try to fix it or do you want to continue to berate me some more?"

"I'm perfectly capable of doing both at the same time," Doctor McKay mumbled. He gave Anna a sideways glance as though he'd only just realized she was there. Then he looked at Radek. "I assume you've tried to run one of our own generators on it?"

Radek took a deep breath and then shook his head, fiddling with the tablet he'd been carrying around. "It's not as simple as that. The trick is having it interface with the Wraith machine in real time. The power fluctuations are huge and if we overshoot just a little, we're, uh, screwed up. Again."

Everyone looked at Doctor McKay, but he wasn't looking at anything in particular. Just the floor. He should have been looking at the floor—he should have been ashamed of himself, talking to one of his colleagues like that. If it were up to Anna, she'd never help him ever again.

"Yeah, um, if we can maybe run an interface program, that will take care of the, uh…" Doctor McKay paused, and shook his head. He looked up and tried to make eye-contact with Radek, but immediately looked somewhere else. "Here's what I want us to try. We'll take a, uh, naquadah generator and, um…"

Doctor McKay spun around and screamed at the floor, "Yes! What?" He paused. "Well, stop asking stupid questions!"

Anna hadn't quite recovered from his outburst when Doctor Beckett said quietly, "Rodney…"

Doctor McKay was still talking to the floor. "I will get you out of here, okay? Now just be a good little girlie and keep quiet." Another pause. "And do you have a degree in physics, hm? What about mechanical engineering?"

"Rodney?" Elizabeth said gently.

Doctor McKay whirled toward Elizabeth and shouted, "Yes!" He seemed to realize that he was no longer talking to the floor and took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm sorry. What, please?"

"Why don't we let Zelenka handle this?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Doctor McKay said.

"No, you're not," Colonel Sheppard said.

"And I'd like you to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer," Elizabeth continued.

"I think it'd be more useful if I…"

"Rodney," Elizabeth interrupted. "I'm not asking you."

Anna bit her lip while Doctor McKay turned a glance around the hangar. He looked livid and humiliated. But he deserved whatever of that he got. Except she noticed Radek looked almost apologetic.

Doctor McKay turned toward the entrance to the hangar. "Fine." He left without another word, leaving the scientists alone with the Wraith dart.

Radek sighed and looked around. "You heard him," he said. "Let's hook up a naquadah generator and see if that will do it."

" _You said it isn't that simple_ ," Anna said.

"It isn't." His pointed glare was probably for her Czech as much as it was for her yelling earlier. "The naquadah generator doesn't put out power stream as refined as this machine needs. But we should try it."

"Why?" Anna asked.

"Because," he said. "Rodney wanted us to." He walked away toward the dart where a group of scientists were wheeling a large grey object up next to it. Anna recognized it from schematics as a naquadah generator.

"Colonel Sheppard wanted you to rematerialize him," Anna said. She followed him to stand next to the reactor. It felt like he was just blatantly ignoring her now. " _You did that, too, even though you knew you shouldn't have._ "

" _We will try something else as soon as this is finished._ _I need you to either stop talking or go somewhere else _,_ " _he said, and pointed off in the most convenient direction.

Anna frowned at him. Why try something he was sure wouldn't work when he hadn't even tried something he thought might? " _You're wasting time_ ," Anna snapped. " _Having me here isn't going to make any difference._ "

" _Anna!_ " He turned toward her and gritted his teeth. He sighed. " _Please._ "

Anna huffed, anger twisting her heart into knots. " _Fine. If that's what you want._ " She backed away, and he just watched. Didn't say anything. It only made her angrier. Maybe Doctor McKay was right.

#

" _Don't worry about it. Tomorrow, she'll be fine. Like nothing ever happened_." Radek paused and stared at the screen. Like he would forget about this tomorrow. What were the odds Anna would? " _You are such an idiot._ "

Of course, Anna would not be fine tomorrow. She was right, anyway. Radek usually knew exactly what he was doing. And, in this case when Rodney had the unfortunate circumstance of a security officer in his brain, he knew what he was doing far better than Rodney did.

He did know exactly what he was doing! So why would he let Colonel Sheppard talk him into something he knew was a bad idea?

" _You are. You really are_ ," he said to himself. " _You are an idiot of the highest degree_."

"Zelenka?"

"Yes?" Radek turned around in his chair.

Collins stared at him.

So he'd been talking out loud. He just hoped it was all in Czech. "How are the simulations going?" Radek asked, leaning back in his chair to see Collins' laptop.

"Better since we got to clean up that mess you had before…" Collins answered.

"Better." Radek chuckled. "Define 'better.'"

"It's unlikely to explode in our faces." Collins laughed. "Which is better than the first test you and Doctor McKay ran. Schreiber told me all about it. I can't believe Doctor McKay made that many mistakes."

"Don't be too hard on him." Radek sighed. Or maybe they should be. This was probably going to be the one time in their lives when Rodney was obviously wrong. Granted, there was the two-consciousnesses-in-one-brain thing. A security officer talking over every higher brain function, probably because she didn't have any.

That wasn't fair to Cadman, either. Cadman was supposed to be some kind of explosives expert. Even Radek admired her technical expertise in that area.

"Rodney's not infallible," Radek finished.

Collins chuckled. It was something of a running joke between them, but Radek usually only took part when Rodney was out of earshot. Rodney would be the first to object, the last to let slide a joke which, true or not, was even the slightest bit damaging to his delicate ego.

"But I heard that transformers weren't the only things blowing up in here," Collins continued.

Radek looked over the top of his laptop screen. "You heard about that, too?" he wondered. Atlantis was like a small town: sometimes it seemed news traveled faster than the speed of sound around here. There were probably some 'gate technicians he didn't even know who only knew him as Doctor Fumbles McStupid now, thanks to Rodney. He'd take "the Czech one" over that any day.

"Heard about it?" Collins chuckled. "I think the Genii heard about it."

That didn't make him feel any better. "From whom?"

"I was working with Anna on her homework." Collins looked a bit sheepish. "She was going to ask you to help translate it, but I guess she changed her mind."

"Great," Radek mumbled. " _I'm sure there's nothing else I can do wrong today…_ What time is it?"

"Late," Collins said.

"We missed dinner, late; or it's almost breakfast, late?" Radek asked.

"Somewhere in between?" Collins said, looking for a clock somewhere. The lack of immediately available clocks explained a lot of late nights. "It's almost one."

Radek sighed and leaned back in his chair again. That explained a lot. It explained why his eyelids were heavy, his stomach was growling, and his temper was becoming shorter by the minute. There were two options as far as Radek saw it. "We can go sleep for a few hours or brew a few cups of coffee."

Collins smiled, but he rather looked like he was in pain.

"I don't like those options, either…" Radek sighed. He picked up a transformer bit and turned it in his fingers. "Hard to imagine something this… ugly could convert raw power like that into something so… ordered."

"It doesn't fit with my personal definition of Wraith, either," Collins admitted.

It seemed so very un-Wraith that it wasn't just unlikely. It seemed downright impossible. It had been their experience that most of their systems interfaced with Wraith technology in a way that was at least passable.

This was something else entirely. This was like Ancient tech. They'd worked for a long time in Antarctica to make things like their tablets work as seamlessly as they did. They basically built entirely new platforms and operating systems made precisely to work with Ancient systems. Radek and the others worked long hours, in the light, the dark, and bitter cold to build, test, and perfect the systems that saved their lives when they first arrived.

They didn't have that kind of time for this.

"I don't think this is going to work," he said finally.

"The transformer?" Collins asked, looking at their cobbled version of a Wraith transformer. It was pretty good at transforming energy into fire, but that was about it.

"Probably." He didn't know exactly what he meant. Maybe he meant their brains. They weren't working, either. "This is too crude. We need something more… structured." Radek looked at Collins. His face was completely blank. "We need some sleep."

"That, I can agree to."

"We will reconvene at five," Radek said.

"I owe you a drink. Or three."

Radek looked around. Rodney wasn't here, or else he was insulting them from afar. "For?"

"I wasn't there, but calling someone _Fumbles McStupid_ in front of everyone on Atlantis a new low. Even for Rodney."

"Oh." Radek sighed. "We'll drink to Rodney's health after we fix this problem."

That apparently sounded good to Collins because he was already gone. And before Radek could ask him how Anna's studying went, too. Before he could ask just what, exactly, Anna had told him. At least the other members of the science team refrained from calling him Doctor Fumbles McStupid, in public, anyway.

But maybe Rodney was right.

 _Don't be an idiot_. Rodney wasn't right. He wasn't infallible. Neither of them were.

Just because Radek often gave more evidence of his fallibility didn't mean anything…

He stopped by the empty mess hall for a sandwich and brought it back to his room. He stood outside his door, looking at Anna's for a long time. She was probably asleep. Shouldn't wake her.

Didn't know what he would say if he did…

He went into his own room and looked at the sparkling lights of Atlantis while he ate. He had four hours to sleep. Four long, blessed hours, free of Rodney and any sound other than the breeze drifting past his open window.

* * *

 _Next time: We all belong somewhere... even people like me._


	26. What Are We Doing Here?

_Last time: This Lt. Cadman getting stuck in Rodney's brain business (in chapter 23) is probably the worst few days of Zelenka's career on Atlantis_ _. And Anna's here for every last humiliating bit of it. Perfect._

* * *

 **Chapter 26. What Are We Doing Here?**

Anna swung her legs off the balcony over the stairs, her tablet lying next to her. Off. She hadn't started any of her most recent assignments. She hadn't done anything today at all. Radek had skipped out on dinner last night and breakfast this morning. She heard the door open when he came and left last night, but didn't bother saying hello.

She didn't blame him. Not really. Yes, he should have done what he thought was right instead of giving way to Sheppard, who knew even less than he did about the Wraith dart. He didn't offer any decent explanation about what happened to Doctor McKay, either. All he got for his trouble was a public castigation. Anna didn't know whether to share his embarrassment because the blame was unjust, or to hoard her own embarrassment that he didn't have the self-respect to stand up for himself. And she was indivisibly tied to that.

He didn't listen to himself and he didn't listen to her, either. Maybe he deserved a majority of the blame, after all. Maybe he shouldn't have been on Atlantis in the first place. Maybe...

"Anna." She turned at the sound of Teyla's voice.

Anna forced a smile for her, but she honestly didn't know what to think of Teyla yet. Her people were, like Doctor Beckett had said, lovely. She was a leader among them with many friends and she had a position of respect here. She just didn't interact with the science team a lot.

It was no wonder, wasn't it? The science team didn't exactly command respect. Not even among themselves.

"Hello, Teyla."

"Are you waiting for someone, or…?" Teyla sat down next to her, leaning on one of the wires. She looked around below them.

"No," Anna answered.

"This is a lovely spot," she said. She sounded surprised.

This was the best view Anna had found off a balcony thus far, not counting the one in the control room. It had a nice view of the 'gate, the windows. This one was far above the mess hall, a sort of maintenance catwalk. It had a view of the ocean and all the people coming in and out. Radek had showed it to her when they first arrived.

"What are you doing up here?" Anna turned her eyes from the two botanists below to Teyla.

"I saw you from down there." Teyla pointed toward the corner, to Ronon's usual table. He was sitting there now, kicked back and looking up at them. When Teyla pointed, he waved. Teyla waved back. "I mean, we saw you."

"Ah." Anna nodded and rested her chin on the wire. "I'm not bothering anyone." It was why she was up here. She was in the way everywhere else.

"Ronon and I were going to the gym to spar," Teyla said. "We were wondering if you would like to join us?"

Her? "Spar?" Anna almost laughed.

"You looked bored," she explained.

"Well, I am," Anna admitted. She sighed.

Teyla smiled. "You do not have to participate if you do not wish, but Ronon is an accomplished fighter and I have taught many Athosian children—and Colonel Sheppard—the basics of self-defense."

Anna grinned. "Just the basics?"

Teyla laughed. "He wasn't ready for anything else."

"Okay." Anna picked up her tablet and stood. Teyla stood beside her. "I guess it couldn't really be a waste of time."

#

Ronon halted in front of her. He was much taller, broader, and in every way more intimidating than she was. Much more intimidating than when he sat in the mess hall over a mountain of food. She really doubted her ability to defend herself against anything significant when he leaned over and looked her in the eye with his dark ones.

Momentarily mystified, she almost ignored whatever he was going to say.

"You know how many pounds of pressure it takes to crush a larynx?"

So much for not paying attention.

Her hand went to her throat almost involuntarily. She shook her head, not that she would ever want to know. But she guessed if it was a choice between being physically assaulted and crushing someone's larynx, she'd better choose the latter.

"Twelve."

"Oh." Twelve pounds didn't sound like a lot. On the other hand, she hoped her larynx was stronger than that.

"Do you know how many pounds of pressure even someone like you can put into a punch?"

 _Even someone like you_. What did that mean? She was slight, yes. She was the daughter of a scientist and she was certainly more likely to be seen hunched over a tablet than pounding a punching bag. "You mean someone that couldn't lift her own weight?" she asked.

He was right. She was a weakling…

"Fifty."

Teyla looked amused from the sidelines. Anna had just watched them almost kill each other. Ronon stopped just short of that. Anna didn't doubt that he could have killed Teyla—for all her ability—if he'd wanted to. Apparently he'd been killing with nothing but that fancy gun and his bare hands for something like seven years. That was really something.

Ronon paced before her like a military commander. And, for a split second, Anna almost forgot that she was "some scientist's daughter," as Ronon had called her. "Don't underestimate an enemy's strengths," he said. "But don't underestimate an enemy's weaknesses, either. Everything can be killed."

"Ronon." Teyla raised her eyebrows in a warning fashion.

He glanced back at her. "Did you wanna say something?"

Teyla sighed and stood. "What he's trying to say, Anna, is that everyone has the ability to defend themselves with a little bit of training."

"Even someone like me," Anna finished.

"No…" Teyla sounded thoughtful, smiled. "No, like all of us."

Anna looked up at Ronon. He pursed his lips. "That's not what I was trying to say, but it sounds good," he said. Then he looked at Anna more directly. "You're pretty young and small. I doubt you're going to be starting many fights."

"Have you met Doctor McKay?" she asked.

Teyla grinned at Ronon, who also smiled. Nevertheless, Ronon waved that away. "Just in case your first fight isn't with McKay, we'll start with defense."

Teyla nodded her approval and faced Ronon.

"Your attacker will most likely be bigger than you," Teyla said, gesturing to Ronon. He was a good head and shoulder above Teyla, too. "But that doesn't mean that you can't stand your ground."

"Or not," Ronon put in. He took a step forward into Teyla's space.

Teyla feinted back and to one side. "Giving ground doesn't necessarily mean you're losing."

"The point is to get out in one piece." Ronon pulled his two sticks from his belt—Teyla had called them bantos—flipped them in the air once, and then handed one to Teyla. "We're going to attack you—slowly. Your job is to not get hit."

Anna nodded. She figured if they put a stick in her hands, she wouldn't know how to use it. She'd trip on it even if she wasn't on the ground. To see Anna at her school's spring dance, no one would ever guess her mother was an avid dancer…

Still couldn't guess that. She almost got hit in the face by Ronon's stick twice, but he had excellent control.

"Get used to using your feet," Ronon said. He jumped around like a boxer.

"But," Teyla put in, "you don't have to use such big movements." She slinked to one side on her toes like a cat. "You're small. That's not a disadvantage." Ronon gave Teyla another attack, this one about ten times faster, and Teyla got out of the way and to Ronon's back easily.

Ronon twirled and swung his stick, but Teyla feinted back before ducking back in. Her arm was in perfect position to take a good crack at Ronon's ribs.

Almost as quickly as before, Ronon spun and backed up at the same time, lashing out with a wicked haymaker, stick in hand. This time, Teyla took the attack head on, crashing right into his arm. She swept back Ronon's shoulder, ducked under his arm, and watched him recover before she could do anything else.

Anna backed up to watch Ronon and Teyla continue their dance of not-quite-killing-each-other. "I don't know if I'll ever get this. I'm better at watching." Anna shook her head apologetically.

Ronon stopped, and Teyla almost hit him in the ribs with her stick. She stopped, of course, a centimeter away from him.

"Anna, how did you become so good at math and science?" Teyla asked.

Anna sighed. Math and science were a bit different. She was born with a brain that took to figures easily. She was also born with the equivalent of two left feet. She always had, even her mother said so. She probably would have loved if Anna enjoyed dancing as much as she did, but it was no good. Excellent vision, pattern recognition, a good ear, and more than passable hand-eye coordination.

Two left feet. Some people could duplicate motion. Anna was not one of those people.

She was pretty good at figuring out what people wanted to hear, though. She sighed. "Practice."

"This is no different," Teyla said. "But, of course, you aren't required to learn."

Ronon didn't look like he agreed with that sentiment at all. He shook his head as he put his stick under his arm. "Sitting back and watching doesn't cut it," he said to her.

Anna looked at Teyla. That was something that most people on Atlantis seemed to have in common. Even Radek. They did things. Sometimes they did it wrong. Sometimes there was no right answer. Sometimes they had two left feet. But at least they acted.

Still, Teyla smiled at Ronon. "This is true," she said. She turned to Anna. "Perhaps we were going too fast. We'll go back to the set."

Ronon shrugged.

Anna got the feeling that he didn't quite respect "her type." The scientist-type. The type whose version of "doing" involved more thinking. The type that was Radek Zelenka's daughter. She set her jaw and nodded. She had to try, at least.

Maybe even if someone called her Fumbles McStupid Junior in front of everyone.

She stepped back onto the floor where they practiced and worked through the motions that Teyla had shown her. A block above the head, then to the side. What she called a "wing block." Low. It looked beautiful when Teyla and Ronon did it.

Anna supposed she looked more like a stumbling cow.

Anna wasn't sure how long they practiced, but Teyla and Ronon took turns practicing the blocking set with her. She felt herself becoming better and better, faster and more fluid. Her arms were tired and her legs felt like Jell-o, but Teyla and Ronon didn't even look tired. Anna decided, for some reason, she wouldn't stop until they did.

Suddenly, Ronon put one of the attacks out of order. Instead of panicking and getting almost hit with Ronon's stick, she moved to block him.

He stopped, backing up a step. He lowered his stick. Teyla looked just as surprised as Anna felt. He just grinned. "Better."

Anna gasped for breath. For some reason, she was more scared now than when Ronon offered a different attack that she wasn't expecting. And she'd blocked it…

She dropped her stick and sat on the floor. Not the best idea, since she wasn't sure if she'd be able to get back up now… "Why did you do that?"

"Not everything has to fit in," Ronon said. He looked at her seriously, probably recalling their conversation from earlier. They had nothing in common… Nothing except the fact that they were nothing like Atlantis. Nothing like the people around them. They were unexpected.

Teyla nodded and sat on the floor next to Anna, tapping her shoulder with her own. "But that doesn't mean it does not belong."

* * *

 _A/N: Happy Thanksgiving to all all you USA readers! Hope it was a good one and stay safe out there today._

* * *

 _Next time: Dang, you're cute. Too bad you gotta die someday._


	27. To a Mouse

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech."  
This is a thought._

 _To Linda: Ohhh, yes. Bumps in the road. That's all we have around here. And, I did have a slice of pie. Rhubarb and strawberry pie. You can't go wrong. Thanks for reading. :)_

 _Last time: Radek is running himself ragged (since chapter 23) trying to get Cadman out of Rodney's head. Anna's lost a bit of respect for him, probably, but she's trying to get over it._

* * *

 **Chapter 27. To a Mouse.**

Anna tried not to think about how cute the little critters were. After all, odds were pretty good the two mice would be fused, fried, erased, misassembled, or otherwise destroyed in the next five minutes. Maybe they had an extra one lying around somewhere that wouldn't make a good test subject for whatever reason.

Anna remembered in time that she probably wouldn't have time for a pet.

She put the mouse back in the box. Radek was busy explaining what, exactly, he was testing to Elizabeth and Colonel Sheppard. Doctor McKay was there, too, but he probably knew what was going on better than any of them. Except, maybe, Radek. Radek explained it to Anna about an hour ago. She'd almost understood it.

Doctor McKay was obviously distracted. "Great," he said after Radek finished speaking. His tone definitely didn't say he thought it was great. "Good thinking. Can we just see it?"

Elizabeth glanced at Doctor McKay. "Anxious?"

"Yes." He looked at her like the answer was obvious.

Anna couldn't blame him for that. She was anxious, too.

"Okay," Radek said. "Firing."

He tapped the controls and the beam enveloped the mice. Anna slid to his side to look at the life signs on his screen. So far, so good, little mice. Even if they were a bit dematerialized at the moment.

"Life signs holding steady," Radek reported. Anna thought she heard everyone holding their breath. "Now rematerialization initiated."

The beam shot out and then cut off. So much for that. Two roughly mouse-shaped pieces of carbon sat in the box where the mice had been only a moment before.

"Now, I'm no scientist, but those mice used to be a different color," Colonel Sheppard said, looking at Radek.

Meanwhile, Doctor McKay said something perfectly fatalistic and stormed out of the hangar.

Anna watched the empty doorway Doctor McKay disappeared through, and then looked at Colonel Sheppard. "This is your fault, you know," Anna said. She was in so much trouble…

"Anna," Radek snapped.

"No. It's important to do something even if you don't know what to do," Anna said. "But you wanted to wait! You wanted to learn more about the machine like Doctor McKay said before you tried anything."

"Wait a second." Colonel Sheppard held his hands up. "It's my fault?" He looked pretty confused and indignant. Anna didn't blame him… She was fifteen and he was largely in charge of this outfit. But that didn't mean she was wrong.

"No, Colonel," Radek said.

"Yes," Anna interrupted. "You wanted to pick a life sign and rematerialize it before anyone even knew what was happening. This isn't his fault." She looked at Radek. She could tell he hadn't slept at all last night.

And he was angry. At her? If there was anyone to be angry at, she wasn't that person.

"No one is blaming your dad, Anna," Elizabeth offered.

" _Whatever_ ," Anna sighed and started to walk away. "I mean… yes. You're right. I'm sorry, Colonel Sheppard."

Colonel Sheppard didn't say anything, not with words anyway. Anna couldn't tell what he looked like. He almost looked apologetic or maybe understanding. A little bugged at having been scolded by a fifteen-year-old, probably... but certainly not very angry. It didn't matter, anyway.

She left the hangar and made it all the way down the hall before Radek caught up with her.

" _Anna—wait_." Radek jogged up behind her.

Anna stopped walking, but didn't turn to face him. " _I wasn't wrong._ "

" _Yes—I mean—you were wrong, Anna. You can't talk to Colonel Sheppard—no, anyone—that way_." Anna didn't know where he got that. Probably because he'd used that philosophy with such great success over the years… Probably because everyone talked to him that way? No better way to know how truly awful something is than to experience it yourself. " _But you're also right. Colonel Sheppard said he's not a scientist. I am. I do not always stand by my work like I should._ "

Anna nodded. Never stood up to Doctor McKay, either. She guessed certain things were just too much to ask for. " _I have to talk to Jennifer about biology_ ," she said.

" _Oh… that's fine._ " Radek nodded, looked at her critically. " _We will talk later._ "

Anna pretended she didn't hear him. She pretended she didn't just lie to his face. The last thing she wanted was to have this conversation again, but extended. She swung into the nearest transporter and watched him walk away as the doors shut before her.

She picked the dot on the south-east pier. The room was empty and lonely, as usual. She wandered in circles around the room a few times before she went to her room. Maybe she did need a mouse.

#

"Am I bothering you?" Weir stood on the other side of the desk next to him. She asked questions sometimes, but mostly she just nodded obligingly when he muttered some English-Czech hybrid of technobabble.

Where was Collins when he needed him?

"Please," Radek chuckled. "No. It's more convenient this way."

"Convenient?" Elizabeth smiled a little. "What does that mean?"

"I wanted to ask you a question after I quit for the night. It saves me the trip to your office."

"Anna?" Elizabeth asked as though it were a guess. She pulled up a chair and leaned on his desk. Put her head in one of her delicate hands, drumming her fingers in sequence.

It was her hands, really. Beautiful, precise, smooth.

But that led him to her green eyes, and from there it didn't much matter what he wanted to say. Words never came out right, anyway. Besides, once he got to the eyes, he had to say something before she got the idea that it wasn't always one-hundred percent for Anna he visited her office with increasing frequency.

It was always about Anna, and that wasn't a lie. Radek doubted Elizabeth would have noticed his existence without the extraordinary circumstances that took them shopping at the Chapel Hills Mall in Colorado Springs. It was a perfectly innocent invitation. Elizabeth was spoken for at the time, probably. Why wouldn't she be? She was intelligent and beautiful. Exactly the sort of woman he'd hope to find the company of if he were on Earth…

And now Simon was no longer a consideration. That was his name, right? Simon?

He tried his best to stop thinking about it. Unfortunately, that never lasted long if he didn't have something insistent to direct his attention on.

He shrugged helplessly and looked down. "What am I doing wrong?"

Elizabeth smiled. Maybe it was her smile, too. "Why do you have to be doing something wrong? You didn't think this was going to be easy?"

"Of course, not." He shook his head, hoping that might reset his thoughts. It seemed to work.

He couldn't think about these things, things like Elizabeth, if he had Anna to think about, too. But sometimes he would give anything to stop worrying about Anna for just a few minutes. He reminded himself in time that he was never good at this. Whatever _this_ was. Anna had no choice, and deserved better than his inept attempts at connection.

Elizabeth had a choice, so why wouldn't she say no?

He didn't realize how utterly consuming his job was. It was convenient last year. There was little time to think, even about impending disaster, because they were all working so hard to solve whatever problem there was before them. His job was his life. His life was his job. It was pretty much how he liked it.

But now… Anna's life had taken precedence. He found himself staring into blank space, his cursor over lines of code where he'd been searching for errors only to dwell on the impossible error of bringing Anna here. He wondered if she was happy, wondered how she could be. Was she lonely? She had to miss her mother. She had to be bored of school work, but there was little else to do. She had to be ashamed of him.

He didn't know how to handle his own life, much less someone else's.

"I did notice that she was a little…"

"You did more than notice." Radek shook his head and turned back to the Wraith dart. "She shouted at Colonel Sheppard. She's been shouting at me. I think the only things she's treated kindly have been the mice."

Elizabeth laughed. "Would it disturb you if I thought that was normal?"

"Yes," he mumbled. It was not normal. He didn't care what anyone said. Someone was doing something wrong. He was willing to bet it was him. Lack of experience did that to a person. "I think I've made a terrible mistake, Elizabeth. We've been back… what, a week, maybe? Two?" he asked.

Not that he thought things would be any better on Earth. It would be better for his nerves, anyway. He knew dealing with Anna and Rodney at once would put a strain on his already delicately-allocated social resources.

It was never going to be easy, here or on Earth. He had no one in Colorado Springs. He didn't expect to call his little sister every time he and Anna had an argument, did he? She had a five-year-old, he had a fifteen-year-old. Why did he think those two were analogous?

She shrugged in response. "Give it a little more time, Radek."

"Time." He sniffed in disdain. He never had time. He hated being under the gun all the time. He figured if he could just direct his schedule as he saw fit, he might…

But no. That was how it was before, wasn't it? Before, when he still had Eliška. He always found a way to be busy, busier than he had reason to be. That was what got him here in the Pegasus galaxy. He was a damn good scientist. But that was also what got him here in this conversation.

He was an equally bad husband and father.

"I have only just gotten her back and I'm losing her." He paused. "Or maybe I never did get her back…"

"She still doesn't talk to you much, does she?" Elizabeth asked.

He shook his head. He never knew what to say to Anna. He could feel the ache of her loss whenever they were in the same room. She bristled at almost anything he said, especially lately. That wasn't his fault, was it?

"I think she resents me," he admitted. "I don't blame her. I was in another galaxy when her mother was dying, but…"

Elizabeth sighed and shook her head. "She doesn't resent you. I'm sure of it. Just because she's angry at the universe, doesn't mean she's angry at you."

That didn't make sense. If she was angry at the universe, surely he was included in that? Last time he checked, they shared the same universe. On the other hand, maybe they didn't. Radek didn't understand her at all. Maybe they were from separate universes. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

It made sense. He chuckled and turned back to the mice. "Maybe. Best laid plans, I suppose."

"That's all we can do," Elizabeth agreed. She took a deep breath and looked around. "Well, I heard there are some delicious pastrami and cucumber sandwiches at this hour. Care to join me?"

Radek almost simply nodded. Almost said yes. It was just another thing to eat up his time. They were both professionals. They were colleagues. He had no idea how to deal with people. It would never work.

What was he fooling himself for? That wasn't what she was asking at all.

"Ah, no," he said quietly. "Thank you. But I need to get to sleep so I can…" He gestured vaguely at the mice. "Get back to this."

"Ah." She smiled. "Alright. Well. Sleep well."

"You, too."

She walked out of the lab. Radek sighed and sank into his chair, kicking back into the middle of the room. He ran his hand through his hair. Why was he sweating?

* * *

 _A/N: Forgive this and the next bunch of chapters for being short. Holidays and all. ^^_

* * *

 _Next time: The only thing worse than having to talk to one woman is having to talk to two._


	28. Just a Couple of Girls

_Last time:_ _Radek is running himself ragged (since chapter 23) trying to get Cadman out of Rodney's head. Anna's lost a bit of respect for him, probably, but she's trying to get over it._

* * *

 **Chapter 28. Just a Couple of Girls.**

Jennifer grinned and took a drink of her juice. "I don't know. He is kinda cute."

Anna giggled and looked around. She figured this was as close as she was going to get to high school gossip. It was nice to know that adults were pretty much just like children sometimes… Or maybe that was the opposite of nice. Anna hadn't quite decided.

Even still, when Anna told Jennifer she was taking the day off of school work, Jennifer offered to join her for lunch. Jennifer seemed like the closest to her in age and temperament. Even if that wasn't true, Jennifer was kind enough to take Anna's mind off things with trivial conversation.

"Kind of cute," Anna repeated. "I don't think so."

Anna didn't have anything against Doctor Moreau, but she also couldn't dream of affixing the adjective "cute" to him, either. He was pretty average, maybe a little on the chubby side for the typically immaculate physical condition of everyone on Atlantis. He spoke French, English, and assorted botanical languages. But it was easy to think someone was cute when they showed so much interest and had an endless supply of roses.

"All right. How about you?" Jennifer asked, looking around them.

Anna grimaced and looked. They were all pretty… old. In comparison, of course. Still, Anna knew exactly who she thought was cute, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She shook her head and blushed. "Not Doctor Moreau."

"Oh, so there is someone." Jennifer looked extremely interested.

Anna shook her head. There was most certainly not someone. Well, he didn't know it, anyway.

"Hold that thought," Jennifer said. "I don't want to miss a single word." She held her hand to her ear to activate her ear piece, still grinning. "Keller here." Then her smile disappeared. "He what?" She looked at Anna with grave concern. "Is he okay?"

"Who?" Anna whispered.

"Yes, of course. I'll be there in just a second." Jennifer rose, picking up her bottle of apple juice. "Doctor McKay had a seizure."

"A what?" Anna stood, too.

Jennifer was already walking out of the mess hall. "A seizure. Carson has to take care of him, so I'm get to fill in for an hour or so." She tossed a look back at Anna. "Sorry."

Anna shrugged in response, not mentioning that, while she heard exactly what Jennifer said, she didn't know what that word meant. Sometimes, when it came to some scientific and medical terms, Anna could guess at the meaning in English because it sounded a little similar in Czech. She'd never heard of a seizure before, though. But the look on Jennifer's face meant that Doctor McKay was getting worse.

"Is he okay?"

Jennifer didn't answer immediately. "Yeah, I think so. We'll see."

Anna fell in step next to her. She was relieved she wouldn't have to divulge her silly crush, but sad the conversation was over. If something was wrong with Rodney, though, she was willing to bet Radek would be there, too. She wasn't sure she wanted to be there.

But she should check on Rodney, right? He was sort of important to her education and to Atlantis as a whole. He was sure of himself even when he was wrong.

"Can I come?" she asked. "To see if he's okay?"

Jennifer shrugged. "Maybe in a bit," she said. "Sometimes after a seizure people are... fuzzy."

"Fuzzy?" What did that even mean?

"Sometimes they don't know where they are," Jennifer explained, her voice quiet. She stepped into the transporter, Anna beside her. She put her hands in her pockets and continued, "If they remember it, or if they don't. They can be scared. He might not be awake yet." She smiled a little bit, obviously trying to put on a brave face for Anna. "You can come visit him, just maybe in an hour or two, okay? I'm sure he'd like a visitor."

Anna took a deep breath to arrest the heavy weight of worry on her chest. It didn't help very much. "Should I be worried?"

Jennifer smiled and shook her head. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Your dad is working on a solution to get Cadman her own body back. I'm sure that it will work out just fine. From what they tell me... things somehow usually do."

Anna nodded and hung back. "I'll come by later." She wasn't sure if Jennifer heard her.

It was a long day with nothing to do and everyone mostly preoccupied with the issue of McKay/Cadman, and that issue seemed to only be getting worse. She still had no idea what a seizure was, and almost no idea where anyone else was. Radek was probably slaving away over the Wraith dart, trying to undo his mistake… his mistake of rematerializing Doctor McKay at Colonel Sheppard's less-than-informed command.

Anna finally looked up from her studying in the mess hall at seven o'clock and realized that Radek hadn't been in there to eat. He must have been hungry.

He was an adult. He could come and get his own food if he wanted to.

She decided to visit Doctor McKay instead. She traced her way through the huge, open halls until she reached the infirmary. Doctor McKay sat on a gurney distant from the door with a platter of food on his lap. He picked at it.

Anna could think of no better indication that something was wrong with him.

He glanced up when she entered, rolled his eyes and looked back down. Anna didn't know what exactly warranted that response from him, but she walked to his bedside anyway. Maybe he was waiting for someone to have some good news.

Anna wouldn't have any good news. But no bad news, either. That was almost good.

"What is it?" He looked around. "Zelenka send you to tell me it's hopeless?"

Anna shook her head. "I haven't talked to Radek."

"Oh." He looked a bit brighter, but confused. "Why are you here, then?"

"To be your company," Anna said. She sat on the gurney next to him and crossed her legs. "Alone in a hospital room is probably the worst thing to be."

He nodded tentatively, like he wasn't sure that was the worst thing. He rolled a Brussels sprout over on his plate. "Drowning?" he suggested.

"That's a pretty bad way to die," Anna allowed. Maybe she hadn't said what she meant correctly. "But alone in the hospital room is the worst way to live."

"Hm." He nodded, slowly. Maybe she'd said something wrong again. He chuckled darkly and tapped his temple. "Not alone."

Anna smiled. "Are you both okay?"

"Aside from the seizures," Doctor McKay mumbled. "Great." He put his plate aside and then looked back ahead. Tapped his fingers on his legs like he was waiting for something. "Yeah… It's not like—"

Anna waited. Maybe he was going to explain seizures. On the other hand, he sounded kind of irritated, so she could only guess what was about to come next. Finally, Doctor McKay heaved a huge sigh.

"Listen, uh, Anna, I should probably apologize that you were there for that," he said suddenly, quickly. "My, uh… I probably shouldn't have said those things. To Radek, I mean."

Anna shrugged and looked down at her hands. "You were right, anyway."

Doctor McKay seemed indignant. "What do you mean by that?"

"He shouldn't have rematerialized you. He should have done something different," Anna explained. "He knew that, but he didn't. He doesn't…" He doesn't, what? He doesn't listen? To himself? Other people? He doesn't even notice. "He doesn't do anything right."

"No, no, no," Doctor McKay said. "Remember what—"

"He does, but he doesn't." Anna felt a little bad for interrupting, but Doctor McKay obviously had no idea what she was talking about. And why should he?

Radek was never there, not ever. That was all she ever remembered her mom saying about him a year ago. Sometimes she would even get mad that Anna still kept that picture of the three of them at the park on her desk. Not always, but sometimes she did. She'd say that wasn't Radek. Maybe it was who Radek wanted to be once, but he'd never gotten there. Or maybe he decided he didn't want to be that person after all.

And then when Mom got sick, she tried to lie, like Anna hadn't been there for years.

"You don't know what I mean, Doctor McKay. You were wrong to say those things, but you weren't wrong about what you said," she finished.

"Wait a second." Rodney looked up with finality, locking her in the gaze of his weird, ice blue eyes. Darker than Radek's eyes, somehow. "Wait. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Look, it's not any big secret that I'm terrible with people. And, yeah, while it is a very stressful situation I know I… you know, I should be more careful about what I say. No one deserves that kind of disrespect."

Anna blinked once. Everyone said that Doctor McKay never apologized.

"And, for the record, your dad is one of the best scientists I know," Doctor McKay added.

They stared at each other in stunned silence. Doctor McKay looked rather certain about himself for a few seconds, and then his mind seemed to catch up with what his mouth said. He shriveled a little, nodded a bit and murmured, "Yeah…"

Anna didn't know what to say. She couldn't just tell Doctor McKay all that, could she? Tell him that waiting here for Radek was pointless, because he never showed up. She'd waited for Radek before… when it was most important, it took months and years.

"So how's the homework going?" Doctor McKay asked.

Anna shrugged in response. "It's fine. I know how to reroute power to and from a lot of things on the Daedalus, but not… everything."

"It wasn't everything. Not even close," Doctor McKay objected. "There were no more than twenty items on that list."

"It's not fair that I can't ask for help," Anna said.

"You have the _Daedalus_ simulation. What else do you want?"

"I need to guess?"

"You'll end up learning way more than twenty rerouting paths that way."

Anna sniffed. "I guess we're lucky that not everything has to work that way." She grinned a little, remembering Doctor Jackson's stories. "Or else you'd still be on Earth waiting for everyone else to figure out how the Stargate works."

"That's true, but we aren't on Earth, are we?" Doctor McKay suddenly paused. For a very long moment, he didn't say anything. He didn't move.

Was he having a seizure?

"Wait. The 'gate! We can use the 'gate."

"You mean for you and Lieutenant Cadman?"

"The 'gate dematerializes you as you step into it, sending your information to the next 'gate so it can be rematerialized on the other side." He paused, then nodded. "Yes, of course." Maybe to something Lieutenant Cadman said.

Anna didn't see how that would help them since the information was already in the dart. Then she remembered… the control crystals Radek was looking at—oh, it seemed like ages ago now. "Can you do that?" She watched Doctor McKay slide off the gurney and tie on his bathrobe. "Interface the crystal control modules with the dart?"

"I don't have time to explain this to you." Doctor McKay was already on his way out the door. "Tell Carson I went—I don't know—somewhere."

* * *

 _Next time: Did that just happen?_


	29. and Rodney

_Last time: Did Rodney actually apologize? Because that would literally be a first. (Companion chapter to 28.)_

* * *

 **Chapter 29. Supplement. Just a Couple of Girls and Rodney.**

He'd always been pretty healthy. Hypoglycemic, a little sensitive to certain soaps and fabrics... probably allergic to latex... definitely allergic to citrus. But beyond those things, he was incredibly healthy. He'd never been sick. He never got the flu, never so much as broken a bone.

But seizures were terrifying. He'd never had his brain turn on him like that.

He understood as much as he needed to. He didn't remember what happened, just a blank space in memory. Three blank spaces, now. He knew enough of the facts to imagine what happened. The synapses in his brain lit up like a Christmas tree, cascading from one side to the other with nothing to stop it until it ran itself out of places to go.

He came to in the infirmary with worst headache of his life. Exhausted. The only thing he could keep down was water, even though he was starving. Still starving. It took a few minutes to be able to talk again, understand what happened. Just in time for it to happen again.

It wouldn't be so bad... just if he wasn't so scared.

His every breath hung on the edge of anxiety that it would happen again. He did his best to hide it from Carson and everyone, and they left him alone. Even Cadman fell strangely silent, but she had to feel it, too. They shared the same palpitating heart, didn't they?

 _Rodney_ … Cadman wondered quietly.

"Hm."

 _They'll figure it out, okay?_

She was delusional. He scoffed and picked up a brussels sprout. Cadman must have ordered, because—why, exactly, would Rodney want to eat brussels sprouts on his death bed? Didn't matter... he couldn't eat anyway.

"Yeah, Zelenka and-and-and what army? Because he'll need an army. He's done nothing but screw everything up since—I don't know, I was in a Wraith dart, so I can't tell you exactly when." Probably being born. What could have possessed Zelenka to do this to him? Did he really hate him that much?

 _Okay, okay, maybe, but he didn't do this on purpose. He's trying to fix it. Everyone's trying to fix it._

"I need to be trying to fix it," Rodney grumbled. He sighed and Cadman stayed quiet for once. He heard footsteps at the doorway. It was Anna. Rodney rolled his eyes and looked back down at his plate. "What is it? Zelenka send you to tell me it's hopeless?"

Because it was hopeless. And Zelenka probably didn't have the guts to face Rodney himself right now. Why should he?

"I haven't talked to Radek," Anna answered.

"Oh." Well, that was… weird. "Why are you here, then?"

Anna crossed the floor to hop up on the gurney next to Rodney's. "To be your company," she said. Rodney watched curiously as she folded her hands in her lap and looked up at him sympathetically. "Alone in a hospital room is probably the worst thing to be."

Rodney could have laughed. That wasn't the worst way to die by far. Rodney had kept a running tally. Dying alone in a hospital was actually one of the better ways to die, especially with all the terrible ways there were in this galaxy alone.

"Drowning," he corrected. It was certainly one of the worst. Given a few seconds, he could come up with a few better.

"That's a pretty bad way to die." Anna hesitated, like she was going to argue. Maybe she didn't know what drowning was like. "But alone in a hospital is the worst way to live."

"Hm." He looked down, nodding a little. He fully expected to die alone in a hospital room. Maybe. In his darkest moments, he did, anyway. Sometimes he imagined he'd find a nice girl, get married, but, face it… There was no one in two galaxies that he wanted to deal with for long enough. Why was everyone so stupid?

 _Well, she's right, you know_.

He tapped his head at the timely reminder. "Not alone."

Anna smiled. "Are you both okay?"

"Aside from the seizures…" Rodney muttered, Cadman's voice interrupting his thoughts.

 _Not too bad, I guess. Except that McKay's body is basically a disaster._

"Great," Rodney finished. At this point, he almost wished he would die. At least it would be quiet, then.

No, no, no. Zelenka was going to figure it out. He had to.

 _Rodney…_ Cadman said gently, effectively interrupting his thoughts along that line. Well enough; if he thought about it too long, he's realize how hopeless it was. _You should apologize to her. For what you said to Zelenka. She was there, remember?_

"Yeah…" Rodney mumbled, tapping his fingers impatiently. He remembered perfectly, and… well, yeah, he probably should have waited until Anna was in another room to call Zelenka "Doctor Fumbles McStupid," shouldn't he? Hadn't considered that.

 _Well, her relationship with him is kind of delicate right now. How do you think she felt with you calling her dad names like that in front of everyone?_

"It's not like—"

Rodney didn't know how he would have finished that, since Cadman was pretty insistent.

 _Rodney! Apologize._

Rodney sighed and looked at Anna. Like he expected, she looked a little confused. Rodney was a little confused. But Cadman wasn't going to shut up… "Listen, uh, Anna, I should probably apologize that you were there for that. My, uh…" Nope, nope, it was actually Zelenka's fault, right? Rodney didn't do anything here. He was the victim. Right? "I probably shouldn't have said those things," he finished. "To Radek, I mean."

 _Oh_ , Cadman scoffed. _Nice apology. No wonder you don't have any friends_.

Anna said something, but Rodney didn't hear what it was. "What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"He shouldn't have rematerialized you," Anna answered. Oh, good, she thought he was talking to her. And she was exactly right about that, too. "He should have some something different. He knew that, but he didn't. He doesn't… he doesn't do anything right."

 _Oh, no, Rodney, you have to stop her_ , Cadman thought urgently. _Here, let me—_

No, no, no—what was she doing? Rodney felt his hand raise, but it wasn't him. "No, no, no, remember what—" Too late.

 _Damnit Cadman!_ Was she trying to give them another seizure? Was she trying to kill them? Was she even listening to what Anna was saying? What was she saying?

"You were wrong to say those things, but you weren't wrong about what you said," Anna said.

"Wait a second," Rodney heard his voice saying.

 _Cadman, stop, no, no, no. Cadman. Cadman. Cadman._

The woman was a professional at ignoring the things going on in her own brain, wasn't she? The brain she was using, anyway. That explained a whole lot, actually. _Cadman. Stop it, it's my body—and you can't apologize for me! That's cheating, or something_.

"And, for the record, your dad is one of the best scientists I've ever met."

Oh, nice. Rodney hoped no one else was around to hear that come out of his mouth. It would be just his luck if Zelenka was outside right now, listening.

 _You bet it's cheating_ , Cadman thought, slinking into the background. _Now, was that so hard?_

Rodney sighed, grateful to feel his lungs fill with oxygen on his command. Grateful when the world didn't blur into pink like it did before the last two seizures. Anna was staring at him. He was staring at Anna. What had she just heard him say? It couldn't have been too terrible.

"Yeah…" Rodney mumbled, for lack of anything else to say.

Anna hesitated for a long while, not saying anything.

Rodney didn't know what to say, but the silence was killing him. "So…" he said, just to fill the air with his own voice saying what he told it to. "How's the homework going?"

* * *

 _A/N: Yeah, a bonus chapter! How exciting..._

* * *

 _Next time, this time, for real: I just need to sleep._


	30. Long Night

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech."  
This is a thought._

 _Last time: This is probably the worst few days of Zelenka's career on Atlantis (since chapter 23)_ _. And, as usual, Rodney pulls some stupid idea out of the nearest dumpster and makes it work for him, probably._

* * *

 **Chapter 30. Long Night.**

Radek sighed and fell into the chair. He couldn't remember the last time he was this tired. But the remembrance of Rodney planting a passionate kiss on an unsuspecting Carson was one he wasn't soon to forget. Even if it wasn't technically Rodney.

In the meantime, he didn't remember the last time he'd eaten. It was probably in the last twenty-four hours, since he was reasonably certain he'd eaten since he last slept.

But when had he last slept?

" _Whatever, whatever_ …" He stirred his chicken soup. It didn't matter when he last ate. He was eating now.

"Cursing your soup?"

Radek glanced up. He did not need this right now. "Hello, Doctor Weir."

"May I?" Elizabeth gestured at the seat across from Radek.

" _What the hell_ ," he mumbled. "Please."

Elizabeth didn't look convinced, but she sat anyway. She had a sandwich. Radek went straight for the canned chicken soup tonight. The best decision he'd made in a week. It was still too hot to eat, but he had hopes that it would sooth his throat. It was probably just sore from yelling at Rodney so much in the past few days.

Or had he been yelling? He knew he was yelled at. And the yelling only got louder as the days wore on.

"Are you alright?" she asked, unwrapping her sandwich.

"Yes." He slid his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes. "Just exhausted, I think."

Elizabeth looked sympathetic while Radek tried his soup. It almost burned his tongue off.

"You've been working nonstop since Rodney got stuck in that dart so… that's not surprising."

No. It wasn't surprising at all. He hadn't seen Anna in days—he lost count how many days—except when he was arguing with her. Atlantis was stressful by itself. Rodney was a handful. What made him think he could handle this place, Rodney, _and_ Anna? He said he'd figure that out later. Rodney would die without him, but Anna would be fine. She'd understand.

She shouldn't have to understand. People didn't get multiple consciousnesses trapped in their heads on Earth, did they?

Why was he still having this conversation with himself?

He slurped up more soup, trying to ignore how hot it was. "How is Anna?" He was always asking everyone else this. Why did he not already know?

"She seems fine," Elizabeth said with a smile. "I think I saw her working on simulations of the _Daedalus_ earlier today… She seemed pretty frustrated, to be honest." She chuckled, and Radek didn't know what seemed so funny. It was never funny to be frustrated. "Doctor Collins told me Rodney said she wasn't allowed to ask for help, so I didn't press it."

"Of course. Rodney." He should have guessed Rodney would take obscene pleasure in tormenting his daughter, too.

Elizabeth frowned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I am just tired." Tired, yes. He looked into his soup bowl. He was so hungry he could have eaten more than a few sandwiches, but he also needed sleep. He wasn't sure what he needed more, to be honest. Disgusted with his letting Sheppard bully him into doing something he knew was a bad idea. Frustrated that Rodney, somehow, came up with his outrageous ideas that shouldn't have worked but did.

Humiliated. Just humiliated.

"Yes, I'm fine," he finished.

"Okay…" She was certainly not convinced. "Do you need anything?"

He paused and looked up. "No." He stirred the soup a few more times.

Best to just finish and go to bed. He could figure out everything else tomorrow. Tomorrow, except that Rodney was expecting him to help with the puddle jumper they were taking out on their next excursion through the 'gate.

He finished his soup and stood. "I don't mean to be rude."

"You're not." Elizabeth smiled up at him, shaking her head. "I just wanted to tell you. Good work today. Okay?"

"Okay, thank you."

He hurried away. What in the world was she talking about? Certainly not this day. Certainly not any of the previous days, either. They'd been a disaster. Everything he'd tried to do—nothing turned out right. He turned into the transporter, relieved to be alone for just a few seconds. No one could yell at him in here. Not Rodney. Not Colonel Sheppard. Not Anna.

Everyone said dwelling on anger was bad, right? Only made it last longer. But if he was angry, odds were low that he could be ashamed at the same time.

The south-east pier opened before him, dark and empty. Everyone else had long since gone to bed… except everyone kept up by the Rodney/Cadman problem.

The door slid open. A lamp was on near the chair by the window. Even though she was the only one in the room, Anna sat on the floor, reading under the lamp. Just... just like...

He shouldn't to bring that up. Instead, he asked, " _You're still up?_ "

" _So are you_."

" _Well, yeah, but if I could have been asleep hours ago, I would have been_." And tomorrow he could choose between more sleep or breakfast. He looked at the book she was reading and then out the window. Had those lights always been that bright? He slid out of his jacket and tossed it on the nearest seat.

" _Did Rodney's idea work?_ "

" _Yes. It worked_." Just like everything Rodney ever tried. Every stupid idea he ever had, somehow it managed to not kill everyone. It drove Radek crazy. Interfacing Ancient 'gate crystals with a Wraith dart? Who would think of that? And why should that even work? Ancient 'gate crystals and Wraith materializers were so different, it was a stupid idea to even try it. It wasn't Radek's fault that Rodney's stupid ideas worked when there was no reason they should have.

No wonder everyone treated Rodney like a god.

Anna smiled. " _Good_."

" _Yes, good._ " He looked toward his bedroom. Even though he desperately wanted to be sleeping right now, he hadn't really talked to Anna in a while. So he sat down in a chair near her and tried to think of something to say. " _Elizabeth told me that Rodney gave you a difficult assignment._ "

Anna shrugged. " _It's just tedious._ "

" _About the_ Daedalus _?_ " he prodded.

" _Rerouting power through different junctions. He wants me to do trial-and-error_."

Radek nodded. There was a little bit of sense in that, he supposed. He remembered telling her that they would talk later about something, but he couldn't remember what it was. It was something unpleasant. He looked at her, pursed his lips.

" _Are you alright?_ " he asked.

" _I was about to ask you the same thing…_ "

" _I'm exhausted._ "

She nodded a little. " _I'm alright._ "

He didn't believe her. Not really. Well, he didn't know what _alright_ meant. He wanted to ask her if she was happy. At least, not miserable. Did she regret coming to the Pegasus galaxy with him? Did she enjoy learning from these people who were so obviously not teachers?

Did she think he was as terribly incompetent as everyone else on Atlantis thought?

" _Good_." It wasn't what he wanted to say, but it was all he could think to say. He sighed and shook his head. " _I'm sorry. I don't know… can we talk tomorrow?_ "

She nodded. " _Sure_."

She was just obliging him. She didn't really want to have anything to do with him—and who could blame her? He wasn't exactly a great conversationalist when he wasn't exhausted. Was he? He didn't remember. When was the last time he wasn't tired? He didn't remember that, either.

He went to his room and closed the blinds on his window. Tonight, Atlantis seemed too bright.

* * *

 _Next time: I'm too tired to form a proper objection to that..._

* * *

 _A/N: Ah, poor Radek. That is not a good episode for him. As Rodney says, "You were... there." But that's Duet!  
If you had finals, I hope they went well for you. Hopefully they went well for me. Next week will see us returned to our regular-length chapters. I think. I have no idea. Who even knows with holidays, am I right?_


	31. Coordination

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech."  
This is a thought._

 _Last time: Rodney and Cadman are safely in their own bodies. Radek probably died of exhaustion. Anna probably thought he died of embarrassment._

* * *

 **Chapter 31. Coordination.**

Radek seemed to be eating his hot soup—a strange breakfast choice to Anna's view—very slowly. He shaded his eyes from outside. They were also speaking Czech in public. Speaking English seemed too complicated for him today.

" _You don't look very well_ ," Anna said quietly.

" _I'm fine_ ," Radek answered. Of course, he would say that. Still, it was obviously not true. He looked more like a member of the walking dead than the Atlantis science team. " _I will just go to bed very early tonight_."

" _So you can get up very early tomorrow morning?_ " Anna asked. He didn't respond, which didn't exactly inspire her confidence. " _Just tell Doctor McKay that you're sick and you can't make it today._ "

He actually laughed. It would have given her some hope that sleep was actually all he needed, except he coughed violently in the middle of it. " _No. I will be fine. Thank you for your concern, though_."

Anna shook her head and shrugged. He was at everyone else's beck and call around here, but when Anna suggested that he take a day off for his own health, he shrugged her off. That was fine. She didn't really care anyway.

" _Alright, fine_ ," she said. " _I meet with Colonel Sheppard and Ronon today to learn how to use a handgun."_

That got his attention. " _You what today?_ "

" _I think it's called a Beretta?_ "

" _No, you will not._ "

" _It's like gym_."

" _Except it is very much not gym_." He looked around and then back at her as though he was worried someone was listening to them. " _You actually want to learn how to… shoot guns?_ "

Anna shrugged. It wasn't so much about the guns at this point. " _Sure._ "

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. It seemed to be sinking in. Anna couldn't believe it would be a very big deal in Atlantis. There were guns everywhere on Atlantis. None of them available to her without an escort like Colonel Sheppard.

" _If that's what you want…_ " he said finally.

She nodded. She wasn't convinced she wanted. But she'd already agreed. Maybe she should wait to mention that Ronon had offered knife-throwing lessons. It would be a lot to mention in the span of five minutes. Especially if she'd been talking about Ronon a lot lately. Had she? She couldn't remember. She felt like she might be...

" _I am excited. It'll be different_."

" _Different, yes_."

" _Doctor McKay carries a gun_ ," she offered. Sometimes he did.

" _Don't remind me_."

She laughed a little. Maybe he wasn't the best comparison. Besides, it wasn't like she would be shooting a Beretta today, going through the Stargate tomorrow. It was just fun. She didn't feel like she had a lot of that these days. No friends, and no fun. Maybe she should have voted to stay in Colorado. Who cared what Doctor McKay wanted? Radek might get an actual chance at being a dad, then.

" _Just be safe,_ mála." He paused, closed his eyes. " _Anna._ "

Anna went back to her breakfast. He would remember eventually not to call her that...

" _I have to go._ " Radek stood up. He squinted at her. " _I will see you at dinner. If Rodney lets us have dinner_."

Anna shook her head. " _He's hypoglycemic_."

" _The rest of us aren't._ "

Anna frowned. " _I'm sure he's breaking many labor laws._ "

Radek smirked. " _Probably_." He walked off.

Anna watched him leave. She couldn't help a small smile. She finished up her breakfast and went to join Colonel Sheppard and Ronon. They had been here the whole time that she and Radek had been, but they hadn't eaten. They were both probably already up and done before Anna realized it was daylight. Colonel Sheppard struck her as the type to rise early, anyway.

"Colonel Sheppard!" she called.

Colonel Sheppard looked up at her with a smile when she approached their table. "Ready?"

Anna nodded. At least… she hoped she was.

"What did your dad say?"

"He was fine with it." In the sense he wasn't one-hundred percent against it, anyway.

Colonel Sheppard grinned. "Great."

#

Colonel Sheppard finally let go of the handgun, leaving it solely in her hands. He showed her how to hold it. It felt heavy, but like it fit perfectly. She didn't know how to prepare for the "kickback" he told her about.

She peered through her combination of glasses and goggles toward the target. It was at the end of the range, a huge blue room deep in Atlantis with the only windows high up on the walls. The only doors were at the back of the long, rectangular room. Colonel Sheppard speculated that they built ships in here, or maybe they stored some type of vehicle because there were large doors on the roof and at the back of the room that led out to the plaza.

The Atlantis team had transformed the place into a firing range a long time ago, complete with cabinets along the back to hold weapons and ammo, and twelve stalls to accommodate three practicing 'gate teams at once. A mechanism like a garage door chain hooked to targets to send them to the other end of the range without having to venture out and risk death or bodily harm from stray bullets. The military personnel never missed, of course. It was the recertifying science team members they had to worry about.

And Anna, probably. Time would tell.

She squinted at her target on the far side of the room. It was a round shape, though Ronon and Sheppard set up human silhouettes next to hers. Anna imagined Radek wouldn't be very pleased if she nailed a headshot her first time out.

Anna would be pleased. She bet that Ronon and Colonel Sheppard would be, too.

"Whenever you're ready," Colonel Sheppard said.

Anna nodded slowly and took aim carefully. Yep, if this were a real situation, the Wraith would have eaten her a long time ago. Of course, with Wraith it didn't seem to matter if they were shot accurately. They just kept coming. It was better to put as many bullets in them as possible, not necessarily to hit them any specific place.

She took a deep breath. Pulled the trigger.

She didn't realize she'd blinked until she opened her eyes and tried to figure out if she'd hit the target or not. Colonel Sheppard leaned over to look at her target. He nodded. "Not bad."

"Where is it?" Anna asked. She didn't see the bullet hole where she'd aimed, that was for sure…

"Top left corner." Colonel Sheppard motioned in that direction.

When Anna searched there she found her hole in the fourth ring, above and left of the center. She frowned and shook her head. That wasn't where she'd aimed at all. And it wasn't "not bad" either. It was pretty awful.

"You hit the target," Colonel Sheppard said. "That's better than a lot of the scientists in your dad's team could do their first time."

Anna smiled a little, trying to imagine Radek with a gun.

It was hard to imagine.

"You're not scared of it," Ronon put in. "That's good." He picked up a handgun of his own and looked at it. He unloaded the clip into the silhouette's head. Anna smirked. Maybe someday she could do that, too.

"Not scared of it," Colonel Sheppard agreed. "But you do respect it."

Anna certainly respected it. It didn't help that she was imagining herself taking aim at a Wraith while actually aiming at a paper target.

"Give it another shot," Colonel Sheppard said. "We'll have you in the center before the end of the hour." He glanced at his watch and nodded.

Anna raised the gun again. It was difficult, since Colonel Sheppard had given her a field vest, loaded with a few more clips. Anna thought she saw a fruit and nut bar in one of the pockets. It was heavy and too big for her.

But this was apparently what everyone wore when they went offworld. Anna figured that if she wanted to go offworld for something more exciting than an empty field after a culling, she'd have to learn how to do this, too. Of course… she wasn't sure she wanted to go offworld.

While Anna squinted at the target, trying to figure out how to keep her hands steady while she pulled the trigger, he looked at Ronon. "Ready for your first mission?" he asked.

Ronon shrugged. "Sounds fun."

He wasn't sarcastic, but he wasn't exactly sincere, either.

Anna closed one eye. Switched eyes.

"It helps if you keep both eyes open," Colonel Sheppard offered.

"Yes, thank you." Anna snapped both of her eyes open. The target blurred in front of the sight. She glanced over to see Ronon grinning in amusement. She moved her eyes to Colonel Sheppard. He looked a bit more serious, but he was obviously enjoying himself, too.

Anna took a deep breath. Trigger.

"Better."

How did he see so quickly? Anna was the one aiming and she didn't really know where her bullet was going. But he was right, this time was better. The hole was just one ring away from the center, but so close to the center that Anna figured it might as well be. She smiled in spite of herself.

"Where did you get your hand-eye coordination? It didn't come from Zelenka," Colonel Sheppard chuckled.

Anna smiled and shrugged. "My mom danced a lot, so…"

"Wait a second." Colonel Sheppard's eyebrows arched in interest. "Your dad and a dancer." He seemed to consider that for a moment. He looked at Ronon, who just had a smirk to betray any thoughts. Colonel Sheppard must have decided it was too hard to believe, so he shook his head.

"It wasn't her job. She was just very good at it. She loved dancing," Anna said. But she didn't inherit any of that, the love or the very good. "She was a teacher."

"Of course. Science?" Colonel Sheppard asked.

"Math." She didn't bother saying what kind of math. He looked like the kind of guy who would be impressed by any kind of math. But, then, she'd been surprised by him before. He knew a few phrases in Czech and he said them really well. Maybe he was smarter than he looked. Most people around here were...

"That makes more sense. I mean, dancing…" He stopped.

Anna didn't know why that made more sense. "Well, we all did," Anna said quietly. Her fondest memories of them as a family. Her mother would take them to community celebrations with folk dancing... or maybe they'd only done that once. It was hard to remember things like that. Anna was too young to have much coordination—and she didn't have much when she was older, either—but she loved watching everyone else. And, even if she wasn't good at it, she loved participating.

She blinked away the memory and looked at the target. This time she'd hit it.

"I still think she should try this," Ronon said while she was busy lining up the sights. She saw him pull his own handgun out of his belt in her periphery.

"That thing kicks back like a horse," Sheppard said. "It'll hit her in the face."

Ronon almost laughed—as close as he got, anyway. He didn't say anything. Instead, he blew the head off the silhouette with his weapon.

Colonel Sheppard shook his head in disgust… or admiration. Anna wasn't sure which.

She pulled the trigger.

Finally. "There!"

Sheppard nodded his approval. "Nice." He looked down at his watch. "Five minutes. See? That didn't take long." He went to the next stall and took aim, fired, and tilted his head at the target. Dead-center in the silhouette's torso.

Anna sighed. Sheppard could line up a dozen shots in the time it took her to do one. She raised her gun again and took aim. She'd get better. She had all day.

* * *

 _A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! Veselé Vánoce!_

* * *

 _Next time: I guess you can do boring stuff if you want to..._


	32. Best Way to Learn

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought_.

Last _time: Anna's learning all kinds of new things, like how to handle guns! She's more excited than Radek. And Radek obviously has a cold or the flu or something (since approximately chapter 30), but it seems likely he's trying to give it to Rodney._

* * *

 **Chapter 32. Best Way to Learn.**

Anna couldn't believe that she was going to be the one dragging Radek out of bed this morning. Or else he'd already gone and gotten breakfast and just forgotten her. It would be a strange thing to forget. She buzzed his door and waited. Buzzed it again.

The door finally opened. He looked like death warmed over. He coughed and squinted—though the latter may have been because he wasn't wearing his glasses. He wasn't wearing his uniform, either, just a t-shirt and shorts.

" _Are you okay?_ " she asked.

He put his head down, blocking the sunlight from his eyes. " _I am coming down with something_." He sniffed. He turned back into the darkness of his room.

Anna stepped into the doorway and looked around. Of course, he was coming down with something… He already had whatever it was yesterday, but did he listen to her? Maybe this would teach him. " _Should I get Doctor Beckett?_ "

" _No_." It sounded hard for him to speak. Anna wasn't sure what that meant. He sat on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. " _I think it's just a cold or something_." He coughed like he might lose a lung and laid back down. He picked his head up and looked toward the doorway. " _Can you close the door please?_ "

Anna stepped back out of the room and stood staring at the closed door for a few moments. She had wondered if she could or would navigate Atlantis in the bustle of the early morning alone. She'd been alone during the rest of the day, of course, when it was relatively empty and everyone was already where they were supposed to be. She usually waited to venture out until that time.

This morning would be an adventure. Because she was certainly hungry.

She stepped out of the room to see all the usual people going to all the usual places. She boarded the transporter stood quietly while all the important people selected their destinations. Soon enough she was the only one in there… And she didn't know where to go.

She finally opted for the infirmary. It probably wasn't a big deal. It sure looked like a cold or the flu or something. The Pegasus galaxy flu? Unless someone brought it with them from Earth.

Anna stood in the entrance to the infirmary for a few moments. It seemed like a slow morning. She looked around. Doctor Beckett and Jennifer were sharing an early morning coffee and apparently talking about something important.

Jennifer saw her first. "Good morning, Anna. What are you doing here so early? I thought we weren't meeting until well after lunch." She looked around like she thought maybe she'd gotten the time horribly wrong.

"Yes," Anna said. "I'm not here for lessons. Radek is sick…"

"Oh?" Doctor Beckett looked concerned. "Is he coughing? Congested?" She nodded. "Light-sensitive?" When Anna paused, he looked for other words. "Uh, photophobia?" That was at least close to something that she could guess what it meant. When she nodded, he looked at Jennifer. "Seems to be going around." He went to a nearby shelf and picked off a package of medicine.

"What is it?" Anna asked.

"Nothing to be concerned about, love. A few people from Doctor McKay's science team have come down with flu-like symptoms, too. I'll go check up on him, bring decongestants and… bring these…" He continued talking to himself as he rounded the shelf. "Jennifer, can you hold down the fort for a few minutes?"

Jennifer nodded with a grin. "Absolutely." She looked at Anna. "Also want to make sure he's drinking lots of fluids."

"But not coffee," Doctor Beckett put in. "If it is the flu, he'll want to sleep through it." He looked at the medications in his hands. "Ah, but I'll tell him that myself." He walked out of the infirmary, leaving Anna and Jennifer standing in the otherwise empty room.

Jennifer turned to Anna. "So what's on the list for you today?" she asked.

Anna shrugged. She wondered if he had already told Doctor McKay he was sick and not going to be there. "I think I'll go to Doctor McKay's lab and tell him that Radek is sick."

"Oh, better hurry," Jennifer said. "He's going offworld later this morning."

Anna had to imagine that Doctor McKay wouldn't care, but someone else might.

Atlantis in the early morning was busy, but tranquil at the same time. It was, for some reason, the time of day most people decided to run their errands. Down long, window-lined hallways, the city's tall towers cast bars of shadows. The morning's sea air seemed stronger and sweeter than the rest of the day… At least, it did to Anna. Maybe she wasn't quite used to it.

The stairs up to the lab were wide. Anna couldn't imagine them being used to full capacity, ever. The scientists that worked there didn't seem to use them very often. Just in the morning when they came, and the afternoon when they left. Sometimes the middle of the night when they left…

She looked into Doctor McKay's lab.

"Yes, what?" Doctor McKay looked up before she could say anything. He looked around her and past her. "Oh. Zelenka isn't coming either."

Anna shook her head. "Doctor Beckett thinks he has the flu."

"Yeah, him and everyone else." Doctor McKay spun in his chair to face Collins. "Why aren't you sick, hm?"

"I've always had a healthy immune system," Collins answered absently, not even looking at him. Collins had his face decidedly rested in his hands as he stared at his screen. He periodically tapped his temples. Didn't generally look very pleased.

Doctor McKay didn't pay any attention to that. "He'll be out a few days, then?" Doctor McKay asked her, spinning back around. He didn't give Anna a chance to answer, probably because he already knew the answer. "I suppose that means you're on your own today. Unless you'd prefer I leave you in Collins' uniquely incapable hands."

"At least I'm unique," Collins said.

"And I mean that sincerely," Doctor McKay said with a grin. "I think you could use a break to get that scenario I assigned—what was it, last week?—finished."

"Sounds like a good break," Anna said. She'd taken so long on it simply because Elizabeth wanted a paper on ancient Earth cultures compared to what they knew of the Ancients of this city. It was a lot of reading. A lot of inferring. A lot of guessing.

And it was a lot of English.

"I thought this one wouldn't take you as long," Doctor McKay said.

"I have a paper," Anna said. She smiled. "And you didn't give me a deadline."

"Hm." Doctor McKay looked back at his computer screen. "I'll be sure to correct that next time. Your dad also has a problem with deadlines. Of course, his deadlines are usually more literal."

"McKay." Collins looked up from his computer with a smug look on his face.

"What is it?" Doctor McKay asked.

"Speaking of deadlines," Collins said. "Weren't you supposed to be in the jumper bay… now?"

Doctor McKay looked at his computer screen—apparently at a clock there. "Crap." He gathered his tablet and bolted past Anna.

Collins watched with amusement and then looked at her. "Let me know if you need help on that. Whatever it is. I'd appreciate the diversion."

"Thank you." She went to Doctor McKay's chair and jumped up. She spun toward his computer screen, where lines of code sat waiting for any additions. She would have loved to know what he was working on and how it worked, but they'd thus far refrained from giving her any useful information on the code that helped Atlantis run.

She spun toward Collins. "What are you working on?"

He glanced up a moment, then back at his screen. "Just streamlining a few things for the power distribution," he said. "Even though we have the ZPM now, the naquadah generators are backups and supplements if needed."

Anna nodded like she understood every word of that. It wasn't the words that were the problem, anyway. "Can I watch?"

He chuckled. "I'm not exactly doing anything to watch right now. There's some sort of error in here and I cannot find it for the life of me."

Anna scooted her chair around behind Collins.

"Doctor McKay wanted to get you into Asgard/Human coding before you touched Ancient/Human," he said.

"I don't know just Human coding, yet."

"You have the books, don't you?" Collins asked. He hesitated only a moment to tap his cursor up a few lines, where he added a bracket, and then a few words while he spoke. "Maybe you should start there."

The man was a marvel. Talking and typing English at the same time. English, less-thans, greater-thans, slashes, hyphens, and periods. He spoke English and Ancient/Human coding.

Even still, learning just Human coding seemed so boring. She'd touched on the most basic computer languages at home, and she always thought they were interesting. And then she'd learned that there were aliens. That sort of ruined everything.

Anna sighed and nodded. "I guess."

He paused his typing and looked over his shoulder at her. "But the best way to learn is to do."

#

"Good lord. You look like hell."

Radek didn't appreciate Carson's observation, but he wasn't going to argue. He probably did. " _Oh, really?_ " he mumbled, walking back into the room after opening the door. He shaded his eyes from the light outside and kept his eyes on the floor, but it didn't do any good.

He could only barely see the room, but at least it was about in the same condition as it was every day. Living with Anna was very much like living alone. Except that sometimes there was someone else to talk to in the room. Or not talk to, as it happened. He vaguely remembered her speaking to him earlier... was it earlier? Anyway, he didn't remember talking back.

Carson emptied some drugs out of his pockets onto the nearby counter while Radek all but collapsed on the couch and covered his eyes. "Don't worry about it. It's probably not serious. Seems to be going around."

"I'm not worried," Radek grumbled. At this point, he didn't care if it did kill him. This was the worst cold or flu or whatever the hell it was, ever. "I told Anna I'd be fine. I don't really need a house call."

Radek squinted up when Carson came next to the couch. "She doesn't want you to suffer," Carson said. "That's good, right?"

"Yeah, it's good." It was touching, really. She probably thought he'd suffered enough this past week.

His head pounded, his eyes watered, and every muscle felt tight and limp at the same time. Every breath tickled his lungs to the point of coughing fits that lasted a good five minutes sometimes. "Since you're here, you have anything so that I can sleep?" he asked hopefully. Sleep like a rock or a log or any other inanimate object that didn't have to see or feel anything for a very long time.

"Aye. Let me have a look at you first. Sit up."

Radek was uninterested in a checkup, but Carson had the power of drugs. He did as he was told. Carson scanned him with a little handheld Ancient device, clicking his tongue in disappointment. "You need to take better care of yourself, Radek."

"I eat three good meals a day. Sometimes I even eat vegetables."

Carson chuckled as he swept his stethoscope from around his neck. "Was that a joke?"

Radek smiled. Damn, even smiling hurt. He closed his eyes and hung his head. It might have been a joke. "I don't know anymore."

"Take a deep breath please," Carson said, pressing the stethoscope on Radek's chest.

Radek tried to take a deep breath, but, well, good luck with that. A violent fit of coughs seized his lungs, not letting him breathe for what felt like minutes. Carson might have been talking to him, but he couldn't hear over the spasms of his diaphragm. After what felt like an eternity, Carson helped him lie back on the couch.

"Alright, don't take any more deep breaths," Carson mumbled.

That was supposed to be a joke, too.

Radek gave him a half-hearted thumbs up and covered his eyes with one hand. "Sorry."

"You're sick," Carson mumbled, continuing his examination. "No need to apologize." Radek was mostly unaware of what was going on for the next few minutes except that his eyes had begun to ache. That was a whole new level of awful. "Alright, your lymph nodes are swollen, and you have a high fever. I'm not worried, but I'm not sure if this is some new strain we haven't encountered from this galaxy, or something from ours. We're running tests to see, but in the meantime, I'm going to come back to see you tonight."

"I'll be here." Probably right in this exact spot. He didn't think he could stand anymore. Or move at all, really.

Carson sighed. "Okay. Well." He slapped a pair of pills into Radek's hand. "That'll let you sleep. It'll take about thirty minutes to kick in. In the meantime... uh... is that a tea kettle?"

Radek looked through his cracked fingers to see the blurry image of Carson silhouetted against the window. "Yeah, Anna drinks tea."

"Perfect." Carson went to put the kettle on and started humming pleasantly. It was incredibly loud for some reason.

Radek swallowed the two little pills Carson gave him and hoped he was exaggerating about the thirty minutes. He put his head back on the armrest and contemplated the insides of his eyelids for a few seconds. "How did she seem?"

"Who?"

"Who else?"

"Um..."

Radek pushed himself up onto his elbows and glared in Carson's direction. Sort of. He couldn't help but squint even though the window was beyond his field of vision. "Anna, Carson. Who the hell do you think I'm talking about?"

Carson shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, maybe there was some lady in the science department I didn't know about."

Some lady, right. That was the thing about Atlantis. Every single woman on Atlantis was too smart for that. Except... Doctor Brown?

Radek flopped back down onto the couch before realizing what a huge mistake that was. His head felt like a drum beaten by a particularly enthusiastic middle school marching band. The whole band. He threw his hands over his eyes and tried not to breathe. Breathing just made everything worse.

"Anna seemed fine," Carson answered. "A little bored, maybe."

He didn't answer and he hoped Carson understood. This was awful. He just needed the sun to set. Just needed to sleep. "Carson," he said quietly. "Could you close the windows, please?"

Carson didn't move for a second before crossing the floor uncertainly. "Yeah, of course. Sorry, I don't know why I didn't do that when I came in."

"It's fine, I..." He didn't think of it either, until just now. The room fell into comparative darkness and pounding in his head lessened. That was something.

What felt like a few seconds later, Carson was tapping his shoulder and handing him a steaming mug. "Drink this first. Then sleep."

"I'd rather just skip all that and..."

"No." Carson put the mug squarely in his hands and helped him sit before taking the seat on the couch beside him. "Half of it, at least, then I'll let you be."

Whatever it was, it was disgusting. Or maybe it wasn't. Nothing was tasting right recently. Maybe it was just today. Today and yesterday. He took another gulp and opened his eyes, finally. He didn't realize they'd been closed. The room was so dark he could barely see anything, but he felt like he was looking right into the sun anyway.

"Maybe this will teach you," Carson mumbled.

"Teach me what?" Probably a lesson he didn't need to learn. Like that lesson in humility he got this week. "Never mind," he said before Carson could speak. "Tell me later. Or, better yet, never tell me. I don't want to know what I'm supposed to learn from this."

"I don't recommend taking vitamins daily for nothing, you know," Carson said.

Radek chuckled, coughed, and took another gulp of tea. Carson pulled a quilt from the nearby chair and handed it to him. Sometimes the best way to learn was to be hit over the head with his mistakes. He would start taking his vitamins. He's start telling people exactly what he thought of their idiotic ideas, especially Colonel Sheppard.

Maybe.

Tomorrow. He'd start doing all that tomorrow.

* * *

 _A/N: Happy new year! See you next year. ;)  
_ _Rodney isn't a doctor, right? Well… not that kind of doctor… But what is even with that line in Trinity?  
Also, I was thinking about it, and Zelenka pronounces "ZPM" like Americans... Is that weird? Shouldn't he be pronouncing the ZPM more or less like Rodney does? I could be getting my letters confused, but wouldn't that make it more like, uh... "ZetPM"? I mean, just because Rodney makes a point of saying it like "ZedPM." Not that I ever distinguish between how Rodney or anyone else says it... I guess I just sort of leave it to the imagination._

* * *

 _Next time: Just trying to find home._


	33. To Home

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: Radek's sick (since around chapter 30). Anna's not. Time to explore._

* * *

 **Chapter 33. To Home.**

"If you're looking for Doctor Weir, she's offworld."

Anna stood at the entrance to the control room, unsure what to do with the rest of her day now. She looked down at the tablet in her hands and the paper she'd finished. She had high hopes the English was readable. Preferably above the level of a second-grader.

 _We'll work on that_ , Elizabeth had said.

"Do you know when she'll be back?" she asked. She walked over to Chuck's console.

Chuck shrugged. "Check in is in two hours, but you never can tell with these trade negotiations."

Anna nodded knowingly, even though she didn't really know what it was like with trade negotiations. Maybe trading took a bit longer? "So… you mean in a few days?"

"Depends." Chuck smiled, seizing his nearby cup of coffee and taking a gulp. "Could be back in thirty minutes with arrows flying in on their heels."

Anna frowned.

"Joking, Anna. Joking." He looked at her tablet and then at her. "It's not something I could help you with, is it?"

Anna shook her head. On the other hand, he did speak English. "It's a paper that was due today. It's alright."

It wasn't that unusual that offworld missions put back her assignments a few days. For being in charge of Atlantis, Elizabeth was sometimes not on Atlantis, even in the last three weeks. She was a foreign dignitary to other worlds, and the few peoples they'd made friends with liked to know exactly who they were dealing with. Many times they came to Atlantis, but Elizabeth visited them as often as she could.

"Oh. Well, I probably wouldn't be able to help with that," Chuck said.

Anna shook her head. Not that she meant to agree so readily. But this also meant she had nothing to do. Chuck, apparently, didn't either. It was getting later and Atlantis was running on its overnight skeleton crew. Anna didn't know if Chuck was here because he was supposed to be or because he wanted to see Doctor Weir safely back.

"What do you do when you're waiting for the teams to come back in the middle of the night?" Anna asked.

Chuck smiled sheepishly and reached under his console. He pulled out a notebook and flipped it open to the first page. It was a pencil drawing of the 'gate, and what looked like Sheppard's team. It was just shadows in the shape of humans, but Anna was pretty certain. Not amazing, but not by any means awful, either.

He probably had lots of time to practice.

"Nice," Anna said. "Is that Colonel Sheppard?" She pointed to the distinct silhouette.

Chuck smiled at her. "Yeah." He looked back at the picture. "You could tell?"

Anna shrugged. "It just looks like him." She looked around at the only other person in the control room. Anna didn't know what she was working on.

"You have any hobbies?" Chuck asked.

"I play violin…" Anna said. "I haven't played recently." Time certainly got away on Atlantis.

"Do you play chess?"

Anna wondered where that came from. "I used to. Why? Do you?" She joined the chess club at school, but only because a few classmates begged her. It would have been too small without her.

"Not usually," Chuck answered. "I was just wondering because your dad plays. Pretty well from what I understand."

"Yes, he does." He played in chess tournaments a long time ago, anyway. Taught her how to play when she was too small to understand how to think more than one step ahead. She didn't suppose he gave up playing chess just because he'd given up teaching her chess.

"Katie said the acoustics in the 'gate room down there are fantastic. She plays the flute, so I guess she might know a thing or two about it." Chuck grinned, like maybe this was just the sort of distraction he was looking for. "You should give it a shot."

Anna looked down toward the 'gate room. She smiled at Chuck. "May I?"

"Yeah, go get it."

Anna put the tablet down on Chuck's console and ran to the nearest transporter. In a flash of light, she found herself in the south-east pier, dashing toward her door. A light was on when she opened it.

" _You're up_." Anna scolded herself for her statement of the obvious. But he looked a little better than he did this morning. It wasn't much of an improvement, but still.

" _Sort of_." His voice was quiet and hoarse. He glanced toward her from his seat on the sofa. A heavy quilt wrapped around him like a cocoon, with two holes for his hands to hold his tablet. Probably working. Did he do anything else? " _What are you in such a hurry for?_ "

" _Nothing._ " Anna walked in, trying to catch her breath. " _I was coming to get my violin. I wanted to try the acoustics in the 'gate room_."

" _Oh_." He watched her while she crossed the room and stood in front of her door.

Anna paused and glanced around. " _Um… can I get you anything?_ " He shook his head. " _Jennifer said you needed to drink a lot. Do you want tea? Or I can get you crackers or something from the mess hall when I come back_."

He looked around. " _I suppose_." He nodded.

She went into her room. Her violin sat on its stand near the window, just where she'd left it since she played for the Athosians.

Radek was still watching her when she came back out into the main room, but this time he was smiling.

" _Have fun_ ," he said.

She nodded, put on a smile for him. " _I will, thank you_."

Chuck was drawing when she got back to the control room. She stood behind him for a few moments, watching. The Stargate, again. He was going to get very good at drawing it if that was all he did. He also had Colonel Sheppard's shadow pretty well down.

"Are you sure it's okay?" She tapped her bow on her thigh anxiously.

"Yeah, yeah." Chuck waved that away. "I don't think anything dangerous will be happening. And you'll have warning before the 'gate opens, just… don't stand in the circle." He smiled a little.

Anna nodded and cantered down the stairs to the Stargate and halted. It seemed so much larger down here than it did from up there. The room felt hollow, her footsteps echoing in the expanse and off the blank windows. The Stargate loomed above her like a creature of infinite past, just waiting. Waiting for what, she had no idea. It had seen so much… what could it see now that would be new?

She'd only been down here once, the time she'd been through the Stargate… she'd been too excited to look at it. Really look at it.

She took in a deep breath and walked to the edge of the circle on the floor. The sound of her footsteps echoed in the expansive 'gateroom. She felt so small in the shadow of the monolithic ring. It wasn't just her size. She felt trivial and insignificant, casting her tiny shadow inside its own on the red floor. A beautiful, shimmering silvery blue, with shining specks like stars in the ring.

Anna raised her violin, unsure why she was playing for the Stargate. She didn't know why, but it almost seemed wrong to play facing anything but the 'gate.

" _This is from a song written about my home_ ," she whispered. Now she wasn't sure why she was addressing the Stargate. But, for the moment, it seemed to be the only thing listening to her, her only audience. " _It is my favorite melody._ " She pressed her lips together and set her bow to the violin. She closed her eyes.

Má vlast. My Homeland.

She swayed to the tune. Sometimes she thought it sounded victorious, other times nostalgic, or haunting. She tried to imagine the river the composer saw when he wrote the piece, with ruined castles and moonlight on the wild waters. It was never what she saw when she had opportunity to see the river that ran through Prague.

Anna stopped. Froze really. Carefully, she lifted her bow, lowered her violin. She wasn't even on the same planet as that river anymore, was she?

She looked up at the Stargate. " _Maybe something else._ _Something more appropriate_."

She enjoyed a few melody lines from Dvořák's "New World Symphony," so she started playing one and segued right into another with no regards to the order or transitions of the piece itself. She doubted that Chuck and the other technician could tell the difference.

She often wondered what Dvořák heard when he listened to his symphony. This was written in the USA, about the USA. To her ears, it sounded sad. Maybe he was sad. After all, didn't he want Americans to find their own music? He made music for his own country the same way, from old folk dances. He looked into history and found the future of music. But this was generally considered his greatest piece… and it was for a new place. About a place that wasn't home. A place he ultimately left because nothing really compared to home.

Maybe that was why it seemed sad.

"That first one was nice," Chuck said from the balcony above. "What was it?"

"It's a theme from 'Die Moldau,'" she said.

When Chuck nodded, it was obvious he had no idea what she was talking about. "Bach?" he guessed, but he was clearly joking.

She laughed. "No. Bedřich Smetana. A Czech composer."

Chuck looked impressed at that. Anna wasn't sure why. "And the second one?"

"Antonín Dvořák. Another Czech composer."

"I guess I didn't know there were so many Czech composers."

Anna smiled, even though she'd only played music by two. "All the greatest ones are."

She didn't know if she believed that.

She went back to playing, going back and forth between the two pieces in the bits of melody she could remember. The music echoed and bounced off the walls, amplified by the ceiling's heavy vault. It sounded actually good in here. She was familiar with the sound of the violin, but it seemed to surround her in the 'gate room, flood the space from floor to ceiling. Her bow skipped a few times, and she nearly cringed at the timbre of a few notes sliding from the strings. The Stargate and Chuck didn't seem to mind. It wasn't a performance worthy of any recital at home… but she wasn't at home, was she?

She played until she ran out of notes.

She finally lowered her violin, took a deep breath, and looked up at the Stargate. This was her Homeland. This was her New World.

* * *

 _A/N: I was in a music appreciation class well over a year ago now while I was still just tinkering with this story... To help myself remember the ridiculously long list of composers, I wrote a couple of music pieces into stories I was writing at the time. Anna got to help me remember my Czech composers. Because, you know, super appropriate. Anyway, if you haven't listened to_ Má vlast _, the symphonic poem by Bedřich Smetana, give it a listen. Especially "The Moldau" (the German name of the Vltava), the melody of which Anna plays for the Stargate. And then there's Dvořák... Aced that class, by the way. Thanks, Anna.  
_ _Anyway. Welcome to the New Year, and thanks for reading!_

* * *

 _Next time: Remember me?_


	34. Day Off

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech."  
This is a thought._

 _Last time: Radek has some sort of sickness (since chapter 30 or so). Anna's been working hard on her homework. I think we all deserve a break._

* * *

 **Chapter 34. Day Off.**

Anna glanced up to the sound of the door to Radek's room sliding open. He looked worse than yesterday… He shuffled out into the main room, dressed in his usual khaki-and-blues like he was just going to go into the lab today.

Anna squinted at him. " _What are you doing?"_

" _I'm late."_ Radek made for the door at a pace that might shame a snail, but not much else.

Anna beat him to the door without much of a problem. " _You're still sick. You should be in bed_."

Radek gave her a quick glare for that, but she couldn't take him seriously with his foggy, red eyes. His voice sounded scratchy and he squinted toward the light.

" _Come on_." She took his hand.

" _It's just a cold."_ Radek nevertheless didn't fight her about it too hard.

" _That's not what Doctor Beckett said."_ Anna led him to the couch.

He seemed grateful to sit even though he looked toward the door. " _He actually said he didn't know what it was. Some new Pegasus galaxy illness that didn't seem too serious_."

Anna sighed and went toward the kitchenette. It wasn't much, just a sink, a thing like a stove next to it, and a recessed box in the wall that kept food cold. " _What Doctor Beckett said was that you would be feeling better in a few days. So you should give it a few days."_

Anna filled the tea kettle with water, remembering Doctor Beckett's admonition about the tea. She set it to heat, knowing she'd have a few minutes to wait. She stood behind the couch. " _There's no reason to go to work when you're sick, is there?"_

He'd taken to staring blankly out the window as if concentrating on breathing was enough for him right now. He wheezed quietly for a few seconds. " _There's no reason not to_ ," he said finally.

" _If you take the time to rest, you'll be back to work and at a hundred percent in no time_."

He didn't object, so Anna made the tea. Peppermint, or, rather, something like it, apparently grew in jungles on the mainland. The Athosians sang its praises as a curative for many common ailments and it was delicious as tea anyway. At least, it was in Anna's opinion. She brought him a steaming mug and sat on the couch next to him.

" _I think it's best if…_ " She took a breath and started again. " _You deserve a few days off_."

Radek looked at her askance, inhaling the tea vapors.

Maybe because they both knew that Doctor McKay most definitely wouldn't take it that way. He wouldn't say Radek deserved anything. Of course, he probably wouldn't say that about anyone.

" _I don't care what Doctor McKay says_ ," Anna added quietly.

Radek leaned back on the couch. Anna assumed he meant to get comfortable and spend the day recovering. Anna suspected that Doctor McKay's treatment of him during the whole fiasco with Cadman had something to do with Radek's coming down so suddenly ill. Anna didn't imagine it was like him to get so sick.

On the other hand, it wasn't as though anyone on Atlantis gave their own health first priority.

Except Doctor McKay, perhaps. But he took it a little too far.

" _I'm sure Doctor McKay wouldn't want to catch whatever it is that you have_ ," Anna offered.

Radek gave half a laugh in response, but didn't say anything.

Anna wandered over to the desk where she'd been working on her sociology homework. It was something about world justice systems. Anna never thought she'd find something about other Earth cultures so mind-numbingly dull. She was in another galaxy. Still couldn't quite believe it.

" _I need to go see Elizabeth_ ," Anna said finally. " _Help with a paper I'm writing_."

Radek nodded, slurping the tea. " _That's fine_."

" _You promise me you won't go to the lab?"_ Anna asked as she gathered her things. He didn't answer for a few seconds, so she turned to make sure he hadn't made a quick dash for the door.

He hadn't. He was just sitting there, smiling almost thoughtfully at her. " _Yeah, I promise_."

Anna pursed her lips, unsure what else to say. " _Okay. Well. See you_." She hurried to the door, hoping to get some time in practicing with Teyla and Ronon since they'd come back from their mission last night.

" _See you_ ," Radek answered. " _And thank you for the tea_."

Anna smiled as she opened the door. " _You're welcome_."

#

"This is very nice, Anna," Elizabeth said as she scrolled through her paper.

Anna couldn't help but smile. "Thank you. I worked very hard on it."

"I can tell." Elizabeth continued scrolling and then looked up with a smile. "Very good. Your English has improved immensely."

"Speaking more English helps," Anna said.

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes, there is a lot of English around here. I hope it hasn't been too difficult for you."

"I speak Czech with Radek. In the early mornings and evenings." It was still difficult whenever she had to talk to Doctor McKay. Elizabeth, Jennifer, and Doctor Collins were much more patient and slow to speak. She had a hard time understanding Doctor Beckett sometimes, too, but at least he could translate himself for her. Besides, Anna imagined the same was true for some English-speakers trying to decipher their native words through her accent.

Elizabeth smiled, too. "That's good. Speaking of Radek, how is he? I heard he was sick."

"He is," Anna said. "Doctor Beckett says he'll feel better in a few days."

"I'm glad it's not serious," Elizabeth offered.

Anna nodded, but didn't get to say anything else because, apparently, Elizabeth had other plans.

"Anna, you remember Iskaan, right?"

Anna frowned a little bit as she tried to remember. "The Athosian. He plays panpipes."

Elizabeth nodded happily. "Yes, that's him. He and his father are here for several days to trade with their offworld trading partners. I thought you might like to know. You may want to reconnect with him."

"He probably doesn't remember me," Anna mumbled.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "He asked about you specifically when he and his father landed this morning." Anna didn't know what her response was to that, but she must have made a funny face. Elizabeth laughed. "You don't have to see him if you don't want to. I just thought you'd want to know."

Anna nodded slowly. "Yes. Thank you." She didn't know what else to say. She was suddenly aware of how long it had been since she saw anyone her own age. She couldn't wait to get out of here. "What is my next assignment, please?" she asked.

Elizabeth smiled knowingly. "Take the day off, Anna. You've been working hard. You deserve it."

"Thank you, Elizabeth." She went toward the door, then paused and turned around. "Do you know where he is?"

"He is usually in the Jumper Bay, getting their wares ready."

Anna didn't wait for her to continue. "Thank you!" She ran out of the office, through the Control Room, and stampeded down the stairs. She imagined she irritated a few of the 'gate technicians, but none of them shouted too loudly as she dashed by. She turned corners and flew up the stairs until the huge doors of the Jumper Bay swept open before her.

Just as Elizabeth had said, Iskaan, his father, and half of an offworld team were pulling things off the Puddle Jumper they arrived on from the mainland. Everyone paused what they were doing just long enough to see who came in… only Iskaan stopped for longer.

He smiled, slinging a bag he'd been about to pick up over his shoulder. He walked over to her. "Anna?" he asked. "You got my message."

Anna nodded. "Elizabeth told me you were going to be here for a few days."

"Yes, well, sort of," Iskaan said. "We stay here and visit all the planets we trade with. Sometimes we are only gone for a few hours, but sometimes we are gone for the whole day—or more."

"Is it fun?" It sounded fun to Anna. She couldn't imagine it not being fun… going to other planets. But maybe it was so commonplace to Iskaan, he couldn't think of it as being too interesting.

"I suppose," Iskaan said. "We used to go by ourselves, but now we have to wait for a team to be assigned to us to go. The Genii once used an Athosian IDC to get onto Atlantis, so as a security precaution we no longer go alone." He didn't seem happy with that.

Anna wondered what happened with that. She decided to ask Colonel Sheppard later. "At least," she offered in a small voice, "you get to go offworld."

Iskaan nodded. "That's true. Number your blessings and your difficulties will seem small. That's an old Athosian proverb."

"Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thornbush has roses. That's a proverb from Earth."

Iskaan smiled. "Your planet?"

"Yes."

"You must have been to many planets. Your people are explorers, aren't they?" Iskaan asked.

"Some of them, I suppose. But I've only been to three planets. Earth, this one, and another planet where… It's a long story." Anna couldn't imagine having anything like this conversation back home. Well… perhaps, something like it. On Earth they spoke of countries, like crossing a river was a great accomplishment.

Crossing the vastness of space. That was really something to talk about.

"Really? Only three?" He shook his head in marvel. "Earth must really be something for so many people to stay there all the time."

Anna smiled a little fondly. "It has its problems, but it is a nice planet." Fortunately, Wraith were not one of those problems. Anna imagined that if she didn't live on Atlantis, she might never stay on the same planet for very long here in the Pegasus galaxy.

"Maybe one day I will see it," Iskaan said. "In the meantime, you should come trading with us. You should visit more planets than just three. There is so much to see."

Anna's heart thrilled at the suggestion. Her? Go to more planets? Radek would never agree… But he was sick. She shouldn't bother him. But she couldn't go without permission… without someone's permission…

"I would really like to go," Anna said.

"Really?" Iskaan glanced back toward his father. "Father, can Anna come with us?"

Iskaan's father—Anna forgot his name—shrugged and nodded. "Makes no difference to me."

"But I need to ask if I can go," Anna said. She just hadn't figured out who to ask yet. It needed to be someone who would say yes and most definitely not double check with Radek beforehand. Elizabeth was out.

Colonel Sheppard. He would let her go and take her at her word that Radek said it was alright.

"We will be busy unloading for a bit," Iskaan said. "You should go ask. I'll show you Delbradia's ruins. Arkos has beautiful lakes that glow different colors at night—you have to see them."

"You don't have to convince me," Anna mumbled. She smiled as Iskaan went back to helping his father. "I'll be back soon," she called, then said to herself, "as soon as I figure out how to ask Colonel Sheppard…"

* * *

 _A/N: And, for reference, Iskaan was introduced in Chapter 21 (and this is the only other chapter he's appeared in)._

* * *

 _Next time: I know who you are, and I'm not a fan..._


	35. Can You Help Me?

_Last time: Radek is sick (since around chapter 30), and Anna has an invitation to do something cool. Assuming that Radek lets her do anything cool ever._

* * *

 **Chapter 35. Can You Help Me?**

"Why do you think that I can help you?"

Anna sighed. "You can't?"

"No." Colonel Sheppard shrugged and frowned while he seemed to consider the possibilities. "I mean, maybe I could give the okay for you to come along if I were escorting Rhetto and his son offworld."

"And," Anna said, "you aren't."

"Besides, Elizabeth would have to give her okay, too." He looked at her closely.

"I can't ask Elizabeth. She'll make me ask Radek and he's going to say no, and I'll be stuck on Atlantis." She slouched, feeling a little juvenile for this mini-temper tantrum. Then again, she had nothing on some of Doctor McKay's. "Forever."

Sheppard smiled a little. "Not forever."

"Close enough." Pouting was just as bad. She glanced at Colonel Sheppard. "Besides, he's sick. I don't want to bother him. Maybe she'll let me go without…?"

"You might as well ask. He might just say yes. You never know."

Anna sighed and leaned on the table. If he actually thought that, Colonel Sheppard had no concept of who Radek Zelenka was. She was almost ashamed when she just considered lying to Elizabeth to get offworld… That could easily backfire, though. If Radek ever found out, not only would she be forbidden from even looking out a window, but Elizabeth would never trust her again.

"Do you know who is escorting them?" Anna asked.

Sheppard hummed in indecision for a few moments. Then he got it. "Major Rutherford," he said. Then he made a face. "Maybe you don't want to go on this particular outing, Anna."

"Why not? Is something wrong with Major Rutherford?"

"No. Major Rutherford's a great guy. But just take my word on it." He got up from his seat in the conference room. He looked around, then looked at Anna. "Don't you have homework or something?"

"I've been doing nothing but homework almost nonstop for three weeks!" Anna said.

"Sounds like a record," Sheppard said. "Give Zelenka well-wishes from the team."

"Except Doctor McKay, right?" Anna joked.

Colonel Sheppard apparently found that amusing. "A bunch of the scientists seem to have whatever it is he's got. Sounds like hell," he said, instead of commenting on Doctor McKay's apathy. "Make sure you don't catch it."

"I don't think I will..." Anna didn't know how it started, but she'd been sure to mostly keep her distance from him. Also, she'd been drinking lots of hot tea since he got sick. She wasn't sure if that was a scientifically-proven preventative measure, but it made her feel better about it. "Especially if I can figure out a way to get offworld."

"Well, maybe you can use that in your pitch," Colonel Sheppard said. "Could work. You never know."

Anna grinned.

He didn't say anything else except to wish Anna good luck on her school work. He left Anna sitting in the conference room alone. Anna leaned back in her chair with a sigh. She needed someone else to be behind her going on this trip. Almost anyone at all. Anna slipped from the conference room, through the control room, and into Elizabeth's office. Elizabeth glanced up, smiled, and went back to what she was doing for a moment.

"Back so soon? Did you see Iskaan?"

Anna nodded. "I saw him. He asked me to go on the trading mission with him."

Elizabeth smiled a little. "Did he?" She stopped working and folded her hands on her desk. "They're going to a place called Delbradia. There are some amazing ruins just south of the village."

"That's what Iskaan said. He wanted to show me them." She took a deep breath and put her hands behind her back. "I know you have to approve anybody going through the 'gate. So can I go?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes, of course. Radek has given his okay, as well?"

Of course. Just as she suspected. She sat in the chair across from Elizabeth's desk and looked at her. She had to tell Elizabeth the truth or she'd never leave. She knew that much. Radek… she guessed she could lie to him. Maybe.

"Not yet," she said finally. "I wanted to ask you first."

"It's as safe as any planet could be," Elizabeth said. "I'm sure the Athosians would like to have an extra hand to help, as well."

Anna nodded. She would like to do some manual labor for a change. Her brain was tired from all the work it was doing. "I guess… I'd better go ask Radek, then," she said.

"You should." Elizabeth went back to her work after looking at her seriously.

Anna nodded and left her office. She hesitated on the catwalk between Elizabeth's office and the control room. The Stargate was as beautiful today as it was two nights ago. If only she could go through the gate.

She found herself back in the Jumper Bay. She wasn't sure why. Putting off asking Radek for as long as possible. Maybe she'd think of a way to make this more appealing. She glanced around for Iskaan, but he was nowhere to be seen. Major Rutherford and half of his team seemed to be there, helping Rhetto get things unloaded from the puddle jumper.

Major Rutherford looked like a nice enough guy. But according to Sheppard, he wasn't the problem. He had a Sergeant and a Lieutenant on his team, and a science team member. Anna only vaguely recognized him as the head of his own little team of researchers.

He stood with his back to her, checking things off on his tablet. He was pretty tall and American, with a brown haired pony-tail stuck into his collar. Anna approached him quietly. Maybe he'd be willing to help her get offworld for the day.

"Hi," she said.

He cast a glance over his shoulder. He was wearing glasses and an unamused grimace. He sighed and went back to his work.

"I'm—"

"I know who you are."

Anna didn't quite know how to respond to that. She gave him a second look, and acknowledged that she, at least, recognized him. But that didn't mean much. She recognized a lot of people, either from her trips to the mess hall, the control center, any of the science labs, biology... She was sure she'd seen every last entomologist, but she had no idea what their names were.

"I don't know who you are," she offered.

"Doctor Peter Kavanagh. Did you want anything else?"

As far as she knew, she'd done nothing to justify such hostility. Not to this man, anyway. Not that she remembered. Maybe Doctor McKay shoved some of her grading off on him whenever Collins wasn't available.

That didn't make any sense. Collins always did the grading. He volunteered. Why would he give away something he volunteered for? Besides, he always knew exactly what Anna's assignments were when she asked him questions and... Yeah. Anna was sure she'd done nothing to deserve this.

But since he mentioned it… "Yes, actually."

He sighed, probably as audibly as he was able, and turned to her. "Are you slowing me down on purpose?"

"No. Have we met before?" Anna asked. She couldn't imagine that he would treat her this way unless they had met before. She had the feeling she would remember that, though.

"I usually make it a point to avoid small children."

"What?" Now was most likely a bad time to point out that she was fifteen. Maybe he knew that. Whoever he was, this Doctor Peter Kavanagh.

"I don't know if you know this, but when Doctor Zelenka decided to stay here instead of on Earth, he sniped that head of department title that I was ready to take."

That wasn't her fault. Well… in a roundabout way, it was. If she hadn't turned up, Radek would have had the job anyway. So it really wasn't her fault. By agreeing to come to Atlantis, she actually maintained status quo. It was really a fluke it was available in the first place.

She shouldn't say that, either. "I didn't know."

He smirked. "He probably didn't tell you because I'm much more qualified."

More likely because he was a pigheaded American. There went her chance of going offworld. She didn't realize how hurt she felt until he turned his back to her. It wasn't like he was telling her he deserved her job, and Radek probably wouldn't even argue with him. Maybe that was why it hurt... Even if Doctor Peter Kavanagh wasn't more qualified to have his own department, it wasn't as if Radek was, either. What did Doctor McKay call him again?

Head of Department, Doctor Fumbles McStupid.

Doctor Kavanagh got back to the job he did have, making sure all his equipment was there. He pointed at each item in every trunk and marked off the appropriate item on his list.

"Why are you going offworld with Rhetto and Iskaan?"

"Investigating some ruins for Ancient tech." His tone was clipped an annoyed. It was beginning to get old.

Anna pressed her lips together. That was more promising. "I could help you," she said.

He scoffed and didn't turn back to look at her. Even if Doctor Kavanagh didn't want her help, she could always use that as an excuse, couldn't she? She went around to make sure she knew a few of the devices in the bin… If she offered help, she'd better well be able to give it.

After deciding she knew a handful of Doctor Kavanagh's things, Anna smiled at him.

He hesitated for half a moment, looking around for whatever might have made her grin like that. "What?"

Anna shrugged. "Don't feel too bad about it. Doctor McKay says it's not a real department, anyway."

Kavanagh didn't look at her, but he smiled ever so slightly. Maybe this was going to work after all.

* * *

 _Next time: What if I told you it was safe enough for Kavanagh?_


	36. Bargaining

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought_.

Last _time: Since Radek has the flu or whatever (since about chapter 30), Anna is trying to go on a field trip (since chapter 34)._

* * *

 **Chapter 36. Bargaining.**

The room looked empty. She assumed that Radek was in his room, sleeping. It wasn't Anna's fault if she couldn't ask him, right? If they were on Earth right now, and Anna wanted to go to see a movie, she'd just go. She probably wouldn't get in trouble for that…

On the other hand, she wasn't sure what kind of a parent Radek was. Outside of Atlantis and all the stress it offered, he might have been a really strict and uptight parent, for all she knew. In the end, Anna decided it didn't much matter. Even if he was, she could deal with the consequences of her illicit movie-going later.

But if they were on Earth, they'd be in the USA, which meant the film would be in English. That wouldn't be any fun at all.

Going to another planet seemed like the kind of thing she needed permission for.

She walked to his door, took a deep breath, and asked for entrance.

She didn't have to wait very long for Radek to open the door. She peered in.

Not only was he up and about, but he didn't look half-dead like he had yesterday. He'd been busy. It used to be something of a mess, with piles of clothes and books everywhere just waiting to be put away. He apparently hadn't put any effort into putting his things away after arriving on Atlantis. Now, it was relatively organized. Only one pile of books sat on a desk. The blinds on the windows were open, letting in the overcast day's light.

" _You're feeling better_."

" _Doctor Beckett warned me it's just the medications_." He picked up a book from the stack and considered it. " _I think it's thirty-seven hours free of Rodney_." He hesitated for half a moment, and then turned to grin at her. " _But, who is counting?"_

Anna smiled and stepped into the room, looking around. " _I'm glad. Colonel Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon wanted to tell you to get well soon."_

He didn't say anything, just offered an obligatory smile.

" _And also Iskaan and his father—they're the Athosians we met, remember?"_ He nodded a bit too quickly. She wondered if he actually remembered. " _They are on Atlantis to trade with their partners offworld, and I was wondering… if I could go also?"_

He looked at her for a moment. Anna could feel it coming. _Offworld? Absolutely not_.

" _A member of the science team is going_ ," she said quickly. " _Looking for Ancient tech and… I thought I could help_."

He seemed to reconsider his unspoken thoughts. He flipped through a few pages in his book and then put it in a shelf that was no longer empty. One book. Then he turned around and leaned on the bookshelf. " _I wish I could go with you, but I'm sure Carson wouldn't approve that_."

Anna couldn't help but smile. Two reasons. " _You mean I can go?"_

He hesitated. Sighed. Nodded. " _Yes, you can go._ "

And he wasn't coming. She skipped in excitement even though she could almost hear him thinking about how much he was going to regret this. " _Thank you_."

She tried not to feel too guilty when he smiled at her. " _When are you leaving?"_

Anna wasn't sure, but it seemed like later today or tomorrow. " _Today,"_ she said. She was about to bring up the _several_ _days_ bit, but decided not to. There was no way he'd approve that. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? Besides, it was a lot to ask to be escorted back to the 'gate every night. He'd understand that.

No need to get complicated.

" _Have fun and be careful_."

" _Thank you, thank you_!" Anna ran out of the room. What would a trading mission be like exactly? Would they stay in tents? Was it like the Athosian settlement or… something different? What should she bring…?

She supposed she'd better find that out before she got too excited.

#

Radek watched her leave the room with half a shudder. There was no reason to be worried. The only time he'd gone off-world had been fairly dull.

Since when was a crashed Wraith dart "dull"? He needed to call her back right now and tell her there was no way she was going, didn't he?

He sank down on the edge of his bed and turned the book in his hand over to look at the spine. " _Calm down, she'll be fine._ " The Athosians never went anywhere dangerous. The 'gate teams were always arguing over who _had_ to escort the Athosian traders because it was so boring. Boring was good, right? _Boring_ was synonymous with _no Wraith darts_.

Maybe he should go with her.

That was stupid, so he caught himself back from thinking too far down that road. Anna was fifteen, and if they were on Earth—

If they were on Earth, there would be no Wraith darts to worry about.

There were plenty of other things to worry about on Earth, though. Things Radek hadn't even thought about to worry about before. Things like criminals with various ill intentions, and children with irresponsible and probably illegal access to drugs, alcohol, other items with a negative health impact. Things that the underdeveloped teenage brain wouldn't think about until it was too late.

Anna was smarter than that.

Every parent thought that their child was smarter than that, though. Radek didn't know Anna well enough to make any judgement on that in the first place. Because she never said one word outside of the usual topics of science homework and prime numbers. He was grateful for that, really. He didn't know what to say otherwise. But if she ever said anything outside those topics, he was sure he could figure it out.

That was what he did, right? He figured things out?

Usually by asking people to "stop talking, please." His problems weren't the kind that needed to be talked about, but that was the only way he could think of to understand his daughter any better. He didn't have some sort of Ancient machine to help him out with this one. He felt like he'd spent weeks testing her responses to various conversations, sort of like his early days on Atlantis with the Puddle Jumpers. He loved those things so much he gave them names... They never talked back, but he knew how they worked.

He was worrying over nothing.

There was nothing to be worried about. No Wraith darts, so it was basically like Earth. And if they were on Earth, the last thing a fifteen-year-old would want was her father following her around the mall.

Delbradia was just the mall. Now he just had to get himself to believe that. " _She'll be fine._ "

#

"You're coming then?" Iskaan looked pleased and surprised. Maybe he'd figured out in their short meeting that Radek wasn't exactly the most adventurous sort. That was probably one of the first ideas one could get about Radek. "We are going to Delbradia first. It should only be a few days."

"What should I bring?"

Iskaan laughed. "What do you bring when you leave home for a few days on your planet?"

Sometimes it seemed like she brought far too many things for being gone for only a few days. The things she brought on the trip to Atlantis were few, even in comparison to day-trips back home. "Clothes," she said. Toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, soap. There would probably be no showers on Delbradia, if the Athosian settlement was any indication of what civilization was like in a galaxy where humans were cattle.

Iskaan chuckled. "Good start. You should bring your instrument, too." He pulled his panpipes from his vest. "Was it called a violin?"

Anna could see bringing her instrument with her everywhere if it was as small as his panpipes. Besides, her violin was breakable and expensive. It also wasn't as if she could just get a new one if she broke it. But, then… it was just for fun these days.

"Do you play while you're on trading missions?" Anna asked.

He nodded, his dark eyes bright. "I have friends on Delbradia that perform for their village for festivals. We play whenever I visit them. I thought you would like to join us." He hesitated. "And I know they would like to see your violin."

It was sort of nice to be immediately accepted as interesting and new when the only thing she had to offer was a violin. It seemed so commonplace on Earth. "I'll bring it." She glanced over her shoulder to see Doctor Kavanagh still sorting through his equipment.

Anna nodded in his direction and whispered, "Does Doctor Kavanagh go with you often?"

Iskaan looked, grimaced. "Only sometimes. He doesn't do well outside of Atlantis."

From his interaction with her earlier, it seemed he wouldn't do well in Atlantis, either, but she didn't say anything. "He said he is investigating the ruins, looking for Ancient tech."

"The ruins on Delbradia were the Ancestors'?" His eyes went wide.

Anna shrugged. "It was worth a look. Maybe we can help him look while we're there."

The look on Iskaan's face said he'd much rather do almost anything else. "Maybe we can," he said. "But you can also bring things to trade, in case you see something at the markets that you want."

She hadn't thought of that. There wasn't really a Pegasus galaxy version of a credit card. "Things… like what?" Anna only had a few trinkets from Earth, things with sentimental value for her or her mother.

Iskaan shrugged. "We sell materials and crafts from our hunting, but usually in exchange for crops since we grow very little."

That made sense. Anna decided to look around for something to trade. Bargaining in a market on another planet would be interesting to do just once. "When do we leave?" she asked.

"Tonight."

#

"I heard that you are going Delbradia with Rhetto and Iskaan." Teyla sat in the chair next to Anna. She had some sort of Pegasus-version of an apple in her hand. "That sounds quite enjoyable."

Anna smiled and devoured the rest of her spaghetti and meatballs. "I'm very excited. Iskaan told me to bring something to trade, but I don't know what to bring." Anna remembered someone telling her once that Teyla used to do most of the trading for her people. She would certainly know.

"Oh, you may bring anything," she said. "Delbradia's market is very large. You will most likely find someone who wants whatever it is you have."

"I have some figurines from Earth," Anna said.

Factory-made things on Earth weren't very highly sought after there… but maybe agrarian societies might find them interesting and well-made. On the other hand, Anna had seen figurines smaller than her little finger of amazing detail made a thousand years ago in a museum. The Pegasus galaxy probably had similar craftspeople.

"Here." Teyla put a necklace in her hand. "This is a Wraith-bone necklace. I'm sure it will fetch you a very high price."

"But, Teyla," Anna objected. She wasn't sure she wanted to hold it in her hands, much less trade it. They looked like finger bones, with holes drilled in them and strung along a leather strap.

"Nonsense. I have many." She smiled.

Anna held up the necklace. "Thank you," she said. She turned it around and considered her own jewelry. She bought several bracelets and necklaces at the mall in Colorado Springs before she learned of the Pegasus galaxy. She wasn't wearing very much jewelry these days, either…

"I have jewelry from home," she said. "Not made of Wraith bones, but I could trade them."

"Jewelry is usually scarce and trades very well since very few people make it. Our materials and time are usually spent crafting other things, more practical things."

That was the thing. Things on Atlantis were generally too practical for her to even wear jewelry. And if this was what passed for jewelry around here, she wasn't sure she even wanted to wear any. "Thank you again, Teyla. I'm going to finish packing."

"You're very welcome, Anna. Have a wonderful time."

* * *

 _Next time: So I guess this is a rare thing?_


	37. A Deal

_To PegasusPilot: Thanks much for reading and leaving a review! I'm pleased that you like Anna and my idea of Radek._

 _Last time: Radek's sick (since chapter 30), so Anna got to go offworld on a trading excursion with some Athosians._

* * *

 **Chapter 37. A Deal.**

Morning on Delbradia coincided with Atlantis's night. Anna had never considered it before, but the Delbradians seemed to have been having breakfast while she was having her dinner only a few hours ago. She looked around at the bright morning sun, the people bustling to and fro with their wares, shouting to one another and getting out of the way of the strangers dressed in heavy green and carrying weapons.

Iskaan, thankfully, kept close. He had a sack of furs and other things on his back. Anna had her own small box of jewelry. Mostly bracelets and necklaces, including Teyla's bone necklace. Anna kept three necklaces, just in case she had something fancy to do someday on Atlantis.

It was all so new, yet so familiar. It was like a historical enactment of the middle ages, except brighter than she imagined. The main road of this village was laid with yellow pavers, with brick buildings on either side. The market, however, was mostly open air. The shop keepers set up their things outside underneath tarps and awnings.

"These people are all from different planets?" Anna asked Iskaan, raising her voice to be heard over the din.

"Yes, a lot of them," he answered with a smile. "Isn't it something?"

Anna nodded in wonder. One man beckoned to her, gesturing at beautiful dresses he had hanging around him on ropes. A woman held a long necklace of opalescent beads out to show her. Most of the traders had fur, tools, food, and dozens of other things that Anna didn't recognize. An older boy went chasing two small children through the crowd, shouting at them to come back.

Iskaan laughed and put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Anna spun to see him motioning for her to follow him down a side street.

They reached the destination, apparently, since Rhetto and the other Athosians ducked through a doorway. Only Iskaan hung back with Anna and Major Rutherford's team.

"This is where we'll be staying," Major Rutherford said to her. He pointed up at a sign. There were strange runes carved into the wood, along with a picture of what looked like a pig sitting in front of a house. "The Porker and the Palace."

Major Rutherford's team laughed. Except Doctor Kavanagh. He wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"It's actually called the Dog's Den," Iskaan offered with a chuckle. "After you, Anna."

Anna held her breath and stepped inside. It was dark, lit by candles, and it smelled like alcohol and charred meat. She immediately understood that the Dog's Den was an inn/tavern, and it seemed to be in a nice location despite its name. Only a few people milled about the space inside, blinking bleary eyes as the door let in the early morning light. She imagined it would fill come evening.

Rhetto and the Athosians arranged for three rooms for them, with Anna sharing a room with Rhetto, another woman, and Iskaan. The remaining three Athosians would have a separate room, while Major Rutherford and his team would have the third. Iskaan said they would sleep in the afternoon, when many traders took a break from the heat of the day, and then continue trading in the evening.

Doctor Kavanagh went into the team's room and didn't come back out.

Anna knelt on the floor with her sleeping bag—it was more like a rug, but she didn't complain. She asked for this specifically, hadn't she? Besides, it was only for a few days. Their room had a window, putting a large square of yellow sunlight on the wood floor.

"Can I show you the market?" Iskaan said. He sat down next to her.

Anna nodded. "But, don't you have a booth or something?" She didn't know how it worked.

He shook his head. "Oh, no. We have a standing deal with a few traders, but we visit the other traders and see what they have and do our own bargaining." He pulled a set of three panpipes from his vest. "You brought things to trade?"

Anna got her small box of jewelry from her backpack and opened it for Iskaan.

He stared inside, and smiled at her. "You will have almost anything you want here with these."

Anna looked at it. It was just costume jewelry… "I don't know," she said. "It's not real."

"What do you mean?" Iskaan lifted a necklace with an imitation sapphire from the box and held it up in front of the window. A spot of blue light danced on the floor between them. "It isn't real?"

Anna never considered that a strange concept until now. On the other hand, she expected some people to wonder whether the bones in Teyla's necklace were actual Wraith bones or from something else. "Never mind…"

Iskaan put the necklace back. "Let's go." He glanced toward Rhetto. "We're going to the markets, Father."

Rhetto nodded him away.

Iskaan took Anna's hand in his and nearly dragged her into the hallway. He cantered down the stairs and out into the sunlight once more. Anna kept up as he weaved his way through the crowds, but kept hold of his hand anyway. There were many opportunities to get lost here…

Iskaan paused in front of the dress stall. "Stop me if you see anything you like," he said.

Anna shrugged and looked at the dress. It looked like some things Teyla wore when she was going to visit her people or going out to trade. Anna couldn't imagine her whole little box of necklaces would trade for even one. "What were you looking for?" she asked.

"A hunting knife," Iskaan answered with a grin. "I saw Karrin on my way in. She has the best knives and she was admiring my panpipes last time we came…" His voice trailed off as he pulled her back through the crowd.

He stopped again, this time in front of a little stall with shining knives arranged on the table. A young girl, maybe a little older than Anna, leaned on the table while she showed an old man a knife.

Anna squinted at the knives, and then at the girl. The knives were, for lack of a better word, beautiful. They were shining, with the hilts decorated and wrapped in fabric of all colors. The girl was… not.

She was by no means ugly. She was just dirty. Her face was smudged in black and her hair was pulled back and underneath a floppy cap. Her hands were rough and blackened with soot, but that made her knives look even brighter. She finished up her conversation with the man. He walked away without a knife.

She smiled at Iskaan. "He'll be back."

"I don't doubt it," Iskaan said. He approached the table, pulling Anna along behind him. "This is Karrin, Anna. Karrin, this is Anna. She is a traveler from a very far-away planet. I wanted to show her the knives of the best knife-smith to ever visit Delbradia."

Anna wished she had a more interesting cover-story, since Atlantis was supposed to be considered destroyed. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," Karrin answered. "Do you like knives?"

Anna shrugged. She didn't have an opinion on knives. But she probably shouldn't say that to the best knife-smith to ever visit Delbradia. "I know someone who likes knives very much." Maybe she should get Ronon one. He had at least twenty. Anna thought she saw one hidden in his hair once.

Karrin smiled at her polite answer. "You keep threatening to buy one," she said to Iskaan.

"I brought something to trade this time," he said. He pulled out his collection of panpipes. They ranged in size from as small as Iskaan's palm to as large as his head. They were each a different color and tied securely with twine. Anna imagined he made them himself. "I suspect I'll be able to trade one of these for something to your liking."

Karrin looked at the panpipes sideways. "Probably." She looked at her display. "What sort of knife catches the eye of a piper, I wonder?"

Iskaan grinned and picked out a small knife that looked more like a very sharp letter opener to Anna. The hilt was smooth and plain in comparison, the grip wrapped in soft-looking leather.

"Simple," she said with a nod of approval. "But functional."

"I'm a piper," Iskaan said. "But I'm also a hunter." He nudged Anna with his shoulder. "Which knife do you like?"

Anna was drawn to the more decorative knives. She wouldn't use a knife for anything but decoration, she guessed. Wait, just a moment… Her eye caught on a set of knives without hilts, in the shape of a triangle with a fatal point. She pointed.

"Do you have many throwing knives?" she asked.

Karrin gave her a look of surprise, eyebrows raised and an amused kink to her lips. "I have several." She proceeded to point out her throwing knives. Each set had three matching knives. Some of them were fancier than others, larger or smaller. "Do you throw knives?"

"Not yet," Anna said. "But I had someone offer to teach me how." She looked between the different sets. Besides the aesthetic differences, they all looked the same to her. "And I don't have any."

"Well, mine are balanced," Karrin said. "The heavier ones fly straighter but are harder to throw. The lighter ones are easy to throw, but hard to stick."

That seemed simple… Anna pointed at one group. "May I?" When Karrin nodded, she picked it up. Like Karrin's other knives, these were buffed and polished to a sparkling shine. It had no hilt. The blade was curved and it felt heavier than she was expecting.

"You like that one?" Karrin asked. She picked up one of the other knives from the same set and hurled it behind her toward the wall. Anna watched, shocked. But the knife stuck in the wooden window frame. "As you can see, it throws nicely. It's one of the heavier knives, though."

Anna nodded. She supposed she would learn eventually. She opened her box and showed the contents to Karrin. She wasn't sure if Karrin would be interested in jewelry, though…

"These are some nice pieces," she said. Then she paused and cleared away the pretty necklaces to see the one at the bottom: Teyla's bone necklace. "What is this?"

"That's a Wraith-bone necklace," Anna said. "I was told it would fetch a fine price." She glanced at Iskaan's wide eyes.

Anna didn't consider that most people around here didn't face a Wraith and live to talk about it. Given what she knew about Wraith, many of them might not even know what a Wraith looked like until they were about to be eaten. Only Wraith darts.

"Yes," Karrin said softly. "A fine price." Anna could tell by the way she looked at it that she wanted it pretty badly. It looked like just her kind of jewelry.

"Would that be nice enough to trade for this set and for the knife Iskaan wants?" Anna asked. She looked at the array of knives before her. She didn't know how to judge the value of one item against another so different. "And one other…" Anna added. Better get a knife for Ronon, too. She was here.

She wasn't sure how he'd react to a gift…

"Which one?" Karrin gestured over the table, indicating that she could pick anything she wanted.

Anna looked at Iskaan. "I'd like to get a gift for one of my friends back—back home," she said. "Which do you think?" She wanted to ask him which one he thought would be the best for disemboweling a Wraith, but that seemed inappropriate.

Iskaan picked out a wicked-looking knife with a wide, bent blade. It looked like half a boomerang and the rest of it was a knife. It looked like it could disembowel a Wraith. Anna nodded to Karrin that was the one she wanted.

Karrin nodded and handed her the three throwing knives and Iskaan's knife. She put her necklace around her neck. "Thank you for your business."

Anna smiled and looked at Iskaan. "I didn't know Wraith-bone necklaces were so expensive."

"I've only seen two," Iskaan said. "Teyla had one, but I haven't seen her wear it in a long time." He handed her the boomerang knife. "I'm sure your friend will like it."

* * *

 _A/N: Ehhh sorry. This is the only chapter where it's solely OCs for, um, a really long time. I'm not gonna promise that it'll_ never _happen again, but it's not gonna happen again for a long, long time. We'll put it that way._

* * *

 _Next time: Some days, you're just not where you wish you were._


	38. Wish We Were There

_Last time: Anna's having an adventure! And Radek isn't. It would be nice if Anna just came home (chapter 34)...  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 38. Wish We Were There.**

Early that afternoon, Delbradia-time, Anna and the traders came out of their rooms from sleeping. Doctor Kavanagh was already downstairs with Lieutenant Anders when Anna and Iskaan showed up.

Anna walked up next to Doctor Kavanagh. He made no indication he saw her there except for leaning away slightly. "Are you going to the ruins?" Anna asked.

He nodded. "Yup," he said grudgingly.

"We are, too," Anna said.

Iskaan didn't look very happy with this arrangement.

"Great," Doctor Kavanagh said sarcastically.

Anna would have liked to help discover some Ancient tech with Doctor Kavanagh… He was rude and condescending, but in a way different from Doctor McKay. Maybe it was just because he wasn't as smart as Doctor McKay. He thought he knew everything—and in many circles on Earth, he did—but not here.

Iskaan pulled Anna aside. "What are you doing?" he whispered. "Let's just go now, get a head start on him. Maybe we won't even have to see him while we're there."

Anna sighed. "I want to know if they're Ancient ruins." She couldn't help that. Iskaan was excited about panpipes and knives. Anna was excited about potentially technologically advanced ruins.

"You actually like Kavanagh?" Iskaan asked.

Anna shook her head and whispered, "It has nothing do with Kavanagh. I just want to be there if he discovers something interesting. Besides, I don't think he's so bad. He's very smart. Smart people are usually… annoying."

Iskaan arched an eyebrow playfully. "Not so bad, huh?"

He was kind enough to feign injury when Anna slugged his shoulder. She headed to the door, anyway. Kavanagh would catch up eventually. He had long legs. And maybe she could chase the color of discomfort and disgust from her face if she got out in the fresh air. Maybe this other galaxy wasn't so different, after all.

Iskaan caught up with her to lead her though the village. "Sorry if I embarrassed you."

"You didn't," Anna said quickly. Anything to not think about it anymore actually.

"You got some lovely gifts for your friends today," Iskaan offered, apparently solely for the purpose of a subject change.

"Thank you."

"No, I must thank you. I wish… you're sure you don't want a panpipe?" he asked with a small smile.

Anna shook her head. "One instrument is enough for me." Besides, it was only fair that Teyla's necklace get something for one of her people, too. Teyla had already been so generous with Anna… it didn't seem fair.

"Something else, then," Iskaan offered. "What would you like, Anna? I'll get it for you."

Anna almost laughed. Like Teyla, Iskaan had a strange way of speaking… and yet it seemed natural to them. It was sometimes even easier to understand than everyone else. She shook her head and shrugged. She wanted a day of nothing… a day to do nothing at all but whatever she wanted. And this had so far been that day.

Iskaan must have noticed her almost-laugh. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I mean, I don't want anything."

"That's not what I mean," Iskaan said. "I know when I'm being made fun of."

"I'm not making fun of you. I'm just thinking." She looked back at the street ahead. "Where are the ruins? Are they close?"

They were now at the edge of the village. A few farms surrounded the tightly-packed houses of the village, but beyond were open, green fields and hills. Beyond, a cliff of gray rocks sat above it all. A crumbling spire reached into the sky.

"That looks pretty far," Anna said.

"It's sort of far," Iskaan said. He looked back over his shoulder, nodded at Kavanagh.

Kavanagh stamped toward them alone, a backpack on his back, and a suitcase in each hand. He muttered angrily to himself as he approached.

Iskaan sighed and shrugged. "Should we help him?"

Anna really didn't want to. But as Kavanagh got closer, she started feeling pretty bad. She nodded at Iskaan, making sure the look on her face said that this was the last thing she wanted to do. She walked up to Kavanagh and held her hand out for a suitcase.

"Can I help?" she asked.

Iskaan joined her. "Me, too."

Kavanagh straightened, his lips tight. "Fine." He handed them each a suitcase and then looked toward the ruins. "You've been there before?" he asked Iskaan.

Iskaan nodded. "Dozens of times."

"Good. This should be quick, then."

"It's a fairly long walk," Iskaan warned.

Kavanagh sighed. "Then we'd better get going. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can get back."

#

Radek sat in a corner of the mess hall. It was too early for breakfast, but he had to get out of the room. It was better to be out of the room when there wasn't anyone around to catch his illness—though if he was to believe Doctor Beckett, he was no longer contagious.

Anna was still offworld, and he was amazed at how worried he was. It was ridiculous how worried he was. He contemplated his soup and wondered how to pass the day other than worrying or coughing up a lung.

"Doctor Zelenka," a familiar voice said nearby. "Glad to see you're feeling better."

He looked up toward the voice. One of the 'gate technicians with a tray of breakfast and a notebook under that. Radek had decided a long time ago, when Rodney couldn't get his name right to save his life, to learn everyone's name. At least the people he might someday speak to. This particular technician was around all the time. Radek had to know his name.

"Thank you," he said. Had to buy time. He knew his name. He really did. He even worked with him... a lot, actually. Maybe his illness was getting in the way of his memory. That seemed like a halfway-to-legitimate explanation.

Even if he did work with him sometimes, Radek barely used his name. No one else did, either. Not a lot of reason to.

So help him, if Radek turned into Rodney, always getting names wrong and not even remembering people existed, he was headed back to Earth as soon as the next check-in with the SGC. He'd take that as undeniable proof that this place was bad for him. A bad influence.

"I saw Anna a few days ago, hanging around the control room. She can really play the violin. At least, I think she can. Not that I would know a lot about it."

Radek nodded and looked down at his food. "I'm sorry I missed it."

Probably should have said _thank you_ or something. Was that an appropriate thing to say when someone complimented his daughter? It had been so long, and back then compliments were usually of the obligatory, "your daughter is talented in _x_ " variety. Not a whole lot to compliment the average seven-year-old for. He never thought she was average, but he knew other people did, because he hardly gave other people's children a second thought. Paid a few polite compliments, though.

Radek was thinking about it too much...

"Oh, well... here." He set down his tray of food and flipped open his notebook. "Parents take pictures at their kids' performances, right?" He ripped out a sheet of paper and handed it to Radek. "I guess I didn't have a camera handy."

He looked up at the technician and then at the sheet of paper. It was a pencil drawing of a girl playing a violin in front of the Stargate. Quite good, too. The 'gate was open, casting a long shadow of the violinist all the way back to the staircase leading to the control room. He wondered what she'd played… and why she'd been playing for the Stargate.

"The 'gate wasn't open, I just… um, artistic license?" He shrugged. "It turned out so good, I thought you'd like it."

Radek wished more than ever that he'd been there. "It is very good," he agreed. "It looks just like her, I think." He stared at the picture for a few moments, then handed it back. The technician backed away and held his hands up. He picked up his tray, instead.

"It's all yours, Doc," he said with a smile.

Radek nodded. "Thank you." What was his name? "Chuck," he finished. He looked back at the picture in his hands. He snapped it so it didn't flop over.

And, since he was thinking about it, it would be really odd if Chuck kept it...

Maybe he should get it framed.

* * *

 _A/N: Wondering why I'm posting on a Tuesday? Probably not. Well, here's the answer, anyway: it is February 7th.  
So, happy birthday, Radek! Or, rather, to David Nykl, since it is his birthday from which we get Radek's. An excellent excuse to post twice in a week, if you ask me._  
 _I'm trying to get my artistically-inclined brother to draw this for me so this story can have a proper cover, but he's waffling. Says it won't look good. The funny thing is that he thinks I care. Draw it like a 'gate technician would, I say! He wasn't even swayed by the fact that it's Radek's birthday. Rude._

* * *

 _Next time: It's not as exciting as it sounds._


	39. Dog's Den

_Last time: Radek is feeling better... for the moment. Anna is exploring some ruins on an offworld trip (since chapter 37)._

* * *

 **Chapter 39. Dog's Den.**

"What are those…?" Anna asked quietly. The light of her flashlight didn't make her feel any better in the dark ruins with what sounded like dogs killing each other outside.

"Just some wild animals," Kavanagh said.

He was pretty calm and collected for being a long, long walk away from town. But maybe he did things like this often. Maybe he was calm about it because it was unlikely that Wraith would cull the nearby town and go looking in the ruins for dessert.

Wild animals, though. Anna hadn't come across many of those. Of course, feral dogs, stray cats, the kind of thing that one might see in a city. She saw deer on the drive from Denver. But what were alien wild animals like?

She must have looked terrified, because Iskaan was laughing. "It's nothing, Anna. Do you want to see the stars? There is a high turret just down this hall and up some stairs."

Kavanagh squinted at them.

"Um…" Anna looked between Kavanagh and Iskaan. She wouldn't put it past Kavanagh to spin some crazy tale about her and Iskaan, from all the stories she'd heard about him. Or, rather, all the stories she hadn't heard about him. "I can scan the corridors on the way," she suggested.

"Uh-huh," Kavanagh agreed with a nod. He looked back at his own scanning equipment while he found another one in the bag slung over his shoulder. "You might want to take this heat sensor with you. There might be something behind the walls worth looking at."

Anna took the sensor and looked at it. She seriously doubted there was anything worth seeing with it. The look on his face said he doubted it, too. Like he'd just made some sort of joke. Maybe it was an American-thing. Or an English-thing. "Okay. We'll be right back," Anna said finally.

"You better."

Anna followed Iskaan through the halls to a landing beneath some stairs. They were solid and, frankly, didn't look anything like Atlantis or anything else Ancient that she'd ever seen. On the other hand, she hadn't seen much. This was, for all intents and purposes, her first time offworld.

"Up here." Iskaan paused at the foot of a ladder—a stone ladder where the grips were more like holes in the wall. He scampered up the ladder like a squirrel and waited for her at the top, his hand reaching down to help her up. "Coming?"

Anna slowly climbed the ladder. She didn't have nearly as much practice as she imagined Iskaan did.

The view from the top was well worth it, though. It seemed like they could see everything from up here. The bright sky above was so very different from Atlantis, the stars punching past the atmosphere like fireflies. Atlantis was usually too bright to see the millions of stars in the sky very clearly. They could even see the village's torches across the field.

She might have felt very safe, Iskaan standing so close to her. He wasn't looking at the stars. Then the wild dogs howled and yipped some more.

Anna picked up the heat sensor and pointed it out to the field. She frowned at the incredible number of moving red dots. She showed it to Iskaan. "Are there usually that many?" she asked.

Iskaan sighed and looked at her sensor and then squinted out at the field. "I'm not usually out here at night. I've only been here at night once before."

Anna took a deep breath and nodded. That was alright… Except that the little red dots seemed to be circling their fortress. Didn't hunting animals do that when they were about to go in for the kill? Didn't scavenging birds do that when they found a meal?

"I think we should go back," she said quietly.

"I think you're right."

Iskaan lowered himself into the hole in the floor and waited for Anna to come down after him. They made it to the floor without any incident, but Anna had the feeling that an incident was about to occur.

"Doctor Kavanagh!" Anna shouted as they ran back through the halls toward him.

"Did you find something?" he called back. He glanced up when they ran into the room, panting. "Okay, it can't have been _that_ interesting—"

"I think we're being hunted," Iskaan said.

"Hunted?" Kavanagh repeated. He looked between the two of them. "You're kidding. By the animals outside? How can you tell?"

Anna handed him the heat sensor. "They're circling the tower."

Kavanagh looked at Iskaan pointedly. "What is it your people do again?"

"Funny," Iskaan said as he drew his knife. "But I've seen wild dogs like these before. We might not have time to joke. They're pretty intelligent creatures and—"

"Then we leave," Kavanagh said, throwing his equipment into a bag. "Right now."

Iskaan shook his head. "Too late for that. They can see far better than we can in the dark. We'll have to wait for tomorrow morning."

Kavanagh sighed and looked around. Anna guessed Kavanagh saw the same thing she did. This room was hardly a defensible position. There were three entrances, and three of them. Doctor Kavanagh had his sidearm and Iskaan was carrying a few knives from what Anna saw. Anna… she could defend herself against sticks sometimes. She could shoot a stationary target in broad daylight.

On the other hand, she figured it was in her blood to run and hide. "Why don't we go back up to the turret and wait them out?"

"We can radio Rutherford," Kavanagh agreed.

"After you," Iskaan said, motioning for Anna to lead the way.

Anna retraced her steps back through the ruins until she reached the tower ladder. Kavanagh paused beneath the opening, then looked at Anna and Iskaan. "It looks a little tight up there."

Iskaan tapped the wall, indicating for Kavangh to get moving. "I'm not looking forward to this either."

Kavanagh started climbing. He was more limber than Anna expected and made it to the top in about half the time it took Anna. But, then again, he was significantly taller than she was. She was even more surprised when he helped her up the rest of the way. Iskaan was quick to follow them.

Kavanagh took out the heat sensor and aimed it out at the fields. "Damn, there's a lot of them." It looked to Anna like a few of them had gone into the ruins.

"They might have made this their den," Iskaan sighed. "And we walked right into it."

Anna took out the metal wand that was supposed to detect power conduits in the walls and handed it to Kavanagh.

"Any luck?" he asked.

At a time like this, he was interested in defunct power conduits? "I was a little busy…"

He tucked the wand back into his bag and pulled out a radio. He pressed the side button. "Rutherford, this is Kavanagh," he said.

They waited a few moments, then heard Rutherford's voice. "Hey, what?" he asked, the backdrop to his voice a chorus of laughter and music. He was probably in the tavern at the Dog's Den.

The inn. Not the actual dog's den they were in at the moment.

"We've got a bit of a problem," Kavanagh said, looking over the edge of the turret. "About fifty wild dogs would like to make us into a nice dinner. Could you come get us out of this?"

"How many?" Rutherford sounded aghast.

"They're dogs," Kavanagh snapped. "They probably have—" Kavanagh paused to glance at Iskaan. "Does this galaxy have the equivalent of rabies?" Iskaan looked baffled, so Kavanagh continued, "It doesn't matter. They probably have all kinds of diseases, as if being bitten wouldn't present enough of a problem."

"Are you guys alright?" he asked. "Can they, you know, get at you?"

"We're at the top of a tower. Unless they can climb ladders, we should be fine. But I'd rather not spend the night up here, you know?" Kavanagh glanced between Anna and Iskaan. Iskaan was too busy looking out over the turret toward the town.

"There are four of us," Rutherford said. "It's unfamiliar terrain. You aren't in any immediate danger." He paused and they didn't hear anything from him for a few seconds.

The few seconds gave Anna time to reconcile that she might be spending a few hours on top of this turret with Kavanagh and Iskaan.

"You're gonna have to sit tight."

"How long?" Kavanagh asked.

Rutherford apparently declined to answer. "Give Anna and Iskaan my regrets. We'll figure something out."

Kavanagh sighed and slammed his radio back into his bag. "I guess that's that," he said. "I knew that coming alone was a bad idea…"

"Then there would just be seven of us up here," Iskaan said. "Trust me, these animals aren't the kind you want to mess with."

Kavanagh didn't answer. He dug around in his bag for another device that Anna didn't recognize. It was sort of like a gray box with circuits etched into it. Anna watched him fiddle with it for a few minutes.

"What is that?" she asked.

Kavanagh didn't answer, still picking at the outside with his penlight in his mouth to see what he was doing.

Anna sighed and leaned back on the wall of the turret. This was going to be a long night.

#

"I take it you're feeling better," Collins said.

"Yes, thank you." Radek paused to look around the lab for the conspicuously missing presence. Mostly conspicuous because it wasn't berating him. He glanced at Collins. "Where is Rodney?"

"Ah, Doctor McKay is on a series of missions today and tomorrow, looking at planets that have space 'gates." Collins crossed the lab to one of the refrigerator units that was supposed to keep mostly temperature-controlled Ancient devices. Instead, Collins pulled out two bottles of beer—or at least as close to the Pegasus galaxy equivalent, and handed one to Radek. "One of them is supposed to have a nice civilization on it… according to the ten-thousand-year-old database."

"Oh, that sounds promising," Radek said sarcastically as he broke the cap off the beer. He held it up to toast Collins's generosity. "Thank you."

Collins didn't even look up from his work as he returned the cheer. "Na zdraví." *

Radek grinned, echoing the salute, and set up his laptop next to Rodney's main computer. "When we go back to Earth, you will come to the Czech Republic with me. If you have not had Czech beer, you have never had beer at all."

Collins tipped his bottle for a drink. For a moment, Radek wasn't sure if he was off-duty, but perhaps mice played when the cat was on another planet. "Looking forward to it. Always wanted to go to Prague."

It struck him as rather odd that someone might have always wanted to go there. It was old and beautiful—in its own way. Probably exotic to his American friends. Their country's history was short and modern. Prague had been around for a thousand years. And they did have beer. Radek doubted even Prague's grand cathedrals drew as many tourists as their alcohol did.

He turned his attention to his computer, thinking he'd had an epiphany last night. With the drugs and the illness, but it turned out it was nothing of consequence. But, maybe, if he looked at the control crystals again, he might see something similar to whatever he thought he saw. But Atlantis had a way of stealing away time before he could use it constructively. He only barely remembered what he was working on before the whole McKay/Cadman fiasco.

Right. Trying to figure out how to use power from the ZPM more efficiently. Shaving power consumption by even a hundredth of a percent could be significant.

"Where's Anna?" Collins asked. "I haven't seen her all day."

"Ah…" Radek was trying hard not to think about it. "She's offworld."

Collins sounded like he choked. Then he chuckled. "I'm sorry—did you say she's offworld?"

"Yes." He glanced at his colleague. "What's so funny?"

Collins shook his head. "Nothing. I didn't know you had it in you."

"I had what in me?"

"Well…" Collins appeared to be rethinking his whole angle. Or maybe he just wanted to take a drink. He waited a few seconds, but Radek wasn't going to let this one slide. "Setting up a distillery in the bottom levels of the west pier is one thing. Letting your daughter go offworld—with Rutherford and _Kavanagh_ , no less—is another. Isn't it?"

Radek frowned. "Kavanagh?" He really had been out of it the past few days, hadn't he? Never mind the jab at his one-time, one-man black market. So he knew a thing or two about alcohol. It turned out to be an unneeded service, anyway. The Pegasus had more than its fair share and was very much willing to trade with them.

His endless supply was mostly convenient to just him. Not many people were lining up to buy him drinks, that is. That was probably Rodney's department and Radek had never seen him drink. Not really. The universe was unfair like that.

Kavanagh, though…

That was actually good news. "He wouldn't go anywhere dangerous."

"No, but he'd sure as hell leave someone behind if it were." Collins suddenly looked up at the ceiling. "Oh, god. Uh, I didn't mean it that way. I mean, it's a very safe planet. Only a handful of thieves from what I understand."

"Thank you. I feel better about this already." Radek mustered up the best glare he could manage post his sudden and mostly inexplicable worry.

"Forget I said anything."

Radek didn't get a chance to forget anything before Elizabeth's voice piped over the comm channel. "Weir to Science Lab One. Is Doctor Zelenka there?" She sounded concerned.

Radek sighed and tapped the nearby control. "Yes, Doctor Weir. How may I help you?"

"I thought you might want to know," she said. "Anna is in a bit of a bind."

He felt his heart pound so loud in his ears, he was sure Collins could hear it. "Is she alright?" He didn't wait for Elizabeth to answer. He picked up his earpiece—left aside on account of his pounding head. Last time he'd ever do that.

As he was leaving Science Lab One for the control room, he heard Collins shouting from the lab. "Forget I said anything!"

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Na zdraví = Cheers. I think it means something like "to your health."

* * *

 _A/N: Anyone else think Kavanagh gets unfair judgment? I don't see him necessarily as being an insufferable coward or even (comparatively) rude. He would just like to live. Thirty-eight minutes was all it took for everyone to decide he was a horrible human being. Admittedly, he didn't seem to be all that torn up that they might lose Sheppard and company… It's not his fault that Sheppard, Ford, Teyla, and Rodney were the main characters, okay?_

* * *

 _Next time: You'd better figure out what it is before it blows up in your face._


	40. What It Isn't

_Last time: Anna's on a field trip (since chapter 37), but she's stuck in some ruins with Kavanagh (and some snarling dogs), Radek's worried. So that's normal, since he's pretty much over his illness (from chapter 30)._

* * *

 **Chapter 40. What It Isn't.**

Anna felt like she'd been watching Kavanagh pick at the alien puzzle box for years, now. It had actually been about forty-five minutes. Anna almost tried to start a game until she realized it was highly likely that only Kavanagh would be able to play Prime/Not-Prime, and Iskaan would have no idea what any of it meant. Kavanagh was busy. And he didn't seem like the game-playing-type anyway.

Iskaan seemed pretty content looking over the turret at the pacing pack below, anyway. Several of the dogs had gone into the ruins. Anna thought that if she listened hard enough she could hear their claws click on the hard floor beneath. They howled every now and again.

"That doesn't look Ancient," Anna finally commented.

Kavanagh glanced up for a moment. "Oh yeah? What was your first clue?" He held the thing up under the light of his flashlight.

It didn't actually look Ancient at all, not from any of Anna's experience, anyway. It was wholly square and pretty plain. Ancient things were usually geometric, but they typically had some sort of marking on them. Besides, the ruins were almost obviously not Ancient. But apparently they'd been wrong about things like this before, so maybe they thought it was worth sending Kavanagh out to look.

Or maybe anything was worth getting Kavanagh out of the lab for the day?

Anna just sighed at Kavanagh's sarcasm. "Why are you looking at it, then?"

"Because it _is_ Ancient. But from what I can tell, these ruins were picked over a thousand times and the only reason this was passed over is because it doesn't look like anything." He handed her one of his instruments and then his tablet. "Take a look."

Anna looked at the readings on the tablet. The thing was emitting a faint energy signature, but it really didn't look like much.

"What are you looking for?" Anna asked.

"Anything," Kavanagh sighed. He peered down through the hole. "You're right about the rest of the ruins, though. These aren't Ancient. I haven't a clue what they are." He held the box up again and turned it around. "I don't see any sort of access point."

Anna didn't see one, either, but she hadn't been fiddling with it for the past near-hour, either. "This energy signal is very faint," she said finally. "Could it just be a box holding something?"

Kavangh nearly scoffed, but ended up coughing instead. "What a novel thought."

"It was just an idea. If it's not a machine itself, it might hold something…" Anna squinted at it. She held her hand out. "Can I see it?"

Kavanagh gave it to her without a word and tried to raise Rutherford on the radio. "You're telling me there's no chance of getting out of here tonight?" he asked after Rutherford answered.

"Calm down, Kavanagh," Rutherford answered through the buzz of static. "I asked for a Jumper, but it's the middle of the night and the locals can tell some pretty convincing stories about these dogs of yours."

Kavanagh sighed and rolled his eyes, but he didn't hold down the talk button. "Someone just shoot me," he mumbled. Probably didn't let Rutherford hear that because he'd probably offer to do that the very next time he saw Kavanagh.

"It's not that bad," Iskaan said. He pulled a panpipe from his vest and started playing. That didn't seem to do anything to help Kavanagh's nerves.

"Yes. Yes, it is, and it just got worse." Kavanagh gave Iskaan a dry glare.

Anna was only mildly paying attention, fussing with Kavanagh's box. She pulled, pried, and twisted it every which way she could think of and looked for any writing in Ancient in hopes that Kavanagh could translate it. The odds that he'd missed it were pretty low, but sometimes looking at something too long and hard made the most obvious things invisible.

Suddenly, it popped.

"What did you do?" Kavanagh asked.

"Nothing." Anna shrugged and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I was just pulling on it." She handed it back.

"The old brute force method." Kavanagh sighed. He pulled the top of the box off to reveal a small device with the access point that Kavanagh had been looking for in its housing. Otherwise, it looked inert. He glanced at her. "I guess you're not quite as helpless as you look."

Anna didn't know whether to thank him or punch him. It might save time and effort to just let Rutherford shoot him.

#

"She's alright?" Radek followed Elizabeth into her office. He felt like he'd asked this a hundred times, but the answer he kept getting didn't put him any more at ease. "Can't we go get them now?"

He realized too late where he was—what he was doing. He backed up a few paces, putting his back on the door.

"I told you, you didn't have to come," Elizabeth assured him. Despite her amused look, he didn't feel much better about it. "She is just fine. Rutherford and his team are ready to move out at first light. It seems a local pack of dogs made a home of the ruins Kavanagh was investigating. They didn't take too kindly to that."

"Where are they exactly?"

"At the top of a tower. They're apparently very safe." Radek didn't answer for a moment. Elizabeth sighed and motioned at one of the chairs. "Come in, Doctor Zelenka. Sit down."

Radek did as he was bidden, mulling over Elizabeth's last words. He sank into the chair in front of Elizabeth's desk. "Who is 'they'?" Radek asked.

"Kavanagh, Anna, and Iskaan," Elizabeth answered. Radek must have paled at that, because Elizabeth smiled warmly. "Iskaan has dealt with this kind of thing before. Teyla tells me he's a very accomplished hunter. He'll keep Anna safe."

That didn't change the fact that Radek should never have let her go offworld in the first place. He sniffed, remembering that he promised himself that he'd only be out for a few hours today. He wasn't entirely recovered. Doctor Beckett might be miffed if he managed to get himself sick with something else.

Radek sighed and nodded. "I know that. I know she's safe."

Elizabeth looked at him for a long moment. Her hazel eyes were bright, seemed all-seeing. He blinked and looked at the floor, just to get his eyes somewhere else.

"Every parent goes through this, Radek," she said, as though she had personal experience. As far as he knew, she didn't. But her voice carried the weight of a sage. "Teenagers like to test the limits. Their limits. She'll find many, many more ways to worry you before she's eighteen."

Radek only barely remembered what it was like to be a teenager. But he'd lived in a different world, literally and figuratively. Czechoslovakia was a far cry from Atlantis. Of course, young Radek's notion of testing limits had been mostly scientific. Alright, there may have been plenty of alcohol and a reasonable handful of young ladies involved, too.

Young Radek sometimes seemed an eternity away.

"How about you just get your mind off things?" Elizabeth suggested.

"Lunch?"

The word had flown, unbidden, from his mouth. Not what he'd meant to say. And she'd obviously taken it precisely as he hadn't meant it. Or had he meant to ask her a long time ago?

"No, no, no, no, that's not—forget I said anything," he said when he saw the look on her face.

A pathetic mixture of surprise, confusion, and pity.

"No, it's my fault," Elizabeth interrupted. "I may have given you the wrong idea about—"

"Do not apologize, please." He rose from the chair, feeling his face flush with color.

"I'm just concerned about Anna. That's all," she said.

Elizabeth looking for company more engaging than the empty balcony for a midnight meal was a far cry from a lunch in public with… well, anyone. Least of all, him. After all, Radek was well aware that on a scale of one to, say, Colonel Sheppard, he certainly dominated the low numbers. He was small and awkward, and any distinguishing features weren't particularly flattering. Better not sell himself short, though. He was intelligent, could be witty (in Czech, though English was coming along), and had some sort of innocent charm despite an admitted lack of innocence. Or charm.

Yeah, he wasn't sure how that worked at all, but he'd take it. Maybe it was the pigeons...

The fact remained that Radek had never seen Elizabeth share a meal with anyone before, come to think of it. Not really. Not outside of clearly business.

"Me, too." If only that were true, if only…

 _Idiot. She probably thinks you're an idiot._

He backed up to the door, pausing only long enough to watch her, half a moment. Apologetic. "Think nothing of it. Tell me when Anna returns, please."

 _And she's right_.

He let the door fall closed behind him. He didn't stop it when he heard her say his name softly. He'd really managed to mess things up this time, hadn't he? He'd admired her for as long as he'd known her. Her beauty was one thing. Her intellect was quite another—unlike anyone he'd ever met before. But Elizabeth was famously separate from everyone else in the expedition, what Radek might have termed an "extremely professional distance."

She wasn't interested in friends. She was most certainly not interested in anything else.

Naturally, Radek's response would be to embarrass himself beyond words. It would be preferable if he never saw her again.

No. No, that was the last thing he wanted.

* * *

 _Next time: Okay. Enough adventure for one day._


	41. Not Going

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: After being told repeatedly that Anna was okay, Radek decided the best course of action would be to be to stick his foot in his mouth. Meanwhile… Anna has to deal with Kavanagh and Iskaan and dogs (since chapter 39) offworld (since chapter 37)._

* * *

 **Chapter 41. Not Going.**

"Anna. Anna…" Iskaan's sing-song voice pulled her from her dreams.

She opened her eyes to the pale blue of a pre-dawn sky. "Kolik je—" * Her throat was scratchy from the night air, her mind disoriented from her unusual location. It took her a moment to realize it was not Radek scolding her for sleeping in. "What time is it?" It smelled like grass and dew, not the sea-salt air. She looked toward Iskaan's voice.

"It's nearly dawn," he whispered, beckoning her to come closer. "Come, look."

Anna slowly sat up. Kavanagh was curled up in the corner, asleep. She crawled across the turret and sat next to Iskaan just as the sun was rising over the town. Bright yellow rays caught the early morning mist, and the world was silently asleep.

Anna peered down to the grass below them. "Do you know where the animals are?"

Iskaan shrugged. "Asleep inside, I imagine."

Anna glanced toward the hole leading into the ruins. They were probably going to be pretty upset when Major Rutherford and his team came to get them if that was true. "I wonder when Major Rutherford will be here."

Iskaan chuckled. "Had enough of offworld already?"

"No." Anna was quick to snap, but she suspected that Iskaan had already decided. Anna was too much of a homebody for this offworld stuff. "It's a little cramped up here, isn't it?"

"I guess." Iskaan looked around like he hadn't noticed it.

He grimaced when Kavanagh began to stir, and Anna got the feeling he remembered just how cramped it was.

Anna grinned. "Good morning." If for no other reason, Kavanagh would annoy Rutherford into launching their rescue mission. If anyone could do that, Kavanagh could.

"Oh. Right." Kavanagh grunted as he sat up and looked around. His hair was an absolute mess, as Anna assumed hers was, too. "That's what this is. A good morning." Kavanagh leaned his head into his radio. "Rutherford, this is Kavanagh. Where the hell are you?"

There was a moment of silence.

When Rutherford's voice came through loud and clear, there wasn't any doubt in Anna's mind that he'd been up for quite a long time, now. "The sun isn't even up yet, Kavanagh."

"Are you sure?" Kavanagh said. "Because I'm looking at it right now."

"I learned that in kindergarten. Don't look at the sun. Makes you go blind." Rutherford paused. "That explains it."

Kavanagh smirked as if Rutherford could see him, but didn't say anything else. Maybe he noticed Iskaan was motioning to over the tower's wall.

Down below and far away on the path from the village, three black figures trudged toward them. Iskaan stood and waved at them.

"Ah, is that you, Kavanagh?" Rutherford said as one of the black figured waved back. "We missed you, too."

Anna couldn't figure out if Kavanagh's smile was sincere or sarcastic, but she figured it didn't matter very much. Rutherford would probably assume the worst if he were here. But he wasn't, so it didn't much matter.

Anna sat back on the floor with her back to the wall and waited for any sounds of excitement. She heard rustling in the fortress beneath them, followed by the unquestionable echo of gunfire. The dogs yipped and howled in fright with automatic weapons' fire a backdrop. Anna told herself that Rutherford and his team were just trying to scare the animals…

"That was an adventure?" Iskaan said.

Kavanagh gathered his bags in anticipation of their rescue. "Adventure, yeah."

"This hasn't put you off going to other worlds, has it?" Iskaan looked to Anna.

Anna shook her head, hoping whatever than box was would be worth the night in the tower.

#

" _I hope that's satisfied your desire to go to other planets,"_ Radek said as he opened the door to their quarters.

Anna followed him inside. " _I don't understand why you're acting like this. We were completely safe the whole time_." It was good to be back in Atlantis, anyway. But she figured that if it was up to Radek, she wouldn't see anything more interesting than the endless ocean for the next ten years. So much for seeing the glowing rainbow pools.

At least Radek hadn't discovered the throwing knives… Wouldn't that be difficult to explain? On more than one count...

" _You haven't been in the Pegasus galaxy long enough to think being trapped in the tower of ancient ruins and surrounded by a pack of wolves is 'completely safe._ ' _"_ Radek turned to her. His eyes were still red and he sniffed every now and again, but otherwise he seemed mostly recovered from his illness. Besides the fact that she hadn't been "completely safe."

" _Iskaan and Kavanagh were with me and the only thing they were concerned about was having to sleep on the stone floor_ ," Anna pointed out.

" _That isn't the point_." Radek rubbed his eyes as though trying to ward off a headache. " _It was a mistake to let you go in the first place_."

" _What?"_ She hadn't meant to squeal like that—absolutely juvenile. That was the last impression she wanted to give. " _What do you mean? Ask Rutherford! We were completely fine!"_

" _I talked to Rutherford and he said those were the biggest dogs he'd ever seen in his life_."

Anna hadn't actually seen the dogs, since they were all run off by the time she'd descended the stone ladder. In fact, from Anna's perspective, the trip had been mostly uneventful. " _But Iskaan and his father are going to Arkos and he told me—_ "

" _No_ ," Radek interrupted.

" _No?"_ She watched him idly go about cleaning a couple of mugs. " _Iskaan says it's safe! Everyone says it's safe. Why can't I go? Please, let me go."_

" _I just want you to be safe_ ," Radek said. " _I'd rather you… If you go offworld again, you're not leaving your escorts, for one thing."_

" _I am perfectly safe, especially with Iskaan. He wouldn't let anything happen to me, I promise_." It seemed like a big promise to make for someone else, but she knew he would approve if he were here.

It didn't matter, because Radek didn't approve. " _Iskaan is just a child_."

" _No, he isn't,"_ Anna snapped. " _He's almost seventeen and he's almost ready to take on his own trading missions. By himself. Without his dad or anyone else_." Except for an SG team, but that was more the requirement of the people from Earth. The people from another galaxy who didn't understand how this one worked. " _Iskaan is basically an adult_ ," she finished. " _And they treat him like one._ " Anna would have liked a similar courtesy.

Anna felt like she understood, at least a little. Living on Atlantis was already starting to feel less like a very weird vacation and more like… like home. The Pegasus galaxy was just like any other place. Stick together, and don't be dumb. It was perfectly simple to keep safe.

" _He might be_ ," Radek said. He turned toward Anna and said with finality, " _But you aren't_."

" _You're being strangely protective for having ignored my existence for eight years_."

She regretted that as soon as she said it. She tried to figure out if Radek had something to say to that or not—and couldn't figure it out. Maybe he did. He just looked like he'd been hit in the nose. Or maybe like he was confused. Blinked once or twice.

" _Maybe I'm trying to make up for it_." He went back to his mugs. " _You aren't going_."

" _But it's not fair!"_

She spoke too quickly. She didn't know what she meant by that. Didn't know what was particularly unfair about it.

Radek glanced at her to ask, " _What do you mean? What's unfair?"_

" _I already told Iskaan I would go_." It was a lame answer, as evidenced by his immediate interest in washing the mugs again. But it was all she had. It was all she wanted—why did he have to lay down the law about this right now? " _I have to go. I'm going to go_."

Did he just laugh at her? It was a short sniff, but she could have sworn he wanted to laugh.

Outraged tears brimmed in her eyes.

" _No, you're not going. There will be other offworld trips. Later_."

Anna took in a quick breath. She knew that if she left the room, Radek would just tell Elizabeth she wasn't allowed to go anywhere and that would almost be worse. She stood there stupidly for—she didn't know how long. She was too angry for words, too angry for these tears threatening to spill over.

She hurried to her room before she did something even more stupid and tried to speak.

She knew one thing, though. She didn't regret that bit about his not being around for eight years. Didn't regret it one bit.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* "Kolik je hodin?" basically means "What time is it?" (It might be something along the lines of "How many hours is it?" or something like that. I have no idea. It's obviously not direct. I'm spending too much time on this…)

* * *

 _Next time: If only I weren't so much like you…_


	42. Genes

_Last time: Radek might have freaked out a bit and snatched back whatever freedom he'd given Anna. Anna's pretty upset. Harsh words may have been said.  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 42. Genes.**

Anna slipped out early the next morning before Radek was out of his room. He might have been going to work again today. Judging by how he felt yesterday, though, he would be back at work again soon, regardless. The sooner the better.

In the meantime, Anna knew she could hide out in the infirmary without much chance of running into Radek. He hated the infirmary.

"Good morning, dear," Doctor Beckett said with a warm smile.

It was impossible to be in a bad mood around him, wasn't it? Anna smiled back, despite her originally toxic outlook. "Dobrý, Doctor Beckett. Jak se máš?" *

"Mám se dobře, děkuju." ** Doctor Beckett turned away from his work, chuckled. "And how are you this fine morning?"

She slid her tablet onto the table next to him and contemplated giving him a truthful answer, rather than the practical, usual American answer. Most people didn't actually want to know how she was when they asked the question.

Then again, this was Doctor Beckett. He always seemed to care.

He was way ahead of her, though. "Less than cheerful, I see."

"Am I so obvious?" Anna asked. His only answer was a small smile. "I wanted to go to Arkos, but Radek won't let me. So I'm here." Not that doing biology with Doctor Beckett was the worst thing in the world.

"I heard there was some excitement during the trip to Delbradia."

Anna sincerely doubted that, unless it was a particularly slow news day around the coffee machine. "I don't think a pack of dogs passes for 'excitement' offworld."

"Better not get too exciting, though," Doctor Beckett pointed out. "I'd rather fifty rabid dogs than a single Wraith." Picking up her tablet, he scrolled through a textbook he'd loaded on there about human anatomy and physiology, even though she'd begged him to include a Wraith diagram, too. "Let's see. Where were we, now?"

Anna didn't help. She wanted to put off their study of heredity for as long as possible, even if it was just a few minutes. On the other hand, there was something regarding genetics that Anna was very interested in knowing…

"Doctor Beckett?"

"Yes, Anna?" He was obviously distracted as he scrolled along through the book.

"You have the ATA gene, don't you?"

He looked up in surprise, setting the tablet aside. "I do."

"Naturally."

"I was born with it, aye." Some of the members of the Atlantis expedition had the gene from birth, like Colonel Sheppard. According to reports that she read, Doctor Beckett discovered the gene and thereafter developed gene therapy to give it to others, like Doctor McKay.

"But Doctor McKay wasn't."

"No, Rodney has the gene as a consequence of gene therapy," Doctor Beckett said. "Why the sudden interest?"

She thought it was probably obvious, but Doctor Beckett liked to hear people say what they meant. He was usually patient enough to get what he wanted. Her thoughts on the matter, though, she couldn't quite say. Not without expecting a well-deserved lecture anyway. But she couldn't get lectured for thoughts she didn't articulate.

"Well, on that note, let's get to talking about genes. Where were we? Dominant and recessive?"

Anna tried not to groan as she nodded. She was very familiar with this, thank you very much. "Yes. We were."

"Don't sound so excited," Doctor Beckett said sarcastically. "Much of who we are can be found in our DNA. For example…" He looked at her critically, zeroing in on her eyes.

Lots of people did that, actually, whether they were contemplating heredity or not. She got many compliments on them, usually by well-meaning adults trying to break the ice before a violin lesson or doctor's appointment. Even with all the attention they got, her eyes were one of her favorite things about herself.

"Your beautiful blue eyes," Doctor Beckett said. "Dominant or recessive?"

"Recessive," Anna answered.

"Correct. Mum or dad have blue eyes?"

"Radek. My mom used to say I have his eyes." Probably just in case Anna ever doubted this stranger in pictures was her father. She only needed to study the eyes to find their hue nearly identical, colored like the winter sky. Her mother had pale green eyes with a golden ring around the pupil that Anna thought were beautiful and she wished many times she'd gotten her eyes instead. Radek's seemed so commonplace. Or maybe that was just because she saw them in the mirror every day.

"There, you see?" Doctor Beckett said. "Our genes tie us to our families."

"Do you think I could ever get the gene therapy?" Anna interrupted whatever he was about to say. Probably rude. But it fit in with the conversation. Didn't it?

Doctor Beckett sighed, slapping the tablet back into her hands as he walked away toward a computer console nearby. "I don't know. It's quite expensive, and it's only effective in approximately forty-eight percent of those who receive the therapy."

"I know," Anna said, following to stand beside him as he pulled a few things around on the monitor with his stylus. "Radek's didn't take."

"No, it didn't, and he works fine with Ancient technology, doesn't he?"

Doctor Beckett might think that, as a natural carrier. It must have been nice to just think at the city and it would do something. That had to be what Radek thought, anyway.

She wondered if he was jealous. Anna was a little jealous. She'd never been jealous of anyone for their genes before, since she had to admit she had pretty good ones.

Doctor Beckett was right, though. There was little point in giving Anna the gene when she couldn't even handle the Human aspect of their technology. Like Doctor Beckett said, Radek got along just fine without it.

"Maybe someday, though," Doctor Beckett said. He offered an encouraging smile. "I said once that you'd be more qualified than all of us by the time you're done. Imagine all the things you'll learn if the Ancient gene takes."

"Why didn't it work for Radek?" Anna asked.

Radek was probably jealous of Doctor McKay… but that was probably in part because he was Doctor McKay. The universe did him several good turns and he capitalized on them. He reveled in them. Rumor had it that he was still shaky about flying puddle jumpers, though.

"I don't know," Doctor Beckett said with a sigh. "It would be nice if the therapy worked on a much higher percentage of those who received it. Ideally, everyone on Atlantis would have the gene."

"Doc."

Doctor Beckett looked up when Collins stood in the doorway. "Ah, hello, Doctor Collins. How are you?"

Collins shrugged and came into the room. "McKay is getting all of us with any degree of Ancient aptitude together to work on Project Arcturus."

"Oh, that bloody thing," Doctor Beckett sighed and rolled his eyes. "Rodney was making quite a fuss about it last night."

"Tell me." Collins glanced at Anna for a moment. "Your dad is feeling better, right?"

Anna nodded. "I think so." Downright good spirits while he lectured her on the need for safety in the Pegasus galaxy.

"Well, he's coming with us, then."

Offworld. Better give him a cloak of bubble wrap before he goes. Might go a long way in keeping him uninjured. "Is it safe?" Anna asked.

A familiar smirk colored Collins' eyes. "We think so, apart from all the skeletons on the planet."

"Skeletons," Doctor Beckett breathed. "Good lord."

Anna couldn't help smile, even past the macabre thought. She would have liked to see Radek around some skeletons.

"They'll be removing the skeletons here with the hope that you can determine cause of death." Collins apparently found that fairly funny, too. Maybe it was just Doctor Beckett's reaction.

"Lovely." Sarcasm fairly dripped from Doctor Beckett's tone.

"Do you think I'll be able to come see the planet sometime?" Anna asked hopefully.

"First, dogs. Next, skeletons." Collins nearly laughed. "I don't know if Zelenka is keen on letting you offworld again so soon. I'm not sure if you've ever seen him panic, but—"

"Isn't that all he does?" It seemed like even when he didn't look like he was panicking, he was.

"Then you've never seen him panic." Collins looked at her critically, seeming to have lost all his good humor. He sighed and shook his head. "I'll be pulling for you, Anna. It'd be a good experience to check it out."

Anna smiled apologetically. "I hope I get to."

"Don't be in too much of a hurry. This is going to take weeks." Collins finally looked at Doctor Beckett. "I'm here to be cleared for offworld travel."

"Oh, really?" Doctor Beckett gave him a tight grin as he rose. "First time, then?"

"I am, perhaps, the last remaining virgin of 'gate travel. Except, of course, the trip here," Collins answered. He followed Doctor Beckett to one of the gurneys and sat down while Doctor Beckett gathered his things.

"Oh, Anna," Doctor Beckett said. He beckoned her to join him next to Collins. "Do you want to see the ATA gene as a result of gene therapy?"

Anna hurried over. She tried not to give away how interested she was. Biology was among the worst things she could think of to study, and she could only think of a few things she would rank beneath medical doctor in terms of what she wanted to be when she grew up. Still, when it came to the Ancient Technology Activation gene there was room for debate.

Doctor Beckett activated the Ancient scanning device next to Collins and pulled the results on a nearby monitor. "Let's take a closer look at you then, hm?" Doctor Beckett said with a wink at Doctor Collins.

Collins chuckled. "I don't think I'm comfortable being a lab specimen."

"There he is." Doctor Beckett cycled through some screens until he arrived at a model of DNA's double helix. "Doctor Collins, as a strand of nucleotides that would fit on the head of a particularly small pin. There's so much we don't know," Doctor Beckett said with a tone of awe and reverence. "Here is where the gene is located. Doctor Collins's gene is, as I mentioned, artificial."

"Does it look any different if it's natural?" Anna asked.

Doctor Beckett smiled. "Only to geneticists."

Anna nodded. So, no. It would never look any different to her. "Do you think it will make any difference for me that Radek's gene therapy didn't take?"

Doctor Beckett paused for a moment, then looked at her with his eyebrows arched. "That's an excellent question. We haven't had the opportunity to test family members." He looked at Collins as though this was an interesting line of thought.

Collins looked back, amused, but certainly not interested.

"Does that mean my chances of gene therapy went up slightly?" Anna asked with a grin.

"Don't get your hopes up," Doctor Beckett warned. "But I'm curious if there's a common denominator in those who have rejected the gene. If you were to accept it or reject it would be an interesting point of data either way."

"Speaking of interesting data," Collins said. "I am just dying to get to work on Project Arcturus."

Doctor Beckett left off any more talk of the ATA gene. Anna tried not to get her hopes up, but she couldn't help it. It would mean that she could do things Radek couldn't—and he'd just have to accept that. So what if he was too afraid to go offworld and face wolves and other dangers? Anna wasn't.

The ATA gene wouldn't help with that. But it would be something she had that he didn't, and she didn't know why that appealed to her so much.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Dobrý, Doctor Beckett. Jak se máš? = Hello, Doctor Beckett. How are you?

** Mám se dobře, děkuju. = I'm fine, thank you.

* * *

 _Next time: Um. Nice needles. Your hair smells nice. I mean—what?_


	43. Moving On

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: After an adventure offworld, Radek might have overreacted a bit and put Anna on protective house arrest (chapters 37-41). Anna isn't happy, but she'll get over it. Now, Radek's being called offworld for a mission. Hopefully there are no Wraith darts involved._

* * *

 **Chapter 43. Moving On...**

The irony was not lost on Radek. After lecturing Anna on the danger of 'gate travel and laying down the law that she wasn't allowed to go anywhere for quite some time… here he was. About to go offworld.

This was his job. Nothing to explain and he was in precious little danger.

Yes, of course, "little danger." Did he really lie to himself that often?

There was always danger in going offworld, just like there was danger in living on Atlantis. Anna hadn't talked to him this morning… After last night, did he just expect today to be a blank slate? Should he talk to her about it?

What in the world would he say if he did?

He peered into the infirmary for a moment before walking in. She wasn't here. Collins said she was when he came earlier. Radek heaved a sigh and stepped into the room. Project Arcturus was so large and important that the science team members were required to give blood beforehand, to get a baseline. Who knew what sorts of "radiation and whatnot," as McKay put it, they'd dig up on the planet.

Doctor Keller noticed he was there before he was ready to be noticed. She approached slowly, her hands behind her back, like she was looking at an exhibit in a zoo or something. "Doctor Zelenka?" she ventured.

"Hello, Doctor Keller," he answered. Wringing his hands, he took a few quick steps further into the infirmary.

"You want to give me some of your blood, too?" Doctor Keller asked jokingly. She seemed too young for the title, but Radek thought that of quite a few members of the expedition. Or maybe she was older than she looked. He tried to ignore her deft, delicate hands picking up two gloves, a syringe, and four tubes.

"Um, 'want'…? No, I'd rather keep it all. It's required, though, so I suppose… yes." Radek sat on the bed when Doctor Keller indicated he should and took off his jacket. The infirmary was always so damned cold, wasn't it? Didn't cold make blood vessels smaller? He didn't need that kind of stress.

"Don't worry, it won't take but a minute." Doctor Keller got all her instruments of pain and torture together and snapped on her gloves. She laughed lightly when she came to his side. "No need to be nervous, Doctor."

"Nervous." Radek chuckled. Or, rather, tried to. He sort of ended up snorting and choking on his own breath, drawing a sympathetic smile from the young Keller. "I'm not."

 _Nice recovery_. He rolled his eyes at his own obviousness.

"I'll be quick," she said.

And it didn't help that she was treating him like a child, either. Maybe because she was actually a child. Very close, anyway.

"Don't trouble yourself," he mumbled and rolled up his sleeve.

Doctor Keller tied an elastic blue strip around his arm and pulled his elbow close. She squinted at the bend in his arm, tapping the vein there with two gloved fingers. "Do they usually take blood from this arm?" she asked, sounding a little uncertain.

Radek sighed and shrugged. "All the doctors tell me my veins are impossible."

Keller giggled. "No wonder you hate this." She rubbed the disinfectant on his arm and picked up her syringe. "Ready?"

 _Just get it over with_. He smiled, instead. "Yes." He looked at his arm, where in a few moments a sharp steel needle would be stuck under his skin. It was really just a prick, but most of the medical personnel, even Atlantis's practiced and professional team of doctors, sometimes had to dig around for a vein. Bloodwork usually left a four-day bruise.

Doctor Keller didn't have to dig, though. "There."

Radek just nodded and didn't look. Truthfully, he hated the sight of blood—especially his own—and had a low threshold for pain. She was far better at this than Doctor Cole, though, apparently. Or else just lucky.

"Are you faint at the sight of blood or something?" she asked.

"Not sure," he said. "I don't think I've ever looked long enough." Being poked, prodded, and dissected vial by vial was one of the more unpleasant parts of 'gate travel. Near intolerable. He'd gotten out of it so far by only going offworld once, and that to a rather uninteresting planet.

Doctor Keller obviously picked up on his obvious discomfort. "Why don't you try thinking about something else?" she asked. "I'll be just a couple more seconds."

"Think about something else," Radek muttered to himself.

It wasn't as hard as he imagined it would be. "Is that…" He looked around the infirmary for something tropical-looking. Maybe a fruity donation from the botany department. "Is that mango?" he asked, glancing at Doctor Keller to see if she smelled it, too.

Doctor Keller blushed. "Oh, I think that's my shampoo."

"Oh." He contemplated that for a few seconds. He'd forgotten shampoo could smell like things. But now that he thought about it, that explained why he smelled cherry blossoms around Anna so frequently. "It smells nice."

What? Why did he say that?

Doctor Keller blushed even more fervently. "Um, thank you."

"Not that, I mean…" Radek couldn't figure out how to explain himself out of that weird comment. "Not that I have ever smelled your hair on purpose." Good god. Just shut up.

Doctor Keller was kind enough to pretend he didn't just say that. "I should probably switch shampoos. Strong scents were never allowed when I worked in hospitals, because people can be allergic to them."

"I wonder if Rodney is allergic to the smell of lemon…" Maybe it could be Rodney-repellant. He realized at Doctor Keller's baffled look that probably didn't make much sense if she didn't know… "Because Rodney is allergic to citrus."

"Oh." Doctor Keller giggled and shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"All done," she said a moment later. She stabilized his arm with her hand, gauze pad at the ready. She withdrew the needle, and caught the stray dribble of blood with the gauze. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"All things considered," Radek said, "you're not too bad at stabbing people." Alright. Time to just stop talking. Maybe forever.

"I think I just got lucky this time." Keller looked just as confused as Radek felt. "They said that the doctors on Atlantis do everything. I didn't realize they meant everything."

"What do you mean?"

"On Earth, doctors don't draw blood."

On Earth, physicists didn't concern themselves with plumbing, but just this morning Radek fixed a problem with the showers in the quarters in the Central Tower. Colonel Sheppard was uncharacteristically grumpy about it.

"Hold this. It'll just be about five minutes. In the meantime, we can get your brain scans done."

Radek pressed on the temporary dressing while Doctor Keller marked the vials with Radek's name. He was surprised she didn't even have to ask him what it was. Spelled it right and everything.

"So how's Anna?" Doctor Keller asked.

Right, Anna. That was a much better conversation topic than stabbing and blood and... hair that smelled like mangoes. "I don't know," he answered. "You probably see more of her than I do."

Doctor Keller smiled fondly. "She's a sweet girl."

"I had nothing to do with that." And continued to have nothing to do with it.

After wrapping the gauze to his arm, Doctor Keller directed Radek to the huge Ancient machine that they used for head and full-body scans. Radek had no idea how it worked. That felt closer to the realm of of a doctorate in physics than plumbing, but, well, there it was.

"I don't know," Doctor Keller mused a moment later as she set the apparatus next to his head.

"Don't know what?" Radek asked.

"You were involved in the first seven or so years of Anna's life, weren't you?" Keller asked.

"Oh." _Involved_. Well, that was a funny word. If living in the same house passed for involvement, then yes. He was. Radek nodded absently until he realized that Keller was trying to get a scan of his brain. "I suppose I was. A little." Those days sometimes seemed like yesterday. And then he thought of the teenager living in the next room and they couldn't have seemed more distant.

"I guess you did miss some important things. Broken arms, broken hearts, birthdays, crushes… But there's still plenty of time for all that. Read this out loud, please." Keller handed Radek a tablet with a stock paragraph in Czech about paper production.

He tried to concentrate on reading so that the brain scan would show correctly, but his mind ran away with him. Crushes? That wasn't necessarily going to be a problem here on Atlantis, considering the shortage of kids her age. On the other hand, Radek had already established that Anna saw Keller a great deal more than she saw him. Did she know something he didn't?

That almost went without saying.

He finished reading the paragraph and handed it back.

"What makes you say?" he asked.

"What makes me say what?" Keller asked.

"Has Anna told you something…?" He didn't know how to phrase that without seeming nosy. He shrugged and took the tablet from Doctor Keller when she handed it back. This time it had a logic puzzle he assumed he was supposed to solve. "Never mind," he mumbled and got to work.

He decided to ignore it for the time being. But Keller was right. Radek missed a lot and Anna was older. Much older than that seven-year-old who thought that boys were disgusting creatures to be avoided at all costs.

That seven-year-old was correct. But that didn't mean she was coming back.

#

" _What are you reading?"_

Anna looked up over the top of her book. Radek sat in the chair across from the couch, even though she was sitting on the floor in front of it, with his own book. It looked considerably less interesting, and definitely more Czech. "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy _by Douglas Adams_ ," she answered. Colonel Sheppard said she would like them—since it was really several books in one volume—and that it was perfectly apt for their situation. He said even Doctor McKay would agree.

The next day he gave her a bath towel.

" _In English_?" he asked, peering at the book cover.

" _Yeah_."

He looked impressed and nodded.

 _"It isn't hard_ ," she said.

" _I wouldn't spend my leisure time reading something in English_ ," he said. " _It seems too much like work_." He looked down at his folded hands, tapping his fingers one after the other. She closed her book and waited for him to say whatever it was he sat down to say.

" _You know about Project Arcturus, yes?"_

Anna nodded. She knew this was coming. " _You're going offworld. Probably for a long time_."

" _Yes. Well, not at first."_ Radek looked apologetic. " _At first we'll just be deciphering logbooks and trying to figure out what it is."_

She nodded and opened her book again. " _Watch out for the wild dogs_."

He chuckled, half-heartedly. She was surprised when he didn't get up and walk away after that. He didn't even move. He just sat staring at his hands like he hadn't seen them in ten years.

Anna could only guess he was trying to figure out a way to say something. She couldn't imagine what. It was too late for her to go to Arkos with Iskaan, and she doubted that his going to another planet was going to give him a change of heart, anyway. She went back to her book.

" _How is life?"_

Anna looked back up. " _What?"_

" _Are you happy?"_

Two ridiculously unexpected questions in only so many seconds. " _I guess so. Why?"_

She wasn't unhappy, anyway. Not by any means. Most days she could get by without being bored, and she was almost getting used to the constant brainwork. She had Ronon and Teyla to teach her bantos fighting, and that was entertaining in its own way. Colonel Sheppard was taking her marksmanship (or lack thereof) personally. Jennifer was fun to talk to and Elizabeth was patient in teaching her English. Collins was good at translating everything she wanted to know about Atlantis into everyday English, and fun to talk to besides.

She wouldn't have called any of them friends, per se. But they were tolerant of her being there, which was more than she could usually say for Doctor McKay.

He shrugged and spoke slowly. " _I worry that you regret coming to Atlantis_."

Anna had regrets, but coming to Atlantis wasn't one of them. " _I don't regret coming to Atlantis_."

" _There is no one your age here for you to talk to, and I will be gone for probably many weeks. I'll be back now and again, but I will be gone the majority of the time_."

Which wasn't all that much different from usual. " _I'm fine_ ," she said.

He sighed and nodded. She got the sense there was a lot more that he wanted to say, but he didn't say it. He just stood up and turned to his room. " _We leave early tomorrow morning. I probably won't see you for breakfast_."

" _That's fine_."

He hesitated. " _Alright_." He went to his room.

Anna watched the door for a while after it closed. She probably should have been more specific about her regrets. But regrets didn't change anything. They were just a way to dwell on things that no longer made any difference.

Moving on. That was how Atlantis worked. And probably everywhere else, too, but she just didn't know it. So she moved on from Arkos and tried to move on from something so silly as being angry about that. She wasn't really angry about that anyway… Not anymore.

She had a feeling that she could get there if she tried hard enough. She had a bath towel now.

* * *

 _A/N:_ Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. _I highly recommend it. Hilarious book. I think there was a film, too. And a radio show? Stuff. Anyway, I guess my_ Hitchhiker's _references are only an episode or two late. There wasn't time in Duet. (Ha?)  
Also, my beta told me he wished I would change this chapter, or, at the very least, I should apologize for the cringe. I refuse to pretend that the whole "he's always telling me how nice my hair smells" thing didn't happen. (But, you know, I'm sure Zelenka's a very good person. He's the best.) So this is me, not apologizing_ _._

 _I would also like to use this ever-expanding author's note to thank everyone who leaves reviews! You make my day. I treasure each of them and try to make every adventure better than the last for you guys. It just takes a while... On that note, see you all next week!_

* * *

 _Next time: But what do I have to be grateful for?_


	44. Um Thanks?

_Last time: Radek's is headed off for an offworld mission. Anna's trying to entertain herself and communicate to Radek how irritated she is without so many words. Which, you know, is not necessarily Radek's language. Also, she's got a present to give someone (since chapter 37)? On a Thursday?_

* * *

 **Chapter 44. Um... Thanks?**

"This… this is lovely, Anna," Elizabeth said with a huge smile. She looked up from reading Anna's paper. "Your English has improved in leaps and bounds, and your vocabulary is spreading beyond mine, I think."

Anna didn't know about that, but she liked to hear the compliment anyway. "Thank you." She scooted her chair up to the other side of Elizabeth's desk. "I thought you would like the part about the Book of the Dead."

"Referencing one of Doctor Jackson's works was unexpected."

Probably because it was a heady piece of well over fifty-thousand English words. Anna had found the time to read it and work on her bantos fighting with Lieutenant Cadman while Teyla and Ronon were away, off planet, conducting another trade mission for the Athosians. Doctor Jackson's paper in one hand and a dictionary in the other... It was a bad day.

"It was fun to read," Anna offered.

"Did you think so?" Elizabeth looked positively pleased at that.

Anna wondered if she'd accidentally sounded a bit too enthusiastic. There were only a few hundred thousand things in the database she'd rather be reading… "Well, it wasn't as boring as I thought it would be," she added.

"I see," Elizabeth said with a knowing smile. She paused to put down the tablet and pick up her mug of tea. "You're not too lonely with Radek being gone for so long, are you?"

Anna shrugged. "It's only been a week." But it was getting a little lonely. Everyone was always so busy. "Teyla and Ronon have been offworld, but I've been practicing hand-to-hand combat with Lieutenant Cadman."

"That reminds me," Elizabeth said, suddenly sitting up straighter. "A group of the American members in the expedition are getting together for dinner tonight for Thanksgiving. Nothing big. I'd be happy—and I'm sure Jennifer and Laura would, too—if you wanted to join us."

"I'm not American." Anna had lived in the country for a grand total of one month. Of course, to the rest of the world, she still lived there. She might be celebrating Thanksgiving if she were there, but she doubted it. Radek would probably be working if they were there, too.

"That's okay," Elizabeth said quickly. "Thanksgiving is more about family getting together and enjoying one another's company." She smiled. "You're family now, as part of the expedition."

Family. Anna guessed she should consider herself lucky that she was the only member of the expedition whose family was immediately within reach. Sort of. Most of the time. "I suppose Radek and the others won't be back for Thanksgiving?"

Elizabeth seemed to consider that. "No."

Anna nodded quickly. Of course, it wouldn't make sense for the team to come back for the sake of a Czech scientist attending an American holiday celebration. She didn't know why she didn't want to give the impression that she missed Radek.

Because she was fifteen years old, for goodness' sake. She could survive a few weeks on her own. In another galaxy.

Surrounded by friends and surrogate-family. "I'll come celebrate Thanksgiving," she said quietly.

Elizabeth seemed pretty pleased with that idea. "Yes. That sounds lovely."

#

"Anna!" Jennifer squealed when she found Anna at the door to Elizabeth's quarters, awkwardly holding a small loaf of bread. "I didn't know you were coming!" She didn't wait a moment before pulling Anna into a one-armed hug, probably to avoid crushing the loaf.

Anna looked around at the familiar faces. She didn't talk to most of these people, but she knew who most of them were. Not by name, but she doubted a lot of them would talk to her anyway. "And this is from Iskaan."

"Oh, that Athosian boy?" Jennifer asked, her eyebrows raised conspiratorially.

Anna chose to ignore that, though. They were just friends. "Yes."

Jennifer smiled knowingly, like she thought there was something Anna wasn't telling her. Jennifer took the loaf and set it on the table that dominated most of the room. There was a large roasted bird in the center of the table, some sort of cylindrical red gel, a salad, mashed potatoes, and all sorts of other food. It looked like just enough for all of them to have a nice meal.

"You can sit next to me, Anna," Jennifer said, motioning to a seat she was standing next to.

Everyone suddenly gathered around the table as if called there by a bell all but Anna heard. Anna stood at the chair next to Jennifer. Anna noticed most of the American science team members had joined them, too, at the end of the table. She smiled when Sheppard pulled the chair out next to her.

"Didn't know you were joining us," Sheppard said as he sat down.

"I didn't either," Anna offered. "Elizabeth invited me. And I wasn't doing anything else."

"Assimilating our culture, huh?" A spark of mischief lit his eye.

Anna just shrugged to that, since she had to guess what the word meant. "I don't think so," she said finally. "Just eating the food."

Elizabeth came to the other side of the table, directly across from Colonel Sheppard. She smiled when she saw Anna. "Thank you for coming."

Anna nodded as they all sat down.

"I hope you don't mind, but it's a tradition for my family to pray before Thanksgiving dinner," Elizabeth announced.

Anna kept quiet while there were sporadic nods and a few noncommittal shrugs around the table. Sheppard didn't seem too enthused, but no one was going to object, apparently. Tradition was tradition, even in another galaxy. Maybe especially in another galaxy.

Elizabeth offered her hands to the people seated on either side of her until everyone around the whole table joined hands. Anna took Jennifer's hand and then looked to her right. Sheppard offered his hand to Anna.

Everyone seemed pleased, for the most part. Anna was surprised, considering more than half the table had to be confirmed atheists. The Czech Republic was famous over the world for its irreligiosity, and Anna considered herself no exception. But she didn't mind praying. She was celebrating an American holiday, after all.

Elizabeth bowed her head, eyes closed.

"Dear Lord," she began.

It seemed to Anna like everyone held their breaths. Most of the people around the table also bowed their heads and closed their eyes. Anna hoped the prayer wouldn't last long. She lost track of what Elizabeth was saying until the very end.

"Finally, we're thankful for our friends who've become family. We're thankful that we trust one another and defend one another. May we keep each other safe another year, together. Amen."

"Amen," was echoed around the table. Everyone let go of the hands they were holding. It was strange how reluctant some people seemed to let go of each other's hands, given how reluctant they were to take them in the first place.

Suddenly everyone started talking to one another as they passed bowls of bread stuffing and potatoes, platters of various kinds of meats, and pitchers of all kinds of sparkling beverages. Jennifer left for a few seconds only reappear with three bottles of wine.

Jennifer poured herself a glass and then leaned closer to Anna. "What's the legal drinking age in the Czech Republic?"

Anna giggled. "What's the legal drinking age on Atlantis?"

Elizabeth gave Jennifer a less-than-approving glare from across the table, but apparently found it amusing all the same. Anna handed one of the bottles to Sheppard.

"A teenager near free alcohol doesn't take any?" He marveled as the scarlet liquid chugged into his glass. He smirked. "What is the world coming to…?"

As far as Anna knew, she didn't like anything alcoholic, but she'd never been adventurous enough to try. When she was quite small, maybe five or six, she stumbled upon one of Radek's beers on the dining room table and decided to taste it. Not only was it the most disgusting thing her young tongue ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with, but it was so surprising to her that she ended up spilling the rest of the chilly beverage all over the table, one of the chairs, and the floor. It ruined the idea for her, to say the least.

Except, it was the last time she remembered Radek and her mother laughing together.

All that to say, she'd never tried it again. Besides, with her social abilities at school, it wasn't as though she was getting invited to many parties of any kind. Much less the kind where alcohol might be available. Her mother would have killed her anyway.

Anna contented herself with sparkling cider even though Colonel Sheppard told her he'd never tell if she decided she wanted wine instead.

"There's a tradition in my family to go around the table and say one thing that we're thankful for," Jennifer said after everyone had gotten well into their meals.

There was a chuckle from the far end of the table. "In mine, too."

"I'll start, and no fair copying other people's thanks," Jennifer said. She lifted her glass. "I'm thankful for the wine." Multiple other glasses lifted to touch rims.

Anna was most thankful when the person on Jennifer's other side said they were thankful for a fully-charged ZPM. Even though that was almost too easy, agreements resonated around the table. The next person was thankful for the last patch to the operating system.

Thinking frantically wasn't going to help her come up with anything that she was thankful for. She didn't know why she felt guilty that she couldn't come up with anything. She would have been thankful to have her mom back, but that was a useless thought. Still, like Elizabeth said, Thanksgiving was a time for family and she didn't have any. Not really. This, however hard Elizabeth and Jennifer tried to make her feel like she fit in, didn't count.

She looked at the bubbles in her cider. But even if they weren't family, they were still very nice. And without them, Anna would be pretty lonely. That was the only thing she could think of, and it sounded awfully cliché. She had to come up with something else.

Was there anything she was particularly happy about right now?

She frowned seriously at her plate and the picked over bird leg. The thanks came closer and closer, making it even more difficult to come up with anything. What was she thankful for? Not school. She couldn't say she was thankful for Elizabeth and Jennifer…

Sheppard seemed pretty pleased when it was his turn. "I'm thankful for lemons."

Elizabeth tried to hide her laugh.

Sheppard looked at Anna as though to goad her into finishing up the round so they could be done. "I'm thankful for… I'm thankful for family."

Anna was surprised no one else had said family, probably because theirs were not present. But out of sight did not mean out of mind. Anna's family was only a Stargate away, and she felt lonely. What about everyone else, whose family was in another galaxy entirely?

Maybe it was the other half of her family she was missing so acutely. The half she would never see again.

Everyone got back to talking pretty quickly after that, so Anna didn't think much of it.

Sheppard and Elizabeth started talking about golf.

Jennifer turned to Anna. "Arcturus keeping your dad busy?" Her tone sounded sad.

"It could be important." It was all Anna could think to say. She couldn't imagine there wasn't anyone here who didn't hope for a good defense against the Wraith that didn't involve going invisible. "But this is an American holiday. I doubt he even knows about it."

"That's true." Jennifer swished the green bean casserole around on her plate before scooping up a mouthful. "I'm glad you got to celebrate with us, anyway. It's sort of what Thanksgiving is about."

"What?"

"I don't know." Jennifer shrugged. "Putting aside differences and bringing what we have together for something better."

Anna nodded, even though she couldn't really speak to the merits of Thanksgiving one way or another. "Kind of like Atlantis."

"Exactly like Atlantis." Jennifer looked pleased. "People make mistakes, but, no matter what anyone says, what's at the heart is what matters."

#

Anna leaned into the doorway of the gym. Ronan was in the middle of beating a punching bag like it had betrayed him. Anna was sure it deserved it.

He paused for just a moment when she walked in. He didn't stop for long though.

She dropped her gym bag beneath the window seat and retrieved her two bantos sticks. She stood to one side of the room to practice the set that Teyla gave her before leaving. Teyla and Ronon were leaving again tomorrow morning to conclude their trading mission. Ronon was acting like things hadn't gone well, though.

Anna went through the set twice when Ronon stopped. He started unwrapping the straps on his knuckles as he sat down on the bench underneath the window.

"How was offworld?" Anna asked.

Ronon glanced at her. Shrugged. "Fine."

A growled response was the first indication that it did not, in fact, go fine. Anna cleared her throat and edged closer to the window bench. She knew not to press it though. It was tough enough to get him to talk about the correct way to punch things. She knelt at her duffel and unzipped it.

"I traded for some throwing knives," Anna said. She pulled out the three knives and showed them to Ronon. "Will you still teach me how to throw them?"

"Sure," Ronon said. He picked up one of the knives and turned it in his fingers. He glanced over his shoulder at a rubber man standing on a pole and, with hurricane movement, hurled the knife. It stuck in the quivering head. "Nice."

Anna smiled and rummaged around in her bag. Might as well give him the knife now. She pulled out the bent knife and looked at it. Ronon still admired his handiwork, looking only a little bit concerned about the thin slit in the dummy's forehead.

When he turned around and saw the huge knife held awkwardly in Anna's hands, he looked incredibly amused. "When you get into something, you really get into it."

Anna held the knife out to him. She was most certainly not this into knives. Hopefully she never would be. She wasn't even sure how to hold this bent knife correctly without slicing her hands open. "I don't—actually, she gave it to me. The girl selling the knives. I don't want it."

Ronon took the knife, twirling it in his hand. He pantomimed cutting off the rubber man's head.

"Do you want it?" Anna asked quickly. She leaned against the wall and picked up one of the throwing knives.

Ronon shrugged. "Sure?"

Anna smiled. "It's a gift, then."

"Um. Thanks."

* * *

 _Next time: I always wanted to go to another planet. But I never wanted to go to another planet._


	45. Cheap Fun

_Previously: Turns out Anna is fine without Radek since he's been offworld. What's surprising is that she misses him a little bit. There is just not enough alcohol around for Radek to drown out Rodney's insults (the "tradition" between Radek and Collins explained in chapter 21)._

* * *

 **Chapter 45. Cheap Fun.**

"Alright." Jennifer set aside everything she was working on and turned to Anna. She put her hands in her lap and stared at her seriously. "Enough of this. You've been coming here every day to work for hours and hours straight for the past week."

"What else am I supposed to do?" Anna had been about to ask Jennifer what she was doing there, then, since today was technically her day off.

"I don't know." Jennifer's smile was a little lopsided. "What do you do when Radek's here?"

"Nothing," Anna muttered. She did this, school work. She talked to Jennifer. Collins. He was still offworld with the other scientists. Sometimes Doctor Beckett, but he'd been very busy lately.

Sometimes even Elizabeth, but Anna had even less in common with her than with Jennifer. As Doctor McKay said, sometimes Doctor Beckett managed to elevate medicine to "actual science." Anna didn't know if she would go so far as to say that medicine wasn't actually science, but sociology definitely wasn't.

"I practice bantos fighting with Teyla and Ronon. Ronon's been teaching me how to throw knives and Colonel Sheppard has been teaching me how to shoot." As soon as she was proficient at that, she figured she could go offworld again. It was nice to have another motivation for her physical activity.

"I mean for fun," Jennifer said again. She grinned. "You live in the south-east pier, right?"

Anna nodded. As far as she knew, Jennifer lived there, too.

"I think there's a plaza a few floors below the crew quarters. It has an old fountain and what look like shop fronts. Have you been there?"

Probably not surprisingly to Jennifer, Anna shook her head. She hadn't done much exploring. Maybe that was something putting Radek off letting her go offworld. After all, if Anna was actually an explorer at heart, wouldn't she actually do more exploring? He might be more inclined to let her go if he was convinced it was important to her.

"Let's go. It's been mapped out, but no one's really done any real exploring down there." Jennifer slid off her chair and was out the door before Anna could form an appropriate objection.

Really, there didn't seem to be a reason not to go. There was nothing else to do and it was apparently a very slow day in the infirmary. Especially since Jennifer wasn't even supposed to be there. It was better than sitting in the infirmary, banging her head on the table over yet another impossible scenario from Doctor McKay.

"What does 'real exploring' involve?" Anna asked.

"Hopefully something a little more exciting than labeling Atlantis power conduits," Jennifer said with a smile as the transporter doors swept shut behind them. She pressed on a small yellow dot and a moment later, the doors were open again.

"That was a few days ago," Anna muttered. And she'd done just fine on that assignment. "This one is even worse." She peered out the now-open transporter door.

The city was dark, an eerie copy of itself just a few floors up. Anna waited for Jennifer to leave first. The lights turned on in response to Jennifer's exit, but it was still empty. Why the empty hallway was scary was beyond Anna's reckoning, but it was.

"How so?" Jennifer asked, looking left and right.

Anna stepped out into the deserted hallway. "It's hard to explain."

It was beyond her why Doctor McKay wanted her to explain how she would build an atomic bomb using only objects she could find at a hardware store. He said he'd been doing this since grade six. It led Anna to wonder what his school was doing to provoke a pre-teen arms race, but didn't ask.

"He picked an assignment he said should take long enough for him and his team to finish up with Project Arcturus. To keep me occupied." It was sort of patronizing.

"Will it?" Jennifer asked. She motioned to one side and led the way down a staircase like the one behind the control room.

"No." Anna didn't mean to pout. It was a boring assignment, honestly. Or maybe the average Czech hardware store was a little more interesting than their Canadian counterparts. "I'm going to be done with it in just a few days. At this rate, Elizabeth will be able to teach me the ins and outs of Symbolic Interactionism and have time to spare for Role Theory."

Jennifer laughed. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't want to explain it." It involved saying "symbolic interactionism" multiple times. It was hard enough in her first language. "I will be happy when we move on to something that makes a bit more sense."

She stopped walking when Jennifer did, and looked around.

It was beautiful. Or, at least, she could imagine it was beautiful at one time. The fountain was empty, but with the way the light filtered in through golden glass above their heads and bounced off of mirrors in the fountain's basin, it was easy to imagine this once was a wonderful place. Anna tried to imagine the Ancients, walking from here to there. Sitting on the edge of the fountain while they debated their next great invention.

Openings in the walls looked like shop fronts, facing a bank of windows looking out at one of Atlantis's bays.

Jennifer went into one of the doorways. "I wonder what these things are."

"The Ancients left the city in a hurry, didn't they?" Anna asked, joining Jennifer as she peered into a box. Inside were a bunch of square crystals, all the exact same size and color.

Jennifer slid one out and turned it in her hand. "Yeah, I think so."

"Looks like someone already brought one back to look at," Anna said, pointing out another empty space.

Every box they checked was the same story. Multiples of some strange item, but missing at least one. In a short time, they sat on the edge of the fountain with a hoard of treasures set out in front of them. They would make nice decorations, but Anna got the feeling they were for something else. Maybe something else more important.

Of course, they could have been looking at boxes of soap. The Ancients had to take showers, too. Obviously, since their living quarters were equipped with bathrooms like any good living space.

"That was fun," Anna admitted, even though she wasn't sure why.

Jennifer laughed and picked up a metallic pink spiral. "Gotta love some good, cheap fun."

#

"Why are you still here?" Rodney wondered.

Radek grinned behind his computer screen. Colonel Sheppard had been hovering over Rodney's shoulder for the last five hours straight. He took a small break to get a cup of coffee, but since he didn't bring Rodney one, that only made it worse.

"I'm incredibly interested in what you have going on here, McKay." Colonel Sheppard made a show of taking a huge gulp of coffee. He was everything but incredibly interested. "You said this was earth-shaking. I want to see what earth-shaking is."

"Okay, I did not actually use the term 'earth-shaking.'" Rodney sighed in exasperation. "It's going to take us a lot of time, especially if Radek keeps having problems with decimal places." With that he threw a glower in Radek's direction.

"Why do you drag me into this?" Radek objected.

"I'm on the edge of my seat. Can't wait to see this high-energy physics thing." Colonel Sheppard settled himself in a nearby chair, just behind Rodney. He grinned sarcastically when Rodney glared at him for half a second. Rodney was quick to get back to work.

Colonel Sheppard looked to Radek. "How's it going for you, Radek?"

"Nothing new since Rodney's Ancient typo." Radek didn't get the desired scowl from Rodney, but he knew he'd struck a nerve anyway when Rodney's clacking keyboard became just a bit louder. "Well, we've determined that it wasn't a typo."

"Oh, good," Sheppard said.

Radek wasn't about to challenge Sheppard's knowledge of energy weapons again. Not after Colonel Sheppard had effectively put Rodney in his place earlier. Radek was impressed, and not just because Rodney had seemed so deflated. Colonel Sheppard was smarter than he looked. Radek already knew that, of course. It lent some certain credence to the idea that Colonel Sheppard might have been Mensa-level intelligence.

Radek glanced toward Sheppard. "You're welcome to observe over here if you wish."

Sheppard shook his head, frowning. "No, thanks. I'm fine right here."

"Of course, you are—Collins!" Rodney snapped in the air over his head.

Collins glanced up placidly from a crystal control panel on the other side of the room.

"Could you go check up on the access hatch? I powered it up a few minutes ago and I'm getting weird power fluctuations."

"Weird like how?" Collins asked. He tapped the crystal panel back into its wall and made his way to Rodney's computer.

"Random spikes. Do I have to explain everything to you?"

Radek decided not to point out that Rodney had explained precious little. He might as well have said, _it's doing a thing it shouldn't be doing_. Of course, they'd solved problems and saved cities on less.

All the same, Collins nodded. "You got it." He went to the access hatch and pulled the door open to the white hallway. "Mind giving me a hand, Zelenka?"

"Sure."

Radek left his computer to continue its monitoring and joined Collins in the access tube, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Why do you think Sheppard is here?" Collins wondered as he looked into the top-level crystal control panel on the right side of the hallway.

Radek joined him at the far end of the hallway, opening the lower crystal hatch. "Boredom?"

"That always goes well," Collins muttered. He poked one of the crystals with a needle meant to register power levels. "But, I guess, if McKay is bugging Sheppard about his relative lack of IQ, then he'll leave us alone, right?"

Radek sniffed. "Unlikely." He tapped into the Ancient version of a multimeter and touched the needle to the control crystals. Might as well get comfortable, he thought. There were about twenty crystals in this single panel.

"Do you think this thing is as big a deal as McKay does?" Collins asked.

Radek shrugged. In honesty, he didn't know. In some way, he hoped that it was. But if that were true, that meant they were about to get in way over their heads. But they were in another galaxy, and that was the name of the game.

"I hope so," he said finally. "It would mean a sure defense against the Wraith."

"I saw the debris in orbit," Collins mumbled. "But I saw the debris down here, too."

Radek sighed. "Yes." He paused. "Honestly, I'm just glad to be away from Atlantis for a few days."

He didn't know why he'd said that out loud. Collins might ask what Radek meant by that, and he'd be forced to pick one of two undesirable explanations. Anna was easy, but he didn't want to talk about her. If he could just figure out how to talk to people like a regular human being, it would work out.

And then there was Elizabeth. Doctor Weir.

That was more nothing than it was something, though it occupied a significant amount of thought sometimes… He couldn't admit to that, though.

Anna, it was.

Collins smirked. "Anna being a typical teenager?"

Radek hesitated. That wasn't what he meant at all. But it was a fair guess. "More I am a typical incompetent father."

"She's seemed a little more moody than usual," Collins said. "Could be hormones."

"That is a convenient excuse," Radek said. And one Radek wasn't interested in taking at the moment. Maybe sometime in the future, when he'd exhausted all other avenues. He wasn't there yet. "It will be good for us to have a few days away."

Collins nodded. "Didn't mean to pry."

Radek pulled a crystal from his panel and handed it up to Collins. "Is that our culprit? It's diverting power from the central matrix and… I don't remember it being here yesterday."

Collins turned it over as he inspected it, glancing at the empty slot in the panel below. "Looks like it." He tapped his hatch closed and crouched next to Radek on the floor. "Who was the last one to touch this panel?" He sounded annoyed.

"I haven't been in here since yesterday," Radek said. He didn't say anything about where he'd seen Rodney this morning. Along with a bunch of others, of course, but it was nice to blame Rodney for something every now and again, even if it wasn't actually his fault.

It was never Rodney's fault. That's what made it even more infuriating.

"I swear, I'll wring his neck." Collins switched a few crystal pieces and shut the hatch.

Radek grinned. "Not if I get to him first." More than once Radek swore to be Rodney's demise… of course, that was usually in a language no one but he understood.

Collins sighed. He was not in the mood.

Radek opened the door to the control room so Collins could go through.

"It's stabilized," Rodney said as soon as they came from the access tube. "Good work."

Collins went back to whatever he was working on before. Radek was just glad Collins was their resident crystal expert. He didn't want to spend the foreseeable months lying on the floor switching control crystals around.

"I told you I knew those control panels backwards and forwards," Collins said testily. "It's basically the chair interface without the—"

"Yes, yes, yes," Rodney interrupted. "You're hereby the go-to access tube technician."

"Oh, thanks."

Radek wondered if everyone else missed Collins's mostly-concealed sarcasm.

"You're welcome," Rodney mumbled as he got back to work. He suddenly glanced up at Radek. "Oh, and I checked your math there." He snapped his fingers toward a tablet Radek laid aside several hours ago. "I've seen more impressive work from my sister's husband."

Radek sighed, rolled his eyes, and looked at Collins. "Congratulations on your promotion," he said. "I will buy you a drink."

* * *

 _A/N: It's a Tuesday, yes._

 _It's March 21st, Radek's name day. Some places I read say Name Days are widely celebrated, other places say that lots of people don't observe them. I think it's a neat concept to have a set day to celebrate a person.  
_

* * *

 _Next time: Damnit, Sheppard, stop using words no one understands._


	46. Only Time

_Previously: Anna and Radek are doing their best to pass the time with Keller (in Anna's case), avoiding murder with Collins (in Radek's case) (since they've been offworld since chapter 43)._

* * *

 **Chapter 46. Only Time.**

"Radek and Rodney are on their way back," Elizabeth said.

Anna nodded. She knew that, but she was glad to hear it anyway. She continued walking. She didn't want to be late. "Good."

"Radek sent a message ahead for you to keep your dinner free," Elizabeth went on. She smiled. Maybe she thought it was cute.

But what else was Anna supposed to do for dinner? It wasn't as though there were a bunch of people making dinner dates with her. Iskaan was on the mainland. Elizabeth ate with her pretty often, though. Jennifer did sometimes, too, but she had her own friends to eat with. Friends who were not fifteen years old.

"You can tell him I will see him at dinner," Anna said. She sighed. "But I have to go see Doctor Heightmeyer."

"Oh?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "Is that going okay?"

"It's fine." Anna sighed. It wasn't bad, anyway. "I wish I didn't have to. But these weekly meetings are apparently mandatory." She looked at Elizabeth askance. "That isn't your idea, is it?" Anna once had a sneaking suspicion that it was on Elizabeth's suggestion, but these days she wasn't sure. It might have been Radek being protective.

"I'm not the one making them mandatory," Elizabeth said. "But I don't think it's a bad idea."

Anna sighed and nodded. She didn't know why she was disappointed. "I should get going. Doctor Heightmeyer will miss me."

Elizabeth nodded and let her go.

Anna arrived to her appointment a few minutes early. Doctor Heightmeyer told her to go in while she talked to a sergeant outside. Anna took a seat on the couch and waited. She didn't mind if Doctor Heightmeyer kept her waiting for an hour. Then she'd have to see someone else.

Anna tried to talk over strategy with herself for a moment. Doctor Heightmeyer always took ages to get around to what she really wanted to know about. How Anna was doing with Radek. With her mother being gone. Anna hated to admit that, these days, she didn't think about her a lot. She was only rarely bored, and even when she was there was plenty to explore. All sorts of places in this big city to lose herself in.

She doubted Doctor Heightmeyer would be pleased to hear that.

Doctor Heightmeyer walked back in. "Sorry to keep you waiting." She sat in her chair and leaned back. "How are you today?"

"Fine."

Doctor Heightmeyer looked at her sideways, only just barely, with a smile.

Sometimes Anna wondered if she knew any other suitable answer for that question. It was nice, though, how when Americans asked that question, they never really meant to know the answer. It was a polite thing to ask, not so much a polite thing to actually answer. On the other hand, Anna guessed that if any American would mean to know the real answer, a psychologist would be that one person.

"How is Radek?"

"I don't know. He went offworld with Doctor McKay and Doctor Collins and a few others." Something about a weapon or something. Except there was something different about it that they hadn't figured out yet. "I haven't seen him in a few days."

"Oh, I see." She looked a little pensive. "I think you said the same thing last time we met, too."

That was just after the whole city was waist-deep in the McKay/Cadman problem. No one was fine then. Though, Anna said they were. "We're about the same."

"But you haven't seen him." Doctor Heightmeyer sounded concerned.

That was a major misstep on Anna's part. "Well, he's only been offworld for a week. He's coming back today, actually. He and Doctor McKay are giving a report on whatever it is they find on the planet."

Doctor Heightmeyer didn't say anything. She just rearranged her arms on the armrests. She tapped her fingers, one at a time.

"He had a cold or something before," Anna offered. "So he is fine now."

"How were you during that?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

Anna shrugged. "I didn't get sick." That wasn't what Doctor Heightmeyer wanted to know.

"And how is schoolwork?"

A dull question. A question for strained family reunions. The question Radek always led with. It was something they both understood, anyway. "Can we skip ahead to the part where you ask how I'm doing with Radek and my mom and everything?" she asked. "Because I'm okay."

"Do you have somewhere to be?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked, looking amused.

"No… just some things…" She only hoped the conversation wouldn't go this direction. She didn't want to explain that Ronon and Teyla were coming back for the rest of the day from their trading mission. They would be leaving again tomorrow. They were supposed to practice bantos fighting this afternoon.

"Sounds interesting," Doctor Heightmeyer said. She actually sounded sincere, somehow. Anna sort of doubted that she was. "What were you planning?"

Anna shrugged. "Teyla and Ronon were going to practice self-defense. And I was going to join them. That's all."

For a moment, Anna worried she would continue the line of questioning.

"How did you like offworld?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked, suddenly switching direction entirely. "You went with a boy from the Athosian settlement, didn't you?"

Anna nodded. "Iskaan, yes. We got stuck in the tower of some ruins, but it was fun." And then after that Radek had forbidden her from going anywhere else. Possibly ever.

Doctor Heightmeyer folded her hands and leaned forward a little bit. "And Radek wasn't very pleased about that, I heard."

Anna sighed, rolled her eyes. "No, he wasn't, but I'm not too mad about that."

"Oh?" Doctor Heightmeyer's eyebrows raised.

"No." Nice try, though. "I told you, Radek and I are fine. He's offworld and I'm fine staying on Atlantis. Iskaan even comes here sometimes."

"So as long as you stay out of each other's way, everything is fine?"

"That's right." Anna hesitated. "I mean, it's not bad. I don't mean I prefer it that way. Because I don't. I wish Radek were here." Oh, this wasn't going well at all.

"You aren't used to being alone so often, are you?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked. "On Earth it was just you and your mom, wasn't it?"

Anna nodded.

"She was a teacher."

"Math teacher." Anna hadn't meant to say that, but she figured it wouldn't hurt.

Doctor Heightmeyer didn't say anything for what felt like minutes.

"At a small university. She would always… always help me with my homework." Now Collins did that. And that was alright. She was in another galaxy. Things were bound to be different here. "It sounds silly, but my mom used to have math races. See who could solve the most problems in a certain amount of time."

Doctor Heightmeyer smiled. "That doesn't sound silly. That sounds like fun."

"It was fun."

"She never had to go on any business trips, did she?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

"Sometimes," Anna answered. Not really like Radek's business trips, though. "Sometimes I would go with her. But during the school year, I would stay home and she would go away for seminars or conferences or other things. I was used to it."

Anna waited for a while for Doctor Heightmeyer to say something. She and Mom went to Berlin twice for seminars. She'd thought that was really something. She didn't go outside of her own city hardly ever when she was younger, only a few times to visit grandparents who died when she was quite small. Radek was with them, then. Berlin didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.

She supposed that was just growing up. Didn't have to go to another galaxy for that.

Doctor Heightmeyer finally said something. "Never alone for very long, though?"

"No. It was a little exciting sometimes. I could go to my aunt's house if something went wrong. But nothing ever went wrong."

"What was the longest you were apart?"

Anna bit her tongue. Almost nine months now. "Maybe two days."

Doctor Heightmeyer seemed to take that information in carefully. Almost like she'd heard what Anna wanted to say instead of the words she actually said. She doubted she'd mixed them up.

Anna sighed. "I'll be honest," she started.

Doctor Heightmeyer rearranged herself in her chair. "Good."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I don't mean I wasn't being honest before. I was always being honest. I'm working through my mom's death. By myself. And I'm fine with that. Radek and I don't have a lot in common. We just don't have very much to talk about."

"Why can't you talk with Radek about your mother? That is something you have in common, isn't it?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

"Talk to Radek about the death of the woman he divorced?" Anna wondered if she heard herself speak sometimes. She shook her head. "We don't… he wouldn't care about that like I do. I'm not saying he should, either. She asked him to leave, you know? He might be…"

She didn't finish that. It wasn't her place to guess how Radek felt about her mother's death. Was he angry that she didn't want to see him ever again? Did he regret that she got what she wanted? Was he sad?

Not like Anna was.

"It's a lot to get used to and I don't think that these talks are helping me," she finished.

Doctor Heightmeyer paused, eyebrows raised. "Oh?"

Anna felt a little guilty for saying that, but she did say she was going to be honest.

"Well, what would help then?"

Anna shrugged. Nothing. "Just time."

#

"Tell Collins to get his foot back in the Jumper," Sheppard scolded.

It was a joke. On the way here, Collins wasn't paying attention and almost got his foot cut off by the closing Jumper door. He hadn't lived it down yet. Almost every time a door closed, someone was quick to admonish the crew to watch for the safety of Collins' foot.

"Are you serious?" Rodney rolled his eyes. "Collins isn't even here."

Colonel Sheppard grinned. "But your annoyance is priceless."

"I'm not annoyed."

Radek made himself comfortable in the chair behind Rodney. It was a slow and easy ride from the planet to the gate. Nothing to be concerned about, especially since Colonel Sheppard was flying. Radek wasn't sure what he would do if Rodney ever wanted to take them. He'd go through that Stargate when it opened.

"So, Radek," Colonel Sheppard said a moment later, as if about to propose an ice breaker. Radek couldn't think of any other reason Sheppard wouldn't call him _Zelenka_ except to manufacture some sort of attempt at friendship between them. "Anna's been spending quite a bit of time with me and Ronon on Atlantis. You know, learning to shoot and throw knives and stuff."

Throwing knives. Well, that was new. He tried not to let it show that he knew absolutely nothing about it. "Thank you for taking the time to teach her." It was the only thing he could think to say.

"Yeah, anytime. I'm not sure if she's all that interested in learning how to handle a gun. But around here it's a good thing to know."

Radek found himself nodding in spite of the fact that he had no idea what Colonel Sheppard was talking about. "Wait a moment. What do you mean, she's not interested?"

"I mean, she's not coming to learn about the guns, if you know what I mean."

Was there anything else to learn about at a shooting range? Throwing knives, maybe? "I don't know what you mean…" Radek said quietly. He glanced at Rodney. Judging by the look on his face, Rodney had no idea what he meant, either.

"Oh, come on, Radek. She's a fifteen-year-old girl. To be honest, I'm a little surprised it hasn't come up a sooner." Colonel Sheppard looked amused as he went on. "If I never see it coming, you can bet that Ronon didn't see it. Sure, he's smarter than he looks, but I don't think he—"

"Wait, what?" Radek found himself interrupting. "What does Ronon have to do with this?"

"Anna has a little bit of a crush on him," Colonel Sheppard said. He looked over his shoulder at Radek, and grinned. Radek must have looked horrified. "It's harmless."

Harmless. That was easy for Colonel Sheppard to say. It wasn't his daughter gazing after the first resident male alien. The tall, dark, and handsome male alien.

"Ronon?" Rodney sputtered a second later. "What is it with women and brainless brawn?"

Radek was about to object to Rodney calling his fifteen-year-old a woman. But he did have a point. Why Ronon?

Was Radek seriously asking that question? He'd never thought of it before, but Ronon was… well, masculine? Extremely. Mysterious. Brooding over his lost planet. He'd killed Wraith with his bare hands. Maybe that was attractive to Anna? He figured if he met a woman who had killed Wraith with her bare hands, he'd find that downright alarming. Like Teyla. She might not have actually done that, but he was sure she could. And Radek hated to admit it, but he was more than a little wary of her.

Terrified was probably a better word.

But still only slightly less terrifying than thinking of his teenager finding someone—anyone attractive. Bare-handed Wraith-killer or not.

"That's not exactly fair," Sheppard was saying. "Ronon knows how to keep his mouth shut. That doesn't mean he doesn't have anything to say."

"What in the world am I supposed to do?" Radek asked.

Sheppard glanced back at Radek, a sniff to cover well-meaning laughter. "What do you think you can do?"

Obviously nothing. If he had any idea what to do about it, he wouldn't have asked the question. Sheppard made it sound like there was nothing to be done about it. So, what? Ignore it? Hope it went away? Because that went so well for him in the past…

It would go away. Ronon wouldn't encourage it. Would he? Radek knew nothing about Ronon.

"How do you know she does?" Radek asked.

Sheppard shrugged. "Well, you know, I'm not an expert on this sort of thing. But I can't think of any other reason why she's so intent on learning how to fire weapons she obviously has no interest in. Or why she'd give him a _kukri_."

"What the hell is that?" Rodney demanded before Radek got the chance.

Sheppard glanced at Rodney, who looked nothing less than scandalized. "Relax, McKay. It's a type of knife, kind of. Maybe a sword? No, like a machete, with a bent blade. They're usually made in Nepal. So I guess it's not technically a _kukri_. It's really nice, though."

Rodney did not relax. Neither did Radek.

"Where did she get a machete?" Radek wondered.

"Same place she got the throwing knives, I'd imagine." Sheppard shifted in his seat. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. It's not like Ronon's doing anything to encourage it."

Small comfort. "Are you sure?"

Sheppard rolled his eyes and turned back, taking his eyes off the final approach to the Stargate. That didn't exactly make Radek feel better. "I'm sure. She is fifteen years old." He turned back around and finished, "In case it wasn't clear, that means Ronon is definitely not interested."

"What do we really know about Sateda?" Radek pointed out. After all, they'd met several societies who did all kinds of courting rituals all kinds of younger-than-fifteen. "What if being uninterested is… what they do?" Considering different planets' cultural norms. That area of study was not located anywhere near his pay-grade. Thank god.

Sheppard snorted and radioed Atlantis that they were on final approach.

Radek kept quiet when they went through the Stargate. After the dazzling light display of 'gate-travel, Radek watched the Control Room fall away as they went up to the Jumper Bay.

Colonel Sheppard was probably right. There wasn't anything to it. Even if there was, nothing would come of it, and there wasn't anything Radek could do about it, anyway.

"She'll grow out of it in no time," Sheppard said as he opened the door in the back.

Not _no time_ , but Radek appreciated the thought. It would take time. The only question was… how much time?

* * *

 _Next time: Yes, I know I'm a failure. Anything else you want to talk about while you're here?_


	47. I Try

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek and Rodney are headed back to Atlantis after weeks away working on a project (since chapter 43)_

* * *

 **Chapter 47. I Try.**

" _It's good to see you, Anna_." Radek noticed her almost the exact moment he stepped out of the Jumper. She looked pleased to see him, a surprise considering that they hadn't exactly parted on the friendliest of terms.

" _It's good to see you, too. How is Project Arcturus?"_

"S _eems to be going well_ ," Radek answered. He looked over his shoulder at Colonel Sheppard as he exited the Jumper with Rodney. He nodded to Anna, and she smiled back, but he said nothing otherwise. " _We're only back to report our findings_."

" _I hope that goes well. I would join you for lunch, but I promised Teyla and Ronon that I would practice with them today_."

" _Teyla and Ronon_ ," Radek repeated with a sigh. " _That's fine. I have to hurry to get to the meeting anyway_."

Anna smiled. " _Dinner, though_."

Radek nodded. Dinner. He didn't realize until she said something about a meal that he was hungry. And he had a good forty-five minutes before the meeting. Better to get something to eat first. "I _will see you at dinner_."

Anna hesitated a moment before trotting off to practice knocking heads.

Radek wondered what he thought about that. It suddenly didn't seem so mundane. He'd barely talked himself into thinking it was practically harmless, and then Ronon had to step into the picture. Atlantis barely knew him. And somehow Anna had stumbled into… feeling something… Sheppard was right; it was nothing. Was he supposed to do anything about a fifteen-year-old broken heart?

Nonsense. It was nothing.

Radek picked up a sandwich and glanced around. Not many were there, since the usual lunch hour was passed. Only the late eaters were there now, leaving the mess hall quiet. Tranquil almost. Tranquil except for his tumultuous thoughts.

Would he ask her about Ronon? No. That was ridiculous. Like Sheppard said, she would grow out of it. He took a seat at a deserted corner table with his sandwich and looked around. The sun shone in through the huge windows and the sea glittered.

It was good to be home.

"Do you mind if I sit here, Doctor Zelenka?"

Radek looked up to Doctor Heightmeyer standing with a cup of tea next to his table. He was halfway through his sandwich, but she had a serious look to her. She had something important to say and he'd better well listen to it or it would be mandatory weekly evals for the foreseeable future. That just wouldn't work with the Ancient outpost.

Doctor Heightmeyer knew most of the expedition thought her services were a punishment. She'd learned to embrace it.

"Please, sit." Rodney would have to wait.

It might do him some good.

"I talked with Anna this morning."

"Yes, how is she?" Radek wasn't sure that was the right question to ask the psychologist.

Doctor Heightmeyer of all people would know that he had no idea how to relate to her. Who she was. How to spend time with her. So he hadn't. Granted, it had been very difficult since they got back. His free time had been consumed entirely by sickness, and Rodney periodically invented emergencies.

Project Arcturus felt like an invented emergency. Of course, it was important to increase their power stores if at all possible. But Rodney acted like it had to be done yesterday. They were safe for the time being. They wouldn't be if Rodney kept rushing headlong into mistakes that destroyed a planet.

"I'm concerned." Doctor Heightmeyer spoke carefully. Too carefully for it to be anything too serious, somehow.

Radek knew he couldn't afford to think that all the same. Anna was his daughter. If anyone should be concerned, shouldn't he? "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I get the feeling that she's very lonely," Doctor Heightmeyer said. "She misses her mother very much, and I'm afraid there isn't another figure—or even group of figures—in her life that have taken that spot very well."

Radek nodded, considering his words. "I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen her recently. And it feels as if she's been avoiding me lately."

Doctor Heightmeyer took that in stride, apparently content to put the majority of the blame on him anyway. It was a wonder she and Rodney didn't get along better. "I recognize how difficult it is, as a single, working parent—"

"No, it's not that."

Radek wasn't sure why he didn't just take the excuse he was given. Rodney was a pretty convenient excuse, too. But he probably could just look Rodney in the face and tell him that one day a week was off-limits. If he wanted to.

But he didn't do that. Did that mean he didn't want to?

Did that make him a terrible person?

Maybe only terrible people wanted what they wanted at the expense of everyone and everything else. He would have liked to give himself the benefit of the doubt, think that he didn't know what he was doing when Anna was little. He didn't know what he wanted back then. Still, the fact remained that he didn't want to go to a five-year-old's violin recital. Radek didn't remember thinking that Anna was a waste of time, but he acted like she was.

But did terrible people admit they were wrong? Try to fix it? Even if it was too late...?

"She is uninterested in getting to know me, and even more uninterested in me getting to know her." Radek took in a deep breath, unsure why that was so difficult to say. "I don't know what to say."

"Anna believes that you don't care about the same things she does."

Radek wasn't sure how that could be, seeing as she probably didn't know he cared about anything besides work. But there was obviously something else that Doctor Heightmeyer wasn't being clear about. Her roundabout verbiage was one reason Radek wasn't fond of her in the first place.

"I'm sorry," Radek said. "What specifically?" Truth be told… he had no idea what Anna cared about. So how could he care about that thing? Whatever it was?

"I believe Anna feels as if she's the only one who cares about your ex-wife's death."

That was silly. Not unreasonable, of course. It wasn't as though the topic came up over breakfast very often. He wasn't weeping about a love lost almost ten years ago. He regretted her death, of course. He regretted the life they could have shared. He regretted a lot of things.

Regret changed nothing.

"She wants to talk about her, and, since you knew her quite well at one time, you're the most likely candidate. Anna is most familiar with you," Doctor Heightmeyer said.

How untrue that was. But who else would she be familiar with? "I will try," Radek said finally. But it wouldn't help anything if she didn't want to talk, would it? Did Radek want to talk about her?

He rarely allowed himself to think about her. He wouldn't know what to say.

Doctor Heightmeyer gave a tight smile. "That's all I can ask for. So how are you?"

What a segue… "How am I…?" If only she knew. If only he knew. Radek sighed. "I have no time in the day to eat and sleep, much less for the things I consider most important."

He hadn't meant to snap. His direct superior was an insufferable, arrogant man who took pleasure in condescending his staff and Radek especially. He was working in an outpost that made all of Earth's nuclear arsenal look like a food fight. And that wasn't even the worst of it.

All he could think of was that conversation with Colonel Sheppard in the Jumper. He didn't know his daughter at all. He knew it. Everyone on Atlantis knew it. "I try to change, Doctor." He stood up. "But perhaps now we both realize why my ex-wife wanted me to leave. Will you excuse me?" He gathered his plate and napkin.

He couldn't bear Doctor Heightmeyer's clearly shocked look. Maybe it was the first time anyone on Atlantis had been explicitly honest with her.

"Doctor Zelenka," Doctor Heightmeyer said gently before he turned to leave. He waited in case she had some sage wisdom to impart, but he seriously doubted it. "I'm the first to admit that I don't know you very well. But I do know this: everything you've tried, you've done your best. Look where it's gotten you."

Radek pressed his lips together. This was not the sage advice he was expecting.

"I'm not asking for much," she finished. "I'm just asking you to try. Talk to her. She'll listen."

It was all he could do to nod and walk away. It was pretty rich for a psychologist to tell him all that. After all, she was trained to talk to people. He simply was not. He'd never used it as a crutch, but…

No. He'd never done that. He didn't take excuses. And, besides, he wasn't oblivious.

He had a meeting to get to, anyway. He would see Anna at dinner.

#

Anna spied Radek in the corner of the mess hall, picking over his lasagna. It wasn't his favorite.

She slid her tray across from him and sat down. " _Doctor McKay sounded excited about the meeting_." She offered him her cookie. Oatmeal raisin cookies might have made up for the poor luck of being back at Atlantis the one night they were having lasagna.

He eyed the cookie. " _Yes. What is this for?"_

Anna shrugged. " _Nothing. You like them, don't you?"_

He took the cookie like he thought it might bite him. " _Alright."_ Then he cleared his throat and shook his head. "Um, yes, Project Arcturus is looking very promising." Ah. Switching language gears. "It's really… it's quite exciting, actually."

"Good." Anna arranged herself more comfortably on her chair and leaned over her pasta. "Vacuum energy?"

He grinned. This was obviously a conversation he could get into. And Anna was interested. After all, who wouldn't be? Potentially limitless energy? "It does pose a few questions, of course," he said. "You know, it's very unstable. Creating exotic particles in other space-times isn't as much of a problem. But we have to live in ours."

Anna chuckled. "Yes. And Colonel Sheppard told me that it powers a really huge gun on the planet."

He shook his head slightly. "No. Well, yes. Sort of."

"Oh." She waited for him to explain.

But he never did. "How have you been? It has been almost two weeks, hasn't it?" He looked apologetic.

"I'm okay. I've been spending time with Elizabeth and Jennifer."

"And Colonel Sheppard tells me that he and Ronon have been teaching you how to use some of the guns and throwing knives?" He didn't sound like he approved of the exercise, but she couldn't figure out what. He paused before the guns… didn't seem to think twice about the knives.

What was he so hesitant about?

Anna nodded. "Yes." She waited a moment, looking at him sideways. "Is that okay?"

"Oh, yes, of course. That's fine." He obviously didn't mean that at all. He was _trying_ to mean it, though. That's what counted. "Are you interested in that kind of thing?"

Anna shrugged. "A little bit. It's not my favorite thing, but I want to try everything I can. We're in another galaxy… I should try new things." She sighed and sliced up more of the lasagna. "Because everyone's off Atlantis, I don't have any new science work to do. It's all botany and sociology."

"I see."

Anna chuckled. "I almost forgot. Colonel Sheppard has been trying to teach me what he calls 'military history' in football terms."

"What?" Radek laughed, too.

Anna would have appreciated to learn military history, of course. She might have appreciated to learn about anything more exciting than some new lily they found on the mainland. But Anna didn't know American football—and certainly no idea why Americans called the sport Anna called football, soccer and… Well, it was all very confusing. So far, the "class" had consisted of Sheppard subjecting Anna to video upon video of football games.

"I guess it's kind of cool," Anna offered. "But you know me and sports."

Radek hesitated. Probably thinking that he didn't actually know how Anna was with sports. She'd almost forgotten. But he could surely guess. Did he like sports?

"Not your favorite subject, I imagine?" he guessed.

"Far from it. But I'll try to just suffer through."

He chuckled. "Good girl."

* * *

 _Next time: There is a specific set of things that can be killed that I am very, very good at killing._


	48. Kill Count

_Previously: Since Radek is visiting Atlantis from a couple of weeks offworld (chapters 43-46), they're trying to catch up on their awkward relationship._

* * *

 **Chapter 48. Kill Count.**

Radek used to think he wouldn't be caught dead in the gym. Now he might be.

What was he worried about? It wasn't as though he was going to challenge Ronon to a duel. He stepped into the gym to find Ronon sitting on the bench under the window. He was sharpening a knife. Or was it a sword?

No matter.

"Ronon." He tried to sound like he belonged there. But, of course, they both knew he didn't. In absence of that, he hoped he sounded like he had a purpose here, even if he didn't belong.

He glanced up. "Yeah?"

"Ah…" What was he going to say? "I don't know if you—you were going to teach my daughter some hand-to-hand defense things." They stared at each other. For a split second, Radek wondered if he had the wrong Ronon. "Anna, my daughter?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Right. She has a bit of a crush on you." He put his hands together and tried to figure out where he was going from there.

Ronon looked just as interested in the answer to that question. "And?"

"I didn't want you to—I thought she might—" He was really pathetic, wasn't he? He waited long enough to distinguish his last mangled words from his next and finished. "Please, be careful." He didn't know what he meant by it and Ronon most definitely didn't know what he meant by it.

Still, a grin teased the corners of Ronon's mouth as Radek backed away. "Okay," he said, Radek couldn't decide if his tone was obliging or patronizing. "Anything else?"

"No."

"Okay." He went back to his sword.

Radek wished to retreat deep into the recesses of his lab and never emerge again. It wasn't that he was embarrassed. Though Ronon wasn't known for his eloquence, Radek figured he was a tier or two below even that.

No—that was nothing. Ronon didn't have any interest at all.

What in Pegasus was he going to do when some boy out there did?

Radek hurried through the halls until he realized he was lost. He was supposed to meet Anna at the shooting range, but he'd only been there twice. Once at the beginning of the expedition and once a few months ago. He always went with a gaggle of scientists and never paid any attention to where he was going.

He needed the firing range almost as much as he needed the gym. Except Anna was intent on showing him how well she could shoot a gun now. If he wasn't so terrified, he'd be proud.

After asking a lieutenant for directions, even though he'd almost found it on his own, he turned into the doorway of the firing range. It was oddly quiet. Anna and Colonel Sheppard were in there, setting out some nine millimeters.

Sheppard looked up, grinned. "Get lost?"

"No." Radek wondered if he'd heard the lie as clearly as Radek had. Judging by his stuck grin, probably. "I had to talk to—um, someone before coming. Why so many guns?"

"Don't you want to shoot, too?" Anna picked up one and then slid one on the table toward Radek.

"I, um, no. Not really." He pressed his lips together. Finally, setting his lab coat aside, he picked up one of the Berettas. They were supposed to be heading back to the Ancient outpost almost thirty minutes ago…

It was impossible for him to be late. The pilot was here, too, wasting time on a misdirected shooting demonstration.

"Shouldn't I be wearing a vest or something?" Radek wondered quietly. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. He didn't wear a bulletproof vest at the Ancient outpost. Things were far more likely to go wrong there than here. On the other hand, if things went wrong there, a bulletproof vest wouldn't help anything.

"Don't be silly," Anna scolded. "You aren't going to shoot yourself or anything."

"I was only joking," Radek said. He held the Beretta up, looking at both sides of it. He squinted at the round target on the far wall. "I have passed my certifications, you know."

"I know," Anna said. She snapped the clip into the weapon and joined him at the line. "But this is for fun."

"Oh. Is that what this is?"

He grinned when she giggled. They each took aim at their targets. Hers was in the silhouette of a human. Radek was better than Rodney, and almost all other science team members, at hitting his target whenever recertification came up. He liked to think of himself as gun-shy. His two year's compulsory military service was waived when he was eighteen in favor of his education. He never had to change his mind about it. Some days, he couldn't stomach the irony of his working on energy weapons and railguns with impunity, yet being uncomfortable with a Beretta in his own hands. Still, he was thankful for his miracle of consistently getting better marks than Rodney.

Radek never even went through the Stargate. Never even tried to do any better.

Anna's gun sounded. She lowered her gun and looked at the silhouette. Radek didn't know whether to be proud or concerned that she'd hit the silhouette in the dead center of the torso.

Radek took more careful aim with his weapon and fired. His was a bit off-center, but not too much. "There, you see? I am not so incompetent."

"No one ever said you were," Colonel Sheppard spoke up behind a chuckle.

"But watch this." Anna turned toward the target and fired twice in quick succession. She lowered the weapon and smiled at the silhouette.

Radek was certainly concerned this time. One clean shot to the forehead, another to the paper's supposed center of mass. "That is… impressive."

"Colonel Sheppard is a good teacher," Anna offered. She smiled at him.

"Thank you." Colonel Sheppard looked pleased with the compliment.

Radek didn't doubt he had to be a good teacher, if Anna inherited even a smidgen of his hand-eye coordination. Or lack thereof. On the other hand, he could keep up with Eliška. Still, his dexterity was more suited to fine-tuning circuits.

"Don't you think we had better get to the Puddle Jumper?"

Colonel Sheppard sighed. "Do you know what a buzzkill is, Radek?"

Radek shrugged. It was one obviously colloquial phrase he could almost guess at the meaning. He didn't mean to kill anything. Killing things was among his least favorite activities. Even killing insects or arachnids fell into the realm of unfortunate necessities. Contrary to public opinion, conversation was among those things he wished he didn't kill.

His conversation kill-count was probably very high.

"You're probably right," Colonel Sheppard went on. He looked at Anna and tapped her shoulder. "We'll practice more tomorrow. I should be back tonight."

"Okay." Anna sighed and looked at Radek. "You won't be back for a few weeks now, right?"

"Yes." Radek nodded, feeling immediately guilty. "I will try to come back a few times, though. I promise." Damnit—what was he saying? He didn't really think he would get off of the planet alive while Rodney and the others were still working. There was no way.

He promised, though.

She'd forget. He'd forget, actually, so he hoped that she might forget, too.

What was he talking about? She wouldn't forget.

"Okay," she said. "I hope everything goes well."

He forced a smile for her as he picked up his lab coat. He followed Sheppard down the hall toward the Puddle Jumper.

Sheppard put his hands in his pockets as he walked ahead of Radek. "You might be happy to know that she's a far better shot than Rodney will ever be."

"Is that supposed to be praise?" Radek laughed, and grinned.

"I guess not." Sheppard hesitated before walking into the Jumper Bay. He chuckled. "She's better than you. That's a little bit more a compliment, right?"

Radek sighed and shrugged. Probably not according to Rodney. Probably not according to most people. "It depends on who you ask."

#

"And you sort of… flick your wrist. Like so." Doctor Beckett gave an empty-handed demonstration before picking up his fishing rod. "You've really never been fishing, Anna?"

Anna shook her head and turned the reel a little. "Never." Not that it was among the things she wanted to have done in her life. "I guess this is the year of trying new things." This wasn't exactly the "New thing" she had in mind when she was in another galaxy, though.

"That's the spirit," Doctor Beckett said.

"So you just stand here?" Ronon mumbled. His line was already in the water, a bobber sometimes visible as it hopped over the waves.

"Right." Doctor Beckett leaned around Ronon to look at Teyla, as if he didn't take the fact that Ronon was less than thrilled with this idea. "How are you doing, Teyla?"

"The Athosians do not catch fish in this way…" Teyla said quietly. "It seems rather… inefficient. Though the sea air and calm atmosphere is very nice." She smiled a little at Doctor Beckett.

"Aye, it is." Doctor Beckett took a deep breath and smiled. "But, you know, it's more a sport, this sort of fishing. I guess if we wanted to feed a village like yours we'd use nets."

"Wait." Ronon flicked his wrist, pulling the line a little bit closer to the pier. "A sport? You mean like football?"

Doctor Beckett considered that. "Um. Yes, I suppose. A little like football."

Ronon sighed and flicked his wrist again. "Your planet's weird."

Doctor Beckett chuckled. "I suppose that's true. Alright, Anna." He turned back to her and caught the hook of her line between his fingers. "Are you ready? Remember, flick of the wrist." With that, he drew his arm back and hurled the line out to sea. Line reeled off the spool. Anna soon lost his line, since it didn't have a bobber like Ronon's.

"Alright. Everyone watch out." Anna sidestepped away from the rest of the group to cast her line. She was surprised when her bobber flew far out into the ocean, though considerably less far away than Ronon's or Teyla's.

"Výborně!" * Doctor Beckett exulted.

Anna smiled in spite of herself. He'd said that for everyone. Except it was usually in English.

"Did you see that, Teyla?" Doctor Beckett glanced at Teyla, but not long enough to see her nod obligingly. "Just perfect."

"And now we just wait for some fish to swim into the hooks…" Ronon said.

"Right." Doctor Beckett backed up to one of the chairs he'd brought and sat down.

Anna went to sit next to him, thinking she should have brought a book or something.

"How long does it take?" Ronon sat in his chair. He might have been thinking the same thing that Anna was thinking. But Ronon didn't seem to read…

Doctor Beckett shrugged. "Sometimes hours. It's all patience, Ronon. Patience and skill of knowing where best to put your hook."

Ronon looked out at the waves. "It's the ocean."

Anna giggled a little. The ocean did seem to be the best place to put the hooks.

"It's not just the ocean," Doctor Beckett said. "This pier happens to be where one of the filters is located. Harmless organic material from Atlantis's waste is returned to the ocean in one of the processing facilities right below us. You can't see it, but hundreds of thousands of fish are just below the surface."

Ronon grunted and tugged on his line a little again.

They sat in silence for a little while until Doctor Beckett turned to Anna. "How have you been, Anna? It's been a few days since I've seen you last."

"I'm fine," Anna answered. "I'm finishing up Doctor McKay's scenario… But he won't be back anytime soon. I thought it would be harder because he's supposed to be gone so long."

Doctor Beckett nodded. "Oh, well, they've only been gone a week, right? Since they came back to give the report, I mean."

Anna nodded. A week. A week of a single scenario that had been driving her insane until last night. She'd been in the mess hall with Elizabeth. She'd almost jumped out of her chair in excitement when she'd figured it out. Then she realized she'd figured it out and there was nothing else for her to do for weeks.

Nothing except for whatever fun and excitement Elizabeth had planned.

"Doctor Beckett!" Teyla said suddenly. "I believe I have a fish."

"Oh, good, good." Doctor Beckett hooked his fishing rod into a clip on his chair and went to Teyla's side, giving step-by-step instructions on how to pull back on the rod and then reel in the line. He ran his fingers along the bending rod. "Looks like you've got a big one, Teyla." He grinned in excitement.

Anna had to admit she was pretty excited, too. She'd never seen an alien fish before. Of course, she could count the number of Earth fish she'd seen on one hand. Anna sidestepped along the pier until she was standing right next to Ronon.

Teyla drew up a fish. Like Doctor Beckett guessed, it was big. It shimmered under the sun, slick with seawater. It looked more-or-less like an Earth fish. But there was something a little odd about it. It looked like a trout or a bass, but it had whiskers, blue eyes, and white-pink scales like a pearl.

"That's a nice looking fish. I don't think I've seen one of these caught before. I'm sure the marine biologists will be happy to have this specimen." Doctor Beckett dragged the flopping fish out on the deck.

Anna felt a pang of guilt. She wasn't squeamish about eating meat or anything, but all this fish wanted to do was have breakfast. Sort of like the Wraith. All they wanted to do was eat, right? But they also seemed to enjoy killing.

At the end of the day, it made them have to research big weapons, dangerous ways of powering their shields, and other new and improved ways of killing their enemies. It was to stay alive. But sometimes the things that kept them alive only ended up killing them.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Výborně = very good/great/good job

* * *

 _Next time: I guess that makes me the lucky one, huh?_


	49. Fun and Games

_Previously: During a break from an offworld mission (chapter 43-46), Radek and Anna spend a little time together (chapter 47). But he had to go back again._

* * *

 **Chapter 49. Fun and Games.**

Anna studied the peas on her plate. They were slightly yellow, and not the normal sort of peas from Earth. These were apparently traded from some other planet far away and grown right here on Atlantis. No idea where. But they were yellow… That was the important thing.

She rolled one pea across her plate and then stabbed it with one of the fork's tines.

A tray of food slid onto the table across from her. "You look about as bored as I feel," Sheppard said. He slumped onto the opposite bench and eyed her plate. "Are those as gross as they look, because…?"

"No," Anna sighed. She turned the fork in front of her eyes. "No, they just taste like peas. Sweet peas, with rougher skin."

"Oh. Rough skin," Sheppard contemplated. He scooped up a spoonful of them. "Well, I guess since the boredom hasn't gotten me, the peas probably won't either, huh?" He popped the spoonful in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. He seemed ambivalent about the taste.

Anna smiled a little and slid the pea off her fork with her teeth. "Probably not."

"Yep." He swallowed and nodded, clearing his throat. "So what's new on Atlantis?"

Anna shrugged. "Nothing. What's new at the outpost?"

Sheppard had been gone for several days, checking up on Doctor McKay, Radek, and the rest of the team. Anna was desperately jealous of his traveling offworld so often, but he probably thought that whatever the science team was doing at the outpost was more boring than watching the peas grow. On the other hand, Anna would have taken that over whatever it was she'd been doing for the past few days. It must have been boring because she couldn't even remember what it was.

"Uh, I think they're making some headway," Sheppard answered. He shrugged. "It's hard to tell. McKay yells as much when they're making progress as when they're not." He frowned at that and cut into his chicken. "Any interesting homework?"

Anna shook her head. Nothing interesting, basically, since Radek and everyone else had left last time. She had been eating breakfast alone for what felt like ages now. Lunch, too, except sometimes Elizabeth or Jennifer were available to make it less quiet.

Colonel Sheppard nodded. "Well, I guess that's that, then, huh?" he wondered.

"It must be Thursday," Anna sighed. "I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

Sheppard grinned, but didn't respond. Anna didn't say anything after that, either. They ate in relative silence until Sheppard was about halfway through his meal. He suddenly looked up with a spark in his eyes.

"Wait just a second. I have an idea."

Anna was unconvinced, though she wasn't sure why. She hoped it didn't have anything to do with shooting or knife throwing, since she'd very well had her fill of those things over the last weeks. She still wasn't very good at either, but it was getting boring all the same.

"I picked up a couple of remote-control cars when we went to Earth," Sheppard said. "I thought, you know, racing across the plaza could be pretty cool, but I haven't even had time to break them out of their boxes yet." He fell silent. It was probably more like he couldn't find anyone who wanted to race with him, since he apparently found the spare time to golf off the balcony.

"Remote-control cars," Anna said.

"Yeah. It's cool. We should break them out, give them a try," Sheppard said. He nodded as though he were completely convinced. "What do you say? Bet you couldn't beat me in a race."

Anna smiled. She wasn't exactly one to take a challenge like that seriously, especially if it involved remote control cars. "I'm pretty good at racing games," Anna said, anyway. She picked up a spoonful of peas. "I don't think I'll lose."

"You're on." Sheppard grinned and stood, picking up the rest of his meal. It was mostly unfinished, but he didn't seem to mind.

He picked up the remaining chicken in his hand and dumped the rest. Anna hopped up, shoving one last bite in her mouth before doing the same. Sheppard led the way to the transporter.

"I've got a yellow one and a red one," Sheppard said. "They're pretty much the same in every way, except for the color. I hope you don't mind yellow." He looked at her sideways.

Anna smiled. "I don't mind yellow."

"Good." Sheppard hit the button for the Central Tower quarters. "Nothing too complex at first, probably. We could do something more like drag racing until we get the hang of it and then set up some more complex courses… The question is… where?" Sheppard was quiet for a few seconds while he thought about it. "Gotta find somewhere out of the way, but with enough open space to set up some obstacles…"

Anna grinned. "Well, Doctor McKay's lab is empty."

Sheppard nodded, smiling devilishly. "Now you're talking."

Anna waited for Sheppard to bring the cars out of his quarters. He handed her one box and started opening the other one. Anna paused to read the font, but it didn't make a lot of sense to her without translation. Anna wondered why in the world Sheppard would have bought these cars and… well, things did get pretty boring around here sometimes.

"I wonder if we could make these faster with some improvements…" Anna wondered, pulling the yellow car out of its box.

Sheppard raised his eyebrows at her. "You mean Ancient improvements?"

Anna shrugged. "I'll ask Collins, but I bet that I could do it."

"It could be like, uh… a school project," Sheppard suggested.

By the time they reached Doctor McKay's lab and set up an obstacle course for the cars, Sheppard was starry-eyed with the idea of Ancient batteries and axles spinning near the speed of light. He calmed down a bit in time for them to start racing.

Even though he really didn't need any help moving obstacles for their cars around in the lab, he gamely let Anna think she was helping move the naquadah reactor. He didn't argue when she felt that Doctor Collins' desk was just a little bit too far to the left, either. He insisted on putting the tape on the floor, though.

"Alright," Sheppard said, holding his hand up to stop Anna from saying anything even though she didn't have anything to say. "Just to recap. We take our cars from here, around Collins' desk, hang a right at the naquadah generator, and straight on to the rack of servers."

"And then," Anna filled in, "you go counterclockwise around the power cell before going back under Rodney's desk and then…"

"Finish line," Sheppard finished triumphantly. He set his car down on their line marked by about a foot of electrical tape stuck to the floor. "You want to call it?"

Anna nodded with a smile. She set her car down next to Sheppard's.

"What's 'go' in Czech?" Sheppard asked, spreading his feet and setting his eyes seriously on their track. He looked more like he was getting ready for a boxing match than a remote-control car race.

"To start a race, it's 'teď,'" * Anna answered.

Sheppard's car took off across the line.

He laughed when Anna landed a helpless punch on his shoulder. "Sakra—podvodník!" ** Anna couldn't believe she'd fallen for that, but her car was already right behind Sheppard's and heading around Collins' desk.

"Watch your language, young lady," Sheppard scolded, still chuckling.

"You watch it," Anna answered, carefully maneuvering the car past the naquadah generator. Miraculously, she'd managed to cut off about an inch and a half around Collins' desk and it really made up some space between their cars. She cut close around the naquadah generator and the power cell, too.

Anna knew she wasn't going to win—it was basically impossible with the head start that Colonel Sheppard had. But she gave it her best shot and her car didn't cross the line too long after Sheppard's.

"Alright, again," Anna said, resetting her car. "This time, for real."

"Okay." Sheppard laughed. "Sorry."

"Right," Anna said sarcastically. He didn't sound very sorry. "I hope you're ready."

"I'm ready…" Colonel Sheppard said. He straightened out his red car and looked at Anna. "On your mark. Get set…"

"Teď!" Anna shouted, and her car took off first by just a fraction of a second.

Sheppard's car was close behind, and Anna wasn't sure who was going to win. Just as the cars raced underneath McKay's desk Sheppard said, "I hope you're ready to eat my dust, Anna."

Anna didn't really know what that meant, but shook her head emphatically. "No way."

Anna's yellow car raced over the tape just a second before Sheppard's did. She looked at him with no small amount of pride, because she hadn't cheated… much. "Best two out of three, Colonel Sheppard?"

"You're on." He picked up his car and offered, "By the way, why don't you just call me John."

The way he said it made it seem more like a command than a question, so Anna figured she'd better start calling him that. She pressed her lips together and nodded. "John," she repeated. She carefully toed her car back into place and said, "And you can call me… the winner."

He chuckled. "Not a chance. But you're welcome to try."

Anna held her finger over the trigger, fingers primed to send the car on the track. "Ready?"

Sheppard held his remote control out in front of him like a handgun. "Teď!"

#

"Now, this is what I'm talking about." Collins came into the room with a plastic crate.

Radek glanced up from his trunk. Five sets of clothes, toothbrush, extra blanket. Everything one could have needed for an offworld excursion, given that the expedition provided a futon. Initially, he was disappointed with himself. He hadn't slept on a futon since his undergraduate days. Never in his wildest dreams was he sleeping on a futon, post-doctorate. An alien planet entered his thoughts before futons did.

Radek slapped the trunk shut and stood. "What are you talking about?"

Collins just grinned, walked straight to Radek's futon, and dropped his crate on the quilt. He picked up two glass bottles from the crate and handed one to Radek.

 _Budweiser_.

Radek smiled and took the bottle. It had been a long time since he'd had anything close to a real beer. Even after he'd emptied this bottle, he wouldn't have. But it was close enough. Collins popped off the cap with his utility knife and handed it to Radek.

"Angels are thinking of us right now," Collins said. He waited a few seconds before lifting his bottle to toast. "To McKay."

Radek joined in. "Na zdraví." **

"Na zdraví." Collins chuckled and took a long drink.

Their toast called in other scientists. There was only one set of words they knew in Czech that was undeniably a good thing. It always meant alcohol.

"Collins, you bastard, you were gonna share, right?" one of the Irish scientists asked. Doctor Flanigan embraced stereotypes for the pure joy of it.

"I thought you were the one who asked for it." Collins laughed, wasting no time in distributing the beers among the rest of the scientists. "Come on, don't shove. There's enough for everyone."

Most of them were accounted for, and there were only enough for each of them to have only one. Everyone was probably thinking about that last beer, the one that Rodney was due, but probably wouldn't have. No one seemed to know where he was. He was probably working or something, even though everyone was turning in for the night.

"Hopefully this is a good omen for us," Doctor Optrican sighed. His bottle was already half empty. "I don't think I could handle another straight week of this."

Everyone nodded their agreement, even though none of them believed in omens. Not really. On the other hand, it had been so long that Radek had stopped believing in beer. Kusanagi made some sort of comment about power node three floors down that was giving her a headache. Simpson reassured her that at least she wasn't working with the interface controls. Every time she thought she had those working right, they "blew up in her face." Not literally, Radek had to imagine.

"Well, nothing's blowing up today. It's Saturday, and I think we deserve a break." Doctor Higginson walked to her trunk and pulled out a black box, followed by three DVD cases, and a bunch of things wrapped in wires. "I told Jensen pick up _Halo 2_ for me when they go back to Earth. It came out last month and I'm dying to play it. In the meantime, I guess it's back to the old _Combat Evolved_."

Almost everyone seemed thrilled about that.

Doctor Higginson waved one of the cases above her head as she hooked up the box to her tablet screen. Collins whooped and skidded across the floor to offer his assistance in unwrapping the game. Radek had never seen an Xbox outside of pictures before, but he'd heard a lot about it. Not exactly his preferred platform for gameplaying, and none of these games looked like the kinds he enjoyed playing. On the other hand, the only game he'd played of this sort recently was chess against an AI.

Radek sat on the floor while Higginson unrolled the controllers. Kusanagi knelt next to Radek, picking up one of the red game cases. "I love this game," she whispered, turning it over to look at the back. Radek didn't see what it was, but he couldn't wait to find out what kind of game Kusanagi liked to play.

Higginson apparently finished and switched the console on. "Alright, who's playing?"

A tumble of scientists clamored to join them on the floor. Some people gave way so others could play. Flanigan set up a sort of tournament to give everyone a chance to play as much as to give away McKay's beer to the winner.

It wasn't long before everyone in the room was involved, even those who weren't particularly interested. Radek figured he should finish his beer before his turn came around. Then Rodney walked into the room before the first match could start.

"What are you guys doing?" Rodney asked, heading straight for his bunk. "We have a lot of work to do tomorrow."

"Come on, McKay," Collins said. "Tomorrow's Sunday and we've been at this for weeks now. Give us a break, will you?"

McKay shrugged and looked around, finally spying the screen on the floor. "Oh, is that _Halo_?"

"Sure is," Optrican mumbled, focusing on the screen as the match started. "You want to play? There might be a beer in it for you." He, and everyone else, conveniently left out that it was supposed to be McKay's in the first place.

It didn't matter all that much, since McKay didn't seem enthused. He agreed to play anyway. He was placed in the same bracket as Radek, Kusanagi, and Esposito, and they wouldn't be playing for three matches. Radek sat next to Collins and took his time with his Budweiser.

"How do you play?" Radek asked.

"Somehow I knew you never played _Halo_ before…" Collins mumbled with a half-grin.

Radek hoped that someone here appreciated the irony of their in-game avatars traipsing over alien landscapes, destroying one another in the most creative ways, while, in reality, they watched this sort of thing in terror from the sidelines. Granted, this didn't look real in the slightest… but this was exactly what they didn't want to happen during their work-days. And every last one of them would probably beg to not be armed with the heavy-looking weapons their characters lugged around.

Collins gave a brief run-down of the controls. It looked simple, which probably meant it was more difficult than it seemed. Collins suddenly groaned and a character in bright red armor crumbled to the virtual grass.

Collins leaned forward to look around Doctor Hewlett. "What the hell was that, Robert?"

Robert just grinned and kept playing.

Collins sighed and waited a few moments for his character to reappear.

"Aren't we glad we don't have to wear armor like that…" Radek observed.

Collins chuckled. "Basically a neon sign saying, 'I'm over here, come eat me'? Yeah, I'm glad. What—oh, Hewlett, you are gonna get it. Just wait a second."

Radek watched in amusement, fully aware that he'd have to take his turn in a few minutes. Rodney pulled up a chair and sat down next to Radek. "I played _Doom_ when I was in college," he said. "I was pretty good at it."

Collins laughed. "Yeah, have you played any first person shooters since?" he asked. "Because a lot has changed since 1993."

"Excuse me, I've been busy," Rodney snapped. "I've saved Earth twice since then."

"In 1993, my daughter was three years old…" Radek offered. They were all practically Ancient themselves, now, weren't they? "Let me tell you: that is busy. Saving Earth is nothing."

"It doesn't matter, anyway," Kusanagi said. She sat straighter and arranged her ponytail. "Because I'm going to beat both of you."

"Oh, nice." Rodney waved her bravado away with a scoff. "You might just have to eat those words."

"You'll have no argument from me," Radek offered. "I will stand no chance. But as long as you kill Rodney several times, I'll die happy."

Kusanagi gave him a helpful nod. Radek could see a future of digital murder in her eyes. Perhaps that it was McKay was just a bonus? Radek was probably awful at video games, but this was enough for him. A few hours of downtime before another full day of work tomorrow.

Suddenly, Collins handed him the controller. The green X in its center shimmered. Even though there were only about six buttons to worry about, it managed to look more complex than the 'gate control console in the control room. At least those only had pictures on them.

"Wait, what do these do again?" Radek asked. He pressed each of the buttons.

"Just shut up and play, Radek," Rodney mumbled. He sat on the edge of his chair and waited for the match to begin.

Collins laughed and pointed at each of them. "That one shoots, jump, this one can get you in and out of vehicles, too. This one switches your weapons."

"Oh, my god, what? You have more than one?" Radek watched the screen intensely. He wasn't sure what just happened, but he was pretty sure he just died.

"You have grenades, too."

"You're kidding me. Damn, we need to outfit the offworld teams like this… Where do we carry all this?" Backpacks the size of pickup trucks, maybe.

Collins just laughed.

Radek directed his character over the field toward the nearest little red man running in circles and pointing its gun at the ground.

Obviously, Rodney's character.

Radek managed to kill one of the other players. Judging by Rodney's reaction, Radek had completed his personal objective and could be happily slaughtered by Kusanagi for the rest of the game. That was basically what happened. It didn't seem to matter what Collins shouted about shooting or running or dodging.

Kusanagi went on to the next bracket, one step closer to the last bottle of Budweiser. Rodney never even asked if there was one for him.

After the tournament—Collins walking away with McKay's beer—most of the people went off to bed. Collins stayed up to play something called _Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II_ , and Radek decided he didn't have anything better to do than to finish off his beer and watch. He'd never made sixteen ounces last so long.

"So," Collins mumbled, concentrating on the game, but only enough to apparently not be hacked to death by an orc. Or something.

Radek squinted at the screen. What was that thing?

"You've heard that they're looking to put one of us on an offword team, right?" Collins asked.

Radek almost spilled what remained of his beer. "What? One of us?" He hoped that was some terribly exaggerated bit of trivia dreamed up by the military personnel to make it more difficult for the science team to sleep at night. "You mean you and me?"

"You're on the list. I'm on the list. Kusanagi, maybe. Hewlett, though that's looking more unlikely. Higginson was also on the short list," Collins said.

"I haven't heard anything about this."

Going offworld with a reconnaissance team on a weekly or monthly basis sounded like some sort of torture. He wouldn't be selected. He was almost sure.

"They're keeping it quiet," Collins said. "Until they decide who's going." He grinned and looked at Radek. "And you suddenly turned white as a sheet. Amazing."

"I cannot," Radek said, pausing to find the word he wanted. "I cannot articulate how awful that would be." He wanted something stronger than _awful_ , but nothing came to him in English.

"Traipsing around offworld with Major Lorne's team?" Collins asked. "Yeah. Talk about hell."

"At least it would not be a second scientist to Colonel Sheppard's team," Radek mumbled, quietly enough that he could be assured that Rodney wouldn't hear him.

Collins raised his second beer like a toast. "Hear, hear."

"Well, I don't have anything to worry about," Radek said.

Collins scoffed. "Don't be so sure."

"I can be," Radek said. "Rodney's going to do me a favor for once. He's going to keep on telling everyone how utterly incompetent I am. No one wants someone like me on their team."

"Who knew being on McKay's bad side was a blessing?" Collins wondered.

Radek sighed and drank the last of his beer. "I'm the luckiest man alive."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Teď = now

** Sakra—podvodník! = Damnit—cheater!

** Na zdraví = cheers; "to (your?) health," I think

* * *

 _A/N: Okay, it's been ages since_ Halo: Combat Evolved _. But_ Halo 2 _just wasn't out yet… and it's not like it hasn't been ages since_ Halo 2 _, either. I guess Higginson is the kid that always has the newest toys... and still has her Atari in a box somewhere in the garage. Not based on a real life person at all. No way._

* * *

 _Next time: I can't believe you forgot this._


	50. Sheppard's Miracle

_Previously: Radek is off on a mission (since chapter 43), but that doesn't mean we don't have time for fun._

* * *

 **Chapter 50. Sheppard's Miracle.**

Anna rolled off the bench to the floor. It was a relatively soft landing on the mats beneath.

Teyla giggled. "Anna, you don't have to wait for us."

Anna groaned and put her chin on her hands. She was exhausted, actually. All day spent training. Strength. Agility. Her body felt like a wet noodle. "I wasn't waiting," she lied. She looked at the door out of the gym and grinned. "I was going to roll out of here."

"Come on," Ronon sighed and offered her a hand. "Get up."

"Why?" Anna looked up at his offered hand, took it before he got a chance to answer.

Ronon didn't understand the significance of today. Why should he, anyway? He was Satedan. He didn't understand that Radek should have been here and he wasn't here… There were important things to do, of course. Christmas didn't figure into the list of important things when a Wraith attack on Atlantis was a very real possibility.

Christmas. Radek was going to miss Christmas. He hadn't even sent a message or anything.

He'd forgotten Christmas. Who would forget Christmas?

Radek. Radek would forget Christmas, and sometimes it seemed like she couldn't actually blame him for it. Everyone on Atlantis seemed to forget Christmas, except that Anna brought it up a few weeks ago. Radek had been gone about two weeks then.

So much for subtle hints.

Ronon and Sheppard went to the mainland for a tree. The Athosians helped decorate it. Gifts were wrapped and under the tree. No one was allowed to work tomorrow, Christmas day, whether they were celebrating or not. It was a mandatory holiday for everyone… everyone except the scientists at the Ancient outpost.

"Are you not performing in the Christmas Eve concert tonight?" Teyla asked.

Anna sighed and leaned over, touching her fingers to the floor. She'd never seen her toes so close up before Atlantis. Never been this flexible. Never been this strong, either. Never felt this stupid.

Of course, other high schoolers weren't dealing with geniuses from all over the globe giving her math puzzles.

"Yes…" Anna looked at Teyla. "We shouldn't have trained so long with that in mind. I'm not going to be able to stand long enough for my solo."

Teyla smirked, shaking her head. She stowed her bantos sticks. "Nonsense. Your playing will be marvelous."

"Greensleeves," Ronon mumbled. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Honestly…" she said, looking to Ronon. "I've never thought about it."

She shared a laugh with Teyla. Ronon still seemed concerned about the song title. Either that or he didn't give two figs about it.

They were about to leave the gym when Sheppard suddenly walked in.

Teyla looked pleased, standing to one side to allow him into their circle. She was good at that. Making people feel welcome, even if they walked in on the end of something. "Good afternoon. I trust your day has gone well?"

"Ah, you know." Sheppard shrugged, turning from Ronon to Anna. "How's the violin?" He threw a playful punch on Anna's shoulder with a smirk. "Better than your remote control car-racing skills, I hope."

Anna tried to be serious, but it didn't work very well. "Ready for the concert to be over already. I always hated performing. And I've never played with a group of genius-level hobbyists." She frowned when she realized that sounded rude. She didn't mean to be rude.

"Just be thankful that I'm not breaking out my guitar," John said.

"You have a guitar?" Anna could almost imagine John playing a guitar. Acoustic. Probably mellow versions of hard rock songs, but she couldn't decide if he would sing or not.

Probably not. Anna couldn't imagine he'd put any work into fine tuning his voice. He used that more often for shouting orders.

"I used to," John said. "I haven't played in decades." He suddenly clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "Alright, then. What are the plans for Christmas, everyone?" He looked at those gathered there and finally settled on Anna. "Well. I guess just you. Teyla and Ronon, you guys don't celebrate Christmas."

"I am still unclear on what Christmas is," Teyla said slowly.

"Yeah," Ronon said. "Me, too."

John pointed toward them, before sliding back to Anna. "Yeah. Babies and snowmen and reindeer with red noses."

Anna smirked. She was pretty sure that wasn't what Christmas was about. But it certainly confused the issue for Teyla and Ronon.

"Babies?" Teyla wondered. A second later, she seemed to catch up with the rest of John's sentence. "Red-nosed reindeer?"

"Well, one baby, actually," John finished. "Anna, what about you? What does the Czech Republic do for Christmas?"

Anna shrugged. "Well, we usually celebrate most of Christmas on Christmas Eve with our families." She looked toward the floor. Hers was busy. That was okay. Elizabeth said she would celebrate Christmas with her. "So. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Wait, what?" John interrupted. "Zelenka isn't coming?"

Anna shook her head. "I don't think so. That's okay, though. He's very busy."

"Busy, yeah," John said softly. "But it's Christmas." He looked off into the distance for a moment, before looking back. He slugged her playfully in the shoulder and smiled a second later. "Have a little faith, right? That's what Christmas is about. Faith and, uh, and miracles. See?"

Anna shrugged. She didn't know about Christmas… well, she knew enough to get by with her few religious relatives… Well, Radek only had one sister left and her mother was an only child. Neither of their parents were alive. That left Radek's sister's husband's family. She hardly saw them, only on the rare occasion her mother couldn't be around. But they were religious… and willing to explain any question a six-year-old might have.

"I think Christmas is also about forgiveness," Anna mumbled.

John frowned. "Um. You might have to explain that for me. Later." He glanced around quickly, like he was looking for something or someone. "I have a few things I have to take care of before the concert. See ya in a few hours."

Everyone looked a little shocked as he ran out of the room.

Teyla smiled, that way she smiled when she was trying to save face for someone else. "Well. Should we go? I have a beautiful dress for you, Anna. We were able to find one from a trader on one of the planets we visited."

Anna nodded. "I can't wait."

They started walking out of the gym. Ronon followed at a distance as Teyla told her about the dress's fabric. There was only so much to say about the dress, though, and the conversation fell into a lull.

Ronon spoke up. "So, what is Christmas?"

#

Radek slumped over his computer. Just a few more days of this and they'd be ready for the test firing. He'd lost count of the days a long time ago, but it felt like they'd been here for months. Maybe they had been.

No. He was sure he'd know if it had been months. He hoped so, anyway. Because even though it felt like he'd been here for an eternity, it seemed like only a few days ago he'd shared dinner with Anna on Atlantis.

Shaking that thought out of his head, he turned back to the computer. Rodney and most of the others had disappeared to the bowels of the outpost. Doing one final check on the weapon and the power conduits before they took their colloquial first shot.

Just another bit of proof that they were almost there. The first step toward unlimited, more-or-less clean energy could have been one test away. They could be laughing about this next week. Congratulating Rodney on his assurance of a Nobel.

Radek didn't know why he couldn't shake this anxious weight on his chest.

"Radek."

Radek blinked in confusion before looking up. Colonel Sheppard sounded insistent. Like something terrible happened or Radek had done something terribly wrong. "What is it, Colonel?" he asked.

"Where's McKay? I couldn't raise him on the radio."

Of course. There was nothing that Colonel Sheppard would have wanted to see him for. "I think he's… he's around here somewhere," he finished finally.

"Damn." Sheppard sighed and looked around. He had that look on his face like his brain was working overtime. Like he was trying to decide what to do next. "Okay. Whatever. You're coming with me. McKay will have to deal with it."

"I'm coming with you? Where? Why?" Radek watched as Colonel Sheppard switched off the monitors that Radek had been using. His heart suddenly skipped a beat. "Is Anna okay?"

"Oh, yeah, Anna's fine." With that Sheppard seized Radek's shoulder and started dragging him toward the Jumper. His tone didn't exactly match his words. "At least, she is right now. If you don't come with me, she—"

"Colonel Sheppard." Radek planted his feet and stayed put. "What is going on?"

Colonel Sheppard faced Radek. "Tell me something, Radek. What's today?"

"Today?" Radek shrugged. "December—to je neuvěřitelný, já jsem takovej debil." *

"See, my Czech is getting better, because I'm pretty sure I agree with you," Colonel Sheppard mumbled, leading the way toward the Jumper. "It's December 24th. Did you know that Czechs celebrate the majority of Christmas on December 24th? See, I didn't know that until about an hour ago." He was just being sarcastic now.

Radek didn't see a point in answering. This was one dress-down he deserved.

Sheppard took off again toward the Jumper. "Do you want to know who I learned that from?"

"She is angry, isn't she?" Radek started walking to the Jumper.

"I told her that Christmas is a day of faith and miracles." Colonel Sheppard stomped ahead of Radek into the jumper and slid into the pilot seat. "Getting you away from your work on an Ancient outpost? One miracle, courtesy of John Sheppard. I always wanted to play Santa Claus."

Radek slumped into the chair next to him. That would have been a crisis that he couldn't recover from. What kind of father missed Christmas? He didn't have a gift for her, of course. Gifts were hard to come by in the Pegasus galaxy on a good day. But that wasn't what Christmas was about, was it?

Just a few short hours and he would have missed the point of it entirely.

"Sheppard to McKay," Colonel Sheppard said as he powered up the Jumper. "Last chance, McKay." He paused. Radek assumed that meant that Rodney answered. "Calm down, he's with me." Another pause. "Stop yelling. Tomorrow is Christmas and we're going back to Atlantis. Do you or any of your team want to come?"

There was a very long pause. Sheppard sneered, even though Rodney couldn't see him. "Bah humbug to you, too." Sheppard finished the conversation by closing the Jumper door. Radek hated flying, but it was almost okay if Sheppard was the pilot.

The structure wherein they'd been working for the past weeks was just a small, cream-colored dot below them when Sheppard looked at Radek, a serious crease in his brow. "I told her you'd be there. So you'll be there. Basically, my gift to you. How do you say 'merry Christmas' in Czech?"

Radek sighed and leaned back in his chair. He'd never received a better Christmas present in his life. "Veselé Vánoce, Colonel." **

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* "This is unbelievable, I'm such a moron." According to Stargate episode transcripts.

** Veselé Vánoce = Merry Christmas.

* * *

 _Next time: Christmas in, um, April._


	51. Veselé Vánoce

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _A/N: You may have noticed chapter alternations. You may not have noticed. Basically, I was confusing myself and decided I should update this to match my copy. Many apologies. It won't happen again..._

 _Previously: While offworld (since chapter 43), Radek might have forgotten the most important day of the year. Anna saw this coming. But it's okay. Sheppard's got his back. (Doesn't Sheppard just seem the type to save Christmas…?) Anyway, maybe repairing some mistakes made (such as in chapter 40)._

* * *

 **Chapter 51. Veselé Vánoce.**

Radek used to take Eliška to the Christmas Market in Prague to see the large Christmas tree there. The last time they did that was when Anna was three, so she probably wouldn't remember it. The tree in Atlantis's mess hall was no comparison for size or beauty, of course. In fact, it was rather small. But it was its own brand of beautiful.

"Veselé Vánoce." *

Radek spun when he heard Doctor Weir's voice, smiling. "Merry Christmas." He was unprepared for what he saw.

Elizabeth looked positively stunning in green, and it was a gorgeous dress besides. Obviously Athosian. He wasn't sure if it was Elizabeth, but he suddenly smelled vanilla in a pine forest. It wasn't her usual rose scent. He swore he only noticed it because it was a bright addition to the pervasive smell of rubbing alcohol and chocolate hanging in Rodney's wake in the labs. He'd gotten used to it, now…

"I, um," he breathed. A moment later, his breath caught up with him. "I think I'm underdressed."

"Oh, no, not everyone is dressing up," Doctor Weir assured him. She stood beside him. "We're just having a small concert. It was an excuse."

He glanced around for Anna, anything to change the subject. He didn't see her. "It's a nice tree."

"Sheppard and Ronon brought it from the mainland. Teyla got together decorations and everyone who cared to celebrate Christmas helped to decorate it. The Athosians seemed to enjoy that tradition very much."

Radek supposed that Anna might have helped. There was a surprising number of gifts all the way around the tree, wrapped in plain paper and tied with ribbons. As he looked closer, he saw there were perhaps hundreds of tiny gifts.

"And I understand that the majority of gift giving for a Czech family is done on Christmas Eve." Elizabeth turned to look at Radek and handed him two small gifts.

Radek looked at the tiny packages. They were each marked with tags, one for Anna and one for him. "Elizabeth, you didn't have to…"

"I didn't," she interrupted. "Gifts from home. The SGC reached out to a couple of charities that give gifts to people whose jobs take them far away from home. We certainly qualify. Your sister sent something, too, I think, but Anna didn't want to go digging. Most people are opening the gifts tomorrow."

"I'll have to send a message to thank her," Radek said. He looked up from the gifts for just a moment. He shouldn't have. When Elizabeth smiled, her eyes sparkled. He found himself smiling unwillingly. "Do you know where Anna is?"

Doctor Weir shook her head as she looked around. "She should have been here by now, though…" She sighed and whispered, "She didn't think that you were coming, so she asked me to spend Christmas Eve with her. She made some sort of dumplings…"

Radek looked down, nodded. He guessed he deserved that.

"She said her mother used to make them a special way at Christmas." Doctor Weir rose slightly on her toes, the way she did when she was unsure how to proceed. "But since you're here, I won't join you."

"No. That's fine," he said, fiddling with the gifts. "Probably better you than me, you know?"

He hadn't really meant that, but she sighed anyway, looking sympathetic.

"Radek?"

Anna's ivory dress shimmered in the lights on the tree. She gripped the neck of her violin in one gloved hand. She didn't look particularly happy to see him. More confused than anything.

For a moment, he didn't know what to say. Thank goodness for holiday greetings. "Veselé Vánoce, miláčku. Vypadáš pěkně." **

She smiled briefly in response, checking her dress for wrinkles as she walked toward them. "I thought you weren't coming." She stood between him and Doctor Weir, smoothing her dress.

"Here I am," Radek said, trying to keep light-hearted. "I couldn't possibly miss Christmas."

Anna seemed to consider that, and smiled a little. "No, I guess not." She leaned to one side, he guessed, to see around him. "I have a solo in Greensleeves."

"I can't wait." Doctor Weir smiled first at Anna, then at Radek.

Colonel Sheppard suddenly stepped up beside Elizabeth. He wasn't dressed in anything formal, nor was he dressed in his usual Atlantis uniform. Radek couldn't recall having ever seen him in a t-shirt and jeans.

"Well, aren't you two lovely ladies?" he said with a smile at both of them. He then looked pointedly at Anna. "I told you Christmas was a season for miracles."

"Yes, miracles." Anna smiled ever so slightly at Radek. "I should go get ready."

Without so much as a goodbye, she scampered away to the open space before the Christmas tree and began tuning her violin. Doctor Brown joined with her flute, and a few others that Radek knew from around Atlantis joined with some other instruments. It would never pass as a legitimate orchestra, but it was a nice idea anyway.

"Shall we sit?" Doctor Weir asked, motioning toward rows of seats where the tables used to be.

Sheppard slid in first, sitting near the end of the row. Elizabeth sat next to him, followed by Radek. A few moments later, Ronon joined by squeezing past all of them to sit at the end of the row next to Colonel Sheppard. No one complained at the discourtesy.

"What's this about again?" Ronon asked after a few seconds of listening to the instruments call notes back and forth.

"It's a holiday that many, many cultures celebrate on Earth," Doctor Weir said. "In fact, I think most of the nations represented here on Atlantis celebrate it in one form or another."

"What's with the tree?" Ronon leaned back and looked at the tree from top to bottom.

Radek took a second look, too. It was covered in ribbon and tinsel. It was topped with an angel and decorated with orbs and light bulbs. Less familiar were the Athosian decorations. Radek had to admit he had no idea what the tree was about.

"I think it was an old Celtic thing? Or maybe a German thing…" Sheppard said.

Ronon conveniently skipped over the Celtic and/or German thing. Maybe he got the feeling the answer to any question was more complicated than what he wanted to commit to at the moment. "And what does that have to do with the holiday?"

"I don't know. It looks nice?" Sheppard glared at Ronon for half a moment before turning his eyes back on the musicians.

No wonder Ronon didn't talk much.

Radek turned back to the tree, though. He would have said something similar. And it did look nice. He probably would have said everything he knew about the tree, relevant or not. He wondered what sort of pine tree this was. The first Pegasus Christmas tree.

"May I have everyone's attention?" Doctor Brown spoke up after the instruments quieted down. Radek wondered if Rodney should have been here. "Thank you all for coming. Most of you know me, Doctor Katie Brown. I work in the botany department. Doctor Lewis Adams, from medical. Sergeants Brian Sobelowski and Elise Jung. Anna Zelenková." She made a short bow. "Thank you."

Quiet applause came up from the crowd until the musicians raised their instruments. Radek recognized virtually all the songs as traditional carols and other seasonal tunes. On the whole, it wasn't awful, but every one of their musicians overtly spent their time on other pursuits. Even Anna.

The Atlantis mess was no Carnegie Hall. But that didn't mean it wasn't enjoyable.

Radek recognized most of the traditional carols, but there were quite a few he didn't recognize. He paid special attention to the solo during Greensleeves, wondering if it was wrong of him to think that Anna's playing was just a bit better than everyone else's.

Probably not wrong. Just incorrect.

The concert ended with a rousing rendition of "Joy to the World" and a round of applause.

"She played very well," Doctor Weir said over their clapping. "She's been practicing all week."

He couldn't believe he almost missed it. It wasn't as if he had the excuse of another galaxy these days. Of course, he was on another planet. Most people would take that as a reasonable excuse.

The applause died away and the crowd went to go talk to the musicians. Radek stayed back. Anna would come for him when she was ready. Radek sidestepped around the chairs to Colonel Sheppard. He and Ronon talked about the gift-exchanging part of Christmas until Radek arrived on the scene.

They both looked at him like he was some foreign object.

"I wanted to make sure to thank you, Colonel," Radek said.

"Oh. You know, I'm thinking of renaming Jumper 3, 'Santa's Sled.' What do you think?"

Radek thought that Sheppard could probably get away with calling any of them anything he wanted. He got away with naming the whole batch of them _puddle jumpers_ , and no one complained even though Radek couldn't think of a stranger name for them.

Sheppard grinned when Radek didn't have an answer, and saved him from having to. "It's Christmas, and the Stargate is open three-hundred sixty-five days a year."

"You don't know how many concerts I missed," Radek mumbled. He looked over to Anna. She was talking to one of the computer scientists, pantomiming playing her violin for her. She looked… well, actually happy.

If only Christmas could last forever.

"All the more important you don't miss this one."

Colonel Sheppard understood. More than Rodney, or probably almost anyone. Probably including Radek. He sometimes envied Sheppard's undeniable intellect that sometimes told Rodney what was what… as well as his easy manner around people.

"Anna told me that she thought Christmas was about forgiveness, so…" Sheppard shrugged. "Maybe she'll forget about all those other ones."

He smirked, unsure where the connection was. "Christmas is a day for miracles. Right."

Sheppard smiled suddenly when Anna approached. "Hey, you sounded great."

"Thank you." Anna's face was flushed, her smile broad. "It's been a long time since I performed like that. Playing for the Athosians is so much easier. Sometimes I think they aren't listening because they're too busy dancing…"

Sheppard shrugged. "Well, under the scrutiny of people who know close to nothing about music, yours stands up. Veselé Vánoce, Anna, Radek." He started to walk away.

"Uh…" Ronon looked after Sheppard. "Merry Christmas." He said it like a question, probably wondering what in the world Sheppard had just said to them.

"Merry Christmas, Ronon," Anna said back. She was smiling, but Radek didn't know at what, so he decided to leave it. Colonel Sheppard said she'd grow out of her girlish crush on Ronon. For the moment, he was content to believe that. But what he wouldn't give to get her off Atlantis for a few days. Maybe she'd forget about it faster that way.

" _You played beautifully,_ miláčku."

" _Thank you_ ," she said. " _I didn't think you'd have time for Christmas this year."_ She looked a little ashamed. " _Or that you'd remember. Sorry_."

Of course, she was right. He didn't remember. He should have corrected her. But he didn't.

" _I'm sorry I don't have a present for you_ ," he said, handing her the small package from Elizabeth.

" _I don't have a present for you, either_ ," Anna said.

They started walking back to their quarters. It was Christmas… he really should give her something special, shouldn't he? Something she really wanted…

" _I made dumplings_ ," she said. " _Mom's recipe."_

" _It's been years…_ " He didn't want to say it had been years since he celebrated Christmas. It was, but that was beside the point. There didn't really seem to be a reason to celebrate, when there was no one to celebrate with. Years of Christmases came and went. The only thing to mark their passing was the letters he sent to Anna, the infrequent gifts, because he had no idea what to get a ten-year-old girl. A twelve-year-old. Thirteen.

Now he had no idea what to get a fifteen-year-old. Nothing ever changed.

" _I had a thought_ ," he said, before thinking things through completely. " _I'll be going back to the outpost on the day after Christmas…_ "

Anna interrupted, giving him just enough time to second-guess his upcoming offer. " _I know. It's okay; you're very busy_."

" _Yes, that's true. But the outpost is very safe…_ " For the most part. Never mind they were dealing with a huge weapon and even bigger energy yields. But he and Rodney were both on the job. Things weren't going to go too terribly. Especially if she stayed right next to him the whole time… " _Would you like to come? We will be running a test. It should be interesting to watch_."

He watched her eyes light up. He wasn't going to regret this, was he?

" _Can I? I would love to see the outpost. Is it really Ancient?"_

He nodded. "I _t is_." He was going to regret this. On the other hand, no man on his deathbed wished he'd spent more time at the office. Wasn't that the saying? He had to spend time at the office. The really miraculous thing was that his daughter actually wanted to be there, too. He should take advantage of that. Few were so lucky.

Plenty were unfortunate enough to have missed Christmas entirely. " _Would that be a sufficient Christmas gift?"_

Anna laughed. " _It would be wonderful! Thank you!"_

" _Good_." He paused outside their door. Anna waved it open. " _Merry Christmas, then_."

" _Merry Christmas_ ," Anna said back. She trotted into the room. She'd been busy, apparently having gotten food from the hunters on the mainland. True to her word, dumplings were involved. " _Elizabeth will be here any minute."_

Radek had almost forgotten, but the reminder gave him plenty of time to contemplate his anxiety. Of course, he wanted her to share Christmas dinner with them. But, then again, of course, he didn't. " _Oh, yes,"_ he managed. "G _ood. Is there enough for all three of us_?"

Anna looked at the spread before them. " _I think so."_

It wouldn't be a feast, for sure. But that wasn't what Christmas was about.

#

Radek changed into what Anna assumed was his most formal attire. Or, at least, something close. A long sleeve white shirt, navy tie. He'd looked completely out of place standing in the doorway to his room.

" _What do you think?_ " he'd asked.

He didn't take it very well when Anna just giggled and nodded. It didn't matter because the door rang a second later. Anna skipped across the room, the first to the door. Of course, it didn't seem like Radek was taking it as any kind of race. He went back to the table they'd set together with three places. White plates that Anna had borrowed from the mess hall. They were plastic, but what did she want out of Christmas Eve in another galaxy?

"Veselé Vánoce," Elizabeth said when the door opened. "Thank you for inviting me, Anna."

Anna stepped aside so Elizabeth could come in. "Thank you for offering to spend Christmas Eve with me." Because, well, it struck Anna as slightly out-of-character for Radek to be here in the first place. But today was the day for out-of-character, because he was wearing a suit and tie. It was more like a funeral than Christmas. But she and Elizabeth were dressed formally, too, so it might have been strange for him to be dressed so differently.

"Merry Christmas, Doctor Weir." Radek motioned to their small table.

Three place settings somehow managed to squeeze into the tiny space. Anna smiled and pointed toward the long counter. There were fruits and a salad, compliments of Doctor Brown in botany. Anna only had to ask nicely and Doctor Brown seemed pleased to accommodate. The little Pegasus chicken wouldn't give any leftovers, and Anna hadn't actually cooked it herself. Lots of Atlantis team members seemed to have planned on their own private celebrations of the holiday, and so the kitchen made dozens of birds available to those who would be eating in their quarters. Anna could only imagine the celebration taking place for everyone else in the mess hall.

Radek produced a few bottles, looking at them sideways before offering one to Elizabeth. "I apologize; I don't have anything nicer."

"Beer on Christmas Eve." Elizabeth grinned as she took the bottle with an ironically impressed nod. "No better way to celebrate."

Anna had never seen Radek so embarrassed. Okay, maybe once before, but this was a decidedly different kind of embarrassment than Doctor McKay calling him names in front of everyone on Atlantis. She decided to jump in to save him. "The food will get cold."

She only just realized how awkwardly the evening was about to go. It would have been fine were it only Anna and Elizabeth. It even might have gone alright if it were Anna and Radek. But Anna and Radek and Elizabeth? This was a disaster waiting to happen…

Anna saw to it that everyone served up healthy portions of the meal before sitting down. Radek must have been following some really arcane etiquette because he stayed standing until Anna was seated and Elizabeth sat in the chair across from him.

"How has the work been going offworld?" Elizabeth asked two bites in.

Anna offered silent thanks for Elizabeth thinking of something to say, and about the one thing Radek could probably talk for hours about. She looked to Radek for his answer, taking a bite of a gelatinous fruit pie.

"Oh, you don't want to hear about that," Radek said with a chuckle. "It's really very boring."

 _What else do you expect to talk about?_ Anna couldn't help but wonder. She offered a smile, anyway, and said, "Collins said there were skeletons." Not appropriate dinner conversation, and certainly not for Christmas Eve, but she couldn't think of a better way to goad him into talking about the boring stuff.

"Um, no," Radek said quickly with a shake of his head. He coughed a little, and Elizabeth giggled. "No, those were removed a long time ago. They're all here now, actually." He motioned with his fork in the general direction of the infirmary in the Central Tower. He smiled at Anna. A smile that said, _I'm onto you_. "I'm sure Doctor Beckett would love to show them to you if you asked."

"Maybe I will." Anna took a thoughtful bite of chicken and glared.

Radek didn't notice. "But, really, there isn't a lot to tell. We're only setting up for our first test fire. I suspect will know something more concrete this time next week." He shrugged a little, and then looked at Elizabeth. "Has anything of interest happened on Atlantis, Doctor Weir?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Not so much. Teyla has been hard at work, negotiating some important trade deals for the Athosians." She nodded a little as though remembering something. "Ronon found out that he wasn't the only survivor from Sateda."

The sudden rise to Anna's eyebrows was involuntary. "He isn't?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, but I'm not sure how many more there are or if he'll be joining them or staying with us." She sighed and shrugged. "I can only say that it didn't seem to go well, so I don't suppose he'll be leaving. You can never tell with Ronon, though. Or, well, I can never tell."

Anna tried to absorb that with as little emotion as possible. Ronon, leaving? That would be… well, she didn't know what it would be. "He didn't say anything about it."

"I don't imagine he would. He's a very private person."

Radek suddenly coughed and changed the subject. "The Christmas concert was a wonderful idea."

"Wasn't it?" Elizabeth's eyes lit up. "I thought it was a wonderful break for everyone. You should have seen the fun we had decorating the tree."

Anna smiled as Elizabeth started telling the story of the Athosians going all-out when they received the request for tree decorations. They apparently couldn't wait to understand what sort of celebrations and social rituals the Humans from Earth engaged in. Intrigued to find out that it involved a tree. People from Earth didn't seem to be interested in anything natural, like trees.

"I hope they weren't upset about the branches I broke," Anna mumbled when Elizabeth finished her story.

"Oh, no," Elizabeth assured her. "I think they were more offended by Cadman's idea that we paint them."

"She didn't know," Anna muttered.

"Wait, offended about paint?" Radek interrupted. "What did she want to paint on them?"

Elizabeth giggled. "Nothing obscene. Just paint. But paint is deceptive, you know," she said conspiratorially.

"Deceptive." Radek raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes. Hiding an object's true nature? That's deception."

"I don't know if they've found out about makeup yet," Anna said with a playful grin.

Radek chuckled, and Elizabeth seemed to find it funny, too. Anna couldn't contain her smile if she tried. This was the strangest Christmas Eve ever, but it was alright. It was Pegasus. It was different. A little awkward, maybe. Despite that, it felt normal. Somehow, it just felt _right_.

#

"Thank you for coming, Elizabeth," Anna said.

Anna stood next to the door while Elizabeth slid into her jacket. She'd changed from her formal dress into a casual shirt and jeans.

"Thank you for inviting me," Elizabeth said. She looked from Anna to Radek. "I hope I wasn't intruding."

"Of course not," Radek said. Beyond his reckoning, he'd somehow enjoyed himself. They talked more about the day-to-day operations of Atlantis than anything else, though discussion of Christmas traditions and stories of past Christmases were certainly brought up. A welcome change from his usual train of thought, since that usually ended up exploding or being bombarded by Wraith cruisers in orbit somewhere along the line.

"Good. Well, good night." Elizabeth turned to the door to leave. Paused. Turned back. "You will be here tomorrow, won't you, Doctor Zelenka?"

"Yes. Colonel Sheppard isn't going back until the day after. He's my ride." He felt a little sheepish for saying it that way, but it was true. Hard to get around on a Puddle Jumper he couldn't fly. Though he would have loved to.

"Good," Doctor Weir said with a smile. "We're having a celebration with some Athosians who wanted to participate in the festivities. Maybe you can teach us some Czech carols?"

"I can," Anna volunteered. "I'll bring my violin."

"And I… will not sing. It would be better for everyone." Radek couldn't remember the last time he sang anything at all. Maybe it was when Anna was born. Babies didn't care how well lullabies were sung.

"I should get to bed, then," Anna said. "Dobrou noc." ***

"Good night, Anna." Doctor Weir made for the door.

Radek opened it for her. "I'll walk you to the transporter." Why did he say that?

Still, she smiled and nodded. At least it wasn't too horrible a mistake to offer.

The door slid shut behind them. "Thank you. Again. For being there for Anna. It's very… it's very kind of you." That was what he wanted to say, but now he had nothing else and it was a long way to the transporter.

"Of course," Doctor Weir said. "I hope that things quiet down around here sometime soon. It's been one pressing discovery after another for the science team, hasn't it?"

"Yes." It was true, it seemed like there was plenty of down-time last year. There was down-time. But this time Radek was sick for it. "I think that the Ancient machine will be up and running within the week. Perhaps after we get it working, there will be time."

"Time. Seems like there's never time." She sighed happily, though, like the words she just said were not at all depressing. They were depressing to him. Anyway, the transporter was now a few steps away.

"Good night, Doctor Weir. Anna and I will probably see you tomorrow." He started to walk back to his quarters.

"Um, Radek, wait."

He spun back. "Did you forget something?" Such as his last name?

"No—I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize," he repeated, looking straight at her. It was a mistake. Didn't they say, the eyes are the window to the soul? He could feel her peering into his soul like not even a pane of glass protected it. The strange thing was… he didn't really mind. "There is nothing to apologize for." Referring to his unfortunate misstep of asking her to lunch, no doubt.

"I think that—"

"I was not myself." Radek sighed.

Doctor Weir didn't look convinced, but she also looked relieved. "Alright, then," she said. She hesitated for a just a moment. Maybe they were both trying to figure out what to say next. "Good."

"Yes." Radek nodded. It should have been good, so he started to go back to the room.

But she started talking again. "I just wanted to be sure you understand."

Radek sighed and turned back. "Understand what?" More like, what was there to understand. Radek was not so naïve to think she was about to offer an excuse. He'd given her a perfectly good one. Why insult him by continuing the charade that she found anything about him even remotely desirable?

"Understand why it's important to keep my distance," Doctor Weir said. "I make it a point to not have relationships with the people who work for me."

Radek nodded slowly, even though that seemed massively unfair. Mostly to her. There was no reason why she should be alone. She was intelligent. She was beautiful. She was kind. At least, she was probably trying to be.

"It would… split my focus," Doctor Weir offered.

"You think I don't know that?"

That was a little more forward that he intended. He glanced at her to make sure this wasn't a terrible misstep, but she looked more confused than angry. Some of both, but more confused.

Radek took a deep breath. "My focus is more divided than anyone else's on Atlantis. But I still do my job. I am, perhaps, more focused on my work than I should be. But aren't some things worth the distraction?"

Doctor Weir tried to hide a smile, but it devolved into a half-smirk. "I didn't know you were such a romantic."

"I'm not." Radek felt himself blushing. "But, listen, Elizabeth…" He did it again. Couldn't help but make a fool of himself around her, could he? "I think you deserve to be happy. That's all." He didn't know how to finish that.

Elizabeth said absolutely nothing. Didn't help him much.

"Merry Christmas," he finished.

She nodded a little bit and stepped into the transporter. "Merry Christmas…"

He was glad Anna invited Elizabeth to share Christmas with them. She'd seemed happy.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Veselé Vánoce = Merry Christmas.

** Vypadáš pěkně. = You look pretty.

*** Dobrou noc = good night

* * *

 _Next time: Ohhhh._ That _Collins._


	52. Před Pádem

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Even though Radek's been busy offworld (since chapter 43), Sheppard made sure he came back for Christmas. Radek's feeling guilty he hasn't seen Anna in a long time, so she gets to come check out the planet when he goes back. This can't go wrong…_

* * *

 **Chapter 52. Před Pádem.**

" _And you'll be very quiet. Stay next to Colonel Sheppard."_ Radek sighed, unable to figure why he was doing this.

Oh, right. He hadn't seen her in weeks. Doctor Heightmeyer knew how to lay on the guilt, even if he hadn't seen her for weeks, either. Whatever the case, Radek already knew, acutely, the depths of his faults as a father. Any outside comments on the matter was basically adding insult to injury.

" _Yes, yes, of course. I won't speak unless spoken to, I might not even be seen and most definitely not heard_."

Anna's sarcasm was just the icing on the layered cake of shame he'd made for himself. If it hadn't been such a stilted comparison, he would have congratulated himself.

Radek sighed. " _You know that's not what I mean."_

Anna waved that away. She smiled a little, but Radek couldn't tell if it was sarcastic, too. " _I know, I know. This is the test-firing of a very powerful weapon. I won't get in the way."_

Things didn't usually blow up in their faces, but when they did, there was no question. It was scattered in a trillion pieces across half the galaxy. Besides, Rodney's attitude this time wasn't giving Radek pleasant dreams.

Just because the Ancients made mistakes didn't mean Rodney would?

The Ancients aren't perfect, of course. They're all dead.

Only one saying came to mind for Radek in regards to all this… _Pride comes before a fall_. He wasn't even religious, but the Good Book was certainly right on this one. Giving that section a thorough and thoughtful read might do Rodney some serious good.

Skipping all the painful lessons of parenthood and skipping right to Anna's teenage years was what Radek considered a superfluous message in humility for him. The person who really needed a teenager around was Rodney.

No. Radek wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even a bratty teenager.

Besides, Anna was not bratty. Better to count his blessings.

" _Yes, it's dangerous_ ," he said quietly. " _Or, it could be. It won't be. But we will need to concentrate."_ He led the way to the Puddle Jumper where Colonel Sheppard waited with the rest of the team.

Sheppard nodded at him when he and Anna sat on the bench inside.

"Congratulations," Sheppard said to Anna with a grin. "You've convinced him to let you come."

"She didn't convince me," Radek muttered. "I'm still sure this is a horrible idea."

Anna looked at him, aghast and hurt. What had he said wrong this time? "It wasn't my idea!"

"I didn't say it was," Radek answered. "It was my idea. I doubt my own ideas."

"More of us could use that quality…" Sheppard muttered, probably thinking of the enthusiastic communication they'd shared with Rodney that morning.

They would run the test when Radek returned, and it would work like a charm. Something like that. Rodney wasn't even considering the possibility that he'd made a mistake or looked right past a glaring concern staring them right in the face. Radek took his normal seat behind Sheppard and motioned for Anna to take the co-pilot's chair. Better that she was there. She'd find it more interesting, and he wouldn't obsessively check every reading and monitor within reach.

In all likelihood, this test was going to be a supreme failure. Not that it would blow up; no, odds of that were incredibly low.

Odds that the results would be spectacularly anti-climactic? That Rodney would be in a sour mood for the next week while they looked for their mistakes and look-pasts? And Rodney was bound to blame everything on his team. On Radek. Not on Rodney, not for going too fast, not for setting his sights so high that not even the Ancients could reach.

Radek let a sigh escape. "Před setřením bývá pýcha, a před pádem pozdvižení ducha." *

Anna gave him a strange look, well deserved. Everyone else would probably think Radek was waxing eloquent on Rodney's many shortcomings and the questionable legitimacy of his parents' marriage.

He wasn't. Even if Rodney might have needed it, Radek wasn't one for proselytizing. It would have been hypocritical of him to say anything more. He wasn't as pure as the driven snow.

But he wasn't as arrogant as Rodney, either. He'd take what he could get.

#

Anna's first hint that something could go wrong today was Radek's unusually jumpy demeanor. He struck her as perpetually jumpy in comparison with Doctors McKay and Collins, but not like this. Even Collins seemed a little on edge, and he was usually so laid back.

But it was a big test. It was perfectly safe. Doctor McKay had assured everyone.

It struck Anna then that was why they were nervous. What was McKay going to do when it didn't work? Because, from what Anna could gather, everyone in the room _except_ for Doctor McKay seemed to think that this was going to be a massive failure.

Anna stood off to one side next to John while Radek and the others finished up the last bit of preparations. Anxieties tightened the closer they got, but over it was a light and airy excitement. Anna decided to hold on to that. No one, no one but John and Radek, anyway, seemed to be overly worried.

"What do you think?" John asked in a low whisper. Maybe he didn't want to interrupt the scientists calling to each other a few feet away.

"It's exciting," Anna said, adjusting her flak jacket. She didn't know why they were both wearing this getup, but none of the scientists were. It wouldn't protect them if it exploded.

"Exciting, yeah." John didn't sound too excited. "Know what's going on here?"

"A little," Anna said. She started to explain what Project Arcturus was for: extracting vacuum energy from their universe, as opposed to what some of the scientists called a "pocket universe" in the ZPM. "I wonder if the weapon was even the point of this at all. Or if it was just something they had to build to act as a sort of failsafe."

John pinched his lips together. "How much have you talked to Radek about this?"

"None," Anna said. She smiled when he raised his eyebrows as though impressed. That was when she realized that, while she and Radek hadn't talked much while he was back, the times they had spoken had been almost exclusively on the topic of Project Arcturus. "Maybe a little."

John nodded like that explained everything.

The scientists all seemed to take their places like they were putting on a staged play. Collins and Radek stood side-by-side at a pair of monitors spitting out power readings. Anna could just barely see half of each of their screens, but that was it. Not enough to tell if anything interesting was happening. The only indication that something was happening was when Doctor McKay announced they were initiating the test sequence.

Collins glanced around the room, his eyes suddenly resting on Anna. "Come here." He waved Anna over to his computer screen. She squeezed between Collins and Radek and looked at his screen.

Radek watched Anna for half a moment before looking at his screen monitoring the power fluctuations of the machine. She didn't have to see the look on his face to tell he was confused and stressed. He didn't want her to be here…

"Radek," Doctor McKay said. "Talk to me."

"I'm picking up some minor power fluctuations," Radek answered. "Chamber temperature's holding steady…" And then he paused. Hissed. "There it goes again."

Collins leaned over to look.

"Everything okay?" John asked.

"Everything's fine," Doctor McKay snapped. "The containment bubble was designed to automatically compensate for any sudden changes in energy output."

" _This never happened in the simulations_ ," Anna whispered. The simulations were, for lack of a better word, promising. Radek still seemed on edge. Maybe Doctor McKay was right. He was too skittish for this job.

"Excuse me?" Doctor McKay asked.

"It never happened in the simulations," Radek repeated, giving her a glare.

She wasn't about to open her mouth again.

"Maybe we should abort," John said.

Anna wouldn't have pegged John as the skittish sort, either… She turned her back to the desk. John was watching Doctor McKay's screens intently, like he knew what was on there. Doctor McKay was checking every readout screen he had access to and made adjustments as he went.

"I said it's fine," Doctor McKay said. "Collins, see if you can boost more power to the field manually."

"You got it."

Collins brushed past Anna as he put on his goggles. A moment later he was in the long, white hallway, door shut behind him.

Doctor McKay looked at John, a smug grin on his face.

"Prepare for test firing on my mark."

Before Doctor McKay could say anything about a mark, alarms blared and lights flashed. Radek slid over to Collins' screen, setting her aside like a rolling cart. "Levels just spiked into the red." The screen flashed in his face. _Overload_.

"What?" Doctor McKay asked.

"Shut it down," John ordered.

Anna slowly crossed the floor to Doctor McKay's station. Radek and Doctor McKay yelled frantically at one another, John interjecting with confused orders. It wasn't working. She paused halfway between them, her heart beating to the rhythm of the alarms.

"We should evacuate," John said.

Doctor McKay shook his head. "Just give me a few seconds."

The next time John spoke, it was more a growl. "We may not have that time."

"Wait, wait, wait." Radek interrupted. Anna glanced back at him. "It's stabilizing." He waited for his computer screen to stop moving. All the lights shut off, leaving only their Earth-made lights powered from their backups.

Radek looked up. "Generator is offline."

"What the hell just happened?" John demanded.

"Obviously there was a surge of some kind." Doctor McKay looked at all of his screens and then gestured vaguely behind him. "Look, Collin—Collins!"

Doctor McKay dashed for the door to the access tube, John and Radek right behind him. Anna ran up next to Doctor McKay as he threw open the door.

She choked on the breath she'd been taking. Smoke curled up from his uniform, his skin red and blistered, rigid and… dead. Her stomach flipped and, for a moment, she was afraid she was going to lose it. Lose what, she wasn't precisely sure. She put her hand to her mouth and sucked in a breath.

"That's it," John muttered. "We're going back to Atlantis."

Doctor McKay turned in a daze. "Yes. Yes," he said. He went to his computer.

Anna wanted to turn away, but she couldn't. Not until Radek took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. " _Are you okay?"_ he asked. " _Anna?"_

It was a stupid question to ask. It was even more stupid to try to answer. She shut her eyes and shook her head, hand still over her mouth. He seemed to not know what to do. What was there to do? Collins was dead.

Before anyone could say or do much else, Anna dashed for the jumper.

#

Radek watched her go. He wasn't sure if he should follow her but… he couldn't.

Stepping back from the gaping door to the access tube, he put his fingers through his hair.

" _Oh, god_ ," he mumbled helplessly.

"Zelenka," Rodney said from somewhere. "Help me with this; there's work to do."

Their friend was dead and he wanted to just get back to work?

Radek's friend. McKay didn't have any friends.

He shoved aside whatever he might have thought to feel and looked toward Rodney standing at his station.

After making a quick check with his life signs detector, Sheppard ran to get the others to pile them all in the Puddle Jumper to leave. Higginson bustled around, her shock putting her in a silent daze. Robert didn't even move in the corner, completely baffled. McKay's brow was knit in anger and confusion, the buttons on the flat screen flashing as he pressed them in quick sequence.

"But shouldn't we—?"

"We'll send a team with radiation suits to take care of it. We need to shut this down."

"Radiation?" Radek repeated before catching up. He scoffed in disbelief. "It?"

"Yes, yes, radiation," Rodney muttered, waving his hand toward Radek. "Shut the door."

Radek did as he was told with a last careful look down the white hallway. Rodney was right: they didn't know exactly what had killed Collins. They shouldn't have opened the door, but the radiation monitors on the computers outside the door didn't read anything dangerous. Still, it paid to be careful.

Careful. What happened? Weren't they careful? It wasn't the best idea to send anyone into the access tube during the test, but who would have known? No one could know; no one would guess.

Reality managed to strangle away his rationalizations and explaining and the very ability to breathe.

Collins was dead.

Radek shut down the two computers he'd been looking at earlier. The screen Collins was monitoring. "We should have shut the test down," he said quietly.

"Yeah?" Rodney snapped. "How was I supposed to know the field was going to expand asymmetrically like that? I mean, look at this." He jabbed his finger at a tablet he was holding, a jumbled report of the tragedy that just happened. A model of a bubble of energy popped out in a way that didn't seem, for all Radek's experience, like it was physically possible.

All the numbers and graphs in the world wouldn't give it any sense. All the nonsense in the world wouldn't it make it okay or forgivable.

"We tried to tell you, Rodney," Radek found himself saying a moment later.

"Please, like-like you knew that was going to happen any more than I did," Rodney said. He threw a few files across the screen into a removable disc.

 _The Ancients aren't perfect._

"I didn't know, but the skeletons were one hell of a tipoff."

 _They're all dead._

"Oh, come on, we run into skeletons every other week," Rodney said.

"Will is dead!"

Robert took his eyes off the wall. Higginson glanced up for a moment. They had that look children have when their parents argue, and Radek hated that look. Hated the respect they gave Rodney when all he ever did was... well, save their lives. Put them in mortal danger. Ridicule them, scold them, disrespect them. Take them for granted, and not care if they should suddenly be swept away by radiation, viruses, life-sucking, electrocution, pick any way to die in the Pegasus galaxy. Rodney wouldn't even notice, would he?

Damn good scientist. Deplorable human being. He could strangle Rodney right now and not feel a thing.

"You think I don't know that?"

The room ached with the silence. Rodney blinked, and a Rodney that Radek had never seen before nearly spilled out. He turned away before Radek could make head or tail of it.

"Look, Sheppard will be back any minute. Everyone, get your things and get to the Jumper." Rodney picked up his few mechanical implements. Higginson hurried down an adjoining hallway and Robert started looking for something under a desk on the other side of the room.

Radek took a short step closer, but couldn't figure out what he was doing. Was he sorry? He didn't know whether to be or not, yet. But no one could fault his confusion at a McKay that maybe had a heart. The McKay that lived in relative silence for a month after Dumais' funeral. The McKay that wasn't quite normal since he left on an offworld mission with Sheppard, Gaul, and Abrams, and only half of them made it back. Rodney moved on quick; they all did. They had to.

It didn't mean they wanted to.

Radek left the room with a sigh, turned the nearest corner, and found himself in the empty hall between the main room and the outdoor landing zone where the Jumper waited.

What the hell just happened?

Had that just happened?

Thinking about this was impossible at the moment. Besides, the sound of muffled sobbing filled the still hallway as he neared the Jumper. He'd figure it out later. Figure out exactly what he thought later. The back of the Jumper was open, the empty numbness pulling him inside. " _Anna?_ " he said quietly as he walked beside her.

She sat on the bench against the divider between the cockpit and the cargo space, her back to the wall. Her knees drawn up. Arms wrapped around. Forehead on her knees and her shoulders shaking with sobs.

" _Anna, I'm so sorry you were… you saw that._ " He didn't know what to say, but that seemed better than nothing. Maybe. Sometimes nothing was good.

After a moment of sniffing, her eyes looked up with a flash of outrage. " _Saw that?_ "

He didn't know what he'd said wrong. But he couldn't scold her; he could hardly speak.

" _You're acting like I just saw an argument between my parents or something. Not—not—_ " Anna gestured toward the open Puddle Jumper door not too far away. She shook her head and turned her eyes back down to her knees. " _Why? Why, why, why?_ " Her words were drowned in tears.

Radek reached for her shoulder and knelt beside her. He meant to wrap his arm around her, but she shied away from his hand. Turned into the wall, away from him. It was alright; she was sad. He was angry, but not sad. He'd feel it tomorrow. Maybe. Soon.

Why Collins of all people?

Words meant nothing. Helped no one. Especially not Anna. Not about this.

He knew she wasn't asking why Collins. She was asking why at all. Why her mother. The universe didn't choose her specifically for this; the universe didn't _choose_ anything at all. But sometimes, it felt like it. There was no reason, but it would almost be nice if there were.

Hanging his head, he told her, " _I'm sorry, Anna; I don't know why._ "

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Ah, two Czech chapter titles in a row. That's weird. But I really, really, really wanted to use this one and you can't stop me. So there. Anyway, the chapter title here means "Before a fall," as in…

* From the Bible's Proverbs 16:18, which goes: "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." A large percentage of the Czech Republic's population is irreligious, and Zelenka is likely among them. However, he could have exposure since apparently there was a spike in religiosity right after the revolution. I imagine a twenty-something Radek's parents in a newly-liberated Czech Republic being like, "Hey, come to church with us. Because." And Radek, you know, he's a pushover.

Uh, or I might just be influenced by my beta's headcanon, to which I do not ascribe, that Radek is Roman Catholic. *shrug* I have no explanation. He has yet to give one.

* * *

 _A/N: It's coming to that time of year again. Good luck to those of you in school/university. Finals will come faster than you think... if they haven't already come and gone, that is. Finish strong! And thank you all for reading. ;) Not a bit of exaggeration to say this thing gets me through the semester._

 _Next time: Remember that "Fumbles McStupid" crack? Remember that? Do you?_


	53. Hypocrite

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech_."  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: That project Radek had been working on for weeks (since chapter 43), just blew up in everyone's face (last chapter). No one is okay. Maybe some useful parallels (but only if you recall all the way back to chapter 25, which was, yes, a long time ago)._

* * *

 **Chapter 53. Hypocrite.**

Anna sat on the floor of Doctor McKay's lab, next to Collins' station. It was hard to believe that he would never be sitting there again working on coding. Showing her more efficient rerouting pathways for the _Daedalus_. Streamlining this-and-that for whatever on Atlantis. She breathed onto her knees, wishing someone would say something.

Everyone was so quiet. Doctor McKay had been staring into space for the past twenty minutes. Anna had never known him to be so quiet, and, apparently, Radek hadn't either. Radek looked up periodically from whatever he was doing. He glanced down toward Anna a few times. Maybe he didn't know why she was there. But it was midnight and she didn't want to be home alone.

Not that it mattered. Everyone here seemed alone.

How could three people be sitting in the same room together and yet unreachable?

"You could have said something."

Anna looked up when Doctor McKay muttered under his breath.

"What did you want me to say?" Radek asked quietly. "I said we don't know what happened. I said it's going to take time. Both of those things are true."

"Right. You have no problem going on about how little you know, but you didn't have anything to say when Caldwell wanted to just throw Collins under the bus." Doctor McKay didn't bother tempering his tone like Radek did.

"There is no bus."

Anna didn't know what that meant. Besides, maybe Doctor McKay should have tried going on about how little he knew. She rested her chin on her knees. Over-active ego was a problem around here. So was jumping in and doing things before anyone knew what they were talking about.

That sounded familiar.

Doctor McKay looked confused. "What?"

"It wasn't an unfair question from someone who knows nothing," Radek said.

"Caldwell was looking for someone to blame. And it wasn't Collins's fault."

Radek looked down at his keyboard and stayed quiet. Was he thinking the same thing that Anna was? That it was Doctor McKay's fault? If Doctor McKay hadn't jumped into the project with both feet and sent Collins to check the field in the middle of the first test, he would be alive and well. Was that what he was thinking?

"You're right," Radek said finally. "It was an accident."

"No." Doctor McKay shook his head emphatically, shaking his finger at Radek. "No, it shouldn't have happened. Physically, it shouldn't have happened. Our mistake was in using the Ancients' equations in the first place."

"We haven't had the chance to analyze this," Radek said. "We shouldn't be jumping to conclusions right now."

"Yeah, well, if we don't come up with something, Elizabeth's just going to shut us down."

"Better that than another mistake, don't you think?" Anna spoke up. Doctor McKay and Radek both looked at her like they'd forgotten she was there. "What if someone else dies?"

Doctor McKay laughed derisively. "If scientists just gave up every time something went wrong, we wouldn't be sitting in a lab in the Pegasus galaxy."

"Rodney, we have to figure out what happened." Radek paused to look up at Doctor McKay. "We don't even know that. If we don't know that, then what's to keep it from happening again? Or worse?"

"I think I know what happened. We just need to adjust the field strength manually."

Radek rolled his eyes. "You saw how fast the power fluctuated on—"

"Can you imagine how the world would look if they just gave up on the Manhattan project after Daghlian irradiated himself?" Doctor McKay broke in, and Radek paused. It looked to Anna like Doctor McKay had tread on some sacred ground, spoken some magic word. Radek was speechless. "Should they have just given up? You know what the stakes are here."

"I know," Radek said quietly. "We need to be more careful." He rose from his chair and looked at Anna. "I think we need to sleep." He looked at Doctor McKay. "All of us."

"Yeah, yeah," Doctor McKay said absently. "Good night, Radek." He'd gone back to his computer, crunching more numbers and running more simulations. In a few minutes, he'd probably be cursing the impossibility of it all.

It seemed just as impossible to Anna. She didn't understand the science going on, but the consequences were real. She kept looking at Collins's chair, realizing again that he was gone forever.

Radek sighed and waited at the door for Anna to join him. They walked down the stairs in silence to the transporter. Atlantis was silent as a graveyard, but it was probably just because it was late. The city had been informed of Collins's demise. His next of kin, a brother and one parent on Earth, had been informed with their weekly check-up with the SGC.

They wouldn't know where he died. They wouldn't really even know how he died.

Anna knew both of those things. He died on a planet in another galaxy, lethal exposure to radiation that no one knew existed. That didn't make any difference. No one would know why he died. Anna didn't know. She just knew that it wasn't fair.

She stepped into the transporter next to Radek.

" _Hypocrite_."

Radek glanced at her.

She hadn't meant to say that out loud. Or maybe she had. She wanted to yell at someone, and he was the most convenient person right now.

" _What? Who?"_ Radek sounded shocked.

" _Doctor McKay_." Maybe he didn't remember, but it was only a few weeks ago that he'd lectured Radek about running ahead with something he didn't know anything about. It wasn't Radek's lesson to learn. " _I suppose he just thought he'd mash on the keyboard and hoped something happened_." She made sure her tone mimicked Doctor McKay's nearly exactly as she remembered it. Weeks ago, he'd said as much to Radek.

She was sure he remembered it. Anna remembered Radek's look of livid humiliation like it was yesterday.

" _Oh. Anna. That isn't the same thing_ ," Radek said.

" _How isn't it?"_ Anna demanded.

" _No_ ," Radek turned to her with a serious look on his face, not bothering when the door opened to let them out onto the south-east pier. " _We have worked on this for weeks. What happened during the test was something that none of us predicted and—"_

" _Collins is dead!"_ She blinked at her tears. He didn't seem to see it the way she did. Why did he defend Doctor McKay when he was so obviously wrong? " _Because Doctor McKay didn't know what he was doing_!"

" _That is not what happened, Anna_ ," Radek said.

He seemed even more shocked when Anna ran out of the transporter, just to hide that she was crying again. She didn't look back, running all the way home. She made it to her room and underneath her covers before Radek caught up.

Her door slid open. " _Anna_ ," he said.

She shifted under the quilt. Her lungs hurt from sobbing, her eyes sore with tears. " _You're just going to defend him_."

" _Because we couldn't have predicted what happened_ ," Radek said. He took a step into the room and waited. " _I'm not going to defend Rodney's complete arrogance. But he blames himself enough_."

Anna buried her face in her pillow. He didn't blame himself enough. That was the problem. Maybe if he did, then Collins would still be alive because he wouldn't be so conceited. He said it himself. He thought he knew better than the Ancients.

Radek sighed. " _I will be at the lab early tomorrow. Will you want to have breakfast with me?"_

Anna didn't answer. Radek apparently took that as a no. Walked away. The door shut after him.

She sat up, wrapping the quilt around her, and opened the blinds on her window. Atlantis was beautiful and bright as ever, as if it hadn't just lost one of its brightest scientists.

#

Radek sat down in the main room. He looked at the stray bubbles on his pale lager. He'd never bought Collins his drink for his "promotion" a few weeks ago. There was always time for that in the future, he'd tell himself. They were too busy and, honestly, it was true. Atlantis wasn't all work, all the time, but it was close.

He lifted his glass to absent friends. "Na zdraví." *

He started when the signal on the door sounded. Someone was outside, wanted to come in. That was highly unusual, especially at this time of night. Radek could have counted on his fingers the number of times someone had come to his quarters.

It was probably one of the scientists, come to talk about Collins. Maybe they wanted a drink. In absence of the Athosians, Radek was Atlantis's most reliable source of alcohol. If not for the necessity of work early tomorrow, he would have been set on getting drunk tonight. Maybe tomorrow, too.

This wasn't supposed to happen; this wasn't right.

Radek stared in confusion and shock at Rodney, standing on the other side of the door. "Rodney. I thought we agreed we needed to sleep."

"You agreed." Rodney pushed past Radek without asking.

Radek sighed. "Why don't you come in?" he said as Rodney crossed the floor to look out the window at the sparkling Atlantis. He could come in, but he wasn't having anything to drink.

"Sheppard and I are going back to the outpost tomorrow. I think I know what to do."

Radek squinted at Rodney. "Wait—what?" How could he have figured it out so fast? If he did—even Radek would have to admit Rodney was a god of physics. An arrogant, insufferable god, but still.

"It all has to do with the amount of power. The moment the power spiked was the exact moment that the field expanded asymmetrically," Rodney said. "Running the test fire at no more than half power should be perfectly safe."

Radek nodded uncertainly. Yes, that _should_ have been true. But only looking at it from the most basic level. "Rodney…" He didn't know how to say this. Rodney wasn't being clear, so… maybe he'd misunderstood? "The particles created by the containment of vacuum energy are… It's constant random energy fluctuation. How do you contain it?"

"It won't be a problem. I don't have to contain it. Just control it."

"No, no, no," Radek said. "The very nature—they can't be controlled."

"Oh really?" Rodney snapped. "And you base this on what?"

"I base it on the data from the test," Radek said. "Look, it's too early to go back now. We have simulations to run and calculations to work though."

"I did that, and I'm telling you—"

"You go back there tomorrow and the same or worse will happen," Radek interrupted. "That will kill this project for good. We don't want that."

"You obviously don't understand," Rodney muttered.

Obviously not. "Please, do not jump into this so fast. Let me do some simulations, and—"

"That'll take too long." Rodney hesitated a moment. "Look, it was sort of a professional curtesy to tell you Sheppard and I are going back to run the simulation."

"Professional curtesy?" Radek scoffed. So that was what this was all about? Publishing papers and getting awards? He set his beer down carefully on the nearest table. He was going to spill it if Rodney kept this up. His hands were already shaking. "I hope you're alright with me accepting your Nobel Prize for you posthumously, because you are going to kill yourself. Assuming it even works."

"Just because you don't understand it—"

"You're right." Radek threw his hands up in exasperation. "I admit it. I have no idea what screwed up the test firing today. I have no idea what went wrong or why."

"Alright, at least we agree on something," Rodney muttered.

"And if you would admit to just a particle of ignorance, then we could solve this problem together." Radek set his jaw and glared.

Rodney didn't care about that. He didn't even care about his own life.

"I've solved it," Rodney said. He started for the door.

Radek slumped down onto the couch, running his hand through his hair. "I hope you're blinded by grief right now and will see clearly in the morning."

Rodney rolled his eyes, pausing his march toward the door. "Oh, if that's not some condescending crap—"

"I'm being condescending?" Radek laughed at the ridiculousness of that statement. He turned toward Rodney.

He'd turned his back already, walking toward the door.

So maybe mocking him was not the road to go down right now. Should have known that. Radek sighed. "Rodney." He looked up at the ceiling when Rodney didn't answer. "Give it a day. Please. Give me the time to understand it. Then I can help you and maybe we can make it work."

"There isn't time for that." Rodney left before Radek could say any more.

Radek leaned back on the sofa in momentary defeat. Rodney was really going to go back there and kill himself? He couldn't let him do that… Collins was dead. What if… what if Rodney actually did end up killing himself…?

Could he handle being in charge of the whole Atlantis science team? Probably. Was that what he wanted? Absolutely, yes. But for all the times Radek threatened under his breath in Czech to kill Rodney, the last thing he wanted was for Rodney to die.

" _You're such an idiot. You're going to kill yourself and I don't care_."

After a few moments of silent contemplation, Radek slammed his feet on the floor and stood.

" _Damnit, Rodney._ "

He went around the room, picking up tablets and wires as he went. He had to figure this out quickly if he meant to stop Rodney from making the last mistake of his life. It was what he was here for. Only a few people understood exactly what Rodney was doing most of the time. Even fewer cared to stop him when he got out of hand.

Radek cared. So help him, he cared a lot.

So much for sleeping tonight.

* * *

 _Next time: I didn't mean to call you that, but… yeah. I guess I meant it._


	54. The Laws of Physics and Friendship

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: No one is okay after the disaster (in chapter 52) on that project Radek and science-people have been working on (since chapter 43). So, of course, Rodney's going to do something crazy._

* * *

 **Chapter 54. The Laws of Physics and Friendship.**

Anna put her fingers through her hair as she went out into the main room. Her eyes still felt puffy and sore from last night, but they didn't look any different than usual. This morning she felt… fine. Like she had misplaced something important, sure. But otherwise, okay.

To her surprise, a bleary-eyed Radek sat on the couch, surrounded by a few tablets connected by wires. It looked like each was running a separate test, and a couple had separate boards holding a dozen equations, models, and diagrams that Anna didn't recognize.

" _Morning_ ," Anna said when he said nothing. She hesitated. He just nodded what she assumed was a "Good morning." Or maybe just a "morning." He didn't look very good. She didn't expect anyone on the science team was particularly _good_ this morning. " _How long have you been up?"_

Radek glanced at a tablet and mumbled, " _I haven't slept yet. Not really_."

Anna sighed, looking at him with a disapproving glint. He was just going to make himself sick again. Study himself into the ground. " _We all feel bad about Collins, but it's no reason to kill yourself_."

" _No, it's not that. Almost."_ Radek slid the computer off his knee onto the coffee table. " _Rodney is going back to the planet today with Colonel Sheppard, if he's not already gone. There's no way he's ready. There's no—I don't think it can be controlled_." He looked up at her.

Anna wasn't quite sure what he meant, but he certainly looked concerned. " _You mean_ …"

" _I mean if he goes back there with the plan he told me about last night, he'll be the one killing himself_."

Anna paused next to the couch. She didn't expect he was being hyperbolic, not with the events of yesterday still hanging low over their heads. " _You have to stop him_."

Radek smirked. " _In case you didn't realize yesterday, listening is not exactly one of Rodney's areas of strength_." At Anna's frown, he shook his head. " _I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap. I don't know what to do. He will die. He'll take Colonel Sheppard with him, and they'll both be incinerated. If they're lucky."_

" _Then you have to come up with something else."_ Anna wasn't sure that Doctor McKay deserved to be saved from himself in this case. On the other hand, John didn't deserve to be burnt to a crisp because of Doctor McKay's arrogant ineptitude.

And Radek didn't deserve to have Doctor McKay's death on his conscience, either. It would just be better for everyone if nobody else died because of this thing. Even Anna had to admit... no, she knew for sure. She wasn't very fond of him right now, but she didn't want Doctor McKay to incinerate himself and the whole planet.

Radek obviously didn't, either. Just last night, Radek had been defending Doctor McKay beyond the call of professional duty. He'd stayed up all night and, if this untouched glass of tepid alcohol on the counter was any indication, he'd done his best to keep his mind clear while doing so.

" _But I can't do nothing, either_ ," Radek mumbled.

Anna shrugged. " _Maybe Elizabeth can make him listen_."

Radek sniffed disdainfully at that. Doctor McKay listened to no one, least of all people who didn't know the first thing about science.

" _She can at least make him stop what he's doing_."

Radek looked up at her. " _That's true. She can_."

" _Then what are you waiting for?"_

The look on Radek's face said he even he didn't know. " _He won't listen to me_." All the same, he sighed and looked at his tablet. He picked it up and started tapping, dejectedly, on the screen. " _What am I saying? I can't even bring this to Elizabeth until I'm sure_."

" _I shouldn't interrupt, then."_ Anna looked toward the door, then at Radek. " _Shall I bring you breakfast?"_

He smiled, but didn't look up at her. " _That would be generous. Thank you_."

Anna nodded and slid out the door. He didn't say it, but he was worried. Very. She was fairly confident that he could come up with something convincing soon. After all, it seemed like a much easier task to be able to come up with reasons that something shouldn't work than to come up with reasons why it should.

Like a friendship between Doctor Rodney McKay and, well, anyone.

It was easy to assume that now, when he was arguably at his lowest. One of his science team died on his watch yesterday on an experiment he was running. Anna didn't know how she would feel if something like that happened to her in the future. She hoped she would never be so stupid as to summarily dismiss the work of a collective of scientists who'd managed to make a city-spaceship.

Maybe Doctor McKay wasn't thinking. She knew she wasn't thinking. If she did start thinking, she'd think of Collins. And she didn't want to do that right now.

She stepped out of the transporter into the mess hall. The usual culprits grabbed a dish of food and ran out on their way to their labs. Others took a seat with friends and coworkers to discuss the day's work, or, better yet, something entirely unrelated.

A lot of people were talking about Project Arcturus' abject failure.

She took a tray as she stood in the queue. Radek liked a simple breakfast, toast and coffee most of the time. On the other hand, he was probably running on fumes. He hadn't slept since the night before last. She poured a generous cup of coffee, and grabbed some toast and bacon. He could use the protein.

"Hello, Anna." Anna slowed her walk just enough to see Teyla stepping up beside her. "I heard about Doctor Collins. We are sorry for the loss."

Anna nodded. She was, too. But not as sorry as they were going to be if they didn't snatch Doctor McKay back from the brink of this self-destructive behavior. "Thank you," she said as she made her way toward the transporter.

"Where are you going?" Teyla asked.

"Back to my quarters. Radek hasn't had breakfast," she said.

"Oh, I just came from the control room." Teyla stopped walking. "Doctor Zelenka ran past me as I was leaving. I think he said something about why the test didn't work."

"Really?" Anna didn't know whether to be excited or terrified. He'd finished that up quickly. Maybe he'd been on the trail of something important and the promise of coffee pushed him over the edge. "Here—um, do you mind?" She shoved the tray off on Teyla. Food and drink wasn't technically allowed in the Control Room. Radek was usually the first person to yell at 'gate technicians for spilling everything all over their delicate equipment.

Teyla smiled obligingly. "No, of course not." She paused a moment, taking on a serious look. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," Anna said. If Radek was running, that meant that he'd tried to find Doctor McKay and he was already gone. If that was true… "I'll find out soon. Thank you, Teyla!"

Anna jumped into the transporter and tapped the Central Tower as soon as both feet landed inside. As soon as the doors whooshed open, Anna flew down the stairs just in time to see Radek wringing his hands in Elizabeth's office. She looked serious as she led the way out into the Control Room.

"I hope you're wrong, Radek," she said sternly before addressing Chuck. "Dial Colonel Sheppard."

"Yes, ma'am," Chuck said.

Chuck started pressing buttons. Anna slid up next to Radek and waited. He glanced at her like he was surprised to see her there.

"I'm sure Rodney would have come to the same conclusion with more… um, time," Radek said. He sighed and shook his head. "He stopped listening to me. I hope you'll be able to get through to him."

"I hope so, too," Elizabeth said. "I can't afford to lose both Rodney and John."

Radek nodded gravely.

Elizabeth turned to look toward the 'gate. The wormhole established, throwing the room into a silver-blue glow. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Atlantis."

The comm clicked and Colonel Sheppard's voice spoke into the Control Room. "Go ahead."

"Is Doctor McKay with you?" Elizabeth asked.

"Of course, I am," Doctor McKay snapped.

Radek set his jaw in worry. This wasn't a promising start.

"But we're a little busy getting ready to run a test here."

"Actually," Elizabeth said carefully, "I would like you to delay the test firing."

"Why?" John asked.

"We have reason to believe that the weapon's power source…" Elizabeth hesitated and glanced back at Radek for confirmation. "It may not be controllable at any power level."

"Radek?" Doctor McKay's voice snapped over like a question and a scolding all at once.

Radek took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for a blow. "Rodney."

"We've been over this. I'm doing this manually, at half power. It's a cakewalk," Doctor McKay said.

"I don't think it matters how much cake you walk on," Radek said, obviously trying to maintain calm. Doctor McKay didn't sound the least bit nervous about putting both his and Colonel Sheppard's lives in danger. "I've been doing calculations of my own and I believe that the very act of trying to contain vacuum energy from our own space-time creates an environment where the laws of physics cease to apply."

"What are you on about?" Doctor McKay demanded.

"As power output increases," Radek explained, probably more for Elizabeth's understanding than Doctor McKay's. "New and exotic particles are continuously created and destroyed inside the containment chamber, interacting with each other and with the field itself. Eventually, particles are created that cannot be prevented in this space-time, and they breach the containment field as hard radiation."

Anna was convinced. Hard radiation equaled bad. Dead. Explosions and incineration.

Doctor McKay was having none of that. "As long as I'm monitoring the energy output manually, I can stop that before it happens."

"You cannot predict something that is inherently unpredictable!" Radek threw his hands toward the speaker, like Doctor McKay could somehow see him. Even Colonel Sheppard's questions didn't sway Doctor McKay. "Rodney, I am trying to tell you, as a friend, I have serious doubts."

Anna looked up. Did anyone else hear what she just heard?

Maybe no one was listening. Anna didn't know a lot about Doctor McKay, but she knew one thing for sure… he didn't have a lot of friends. And certainly not a lot of friends who would admit to that in a room full of people.

But Doctor McKay didn't even hesitate. "Well, you're wrong. I'm sorry, but there it is. And to bring this up now when I am just about to do this smacks of nothing but professional jealousy."

Radek took a step back. "Fine!" he shouted at the Stargate. "Kill yourself, just like the Ancients did!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Colonel Sheppard interrupted. "What do you mean by that?"

"If the overload is allowed to continue, the weapon acts as a sort of release valve to prevent catastrophic containment failure," Radek went on, probably just for Colonel Sheppard at this point. Doctor McKay stopped listening a long time ago. "The Ancients barely managed to shut it down, and they lost their lives in the process."

"We're suggesting the Wraith didn't kill everyone on that planet," Elizabeth said. "It was the weapon itself."

"Yes, congratulations," Doctor McKay interjected. "You've solved the mystery of how the Ancients screwed up ten thousand years ago. It doesn't mean I will do the same. Look, I don't know how else to say this, but none of you are capable of understanding this on the same level that I do." He paused for half a second. "And, Zelenka, that includes you."

So there it was. Doctor McKay went so far as to whip out the last-name address. Radek threw his hands up and walked away. No one could say Radek didn't try. Not even Radek.

Anna sighed and leaned against Chuck's console while Elizabeth and Doctor McKay continued to argue. She didn't listen, because it was pretty obvious how it was going to end. Doctor McKay assured her that he wasn't wrong. Everything would be fine. He could do this.

And Elizabeth believed him.

John promised to call back after the test and the wormhole shut down.

Radek's fingers were raked through his hair as he heaved a sigh. He shook his head. "He is going to kill himself."

"We'll dial back in a bit if they haven't yet," she answered. Her shaky voice said that she wasn't sure of the decision she'd just made. No one seemed to be.

"I certainly hope so. There might not be a 'gate to dial by then."

Elizabeth locked him in a look of shock and amazement.

Radek shook his head, picking up his tablet. He looked up suddenly. "The _Daedalus_. Can the _Daedalus_ check on them?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll call up Colonel Caldwell immediately. I'm sure he'll be interested to look in on the experiment no matter what happens."

"Covertly."

"Covertly." Elizabeth smiled half-heartedly.

He started to walk out of the Control Room, but stopped at the doorway. "Tell me if they make it back?"

"Of course," Elizabeth answered. She hesitated, then added, "When they do, Doctor. When they do."

"Yes." Radek sighed and turned to leave the room. "Yes, I hope so."

Anna held her breath and looked toward Elizabeth. "I hope… I hope Radek's wrong." She waited for Elizabeth to nod her agreement. She didn't really hope he was wrong. More like she hoped that Doctor McKay came to his senses soon. "But I don't think that he is."

If Anna stepped back and looked at it, he hadn't really been wrong yet. Sometimes he didn't do what he thought he should. This time he did. That was all anyone could ask for, right?

It was all anyone should ask for.

Anna wasn't too surprised to find Radek in the mess hall, picking over a selection of bacon, hard boiled eggs, and toast. His cup of coffee was already half gone. She went to stand next to him. " _So much for that_ ," she mumbled.

Anna didn't know what to say. It was like sitting at the dinner table a few days before her mother died. Impending bad news made the bread heavy in her stomach. She hugged her arms and stared at the table full of food. She wanted to say something, but he was distracted. Too worried about Doctor McKay, probably.

He smiled tightly, sarcastically. " _He didn't hear a word I said_." He skimped on the bacon and topped off his coffee.

Anna picked a slice of toast for her small plate, and some apple juice.

Silence followed them to the table.

" _Doctor McKay is lucky, though_ ," she said quietly. " _To have a friend who will yell at him like you did."_

Radek sniffed in amusement. " _Is that what we are?_ "

Anna shrugged. Smiled a little. Maybe Radek didn't hear a word he said, either.

" _He will not see it that way, anyway,"_ Radek said.

It didn't matter how Doctor McKay saw it. Anna didn't realize it before today, but worrying, not letting people go offworld without a stern talking-to, that was how Radek cared about people. " _No one else does that,"_ Anna pointed out.

" _I suppose that's why he likes them better_ ," Radek said. He finished up his bacon and picked up his coffee to head to the lab.

She tried not to think of it too hard, but that sort of made her sad. Doctor McKay had very few friends around here, didn't he? Anna caught up to him. " _But it goes both ways."_

Radek shrugged and stepped into the transporter. " _I suppose_ ," he mumbled. He obviously had no idea what she was talking about.

Neither did she, actually. She didn't know anything about friendship. She'd only had a few friends in her life. But since she had to start all over, she realized she had no idea how to make friends in the first place. In any case, she hoped that if she ever had a friend yell at her to be careful and not blow herself up on a science experiment, she'd listen.

" _What are you going to do now?"_ Anna asked. Sleep was out of the question, with his sudden interest in coffee.

" _Wait for them to get back_ ," Radek answered. " _I'll get a head start on some deep space sensor tests we were going to run when we got back_." He shrugged, as if to ask what else he could do.

" _Can I help?"_ Anna asked. Maybe she would get a proper lesson on Ancient/Human coding. Maybe she'd finally learn how to decipher the sensor readings and the different functions.

First genuine smile of the morning. " _Certainly."_

* * *

 _Next time: I don't say this kind of thing very often, but…_


	55. Still Friends

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek may have called Rodney something he didn't mean (last chapter) after a project they were working on (since chapter 43) blew up in their faces (in chapter 52). At least no one else died._

* * *

 **Chapter 55. Still Friends.**

Anna stood and looked around the room. She had everything. It was time to stop sulking and get back to… life. The faster she did that, the better. Lunch was a regular part of life. So was homework... no matter who was grading it. They could both be distracting, so she decided to do them both at the same time. She turned toward the door. It slid open and she nearly ran into Radek on his way in.

Stumbling back, she clutched her tablet to her chest for fear of dropping it. The connecting wire was still wrapped solidly around her arm, used to collect readings directly and in real time from the Atlantis systems.

It was Radek's… he probably wouldn't mind if she borrowed it.

" _I didn't mean to startle you_."

" _You—I mean, I'm fine. I didn't expect you to be here. That's all_." She stood to one side to let him enter.

He only walked a few steps before turning to her. " _I actually was hoping I could talk to you_."

" _Oh_." That didn't bode well. But she couldn't think of anything she'd done particularly wrong lately besides ignoring her science homework… and that was ending today even though science was a murderer. She didn't want to think that Doctor McKay would be grading it every day from here on out.

Or, even worse, Radek.

" _I owe you an apology, Anna_."

Anna looked askance at him. He seemed absolutely sincere—and, actually, she hadn't known him to be anything but. " _You do?"_ She couldn't think of anything particularly apology-worthy. Maybe he was having another experience of his life flashing before his eyes. Last time that happened, during the Wraith's siege of Atlantis, she got a video letter. This time, Collins died. Anna realized just now, it could have been any of them.

It could have been Radek?

Oh, no. No, Radek never did anything dangerous. It could never be Radek.

" _I have been particularly absent for the past few weeks_ ," he said. "I _have missed weeks of meals with you and I nearly missed Christmas."_

Christmas. That had only been a few days ago, hadn't it? Time flew around here… when it wasn't crawling by in a painfully slow meander. In any case, it was hard to forget she was almost forgotten… on Christmas of all days.

Anna finally shrugged. " _It doesn't really matter_."

" _No, it does."_ He reached into his pocket and took out a small item wrapped in red tissue paper. He held it out to her and pressed it into her hand when she reached for it. " _I hope you will forgive me. And I hope you will give me another chance."_

Anna turned the tissue paper over in her hand a few times. She knew what it was without having to open it. An acorn with a tiny violin painted on it. " _Of course_ ," she said. She didn't know what else she could possibly say. It wasn't as though they would never see each other again in any case. " _But don't worry yourself about it too much_."

" _I've been too unworried, don't you think?"_

Anna shrugged. " _I don't know. What you were doing was very important. Christmas comes every year and… well, I'm always here."_

They both knew that wasn't true, anyway. She was here now… but someday, she wouldn't be. Atlantis was great and she'd never forget what he did for her to bring her here. She appreciated Radek's trying; she really did. But they'd grown so far apart… They'd probably never even grow back together.

Radek took a deep breath, apparently considering what she'd said. Finally, he just nodded. What did that mean? " _Well. It matters to me."_ He waited, and she waited. Maybe neither of them knew what to say. "I _will see you tonight for dinner. Are you going to lunch right now?"_

Anna nodded, but didn't get the chance to tell him that she already had plans.

" _May I join you_?"

" _I was actually going to eat with Jennifer—um, Doctor Keller."_ Inexplicably, she hoped that his feelings weren't hurt. " _But I will see you at dinner, yeah? I might even see you sooner because… because I had some homework I needed to ask Doctor McKay about_."

Radek nodded a little. He did look disappointed. " _Alright. Well, you may not find Rodney in the lab today. Can I help you_?"

" _Um. Yes. I will ask you if he isn't there, I guess,"_ Anna said. " _Oh_." She stopped and unwound part of the coiled connecting wire in her hand. " _May I borrow this? Doctor McKay told me he'd get me one, but he hasn't yet, and there are some tests I need to run to_ —"

" _Yeah, yeah_ ," he interrupted. " _Of course. I won't need it for a few days, I think_."

She edged toward the door. He wished her a good lunch. She left him standing in the room alone when she stepped outside.

#

Why did he volunteer for this? Was he trying to depress himself?

Collins's desk was surprisingly bare, with only a few photos of his parents and brother. Radek couldn't rightly tell if it was a younger or older brother from the pictures, and couldn't remember if Collins had ever mentioned him outright.

He couldn't remember. He didn't think he was quite old enough yet to be forgetting things like this. He might have had a better time committing it to memory if he'd seen this coming at all.

He felt guilty about stealing the acorn. It was his newest. Radek had never, would never, understand his penchant for painting acorns, but it was a unique sort of quirk he'd very much miss. And it seemed wrong somehow to send these to his family.

It was a group of acorns, actually. Radek wasn't sure if they were merely art on Collins' part or if Radek was reading into it too much. Probably the latter.

He would miss the smell of paint and stumbling upon the random discarded colored toothpicks he'd used to paint them. It wasn't an entirely productive thing to do during meetings, but it was better than just listening to Rodney's hollow drone. Collins was a fan of anime and he played Magic: The Gathering. His family would understand getting his DVD boxsets and decks of wizards and goblins.

They wouldn't understand this collection of acorns, not like Radek did. This particular acorn was clearly supposed to represent Rodney, with its Canadian flag and a little lemon. The Radek wearing small round glasses. Kavanagh and his pony tail. Dumais and her halo.

Maybe they would understand it. Maybe he'd been doing this for a long time.

Radek glanced at the clock. Five minutes. He couldn't miss supper. That would be embarrassing. First day back and no emergency. He had the thought to just go right now. Then he saw a shadow pass in front of the doorway to his lab.

Rodney was standing there.

Radek straightened and prepared himself to be scolded. He'd heard that Elizabeth had taken his ear off earlier, so he was probably in a bad mood.

"Can I help you, Rodney?"

He shook his head and stepped in. "No."

Radek waited for him to say what it was he was coming for, then.

He never did.

Radek decided to speak up, just to fill the silence. "If you're here so I can apologize for going over your head on Project Arcturus by taking my concerns to Doctor Weir, I'm not going to. But you wouldn't listen to me." So why was he explaining himself?

"No, actually. It's, um—" Rodney took a deep breath. "I should've listened."

He said it so quickly it was difficult to tell what he'd actually said. Was that supposed to be an apology? Radek didn't know for sure, and didn't want to ask. Just in case it actually was supposed to be an apology. Rodney would take that completely wrong. But if he didn't say that... what was he supposed to say? He'd never been apologized to before.

Instead, he found himself facing Rodney in complete, confounded silence.

Rodney never took to silence very well. This situation was apparently no exception. Even though it was an exception. Radek was glad to be apologized to, of course. But also, he was not the one apologizing for once.

"I should have looked closer, like you said; I should have given it more time, and I won't let anything like that happen again. I'd hate to think that you—well, you know, you and everybody else—would think less of me after this, and..."

Rodney really didn't know how to shut up, really didn't know how to apologize. Radek didn't doubt that he was probably Rodney's trial run for all the apologizing he'd have to do today, to Elizabeth and Colonel Sheppard, probably. Surprising as it was, he didn't think any less of Rodney's inept attempt at apology for it.

Since Radek found his words again, he figured it was time to rescue Rodney from his ramble. "Rodney."

Rodney stopped mid-sentence, turning his eyes back on Radek's since they'd wandered away in embarrassment. "Hm?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in interest.

"It would be... impossible for me to think less of you," Radek offered. Then he smiled. He could be pretty good at turn-of-phrase under the right circumstances.

"Oh?" Rodney looked unsure for a moment, maybe trying to figure out whether Radek had meant that exactly the way he said it. "Hm. Okay."

Radek moved to leave.

But, it seemed Rodney was just out to bury himself tonight. "But, listen, I really meant what I said. I can be really, um..." He shook his head and tried again. "Look, if I don't—I should respect you even if I think your theories are ridiculous."

Radek didn't know whether to be angry about that or not.

"Because, you know, if I had, then I might have seen that it wasn't ridiculous. That's what I'm trying to say."

Well, that cleared up... almost nothing. Radek had the grace not to say anything about it though, not at least until he figured it out. Did Rodney just say that Radek... _deserved_ respect? In a roundabout, upside-down way, he thought Radek's ideas weren't always ridiculous? That was almost an apology, right?

It was as close as he figured he would ever come.

"Um..." Radek mumbled, finally deciding. "Thank you. I'm glad you're okay." He hesitated. "You are okay, right? Carson checked you and Colonel Sheppard for radiation, yes?"

Rodney waved that away. "Yes, yes, we're both fine."

Radek nodded. "Good." He waited for a moment. He had to get out of here if he was going to meet Anna on time. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have to meet Anna for dinner."

"Oh, sure." Rodney stepped aside to let Radek past.

Radek was almost out the door when Rodney stopped him again.

"Radek?"

He waited in the doorway, sighed. "Yes, Rodney?"

"Still, um—still friends, right?"

Radek was glad he wasn't facing Rodney. He smiled. So Rodney had been listening after all? Maybe he was closer to respect than he knew.

"Yes, still."

"Good."

* * *

 _A/N: I was just going to make (something like) the last half of this one into an episode tag for Trinity (a long time ago, now), but it fits fine here. I don't think Radek gets enough credit for that "as a friend" line. Not only was that an unnecessary phrase right in the middle there, but that's not a necessarily effective strategy for getting McKay to listen. Zelenka would know that. Therefore... he must have said that because he meant it. When McKay flies off the handle, he degrades people. Radek, on the other hand? Lets it slip he's Rodney's friend. Whoops. Control yourself, sir._

 _I mean, you know, cursing and death-wishing aside. ;)_

* * *

 _Next time: This month has been pretty terrible, so... it's time to do something else_ _._


	56. Genetic Lottery

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: After a project turned into a disaster (chapters 43-52), we may have made some progress. Still trying to pick up the pieces, though._

* * *

 **Chapter 56. Genetic Lottery.**

Anna sighed as she leaned over to look under the table. Nothing. She looked in the potted plant by the balcony. Why her glasses would have been in there was beyond her, but she felt she'd looked everywhere else and they were nowhere to be found. She sighed and sat down, looking around the room.

"Anna?"

Anna glanced toward Teyla's voice, smiling a little sheepishly.

"What are you doing?" As soon as Teyla saw her face, she realized what was missing. "Oh. You are looking for your glasses. You lost them in here?" Teyla gave the room a once-over.

If it were that easy, Anna would have found them ages ago.

"Yes." Anna sighed, looking around, too. "At least, I don't think I would have been able to leave a room without noticing I wasn't wearing them."

"I see." Teyla started looking around, too, starting with the potted plant. She seemed to think it was a funny place to look, too. But Teyla even went so far as to check the leaves. "You cannot see very well without them?"

Anna shrugged and retraced her steps back to the table she was sitting at. Her book sat there, untouched since she'd left it. A bookmark sat halfway through the pages. The glasses were nowhere near here. "I can see alright. I usually wear them all the time, but I don't need them to read. I can't see far-away things without them, though."

Teyla glanced toward Anna. "My family has been blessed with excellent vision."

"Mine… hasn't." Anna chuckled and checked the table next to hers. Nothing. "I've had glasses since I was thirteen. My mom—well, she used to say that she was surprised that I didn't need glasses even earlier. Radek's had glasses since he was twelve."

"That is quite young," Teyla said. She checked the nearby buffet of energy bars and sandwiches.

"He used to joke he was blind without them." Anna almost laughed at the memory. "Well, he might not be able to see very well at all, but I thought he meant literally. When I was little, I would steal his glasses and he would pretend to stumble through the house while I hid in a cupboard with them." She must have been five years old.

Teyla didn't say anything for a long while. "A pleasant memory." She continued to comb over the tables.

Anna sighed and sat where she'd been sitting, trying to figure out where she put them. She didn't bring any extras with her, and didn't consider what a major oversight that was. It would be almost two months before she could get a new pair.

"It's funny how children remember things," Anna agreed. An idea dawned on her and she walked to the doorway.

"What do you mean?" Teyla asked, then paused to watch Anna lean into the trash receptacle. "What are you doing?"

"I was eating before I lost them, so I—" Anna paused to clear aside the snack wrappers. She found her sandwich wrapping and the bag of potato chips. "Bohudíky!" * She was lucky to have seen it, half underneath a package of instant coffee. She plucked the glasses out of the trash and held them up to the light.

Not scratched. Good.

"I am glad you found them," Teyla said. She stood next to Anna and watched her clean the lenses. Anna wondered what could possibly be so interesting about her scrubbing the smudges and a bit of coffee grounds off them when she prodded, "What do you mean?"

Anna pushed the glasses up to her eyes and blinked toward outside. She could see the distant towers of Atlantis perfectly fine without them, but they stood in sharp detail when she was wearing her glasses. She didn't like to look outside at a blurry world.

"I mean… I mean, it's funny how you remember things when you're young. What do you remember about being young?" Anna asked. It occurred to her that she didn't know very much about Teyla, besides that she was Athosian. She was a trader. She was important to her people, but not so important that they fell apart without her. Her family was gone, but that didn't mean she didn't think of them. Did it?

"I remember being afraid," Teyla said. "But it taught me to be brave."

That sounded like something an adult would say about being a child. "I mean… are the people you knew as a child, are they any different now that you're older?" Teyla looked confused. "Or are you different…"

Sometimes Anna didn't know which was more true: that she'd changed or that Radek had. Maybe she'd seen the wrong things her whole life and she was only just now seeing things as they were.

"I think…" Teyla said quietly. "I think we all change when we get older. It would be unfortunate if we did not."

"That's a good point." Anna giggled. She picked up her tablet.

"Why do you ask?"

Anna didn't know how to answer that, not really. She didn't know where her thoughts were these days. She avoided her science homework, for the knowledge it would be Doctor McKay jumping down her throat instead of Collins explaining everything in patient detail. Or had he really been patient? It was hard to tell… because she could only remember the good things.

"I don't remember things how they really are," Anna said.

Was life with just her and her mother really as good as she thought it was? Anna didn't remember ever being happy. Standing here right now, looking out at the ocean, she wasn't sure what being happy was like at all. Maybe she'd never been happy.

She remembered being happy hiding in the kitchen cupboard with Radek's glasses.

"I think that happens, too," Teyla was saying. "When we get older, we have the opportunity to look back on things in our lives and think differently about them." She sighed and put her hand on Anna's shoulder. "I know you are sad. About Doctor Collins."

Anna nodded, shrugging a little to get Teyla's hand off. It had only been a few days, after all. Less than a week. But almost. "Yes." But she was also afraid. Everyone else seemed to have forgotten. Radek, too. Maybe Anna would forget soon, too, how sad she was. Like Radek needed glasses, so did she.

Doctor Beckett taught her about genetics. It was his favorite subject. Sometimes it seemed like everything was genetics.

"I am going to the mainland tomorrow," Teyla said. "To spend some time with my people. Would you like to come with me? I am sure Jinto and Iskaan and the others would be pleased if you came."

Anna nodded, maybe a bit too quickly. "I'd like to come." Maybe she wanted to forget. And that was almost as bad.

#

Two days until the new year… as reckoned by Earth calendars, of course. Radek wasn't sure if it really mattered how long their current planet took to get around its sun. The point was, the days were about the same length, so in less than two weeks, Anna would be a year older. He knew her birthday like he knew his own, the date seared into memory as if it was as important to the history of the world as July 16, 1945...

Sixteen years old.

He remembered thinking about this three years ago, when she was about to hit thirteen. Her first year as a legitimate teenager, and he was half the world away in the USA. He wondered if she was happy, and then decided probably not. If clichés were true, and, well, clichés wouldn't exist if at least some situations didn't follow them, then she was quite unhappy. Teenagers typically were.

That didn't bother him so much since they weren't living in the same flat. Now they were and he was bothered. Was she happy? Could she possibly be happy if she was sixteen without all the usual trappings another year offered on Earth? How could she possibly be happy with the events of the past week shattering what had become a steady, if not peaceful, routine?

Radek wasn't happy about it. Tried not to think of it most of the time.

Don't think of it.

This was her first birthday without Eliška, too. He had to do something. There had to be something around here to cut through her memory of that. They were in a ten-thousand-year-old alien city, for goodness sake.

He had time to figure it out. Though, less time than he had last month. The month before that. The handful of missed birthdays before...

Anna was on the mainland with Teyla today anyway.

Radek picked up the Ancient contraption sitting on his desk, wires attached and a separate device scanning it for anything unusual while he worked on it. Trying to figure out what it was.

No, that was what he was supposed to be doing. Instead, he worried about Anna's sixteenth birthday. It was better this way. This thing was utterly boring. It did absolutely nothing. Probably why it was shoved into the bottom drawer of some lab sixteen levels down and and half a kilometer away from the central tower.

Why did he get stuck with these things?

"Doctor Zelenka?"

He looked up, even though it was sometimes hard to tell if Doctor Kusanagi was actually talking to him through her cute, clipped accent. He never said that out loud. He didn't know how he'd feel if someone called his accent "cute."

"Yes, um, what is it?" he asked. He rolled the Ancient device away.

"I was wondering if you had a chance to look at my work…" She looked a little sheepish, her hands behind her back like that. She was already small. Still, she looked directly at him with an authority she probably had to adopt in order to survive in Rodney's science team. "Doctor McKay will want it by tonight and—"

"Oh," Radek interrupted. He waved away the rest of her sentence. "I forgot all about it. I am so sorry. I will look right now."

"No, no, no, no." Doctor Kusanagi rushed to his desk, hands waving him away from picking up the tablet she'd left there two days ago. She snatched the tablet just as he laid his hands on it. "You are busy. It's okay. Please, do not stop your work."

"I said I would check it before you gave it to him." Radek held onto the computer. "I'm sure it will only take a minute."

"You are busy," she said again. Still, she let go, and waited obsequiously.

Radek hated that. Doctor Kusanagi was as brilliant as any one of them, of course. She only had a problem every now and again with standing up for herself. And she might have put Doctor McKay on a bit too high of a pedestal. Still, she managed to avoid most notice by virtue of silence. Radek liked that about her.

"I'm not busy. Just thinking," he mumbled. He looked through her report on another apparently mind-numbingly dull Ancient device not unlike the one Radek was working on.

Doctor Kusanagi waited a few moments. "Thinking?"

He glanced up, then back down. "My daughter's birthday is in a few days." Tomorrow it would be in twelve days and he would be no closer to finding a suitable way to celebrate it. "What do you do for a birthday on Atlantis?"

Doctor Kusanagi shrugged. "I can't remember the last time we celebrated a birthday."

There was a benefit to that. Radek was going to be thirty-nine this year. Was he so concerned about his age that he didn't care to acknowledge he was about to go into his fourth decade? Was he really that old? It wasn't that long ago he was thirty.

Oh, please. When he was thirty, he was still married, on Earth, and never had any sort of idea he'd be in another galaxy in less than ten years. He was old. Even if not, he was far enough away from the homeplanet to be old.

"Sixteen is an important birthday to Americans," Doctor Kusanagi offered.

Radek nodded, unsure how that made any difference. Of course, if he and Anna lived in the US right now… she'd be driving. Radek was pretty sure that was reason enough to get back to the Czech Republic as soon as possible. What country let their sixteen-year-olds behind the wheel at such an irresponsible age? Not that Anna was irresponsible. No, it was everyone else. Everyone else on the highway. Going 135 km/h.

"I see no reason why he shouldn't ignore it," Radek said, giving her the tablet back.

Kusanagi looked momentarily confused before realizing that Radek had switched back to talking about her report. She nodded appreciatively. Rodney never said anything complimentary. But if he could find something at a glance to ridicule, he probably would.

Doctor Kusanagi took the tablet back. "You can give her a party."

"Right." That was easy. He'd thought of that already, of course. He could arrange for cupcakes or something. She'd loved cupcakes as a child, but he didn't even know if she still liked cupcakes. Who didn't like cupcakes…? "Do you know anyone who…" He hesitated.

Why hadn't he thought of this before?

He rose from his chair, shutting off his computers and detaching the device from its wires. "Did you need something else?"

"No…" Doctor Kusanagi watched him leave, not asking any questions. That was another thing Radek liked about her.

It was not quite lunch yet, and Colonel Sheppard's team's off-day. Tomorrow they would resume 'gate travel for four days, investigating various planets. As expected, he was going to find Sheppard in his quarters.

Radek had never been there before… Well, not outside the rare inspection of some power conduit or other such thing that wasn't working.

The quarters in the Central Tower had easy access to almost every important area of Atlantis without using the transporter. They were small, and Radek preferred the view from the south-east pier anyway. Before he knew quite what he was doing, he stood outside of Colonel Sheppard's quarters.

If anyone knew how to throw a party, surely Sheppard would.

Sheppard answered the call on his door quickly. He looked confused or surprised. "Zelenka," he said. His brow darkened. "What did McKay do now?"

Radek chuckled. "Nothing. This isn't about Rodney. I hoped to get your advice."

"Oh." He looked even more confused, stepping to one side. "Well, uh, do you want to come in?"

Radek didn't know how to say "no" gracefully, so he walked past the colonel into the middle of the room. With any luck, this wouldn't take long. Colonel Sheppard's quarters were a bit thread-bare as far as decorations went, but everyone's were, to some degree. He had no pictures of family, but a few posters of old films and a music group (Radek assumed). Judging by the sole book in the room and the position of the bookmark, he did not enjoy Tolstoy.

So he was basically a child. Radek suspected as much.

"Anna's birthday is next week," he started, but didn't get much further than that.

"Oh, sweet sixteen, huh?" Sheppard asked. "That's a big deal."

Radek stared. Not for them, it wouldn't be. But it should have been. This was his chance to make up for all the birthdays that he missed over the years. It was a lot of pressure placed on one day. "Yes," he said finally. "Yes, it is. But, as you probably imagine, planning parties is not my strong suit."

"Let me guess. Your idea of a good time is a chess tournament, right?" Sheppard smirked.

Radek didn't know what was so funny about that. Chess _was_ fun. Even Sheppard liked chess. Or maybe he just liked beating Rodney. Rodney wouldn't give Radek the time of day for a chess match… Their all-time chess score was 1-0 in Radek's favor. Radek was alright with leaving it that way. Apparently, Rodney was, too.

"I got a car for my sixteenth birthday," Sheppard mused. "A red Porsche 944. Loved that car. Allison Fitz."

"What?"

"Oh." Sheppard shrugged, putting his hands in his coat pockets. "We went for a ride, and we—"

"The driving age in the US is much lower," Radek interrupted. It was a miracle Sheppard made it out of his teenage years to join them here… Considering he probably took his life into his own hands on multiple occasions. Radek thought that just wasn't something a person grew into.

A Porsche?

"You would be living in the US, wouldn't you?" Sheppard asked.

It didn't matter—he wasn't getting Anna a car. She would agree. She didn't need a car. She needed a college education. A much better use of twenty thousand dollars. Though, at this point, her college education was probably a moot point anyway. She was getting that now, practically for free.

 _Free._ She had no friends and nothing but school work to do. It wasn't free.

"Yes, but…"

"Well, not much to do with a car on Atlantis, anyway. But it is a big deal…" Sheppard sat down on his bed, apparently to think.

So, he understood of the gravity of the situation. Perhaps a little more than Radek did. Sheppard had saved Christmas; why not save Anna's birthday, too? Radek looked around, finally taking a seat on a coffee table.

Radek tried to think of something suitable to give Anna, but nothing came to mind. He wasn't even sure if she'd want a bunch of people, adults, around on her birthday. What about visiting the Athosians? She had friends there, so—

The next time Radek looked up, Sheppard grinned at him conspiratorially.

Radek hesitated. "What is it?"

"Hear me out:" Sheppard said quickly. "Puddle Jumper flying lessons."

"First guns, and knives. I don't want her driving a car, and you think a spaceship is better?"

"Please." Sheppard rolled his eyes. "McKay gave Anna an assignment about building an nuclear missile in the parking lot of Ace Hardware. Learning to fly a spaceship from a professional is much less dangerous."

Radek had to give him that. And would have to give Rodney a stern talking-to later. Then the true problem dawned on him. "It doesn't matter," he added. "She doesn't have the ATA gene."

"Right," Sheppard agreed. "That's the gift. You, McKay, and Anna are a few of the handful of people I know who'd think _gene therapy_ was an awesome birthday gift."

Only if it worked, actually. "I don't know, Colonel. The gene therapy didn't work for me."

"And Beckett doesn't know if that makes Anna's chances of taking the gene any more or less than the rest of them. It's a fifty-fifty chance. It's like giving someone a lottery ticket, with much better odds." Sheppard smiled triumphantly, like he'd made his point and considered himself brilliant for doing so.

For a moment, Radek stared. " _Oh, really?"_ he asked sarcastically. A lottery ticket, huh?

Sheppard grinned, nodding as though he understood perfectly the thoughts going through Radek's mind. Why not give her a shot at something Radek missed? He had no excuse except that he thought she was too young. No excuse except that he wanted her to be safe. Did he really think keeping her out of a Puddle Jumper's pilot seat was really going to make that much of a difference?

"Yeah, it might not work. But what if it does? It doesn't matter if the whole day is a complete disaster after that," Sheppard pointed out.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." And the rest of the day was going to be a complete disaster. He could pretty much count on it. Better hedge his bets.

Lottery, indeed.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* "Thank goodness."

* * *

 _A/N: You can't say you didn't see this coming._

 _Also, happy one-year(ish) anniversary! Do I regret this? Well. Just checked on my working document, and apparently... it's been open approximately 37 solid twenty-four-hour days. Now, of course, I'm not writing every second it's open… This and a few other documents are open whenever my computer is on. You know. Just in case something comes to me. So, I'm six episodes into season two?_

 _Yes. I regret it. I regret everything. *slinks away in shame*_

 _*runs back armed with pen, paper, and my Atlantis science-team jacket* Who am I kidding? I_ love _writing this. So entertaining and de-stressing. Everyone needs something like this. Okay, maybe not_ exactly _like this. But let the good times roll on! Fun things planned for this year. Critical Mass has been my holy grail for this season, so I'm getting there. Eventually. I wasn't kidding when I said I was in this for the long haul... The fun to be had is worth it to me, and I hope any who have dropped in every now and again (and who will drop in in the future) have gleaned some amusement as well._

 _Anyway. See ya next week. Keep being awesome. Because you are._

 _Fun stats (approximately), for fun: "Anna" is used 1555 times. "Radek" is used 1303 times and "Zelenka" is used 103 times. "Rodney," "McKay," and "Doctor McKay" combined (that guy goes by a lot of names) are used 1,220 times. "Atlantis" is used 246 times. "The" is used 7002 times. A grand ol' 177 pages in my document._

 _The things I do for fun... (Also, bit of inane trivia: the document in which this story is being written is actually entitled "for fun." Because that's all it is. Just having a little fun.)_

* * *

 _Next time: Stronger than she looks, I guess._


	57. What Little Girls Are Made Of

_To Linda: Ah, thank you! I should've posted on the actual anniversary, but hindsight is 20/20, I guess? Maybe next year... Thanks for reading and reviewing!_

 _Previously: After a project that turned into disaster (chapters 43-52), Anna decides she needs some time to sort stuff out. Or not. Meanwhile, Radek realizes that time is moving on... and his little girl isn't so little anymore._

* * *

 **Chapter 57. What Little Girls Are Made Of.**

It was raining on the mainland.

The last time Anna remembered standing out in the rain was waiting for her ride home from school. She was in elementary school, so it was a long time ago. She usually went inside at the first sign of any sort of weather at all… even sunshine. She wasn't really an outdoors person.

Teyla, Iskaan, and Jinto, though… they were all very much outdoors people. Dressed in leathers and armed with knives and staffs. Iskaan arranged several knives on his belt, including the one Anna gave to him on their excursion to Delbradia.

"We're going to check our river traps," he said. "Do you want to come?"

"Walking through the woods in the rain is surprisingly relaxing," Teyla added.

"That is what I'm here for. Walking through the woods, I mean. Not relaxing," Anna joked. She was dressed for it as best she could be, wearing jeans and a thick-weave shirt Teyla got for her at a market somewhere offworld. Teyla seemed to like to get people things, especially John and Elizabeth, though Anna got more than her fair share of gifts.

"Good." Teyla started off ahead of them until Jinto caught up. He sprinted through the woods like a little chipmunk. Anna lost sight of him pretty quickly.

Anna fell in step next to Teyla. Iskaan walked on her other side.

"Thank you for inviting me, Teyla," Anna said as they went, listening to the rain patter on the trees' leaves. "I'm glad to get out of Atlantis for a little while."

"Trouble in paradise?" Iskaan asked, looking genuinely concerned.

Anna shrugged. "There was an accident in a lab." She fell silent, hoping Teyla would pick up her slack. Or not. It didn't really matter so long as she didn't have to talk about it right now.

"One of Anna's friends was killed," Teyla offered when Iskaan looked to her for further explanation. "It was not many days ago. We are still grieving."

Well, some of them were, anyway.

"Oh." Iskaan frowned. "I'm sorry." He kicked at some leaves, apparently looking for a subject change. Seeing nothing on the ground that would help him, he looked at Anna. "I noticed you have your throwing knives. Have you been practicing?"

"Yes," Anna said. She pulled out a knife, finding herself smiling when she held it. She tossed it up, then caught it. A month ago, she never would have done that. She would have been too afraid of cutting her hand.

She'd already done that, and it wasn't too bad. She'd been hurt, cut up, and bruised. Broken hearted. Nothing lasted forever.

"Well, let's see it," Iskaan prodded, standing back and pointing at a tree. "See if you can't hit the knot in that tree over there."

It was an older tree, the knot where a branch had been maybe a hundred years ago looked almost like a perfect target. She stood straighter, lining up the knife in her fingers. With a solid, fluid motion, she stepped forward and hurled the knife. She berated herself for the way her foot landed, leaving her off-balance. Ronon would have snapped at her for leaving herself open that way.

The knife hit somewhere in the middle of the knot, though.

Iskaan looked impressed. "I'm not sure you're the same girl that went to Delbradia."

"I'm not sure I am." Anna retrieved her knife and looked back toward Iskaan with a smile.

Teyla seemed equally impressed with Anna's progress. "She has been training with us very hard. I would not be surprised if you could keep up with Athosian children now."

Anna smiled without her own permission. Athosian children were definitely not the level she aspired to as far as intellectual ground, but they were far more competent at surviving. It was something to be envied, just as much as being able to build almost anything with components from a hardware store. Probably even more.

The Athosian children dealt with fear and death as a matter of daily course. Anna didn't know how to survive that, even though she somehow had.

"I'm sure you could," Iskaan went on. "Last time I saw you, I don't think you knew how to hold them correctly."

With that jibe, Iskaan took a sharp turn and slid down a steep embankment leading to a river. Jinto was already there, wading waist-deep in the flowing water.

"I wondered where you all were," he said, pulling on ropes in the river that were tied to trees on the bank.

"Did we have success?" Teyla asked. She pulled a huge crate down from the tree the ropes were tied to. Anna didn't see it until Teyla had it in hand on the riverbank.

"I have three and I haven't checked them all yet," Jinto said. He reached down into the water, coming up with two slick, blue creatures that looked like arachnids… but were only crabs. Or somewhat like crabs, with shining hard shells and what looked like pincers. The creatures' legs creaked as they tried to walk in mid-air in Jinto's hands.

"These are full, too," Iskaan said. He pulled two traps up on the shore. He knelt down to get a better look. "Want to see, Anna?" Iskaan asked.

Anna shook her head, noting the obvious roll of Jinto's eyes as he picked up another crab trap.

Iskaan opened the top of the crate-like structure and reached in with his bare hands. Anna wasn't sure, but it seemed like something someone would want gloves for. He didn't pull out a crab, though. He pulled out a faded and stringy gross-thing with some green water plants hanging off it.

"Time to change the bait," he announced, pitching the whatever-it-was into the meandering river. Iskaan glanced at Anna, laughing when he saw her face. "Bird necks. Not too easy for humans to eat. But the crabs love them."

It was hard to believe that Teyla had been carrying a package of what looked like chicken necks with them the whole time. After unwrapping the meats, she deposited them into the crab traps while Jinto and Iskaan pulled out the crabs.

"Come on, Anna," Jinto goaded. "It isn't any fun if you don't even touch one."

"She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to," Iskaan said.

Anna sighed and looked at Teyla. She was handing the crabs with no difficulty, even looking the animals right in the eye before putting them in her sack.

"Here." Jinto offered her a crab. The creature held two arms up, failing its legs. "You don't even have to get one yourself. Just hold it."

Eying the shimmering creature, Anna carefully held out her hand.

Jinto tossed the crab right at her face and she squealed, skittering toward the bank as she batted the crab away from her face. She regained composure as quickly as possible before glaring at Jinto. "What did you do that for?"

Jinto laughed as though he hadn't seen anything that funny in weeks. Even Iskaan chuckled.

Teyla apparently snatched the poor creature out of the air before it fell. "That was unkind, Jinto." Teyla put the crab into her sack. "You must apologize."

"It was just a joke." Jinto laughed until he couldn't stand anymore. He sat down in the river.

Anna set her jaw, feeling herself blush but there was nothing she could do about it. It wasn't a very funny joke… But apparently twelve-year-old boys were twelve-year-old boys no matter which galaxy they were in.

But Iskaan looked amused as he tried not to look at her. He focused very hard on his box of crabs, sniffing to hold in his laughter.

Anna figured there was only one way to redeem herself. She waded out into the river next to Jinto. She didn't come to another galaxy to play it safe… and crabs didn't seem too threatening.

Jinto looked up at her, still giggling.

She took his crab trap without asking and reached in without looking.

They weren't slimy at all. She held the crab up to look it in the face. If that was a face. Its eyes twitched from side to side, maybe watching her. She put it in Teyla's bag. "We have these on Earth," she said. "But I guess they always look alien."

Teyla smiled, that peculiar smile she had when she was proud or amused. Maybe she was both. "Do you?"

"Yes, but..." Anna leaned in to grab another crab. It got easier to touch them now that she knew what they felt like. "My country does not have any oceans, so our rivers are all freshwater. We have crayfish. Which are like crabs." She paused to look at the crab in her hand. "Sort of."

"Do your people hunt then?" Iskaan glanced up, seeming very interested.

Anna never wished she knew how her country got its food, but had to admit to herself that she had basically no idea how. Farms and ranches, probably. They weren't hunters, though. That was for certain. She wasn't sure if the entire country could be fed on the local deer population.

Or maybe it could. She had no idea.

"No. We don't really hunt. We raise the animals we eat ourselves. And we grow our food," Anna said. "But maybe they were hunters. A long time ago." Maybe everyone was a hunter a long time ago.

"My people once raised livestock, as well," Teyla said. "But they abandoned that when the Wraith began culling again. It was too difficult to move the animals as well as ourselves."

As interesting as that was, Anna was glad when the crabs were all in the bags and the crates were put back into the river with new bait. Jinto carried a bag back up the embankment, and Iskaan shouldered the other. Jinto conspicuously said nothing as they headed back into the woods toward the settlement.

Iskaan stayed back to walk beside Anna when they were securely back under the cover of the branches. "My father and I will be going to Atlantis in a few days," he said. "To trade."

"Oh?" Anna nodded. That might break up her monotonous week if she could find him. It didn't look like she would be doing anything else exciting and… well, that was a depressing thought.

"I was hoping to see you," he said. "Perhaps your mess hall will have cookies."

She glanced at him. He wasn't looking directly at her, but she wondered if his intentions were as obvious as he made them seem. Did he…? Was this how an Athosian asked someone on a date?

She smiled a little. "I think it might. You might even be on Atlantis for my birthday."

"Your birthday."

"Yes. On Earth we celebrate the anniversary of when we were born. Do Athosians do that?"

"Oh, yes…" He grinned. "We throw parties and dance and give gifts. Birthdays are very important to us. I suppose they are important to you, too. Your people seem to value your parties."

Anna nodded, with some reservation. She thought so, too. But it wasn't looking so much that way. "Some of us do," she allowed. "But some of us forget."

#

He'd checked under every book, paper, and tablet in the room. On the floor. Behind the bench. In the sink. It just wasn't anywhere. He needed to figure out if Anna actually could receive the gene therapy, but the thought of it brought on unreal levels of stress for a reason he couldn't figure. Best to get his mind off that.

But if he got his mind too far, he started thinking about other things. If he sat still too long, he might realize he didn't actually want to do anything, because, right now, everything seemed pointless.

Radek was determined to stay out of Doctor Heightmeyer's office. There was nothing wrong with him. But start thinking things like that and then he might start saying similar things. Someone important could notice, and before he could realize what happened, it would be mandatory psych evals and therapy sessions to clog up his already tight schedule.

On the other hand, he acknowledged the potential hypocrisy. He forced Anna to weekly visits with Doctor Heightmeyer for the adjustment to Atlantis and to her mother's death. Even though Anna wasn't depressed… at least not according to all his inadequate knowledge of psychological ailments. She kept up brilliantly with her school work, had no trouble concentrating. She went to bed on time and got up before he did.

Radek had no idea. He worried when he talked to himself like this.

He worried himself when he was angry for no reason. Angry at people and for reasons that were more than just invalid. It was unfair to be so angry at Collins for dying.

But it _was_ unfair. That's all it was.

No, no, stop it.

The last time he'd lost someone on Atlantis, he'd been in distinct mortal danger. The "mortal danger" part, _that_ brought him to Doctor Heightmeyer's office. It was reasonable to be afraid when infected with a terror-inducing, brain-exploding virus. To come within minutes of death from it. He wasn't sure if he was just imagining things when the darkness started crawling on his vision like carpenter ants tearing down a house... or maybe that was what dying was like.

It was reasonable if insomnia was one of the side-effects. It was reasonable even if it lasted weeks…

Insomnia was a legitimate medical malady.

Was it?

Why was this any different? He'd lie awake to puzzle out what he could have done differently. Why he hadn't done differently. He started reading at night until he couldn't see the words anymore. Still couldn't sleep, though.

It was perfectly appropriate to be sad, with Collins so suddenly… gone.

Just gone.

But no one, especially not the doctor herself, would approve of his replacing Doctor Heightmeyer's sage counsel with a glass of alcohol. Probably more than one, considering the number of bottles he had stashed away. Not for an occasion such as this, though.

Never supposed to be for something like this.

Supposed to have someone to drink with.

And Collins was supposed to see Prague. He'd been to another galaxy, but, otherwise, he'd never left the USA in his life. He was supposed to taste a _real_ beer someday.

Staring into the amber abyss was too sobering a reflection, anyway. He'd put it away before he had any. Self-medication was how his father handled things. It wasn't what Radek did. He buried his problems under piles of physics, sometimes fought his problems out between the black and white pieces on a chess board. He stewed in his problems for weeks and months and sometimes years. The closest he got to doing anything about his problems was when he cursed them and the people causing them, if necessary.

Pigeons always listened. Even when he didn't say anything.

It probably wasn't healthy, but it worked. There was nothing he could have done to stop Collins' death. He couldn't have seen it coming, and even if he did, he couldn't have stopped Rodney. Or maybe he wouldn't have. Because he so rarely stopped people from doing stupid things… even on those rare occasions when he tried to, no one listened.

He should just relax and get back to work—and he didn't even have to stop to examine the irony of that thought if he didn't want to. But he couldn't very well get back to work without that cable.

Oh, right. Anna had borrowed it.

Who knew where it was now. Who knew when she'd be back. It was only lunch. He didn't expect to see her until dinner or later. She probably just left it in her room.

Radek opened the door to see her room neatly organized. Anna apparently hadn't inherited his disregard for neatness. Radek wasn't a slob… but he didn't keep things organized all the time, either. She didn't have many things, but what she did have seemed to be everything in its place. The bed was made, pillows arranged artistically on the quilt. The bookshelf held volumes arranged from tall to short. The small desk had only a sheet of folded paper and a pen, an English dictionary, and—there it was. The cable Radek was looking for.

He went to pick it up, but his eyes caught on the first line of the folded sheet of paper, lying mostly open on the desk next to it.

 _Dear Mr. and Mrs. Collins._

Radek set the cable down and picked up the sheet of paper, knowing very well he shouldn't read it. But she hadn't told anyone she had a letter for Collins's family. They were sending the body back to Earth tomorrow… any personal effects and the condolences for the family were to go along with it.

The letter started in Czech, just a sentence offering sympathies.

 _Přijměte prosím moji nejhlubší soustrast._

 _It means "please accept my condolences." I hope you will forgive my English. I am still not good at writing in English since I moved from the Czech Republic to live with my father after my mother died. He works on the same project your son worked on. I have not lived here very long so I have not many friends, but I think Doctor Collins was my first. He helped me with my science homework many times, and I am very grateful. I think Doctor Collins was a better teacher than any I ever had. I am very sorry._

A few lines after that were scratched out, followed by a quick cursive in Czech.

 _I don't know what to say. There is nothing to say when someone dies, is there? People try to tell you it will be okay. They try to say not to be sad, because they loved you and would not want you to be sad. We are supposed to be sad. It means we loved them. It's right to be sad, even if no one else is. Especially if no one else is. I wish Doctor Collins were still here. I wish—_

She stopped there. Her next words turned into frustrated scribbles before she abandoned the note entirely.

Radek set the note down, careful to leave it just as he'd found it. He left the cable, too.

* * *

 _Next time: Listen… this is awkward… but everyone eats._


	58. Sugar and Spice

_Previously: Anna's trying to figure out how to deal with life after a sudden disaster (chapter 52) so she goes for a day-vacation to visit Iskaan, the Athosian from the mainland (whom you may remember from chapters 34-40). Radek doesn't know what to do for her except try to make her birthday okay (since chapter 56)._

* * *

 **Chapter 58. Sugar and Spice.**

"Cupcakes?" Elizabeth smiled. "With purple frosting? That's oddly specific."

"The frosting color isn't too important…" he mumbled.

Radek couldn't imagine what Elizabeth must have been thinking of him right now, but her surprise and amusement was entirely worth it. "You've never requested anything made before and now… Well, I didn't think you were a cupcake person."

"I'm not. Not that I don't appreciate cupcakes." Here he was, getting sidetracked again. "It's Anna's birthday."

The amusement vanished. "It is?" She looked distressed now. "She won't be sixteen, will she?"

"Sixteen," Radek echoed. "This is the first time in years I have been there for a birthday. It's very important, which is why I'm here." And Anna had cupcakes on her birthday. Radek had seen two different birthday pictures, and the only constant was cupcakes. Cupcakes with violet frosting, but one couldn't have everything in the Pegasus galaxy. Even on their birthday.

"Oh, what could be more important than cupcakes?" Elizabeth looked like she'd been waiting to say that for her whole life. "What is it, then?"

Radek took a deep breath. "It is a crazy idea. But Carson thinks it would be good for the data and he assures me it's mostly safe…" Elizabeth waved him on. "What do you think of Anna receiving ATA gene therapy?"

Elizabeth paused to consider that for a long time. So long that Radek was aware he'd been standing in her office for longer than he ever had in the past. She was obviously weighing all the pros and cons with more contemplation than he gave it… which was not a good sign.

"It's a big step," she said finally. "To what end?"

"Her learning." In Sheppard's mind, to fly a Puddle Jumper.

There was more than one reason to receive the gene therapy. Rodney already spoke of teaching her all sorts of things about the Ancient systems and… well, Radek would have loved it if Rodney could teach her that side of things as well. In terms and a reality that Radek would never understand. Radek possessed impressive control of Ancient systems without it, so Anna could learn the systems just fine either way. But with the ATA gene and learning from the very best, like Colonel Sheppard and Rodney? She would eventually surpass him.

Wasn't that what every parent wanted for their child?

"Of course," Elizabeth said with a nod. "Does she want it?"

"I didn't want to ask her until it was approved at all possible levels…"

"I'll think about it, but I don't see why not right now."

That was unexpected. Radek felt slightly deflated. He talked himself out of that feeling quickly. Why did he expect her to say yes immediately? It was something he admired about her, wasn't it? Her methodical, careful process to decision-making. It was a way they were alike. He couldn't fault her for that now.

Besides, she was right. There were things to think about. Things to consider.

"Of course, of course," he said quickly. "Take your time." But he could come up with another suitable gift in the time he had left… just in case. Couldn't he?

What was he going to do now?

Don't panic. That was step one.

"I'd just like to talk to Carson about it. I'll have an answer for you tonight probably?"

Radek didn't know why that was a question, but he nodded, anyway, enthusiastically.

"Good." Elizabeth reached for the work she'd set aside. "Can we meet for dinner?"

He nodded again, so he didn't notice what was happening when he almost choked on oxygen. "Dinner?" he croaked.

What was step one again? Something about panicking?

"I mean, dinner," he finished. "I usually eat with Anna."

"Isn't she on the mainland with Teyla?"

"Oh. Yes, she is."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, a smile pulling at her lips.

"Dinner." He cleared his throat. "Dinner, then."

"Good."

#

Gerald insisted Anna call him by his first name. He wouldn't even tell her his last name. She learned that he grew up in the United States' New England, fishing, crabbing, and otherwise "communing with nature" as he called it. He was an entomologist, and he was apparently having the time of his life creating a bug collection with the Pegasus galaxy's bugs.

"I never thought I'd actually have an alien bug collection," he said. Like he'd contemplated an alien bug collection before coming to the Pegasus galaxy. He seemed strange, if not loveable in his own way. Probably like everyone else on Atlantis.

Also, he seemed to be having the time of his life making crab stew.

"This." Gerald held up a wooden bowl full of spices so that Anna could smell it. She inhaled the rich aroma and smiled, not just for his benefit. "This is the secret weapon," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Secret weapon…?" Iskaan repeated skeptically.

Anna grinned at his response. She was going to make it a point to ask Teyla on the trip back about… Athosian culture. That seemed a reasonable way to frame it.

"It's a blend I made myself from the herbs we have in the botany department," Gerald said. "I don't know anything about plants, but my mama made sure I knew a thing or two about crab soup." He took a whiff of his special creation before dumping it into the pot. "Smell that?"

Anna nodded. It did smell like it might taste good. It smelled pretty strong. She realized a while ago that it was going to be a long time before she had fried cheese again, but this stew looked like something she would have eaten at home. Probably because she loved soups and stews, no matter the season.

"The test run of Pegasus's own Old Bay spice." Gerald looked positively pleased with himself.

Anna had reservations about eating anything with the word "old" in the title. Then again, well, _fried cheese_. She was sure the Athosians would have a hard time comprehending that delicacy. At least Gerald's concoction was, presumably, native to their natural habitat and required no deep frying at all.

Gerald carefully stirred the spices into the soup. "And now, we boil it. But you have to be careful with crab. It's like rubber when it overcooks."

Anna couldn't speak to that one way or another. She excused herself to find some water while Gerald lectured Iskaan on the virtues of a good herb garden. The Pegasus galaxy apparently had at least three varieties of mustard that was better than anything Gerald had seen on Earth. It was criminal that the Athosians weren't using that to advantage.

"Can I help you, Anna?" Teyla asked. She stood under a tent, dicing up something that looked a little bit like a ginger root but smelled nothing like it. Rain dripped down the poles holding up the tarp, and blocked her from the sun that periodically tried to break through the clouds.

"I need something to drink," Anna said. She glanced around. No one seemed to be nearby so… maybe now was the best time. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Teyla seized a nearby pitcher and poured some water into a shallow dish for Anna. "Though I may not be able to answer any questions related to Athosian culinary arts. My cooking skills are limited to chopping vegetables." She looked at her strange root like even that wasn't done right.

"No, it's not anything food-related." Or maybe it could have been food-related. Dinner dates seemed common enough on Earth. Did the Athosians do something similar? "I was wondering about a specific… area… of Athosian culture."

"Oh." Teyla looked momentarily pleased, going back to her chopping. "What would you like to know?"

"I don't know." Anna glanced toward Iskaan and Gerald. Iskaan had plucked a few plants from around the ground at his feet and was showing them to Gerald. "What do… um, how are you…" She hesitated for a long time. "Hm. I don't know what I want to know."

Teyla kept chopping at a steady pace. "Does this question perhaps have anything to do with Iskaan?" She glanced up a moment later, smiling knowingly.

"Maybe," Anna mumbled, blushing. "What are Athosian romantic relationships like?"

"Well…" Teyla started chopping up another vegetable while she spoke. "Quite unlike Earth's romantic relationships, from what Colonel Sheppard tells me. We are mostly concerned with ensuring the survival of our children through strong bloodlines."

"So… coupling isn't for love," Anna ventured.

Teyla seemed to consider that. "My people are typically split into separate groups, to make the cullings less devastating. Sometimes, a young couple will remain together their whole lives for love, but that is not always true." She looked around with a sad look in her eyes. "There are very few children much younger than Jinto in this camp. It has gotten harder for my people to survive, and even more difficult for some of them to see the reason to bring more children into such turmoil, since the Wraith are waking in such large numbers."

The sun finally showed on a corner of the camp. Anna wondered that this conversation veered so far off course. Or perhaps it was on course by Athosian standards…

"But," Teyla interrupted Anna's thoughts. "I believe I answered your question in a far more practical manner than you intended."

"Maybe," Anna mumbled. She picked up a root from Teyla's table and a knife, and started chopping, too. "I wasn't thinking about children." Was Iskaan? This could get very awkward, very quickly.

"He may not be, either," Teyla agreed. "Iskaan is young and he is a very accomplished hunter and trader. Many young Athosian traders go through a period of time when they believe home is not… something to be desired. They want to see what the galaxy may offer."

"Sounds like a normal teenager-thing." At least that seemed normal. Except she was pretty sure she didn't want to fall into a category labeled _What the Galaxy Has to Offer_. The galaxy was not offering her, thank you very much. She slammed her blade through the onion-like vegetable to make sure the galaxy understood. "So, don't put too much stock in Iskaan."

Teyla shook her head. "I do not believe I meant that exactly."

"I only want to know what he's after, I mean," Anna said. "I have no frame of reference."

"A wise precaution," Teyla agreed. "But it may be possible the only way to know for sure is to see for yourself. I cannot tell you what Iskaan is thinking."

Anna felt sure she wasn't ready to navigate a romance of any sort, much less one with an alien culture involved. Anna had wondered what would happen if she went to school in the US, fantasized, however briefly, about dates at such American institutions as the movie theater and McDonald's. She had no idea what Americans did on dates. Granted… she had no idea what a Czech would do on a date, either. She imagined Radek would be secretly pleased to know that.

Sometimes she thought she should get out more. Then she went out and realized it was a mistake. Besides… she was in another galaxy. No one could be expected to anticipate the turn of events. Even small ones.

In any case, relationship with an American seemed manageable in comparison to one with an Athosian.

"Many Athosians have a mind towards family at a very young age. These people may have a family, a child—or even two—before they turn nineteen. Others, such as myself… do not."

"So it's not necessary," Anna said.

Smiling fondly toward a group of men working on raising a large tent, Teyla shook her head. "Perhaps my people are more concerned with love than I give them credit for."

* * *

 _Next time: It's better to say what you need to say before it's too late._


	59. Everything Nice

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought_.

 _Previously: Anna's taking a break from all the cares of Atlantis and finding she might care about something else… Radek's trying to arrange for her birthday (since chapter 56), but when Elizabeth asks him to join her for a meal, he's understandably surprised. He can't sort out the history there (The Siege Part 1, Chapter 40, Chapter 51)._

* * *

 **Chapter 59. Everything Nice.**

Elizabeth looked good in almost anything she wore, including the Atlantis uniform. Granted, she only ever wore the Atlantis uniform, with very few days set aside for anything else. Even holidays. Late at night, though, she went casual by taking her jacket off. She leaned back in her chair, a paperback book in one hand, and a spoonful of vegetable salad in the other.

Radek checked the time. They hadn't set a time, so why did he feel like he was late?

"Good evening," Radek said.

Elizabeth closed her book and motioned for him to sit. "Exciting things happening in the lab?"

He looked for a long moment at the chair Elizabeth invited him to sit in, and then at the rest of the mess hall. The floors were swept and the windows clean. The place was nearly empty. Two scientists sat together near the wall, working on a flow chart Radek peeked at when he walked in.

"Not particularly." Radek put down his tray and took a seat. The chair creaked when he leaned back, but no one seemed to notice it. "Rodney was giving last minute instructions before he leaves tomorrow."

Elizabeth nodded. "Most of the planets they're visiting tomorrow are survey missions only. He might be back by the afternoon."

If Radek had learned anything, it was that nothing was ever routine for the 'gate teams. It made working with alien tech, Ancient or not, look downright predictable. Then there was that scurrilous rumor that Elizabeth and other higher-ups talked about adding Radek to Major Lorne's 'gate team. Apparently, inasmuch as Lorne was replacement-Sheppard, Radek was replacement-Rodney.

He never mentioned this to Elizabeth, or anyone else. He pretended it didn't exist and would deal with it when the time came—meaning, he would keep his mouth shut and do his job. He was getting good at that.

Still, the odds were good that planetary survey missions would yield only information interesting to botanists and geologists, and Sheppard and his team would return as soon as it was deemed safe for the more cerebral members of Atlantis.

"But I was hoping that we wouldn't talk about Atlantis…" she finished quietly.

"Understandable." Radek squinted at Elizabeth's book for a moment, noting that it was a science fiction novel, a yellowed trade paperback with block navy blue letters. "Is it good?" he asked, indicating the book with his fork.

Elizabeth picked up the book, like she had to be holding it to figure out what she thought of it. It was a relatively thin book with a good chunk ripped from the back cover somehow. "I don't know. I picked it up for fifty cents at a second-hand shop. I'm not sure… but I think it's almost a fictionalization of the Book of Mormon." She looked somewhat pleased and amused. She glanced at him with a bright smile. "I never used to read sci-fi. It didn't seem real."

Radek chuckled. He looked at the book and then at her. "It has been a long time since I read a novel." He was probably in grade school, come to think of it.

"Well, you can borrow it if you'd like. I'm not sure how good it is, though." Elizabeth set the book aside and contemplated her salad for half a moment. "I was hoping we could talk."

He hoped the same thing. Hoped they could talk about anything but Anna, actually. Not that he didn't like talking about Anna. But it was all he felt he ever talked about anymore. She was off Atlantis right now, safe with Teyla.

"I hope I didn't speak out of turn. On Christmas," he added, in case he'd spoken out of turn on more than one occasion. Not at all beyond the realm of possibility.

"I wanted to explain." Elizabeth's lack of assurance that he hadn't been presumptuous wasn't comforting. "I wanted to explain why I can't change the way things are now. It's not all about the split focus. I'm in a unique position on Atlantis. No one has the kind of responsibility that I do."

No one seemed to have the kind of responsibility that Radek did, either. No one had Rodney's kind of responsibility. With some exceptions, and those mostly limited to certain life scientists, everyone shared some unique and vital facet of concern for the survival of Atlantis. Everyone else was motivated by self-preservation to a large degree. Radek realized his stake in Atlantis grew more than he cared to admit. He didn't realize a few months ago how much more stress having Anna on Atlantis would add to his already-stressful job.

"And I don't mean just the possibility of Wraith taking over the city. It's much more… personal than that." She slid her book to one side. A chill crept down his spine when she turned her warm green eyes on his. "No one else on Atlantis is faced with the possibility of having to give an order to someone that would send them to their death as much as I am."

 _Collins_. That wasn't her fault. She likely wasn't even thinking about Collins. No one ever did.

"You once told me that we're at war," Elizabeth said. "And in war, there are casualties."

Radek hesitated. However true that was, he didn't remember saying it. It must have sounded pretty good when he did, though, because she remembered it. "Well, that's true…" he allowed.

"At the time you were talking about the information in the Atlantis computer that we couldn't take with us. Just before the Wraith's siege of Atlantis." She smiled a little, probably at the simple fact they'd somehow survived that insanity. "Remember?"

"Hm." Radek remembered. Evacuation plans. The satellite. Grodin, another death that wasn't anyone's fault. Working on McKay's compression ratios into the night. Thinking he couldn't stay awake for three more minutes and working for another twelve hours anyway.

Thinking of Anna. Thinking she was home happy with her mother, wondering why Radek had sent a singular video message after all these years.

It wasn't that long after he found out that she wasn't home happy with her mother at all. She was at his sister's. She was waiting for him.

"We're safe on Atlantis, but once we step through the Stargate, there's war out there. I can't let my personal feelings for anyone change my assessment of what I know needs to be done." She sighed and shook her head helplessly. "If one of the casualties of this war is my friendships, then so be it."

He'd been sure before now; he knew that Elizabeth's job wasn't for the faint of heart and that he probably couldn't do it. He certainly wouldn't want to.

"It's already affected my judgement, as much as I hate to admit it."

"It has?" Radek supposed he wouldn't be able to tell unless he looked over all of her decisions from all time. But even then… decision-making was not some simple either-or question. A complex set of variables interacted with Elizabeth's set of options—options often determined only by her experiences and creativity. Who was to say what contributed to one course of action over another? Sometimes it seemed even Elizabeth had no choice to make.

"Yes. You're a perfect example." Elizabeth paused to cut a slice of tomato.

The moment gave Radek time to figure out how to respond to that—if to respond at all. Should he be flattered? Irritated? He didn't get to think about it further.

"I'm sure you've heard rumors of your placement on Lorne's team."

Radek paled. So, they weren't rumors. Would he be going offworld like Rodney and—no, just Rodney. Few scientists went off world to the wild worlds where they so often found Wraith. Scientists like Radek rarely went anywhere not deemed explicitly safe, and not without an escort devoted solely to protecting them. Rodney often didn't have that luxury.

He had Ronon. That counted as an army sometimes.

"I'm still weighing the options," Elizabeth said, "but I keep coming back to one thing." She squared her vision on him. Took a breath. "Anna."

Just when he thought he'd successfully kept Anna out of the conversation… It made sense, though. He would be lying to say he hadn't considered what would happen to her should—god forbid—something happen to him.

"Anna," he repeated. "I understand."

"Almost everyone has someone, some family of some kind. Rodney has a sister. Collins had his parents. But Anna only has you, and she's still young." Radek watched her sprinkle herbs and Parmesan cheese on her salad thoughtfully. "Don't try to tell me you haven't worried about that."

"I wouldn't, because I have," Radek said. There would be no point in lying, especially since the truth seemed to get him what he wanted: to stay on Atlantis and solely on Atlantis. Whether Rodney wanted adventure or had a death wish made no difference to him. Radek liked his sedentary, relatively safe life. Nevertheless, he bristled at the notion. "But you don't consider Anna my handicap?"

Elizabeth looked appalled. "That isn't what I meant."

"Isn't it?" After all, people tended to think about others' abilities in a largely negative fashion. This was Elizabeth's fear: others would see her relationships as impairing her judgement, her ability to do her job.

"Not at all. I don't see Anna as making you less able to do your job."

"Then why do you think others will see you that way if you have outside influence?" Radek asked.

Elizabeth didn't answer, except to smile a little.

"I like to think that Anna is a strength to me."

Elizabeth seemed to ponder that as she ate. When she was finished, she pushed her plate away and sighed. "Our loved ones can be a source of strength. But we can't deny they're a weakness, too, can we?"

Radek shrugged. He'd almost forgotten where this conversation started, and he had even less of an idea where it was going. "Producing virtually unlimited power creates unmanageable particles in our space-time that could tear the universe apart. Every strength has a weakness."

He glanced up as the two scientists rose, gathered their things, and left, leaving them alone.

Now, perhaps, he could be frank without worry of changing the way the expedition saw her. She just seemed so... _sad_ all the time. Even when she was smiling. It didn't seem like anybody noticed. "Like I said at Christmas, I only want you to be happy." He looked down and tried to figure out whether to go on. "And I would understand if, um…" If—what? If he would never be a part of that happiness? He hadn't been this forward since… well, ever.

It was a crazy thing to think, after all, that he would be. It was crazy.

Elizabeth waited for Radek to straighten out his thoughts for maybe a full minute. "That's a very nice thing of you to say."

Radek looked down, nodded. It was a nice thing. Something no one else was crazy enough to say. Not even her closest friends here, apparently. Not even the people who supposedly cared the most about her, like Colonel Sheppard. Because Colonel Sheppard wasn't crazy.

Not in the same way Radek was crazy, anyway.

"I thought I was going to be strong enough for this," Elizabeth said softly. "I knew after running the SGC for just a few days, that it wasn't as easy as I wanted it to be. But I honestly thought that some of it was difficult because of mistakes that someone else made. I know that's naïve now, because every decision is a mistake."

"They're not mistakes," Radek interrupted.

"No, they are. There are no good decisions here. So much has happened that I didn't expect. I couldn't expect." She hesitated for a long time, but he could tell she was going to keep talking, so he just waited. Waiting for her was better than trying to say something himself. "So much happened back on Earth that I didn't expect, either."

Simon. She was talking about Simon. The man who stayed behind, who left her. Whatever life he had now, he couldn't fathom how much better it could be. He didn't know what he had, and he just let her go. Simon had no idea how lucky he had been, and maybe he'd never know.

It was a common condition, though. One Radek shared. He didn't know how lucky he'd been. He didn't know what he had. Some nights he imagined how much better it could have been.

This was a terrible mistake, wasn't it?

"It has been four months since you and Simon broke up, yes?" he asked.

Elizabeth looked down at the table, nodding while she did. "It didn't seem to take him quite so long to get over me, though, did it?" She smiled a little, ruefully.

"Sometimes we move on to forget how miserable we are."

"Did you seriously pursue another relationship after you divorced?" Elizabeth asked. She looked as confused to say it as Radek was to hear it. Her face flushed from embarrassment. "I'm sorry—that's none of my business."

"No, no, no, it's fine," Radek said quickly. "It doesn't matter anymore. The answer is… no. Not seriously."

He didn't think much about those days. He'd tried dating for a while, perhaps to put a mask on his unhappiness. When he was alone, he was discontented. When he was in company, he was guilty. When time wore off those two feelings, he was too lost in work to find his way out. He woke up one morning and realized he'd been hiding his pictures of Anna and Eliška in a drawer under hi chess board. Hiding wasn't working, and no one stayed long enough to look, either.

"I'm sorry. I should have known better. It's horrible etiquette to talk about past relationships on first dates." She laughed lightly.

"Oh, is this a first date?" Radek chuckled. "I'm underdressed."

Meanwhile he wondered if Elizabeth really meant that or if it was just an observation that didn't necessarily apply to this situation. It was bad etiquette, after all. Or else he'd seriously underestimated the attractiveness of a man floundering helplessly to reconnect with his fifteen-year-old daughter.

Elizabeth blushed again, but she didn't stop her laugh. She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know, Radek."

She sounded so lonely. Atlantis was a lonely place, for all the people here. After all, all of these people were well acquainted and content with making themselves an island. On Earth, most of them were seminal scientists—people to whom precious few could relate. On Atlantis, though surrounded by their intellectual equals, they were still very much alone. Probably because they'd simply gotten used to it. The military personnel had one another to relate to and obviously did well enough in that regard.

But however lonely it was for anyone else on Atlantis, it was for Elizabeth most of all. She was neither knowledgeable enough for the scientists, nor upfront enough for the military. She simply wasn't like the rest of them.

She was unique.

Radek shrugged. "I have nothing better to wear, anyway."

She graciously laughed, but seemed more distressed at what she'd just said than anything else.

Radek leaned forward on the table to catch her attention more securely. He looked into her labyrinthine eyes and reached across the table, not nearly close enough to touch. "Elizabeth, I don't know if you're right about the interaction between your judgement and close relationships. But I am happy to be your friend," he offered, even though he wasn't sure he meant the words just waiting to be said.

He would never be happy with just that, would he?

"Even if nothing else," he finished.

Elizabeth averted her eyes and smiled, took a deep breath. She put her hands on his. "Thank you," she said, so quietly he almost didn't hear.

Maybe he could live with just this, after all.

#

"Your quarters, I believe." Teyla stood outside Anna's door.

"Yes." Anna looked up at the ceiling and then back at the door, as though double-checking this was the correct door, somehow. They all looked the exact same, but she'd managed to only ever try to open the correct door so far. "Thank you for taking me with you." Anna glanced in as the door opened. "Would you like to come in?"

Teyla smiled, shook her head. "No. I must rest. We have a mission early tomorrow."

"Yes. I forgot." Anna waved and stepped into the room. "Good night, then. Sleep well."

"You, as well."

Anna turned toward the empty room, a little hurt that Radek wasn't here waiting for her. Maybe he'd gone to bed already… but that would be silly. It was only ten o'clock and he never went to bed that early as far as Anna could figure. They'd walked past the lab on the way here, and he wasn't there either.

Maybe he really was the kind of person to go to bed early, but hadn't had a chance to until now.

Anna put a kettle on the boiler. Her heart engaged itself in an on-again, off-again panic attack whenever she thought of Iskaan. Maybe tea would help calm her a little.

Anna took her usual seat on the floor in front of the couch and waited for the kettle to whistle. Then the door slid open.

She popped up from the ground. " _Radek. Hello. Where were you?"_

Radek grinned when he saw her. Happier than usual? " _Eating. How was the mainland?"_

" _It was raining, but Gerald made crab soup. It was very good."_ She watched him come into the room, pause to gaze at the kettle as though baffled or very interested, and then continue to the couch.

Radek took a seat, glancing at her with a nod. " _Good, good. I'm glad."_

" _Are you alright?"_ That wasn't quite the question that she wanted to ask, but she didn't know what else to say. He was acting strangely, and she couldn't just come right out and say that, especially since she wasn't sure which way he was acting strangely.

" _Yes,"_ he answered. He went right along before Anna could get a word in. " _By the way, do you have that cable I lent to you? I looked for it everywhere…_ "

" _Oh, yeah, it's in my room. I'll go get it."_ Anna went to get the cable, noticing to her dismay the letter she'd been trying to write to Collins' parents. She was sure there was a deadline for messages of this kind. Maybe she should ask…

But Radek was in such a good mood. She shouldn't ruin it, should she?

She was in a good mood earlier today, too. It wasn't fair that she was, of course. A galaxy away, Mr. and Mrs. Collins wept over the loss of their son. She picked up the cable and went out to the main room.

Radek was at the whistling kettle, pouring the steaming water into a mug. " _Mint or…_ " He paused to smell the other pouch of herbs. " _Is it blueberry?"_

Anna nodded. " _Mint is fine,"_ Anna interrupted. She held out the cable, and they traded the tea for the tech. " _I have a question."_

Radek took his attention from his cable and turned it all on her. " _I may have an answer."_

" _There's a deadline for sending Collins' things back with him?"_ Anna asked. " _Is it tomorrow?"_

Radek nodded, suddenly looking somber. " _Yes. Tomorrow we will have the memorial service and send the casket and his things back through to Earth."_

Anna sighed and nodded. " _I wanted to write a letter to his parents, but I don't think I'll be done in time. It doesn't sound right_."

Radek said nothing. Maybe he didn't know what to say. Or maybe there was nothing to say. The point was, what she had in her letter didn't quite cover everything she wanted to say. Her letter wouldn't change anything. Mr. and Mrs. Collins still lost a son.

" _Maybe I shouldn't write it at all_ ," she finished.

He shook his head emphatically at that. " _No, no, you should. I think they will appreciate whatever you have to say. You were Collins's student. I think they will be happy to know how many people considered him important. Do you need help translating?"_

Anna shook her head. If she was writing a letter, it would be just for the Collins'. And whoever vetted the letters for confidential content before sending them on. " _I will finish it tonight."_ She sat down with her tea and contemplated what she was going to say.

She was sure whatever she said would be fine, like Radek said. After all, saying something was better than saying or feeling nothing at all.

* * *

 _Next time: What am I supposed to say when nothing I could say would make a difference anyway?_


	60. Miss That

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Getting ready for the memorial service (chapter 52; chapter 57-59), Anna had to come back to real life. She doesn't know what to say. And neither does Radek._

* * *

 **Chapter 60. Miss That.**

Anna didn't have anything black. She stood in front of the full length mirror in her room, looking at her darkest blue shirt and her Atlantis slacks. Radek told her that summer lasted all year on Atlantis. Anna didn't think of funerals… why should she think of funerals?

Mom's picture smiled from the frame Radek had given her. Anna rested her elbows on the nightstand to look at it. This was far too many funerals for a single year, and all starting with Mom's. Anna picked up the envelope with the letter to Mr. and Mrs. Collins inside. She carefully wrote their names on the front, and then "upřímnou soustrast" on the back.

Too late, she realized she should have written just plain English "sympathies," but there was no graceful way to turn a _U_ into an _S_.

The main room seemed quieter than usual, even though Radek was there reading. He looked more formal than she'd ever seen him, outside of photographs. Mom used to say he managed to find a suit for their wedding day, but that was the first and last time she ever saw it. He wasn't wearing a suit, but his dark gray jacket and slacks made him look more alien than Atlantis itself. His shirt wasn't dark enough to be legitimate funeral fare, though his pinstriped white shirt was obviously one of only a few non-Atlantis-issue shirts he had.

" _Ready?"_ He took a small step toward her, looking her over carefully. " _Are you alright?"_

" _Yeah. Let's go."_ Anna didn't know if she'd said something or looked some way that gave him the impression she wasn't alright. Because she wasn't, but she was trying very hard to hide that. He guided her out the door and walked beside her to the transporter.

" _You didn't want to take… um, to take him back to Earth, did you?"_ Anna glanced at him.

He shrugged uncomfortably, but maybe it was the jacket. " _It would take me three weeks to get back. I can't go_."

Anna knew that, but she wanted to ask anyway. She knew that Radek considered Rodney a friend, but he was much closer with Collins. At least, it seemed that way. He was giving the eulogy, and that was a pretty important thing, usually reserved for someone close to the deceased. Or someone who could keep their composure. If Radek wasn't the former, Anna got the feeling he was certainly the latter.

" _You can go if you want_ ," she offered.

He arched an eyebrow. " _I would miss your birthday. Among other things_."

Anna felt a little guilty that she assumed he'd forgotten. But he hadn't. He remembered at least a week early.

" _Thank you, but I will stay_." He stepped into the transporter next to her. As soon as the transporter door opened and Anna didn't step out immediately, he looked at her. " _Are you sure you're alright?"_

" _Yes_." She tried to smile lightheartedly. " _I'm alright, really. Let's go."_

On the one hand, she wanted to get this over with. She didn't want to cry, but now was as good a time as any. Other people would probably be crying, too. The 'gate room was filled with people, mostly scientists, but Elizabeth was there, too. A coffin that looked a little too much like a shipping container sat in front of the Stargate, arrayed with wreaths of alien flowers.

Elizabeth approached on one side, reaching out to give Radek a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. Anna wondered if that was odd until Radek offered a half-hearted smile.

"The last time I gave a eulogy was for my mother."

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Elizabeth said. "Are you ready to get started? We're scheduled to dial in a couple of minutes."

Radek nodded, suddenly looking not too ready at all. It was too late to do anything about it. Elizabeth went to the front of the room and called for everyone's attention. Anna watched Radek, watching Elizabeth. He was so nervous he couldn't hide it. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, probably to hide their quivering.

Anna carefully, quickly, patted his shoulder. "Hodně štěstí," * she whispered.

He gave a pained smile, and walked up to the center of the room, in front of the coffin. He looked at it for a few seconds before turning out to the crowd and clearing his throat. He seemed to lose everything he thought to say, until he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

He read a few lines and looked up. "Co můžu říct?" **

#

He didn't know about his beginning, but it seemed sort of symbolic. He didn't know anything about symbolism, but he didn't know how else to appropriately convey this feeling of confusion. He looked at the casket and thought it all had to be some misunderstanding.

Maybe, if he started in Czech, they'd know how he felt. Like they didn't understand why they were here. Get the impression they shouldn't be. Catch the feeling he couldn't shake: that Collins died for nothing. _Nothing_. And he shouldn't have.

"What can I say?" He repeated it in English, in the same tone.

He glanced at Anna, hoping he'd come up with enough words to hide the fact that he was largely inspired by her letter. He just understood it so well.

He realized it was a mistake to be standing here. His English wasn't good enough for this important task. "We came to Atlantis to do great things. We've made friends and enemies, discovered aliens, and visited other planets. We've brought this ten-thousand-year-old Ancient city back to life. I wish I had something to say about this, but I have nothing."

He folded up his sheet. He didn't realize how sharply he'd veered into such depressing territory. It _was_ a mistake. He realized that about halfway through his writing, his attitude changed. At some point, he stopped talking about Collins. He put the page back in his jacket pocket.

"May I be honest?" he asked.

His colleagues looked to one another, confused. This wasn't exactly typical eulogy material, but… well, they were in another galaxy.

Finally, they nodded agreement.

"I don't know how to react when I lose someone I… care about." He didn't know why he hesitated there, but kept going anyway. "Most of you know how last year was interesting for me, so I won't give details. I learned many things last year and I am still. I learned that there's nothing to say."

He glanced at Anna, but tried not to look too long. He wasn't trying to talk to her, after all… but at least he was assured that she understood what he meant. And he hoped she was listening.

"There aren't words for this. I kept asking myself what to say today about Collins without…" Without remembering that he would never drink Czech beer. He would never see Prague.

"Without thinking of everything we missed and everything we will miss now that he's gone." Radek scanned the crowd, just in case Rodney skipped out on his mission to attend. Rodney wouldn't do that, and he hadn't. "I can say this because he's offworld: you all know Doctor McKay is generous in his abuses."

A wave of nods and smiles went through the room.

"Even a good scientist like Collins was not immune. To ease our offence, Collins and I made a deal. Whenever Rodney publicly condescended either of us, the other would buy him a drink. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad to report that Collins and I celebrated innumerable insults this way. And, yes, Kavanagh, this is why we were hungover the day after the alternating reactor test."

Everyone chuckled.

"I will miss that…" Radek didn't know whether that was the response he wanted. Collins simply wasn't appreciated while he was alive. Was there a reason to think things would be any different now that he was gone?

"We will all miss Collins," he said, even though he doubted that. Atlantis survived by moving on quickly. "We'll keep living, and we'll keep doing the great things we came to do. I know he'd want us to do that. But maybe they'll just be a little less great."

Radek didn't know how to finish, so he just turned to the casket. He was used to talking the inanimate. But this was somehow different. He put one hand on the coffin and waited for something to come to him. What would he say if Collins were alive? If he were just going back to Earth?

Radek sighed. Anna was right. There was nothing to say. "Děkuju za pivo."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Hodně štěstí = Good luck

** Co můžu říct? = What can I say?

*** Děkuju za pivo. = Thank you for the beer.

* * *

 _Next time: I could swear I've seen you before._


	61. Oddly Familiar

_Previously: Radek has been preparing for Anna's birthday (chapters 56-59), and it's been a good distraction. Except he's been catching attention he doesn't want (chapter 49 and 59)._

* * *

 **Chapter 61. Oddly Familiar.**

Anna swung her legs back and forth off the gurney. She wasn't too sad. After all, people had jobs to do. No one stopped doing things just because it was Anna's birthday. She didn't expect them to. The fact that Radek remembered her birthday at all felt like a miracle.

"I'm almost sure I'll be back for your birthday," Doctor Beckett said.

Anna giggled. "You don't have to, Doctor Beckett. It's not a big deal if you miss it. I'll still be sixteen whenever you get back."

"I know, but I promised I'd be here." Doctor Beckett shouldered his pack of medical things, including something he seemed very excited about. A Wraith retrovirus, and he finally had a willing subject. A girl, maybe a little younger than Anna. A girl who would be queen but desperately wanted to be human.

Maybe some Wraith weren't so bad after all…?

Anyway, Anna didn't remember him promising anything like that. "We're only having cupcakes."

"I know." Doctor Beckett grinned. "I love cupcakes." He looked around the infirmary. "Alright. Got that. I have…" He proceeded to pat every pocket on his person, followed by pointing at the two enormous bags on the ground. He nodded each time. "Good. I'm ready to go." He looked at Anna as he picked up his bags. "Wish me luck?"

"Hodně štěstí," * she said with a smile. "You look like you're about to go to Antarctica for a month."

"I packed less to go to Antarctica, if you can believe it." He started walking out of the infirmary.

Anna hopped off the bed to follow him, a little sad that she wouldn't have anything to do now except… botany with Doctor Brown. She shuddered.

"I will see you tomorrow. I'm sure Radek has some exciting things planned."

"Radek…? Planning exciting things…?" Anna was unsure about that. She laughed. "We're talking about the same Radek, right?"

"Give it a chance," Doctor Beckett warned. "You never know."

Anna was pretty sure she knew more often than not. He'd managed to arrange for cupcakes, though. That seemed like a serious endeavor. "He said he'd let the city sink before he missed my birthday. So let's hope it's nothing too exciting."

Doctor Beckett smiled knowingly. "Well, I guess we'll see."

Anna paused as Doctor Beckett got into the transporter. "Is there something I should know?"

Doctor Beckett shrugged, grinning in such a way that Anna knew there was something he wasn't telling her.

"What is it?" She got into the transporter with him, not looking out at the Control Room when the doors whooshed open. "Tell me, please? I'll still act like I didn't know."

"Anna, I'm surprised at you."

Doctor Beckett walked out into the Control Room where John and Elizabeth waited for him. John leaped up, looking as relieved as he was antsy.

"Good, you're here. Ready?" he asked. He glanced at Anna. "Happy birthday?"

"Tomorrow," Anna said.

John snapped his fingers. "Damn. A day early. I'll catch you tomorrow." He tucked his thumbs in his pant pockets and looked at Doctor Beckett, his two bags, and the backpack. "Think you have enough stuff, Beckett?"

"This is the first opportunity we've had to study a juvenile Wraith, Colonel. It's better to be prepared." Doctor Beckett waddled down to the 'gate room.

John cast a grin at Anna. They followed Doctor Beckett down the steps to wait for the gate to dial. "There is something sort of familiar about this Wraith girl," John said conversationally. "I don't know what it is. At first, I thought it was because she's about your age, Anna, but… no… It's something else."

"You've met a few Wraith queens," Doctor Beckett suggested. "Maybe that's it?"

"Nah. She's not much like a Wraith queen. Like I said, she's different." John looked at Doctor Beckett and shrugged. "Almost like someone on Atlantis, but I have no idea who. Really familiar. It's actually kinda creepy."

#

Anna quickly got bored of sitting around in Radek's lab waiting for something exciting to happen. Nothing exciting ever seemed to happen there, and her mind ran with the imaginings of what a Wraith girl was like in the meantime.

It distracted her from her birthday tomorrow.

Another typical, dull day on Atlantis. People buzzed through the control room, carrying reports to be finalized or approved. A few scientists had more tangible fruits of their labors, and botanists sometimes had literal fruit. At one time or another, it seemed like everyone went through the Control Room to show that their time here was worthy.

Anna was beginning to wonder if hers was spent so well.

She didn't have any real friends and she'd been here for several months. It was January now, January eleventh, which meant that she'd been here a little over three months or so. She lost track somewhere along the way, but the combination of Christmas and New Year's put her calendar back into focus.

She hadn't made any New Year's resolutions, though Elizabeth encouraged her to. Anna couldn't think of anything she wanted to change that she had any control over whatsoever. There wasn't all that much she wanted.

She wanted a friend.

She didn't realize it, but she enjoyed going to school and talking to people. Even if they were people she didn't like all that much or who didn't seem to like her. Even though Anna hoped she would not be returning to her school in the Czech Republic, she didn't bother saying goodbye or giving contact information to any of her classmates.

She wondered if they ever thought of her like she was thinking of them, now.

Probably not. They had lives to go about. Anna didn't. The most important thing to happen to her in a while was her birthday. Before that it was a funeral. Before that, it was another funeral.

And somewhere in the middle, she'd gone to another galaxy.

"May I sit down?"

Anna smiled up at Elizabeth and nodded. "It's a good view," she offered as Elizabeth sat down on the floor at the edge of the balcony next to her.

"It is. It looked comfortable, too." Elizabeth chuckled and rested her arms on the bar in front of her. "Tomorrow is your birthday, then…" Anna realized just in time it wasn't a question and waited for Elizabeth to go on. "Are there any gifts you hope to get?"

Anna shrugged. "I don't know what kind of gifts are available in the Pegasus galaxy, so, no." She smiled at Elizabeth. "I am grateful for the cupcakes, though."

"I'm glad." Elizabeth turned her eyes toward the Stargate. "Cupcakes seemed like a safe bet. Everyone likes cupcakes. But do you have a favorite dessert?"

Anna remembered back to earlier birthdays. "I really like cupcakes. I had cupcakes on my birthday for as long as I can remember." And somehow, someone somewhere had known that.

"Oh." Elizabeth nodded knowingly. "Well, I hope you like them, and your gifts."

Elizabeth kept her eyes on the 'gate, looking as happy as anything. Anna leaned back on her hands and looked at the 'gate. She was getting a gift… of some kind. She couldn't possibly guess what it was. But it was something exciting to Doctor Beckett and at least interesting to Elizabeth.

She could only safely guess one thing. In the Pegasus galaxy, it could only be a birthday gift like she'd never seen before.

#

Radek spun around, pushing his chair over to the adjacent desk. No one was here at the moment, giving him plenty of space and freedom to do what he wanted. No one to run into, no one to scold him for acting like a child. He had the brief thought that Collins might be interested in a drink later. Radek could have a drink, toast everything they'd lost recently, and wonder when he'd stop expecting Collins to show up in the morning.

Until the major walked in. Radek recognized him, but the only thing that came to mind about him was his rank. Couldn't quite find his name. Radek spun the chair toward him. The major stood, all confidence and conviction, in the doorway like he belonged there. Radek checked to make sure he was the only one in the lab. He was. Maybe the major was lost?

"Can I help you?" Radek asked.

"Is this Lab 02?"

Sure enough, that was Radek's computer. A picture of Anna sat framed underneath the most prominent monitor. "Yes…"

"You're Zelenka."

Radek wasn't sure why that sounded like an accusation. An accusation Radek was usually less hesitant to own up to. Although, the major didn't remember Radek's name, so he felt slightly better for having no idea what his name was. Maybe they'd met, maybe they hadn't. The point was neither of them considered the other important enough to remember.

"Yeah," he said, and stood. "That's me. Doctor Radek Zelenka."

"Doctor Zelenka." The major graciously corrected his lack of salutation, putting emphasis on the title this time. Still, he looked the slightest bit irritated as he gave Radek a once-over. "Major Evan Lorne."

Radek nodded. Right. Of course. He recognized him. He'd remembered this face with the name when he and Elizabeth were talking before… about science team members on offword reconnaissance teams…

Oh, god.

"Doctor Weir told me no decision had been made yet about putting a scientist on your team."

"There still hasn't. And, to be honest with you, I'd like to keep things the way they are. But I also figured I should meet you before any decision is made." And size him up, apparently.

That seemed reasonable to Radek, though. He wasn't even mad that what Major Lorne saw before him obviously did not impress.

"To be honest with you," Radek echoed, "I'd also like to keep things as they are."

"At least, we agree." Major Lorne grinned.

He stepped into the lab, walking like his field gear weighed him down when he was, in fact, carrying nothing. Not even in a flak jacket, which was how Radek was used to seeing him. Right now, he was dressed in the standard military black shirt, with the chalkboard-blue slacks. He glanced around the lab. "This came up earlier, before I got here, but you weren't even on the short list until recently."

"I wasn't?" Radek wondered what had changed. If something had changed.

"Yeah. I guess you caught someone's eye." He continued his self-guided tour around the lab.

Radek was too busy to offer him any pointers on the organization of the Ancient and other alien tech arrayed about the lab. Too busy trying to figure out whose eye he caught and how he could un-catch it. He was used to being more-or-less invisible. When he wasn't invisible, he was being ridiculed. As much as he hated it on one hand, he couldn't possibly let it go, either. It was far too convenient.

Major Lorne, unlike other meddling military personnel Radek had met, kept his hands off all the shiny bits and pieces of Ancient history scattered around. He halted his steps next to a desk, hands on hips, and observed a winking bit of circuitry on the desk, miraculously, without touching it. Maybe he already learned that lesson: touch the shiny artifacts, get yelled at.

He looked up at Radek. "I have my doubts," he announced.

"Me, too." Assuming that they were talking about the same thing: Radek's ability to join an offworld reconnaissance team. Not the absolute last thing he wanted to do, but it was definitely not on his to-do list. "I assume there are tests I have to complete."

Major Lorne sniffed to hide laughter. "Right, yeah, tests. I'm pretty sure McKay consistently misses his combat shooting marks, but they keep him on."

"That can't be…" Radek mumbled.

"He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside it," Major Lorne said, as if it were a matter of fact. He found it amusing, sure, but he didn't have any disdain for Rodney because of it. "But it's not his job to be able to headshot a Wraith drone."

Radek knew that. Of course. If that was Rodney's job, he would have starved to death ages ago.

Radek couldn't help but think that Major Lorne hid some sort of disrespect or, at least, disregard for Atlantis's scientists. Perhaps he considered them members that didn't pull their own weight. After all, scientists couldn't go anywhere without escorts. They were typically more interested in plants, rocks, and ruins than anything else. They were notorious for not paying close attention for anything that might kill them.

But that was Lorne's job. Lorne and people like him.

Lorne spent a lot of his time escorting scientists from one planet to another, forced to recognize they had a use without understanding exactly what that use was. The major was new to Atlantis, but from what Radek understood, he held the same sort of opinion for the SGCs anthropologists and other cultural experts.

He wouldn't know Radek held that view in common.

"But Rodney has the ATA gene," Major Lorne finished.

Radek could have laughed. For all the good it did Rodney. Of course, it made things more convenient. Sometimes. Rodney could technically fly a Puddle Jumper, but most people insisted on another pilot if they wanted to go anywhere in a straight line. He couldn't be trusted with a Puddle Jumper, but he was getting to the point of translating almost anything Ancient or Wraith. He couldn't aim his gun correctly, but he could snatch his team back from the brink of destruction with some uncommon technical voodoo.

Radek didn't want to have to aim a gun; he didn't want to be anywhere near the brink of destruction. For once, not having the ATA gene looked like it might have just saved his life. Except… for some reason… he felt his professional pride threatened.

He was just as capable as Rodney without it, wasn't he?

"Having the ATA gene is one thing. Not everything Rodney does requires the gene. Most of it doesn't." Why was he saying this? Radek, just shut up and leave it alone. He doesn't want you on his team and you don't want to be on his team. "The ATA gene only allows for the activation of Ancient technologies. It doesn't grant any special knowledge or anything. That comes with experience and study. Rodney studies these things as much as I do. There are some things I cannot use, such as the personal shield we found early on. But there are many more things that don't require the gene."

Lorne smirked, folded his arms over his chest. "You seem a little eager."

"I'm not." Radek looked back at his computer with a sigh. "But even the most experienced Atlantis team members don't really understand the ATA gene."

"And you do?"

"More than some, yes. Which goes to show you need more than the gene on your team." Radek glanced up to see Major Lorne's grin. "I'm not what you need on your team, Major. But you need more than the gene."

* * *

 _Next time: Feel any different?_


	62. Alteration

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: It's Anna's birthday. Radek is ready for this! (Chapters 56-59)_

* * *

 **Chapter 62. Alteration.**

Anna sighed and set her fork down. " _Are you ever going to tell me?"_

Radek glanced around the mess hall. He pointed to himself. " _Are you talking to me?"_

Anna glared. It was _funny_ , because they were speaking Czech. At least, what counted for funny in Radek's reprotoir. She gave a forced, sarcastic laugh. " _Ah-ha. That one never gets old."_

Radek chuckled and picked up his toast. Somehow, Anna wasn't sure how, they'd gotten some rye bread shipped in from Earth. It was like a taste of home. " _It's eight in the morning. You don't want to have every surprise so early, do you?"_

" _The cupcakes aren't a surprise,"_ Anna mumbled dejectedly.

" _No, but the bread is."_ Radek just grinned as he skimmed something on his tablet. The lines scrolled past way too fast for Anna to see what he was reading. Probably something having to do with work. Even when he wasn't working, he was.

" _You did not get a bunch of rye bread sent from Earth for my birthday_."

" _What if I did?"_

" _You did not!"_ Anna hoped not, anyway. Because that would be weird. She imagined telling Iskaan this later. He'd ask what gifts she got on her birthday and she'd say something like, _Bread_. On the other hand, maybe bread was considered an excellent gift to an Athosian. Anything was possible when hunter-gatherer aliens were involved.

" _No…_ " he admitted. " _I didn't. But I should have. It would have been a good idea."_

That was true. It might have been a birthday gift that there was still some left when they finally came down to breakfast. Anna hadn't slept in this late in ages. And she didn't think that Radek had either. They would have been done eating probably forty-five minutes ago if Anna hadn't waited for Radek to get up… but it was his day off, too. He didn't get many of those. Besides, Anna liked the idea of lazing around, reading, on her birthday. Even though she felt she could do that almost any day.

She scraped a drop of jelly off her plate with her finger. It wasn't technically peach jam, but it was incredibly close in taste. The only difference seemed to be that it was… green… It took a while to get used to.

" _You're not inspiring confidence for my actual gift…_ " Anna muttered.

" _Please, do not get so excited. I'm not even sure if the gift will work. This is the Pegasus galaxy. We have to make use of what we have."_ He glanced at her empty plate and then at his. " _Done?"_

" _Yeah_." She stood up next to him and picked up her plate. " _I still want to know. You're driving me insane_."

" _Oh,_ miláčku _, I wouldn't do that to you_." But his grin said he would. He most certainly would, and he was enjoying it. " _Not without necessity, anyway. There are a few things that need to be in place before you can get your gift_."

Anna put her plate up to be washed while she contemplated what that could mean. He led her into the transporter and they walked out into the Control Room. Anna was momentarily jarred until she realized that Radek said yesterday he wasn't going to the lab today. He wasn't working, and he promised. Because it was her birthday.

But sometimes, even when he wasn't working, he went to the lab anyway.

Elizabeth looked up from the other side of the control room. "Všechno nejlepší k narozeninám, Anna!" * she said from across the room. Chuck looked up at her like she'd just something not meant for the ears of children.

Elizabeth said it very well, though. Anna wondered if Radek had coached her on the pronunciation or something. "Thank you." She went over to the console to see what Chuck was doing. Nothing too exciting, but she saw the corner of his sketch book sticking out underneath his console. He leaned over to pull it out when she approached.

"Happy birthday," he said, pulling a sheet from between the pages and handing it to her.

Radek excused himself to talk on his radio. Apparently to Doctor Beckett.

Anna turned the page to face her. It was a very good pencil drawing of a violin leaning against the Stargate. The constellation rune next to the violin was the symbol for Earth: the caret symbol with the dot above it. Due to the orientation of the Stargate and the symbols on it, it was upside down, but it was still clear to make out.

Anna smiled, careful not to bend or wrinkle the page. "Thank you. It's beautiful."

"Sixteen, huh…" Chuck shook his head. "Big day."

Not really. But Anna didn't say that. She wasn't eighteen, she wasn't American or Canadian, and even if she were, Radek wouldn't let her drive a car yet. Maybe not for a million years. He didn't want her going offworld anymore. Ever. Not after that thing with the dogs and then… Collins.

"Yeah," she said anyway. "I'm excited."

"You should be," Elizabeth said. "Today is a big day. We're going to watch Star Wars aren't we?"

"In the conference room?" Chuck asked, looking hopeful. "I mean… I won't ditch my shift to watch. I'll just make sure the Rebels win at the end."

Anna laughed a little. It wasn't as much fun to watch films in English, since she had to concentrate more than usual to understand what they were saying, but she'd seen it more than once in Czech so she was very familiar with the story. If only she knew that it might have been preparing her for a life in a galaxy far, far away…

"After we go see Doctor Beckett," Radek interrupted. He stepped back into the conversation and glanced at Elizabeth with a raise of his eyebrows.

Anna looked at him askance. Doctor Beckett wasn't part of the plan as far as she was concerned. Maybe he wanted to see Star Wars?

"He wanted to wish you happy birthday," Radek explained. "But he is working today."

"Have fun," Chuck offered. "We'll hold down the fort for you, Doctor Weir."

"Thank you, Chuck." Elizabeth patted Chuck's shoulder and slid around the console to stand next to Radek.

They walked to the transporter together. Anna lost track of the conversation somewhere between the Ancient shields and automatic lighting malfunctions in the lower tower. Someone else could handle the malfunctions, but heaven forbid Radek should miss out on an exciting system failures on his day off. Even Elizabeth sounded unduly excited about it.

Anna slid ahead into the infirmary. Doctor Beckett stood to one side, talking to Doctor Cole. He paused when he saw her, gave her some last minute instruction, and grinned widely. "I told you I'd be back for your birthday, didn't I? So, všechno nejlepší." * He picked up a small white and purple flower and a small box on the way to her. "Teyla tells me this is a friendship flower on some worlds. It also alleviates a headache if you chew on its petals. I'm not sure if that's some sort of symbolism about talking to your friends to vent or something…"

"Díky." ** She pulled the lid off the box. "Chocolate?"

"It's popular around here, so be careful with it," Doctor Beckett warned with a joking grin. He glanced up to Radek.

"Alright, Anna." Radek looked around as though avoiding her eyes. "I told you that there were some things that needed to be in place before you could receive your gift. I guess they're in place. So here we are."

Anna glanced around. "My gift is in the infirmary…?" Radek sure knew how to hide birthday presents, that was for sure. "Why?"

"Because…" Radek sighed and looked directly at her. Like he was having second thoughts about this gift. "Because it's the ATA gene therapy."

"Really?" Anna almost squeaked. Maybe she did squeak. She figured it was allowed.

Her response prodded a chuckle from Radek, even though he looked just as nervous. Elizabeth only smiled in response.

"Really, ATA gene therapy?" she repeated, looking at Doctor Beckett.

Doctor Beckett nodded, also looking pleased. "Remember, Anna, the odds aren't fantastic that it will work on you. It didn't work on Radek."

"But that doesn't mean it won't work for me," Anna interrupted. Better to think happy thoughts right now. She was going to be very, very disappointed if this didn't work, of course. But she didn't think she would ever forget the time Radek set aside his fears to let her get a Puddle Jumper permit.

That's basically what it was. A license to fly a Puddle Jumper.

"No, it doesn't…" Doctor Beckett almost laughed. "Just try not to get your hopes up too high. Alright, come sit down over here before you burst."

Anna didn't quite know what to do. She hesitated between Radek and the bed Doctor Beckett had indicated. Quickly, she wrapped Radek in a hug, and skipped to the bed before he could return it. Before he could react at all, really.

She rolled up her sleeve. "How soon will we know if it worked?"

"Ah, we should know pretty soon. The amount of time ranges, but the minimum is about four hours. And Colonel Sheppard has the rest of the day off to give you your first Puddle Jumper lesson if I've heard things right…" Doctor Beckett gave Radek a glance over his shoulder as he prepared his needle.

Anna had seen smaller blades of grass than the needle Doctor Beckett was handling right now, but it didn't matter. It was just one poke with a needle and then… maybe… Puddle Jumpers. She closed her eyes and then opened them.

She always watched needles. She used to be terrified of needles, but she started watching them when her mother got sick. She wasn't afraid anymore.

"I'm ready," she whispered.

Doctor Beckett chuckled and tied a piece of rubber around her bicep. The alcohol felt cool on her skin and—a moment later—the needle stuck the bend in her elbow.

She watched with morbid fascination. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be," she said, still focusing her eyes on the place on her arm where the needle went in. "I thought it was really going to hurt, but it almost wasn't as bad as any other kind of shot."

"I'm glad." Doctor Beckett removed the needle, holding gauze over the prick and setting the needle aside. Then he wrapped up the gauze. "All right. Off you go. Remember, just because it's in your blood doesn't mean you know how to use it."

"Thank you, Doctor Beckett!" Anna threw her arms around him.

He seemed surprised, but he returned the hug. "Ah, it's nothing, really. Don't thank me until we know for sure. You really should thank your dad and Doctor Weir." He patted her shoulder. "I hope you have a very happy birthday, and it only gets better from here."

"It will…" Anna said. "I can feel it."

#

Radek didn't know what to hope… Anna would be sorely disappointed if it didn't work, of course. Radek knew exactly how that was, though, and he'd been perfectly fine. Well, with variable definitions of "perfectly" in this instance, he was certainly not much worse for wear. Sometimes intensely jealous, but he got by. He realized—or decided—early in his life that genetics weren't required to be one of the best. Genetics made it easier to get started. After that, it was all hard work and dedication.

Was that what he was going to say when the gene therapy didn't work?

"When will Colonel Sheppard be done?" Anna asked. She stared at the chess board in front of her. "I don't mean to be impatient," she added hastily. Probably because Radek already reminded her that Sheppard was very generous to offer to give her flying lessons at all.

Sheppard apparently had his usual off-day work-out regimen to complete.

"If you're not careful, I might beat you," Elizabeth joked, studying the chess board. She wasn't very good at chess, but Anna seemed to be obliging her by not taking the easiest routes to victory.

Anna glanced at the board and shrugged as though that were a possibility. "You might."

Then she glanced at Radek.

What if the gene therapy did work? Now, that was a terrifying thought. If it did work, Radek would be sitting in the back of a Puddle Jumper later while Sheppard gave her the first lesson in Puddle Jumper piloting. They let Rodney fly those things—they'd probably let anyone with the gene fly one.

"He'll call us when he's ready. You know what he does to keep in shape better than I would." Well, for now she did. His perfect life in Atlantis seemed to be crumbling. He could think of nothing else.

Not that Anna having the gene would change that. But his being on a reconnaissance team would. Then he might have to turn some of his attention to being more fleet on his feet than he was currently. Obviously, Rodney didn't put much more effort into physical fitness, but he could run away from danger as well as anyone.

For all the running Ronon did, he probably never fled peril quite like Rodney.

"I know that he runs a couple of kilometers with Ronon and then he works out with Teyla…" Anna put her forehead on the table. "I'm going to die."

Elizabeth laughed.

"Don't be so dramatic." Radek rested his elbows on the table and studied the board. It was Elizabeth's turn.

She really was in a difficult position. It probably wasn't possible for her to win now, but she certainly wasn't giving Anna much to think about. "May I?" Radek asked her.

Elizabeth gestured at the board. "Please. I was never much for board games."

"Board games?" Radek sniffed and reached for the bishop. "It seems rude to relegate chess to the same category as Candy Land…" he muttered.

Anna gasped and her head popped up. "Švindlování." *** She watched him slide the bishop across the board, effectively disrupting any plans she might have been making. "Elizabeth was playing fine, Radek. She doesn't need your help."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows in surprise at Anna. "I think you just wanted an easy win." Elizabeth offered Radek a half-grin.

"No," Anna pouted. She stared at the board again. "I just want to know if the ATA gene took." Anna touched the top of one of her pawns and then decided against it. Then she looked up suddenly. "It's not really fair, though. I don't think anybody in the city can beat him."

Radek smiled a little pridefully. "You've come close."

"Liar and a cheater, then," Anna threw back.

Radek frowned, but he couldn't really be angry. He waved at the board. "Enough excuses."

Elizabeth glanced at Radek. Then she reached for her ear. "This is Weir."

Anna sighed and moved one of the pieces.

Radek knew that look on Elizabeth's face. He imagined it was one he used often. He hated being called away from spending time with Anna… or anyone he said he would spend time with. Not that the latter happened with any frequency.

"I need to go to the Control Room," she sighed after giving whoever was on the other end of the radio the affirmative. "I'll be back soon, though. Hopefully in time for cupcakes." Elizabeth stood, but didn't walk off immediately.

Radek scanned the board with a small grin. Alright, so maybe Elizabeth wasn't in such a bad position after all. Sort of like the ATA gene. Even the people who had it didn't always know how to use it. Radek contemplated Elizabeth's knight for a moment.

"Take your time," Anna mumbled. She put her forehead back on the table while Radek decided on his turn for Elizabeth's game. "I'll just be here. Dying."

Radek moved the knight. "Check."

"Švindlování!" ***

* * *

 **Czech Things**

First, I could swear that a few weeks ago I got lost in the labyrinth that is the internet looking at Czech board games (?) and I decided from that whole rigmarole that it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that Radek would know what Candy Land is. Either that or it was Snakes and Ladders, which is basically a worldwide thing. However, any Czech readers that I have... what are some children's board games that you have? I must know. Research purposes.

* What you say for a Czech birthday, like "happy birthday." I have no idea what it literally means. I just know that's apparently what you say for birthdays.

** "Thank you." Informal. So, I guess, like "thanks."

*** "Cheating."

* * *

 _Next time: This is still torture._


	63. Have What It Takes

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought_.

 _Previously: Anna's birthday. That's pretty much it._

* * *

 **Chapter 63. Have What It Takes.**

The cupcakes didn't seem to help. There were four left, perfect with violet frosting and sprinkles in the shape of flowers. Radek had no idea who made them, but the people of Atlantis seemed to have strange hobbies. Maybe there was a 'gate technician who dreamed of opening a pastry shop in retirement.

Radek needed to get himself a hobby. Raising pigeons was one of those weird, not-very-useful things he did with his time. A while ago. He enjoyed it, but he couldn't imagine it being helpful. Even in retirement.

Who was he kidding? He wasn't going to retire. He figured he was going to die slumped over a bunch of papers littered with equations and diagrams. In large handwriting, because if his eyesight was bad now…

Why did birthdays these days lead to such macabre thoughts?

Because it was better than regretting the outcome of this birthday, probably.

In retrospect, he should have waited for the ATA gene therapy until Sheppard was ready to give the Puddle Jumper lessons. On the other hand, how in the world was he supposed to know that he would run amok of some sort of medical-thing on his mission last night?

Maybe the better question was how did he _not_ predict that?

They'd watched _Star Wars_. They ate cupcakes. They played a few games of chess and Anna took Radek to see a section of the city that Radek hadn't seen before. It was some sort of central gathering place with a defunct fountain in the center. They had dinner and Anna ate her chocolate.

They were playing chess again.

This was the worst birthday ever.

" _I'm sure Colonel Sheppard will come soon_ ," Radek offered.

" _Maybe he forgot?"_ Anna somehow sounded hopeful about that.

How was being forgotten a better outcome? Radek guessed he'd prefer to not be forgotten and have some strange extenuating circumstances hold someone back. Like being in another galaxy at the critical time…

Maybe that wasn't better. How did he know?

He'd almost forgotten Christmas, and that was almost unforgivable. He'd been in another galaxy when his ex-wife died and… well, that was almost unforgiveable, too. Couldn't win around this place.

"Beckett to Lab Two. Radek? Are you there?"

So it was a personal call. Radek couldn't imagine what was keeping Colonel Sheppard and, frankly, a call from Doctor Beckett was almost what he expected at this point. Radek leaned back in his chair to pick up the radio from the desk. He hooked it in his ear and answered, "Yes?"

"Ah, I've got bad news…" Carson said quietly, as if Anna might hear him through the radio or something. "Sheppard was infected with the Wraith retrovirus on the mission yesterday and he's not taking kindly to it. I'm afraid he'll have to reschedule flying lessons."

Radek sighed. "Yeah, okay. Thanks."

Carson apparently felt about the same way. "I feel terrible about this. But it's better to be safe than… Well, we'll know tomorrow whether the virus is breaking down in his system or no, but I don't think it would be safe to let him fly a Puddle Jumper in his condition."

"Is he alright?" Radek asked the question, but he was surprised how little he cared about the actual answer. Sheppard was usually fine. In fact, it was hard to imagine Sheppard anywhere but in danger. It was a constant state of being for Sheppard, like Radek spent most of his time thinking.

And now he was thinking about how disappointed Anna would be.

"Oh, I think… I don't know," Carson mumbled. "We'll see. Tomorrow."

"Alright." Radek was keenly aware of Anna's eyes on him as he wished Carson good luck and set the radio aside. He leaned his elbows on the chess board. He looked past the pieces, past the checked board.

" _What's wrong?"_ Anna asked. " _You have to work?"_

Radek shook his head, looking toward the ceiling. First time in his life this would ever happen.

Next time he looked down, he noticed that Anna could put him in check in four moves if he kept playing the way he had been. He must have been more nervous about this whole "learning to fly a Puddle Jumper" thing than he thought.

" _I don't have to work_ ," Radek said. " _Colonel Sheppard got infected with a strain of retrovirus on the mission last night. We'll have to go for another day of Puddle Jumper lessons."_

Anna nodded immediately, but it was easy to see how completely disappointed she was. Radek could almost feel it himself. He wasn't usually this empathetic, was he? On the other hand, this was something he'd literally already done himself. He remembered quite well his day of wondering whether the ATA gene would take.

When he finally decided at three in the morning it wouldn't.

Probably felt something like that. All the disappointments in his life, and that was certainly one of the most potent.

" _Come on."_ Radek stood up and motioned for her to follow.

Anna looked at him, then at the board. " _Is this just because I'm winning?"_ She grinned.

He chuckled. " _No."_ Winning was a little generous. He probably could have gotten out of that mess he'd gotten himself into. He still had both his knights. " _I can't teach you how to fly a Puddle Jumper, but we're going to go see if you can_."

" _We are?"_ Anna looked skeptical.

Radek wandered through the hallways to the Jumper Bay. Why was he nervous like this? His heart was pounding like the first time he walked through the Stargate. The test trip to the Alpha Site meant to assure no one went to Pegasus completely cold. Coming out into the Air Force base on a faraway planet was no comparison to skipping across their galaxy to another, though.

And, so far anyway, nothing was more terrifying than the idea Radek potentially handed his sixteen-year-old the keys to a spaceship.

He opened the door to Jumper Four and waited for her to go inside. " _Take a seat_." He motioned to the pilot's seat. He never sat there, not even to work on the Jumper.

Anna sat down and looked at the controls. " _This looks complicated…_ " she mumbled.

" _It is complicated_." Lest she think space travel was easy. " _Alright. I don't know exactly how it works. Colonel Sheppard says he has only to think about what he wants the Puddle Jumper to do and it does. It's considerably harder for Rodney, but I've never seen anyone else have as much difficulty as he does."_

" _John told me he has to… clear his mind or something_."

Radek almost quipped that explained a lot, but held himself back. It was probably a lot easier for Sheppard to clear his mind than—no, Colonel Sheppard could have been Mensa. He could put Rodney in his place sometimes.

But Rodney didn't know how to not think. And not thinking was a lot harder than thinking.

" _So I just… think for it to turn on?"_ Anna asked.

" _Yes."_ More or less, as Radek understood it anyway.

" _I don't feel any different…_ " Anna mumbled, sounding a bit dejected.

Radek sighed. Maybe he should get all the gene carriers in here right now, give them a crash course on what it meant to have the gene. And then impress upon them how stupidly lucky they all were. " _You won't. The ATA gene lets the ship sense you, not you sense the ship_."

" _Oh…_ " Anna closed her eyes.

Radek imagined she was trying to clear her mind. Radek tried to clear his mind, too, just to see how long it took, or even if he could do it. It must have been really difficult to fly this thing with Wraith darts in pursuit. How was one supposed to maintain that stillness with death just waiting to happen? Sheppard seemed to be a natural.

Suddenly, the Puddle Jumper hummed, the console in front of Anna lit up.

Anna's eyes popped open. She grinned at him.

Radek smiled, too. Sort of. _Your teenager will be flying a spaceship tomorrow_.

#

Radek made her turn off the Puddle Jumper a second later. But it didn't matter. It worked. The gene took. She could only barely contain her excitement.

She never wanted to jump up and dance before, not for anything, but she almost wanted to now. She didn't care what happened for the rest of the day. She didn't care what happened tomorrow or the day after.

This was the best birthday ever.

" _I hope that Colonel Sheppard is okay_ ," she said, for the moment too excited to be concerned that anything was too terribly wrong with Colonel Sheppard.

Radek, on the other hand, seemed concerned. " _So do I_." Maybe it was about Sheppard.

Maybe it wasn't. Anna had the feeling that he was beginning to regret letting her take the gene therapy. After all, he was danger-shy when it came to her. And himself. He wasn't doing anything dangerous, after all. Nothing but sit in his lab most of the time.

" _Anna, I have something to tell you_ ," he said suddenly. " _I'm not sure if anything will come of it, but I wanted you to know before any decision had been made… It will change things around here_."

Anna snapped her mouth shut and turned Puddle Jumper's pilot chair toward him. " _What is it?"_ she asked.

" _Doctor Weir told me they're looking at adding me to a reconnaissance team. Like what Rodney does with Colonel Sheppard_ ," he said.

Anna smiled. That seemed almost exciting as having the ATA gene therapy actually take. She tried to be sensitive about that now, though. Since she was thinking about it, it hadn't worked for him. Anna couldn't imagine how jealous she'd be if she was in his place.

Then again, he was offered a position on a 'gate team. That was neat, wasn't it?

" _That's good!"_ She managed to wipe the smile off her face when she saw his. " _Isn't that good?"_

He shrugged. He seemed to be thinking it was good in one way and not so much in other ways. " _It means I will be busier than I am now,"_ he said. " _I will be offworld sometimes."_

He didn't mention danger. That was unusual. Maybe he wasn't thinking about that.

No, he was certainly thinking about danger. He always thought of danger. Maybe he wasn't mentioning it for her benefit. " _It will also be more dangerous, probably_ ," she offered, to save him the trouble on saying it himself.

He nodded. " _Most likely_." He watched her, apparently for a reaction that she wasn't giving. He finally sighed and rose from his chair.

Anna did, too. They couldn't stay in the Puddle Jumper forever, especially not without a certified Puddle Jumper pilot. " _But Major Lorne is second in command of the military things in the city, after John_ ," she offered. " _It's an important position_."

John was the most important military officer and Doctor McKay was on his team. They were on equal footing in terms of their own areas of expertise. Doctor McKay was the most important scientist on Atlantis. If Major Lorne was second most important, and Radek was on his team…

Second was a pretty good place to be, especially when surrounded by so many people who knew so much.

Radek might not have seen it that way. " _It is_ ," Radek allowed. " _As I said, I am not yet sure, but I didn't want to catch you off-guard_."

" _When will you know?"_ Anna asked.

He shrugged.

It probably didn't matter. If they were considering it and Radek didn't object too loudly, he'd be put on the team. Anna was almost sure of it. Radek didn't look thrilled, but…

She could only smile at this development.

If Radek, of all people, could be on an offworld team, she suddenly had plenty of hope that someday she could do the same. She could be as smart as Radek someday. She could shoot a gun, throw knives, and defend herself in a fight. Sort of.

And even without the ATA gene, Radek was on a 'gate team. Something about him was good enough for it. In more ways than one, she knew she had a chance.

She had the genes.

* * *

 _A/N: Eyyy, gene therapy worked! Because, you know, of course it would.  
Honestly, despite that advertised 47-48% success rate, has it failed to work for _anyone _other than Radek? The answer is no. It hasn't. Radek is the only one we know of_ — _in the show, mind you_ — _for whom gene therapy did not work. I call shenanigans. Except the explanation for gene therapy activating a dormant gene that the recipient already has makes a heck of a lot more sense, no? So, I guess Anna's mother has an Ancient ancestor somewhere. Except why hasn't Beckett figured out that the only people for whom therapy works are the ones with this certain dormant gene (because, by at least season 3, anyway, he's still treating the gene therapy like it's a coin toss)? He's obviously a brilliant geneticist, but... I don't know. I guess nothing is perfect._

 _Next time: I miss the years that were erased._


	64. All the Little Things

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna's birthday (since chapter 62)? It went… okay, actually. (Chapter 19, also; bit of a throwback.)_

* * *

 **Chapter 64. All the Little Things.**

He'd done a good job. Better than Anna expected.

Last year, when her mother told her that she was sick… very sick… Anna didn't realize that would be her last birthday with her. Anna held out hope she would make it another year. She knew she was fooling herself, especially with Mom making all sorts of preparations and talking about Radek more than Anna had ever known.

Today, she was so distracted she didn't think.

Her excitement had drawn her awareness away, waiting for the big surprise. Waiting to see if the ATA gene worked. Waiting for the Puddle Jumper. It couldn't have gone better if he'd somehow planned for Colonel Sheppard to get infected with some retrovirus-or-other.

He couldn't do that. Even if he could have, nobody would do that.

The day was over now, though, and she couldn't help but think about it.

She opened the photo album on her knees and flipped the pages of past birthdays. Cupcakes and clothes and stuffed animals and… Mom. She'd never have a birthday like these again. She pulled out the photo for her fifteenth birthday. Mom gave her jewelry during the party she'd had with her orchestra-mates. Not really friends… but not distant enough to ignore a reason for cupcakes. When it was just her and Mom, she gave her a small stuffed cat. Anna got rid of it… She knew she'd regret it.

She put the photo back and turned the page. Radek's letter with feathered edges rested on top of a picture of Anna and the violinist that sat next to her about to go on stage. She carefully picked the letter up and slid her fingers down the edges. Stared at the _Radek_ on the front, written in trembling cursive.

She still had no guesses as to what it said, and it was none of her business.

She wished her mother had written her a letter.

Anna held the envelope behind her back and slipped out of her room. Radek sat on the couch with a book. A book on some sort of unpronounceable analysis by the looks of it. It was in Czech, but it was clearly very scientific. She had no idea if it was leisure or work. She never knew with the sorts of books he read.

" _Radek?"_ she said quietly. She hurried over to the couch and sat down. She realized a moment later how weird that was. She almost never sat on the couch.

Radek shut his book and looked at her. Must have been a book he was just reading for fun. He never gave up work that quickly. " _Yes, what is it?"_

She took a deep breath. " _Thank you for the birthday_ ," she said. Better to lead with that. " _It was… much better than I was expecting."_

He half-smiled, probably because that was almost insulting. That wasn't what she meant at all.

" _I mean, I almost didn't think about Mom at all. Only a little. Just now. Because it's my first birthday she isn't here, but you kept me so busy that I didn't really think about it_." It wasn't the worst birthday ever, and that seemed like a miracle. It had every right to be.

He nodded. " _I'm glad_."

" _But I remembered that I was supposed to give you something a long time ago…_ " Quickly, intently, she drew the envelope from behind her back and shoved it at him. " _I'm sorry. I should have…_ "

Radek took it and studied the front.

Anna wondered if he recognized the letters, the way her mother wrote. Probably not. The letters didn't look anything like the handwriting that her mother used to have.

He looked a bit confused as he turned it over and slid his thumb under the seal.

" _It's from Mom,"_ she said.

He whipped it over again to look at the writing. " _Oh_ …" He turned it and broke the seal.

Anna was desperately curious to know what it said, but accepted she would probably never know. Still, she watched him unfold the paper, rub his nose with a sniff. He read for a few seconds.

" _When did she write this?"_

Anna started at the sudden question. The answer was she didn't know exactly. But judging from the writing, it was very close to the end. " _I think a week… a week before…_ " She took a deep breath. " _A week before she died, probably, I think_."

" _I see_."

He didn't sound angry. He didn't sound much of anything. That was probably a good thing. Anna didn't know why she'd kept it from him this long. Maybe it was on purpose and she didn't know. The last thing her mother had to say. As if Anna waited, her mother would still be there, somehow, waiting to say it… She leaned back on the couch and waited for him to say something. Anything.

Or maybe there was nothing to say.

#

It had been a long time since he'd seen her writing but… Eliška had beautiful, sweeping handwriting. She made even the harshest words look inviting. This could not be the same person.

This should not be the same person.

Maybe the faint scent of almonds was imagined, but it was enough. He didn't know what to think when he opened it. A page of the painstaking, shaking script was almost more than he could bear to look at, but she'd gone to a lot of trouble. Maybe a record of his wrongdoings over their years together, all the things he listed for himself whenever he thought of how old Anna was and how much he'd missed.

He didn't read it. Not really.

Radek folded the paper the way it came, and looked at Anna. She watched him carefully, like she was waiting for something. Like she expected something important to happen as consequence of the letter… but that important thing had already happened.

Anna was here.

Eliška was gone. Sometimes, for just a moment… sometimes he forgot.

" _Thank you_." He stood, leaving Anna looking a little bewildered as he went to his room. " _It's getting late_." After his late night two days ago, he figured he was still catching up. But he pulled all-nighters all the time, so… why did he suddenly feel so tired?

" _Oh_ ," Anna mumbled, nodding hastily. " _Okay. Good night_."

She retreated to her room before Radek got to his door. He slipped the envelope back and forth in his fingers, debating on whether to read it tonight or leave it for the morning.

He deposited it on the table next to his bed. Changed out of his uniform and then sat on the edge of his bed just staring at the letter for maybe minutes. Finally picked it up again. He wouldn't be able to sleep whether he read it or not…

His name was on the envelope, but the letter was written to _dearest_. The last time she called him that… He didn't really remember exactly. He remembered a near-physical pain when he realized she'd stopped using it. Started calling him Radek just like everyone else.

 _Dearest_ , she wrote. Meticulously.

She apologized. Why did she apologize? _He_ should apologize. He drove her crazy. He didn't do things he should have, did some he shouldn't have. He said things he shouldn't have even thought. He'd promised love, honor, respect, and faithfulness until death separated them, God help him. It was a foolish promise made by young people who didn't know the meaning of the words they spoke.

Here he was, with death between them, and he still loved her.

He skipped over the paragraph of apology, went straight to the next one.

 _I don't know if you'll make it in time. I hope you will, but Emílie isn't optimistic. But I know you'll come for Anna. It is an infuriating thing about you. You were always there when I most needed you. Except now. I know something must keep you from getting here. Unless you've come to hate me. I would understand if that were so._

 _But I hope you've forgiven me_.

" _Ela_ ," he whispered. " _I could never hate you."_ As if she could hear him. If only she could have known that for sure. If only he'd been there, he would have explained himself entirely. Damn the consequences—she was dying, anyway. What did it matter if she knew he was working in another galaxy? She deserved to know the only thing that kept him from being there was three million lightyears. She never knew.

 _I have many regrets, but none so acute as that Anna does not know you. I once thought that expectation of nothing was better than expectations broken. Some years you sent letters and gifts. Other years you sent nothing. This is the one time I've encouraged her to believe in you. I hope I'm not wrong._

 _Some days, I'm not sure what happened between us. Other days I am. But I hope you are happy, wherever you are. I hope you come soon. If you don't, know I will always love you and Anna._

 _Live well, Ráďa. *_

He couldn't read her signature. The letter clattered to the floor before he could look at it anyway. He put his glasses aside and rubbed his eyes. Did she ever forgive him?

He supposed he'd never know..

Maybe she would, if she could have seen today. Or maybe not. He had no idea what she'd think of Radek taking their daughter to another galaxy. Letting her learn how to throw knives, shoot guns, and fly spaceships (eventually). Would she think that was irresponsible or… would she understand that Anna couldn't live without her? Sometimes it was better to forget.

Did she know he couldn't live without her?

If she knew that, she would understand. Because sometimes he forgot. And that was better.

He picked the letter up off the floor and placed it next to the framed drawing of Anna playing her violin for the Stargate next to his bed. He looked at the drawing for a moment before he put his head down on his pillow.

He hoped she would've understood. He hoped she'd forgiven him. He hoped…

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Just a diminutive form of Radek, like Ela is short for Eliška.

* * *

 _A/N: Yeah, it's not Friday. You know what that means, right? It's Anna's Name Day._

 _I wasn't going to post extra on Anna's Name Day, but I figured, what the heck. Why not? She won't get her birthday because, you know, that's even more arbitrary. But I picked her name for reasons, and her Name Day comes with her name, which is a pretty special name to me by now._

 _Anyway. Just finished one of my summer term classes, so I'm glad about that.  
_

 _... How you guys been? You good? You happy?_

* * *

 _Next time: I only think of myself..._


	65. Egocentrism

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Maybe Anna's birthday wasn't so much of a disaster (chapters 62-64). Radek's ex would definitely think this birthday-in-another-galaxy thing was totally irresponsible, though…_

* * *

 **Chapter 65. Egocentrism.**

"This is it, I suppose." Doctor Heightmeyer sounded a little disappointed.

Anna didn't quite know why. After all, Anna was probably one of her least helpful patients. Patients? Was that right? Whatever it was that psychologists like Heightmeyer called the people they counseled.

"I guess so." Anna slid a bit closer to the edge of the couch. Almost like she couldn't wait to get out of there. It was true. But it was rude. "I think I should thank you for… you know, putting up with me."

Doctor Heightmeyer smiled, tilting her head so her blond hair fell onto her shoulder. "Putting up with you?"

"I wasn't very agreeable to seeing you," Anna said. And she still wasn't. It was a waste of time to her. Unfortunately, that made it a waste of time to Doctor Heightmeyer. "Radek was just worried, I guess."

"Probably," Doctor Heightmeyer agreed with a nod. "That's good, though. And now you know for sure where my office is if you ever need me."

Anna couldn't imagine herself coming here. Although… Doctor Heightmeyer was alright. Not like Anna had originally pictured her. She listened to anything Anna had to say, whether it was about her mother, about Radek, about Collins, about Doctor McKay… These days it was usually about Collins, which struck her as strange. Doctor Heightmeyer never made her feel like it was strange, though.

"Thank you," Anna said finally, quietly, probably for lack of anything else to say.

"How was your birthday?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked, almost suddenly, like she figured she'd better get in this last conversation really quick before time was up. Even though they would most certainly still see each other.

Anna smiled, almost involuntarily. "It was very good."

"I heard you got the gene therapy?" Doctor Heightmeyer grinned, like she'd just said one of the most ridiculous things she could have thought possible. Maybe it was a little ridiculous.

Nodding, Anna rubbed at the spot on her arm where the horse-needle stuck into her vein. It was sore, but Doctor Beckett said that was to be expected. "Yeah. Colonel Sheppard was going to give me Puddle Jumper flying lessons, but… um, he's a bug right now. Or something."

Doctor Heightmeyer took on a grave look. "Yes, that's… that's what they tell me."

"Do you know if he's okay?" Anna asked.

She just shook her head.

Anna didn't know if anyone knew. If anyone knew if he would be okay. It was depressing to think about, and not just because she'd have to get Puddle Jumper flying lessons from somebody else.

"Well," Doctor Heightmeyer said suddenly. "Happy birthday."

Anna smiled. "Thank you."

"That's sixteen, isn't it?"

When Anna nodded, Doctor Heightmeyer seemed very pleased, like maybe making it to sixteen was some big accomplishment. Like maybe some people on Atlantis had not been blessed with the privilege of being sixteen.

Maybe that wasn't completely untrue. It seemed like a lot of the people here had just skipped all the fun and went right on working.

"Feel any different?" Doctor Heightmeyer asked.

That was a strange question. "No. Should I?"

"No." Doctor Heightmeyer sighed like that was a grave disappointment to her. "I remember when I turned sixteen, I expected that day to be something amazing."

"It wasn't?" Anna asked apologetically.

Doctor Heightmeyer shrugged. "It wasn't bad. It just wasn't amazing, either."

Anna smiled a little at the thought of her birthday. She felt like she would remember it forever. Like it was going to be the highlight of the rest of her life. Well, she really hoped not, because at the end of the day it was really boring. But it was still a wonderful day. Maybe even amazing.

"Radek… remembered my birthday…" Anna said slowly, suddenly recognizing the importance of it.

Doctor Heightmeyer narrowed an eye on her in confusion. "Yes. He must have. I don't suppose it can be arranged for you to get gene therapy overnight and—"

"He knew ahead of time." Anna slowly pushed herself up off the couch. Time wasn't up, though, so she sat back down just as fast. "He must have known a long time ahead of time. You don't just get cupcakes with purple frosting around here, do you?"

Even more confusion crossed Doctor Heightmeyer's eyes. She shook her head.

"Not easily, anyway."

"No, I guess not," Doctor Heightmeyer agreed.

Anna nodded and sighed. "I know it's our last session, but is it okay if we cut it short? I just remembered something I really have to do."

#

Anna slid into Elizabeth's office. Her heart pounded, but she had no idea why. She only wanted to ask a question that probably every single person on Atlantis could ask. Not because they wanted to know the answer, of course. They would ask because they didn't know the answer.

Did that make her a horrible person?

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes? Good morning. How are you?" Elizabeth kept her eyes on her book for a moment, probably finishing the sentence she was reading. Then she looked up.

Anna was caught off guard, so she just nodded. "Um. Yes. I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm fine," Elizabeth said.

Elizabeth wasn't fine. Anna hated to give the impression that she didn't really care how Elizabeth was at this moment. She might have ordinarily… but she could worry about that later.

Now that the pleasantries were out of the way, Anna took a few steps toward Elizabeth's desk. "I have a question…" Anna watched Elizabeth put her book to one side of the desk, like she always did. It didn't matter how simple Anna's question was. She always acted like it took all her concentration to answer. "You have access to all of Atlantis's personnel files, right?"

Elizabeth looked skeptical. "Yes, I do. Why?"

Anna took a deep breath and tried to laugh. "Well… this is sort of… trapný?"

"Embarrassing?" Elizabeth guessed. "What is it?"

Anna hesitated while Elizabeth waited. She wished she wouldn't wait so patiently, but Anna was the one who had walked in here. "I don't know Radek's birthday."

Her confession was met with a concerned frown, followed by a nod. "You know, I don't either." Elizabeth pulled up her tablet computer and started searching.

Anna supposed Radek forgave his colleagues their lack of personal knowledge. He might have preferred it. He probably didn't know their birthdays, either. If they didn't know his, he didn't have to know theirs. It was better for everyone.

But Anna should have some idea, right? She wasn't a colleague. She was his daughter. "Well, I'm mostly sure it's in February… or March…" Her voice trailed away. She had _some_ idea. But it was hardly worth mentioning. It was certainly in the first half of the year, and close to hers. That narrowed the options.

"You're right. February 7th. That's soon…"

At least she was close. "That's only a month away."

He went out of the way for her birthday—got her the only thing in this galaxy she wanted. A thing she wasn't even sure she could have. Now she would be flying Puddle Jumpers with Colonel Sheppard every now and again and talking to holograms in her spare time. For all the times she felt angry and forgotten that he'd not sent a card or anything on her birthday, she never even knew his.

She put her head in her hands. "I'm a terrible person, aren't I?"

"No, not a terrible person," Elizabeth said. "I didn't know his birthday either."

"It's not the same," Anna mumbled.

Elizabeth didn't look entirely convinced, but nodded anyway. "Well, there are a few days between here and there. I'm sure you can find him something." She looked a little more contemplative than the situation called for. "What does he like?"

Anna shrugged. "I have no idea. He likes Ancient tech. He likes work. He likes Puddle Jumpers. And chess. He likes winning at chess, actually, but he can do that whenever he wants."

Elizabeth smiled. "Maybe we can put our brains together and figure out something nice."

She'd better, especially after last night. She wasn't sure what his reaction was to the letter and she'd been standing right there with him when he opened it. She hadn't seen him this morning, since he was already gone when she got up. It was strange to say the least. Or maybe it was something else.

"Oh, um, how is Colonel Sheppard?" she asked.

Elizabeth looked considerably less cheerful. "Not well. Doctor Beckett is working on it right now." She was obviously not sharing something. Something terrible. Anna knew that look.

The shock was unfamiliar, though. "Is he dying?"

Elizabeth's brow knotted and she shook her head. "No. We're not there yet."

He was dying. How did that happen? He was fine yesterday. That explained why Radek was gone so early. Even if he wasn't working on the Sheppard problem, Doctor McKay probably was. That meant that someone had to do Doctor McKay's job. That was usually Radek.

Anna stood up. "Can I see him?"

"No." Elizabeth's answer was quicker, sharper than Anna expected.

Anna sat back down. "He's really dying…?" she asked, even though she knew she got a negative answer the first time. She didn't even get to thank him… even though he didn't get to give her the Puddle Jumper flying first lesson—yet, she reminded herself—he was willing to.

"No," Elizabeth said. Then she stood and looked around. She looked like she was maybe deciding something. Something she didn't like. "I'll be back."

Anna rose, watching Elizabeth leave the room without another word. Anna didn't know if Elizabeth meant her to stay or not. She went across the 'gate room to Colonel Caldwell's office.

"Never mind," Anna mumbled to the empty room. "I have other things to do." She wandered out into the Control Room. She hadn't noticed when she walked in, but it was silent. Everyone seemed more serious, working harder, more focused.

It was the best way to handle impending disaster around here, apparently.

#

Radek was concerned about Colonel Sheppard, but there was nothing he could do about it. To hear everyone else tell it, no one could do anything about it. Not even Carson. Early this morning, he'd gotten the call from the lab that something was terribly wrong with Colonel Sheppard and Radek would have to do some of the things Rodney was supposed to do today.

Everyone said this was it. This was the time Colonel Sheppard couldn't even get out of the mess he'd gotten himself in.

Radek refused to believe that. It wouldn't be the first time Colonel Sheppard came across something or someone that should have, in all fairness, killed him. And it wouldn't be the last. Colonel Sheppard made a habit of flirting with death, but he played hard to get like no lady Radek ever saw. Not even Elizabeth could stand up to that.

Radek blinked in a vain attempt to clear his mind of that nonsense…

But it wouldn't leave him alone. Life beyond the Stargate was too dangerous for him. If it was too dangerous for Sheppard, there was no way Radek would see Atlantis ever again after stepping through the 'gate that first time. Even if he wasn't shot, stabbed, or had the life sucked out of him, he was just as likely to manage fatal exposure to some variety of Pegasus poison ivy.

He knew he was borrowing trouble. He knew that. No decisions had been made.

Guilt hit him before his thought fully materialized: he might not have to worry about it at all. If Sheppard died, Lorne would take over the first reconnaissance team and Radek might just be off the hook. Sad thing for Major Lorne, though. His level of tolerance for Rodney was less than Rodney's for lemons.

Not that Radek imagined his relationship with the major was in any way better.

That was incredibly selfish anyway. Sheppard wasn't going to die. It was unthinkable.

He stared at his computer screen and tried to figure out where he was and how he'd gotten so far off course.

Right. Colonel Sheppard playing hard to get.

He chuckled and found himself back at his starting point with the astrometric data.

"Radek."

Ah, work was just not happening today, was it? He glanced past his monitor and then back at it. "Hello, Anna."

" _I didn't see you this morning_ ," she said quietly.

Radek glanced around to make sure there was no one else in the lab. Miko was somewhere around here, but he didn't see her. Schreiber and Lawson were… Well, who knew where by now? " _I've been here_." He sighed, trying to remember exactly what he'd been doing this morning.

Ah, yes. It wasn't science-related.

He pointed at a desk in the corner, just out of arm's reach of his desk. Yesterday it was piled high with who-knew-what junk, and today it was mostly empty. A tablet, a connecting cable and a spare, and a lamp. It wasn't much, but it was what everyone in his lab started with.

" _I really should have cleared a desk for you earlier, but better late than never, I guess_?" He glanced at her. Anna looked relatively pleased with this development, though not very interested, either. " _If you get tired of doing homework in the mess hall or quarters or… you know, wherever it is you do homework_."

" _Thank you_." She ran her hand over the clean surface, picking up the coiled cord. She lifted it, and smiled at him. " _Rodney never gave me one of these_."

" _He, um…_ " Radek didn't know how to finish that, so he just shrugged. Changed direction. " _You heard about Colonel Sheppard_?"

Anna nodded, and hesitated. " _Yes… I don't know much about it. Are you okay, though?"_

Radek looked at his hands for a moment and back at her. " _Uh, yeah."_ He tried to make that not sound like a question. He knew what she was talking about, anyway.

Eliška's letter. Yes, he'd been trying very hard all morning to not think of that. Even with Sheppard's impending death, it rattled away at the back of his mind.

There was nothing to tell Anna about, anyway. She certainly wouldn't understand. Last night, he remembered why he'd loved Ela for so long. And why he'd hated her. It seemed wrong to feel nothing for her, now.

Maybe it wasn't nothing. It was how he felt three months after the divorce. He sat at the desk in his mother's house, desperately trying to finish a few calculations, and realized his pen ran out of ink.

Radek hated metaphors. And he hated pens.

He was glad for her last words to him, though. Radek didn't doubt that Ela wasn't thinking clearly when she wrote the letter. She wrote the letter with the belief that he could change, come back, be the person she'd wanted him to be. The person he sometimes wished he was. The person he knew Anna needed, but he wasn't.

Now he had to. Eliška, under the delusions of drugs and denial and death, believed he could be.

He just didn't know if he could.

" _Yeah, I'm fine_ ," he said, with more finality this time.

" _Okay_ ," she said. She sounded pleased enough about it, and he was thankful she didn't press for more detail… if she was even talking about Eliška's letter, after all.

He had no idea what she was talking about. Why did he ever bother pretending he had any clue at all how her mind worked?

" _Um, I have a question_."

Radek held his breath for half a moment and nodded.

" _Do you like pie or cake better?"_

Yep. He had no idea in the world what she was thinking. Ever. " _Cake, I guess_?"

" _Hm. Okay. Thank you."_ She leaned on his desk for a moment and stared at his monitor while he stared at her. " _Schnapps?"_

He laughed. He couldn't help it. " _What?"_

" _Do you like it?"_

" _Sure. What is this about?"_

" _Nothing_." She pulled a stool over from another desk and slid up on it to, apparently, watch him work with the charting algorithms. She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a plastic sandwich bag with one of yesterday's cupcakes inside. It was squished, but it apparently didn't affect the flavor.

Radek didn't pay that anymore mind and tried to concentrate on the monitor. Anna didn't bring up any more food items, freeing him to fall into a steady rhythm fueled by a combination of coffee and anxiety. He was going to be put on a reconnaissance team. That was all there was to it. He needed to get used to it.

Sheppard would be fine and Lorne would have to learn to live with a scientist on his team. And Radek would have to learn to live with people shooting at him.

* * *

 _Next time: What terrible day. But things could always be worse._


	66. Many Unhappy Returns

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna realized that she has no idea when Radek's birthday is, though now she does. Meanwhile, Radek can no longer ignore the recon team in his future (chapter 61)._

* * *

 **Chapter 66. Many Unhappy Returns.**

It looked like another one of those days: eventful for everyone but Radek. They went offworld to do something about Iratus bugs. Or bring some piece of one back. Because Colonel Sheppard was turning into a bug?

Two people died. Two people that Radek didn't know were presumably eaten alive by the insect cousin of the Wraith. He hoped they died quickly.

This was why Radek never wanted to leave the lab. Things didn't make sense in here, no. But they made even less sense out there. In the lab, people could be erased from existence, yes, but not turned into bugs. Exotic particles could be created and destroyed in pocket universes, but no one was getting the life sucked out of them with the touch of an alien palm. Things like that just didn't happen and he wasn't looking forward to the day when that became commonplace.

He lived in a world where, at least, he could explain things. It was his job to explain things.

The world he was being inducted into was one in which things could be explained… he'd just never have the time to do so.

Because he was being inducted into that world. He was almost certain of it. Elizabeth told him to come to the conference room at thirteen-hundred hours and she wouldn't do that unless they were making some ceremony out of that chalkboard blue uniform.

He could no longer concentrate on this. Who was he kidding? He hadn't concentrated all day.

Thirty minutes until that dreaded hour. What was he going to say?

He knew himself well enough. He'd just nod. He'd do what he was told. He might even _thank_ them, as though this wasn't the last thing on all of Atlantis he wanted. He'd survived killer viruses and… yeah. That was it. Killer viruses, hurricanes the size of Earth, and the first three months with his daughter living on Atlantis.

"Radek!" Rodney stormed into the lab and looked directly at him. Looked almost pleased. Or smug. Rodney of all people knew that Radek would be less than pleased to be placed on Lorne's team.

"Welcome back," he said quietly and hoped Rodney would leave it at that.

No such luck. "Thank you. What do you think?"

What a complicated question. He sighed. "Not now."

"Come on." Rodney said. "Haven't you always wanted something like this?"

Radek stared beyond Rodney, trying to figure out just what he meant. And why he would ever think that Radek _wanted_ to go offworld. "What? Since—?" he sputtered. "I only went offworld twice, and one of those only because you were explicitly unavailable." He only barely counted Doranda, and the other trip predicated the most disastrously humiliating experience of his recent life.

"I don't mean to steal all the glory, trust me." Rodney slouched into a chair and turned toward one of the computers. He seemed confused about what he was doing there, probably because it wasn't his console. But Radek was using Rodney's and he wasn't about to give it up. "Going offworld is much, much harder than it looks."

"Really." Radek didn't doubt that.

"Yeah. So, uh, let me know if you want any, you know, tips."

Radek laughed. "From you?"

He shouldn't have laughed. But why not? If the stories were true, Rodney had no idea what he was doing out there. Almost every military officer on Atlantis had a cherished story about Rodney's complete inability to shoot anything he aimed at. Unless he was aiming at some distant point in the sky.

"You think it's easy?" Rodney scoffed.

"No, I think it's incredibly difficult." Too difficult for Rodney, but for some reason they kept letting him go along. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and checked the time. Minutes ticked by much faster when Rodney was doing his level best to lay the groundwork for an aneurism.

"Hm." Rodney looked around like he was trying to figure out some sort of wisdom to impart. "Well, the uniform kinda bunches up under the arms, so watch out for that."

Radek smiled on his way out the door. "Ah. Well. Thank you. That's good to know."

Rodney reclaimed his console and his lab. He could have them. Radek didn't want Lab 01 if it was accompanied by a spot on a reconnaissance team. On the other hand, he was getting the latter without the former.

He slammed his hand on the map of Atlantis, careful to hit the dot for the Central Tower.

The conference room was mostly empty when he sat in the nearest chair. Just Elizabeth and Caldwell, but Caldwell was doing his "fly on the wall" act. He worked on his tablet and sorted through papers under his left elbow from time to time. Trying to give the distinct impression that he wasn't involved here and, honestly, he wasn't.

"I heard Colonel Sheppard will recover?" he started when the silence didn't move itself.

Elizabeth looked relieved as she set aside her tablet. There was a faraway look in her eyes. Maybe she was writing condolence letters to the families of the men that died. "Yes. Unfortunately, Walker and Stevens didn't make it back."

"I heard," Radek said. First time he'd heard the names, though.

Caldwell coughed a little, but otherwise said nothing.

"It's been undecided for a long time whether Major Lorne's team needs a science team member. I recognize this is a horrible time to do it, but he would need a replacement anyway."

Radek hadn't considered that. Seemed like the perfect breeding ground for resentment, especially when Major Lorne already didn't seem to like him that much. But, in the light that there would never be a good time, this was as good as any. Radek was used to working with people who didn't like him.

Elizabeth picked up her tablet and scrolled through it. She shook her head as though she'd come to an inescapable conclusion. "You're a good fit, Radek." At least she said it like she knew how unfortunate that was. "You have practical Ancient and Wraith knowledge, you have good marks with your firearms assessments." Radek didn't know whether to be encouraged by her slight smirk or not. "And your personality evaluation doesn't lead me to believe you'll be destroying a solar system in the near future."

What _does_ one say? "Thank you?"

"And all the other members of Major Lorne's team have the ATA gene, so he doesn't need another," she added. "You are exactly what we wanted."

Now, that was nearly insulting. He didn't say anything about it, though. "That's it then? I'm a member of Lorne's reconnaissance team? Just like that? No training, no tests?"

"Oh, there will be training," Caldwell put in. "But you'll do fine, Doctor."

Radek had no doubt he'd "do fine." He was a better shot than Rodney and could keep his cool in most situations… even those involving almost certain death. He knew when to try, when to give up, and didn't lose his head when infected with a killer virus.

This was significantly different.

What would he do under Genii weapons fire? What would he do face-to-face with a Wraith?

"Do you have any questions?" Elizabeth asked.

He had a million. What to ask first? Why not Kusanagi or Kavanagh or—hell, _anyone else_? Who would be doing this training? When would it be? How would this affect his other responsibilities—not only as the head of a science department, but…

Well, Elizabeth was in no position to tell him what to do about Anna.

Radek was hardly in that position.

"When will this training be?" Simple question. Concrete answer. Hopefully.

"Since Major Lorne will be doing the training…" She consulted her tablet. "Next week. Early morning."

The way she said _early_ made Radek think that it was an hour not even coffee would help. But who wanted to drink coffee before running laps around the Central Tower catwalks? He shrugged. "And the first mission?"

"Also next week. Don't worry. Should be easy."

Wasn't that what they said about the mission to the planet with the Wraith girl? People in the Control Tower had a delusional definition of _easy_. "That's reassuring."

Elizabeth offered a smile that he didn't reciprocate. She took a breath. "Well, we'll have your uniform to you tomorrow. It's up to you which you wear."

"Thank you." He looked around helplessly, not wanting to ask if he could leave now or in any way look rude. He'd try his best to live up to expectations, surpass them if at all possible. It usually wasn't possible. Rodney had low expectations, and was never impressed, even when work was truly exceptional.

He almost wanted to tell her not to bother with the chalkboard blue. He was keeping his khakis. Lest Lorne ever forget Radek was an Atlantis scientist first.

He smiled a little and stood. "I'll get back to work, then. Next week is looking busy."

Elizabeth smiled, looking genuinely hopeful that he wasn't taking this as badly as she might have imagined. Don't react. He could sort it out later. After training, probably, and dying of a heart attack because he was actually woefully out of shape. He hadn't been shaping expectations from the beginning like Rodney… perhaps there was a benefit to outspoken hypochondria. If everyone thought there was something wrong with you, even if just psychological, they might expect less.

Radek reveled in his average genius maybe a bit too much.

But maybe not average. He always thought he was just as good as Rodney, but he never knew if that was true. Not in practice. Rodney was under constant pressure in the field to stay alive. Would Radek do as well? Would Radek abandon ship, as it were, as soon as things got bad? He wanted to think he'd stay, keep working, try to save everyone with little care for his own wellbeing. He wanted to save lives and he'd destroy solar systems if that was what it took. Just… not like Rodney.

Radek took a deep breath. So that was that. No second guessing, no asking questions. Just, "Your flak jacket, Atlantis reconnaissance team blues, and get used to running with your weight plus seventy or so kilos." Little to no ceremony, and he joined the unfortunate few.

More unfortunate today than usual.

Radek hesitated outside the conference room. Elizabeth said she'd meet him for dinner later, which meant he probably had an hour and a half to two to kill. The control room across the way was mostly empty, except Major Lorne sat in one of the chairs. Just looking at the Stargate.

Radek crossed the room, stepping up the stairs to the Control Room. "Hello, Major."

Major Lorne glanced over his shoulder to see who was coming before returning his gaze to the Stargate immediately. "I assume they gave you the news?"

"Yes."

Major Lorne cracked his knuckles, one at a time, and nodded. "Well," he said without a hint of congratulations. "Welcome to the team, Doc."

It seemed too ironic to thank him for that, so Radek didn't. "I was sorry to hear about Stevens and Walker." Even though he didn't even know they had names just a few hours ago.

The major heaved a sigh, set his jaw with a grimace. "Yeah." Suddenly, Lorne leaned forward, rubbing the creases from his forehead. "Damnit," he hissed.

Radek didn't know what to say, so he didn't. As far as he knew, Walker and Stevens' bodies hadn't been recovered. Radek could only think of a handful of worse ways to go. He could only think of a handful of worse things to have on one's conscience.

"I should be grateful," Lorne said a second later. "At least you aren't McKay."

Radek chuckled. "Yeah, I remind myself of this whenever things are bad."

To his surprise, Lorne laughed, too.

Radek didn't want to make any assumptions, but maybe he and Major Lorne would get along, after all.

#

Anna glanced up when the door from Radek's room slid open. Radek wandered in, looking like he'd just run a marathon, but he'd actually just taken a shower. But that was only after probably running a marathon, training with Major Lorne. He looked up toward where she was sitting in front of the window.

She smiled apologetically. " _How was the first day?"_

His first day of training. His first mission was in four days. It was apparently going to be very boring, just to let him "get his feet wet," as Elizabeth put it. In Radek's mind, Anna didn't doubt it more resembled patting a snake with bare feet.

Something about a meet-and-greet with friends of Teyla's that Atlantis had already made contact with. Periodically, they would check up on their friends and trade with them, just to keep relations welcoming. The culture seemed to revolve around borrowing and gift-giving, very open and friendly as long as they brought something shiny to give.

" _You know… it wasn't awful."_

Anna didn't know how to take that. His tone said it was terrible, but he sounded slightly surprised. The way he moved said he had muscles hurting he didn't know he had. His head bowed in an attitude of embarrassment as he sank down onto the couch. He winced as he picked his feet up to prop them on the table in front of him.

" _I'm glad?"_ she said finally. " _So… what's wrong?"_

" _I just have a lot of work to do."_

She set aside her book and watched him. He turned his face toward the ceiling and closed his eyes. " _What kind of work?"_ she asked. " _Just the running and jumping stuff?"_

He picked his head up a little, smiled at her description of the physical training. " _Mostly. I also doubt my ability to ever handle a gun with any proficiency. I doubt I'll ever need it. But if I don't practice, I will need it."_ He slid his feet back off the table and they fell to the floor like he had no strength left. " _Ah, which reminds me, I should probably be practicing. I have so much catching up to do_."

" _I don't think Major Lorne expects you to be a marine_ ," Anna offered.

Radek shot her a glance. Anna wasn't sure what it meant, but he didn't look pleased.

" _It's true,"_ he said finally. " _But he expects me to not be a nuisance, either_." He picked himself up from the couch and looked around. " _Right. The range. Um. Where is it?"_

Anna gave him a small smile and went to stand next to him. " _I'll come with you."_

He shrugged like that wasn't the worst idea. The last thing he probably wanted was to get lost on the way to the firing range. He might eventually have no choice than to just lie down on a bench and hope someone dragged his body back to his quarters or the infirmary… whichever was most convenient.

There were plenty of voices at the firing range this morning, which wasn't all that unusual. The Atlantis reconnaissance teams took cycles on weekdays to keep their physical condition in top shape and their shooting in pristine form. Major Lorne's team was here, along with the seventh reconnaissance team. Anna didn't know any of their names. There were still three tables and target clips open.

Radek stood in the doorway for a moment, looking lost. He found himself again quickly, and started for the gun locker.

Major Lorne hadn't missed his sudden appearance. "Hey, Doc, training's over."

"I know," Radek answered. "But there is always practice."

Radek picked out one of the training handguns. Sheppard told Anna it was basically a weighted BB-gun, but he never used them because it didn't have the same firepower, and so it didn't have the same kick-back. It was fine for recertifying scientists, but that was about it.

"Oh." Major Lorne nodded, apparently trying to hold back a genuine laugh. The rest of his team seemed amused, too.

Anna shrank at the realization that they had no respect for him. They were laughing, weren't they? Even if it wasn't out loud.

"You must be Anna."

Anna nodded, and went to the locker next to Radek. Whatever else they must have been thinking, they were right. Seeing Radek in the shooting range was so out of place, it could have easily been funny. It barely felt right to see him handling the training handgun. It didn't feel right to ask Radek if she could shoot, too. She spun, locking Major Lorne in her gaze with a pleasant smile.

"Can I shoot, too? Colonel Sheppard's been teaching me," she said.

Major Lorne frowned, obviously not considering this question a possibility. Or, maybe, a question she shouldn't have asked. Anna only knew that she shouldn't use any weapons in here without permission… and Radek didn't seem qualified to give that permission.

"Uh. Sure," Major Lorne said uncertainly.

She thanked him and spun back around, nudging Radek with her arm as she picked up one of the handguns and a box of bullets. "Let's play a game."

"A game." Radek didn't sound enthused. "With guns. Anna, you worry me."

She laughed, but said, "Yeah, a game." Anna went to the first open table, the one next to Major Lorne, and loaded the clip. "Makes practice more fun. It's not fair to play with Ronon when he's using his gun, though. He just blows the whole target away and you can't tell what he hit."

"Um… yeah…" Radek sounded like he had no idea what else to say.

"Okay. Here's the game. We shoot at our targets together on mark. After I empty my clip, we count how many points we get by how close we are to the center."

"Is this retaliation for that chess game?" Radek asked. Still, he was smiling a little. It was better than just blindly lining up shot after shot, anyway.

Anna smirked. "Maybe." She clipped the target to the cord and sent it out to the other end of the range. "Připraveni?"

Radek sighed and sent out his own target. Put his goggles on. Earplugs.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Teď?" *

Radek nodded and stood straight, raising his gun. He looked so… awkward. Anna supposed she could help with that. At least fix his stance a little. Maybe later, though. Major Lorne and the others were watching. Pretending they weren't. This wasn't the time for Anna to correct him.

"Okay."

They both fired. Anna could see her shot went off perfectly, just like she'd aimed. She glanced immediately at Radek's target. He was in the second ring from the outside, which was only one point. She was in the fourth ring, only one ring away from center, three points.

" _Not bad_ ," she offered. Better than her first try, anyway. " _That would be one point for you, and three for me. But I think it's not fair to start right off, so that's the practice round. Now you call it._ "

Radek sighed and raised his gun. "Teď."

Anna fired again. " _You don't have to sound so enthusiastic,"_ she mumbled. But she couldn't help but smile when she saw this time he had three points, too.

" _I'll try to restrain myself."_ He pointed at his target. "Better though."

"Much. You'll be hitting the center every time before the game is done." She checked the clock on the desk next to the weapons locker. "You're already good at this, you know."

Radek was already much better at shooting than Anna when she started, and she couldn't figure out how. Military service was compulsory when he was eighteen, but it was waived since he had much better things to do with his time. The science team had to maintain certain certifications with firearms, but they never had to actually use the weapons except for their biannual test.

Major Lorne and his team had gone back to their own practice. She was probably imagining it when she thought she saw Major Lorne glance in their direction a few times. She didn't know why.

The game was over and, like Anna predicted, Radek started hitting the center relatively quickly. He didn't beat her in points, but he was close enough to call it a win. At least in Anna's eyes. Anna took him through how to clean the gun.

Major Lorne's team split up to put their guns away and they all left separately. By that time, it was lunch and everyone was leaving the shooting range. Major Lorne stayed back.

"I didn't expect dedication like that, Doc," he said tentatively. "I don't think any of the other scientists put in any extra work. At least, not that I see."

Anna smiled. If you couldn't be good, at least be dedicated.

"It helps to have someone to practice with," Radek said.

Major Lorne just smiled. "Yeah, I guess." Maybe he said something like "have a good day" or "see you tomorrow." He left pretty quickly after that.

Anna followed Radek to the mess hall. "I'll practice with you all the time, if you want," she offered as they picked up their tacos, tortilla chips, and tiny little bowls of salsa. Taco Monday?

"That is very generous," Radek said.

Anna shrugged. It wasn't really generous. It was an opportunity to do something with him except work on Doctor McKay's science problems and eat lunch. "Well," she sighed as they sat down at the long table together. She spied Major Lorne sitting at a table by himself, eating a sandwich and apparently contemplating the wall.

She looked back at Radek with hardly another thought for it. "What is family for?"

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Připravení = Ready / Teď = Now

~many thanks to payaxy for setting me straight about some mixed-up words

* * *

 _Next time: Things are happening. I'm not sure if it's good or not._


	67. Spring and Summer

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought_.

 _Previously: Radek had to actually learn how to shoot a gun responsibly, because he's on Major Lorne's team now (since last chapter)! Yay…_

* * *

 **Chapter 67. Spring and Summer.**

" _Have fun on the mainland_." Radek stood in front of the doorway. He looked ready to leave, but he made no move to go out the door. He looked strange, not wearing those khaki-and-blues she was so used to. The darker blue looked downright out of place.

He spun to look at her. " _You are going to the mainland today, right_?"

Anna nodded. " _With Doctor Beckett and Teyla. I think Elizabeth is going, too_." And Radek was going offworld. It was an exciting moment, and a harrowing experience for him.

He was probably thinking about clipping the P-90 to the heavy vest. Probably wondering if the people they were going to visit were friends with the Genii. Would there be terrifying wild animals on this planet? At least there was oxygen.

" _I hope you have a good time. It's springtime where the Athosians are living, isn't it?"_ Anna barely had the time to nod before he asked, " _Do you need a coat?"_

She shook her head. " _I don't think so. It's summer where you're going, isn't it?"_

He didn't look too pleased with that. " _Which means that, even if we aren't going to be running for our lives from Genii weapons fire, we'll be sweating from the sweltering heat."_ He paused and looked around, suddenly zeroing in on his tablet, the text briefing still displayed. " _I think it's even a jungle_."

Anna smiled a little. " _It's a mountain forest and it's the equivalent of June. It should be nice_."

Radek didn't look pleased at her shooting down his attempt to overstate how awful this was. He cast a sideways glance at her as he slid the text up the screen. " _Yes, well, even if the weather is nice, I'm still basically consulting on improving production and quality control of a slaughterhouse._ "

" _And dairy farm._ " _Slaughterhouse_ sounded so bad. Sure, the people on the planet raised lots of animals solely for eating and trading their meat. But they also dealt in other animal products, like milk and eggs, which Atlantis would surely be interested in as well.

" _Hm?_ " Radek was apparently too busy wallowing in his own misery to listen to her for a moment.

Anna sighed and shrugged. " _There's more to it than steak and sausage, I mean,_ " Anna said. " _Besides, don't you like sausage?_ "

Radek seemed to consider that. Shrugged. " _'_ _Meathouse inspector' doesn't look good on the resume, you know._ "

" _Just mark it down as 'consulting for Third World development._ _'_ "

Radek smirked as he turned to her. " _Right. I think that's everything."_ He smiled, spread his hands, and looked down at his new jacket. It was practically brand new, still crisp and with visible folds. " _What do you think?"_

" _You look like a member of a reconnaissance team_ ," Anna said with a smile.

" _I never believed looks could be so deceiving_." He smoothed out his jacket. " _I will see you tonight, probably."_

" _I'll walk with you_ ," Anna said. " _Time to go to the Jumper Bay, anyway. And I wouldn't want to miss your first step through the 'gate with your new team_."

Radek shrugged, like he didn't care either way. Maybe he did. Anna tried to covertly find out about Radek's new team yesterday, mostly by watching them eat their meals, engage in training exercises, and… well, she might have followed them just a bit. They didn't seem to notice, mostly because everywhere they went were places that Anna tended to be herself. Except the men's locker room. She was pretty sure she didn't want to know what went on in there anyway, no matter how telling it would be.

Major Evan Lorne was, of course, the head of the team. He seemed consistently irritated by scientists, and Doctor McKay in particular… but that was common. It wasn't like Doctor McKay only annoyed the military members of Atlantis. He had an easy smile and seemed likeable enough. His team seemed to both respect and like him. He was more thoughtful than Colonel Sheppard, but he was far more inclined to action… That was from the mission reports. Anna skimmed most of the available ones yesterday.

Major Lorne's second-in-command used to be Stevens, but since Stevens' death, Lieutenant Daniel Reed had taken over the position. Reed was imposing, with a square jaw and black hair. He always seemed to be laughing. He seemed to get along well with everyone… except for the ladies of Atlantis. Anna had only been watching them specifically for the last few days, and he had a bad habit of flirting with no less than four women a day. He avoided the military women, probably because most of them looked like they could tie even Reed in a knot and walk away without breaking a sweat. Still, the scientists seemed to regard him as mostly harmless—annoying at worst.

Lieutenant Scott Coughlin didn't seem to say a lot. He was just as large as Reed, broader, pretty generic-looking with brown hair and blue eyes, and with a less forgiving sense of humor. The most Reed ever got from Coughlin in response to any number of his jokes was a bemused grin, a twist to his eyebrows that distinctly said, _Why am I being seen in public with this idiot?_ Kind of like how Radek looked around Doctor McKay, sometimes. Coughlin followed Lorne around like a puppy dog, and he always seemed to have one of those dime-store westerns in his jacket pocket.

Anna didn't know whether to share any of this information with Radek or not. Likely, in a few hours, he'd know all that and much more.

He was nervous, though. His hands were shaking. He tried to hide it, but she noticed just before he put his hands in his pockets in the transporter to the 'gate room. She tried to think of something to say that would maybe help.

She couldn't think of anything.

So she just looked at him and offered a sympathetic smile. " _Hopefully it won't be too bad."_

He sighed and stepped out of the transporter. " _Yes. I hope it won't_." He hesitated. " _It won't be. I'm sure of it_."

Anna didn't accompany him down to the 'gate, instead watching from the Control Room balcony. He fumbled a little with the flak jacket, but no one seemed to take any notice. He looked so strange with the vest and the P-90 clipped to it. He looked so strange standing with a reconnaissance team—made the whole picture look a little off.

Major Lorne and his team seemed to notice that Radek's awkwardness rubbed off on them. Major Lorne looked around in confusion, like he was searching for something out of place, or maybe like he'd forgotten something, and then called his team together for last minute instruction. She distinctly heard Lorne tell Radek to, "Not leave my sight or there will be hell to pay." Radek nodded with gravity.

Toward the end of the instructions, Reed reiterated the importance of Radek staying within their line of sight. He might have said something like, "I will track you down and literally drag your ass back to the 'gate." It may or may not have been in jest.

Elizabeth stepped up next to Anna to watch them go through the 'gate. The blue flickered across the floor, the team's collective shadow disappearing into the light. Then it shut off, and Radek was off on his first recon mission.

Anna was inexplicably worried.

Elizabeth put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It's a simple mission. He'll be fine."

"I know," Anna said. "I'm not worried about the mission."

But Radek was worried. And probably not about being shot at, since Anna was pretty sure this mission involved a welcome feast. People who were scared for their lives didn't have welcome feasts. No, Radek was worried about something else. Anna wasn't sure what.

The team, maybe? Being offworld while everyone was distinctly aware of his place in the lab. Radek had to feel like they would be watching his every step, watching his back because he couldn't really do that himself. Waiting for something to go wrong. Keeping a solid tally of missteps, mistakes, and disasters to bring to Elizabeth at the end of the month just to say, "I told you. He's not cut out for this."

That would be Anna's biggest fear, anyway.

"Are you ready to go?" Elizabeth asked.

Anna nodded. She'd left her coat back in her room, but Radek hadn't said anything about it when they left. They joined Doctor Beckett and Teyla in the Jumper Bay. Doctor Beckett had all of his medical supplies and a healthy stock of candies, even though adults at the Athosian settlement seemed to outnumber the children two-to-one. But adults liked candy, too.

Doctor Beckett smiled when he saw them coming. "Alright, I think that's everyone." He fished a red Jolly Rancher out of his jar and put it in Anna's hand. He gave Elizabeth a blue one. "Everyone take your seats."

Anna was surprised when Doctor Beckett didn't insist on their putting on the seat restraints. On the other hand, if he crashed the Jumper, it wasn't likely to make any difference. Elizabeth and Teyla insisted that Anna sit in the copilot seat, while they stayed in the back compartment. Anna stayed quiet while Doctor Beckett took the Jumper up out of the bay. They were securely over the ocean when Anna turned to him.

"Is it hard? _"_

"What?"

Anna looked at his hands on the controls, the floating lighted display in front of the window that disappeared a second later. "Piloting."

"Oh. Uh, yeah, it's pretty difficult."

Anna still hadn't gotten a Puddle Jumper piloting lesson, but she figured that would come someday. Someday, maybe when Sheppard was feeling better. "Is John better? _"_

"Oh, aye," Doctor Beckett nodded with a smile. "Not significantly, yet, but the treatment started working almost immediately. I've got Doctor Cole monitoring his condition. It'll be a slow recovery, but it'll be full."

"Good _,"_ Anna said. She still wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with him in the first place, but she understood they almost lost him. Ronon, Teyla, and Doctor McKay were in for a lot of downtime, as far as going off world was concerned.

They were both very quiet. Anna thought she heard Elizabeth say Radek's name in the back. She strained to hear, but Teyla spoke in low tones after that, and she couldn't hear anything. Probably wondering how he was doing, like Anna was wondering.

"So, you planning on visiting any friends on the mainland?" Doctor Beckett asked.

"Yeah _,"_ Anna answered. She thought about Iskaan and Panin. She hadn't brought her violin, but it was apparently a very busy time for the Athosians, so they wouldn't have time to play, anyway. "Iskaan told me that when I visited around my birthday, they'd be planting. I can probably help." If "planting" was as easy as it sounded.

"Oh, it's that time of year, is it?" Doctor Beckett winked. "Spring time. Love is in the air."

Anna gave him a disinterested glare. "Is it? _"_

Doctor Beckett shrugged. "Well, you'll certainly be hearing the birds sing about it. The bees, you know, pollenating the plants and whatnot." He cleared his throat awkwardly.

Anna sighed and nodded. Maybe that was all he meant. The birds and the bees.

Doctor Beckett shook his head. "I'll tell you what, these disparate seasons less than an hour away is terribly confusing."

"It's summer where Radek is right now," Anna offered.

Doctor Beckett was right… it was strange to think. Since Atlantis never had any weather to speak of, rain or snow or otherwise, they followed Earth's calendar. However, the planet itself seemed to be offset by a season. When it was winter in the US, the Athosians were ready to plant. Summer in the US meant the Athosians were harvesting, getting ready for winter.

"I hope he's doing well," Doctor Beckett said. He sounded ever so slightly concerned.

Anna sighed. It was well enough Radek had no idea how much hope Anna was putting in his doing well at his new job. He was nervous as it was. Still, Anna hoped to one day follow in his quivering footsteps, offworld and beyond.

"Me, too," Anna said finally. "I really hope he is."

#

"Relax. Nothing is going to kill you." Reed kicked his chair back next to Radek and propped his feet up on a nearby bench.

"I don't think something is going to kill me," Radek said. "Nothing but you, actually."

Radek didn't take him at his word when he threatened to shoot him (non-lethally, of course) if he went wandering off, but didn't want to test it all the same. He stayed within full view of the buffet table and took a leaf of lettuce while Reed helped himself to a handful of what looked like sausage. Everyone looked at Radek like he was eating the garnish, but he couldn't stand to eat anything heavier at the moment.

Coughlin smirked, looking around every now and again like he expected a velociraptor to spring from the nearby trees at any moment. "Then you really don't have to worry," he deadpanned. "I don't think he's killed one thing since we got here."

"Hey, I'm pretty sure I killed two Wraith drones when they were on Atlantis," Reed said. "The odds someone else was shooting them at the exact same time is—"

"Pretty damn good," Coughlin broke in. "There were three recon teams there and twelve drones. Everyone was shooting at something."

"Except McKay," Reed put in.

Radek smiled and Coughlin chuckled. Reed held his peace then, and contemplated the round of what looked like salami in his hand. He sniffed it. "What do you suppose this is?"

"It smelled like minced pork gut," Coughlin said. "I didn't want to touch it."

Radek frowned in the direction of the mystery meat. None of the items on the table smelled particularly good to him, but he figured that was just nerves. Coughlin didn't look like the type to be put off eating by anything like that, especially not nerves.

"Learn to like it," Major Lorne spoke up, approaching the table. "These people are basically the Pegasus galaxy's preeminent ranchers. The village elder, or whatever, Tamlen, will be coming back to Atlantis with us to work out a deal with Elizabeth tonight. With any luck, they'll be providing our diets with some much-needed local protein."

"Oh, nice." Reed didn't take his eyes off his food. "Buy local, save the galaxy." He glanced up. "I think that's why the Wraith are winning."

Major Lorne sat on the bench next to Radek. He took once glance at the leaf in his hand and nudged him with his elbow. "I think you stole some of the rabbits' food, Doc."

"That is not what those were," Coughlin whispered. "Those ugly little hairless rat-things?"

"Ugly?" Reed looked a little hurt.

"They had teeth growing out of their nostrils," Coughlin said.

"Does it really matter how ugly it is if it tastes good?" Major Lorne put in.

Reed leaned back on the table behind him, finally taking his eyes off his meat. "I don't know..." he sighed. "Maybe better if it looks good, too." Reed looked like he was about to take a bite when his jaw dropped.

Coughlin took immediate notice and followed his gaze. Major Lorne did the same, followed by Radek.

"Welcome, welcome, guests. Major Lorne?"

Radek did a double-take as soon as he saw her. She was tall, with silky black hair, and a complexion kissed lightly by the sun. He could easily say he'd never seen a woman quite like her, willowy and delicate-looking, but she obviously possessed no mean amount of strength, either. In short… definitely not unpleasant to look at.

But this was an offworld mission where the sole purpose was diplomacy. Staring—especially—Radek cast a glance at Major Lorne to figure out what he should do. He _should_ be in his lab. But he wasn't.

So when Major Lorne stood, Radek stood up, too. Reed and Coughlin followed suit. Major Lorne looked a bit lost for words. "Yes, I'm Major Evan Lorne," he offered. "Thank you. You must be Tamlen."

She nodded gracefully and offered her hand in a manner that made a handshake awkwardly impossible. Major Lorne took her hand, hesitated for half a moment as though he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it, and finally kissed her knuckle.

Tamlen nodded as if that was precisely the right response. "I hope our season's bounty has been to your liking," she said.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," Major Lorne said with an enthusiastic nod. "Plenty. Very nice." He cleared his throat and turned his eyes away from Tamlen to the long tables with all sorts of food piled up on it.

It was all Radek could do to keep from snorting in hysterical laughter.

Tamlen looked a little disappointed that he didn't have anything else to say about it.

Radek didn't know what he was doing when he pointed at a white meat on the table in front of him. The animal's enclosure wasn't included in their guided tour of the town, but he'd know pigeon anywhere. He'd never eaten pigeon before. He hadn't even tasted this one. In fact, seeing a cooked pigeon even made him the slightest bit sad. Still, someone had to rescue this delicate moment. Why the universe had deigned Radek fit for this task was beyond him.

"The squab is cooked well."

Tamlen smiled at him, while Reed mouthed the word _squab_ to Coughlin. "I'm pleased you like it. Please, everyone, let's eat and get to know one another."

Reed looked like he very much liked that idea.

Radek was about to break away and get something a little more substantial to eat before his growling stomach gave away the lie that he'd tasted some of it. Major Lorne grabbed his arm, though.

"Oh, no you don't, Doc," he said under his breath.

"What did I do?" Radek whispered back.

"Nothing." Major Lorne looked around conspiratorially. "But you know something about animals. So Tamlen likes you. You'll be doing some of the talking this time out. I'd apologize, but, I mean…"

"I'm not a diplomat," Radek hissed. "I only know about pigeons because I used to raise them. I've never even eaten pigeon."

"Then fake it."

Was he serious? He knew who he was talking to, didn't he? Radek never spoke to anyone outside of Atlantis. Certainly never anyone important like potential trading partners. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say?

"You usually have to experience something before you can imitate it, Major."

It was too late. Major Lorne pulled Radek along next to him and joined Tamlen at her table. Radek's heart hammered in his throat. He hoped he didn't trip over his tongue too badly or make an irredeemable fool of himself. He hoped Tamlen was interested in homing pigeons, the place where his knowledge of animals of any kind began and ended. He hoped he didn't screw this up.

He wished Reed would just drag his ass back to the 'gate.

* * *

 _Next time: You got what now? Did I say that's what I wanted?_


	68. Pigeons and People

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek goes on his first offworld mission because he's on Major Lorne's recon team (since chapter 66). Anna goes to hang out with the Athosians as planned (in chapters 57-58)._

* * *

 **Chapter 68. Pigeons and People.**

"Alright, Anna, that's enough." Iskaan crashed onto the ground next to her.

Despite the cool breeze, they were both drenched in sweat under the hot sun. Anna hadn't expected the Athosians to turn full on farmers, but they enjoyed a safety and security they hadn't known for generations. The Wraith wouldn't come here. They could plant all the tuttleroot they wanted. So, apparently, that was what they were going to do.

"I'm almost done." She crawled a bit further in the dirt and scooped out a handful.

It had been a long time since she played in the mud. This wasn't playing, and it wasn't exactly enjoyable. The further she got, though, the more she realized how refreshing it was. It was different from the constant brain work on Atlantis. It was good to be outdoors.

"We'll get back to it," Iskaan said. "It's the hottest part of the day. It's time to eat." He put his hand on her shoulder and offered her a cup with the other.

Anna dropped the bit of tuttleroot into her hole and covered it quickly. She had never seen what a tuttleroot plant looked like, but this plot was going to be pretty dense with it. She supposed she'd see in a few months. She turned to Iskaan and took the cup. "Thank you," she sighed, and took a drink.

Iskaan turned to look toward the tents. A group of hunters was heading out, packing up their things for a few weeks' journey. Anna didn't know how far they strayed from the camp. Iskaan told stories of learning to hunt when he was very small, but Anna couldn't imagine a six-year-old Iskaan being taken very far from camp.

Iskaan suddenly stood and offered her a hand up. "They'll wonder after us if we don't come," he said. He smiled when she accepted his help up. They started walking back toward the group gathering outside of one of the tents.

"Elizabeth told us your birthday was recently," Iskaan offered. He smiled and held his hand out to her. She tentatively held out one of her hands and Iskaan dropped something like twine into it.

She looked at the necklace—it looked a whole lot like a necklace, anyway. "Thank you," she said, unraveling it. The pendant was an orange crystal with black rods through it. It might have been glowing, but it was difficult to tell in the sunlight. "It's lovely." She put it around her neck and pulled on the slipknot.

"Legend says that these crystals were grown by the gods and give awesome powers," he said with a playful smile. "If they do, I've never seen it."

Anna looked down and held it in her palm. She frowned at it for a moment, realizing how familiar it looked. "Where did it come from?" she asked.

"They're on a few planets," Iskaan answered. "There are some here."

It looked exactly like a tiny ZPM. A very, very tiny piece of a ZPM. Of course, there was more to a ZPM than a crystal. But the Ancients had to make a ZPMs out of something, didn't they? Where did they get the crystals that they used to make all their technology?

"They're grown?" Anna asked.

"By the gods," he finished, as though to remind her that the legend wasn't exactly reliable. The Athosians apparently didn't believe in gods. Only the Ancestors. "I'm not even sure which gods are supposed to do it. I've never known a rock to grow, but, I guess, if anyone could do it a god could. Why?"

"They… it's pretty," Anna said. She looked around. "You said there are some here. Can I see?"

He shrugged. "Sure. Can we eat first?"

Anna nodded, for the moment embarrassed at getting carried away with the potential discovery of one of the ingredients for a ZPM. "Sorry. Yeah, let's eat."

Ingredients… she needed those, too, but not for a ZPM.

Anna and Iskaan went to join the others. Doctor Beckett and Elizabeth were talking pleasantly with Halling and Teyla. Another man was there, Anna had been introduced to him this morning as Kanaan. He was very quiet, and he was quiet now. He stood to one side and behind Teyla, listening to everything.

Iskaan offered Anna a piece of bread spread with some sort of sauce and a thick slice of meat. They sat together in the grass next to a tent while they ate. Iskaan looked around for a few seconds, apparently looking for something to talk about.

"How is your father?" he asked suddenly.

Anna glanced at him. "Fine," she said, and tried to make it not sound like a question. "Yours?"

Iskaan nodded. "He's with another group for this season." He smiled with no small amount of pride when he said, "I'm heading our trade this season."

Anna figured that had to be a good thing, and smiled, too. Except she wasn't exactly sure what that meant. "Congratulations. Um… do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Anything," he said.

"Um… I've noticed that most kids here only have one parent. Jinto only has Halling, and Panin only has Nella. You only have Rhetto." She looked around for more children, but most of the ones she'd met only seemed to have one adult that they returned to at the end of the day.

Iskaan nodded. "You do, too," he said. "Is that unusual?"

Anna shrugged. "It's not unusual by itself," she said finally. "But it is when it's everyone."

"Oh." Iskaan finished chewing and explained, "Athosians rarely stay with their entire families. We are split into different groups, and it's common for the people of one group to have children with someone from another. It ensures our lineage keeps going if one of the groups is culled. And then they usually find someone in their own village that they like enough to live with. Not always. But sometimes they do."

That made some sense. She supposed that society had to be very different in a universe where people in spaceships came along and wiped out villages every now and again.

"Traders are more unpredictable," Iskaan said. "My mother is from another planet, but I'm not sure which one. I don't remember her at all, but my father tells me that they lived together for a season before and after I was born. Then he paid her and she left."

"Wait, what? He had to buy you?" Anna interrupted.

He laughed at her tone. Anna supposed she shouldn't sound so annoyed. Iskaan didn't seem irritated at having been bought. "No, it takes a long time to carry a child and giving birth isn't easy."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I know that. I've just never… do parents pay for that kind of thing a lot?"

"If the parents aren't together," Iskaan answered. Anna must have looked stunned, because Iskaan laughed. "It's not that strange, Anna. I know other people do it far differently, but there are plenty of people who do the same thing we do."

But Earth didn't do anything like that. And she'd never been to another planet. Not really. "Earth just doesn't really do that."

"How does Earth do it?"

Anna shrugged. "A lot of people… they get married and they hope they're going to stay together forever. When they have children, both parents usually want to raise them. Sometimes they don't, but probably most of the parents do. I only had my mother because… well, it's a long story. But now I only have Radek because she got sick and… she died."

"Oh…" He hesitated. "I guess I thought everyone on your planet lived a long time because they didn't have the Wraith to worry about."

Anna sighed. "So did I…"

They both looked up when Doctor Beckett approached in the grass. "Hello," he called cheerily. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Iskaan gestured to the grass like it was a prime seat. "Please. How are you, Doctor Beckett?"

"Oh, just finished checking up on everyone." Doctor Beckett sighed over his own small meal of bread and meat. "I'm a wee bit worried that Charin works herself too hard, but what can you do?"

"I think everyone worries that," Iskaan said with a grin. "We haven't been able to get her to sit still for as long as I can remember."

"Aye, been getting that impression." Doctor Beckett looked to Anna. "Will you be ready to go soon, dear?"

Anna sighed and looked at Iskaan. "Maybe you can show me the crystals next time."

"Yeah," Iskaan agreed with a shrug. "When are you coming next, Doctor Beckett?"

"Oh, in three or four weeks, I think." Doctor Beckett smiled widely. "Kylinna is due around then and I'd like to give the baby a once over, just to make sure he's healthy. Would you like to come then, Anna?"

Anna looked down at her hands. "It depends on what day," she said quietly.

"Oh, got some plans?" Doctor Beckett asked.

Anna nodded. "Radek's birthday is in February."

Doctor Beckett looked a little surprised, like he forgot that people actually had birthdays, even though Anna's was only last week. "Oh, lovely. I didn't know that. I should probably… say happy birthday on that day."

Anna laughed. "So should I."

#

"I'm a little confused…" Elizabeth said quietly. She surveyed the mess in the 'gate room with relative calm. Radek admired that, but wished she would just start yelling and get it over with. "How did you go to propose a trade agreement and end up coming back with… pigeons?"

"I have no idea, ma'am," Major Lorne said. "Tamlen is still coming to negotiate, but… I guess these guys are a gift?" Major Lorne leaned down to look at one of the cages.

A pair of white utility pigeons beheld him with uncertainty from within their enclosure fashioned primarily of twigs tied together with twine.

"There's over a dozen birds here, Major. What are we supposed to do with them?" Elizabeth asked.

"There's actually twenty-one," Radek said.

Elizabeth shot him a glare. "That makes it much better. Thank you, Radek."

Radek was surprised by her sarcastic answer, but tried not to pay too much attention to it. The fact was, they had nowhere to keep the birds, nothing to feed them, and no one to take care of them even if they did have suitable dovecotes and feed.

"We should keep them long enough for Tamlen to get here," Major Lorne said. "Wouldn't want to seem rude and get rid of the gifts so soon." He shrugged and stood from looking at the pigeons. "We can let them go on another planet, through the Stargate."

"What?" Radek managed to tone down from shouting in time. "No, no, no, no, Major, these birds are domesticated. They'd never survive if we just tossed them through the 'gate."

"They aren't likely to survive here, either," Elizabeth pointed out. "We can't give them to the Athosians. Most of them are nomadic for a good portion of the year, and they limit their livestock to those that can keep up with them on foot. We don't have anything to feed them or anywhere they could possibly scavenge for food, so what else do you expect us to do with them?"

Radek didn't know why he cared about the pigeons. For all he cared, they could be on the menu for tomorrow night. That would be a waste of some perfectly good breeding pigeons. Twenty pigeons on tomorrow's menu could easily turn into forty next month and more. Plenty of Atlantis team members missed their pets on Earth. Sure, these "pets" would eventually be eaten, but maybe they could be convinced to pick up a new hobby?

"Caring for pigeons is good for thinking… quiet and the pigeons don't argue. Good for community…" What was he thinking? Everyone was staring at him like he'd proposed sending the pigeons through to the Genii as a peace offering.

"I'm sure we could feed them and…" he said finally. He didn't know the benefits, though. "There is nothing better than fresh squab?" He knew his tone wasn't helping his case, and he wasn't even sure why he wanted to keep them so badly. He wasn't sure that, even if they kept them, anyone would want to learn how to slaughter, clean, and feather them. Radek certainly wasn't doing that.

"But where are we going to keep them?" Elizabeth asked again. "Who will take care of them?"

"I don't know. Give me time. It may be worth it."

Reed, watching from a few paces away, shook his head with a small smile. "Precious."

Elizabeth sighed, folding her arms. "Alright. You have two days to figure out what to do with them." She looked at Major Lorne and tried to smile. "Alright, so I suppose the mission was a success otherwise."

Major Lorne nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

She turned to walk back up to the control room. Major Lorne followed her. Reed and Coughlin stayed behind on the 'gate floor to contemplate the pigeons with Radek.

Coughlin didn't seem at all amused by the situation. "What are you planning to do with them?"

All sorts of things. Pigeon eggs could be eaten like chicken eggs and were larger than quail eggs. Pigeon droppings were good for fertilizer. Pigeons didn't seem to mind their young disappearing from nests to be someone's meal… No, that only bothered Radek.

"I suppose we'll find out," Radek answered finally. He checked to make sure Elizabeth wasn't watching and opened a cage. The pigeon was obviously unconcerned with being handled, and viewed its new surroundings with a placidity rarely seen on Atlantis. Maybe they could learn a few things from these birds before they ate them.

Reed suddenly reached out and pet the pigeon on the head with his finger.

"Don't get too attached," Coughlin warned. "You might be eating him tomorrow."

"I'm not getting attached," Reed snapped. "Just feeling it."

Radek watched Reed with a half-smile. Reed seemed to have lost all his good humor and interest in the pigeon. He shifted uncomfortably, adjusting his vest, and finally announced he was going to hit the showers. Coughlin went with him, leaving Radek alone with the pigeons.

" _You don't want to be eaten, do you?"_ he asked the pigeon. The pigeon didn't actually seem to care one way or another, but he said anyway, " _No. You're not for eating."_

He put the pigeon back in the cage and looked at how many of them there were. He once had over thirty pigeons, and an excellent record of pigeons coming back after a race, even if winning a race was a rarity. He hadn't lost a pigeon in years. He was sad to tell his sister to sell off the last of his birds when he was on Earth—his favorite five kept more for sentimental reasons than for intention of racing again—and was relieved when she said she actually liked keeping them. Since it seemed likely he would return before the end of a pigeon's lifespan, he could have them back, but she said she might sue for visitation rights. Pigeons were wonderful animals… better than humans in more ways than one.

He was surprised by how much he wanted to keep these.

Feed was actually the least of his problems. The botany crew was tireless in their research, collecting hundreds of thousands of seeds for future growing and research and… well, Radek imagined there was precious little _interesting_ a botanist could do other than sit around watching the plants grow. Watching seeds sprout was probably the most interesting things they did.

And, fortunately, Doctor Brown was as much an animal enthusiast as she was a plant-lover.

He used to walk past the botany lab every day on his way to the lab. His quarters were closer to the central tower last year and, he figured, it was more important to get a decent walk in before sitting and staring at a screen for eight hours straight. Sometimes the botanists put out baskets of flowers for the scientists to decorate their desks with, or, as Doctor Brown put it, "give a little life to the sterile lab environment."

She had no idea.

Radek turned into the botany lab. The towering ceilings allowed for even mature palm trees to grow back against the wall, light flowing in from slanted windows above. He'd never ventured too far in here… but he couldn't imagine botanists being territorial about their space.

He followed the quiet murmur of voices through the aisles of shrubs, lilies, grains, and tray upon tray of rainbows of moss. He turned a corner, and immediately retreated.

Alright, maybe botanists had a few more interesting things to do than watch the sprouts grow.

Wait just a second. Was that Rodney?

Radek cleared his throat and called, "Doctor Brown, are you here?"

"Uh—um, yes."

Radek waited a few seconds before turning the corner.

Rodney leaned casually on a nearby palm tree, and waved when he saw Radek. "Zelenka—uh, what are you doing here?" He was blissfully unaware of a light smudge of Doctor Brown's lipstick on his face.

"Looking for Doctor Brown." Radek looked between the two. He grinned and offered a retreat to the door. "If I'm interrupting, I can—"

"Oh, no, you're fine," Doctor Brown said. She regained her composure and stood a bit straighter. She smiled brightly and looked around for something plant-related to do. She finally seized on a tray of moss and spritzed it with a spray bottle. "What can I do for you?"

"Major Lorne's team just—"

"Oh, your first mission," Rodney said. "That was today, wasn't it?" He barely gave Radek enough time to nod before asking, "And how did that go?"

Radek shrugged. Judging by Elizabeth's reaction to twenty pigeons, not great. She could have seen it as Atlantis getting twenty new team members, all very polite and not asking for much. But she didn't see it that way.

Radek didn't know how much of his time should be spent playing pigeon advocate.

"Fine, I suppose. Better, actually, because we were given a gift of twenty-one pigeons and I hoped Doctor Brown could tell me if botany could contribute to their diet." He decided not to mention that Elizabeth was going to be a hard sell on keeping them…

Especially since Doctor Brown looked much more excited than perhaps even pigeons warranted. "I have just the thing!" She waved for Radek to follow her much deeper into the labyrinth of plant life than he'd ever gone before.

Rodney followed, his hands in his pockets. Radek was dying to hand him a napkin or something, even though it wasn't _that_ noticeable. Well… on Rodney, it was.

Doctor Brown turned down a row labeled _Pegasus soybeans_ , _Pegasus peanut 1_ , _Pegasus peanut 2_ , _Pegasus grain 1_ , and _Pegasus raspberry tree_. Radek wondered where in the world they were going until Doctor Brown hurried up a half-flight of steps that led outdoors to one of the expansive plazas. Most of them lay unused, the equivalent of a concrete slab on Earth.

Atlantis's botanists had turned this one into an Eden.

It was an organized forest, complete with dirt beneath their feet. Creeping plants contributed to ground cover. Trees reached up the side of the tower. Beyond a couple of trees to their right, a miniature grassland with wildflowers waved in the breeze.

"Do you think this will be enough for your pigeons?" Doctor Brown asked. She walked through the trees, touching the tree trunks and leaves as she went. And she just kept going. Radek knew the Atlantis plazas were enormous, but never this large.

"I think so." Radek looked around. There ought to have been plenty of space for all of them. They might have to build a loft, but that was the easy thing. "I had no idea this was here."

Rodney sniffed in disdain. "I guess it pays to get out of the lab once in a while, doesn't it?"

"Anna comes here sometimes to read." Doctor Brown leaned to one side and pointed at a concrete bench under a tree. Probably the perfect place to read. "We've been busy building this place for the past, oh, six months? We still aren't done, but there are a variety of Pegasus plants, insects, and even a couple of birds and lizards. The corn meal for the bread with dinner two weeks ago came from here." Doctor Brown looked extremely pleased with that.

"We might be raising the scrambled eggs we had for breakfast here, too," Radek said.

Doctor Brown grinned. Rodney followed them around while they picked a location to build the dovecote. He didn't look nearly as pleased as Doctor Brown obviously was. He also was in desperate need of a napkin.

* * *

 _A/N: Everyone ready for school to start again (if it hasn't already)? I'm not. It's started, and I'm not ready..._

* * *

 _Next time: It's okay, I'm ready for anything. Almost. Not really._


	69. No One Ever Heard Of

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek's Mission 1 being on Major Lorne's team (since chapter 66) was a success! Probably. Anna goes to visit John because he's been a bug (since chapter 62-ish) and that kinda sucks. Also has to figure out what to do for Radek's birthday (since chapter 65)._

* * *

 **Chapter 69. No One Ever Heard Of.**

John would finally take visitors. Doctor Beckett said he still looked pretty funny, but at least his eyes weren't yellow. The slit pupils went away last week. He was still on medications to keep him under control, but the dosages had been steadily descending and now he was almost normal.

Anna leaned around the curtain in the infirmary. John wasn't living here, but he wasn't exactly living in his quarters either. His arms were still scaly, even though it had been a few weeks. It was February now, and Radek had been gone a lot. The missions came along with more frequency than either of them were prepared for. He was gone again today. It was fine, because it gave Anna time to get things ready for his birthday and work with Doctor McKay on her science homework.

But there was also plenty of time for other things. Visiting John, for example.

She knocked on the curtain's metal pole frame. "Can I come in?"

He smiled a little bit at her. "Hey, there. Sorry I missed the Puddle Jumper lesson. I told Griffin to give you a lesson on the basics, though. He talks a lot… usually about Spaniards… but he knows what he's doing."

Anna shook her head. "I decided to wait."

John looked truly confused at that, but he just shrugged in answer otherwise. "Okay. What's new?"

Dropping her messenger bag next to the bed, Anna hopped up on the foot of the bed he was sitting on and crossed her legs. "Radek is Major Lorne's Doctor McKay now." She smiled at his reaction of intensely arched eyebrows and a bit of a grin.

"You're kidding."

"No."

"They went through with it." Sheppard shook his head, looking pretty… sad? Why would he be sad? "I can't believe I missed it all. His first trip through the 'gate. Shooting lessons. Physical training. How was it?" Ah, so he wanted to laugh, too.

Anna smiled, never so happy to disappoint someone in her life. "He did really well."

"Really?" John raised his eyebrows. Impressed. He nodded. "Well, I can't say I saw that coming, but I also can't say I thought he'd do terrible. Doubted he'd be happy about it, though."

"He's not." Anna looked around for a moment, just to make sure no one else was nearby. Then she realized the odds were very, very low that Radek would be skulking around the infirmary… unless they came back from the mission early because someone got indigestion at yet another feast. "It's Radek's birthday in a week, too, so I'm trying to put together his present."

"You know," Sheppard said, "before you got here, I sort of forgot that people had birthdays."

"When's your birthday?" Anna asked, knowing full well she probably wouldn't be logging it away for future use… Though, she probably should. Someone should take notice of birthdays, shouldn't they? Even if it was just Anna?

"June," he answered. "Eighteenth. Thirty-four this year. God, when did I get so old?" He smiled.

"That's not old. I don't think…" Anna said. He was only a little younger than Radek, though, and Radek seemed older… Maybe that just because he was her father. "I don't think it is, anyway." On the other hand… he was about twenty years older than her, which actually sounded pretty old.

"So what are you doing for his birthday?" John asked.

"Cooking." Anna sighed. She looked at him dejectedly. "That's really boring, isn't it?"

John shrugged. "I guess it depends on what you're making."

"I'm making soup," she said. John's expression didn't change. "It is boring, isn't it?"

"I didn't say anything." John held his hands up in innocence.

"It's the only thing I think I can make, because I don't really have an oven to use. I'm also making fruit dumplings. I don't know how I'm going to do that, but we never have anything like that here. I thought it'd be nice, since I used to have that at home all the time." Anna shrugged helplessly. "I sort of miss them, so I wonder if he does, too."

"That sounds like a great idea," John said. "Nothing better than food from home for your birthday. Unless, of course, you can get ATA gene therapy…"

"Radek can't." Anna sighed. She slid off the gurney. "Well, I think I should go talk to Doctor Brown. She'll probably be able to give me some fruit to use…"

"Good thinking," John agreed. He turned and stretched out on the gurney. "Hodně štěstí." *

Anna cast a grin at him, but remembered just in time she'd come to return his books. She fished around in her messenger bag and gave him the _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_. "I almost forgot. Thank you for letting me borrow this."

"You're welcome." John opened the front cover and read a line before shutting it again. "Did you like it?"

Anna nodded. "It was very good. Zaphod reminds me a little of Doctor McKay." The narcissism fit, anyway.

"Aren't we glad he doesn't have two heads?" John wondered.

Wow, that would be terrible. She should probably count her blessings. She nodded and took a deep breath. "Oh, yes. I have a question, though, for Radek's birthday. Do you know where I can get some good beer that is not… from Radek?" Everyone else she asked, after scolding her that she was too young told her that, really, Radek was the one they all got their alcohol from since he always seemed to have some. That really wasn't very helpful to her.

John frowned. "Uh. No. Not really. I have some, but… what do you mean by 'good beer'?"

Anna didn't want to tell him that she actually meant the American brands the _Daedalus_ brought weren't good enough, so she just shrugged. "I don't really know. Thank you, anyway."

She left John in the infirmary reading his book.

The botany department was quiet, as usual, when she arrived. Doctor Brown was near the entrance, turning a plant around on her desk in its pot. It had a lovely white bloom that looked like a rose or a hydrangea and had streaks of red in its leaves.

"Oh, hello, Anna," Doctor Brown said when she entered. "We don't have a lesson until tomorrow." She rotated the plant a bit more and then jotted down a quick note on her tablet.

"No, I'm not here for a lesson. I was hoping you could help me. Maybe the botany department could spare some fruit." Anna glanced around in a hurry, since it was more likely Radek would be here than in the infirmary. After all, pigeons were just down a few walkways, up some stairs, and through the back door.

"Fruit." Doctor Brown glanced at her for a moment, then made another note. Finally, her attention landed solely on Anna and she shrugged. "We have some fruit. How much were you thinking?"

"Um…" Anna wasn't entirely sure. "Enough to make ten dumplings is all."

"Fruit… dumplings?" Doctor Brown didn't seem convinced. "Okay, well, we have a few strawberries and blueberries. Things like both of those, but Pegasus varieties. Something sort of like a fig or an apricot…"

Doctor Brown started walking, kept talking. Anna assumed she was supposed to follow. She never took a very close look at the plants as they walked by, and she noticed how very many of them seemed to serve little to no purpose at all. There was even an entire aisle marked "poisonous." Anna wondered why they even bothered to have those here, and then decided that perhaps some poisonous plants could be useful in one way or another. They had pretty flowers.

Doctor Brown finished by handing Anna a small pail. Anna felt a little bad about not listening to a word she said after the apricot. "You can fill this, but don't take much more, alright?" she said.

Anna headed straight for the blueberries, since strawberries were out of the question. It was supposed to taste like home, so… better pick a fruit that actually was from home. She had other plans, too, not just the soup and dumplings. She didn't have Radek's resources and, really, there was no way she could possibly top ATA gene therapy. She had to make it work with what she had.

She had precious little.

She had her violin, so she could play him a song that she remembered her mother saying he liked. She wasn't sure why he liked it or whether he still did, but she learned the melody once from an old music book, and that was what her mother said when she played it for her. "Nonstop" by Michal David.

She had fruit, she had potatoes, and she had pots of boiling water. She did her best to find marjoram, but that was asking for a lot. She settled for the next best thing when not even Gerald could find an exact substitute. It wasn't shaping up to be the best birthday dinner, but at least it wouldn't be terrible.

Anna sighed and looked at her pail of blueberries. " _You can't go wrong with fruit dumplings, right?"_ she said, popping one of the blueberries in her mouth. At least they were sweet.

#

Radek had no idea where Anna had been for the past two weeks. Or maybe it was three. Primarily because he had no idea where he'd been, either. Evidently, in order to break in his newest team member, Major Lorne made sure that he had the worst schedule for 'gate travel this month. Most of the missions were just scanning planets from orbit from the Puddle Jumper. Radek thought he could get used to that kind of thing.

Maybe. Flying wasn't his favorite activity. Though it sure beat hanging around in the woods. Wherever Anna was, he hoped that she was considerably happier than he was. He crouched behind a tree next to Lorne. Lorne leaned his head to his radio to listen.

"Yeah, looks like they've pretty much got the 'gate surrounded," Reed said.

"You two stay out of sight," Lorne instructed. "We'll see what they've got planned."

Major Lorne sank down to the ground next to Radek. He looked at him. "Well, I guess we now know that the Genii have widened their interests."

"Good to know," Radek said. "Even though I'm sure we already knew that." They finally figured out it was impossible to fight the Wraith just by sitting at home in underground cities, killing themselves with radiation poisoning.

Unfortunate.

"Probably just looking around," Lorne said. He kept his eyes up into the surrounding woods, never looking for long at the same spot. He looked like a nervous squirrel.

"You don't have to make things up," Radek muttered. "Or else I will be forced to ask questions. Looking around for what, for example? For us? Maybe for the raw materials for another bomb. Or perhaps they've decided to expand their weaponry. I read the report about the poisonous plants on this planet. Maybe they've moved on to chemical warfare."

"Hm." Lorne smirked and shook his head. "Aren't you a box of rainbows?"

"I helped Rodney work on their last bomb." Radek leaned his head back on the tree behind him and looked up into the branches above them. The one thing he swore to himself he'd never help build again. Limitless energy, fine. Spaceships, please. Weapons of mass destruction? That had a way of blowing up in their faces every time.

And what the hell did they expect, exactly? "The next time someone recruits me to work on the Manhattan Project, please just shoot me."

Lorne chuckled. "Ah, come on, Doc. How else do you expect to beat the Wraith?"

"Being alive helps," Radek said. And radiation poisoning was typically bad for that kind of thing.

Lorne didn't offer any further resistance to the idea of shooting Radek should another Project Arcturus come up… which didn't exactly make Radek feel any better.

"Major Lorne." Reed's voice come over his radio.

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Left behind a couple of guys at the 'gate," Reed said. "If I had to guess, they're just going to stay a couple of hours."

Whatever the opposite of _worried_ was, Lorne was that. Radek wasn't sure he knew what that was. Lorne nodded, scanning the woods as he spoke. "Seems like a good bet. Check to see if they're headed to the village, then head our way. Keep an eye out."

"Copy. Out."

The radio became silent, and the sounds of the forest surrounded them again. Lorne sat down. "Looks like we'll be here for a while." He sighed. "Might as well get comfortable."

Small chance of that happening. This was supposed to be a simple mission. And, well, it was. Everything went off without a hitch. They were supposed to have tea with one of the local traders. It was tea, alright. The most exciting damn cup of tea in his life.

Then the Genii showed up.

Reed and Coughlin managed to get out of town first, and headed toward the 'gate. If the 'gate was clear, Radek and Lorne would go by a different path and they'd all go back to Atlantis together. If it wasn't… apparently, picnic in the woods?

Lorne took a snack bar from his vest. He offered it to Radek. "Hungry?"

Radek glared at the snack bar, directing his hostility for the situation at the granola.

"Alright," Lorne mumbled. He took a bite from his granola bar and looked up at the trees, around the whole wood as though taking it all in. Why he'd want to do that was only slightly beyond Radek's comprehension. It wasn't a sweltering jungle full of death traps, anyway. "It's not so bad. It's a nice day."

"The weather is always nice on Atlantis," Radek pointed out. All the more reason to never leave.

"The tea was good," Lorne suggested.

Radek shook his head. "I don't usually drink tea."

"Alright, well." Lorne sighed, apparently in defeat. Then he smiled a little. "Could still be worse." He shot Radek a grin and said, "You could be McKay."

Radek couldn't help himself. He laughed, shaking his head, because there was really no downside to that scenario that he could think of. While he might trade places with McKay pretty quickly if offered the chance, he wouldn't be McKay for the any world in either galaxy.

Lorne finished up his granola bar, sticking the wrapping in the pocket of his vest. "Alright. Well."

Radek doubted Lorne would be enthused about a game of Prime/Not-Prime.

"Like any sports?" Lorne wondered.

Radek could have laughed. He should have guessed this would be Lorne's preferred method of killing time. "I've been known to watch ice hockey."

Lorne's eyebrows raised. "Really?"

Did he honestly expect Radek to say something like "chess"? Okay, probably he did. And it wouldn't be unfair, either. "It is very popular in my country."

"Like football?"

Radek shrugged. Maybe, more or less that popular. But Americans loved their football—really loved it. And still stubbornly called it football despite never really using their feet to move the ball except for kick-offs and field goals. "I think football is more popular in the Czech Republic than ice hockey…" He smiled at Lorne's look of surprise. "And that would be the legitimate kind of football, what you Americans call soccer."

"Alright, alright." Lorne chuckled. "But I'm pretty sure we call it football because—"

Radek wasn't about to let him finish that. "What?" he asked. "Because the ball is kicked a couple of times in a game? The rest of the world actually uses their feet for more than running in their football."

"Fine, fine," Lorne laughed, holding his hands up in defeat. "I'm not gonna argue. I don't really care about football. Basketball is my sport."

"Basketball," Radek said. He knew virtually nothing about it. "Now, there is a sport I could get behind. That makes sense. You actually put the ball in the basket."

"Okay, I get it. America is stupid because we don't even know what words we're using. I get it." Lorne laughed. Radek wasn't going to argue… even though that wasn't what he thought. "How do you say 'hockey' in Czech?"

"The same, basically," Radek answered. "Hokej."

"Alright." Lorne kicked back against the tree behind him, looking pretty self-satisfied. "So what the hell does 'hockey' mean?"

Radek stared. Smiled a little. He had no idea what hockey meant.

Lorne at least waited to give Radek a chance to answer, which was more than he ever got from Rodney. "See, football isn't so bad. At least it means something. I think." He frowned and then shrugged. "But if you can have hockey, we can have football. Okay?"

"But you also have hockey…" Radek mumbled.

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Some of the best in the world."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You guys win world championships. You know, the USA. Canada. Us. Russia." He paused and smiled. "Not last year, though. Last year, we won the world championship. Beat Canada."

The next time he looked up, Lorne was grinning like he won the lottery. "So you actually do like ice hockey."

"Well, who doesn't watch whatever is on at the bar?"

Lorne took a deep breath and shrugged. Still looked amused as he pointed out, "Didn't know you were in a lot of bars broadcasting world ice hockey championships last year." He looked up toward the trees behind Radek, nodding. "Ice hockey. Huh."

Radek didn't get a chance to say anything on account of being scared out of his skin.

Reed suddenly crashed on the ground next to him. Radek jerked away, his hand flying to the weapon clipped to his vest even though he was still unsure of his ability to effectively use it. He jumped right into Coughlin.

"Geez." Coughlin brushed Radek off and moved aside. "I don't think we could have been more obvious if we brought a megaphone with us."

Radek tried to ignore Lorne's and Reed's laughter. "Do prdele, nesnáším lesy." *

"I swear we weren't trying to sneak up—though now we know how easy it is." Reed caught his breath.

Radek didn't know and didn't answer. It wasn't important anyway. It was probably because he was trying to figure out what "hockey" meant. Just go with that.

Lorne looked like he was giving calm his best shot, but not doing so very well. "What do you know?" he asked, trying to keep his chuckle quiet. "About the Genii?"

"You were right. Probably trading something or something." Reed shrugged noncommittally. He laughed, too, until Radek wanted to snap that there was no way his jump was that funny. "We stayed out of sight, I think."

Coughlin sat so that he could see behind Lorne. He stayed quiet, apparently the only one who didn't find Radek amusing enough to laugh out loud. It was, however, just as likely that he just didn't find anything all that funny. Radek couldn't remember hearing Coughlin laugh ever. He hadn't known him very long, either, though.

Coughlin reached into one of the pockets on his uniform and pulled out an old, yellowed paperback with a tough-looking cowboy on the front of it. That might have been a cow or a horse behind him. Radek couldn't see.

"Radek was just telling me what the word 'hockey' means," Lorne said. "Or just about to tell me he has no idea what 'hockey' means. Because it's apparently a big thing in the Czech Republic."

"You'd think that you'd get along better with McKay, then," Reed said.

"You would think that, wouldn't you…?" Radek shook his head.

He once brought up ice hockey, and Rodney looked at him like he'd grown a third eye. They went about their business for five minutes before Rodney wondered if maybe he "should put in a request for some maple syrup, eh?"

That apparently signaled the end of that conversation. Everyone was quiet for a long time.

Radek contemplated how many times he'd actually watched a hockey game. He did enjoy watching hockey, but he didn't make a habit of it. Still, he kept up for the conversation back in the Czech Republic. It was a habit he didn't seem to get out of. He checked how the national team was doing when he decided he and Anna were returning to Atlantis after all.

"I got it." Reed suddenly looked at Radek with a half-formed grin. "We'll call you Radar."

If that was supposed to be some corruption of his first name, he had no idea. Until now, Reed and Coughlin had both called him "Zelenka," so that assumption was probably off the mark. It was obviously a word, too, but Radek didn't see the connection. "Why?" he asked finally, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Ever seen _M*A*S*H_?" Reed asked.

Coughlin laughed. "Yes. Radar." He approved of this enough to look up from his book.

Radek shook his head in time for Coughlin to see and click his tongue in disappointment. He peered back down at his Western, still shaking his head every now and again. Even Lorne looked distressed at this development.

"It's a TV show," Lorne offered, because Reed was apparently too upset at Radek's having little idea what it was to respond properly. "I won't pretend to have any idea what Reed's talking about beyond that, though." He finished with a glance at Radek. "You really haven't seen it? At all?"

Radek shook his head. He could see future team meetings held around a tiny tablet screen. Popcorn and beer might make it worth it. "Bring it to Atlantis," Radek offered, "and I will bring the beer."

"Now you're talking." Reed nodded in approval, and finally explained, "Okay, Radar is one of the characters in it. Radar was a nickname because he had this, you know, sixth sense. Could hear helicopters before they got there, stuff like that."

"So it's ironic." Radek sighed. Not that he really appreciated the appellation to begin with.

Reed laughed and slapped Radek's shoulder. "It's okay, though," Reed said. "Everyone loves him. I mean, Hawkeye is everyone's favorite, but Radar is a damn close second. It's a compliment."

"It is?" For some reason, he looked at Lorne for confirmation.

Lorne shrugged, like maybe that was an accurate assessment. Maybe it was actually a compliment.

"Also," Coughlin spoke up, "awkward as hell and from a place no one ever heard of. Too good."

"Oh." Radek sighed. There it was. At least he wasn't McKay. "Thanks."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Do prdele, nesnáším lesy = [expletive], I hate the woods.

According to Wikipedia (would trust with my life /s ... but you have to work with what you have), though, M*A*S*H is somewhat popular in the Czech Republic, too. Been playing reruns since the 90s. So. I mean, Radek doesn't watch a lot of TV, though. That's what I say.

* * *

 ** _Thank Yous and Etc._**

 _Linda- Oh my word. I laughed when I saw your comment. Sounds so official. Thank you so much; that is 100% awesome._

 _KeianaLunae- I'm pleased you're still enjoying it! I hope Lorne comes into the story a bit more as time goes on... hence, the wall-contemplation. He is, of course, a favorite. All these great secondaries. Plus, I feel like their relationship being complementary to the one between Sheppard and McKay isn't too far off-canon._

 _AivriZaive- Ah, yes, so much fun. More bonding time than is given credit for has probably happened over pearl grips than pearl necklaces. (I think I jest. But it could be close.)_

 _Adela- I'm glad! I hope the story continues to be lovable._

* * *

 _Next time: Oh, yeah. I've got plenty. Plenty of knives, plenty of hair, plenty of references._


	70. More Than Necessary

_Previously: Radek goes on missions of limited excitement and has bonding time with the team. Anna finishes up preparing for Radek's birthday (since chapter 65)._

* * *

 **Chapter 70. More Than Necessary.**

Anna stepped into the gym, took a deep breath. Teyla told her today she could start learning some empty-hand fighting styles, but Anna wasn't sure where she was. Maybe Anna was early. Ronon was here, but Anna didn't remember Ronon being a part of the deal… though, he probably knew more about empty-hand fighting than almost anyone.

"Hey, Ronon," Anna said. She went to the window seat, where he sat with a bottle of water.

Ronon looked unhappily at the hanging punching bag a few feet away, and then turned his eyes on her.

"You bored, too?" Since John was on house arrest on account of being a bug, his team was grounded, too. It was apparently driving Ronon insane, even though he went offworld with Teyla sometimes to visit her friends and trading partners. He even participated in some training exercises with other teams, and he never did that.

Anna sighed and sat next to him, nodding. "Yeah. Basically all the time." She hesitated for a moment. That wasn't exactly true… "Actually, some of the time."

He grunted with a nod. "I mean, I feel bad Sheppard's a bug and stuff." He frowned, probably at the ridiculousness of the words that just came out of his mouth, and didn't finish his thought.

Anna felt bad for smiling. But at least he was okay now. Even going on his first mission in a month tomorrow. "But you won't be bored tomorrow, right? You get to go offworld huh?"

He nodded. Didn't look particularly pleased. Or not pleased. That meant Ronon was pretty excited about it.

Anna started to wonder if she was ever going to get a Puddle Jumper flying lesson.

She knew she would. John told one of the other accomplished pilots to give her a first lesson, but Anna politely declined. It didn't feel right to her, for some reason. John was like the fun uncle. The _other_ fun uncle. She didn't have many memories of Radek's brother, Miloš, but she remembered he was fun.

Of course, she was five years old. Her five-year-old self had no idea what was going on.

"Are you going to help Teyla teach me how to… um, punch stuff?" Anna laughed at her inept description of whatever it was she was doing today. But Ronon was probably really good at punching stuff.

"Sure." Ronon turned to face her more directly. "Make a fist."

Anna offered the only fist she really ever made, squeezing her thumbs. Ronon sighed as though absolutely irritated and grabbed her hand so fast Anna couldn't even react beyond her heart beating a little faster.

She had the presence of mind to tell herself she was being ridiculous.

"Alright," he said, tapping her knuckles. Anna assumed that meant she should open her hand again. "First off, don't grab your thumbs like that. You'll break them the second you hit anything." Anna nodded and watched him curl her fingers for her. Her fingernails dug into her palm, and then he wrapped his hand around hers.

She must have made some sort of face.

Ronon smiled and said, "It's gonna hurt. Your tendons need to stretch so that your fingers can be flat, here." He slapped his palm against her fingers. "This is what you usually want to hit with." He pointed at her first two knuckles.

Anna felt his eyes on her while she kept looking at her hand. He adjusted the way her hand was positioned. He straightened her hand and wrist until they were completely flat.

"And," he added, "you want your hand to come right off your wrist. Like this is all one straight bone from here…" He touched her elbow. "To here." Then her knuckles. "If you hit something hard and it's not straight, you could break your wrist or your hand or both."

Anna frowned. "I don't know why I thought punching stuff would only hurt the stuff you're punching." She should have known better. Physics, and stuff.

"Yeah, well, hopefully, you'll hurt the stuff you're punching more." He let go of her hand. "Practice. Nothing to worry about."

Anna nodded and dutifully started pressing her fist into her palm, even though it didn't exactly feel great. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"No problem." Ronon hopped up and started his assault on the unsuspecting punching bag. He danced around it, springing off his toes like he didn't weigh any more than a sheet of paper.

Anna watched for a couple of minutes, feeling the sun from the window warm her shoulders while she stretched her tendons. She knew stretching tendons took forever. Months and months, even if they were worked at every day. She'd have time, though, if this week was any indication…

Except next week was Radek's birthday. She would probably take that day off. Of course… she could stretch her hand anywhere.

"Hey, Ronon?" He didn't answer, but he glanced at her for half a second. As much acknowledgement as she was going to get. "I need a knife."

He stopped jumping, dropped his hands. "What for?"

"For Radek…"

"Your dad," Ronon clarified. He considered that information for a few seconds. "Wants a knife."

"No, he doesn't know he's getting a knife… it's a birthday present. It's going to be a surprise." She sighed. Did she really want to explain her reasoning behind this? To Ronon? "He doesn't know how to use a knife yet, but I'm going to show him how. You think I'm ready?"

"I don't know." Ronon shrugged. "Do you think he is?"

Anna smiled. "He'd better be. He's going offworld now, and he needs to be able to protect himself."

Ronon shrugged and walked over to her. He leaned down and pulled three knives from under his pant leg. Then he picked up the shoes he'd taken off and took two knives from in there. Anna watched, mystified, as knives poured from pockets and hidden sheaths all over Ronon's wardrobe. He spread them all out on the bench next to Anna, finishing the display by taking a tiny, sheathed knife from somewhere in his dreadlocks, and putting it on the very end.

"Pick one."

"Really? Wow…" she breathed. "Thanks." Anna looked at the large selection, some more pretty than others. All of them looked dangerous. "Which one do you think?"

"He'd probably get more use out of something like this." Ronon picked up a black-bladed knife that had decorated his belt. A few centimeters of the blade had teeth on one side, but the rest of it was smooth and sharp. Ronon demonstrated a slice, then a stab, leading with the serrated edge. Anna could imagine it would cut almost anything. He flipped it, caught the blade, and handed it to her.

Anna took the knife.

"Good luck," Ronon mumbled, putting his knives away.

Anna knew she was going to need it, if Radek's reaction to Anna even learning how to correctly hold a gun was any indication. On the other hand, he seemed less distressed about the idea of her learning to throw knives… Anna imagined it was a lot harder to kill with a knife. It was closer, only one step removed. Very messy.

Anna shivered and shook her head at the thought.

Teyla came into the gym a few minutes later, looking apologetic. "I am so sorry," she sighed. "I ran into Doctor Moreau outside of the infirmary, and he simply would not stop asking me questions about the Athosian herb garden my people gave Atlantis as a gift last harvest." A moment later, she spied the knife in Anna's hand. She looked at Ronon in confusion, and then at Anna.

Anna decided to rescue her with an explanation. "I needed a present for Radek for his birthday. Ronon was nice enough to give me one."

"It was nothing," Ronon said with a shrug. He grinned when he saw Teyla's face.

Teyla seemed even more confused with the explanation than she was without one. "For Doctor Zelenka?" she repeated. She shook her head uncertainly as she said, "I was unaware he was at all interested in knives. Or any other weaponry, for that matter."

"Big space guns," Ronon pointed out.

Teyla nodded as if that was a good point.

Anna laughed. "I'll show him how to use it. I want him to be able to defend himself offworld."

Teyla absorbed that new information for several seconds, a smile crawling to her lips. She took a step further into the room, getting ready for their lesson. "That is very sweet, Anna," she said finally. She straightened and turned to face her. "Are you ready then?"

Anna nodded, not sure exactly what was sweet about giving Radek a present he was sure to hate. It seemed kind of rude if she thought about it too much. "I'm ready. Ronon showed me how to make a fist."

Teyla looked amused. "Good. We can get started."

#

Atlantis had its own barber. Everyone knew him simply as Matt the Barber. Radek had no idea what his full name was, which was incredible in its own right since he talked so much. Too much, in Radek's opinion. But Matt insisted he was "the best damn barber on Earth." He used to work on aircraft carriers and jumped at the chance to be a barber somewhere that required a very high security clearance.

What barber wouldn't?

"Radek Zelenka!"

Radek had no idea how Matt remembered everyone's name, either. He smiled when he walked into the small room off to the side of the mess hall. Hair clippings littered the floor around the solitary chair and Matt's feet. "Ahoj, Matt."

"The usual?" He patted the chair and snapped out the white poncho used to keep hairs off his customers' shoulders.

Radek took a seat while Matt snapped the poncho around his neck and answered, "Yes." Just a trim. He figured he looked ridiculous no matter what he did with his hair, so he'd better to just keep it the same old ridiculous he'd always had.

"I swear this makes you look like an event planner for a comic convention, or something." Matt gave a disapproving sigh, leaving enough time for Radek to wonder where in the world that came from. "One second, you're a world-class physicist, the next you're freaking out about George Takei's blueberries."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Radek asked. It was surprising how often Star Trek came up around this guy… The blueberries were new, though.

Matt didn't look like he was keen on answering as he tried out his scissors on the empty air between his hands and Radek's hair. "I'm just saying you could do with a different hair-do, you know? Someday, I think, we'll talk you into a more drastic cut, huh?" Matt wondered, gazing at Radek's hair in the mirror for so long Radek started to feel uncomfortable. "Shorter, maybe. With a beard. Get some sort of Bohemian look going. You could pull it off."

Radek smirked. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

Matt gave him a glare in the mirror. "I do not joke about hair." He snapped his scissors a few times before getting to work. Then Matt grinned. "I wasn't lying when I said you could pull it off… but, yeah, it was kind of a joke. Either that or you'd look like a member of the Russian mob." Matt grinned.

"Really?" Radek squinted at his reflection tried to imagine it.

"I'd call you… Anatoly."

Radek sighed.

"What? That is a Russian name, isn't it?"

"And another joke? I hope?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

Radek set his jaw and remembered not to move his head or else Matt would make some sort of dreadful mistake. Maybe cut off his ear. Totally on accident, of course. Russian mob, indeed. "Good one."

Matt was quiet for a few seconds. It wasn't bound to last, of course. "Or!"

Radek rolled his eyes and waited for Matt to continue.

"Maybe not a Russian mobster, more like a fairytale fisherman. You know, once upon a time there was a little fishing village in Maine…? One of the little townspeople that gets turned into a fish by the evil stepmother. Or someone like that. Fairytales are weird, aren't they?"

There was really no way to respond to this guy, was there? "Um, I used to fish," he offered.

"See? Could be perfect."

"Yeah, could be." Radek sighed. "Just stick with the world-class physicist." The world-class physicist who realized why he'd really let his hair-cutting go the past several months. Probably because of conversations like this. "Or the, um, convention…?"

"Convention event planner?" Matt nodded knowingly. "You like comics?"

"I have no idea…"

Matt clipped off the bottom bits of hair and was about halfway done when Major Lorne walked in. It was sort of incredible how often Radek was seeing him lately… or maybe Major Lorne had always been around and he'd just never noticed.

"Hey, Matt. Doc." Major Lorne looked from one of them to the other with a pleasant smile. Maybe his hair was getting on the shaggy side, too. It was impossible to tell, because, well, Radek never noticed him before.

"Evan," Matt returned. He spun Radek in the chair. He continued his mad clipping where Radek couldn't see, but Radek wasn't concerned. There wasn't much he could do to make things any worse. "I'm trying to talk the doc, here, into a beard. What do you think?"

Major Lorne grimaced. "I'm thinking I'm not about to be taking fashion advise from you."

"Excuse me." Matt sounded insulted, spinning Radek back. "Best damn barber on Earth," he reminded.

"Right," Radek spoke up, looking thoughtfully in the mirror.

Maybe a beard wouldn't be bad. Not on Atlantis, though. Maybe later. Much later, in some tomorrowland he couldn't even imagine where he was teaching at some university somewhere. Or at a high school, probably, if his poor luck held. Probably wouldn't even be teaching science.

"But isn't your specialty in taking hair off?"

Major Lorne seemed to find that amusing.

"Alright, Radek. You're done." Matt unbuttoned the smock and spilled the remains of Radek's hair on the floor. He laid it aside and picked up another one, presumably, for Major Lorne. "You're up, Evan. The usual for you, too?"

"The usual." Major Lorne arranged himself comfortably in the chair even though it probably wasn't going to take him two minutes to take half a centimeter off the top of his already short hair.

Matt sounded a bit disappointed as he said, "One friendly small-town robotic deputy coming right up."

When Radek looked at Major Lorne for an explanation, the best that Lorne could apparently offer was a helpless shrug. The look on his face said to _just go with it_. Like a Russian mob boss ever just went with it.

Matt sighed and shook his head. "Best barber on Earth, and you people don't know how to take advantage of it. Every last one of you could be stars. Well… you know, not the literal kind."

Radek was about to leave, but Major Lorne called him back.

"Hey, Doc, come here a second."

"Yes, Major?" Radek stepped back into the room, standing a bit stiffer than he expected just because his commanding officer was talking to him. He was a science team member, not a marine.

"Relax, Doc," Major Lorne laughed. "You're in the barbershop, for god's sake."

"Sorry…" Radek mumbled. "What is it?"

"Just wanted to let you know that the team and a couple of others get together on Wednesday nights to play poker in my quarters. You're part of the team now, so if you're into poker…"

"Gambling isn't a particularly Czech vice, is it?" Matt wondered, apparently feeling left out.

Major Lorne grinned. "You can bring beer. Plenty of room for other vices."

Today was Thursday. Radek just didn't imagine substituting his time spent off with Collins with playing poker with a major and two lieutenants. And a few "others," whoever they were.

Life on Atlantis sometimes defied explanation.

"Anyway," Major Lorne said with a small shrug. "Plenty of room. Not a requirement."

"Thanks," Radek said. He looked around helplessly. "I'll, um… I'll be there." He sighed. He didn't really want to play poker, but it seemed like an important thing to do. Even if Reed and Coughlin insisted on calling him _Radar_.^ "I'll bring my vice."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Ahoj = "hi" and "bye." Like aloha?

^Explanation of Radek's nickname "Radar" in chapter 69. tl;dr: Radar is a character in _M*A*S*H_. As Reed puts it, Radar has this sixth sense, hearing helicopters before they get there and whatnot, so it's ironic because Radek never sees anything coming. It's a compliment, though, because everybody loves Radar, right? Also, Coughlin points out, he's "awkward as hell and from a place no one ever heard of."

* * *

 _A/N: This was just for fun, okay? I've been wanting to do this sort-of inside joke forever; it's a miracle I made it this long. It's been about two years now (whoa what?) since I went on my "watch every episode of anything on Netflix with David Nykl in it" spree... even though I never watched one episode of_ Arrow _before. It all kicked off when I saw Tomorrowland. I literally squealed (and I don't squeal, usually) (then I shuffled over to IMDB to see if it was, indeed, and, indeed, it was) (and then I realized that other guy was Paul McGillion?) (what a day). I was sick and couldn't do much more than sleep for six months; what else was I supposed to do? I mean, besides fanfiction._

 _I'm better now. Thanks for wondering._

 _So, yes, there are, I believe, four references in the last part of this chapter to small roles that David Nykl has played in television or film._ _If you find them all... uh... you win. Yes. You win. Bonus points for Kavan Smith's little reference as well._

 ** _Thank Yous and Etc._**

 _Adela- Glad to hear it. Thanks for reading._

 _KeianaLunae- Yes, well, I can't be tying up all my little story threads in just one chapter. Or two. Or ten. *ahem* Yeah, it may be a while before anything comes of that. I may enjoy dangling things off the edges of cliffs. Just as a hobby. As for M*A*S*H... I haven't watched it in years, but the mild irony plus the similarity in names was apparently enough for me. Would recommend, though._

 _SabreKai- Oh, thank you! I'm glad it's enjoyable._

* * *

 _Next time: It's not gene therapy, but I did my best._


	71. Krásně a Nonstop

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought_.

 _Previously: Anna's preparing for Radek's birthday (chapter 65, 69-70). Radek's been doing team-things (since chapter 66)._

* * *

 **Chapter 71. Krásně a Nonstop.**

Radek always slept in on his days off. Sometimes he actually got to sleep in, because sometimes Doctor McKay didn't call him with some invented emergency. February 7th was a special day, and Atlantis seemed to know. It was eight-thirty in the morning, now.

Anna leaned back on the couch and watched the ceiling while she bowed the strings on her violin. This just wasn't sounding right at all. Of course, it had been a long time since she'd heard the song or seen the sheet music. She committed it to her little twelve-year-old memory for whatever reason, even though the song was older than she was.

That suddenly didn't seem so long, actually.

She wasn't even sure if it sounded right. She didn't remember what it was supposed to sound like.

The door must have slid open and shut without her noticing because Radek spoke up a second later. " _Was that supposed to be '_ Nonstop'?"

Anna spun on the couch and smiled. So it didn't really sound like it. But it sounded like it enough, apparently. " _You could tell?_ "

" _Well, it was recognizable._ " He chuckled and came out into the room.

Anna wasn't sure if that was a compliment or what. " _I was going to play it for you later, but I can't get it to sound right. So… um,_ všechno nejlepší k narozeninám _?_ " *

" _Thank you. It's been years since I heard that song._ "

Anna laughed. " _I imagine it will be a few years more until you do_."

" _It wasn't so bad,_ " he mumbled.

She sighed. " _You're a physicist, not a musician._ "

He shrugged, like that was a good point. But he still didn't look like he was happy with her self-assessment. Michal David was one thing. But if he wanted to hear something by Tchaikovsky, it would be fine.

" _I was learning to play it a long time ago from one of those pop music books mom gave me for fun. When I played it for her, she told me it reminded her of you. And so… I don't know, I always associated it with you,_ " she explained. It was a fair miracle he could tell what it was, much less remember the name of it. There was a long time between 1983 and now. " _Anyway, I didn't commit so much of it to memory, so that's why it sounds awful._ " There was also the issue of it being popular music on a violin with limited arrangement.

He seemed a little amused by that, but didn't say anything else.

" _At least there's fruit dumplings_?" she offered.

He slid his glasses off and cleaned them with the little cloth he kept in his inside jacket pocket. " _At least there's that_..." He glanced up, hopeful. " _Wait, really?_ "

Anna pointed toward the little stove and the dumplings that were only ten minutes cooled. Dumplings cooled fast, but she made sure that the blueberries had the consistency and temperature of magma, so she was pretty sure that they were still good. Besides, powdered sugar made up for a multitude of sins.

Then she noticed he was wearing his uniform.

She jumped up off the couch. " _You're not going to the lab, are you?_ " There went her plans for the rest of the day… She cast a glance toward the little box next to the dumplings wrapped in the brightest-colored fabric she could find. Not a lot of paper on Atlantis.

" _Rodney apparently found something interesting on his mission last night._ " Radek shrugged, a grin on his face. He was going to work on his birthday. People did not look so happy about that. " _An Ancient warship called the_ Aurora."

" _An Ancient warship...!_ "

" _Don't get too excited. It was destroyed,_ " Radek went on. " _But they were able to upload the schematics and other information from its database. Rodney wanted to talk about it this morning, split the work. Do you want to see?_ "

Anna nodded. She set her violin carefully on the counter. She never would have done that last year, but this was a world of alien warships. Her violin didn't seem so important. Who wouldn't want to take a look at alien warship schematics on their birthday, anyway? Probably better than her plans.

Except… " _Dumplings first?_ " she asked.

" _I haven't had fruit dumplings since I left home_."

Anna couldn't help her small smile at his referring to the Czech Republic as _home_. Maybe dumplings had a way of reminding someone where they were from… alien warships or not. She took the plate he handed to her and dabbed her finger on the sprinkled sugar. She licked her finger and then pointed to the box.

" _And that's for you_."

He glanced at the box wrapped in what looked like a curtain. Maybe it used to be. " _You didn't have to…_ "

" _Yes, I did. Sorry about the wrapping job. You wouldn't believe how low-priority wrapping paper is around here._ " She sat on the floor in front of the couch while he brought over the box and his plate of dumplings.

He smiled, eying the box. He looked somewhat concerned about its existence. Like he wasn't sure what to do with a gift. He untied the string holding the fabric wrapped around the box, and lifted the cover.

Pretty much exactly the reaction Anna expected he'd give to receiving a particularly violent-looking knife as a birthday present. It was the shining black knife Ronon gave her. It looked a bit on the dangerous side for Radek… but, then again, he was on the dangerous side what with going offworld and everything.

" _Oh my_ ," he mumbled. He looked afraid to touch it.

" _You're going offworld now. You need to know how to defend yourself up close, right?_ " Anna took the knife out of the box for him and showed him how to hold it. " _I can teach you._ "

He looked less interested in that than he did in the Ancient warship. Expected. He looked sad somehow, like maybe that was the last thing in the galaxy he wanted to be doing on his birthday. She carefully put the knife back in the box and wondered what in the world else she could have done for his birthday.

Math puzzles. She could have tried her hand at making a math puzzle.

That was stupid. She'd never come up with something that would stump him… Except for the knife. That pretty well puzzled him. Maybe she should have waited to give him the knife for April Fool's day… except she really did want to teach him how to use it.

" _Or_ ," she added, " _we don't have to._ "

He cleared his throat and cut one of the dumplings on his plate in half. " _No_ ," he said quietly. " _No, I'd like to do that. Thank you._ " He took a bite of the blueberry dumplings, and nodded appreciatively. " _These are amazing_ ," he said. " _Your mother made them just like this_."

Anna smiled a little. " _Well, she did teach me how to make them_."

" _You learned well_."

He seemed to be in a hurry to leave, so she hurried through eating, too. Couldn't keep those warships waiting, after all. She couldn't believe he wanted to go to the lab on his birthday, but she wasn't going to argue. It was _his_ birthday, after all. They could play chess later.

"There you are," Doctor McKay said irritably when they walked into his lab. "For a while, there, I thought you weren't going to show up."

"Sorry," Radek said, joining him at his console.

Anna frowned at his sudden obsequiousness. Maybe he should skip everything and learn knife defense. Doctor McKay might think twice in the future. "It's his birthday," she snipped. "And his day off. You're lucky we're here." With that, she dragged a chair over to watch the schematics fly by.

"Hm." Doctor McKay looked from Anna to Radek. "Happy birthday. You're older than me, right?"

Anna glanced between them for a moment. If Radek was thirty-eight…

Radek sneered at Doctor McKay. "If your behavior is any indication, yeah."

"Only by a year." Both of them looked at Anna with surprise. "A year and two months."

Doctor McKay was probably surprised, because she knew when his birthday was. His birthday was in April, a year after Radek's and what felt like a universe away. Because Radek was right. Doctor McKay was a child. Anna decided to find out everyone's birthdays after talking with John, and she figured she couldn't just let slide Doctor McKay's now… Or maybe she could make a protest of it. She knew his birthday, and she wasn't celebrating it. Thank you very much.

Radek was probably surprised that Doctor McKay was only a year younger than he was. Because, once again, Doctor McKay was a child. Lest anyone forget that important bit of information.

"Oh, really?" Doctor McKay caught Radek in a glare. "A whole year."

"You're still a child," Radek said.

"And yet," Doctor McKay sighed in satisfaction, "still smarter than you."

Radek took a moment to blink at Doctor McKay as if deciding how to respond. Finally, he didn't. He spun to look at Anna. "Anna. You had other plans for today? Because I think McKay knows what he's doing." Radek slid from the seat he'd taken.

"To je frajer teda," Anna mumbled sarcastically. She headed for the door. She half-expected Radek wouldn't follow her. To her eternal surprise, he did.

"Ježiši." Radek chuckled. "Já s těma hercema nemůžu dělat."

"Oh, come on," Doctor McKay groaned, slapping two laptops shut and picking up a tablet. For some reason, he trailed them out into the hallway. "It's bad enough when he does it. Do you both have to?"

Anna whipped around to grin at Doctor McKay. "No, jo. Proč ne?" **

Radek looked pleased. Maybe _this_ was the best birthday present ever.

"Well, where are you going to go now?" Doctor McKay asked.

Radek looked down at the box in his hand, pulled the lid off it. He showed it to Doctor McKay. "Anna is going to teach me how to use this." He looked at Anna, and joked, " _Probably so I can kill him later?_ "

Anna smiled and shook her head. " _I don't think that would be a very good idea._ "

Doctor McKay immediately halted his steps, apparently imagining their plotting his demise by the very shiny black knife. He might even have recognized it from Ronon's stash. But probably not. "Okay, um…" he mumbled. "Well, have fun. Happy birthday."

"Thank you, Rodney. See you tomorrow."

#

Anna made a good fruit dumpling, and an even better goulash. The day was almost over, a miraculous and legitimate day off, and he still couldn't believe that Anna had gone to such trouble as to put together a birthday celebration. He never thought he'd hold a knife for anything more than chopping ambiguous vegetables for the rare home cooked meal. But today, he had for almost three hours. And, to his surprise, he knew a few good places to cut a human body now.

Radek Zelenka, physicist, knew where the femoral and brachial arteries were. Wonders never ceased.

The strangest thing of all was that he was neither disturbed nor disgusted by his sixteen-year-old daughter explaining a variety of methods of dismembering attackers with a single knife and a few good strikes. Well, as a human being, he was a bit disturbed and disgusted. As the father of that teenaged daughter, he was at least assured that she could defend herself against unwanted attention.

In a pinch, he supposed he could do it. Or at least, assuming her amore lived on Atlantis, treat anyone dating her to very, very cold showers until such a time as they decided to break it off.

He never had such violent thoughts accompany thoughts of romance before. It was probably just part of the father-of-a-teenaged-daughter territory. He watched her carefully put away all the pots and pans… and knives… He didn't envy any boy who noticed how beautiful she was.

" _Well, I hope that wasn't too terrible a birthday_ ," Anna said. She went to sit by the window with her violin. She started plucking the strings. Trying to pick out "Nonstop" again, apparently.

However inaccurate it would be to say he liked the song, it would be equally unfair to say he didn't. It was an easy song to find in the world of retro radio, and had once been Eliška's favorite song. At least, that's what she told him their first night she dragged him out to dance. _Come on, Radek, I love this song. Please?_ Hushing his internal objections, he trailed her to the floor and suffered through. Well, he couldn't quite call watching Ela dance _suffering_ , could he? Besides, the next song turned the lights low, and he held her close for three minutes and twenty-one seconds. Best night of his life.

Yes, he loved that song.

" _You'll have to tell me what your favorite thing to eat is,_ " Anna said suddenly. " _We'll have that next year_."

" _Blueberry dumplings,_ " he said. " _I think you got it_."

She smiled happily up at him for half a second before going back to the violin. " _Good. I think the only Earth fruit we have here are strawberries and blueberries. And…_ "

" _You're allergic to strawberries_ ," Radek said softly. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten that.

" _Well, so are you._ " And she hadn't forgotten that? Must have been listed in his personnel file.

Yeah, right. Right underneath his birthday, it listed his allergy to strawberries. " _It doesn't come up often._ "

Anna smiled and shook her head. Then she went back to plucking the strings of the violin.

He was just going to listen and try to enjoy it. Try to remember when Eliška was alive, they were together, and life was more-or-less beautiful. Always less beautiful than he imagined it, maybe. And these things always ended long before he thought they would. Or should.

Anna sighed and sat up straight, away from the window. " _It wasn't a horrible birthday, was it?_ "

He chuckled, shook his head. The first legitimate birthday celebration he'd had in years. Last year, he gave Collins a beer but didn't say why. It didn't really matter, either. " _No, it was lovely. Thank you._ "

" _Good._ " She looked a little bit ashamed as she bowed the strings once. She suddenly stopped. " _I hope the gift wasn't horrible. I know you probably don't like knives_ …"

He shrugged. He was no knife aficionado, and that was obvious from their lesson today. He came away not only knowing how to hold a knife, but how to give it to somebody else. Blade-first.

She wanted to teach him more tomorrow.

" _I don't think I dislike them…_ " he said.

" _Alright, good. Well…_ " Anna put her violin under her chin. " _I'll give this a shot. Hold all your applause. And your jeering. Because this is going to be really bad, even if it is just the melody line_."

He leaned back on the couch and listened to the clear notes from Anna's violin. It didn't really sound anything like the song that he knew, but that was fine. Just so long as she never heard the truth about the knife.

He'd lied. He hated knives. He hated anything that could hurt anyone. He used to, anyway. Now that he shared a galaxy with life-force vampires, he thought differently. He even thought a little bit differently when he lived on Earth, and learned that there were malevolent worms and self-replicating robots bent on enslaving humans and destroying their planet. That was the first time in his life he could see himself being pleased designing a series of railguns to put on a spaceship.

Alright, he might have appreciated that under other circumstances.

Railguns on spaceships. It didn't get much cooler.

The situation demanded it and he legitimately enjoyed arguing with the other scientists—or, rather, listening to the other scientists argue, since he was so self-conscious about his English—about the best places to put those guns. He just never wanted to see them in action.

Knives were different. He never wanted to get close enough to get someone's blood on his hands. Didn't want to think about how to position the knife to do maximum damage with minimum spray. That was physics. Just not his kind of physics.

But he didn't just "not dislike" that knife.

He _loved_ that knife.

Probably the most beautiful birthday present he could think of. It wasn't so much the knife… no, he was pretty sure he didn't want one of those. He didn't want to know how to hold one, much less how to use one. He could think of a few things he wanted to know above which arteries to cut to lead to an attacker bleeding out as fast as possible. He could go the rest of his life without knowing that, actually. Could go the rest of his life without knowing his daughter knew that, too.

She was right, though. He had to know how to defend himself offworld. She wanted him to be safe.

That was the best birthday present.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

The title means "beautifully and nonstop," and is from the 1983 song "Nonstop" by Michal David. Not sure what it means, because I'm bad with interpreting lyrics when it's a language I know… But it's apparently a song you might still hear around even today, according to this article I read. Maybe a little too old for a twenty-something to consider their favorite, but, as a twenty-something, I still like to hear songs I knew when I was sixteen? I don't know; it seemed reasonable, okay? I still hear "She Will Be Loved" in the grocery store and that song is, like, 15 years old. So? That's the extent of it.

I feel like I'm overthinking this.

* Všechno nejlepší k narozeninám = basically "happy birthday." I think it's something like, "many happy returns of your birthday" or something along those lines.

** To je frajer teda = What a guy or Way to go, man (Thank you, Irresistible) / Ježiši, já s těma hercema nemůžu dělat = Jesus, I can't work with these actors. (Thank you, The Brotherhood) (uh… lol?) / No, jo. Proč ne? = Well, yeah. Why not? (Thank you, Google)

* * *

Thank Yous and Etc.

missmeow1968- I'm glad you enjoyed that. Whoa, you're right though; Eureka/Atlantis crossover? That sounds awesome. I should... I should not write a story for that. This story is a handful on its own. Supernatural/Avengers sounds awesome, though! Thanks for continuing to read!

* * *

 _Next time: I feel like I've been waiting for this forever… a month in about nine chapters forever…_


	72. Top of the World

_Previously: We've been busy. So it's time to catch up on some stuff we haven't been doing. (Chapter 58-59; 62-63)._

* * *

 **Chapter 72. Top of the World.**

"Are you sure you want to come?"

John stood behind the two chairs in the Puddle Jumper, looking at the pilot's chair. He didn't look absolutely sure that he wanted to come. Anna hadn't considered that he wouldn't actually want to teach her, but no one else really seemed enthused about it.

Ronon volunteered to take the back seat, though. He slid into the chair. "Yeah. Why shouldn't I?"

"I don't know, actually. I'm concerned about you being a backseat driver," John mumbled sarcastically. He waved his hand toward the pilot's chair. "Alright, Anna. Lesson one. Turning on the Puddle Jumper."

"Serious?" Ronon leaned forward, an annoyed expression on his face.

Anna smiled and jumped into the pilot's chair. "Radek already taught me how to turn on the Jumper."

"Radek." Ronon considered that for a few seconds.

John nodded impatiently. "Radek Zelenka, the guy who doesn't blow up solar systems, likes knives and pigeons, and doesn't have the ATA gene?" John asked, emphasizing his final phrase. "That Radek?"

Anna smiled when the dark panel of controls in front of her lit up obediently. She glanced at John. "Yes. That one."

John frowned. Maybe he was impressed or irritated. It was hard to tell.

"He says that most people with the gene have no idea how to use it," Anna said.

"Alright, well. I'm pretty sure I know how to use it."

"I think he was talking mostly about Doctor McKay…" Anna offered. Though, he might have been talking about Major Lorne. Or Reed. Or any number of exceptionally lucky individuals with the gene. "He told me that the gene doesn't let me sense the ship, but lets the ship sense me."

"Well, he's got that right." John pointed to Anna's side of the Puddle Jumper. "See those handles, there? Those are the Puddle Jumper controls. Just… don't strangle them, okay? Gentle."

"And try to fly in a straight line," Ronon offered. "I think Sheppard gets space-sick."

Anna glanced back at him to see his self-satisfied smirk. "Inertial dampeners should take care of that."

John sneered at the window in front him. "Look, sitting in a Jumper that McKay is flying is like a rite of passage. If you've done that, you can do anything. His flying is proof that inertial dampeners do their job." John looked at Anna. "But you have to try to get us out of here without banging into the walls."

Anna looked up toward the door in the center of the ceiling. "Is it hard?"

It was a stupid question, she realized after she'd already asked. John made a show of figuring out how to answer. "Piloting a spaceship… hard…? Hm." His sarcasm was so thick, he probably could have choked on it.

Anna sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I mean, maybe, in comparison to learning how to shoot."

"Not even comparable," John answered. He tapped the little handle closest to him and said, "Alright, take the controls. Taking off is, actually, the easy part. It's landing that's hard. Which, if you know anything about piloting, is kind of weird."

Anna didn't know anything about piloting. Maybe that meant it was all going to be hard.

As soon as she coaxed the Puddle Jumper up off the floor, the ceiling above them opened. John was giving her step-by-step instructions about how to push, pull, and turn the controls to get the Puddle Jumper to hover over to the center of the room and then ascend smoothly through the hole in the ceiling.

It was so easy, it was like Anna wasn't really doing it herself.

"Good," John said. He glanced at her for a moment as the Puddle Jumper rose up out of the bay. "Now, just kind of hold us here…"

The entire ocean and the whole planet seemed to stretch out in front of her. Which was good, because there wasn't a lot to crash into out there. This had to be easier than driving a car.

A map suddenly appeared overlaid on her screen. She was pretty sure she didn't do that, so John must have. "Alright, you see where we are?"

A flashing arrow saying "you are here" couldn't have been any clearer. A little dot blinked at her, suddenly sitting on a dotted line that led off over the map of the planet.

"And that's where we want to be," Sheppard finished. "The Jumper's pretty good about responding to input in space, but it can get a little tricky in atmosphere. Try pulling up the sensors. And, uh, don't move the controls."

Anna was careful to not move the controls in her hands as she thought about pulling up the sensors. John told her what all the readings on the screen meant, and which ones she was worried about. Anna was actually more interested in the readings she wasn't "worried about"—meaning, all the readings about the Jumper's power systems, engines, weapons, all that cool stuff that kept the Jumper running… But as long as it was running, apparently, no one cared about it.

John was worried about things like temperature, wind speed and direction. The Puddle Jumper wasn't the most aerodynamic craft in the world, because conserving fuel wasn't much of a concern with its power source. They could fly the Jumpers for hours every day for thousands of years and still have plenty of energy left in reserve. Unfortunately, though, that made it a little trickier to fly in high wind and certain kinds of weather.

It didn't take much more instruction before Anna was off on an only-slightly zig-zagging course toward the mainland. John was right, that once she relaxed and wasn't gripping the controls like she was holding on for dear life, the Jumper was much easier to control. The last half of the trip covered a pretty smooth-looking course over the mainland's untouched beaches and forests. Flying the Jumper was actually so easy that Anna got to get a good look at all the land flying by underneath her while she controlled it.

"Ready to land?" John asked. He grimaced, and then looked at her. "Relax." He glanced back at Ronon. "Did you feel that? When she tensed up right then, the Jumper kind of shuddered?"

Ronon shrugged unhelpfully.

John sighed and looked back at Anna. "It did. So don't do that."

Anna made a concerted effort to loosen her grip on the controls and slow her heartbeat. Teyla taught her how to do that. It was part of some sort of training technique. "Okay, sorry. I'm ready."

John pulled up a topographical map of the meadow below them. "You know basically how to read one of these, right?" John asked. Anna barely had time to nod, before John went on. "The jumper can land in pretty tight spaces, but for your first time, let's just try to set her down not on a hill, okay? Tell me where you want to land."

Anna let go of one of the controls to point.

"Hey, hey, hey, ten-and-two!" John snapped.

Anna didn't know what that meant, but she snapped her hand back to the controls. Her heart rate went out of control again. So much for relaxing her grip.

"You don't get to drive one-handed until you have your license, young lady," John mumbled. "I mean, tell me by thinking it. Show me on the map. But not with your hand."

Anna focused on the map where she thought was a good location to put the Jumper down. To her surprise, an area of the map pulsed and glowed. Words in Ancient popped up at the location, edged in blue.

John smiled and nodded. "Good choice. See, even Jumper 6 agrees." He motioned to the Ancient words and leaned back in his chair. "Alright. Parking is basically like taking off. Just backwards. Give it a shot."

Anna carefully directed the Puddle Jumper to a seat in the meadow, John giving directions as she worked at it. They landed more-or-less gracefully on the bed of grass, and John leaned back in his chair.

Ronon stood up and went to the back of the Jumper while the door opened.

"Congratulations," John said. "First flight and you didn't crash. Time for lunch." He picked up three sacks, pitched one at Ronon, and then put the second one on the console in front of Anna. With that, he walked out into the meadow outside.

Anna couldn't believe how exhausted she felt. She carefully detached her hands from the controls and rubbed them together. They were all sweaty and gross. Picking up her bag, she went to go look at the gorgeous day outside with John and Ronon. Ronon sat on the edge of the ramp with his sandwich while John looked up at the sky a few paces away.

"How did I do?" Anna asked, joining John in the grass.

"Better than Rodney," John offered.

Anna smiled, though she was well aware that wasn't a huge compliment.

"Good enough to drive back, if you want," John added. He raised his eyebrows at Anna.

"Sure." Anna guessed she'd only stop sweating on the controls if she practiced a lot.

John nodded and took a bite of his sandwich. "Good." Then he grimaced, as if remembering something horrifying. "I guess that means the next lesson is parallel parking…"

#

Why he'd been so angry lately. This was why. He could have just tossed this computer off the nearest balcony. That might actually help him feel better, but it wouldn't help the problem. Unfortunately. He tossed his glasses onto the desk and scrubbed the lines from frowning concentration off his forehead.

"Já se už na to můžu vysrat…" *

"That bad?"

Radek snapped up from looking at his screen so fast, he could have strained his neck. "El—um…"

Elizabeth stepped into the lab. She looked incredibly amused. Radek hadn't figured out what exactly made his being scared out of his skin so hysterical, but it was apparently the go-to source of entertainment for a lot of Atlantis' residents.

He also hadn't figured out how to address her, either. These days, he was giving _Doctor Weir_ a sporting try, because she was being more distant than ever. He could say he was surprised. He was… well, he was Radek Zelenka. He decided just to leave it at that. Better to not go through the agonizing systematic comparison of himself to every other man on Atlantis.

Especially when she didn't seem to be interested in any of them.

So, _Doctor Weir_ it was.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"You, uh—I was concentrating. Sorry. Did you need something, Doctor Weir?"

She shook her head at first and then shrugged. "I was looking for Rodney, but he's not in his lab. I was going through the information they uploaded from the _Aurora_ 's database and I had a couple of questions."

"Oh." Radek picked up at that. He knew near as much about it as Rodney did… maybe a little less, since Rodney wasn't busy learning how to stab things a couple of days ago. Radek liked to think he was good at catch-up, though. "I might be able to help you. I was looking at that before I got distracted by… um, this." He gestured helplessly at his computer screen and the lines of code that should have been working but weren't.

Elizabeth squinted at it. "What is this?"

Radek glared at it. "It's, uh… basically a glitch in the operating system." He hoped that was vague enough for her to understand. "Our OS is usually pretty good, but, um, sometimes, under certain circumstances there are bugs that—um—I don't mean to bore you." He turned his eyes off his screen and to the tablet in Elizabeth's hands. Then he glanced up to her eyes.

"No, no, no." She was still smiling. "Not boring."

"But what in the database did you have a question about?"

Elizabeth put her tablet on Radek's table. She had seven different files open, each one talking about a completely different area of the _Aurora_ and Ancient systems in general. Her reading this afternoon apparently ranged from power generation to sensors to Wraith data to battle plans. Radek knew he wouldn't be much help with that last one.

"Wow…" he mumbled, flipping from one file to the next. "Uh, do you have a few hours?"

Elizabeth gave a small chuckle. "Oh, I wasn't expecting a few hours," she said. "Rodney usually just gives me the overview of what I'm missing and then I figure the rest out alone. I figure I should have at least a cursory knowledge of all of these things, in case they come up later, you know?"

A few hours. It was worth a try. He sighed and shrugged, handing it back. "I can probably help with some of these."

Elizabeth took the tablet and cycled through her files and then shrugged. "But I do have a few hours… If you're not busy."

If he hadn't been so surprised, he might have been pleased. "Uh, yeah, a few…" Anna was off with her first Puddle Jumper lesson. He'd been so bugged a few minutes ago, he'd forgotten to worry. Now he'd forgotten to worry for a completely different reason. "Tell me if it gets too boring." He pulled up a few of the data files he remembered from her tablet on his screen and looked to her for some signal to continue. Or stop. Or anything, really.

She just shook her head. "Not boring."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* According to Stargate wiki, "a vulgar expression of frustration where and English speaker might use something like 'screw this' or a more profane equivalent." Thank you, Tao of Rodney. (Wow, that's a frustrating episode for poor Zelenka. So much swearing.)

* * *

 ** _Thank yous and Etc._**

 _MissMeow1968- I'm glad you're enjoying the way the stories are unfolding. I will consider including a mystery of that type in future chapters, and Anna does end up spending more time with the Athosians very soon and tries to solve her own little mystery. Though it's probably not quite as exciting as you're imagining. I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters, anyway, though! Thank you for continuing to read._

 _PegasusPilot- Ah, you're so sweet. Thank you for the compliments; it makes me happy to know you're enjoying this story. I love to hear that Anna's boring, everydayness is not too boring; and also it's nice to know that I've done a passable job with Radek, considering how challenging he is for me. And, no worries. I enjoy this story perhaps as much as you do, and so I shall continue to write this for as long as I'm able!_

* * *

 _Next time: It's nice when things turn out the way you hoped._


	73. More Important

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna's learning Puddle-jumping, Radek's learning running and shooting, also how to talk to people (kinda). Too busy to remember I was sad not too long ago (Chapters 57, 60)._

* * *

 **Chapter 73. More Important.**

Anna sat down next to Radek at the table. Taco Monday was apparently Anna's favorite, but the quarter was nearly over and the menu would change again. Better to enjoy this while it lasted. She never missed a Monday and always went back for seconds.

" _Got my first Puddle Jumper lesson_." She lifted her taco and looked at it, he thought, almost fondly.

Maybe she was just remembering her lesson happily. It would be concerning if she was so affectionate with her taco. " _How was that?_ "

" _It was fun,_ " she said. " _We went to the mainland. Had lunch. Came back. John and Ronon both said I flew better than Rodney. But, you know, I don't think Ronon was paying attention at all. He took a nap in the back seat, actually. Which says something about my flying, I think? Something good?_ "

John and… Ronon, hm…? Perhaps her attachment to the taco would be better. Still, he was happy that she was happy. This was what she'd been waiting for since her birthday, and that was well over a month ago now. She'd been very patient… Radek knew that patience was more something to be proud of a toddler for, but Radek supposed that anyone could get antsy waiting for lessons on how to fly a spaceship.

" _I know that's not exactly a great thing,_ " Anna added, apparently as a joke, " _but I'll take it. It was my first lesson, anyway. In atmosphere, which John says is harder than flying in space._ "

" _Well, I guess it's better to do the harder things first._ " There wasn't any weather to worry about in space. No temperature differentials, pressure systems, no wind, no rain. No massive hurricanes threatening to capsize their city on the sea.

" _Yeah, I think that's the idea._ "

" _I'm glad the lesson went well. Maybe the next time we have to take a Puddle Jumper somewhere, you can fly us instead of Rodney_." He didn't get too much of a chance to think about how much preferable a situation that would be before he glanced at her. He smiled when he saw her eyes light up.

" _Really? You think I could do that?_ "

Radek shrugged. " _Why not?_ "

Anna contemplated her half-eaten taco. Took another bite. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Anna said, " _That would be really cool_."

Radek didn't ever get a chance to imagine Anna driving when she was five… it was so far in the future. He certainly never thought of Anna driving him anywhere, much less driving him places in a spaceship. " _Whenever we go back to Earth,_ " Radek offered, " _you'll probably be the best driver on the roads. Used to watching for traffic in three dimensions_."

Anna giggled and shook her head. " _Go back to Earth_."

Even though he was sure they both knew they couldn't be here forever, it made him happy to know that she liked it here. Enough to not want to return to Earth, anyway. Maybe, like for Radek, Earth was just home to too many bad memories. Anna was too young for that… Maybe Atlantis was home to too many good ones.

" _Hopefully not for a long, long time_."

Anna shrugged. " _Yeah. I guess this can't last forever, huh?_ "

Radek sighed. So little did. " _When is your next lesson?_ "

" _In two days, I think_ ," Anna said. " _Unless one of the next missions goes poorly. Then it might be another month. You never can tell around here._ "

" _Sort of makes it difficult for me to plan to be there for one,_ " Radek mumbled. He was terrified of flying under ordinary circumstances. He knew the Puddle Jumpers like the back of his hand, but he wasn't about to get into one without an experienced pilot at the controls.

But this was his daughter. He made the mistake of not attending more than one recital. He realized too late the quality of the music was of no consequence.

" _I know. But John says that it's hard to teach your own kids how to drive_."

" _Oh, I'm not teaching. I'd just be a backseat driver. With no license._ "

Anna grinned at him, but didn't say anything. She went off to get a second taco. Radek finished his dinner, but he wasn't in a hurry to leave. What else was he going to do, anyway? Look at schematics of the _Aurora_? Anna trotted back with her plate of nacho chips, dip, and a taco. It was, supposedly, the tastiest taco in two galaxies.

" _I was thinking about asking Doctor McKay for something more… practical to do,_ " she said this time.

" _Oh?_ "

Dinner wasn't just about eating. Quality of the food was of no consequence.

#

A quiet night. That was a little different than usual, but Anna wasn't complaining. She stretched out on the floor with a quilt and a pillow, while Radek lounged on the couch with his tablet. She'd seen as she walked behind him to get some tea that he was looking at the _Aurora_ schematics. She had in mind to ask him if it was as interesting as it sounded in a few minutes when she gave up on this homework from Doctor McKay. It was another _Daedalus_ simulation. She was getting so good at these she could do them in her sleep…

Mostly.

His homework got more and more complex, "breaking" more and more _Daedalus_ systems for her to bypass and repair before she could actually answer his questions. Each simulation brought new enemies, spatial anomalies, and time constraints.

Then there was the side homework of making a simple program in Ancient/Human coding that she really wanted to do, but was too irritated by the time she got to it.

Her tablet winked at her in an unfamiliar pulse. She double-checked her simulation to make sure it wasn't actually running yet, and it wasn't. There was no reason the _Daedalus_ should be exploding just yet… She blinked in confusion at the notification she'd never seen before, and opened it.

A letter. A letter to her, from someone named Cathy Collins.

Mrs. Collins. Doctor Collins' mother, probably. It had been converted into a digital format so that it could be sent through the Stargate with the weekly check-up. Her handwriting was in broad cursive, easy to read and friendly-looking. The paper was edged in pictures of flowers and had a little baby deer in the corner looking adoringly at the rest of the page.

 _Dear Anna_ , it started.

Anna pushed herself up off the floor and pulled the tablet into her lap to read it. She thanked her for her letter about her son. She called him Will. Of course, there was no reason she should call him Doctor Collins. She said her English was just fine, perfect even.

 _I'm glad to know that Will had a bit of a life outside his work. I always worried about him, that he was too absorbed in work to see outside. He helped his brother on his homework when they were young. I always knew he would do something big and important, like I suppose he must have been doing before he died._

Another sentence after that was crossed out, but still legible. _I still don't know what that was_.

She moved on to tell Anna about what Doctor Collins was like as a child, and how he wanted to build space shuttles for NASA. She said it was one of the "silly dreams" of youth, but she believed that he could have done it if he stuck to his dreams because he was smart enough. If only Mrs. Collins knew how close he actually was to space.

Anna didn't know how, but she must have been acting differently.

" _Anna?"_ Radek spoke up. " _Are you alright?"_

" _Yes…_ " Anna turned her tablet so he could see it. " _Mrs. Collins wrote me a letter_."

Radek leaned forward to see. He skimmed a few lines, smiling a little. " _I knew it was a good idea to send your letter. Did she appreciate it?"_

Anna nodded. " _She wishes he built spaceships_." She laughed a little, turning the tablet back to finish.

" _Ah…_ " Radek leaned back on the couch, returning to his own tablet. " _He did."_

" _He did?"_ Anna glanced up.

Radek scrolled pensively on his tablet. " _Yeah, it was how he got selected for the expedition. He helped to build the_ Prometheus _. It's how I met him, actually. We were working the Human/Asgard coding and no one knew the Asgard crystal system like he did."_

" _You built spaceships?"_ Anna asked.

He laughed when he looked at her. " _You look so surprised_."

" _I don't know why, I just thought you always worked in a lab_."

" _I do,"_ he said. " _It's not as if I was welding pieces of the hull together. I was… I helped design the weapons and the computer systems made to control them. I wasn't even in the same state as the ship_. _But_ _all the most exciting things happen in a lab."_ He frowned as soon as he said that. He shook his head with a chuckle. " _Alright, I lied. But labs aren't always boring. We'll put it that way. He actually convinced me to come on the project…_ "

" _I didn't know you knew Doctor Collins for so long_ ," she said.

He shrugged. " _I worked by myself most of the time. There was collaboration, and he was patient with my inept attempts at English. We went for drinks with other scientists at the end of the work week."_ He hesitated. Maybe remembering. " _Anyway, he ended up going to Nevada while I stayed in Denver where I worked on weapon design. As soon as we discovered the outpost in Antarctica, I went there. Well… immediately after the Goa'uld were gone, anyway. Then I helped put together the OS for our interface with Atlantis_."

Anna nodded. She remembered Doctor Jackson telling her that in her rundown of history.

She sighed, looking at Mrs. Collins' letter. " _I wish I could tell her that he did get to work on spaceships."_

" _You can tell her it was important work_ ," he suggested.

" _Important enough to die for?"_

They stared at each other for a second. Anna hadn't meant to ask that, really. She bowed her head and sighed, staring at her hands.

" _No."_ Radek finally sighed. " _Very little is important as that_."

Anna couldn't think of anything that was important enough to die for, but decided not to press it. She was afraid to ask what Radek thought was worth dying over, just in case someday the subject came up. Her eyes finally drifted back to the page from Mrs. Collins and she finished reading the letter.

Mrs. Collins expressed sympathies for the death of Anna's mother. She hoped Anna liked it in America, and didn't miss the Czech Republic and her friends there too much. Anna didn't know what to think when she read the very end of the letter.

 _I hope that you are happy and not lonely here. If I know anything about Will's work, it's that it took him away from his family a little bit too often. I hope your father makes time to see you. I know they do important work, but family is more important_.

Maybe Anna had said more in her letter about it than she meant to. She glanced up at Radek. She was fairly sure she could reassure Mrs. Collins that he did. She was sixteen, after all. These days it seemed like he was around far more than she wanted him to be.

She smiled.

" _I think I'll write her back_ ," Anna said, pulling the stylus from alongside the tablet and bringing up a blank digital sheet. It didn't seem like as special an occasion to write on actual paper with an actual pen. She looked up at Radek. " _What should I say?"_

The look on his face said something like, _You're asking me?_ He finally shrugged. " _Tell her about something Collins taught you. Or something_."

Anna pressed the end of the stylus on the tip of her nose while she thought. She glanced up for half a moment. Radek was smiling at her.

Throwing down the stylus, she demanded, " _What?"_ Still couldn't help smiling back.

" _Nothing_ ," he said, going back to his own tablet.

Whatever it was, it was funny. And he wasn't telling Anna. Anna looked down at the tablet and started the letter. It could get sent through the 'gate next week.

 _Dear Mrs. Collins_ , she wrote. _Thank you for your letter. Doctor Collins told me some about his brother. He told me about one winter they got snowed in, and about the bowl of acorns you kept on the table..._

Maybe she and Mrs. Collins would be pen pals. From one galaxy to another.

* * *

 _Next time: Just because I_ can _do things with these Ancient things…_


	74. Going Back Out

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna connected with Collins' mother on Earth, and maybe with Radek a little bit as he filled in a couple of the years they missed._

* * *

 **Chapter 74. Going Back Out.**

" _Have fun,_ miláčku."

Officially, that was the most non-worried Anna had ever heard Radek about her trips to the mainland. Or maybe he was just so absorbed in his work that he forgot to worry about her. The mainland was almost as safe as Atlantis itself was. Maybe even more so. Sometimes people got hurt on the mainland, but more the scrapes and bruises kind of hurt. On Atlantis, shocking was the likely method of injury… which could easily lead to electrocution.

" _Thanks! And you, um…_ " She shrugged. " _You have fun, too?_ "

Chalkboard blues instead of his khakis: a telltale sign that he was leaving Atlantis today, too.

" _Hilarious,_ " Radek said. He smiled at her over his computer screen. " _I have to leave with Major Lorne's team in… damn. Ten minutes._ " He sighed and stood up, shutting off his computer's screen. " _It's hard to get everything done. I don't know how Rodney does it…_ " He frowned, paused. " _Do not tell him I said that_."

Anna laughed, and walked around Radek's desk to show him a couple of notes stuck to his tablet's main screen. " _I won't, but I actually know how Doctor McKay gets everything done_." Because he delegated half of it to Radek. She left Radek to come to that conclusion himself from the bullet list of items from Doctor McKay.

" _At least, he's not here today_."

Radek wasn't paying attention. That was okay with Anna. She left him leaning on his elbows looking at his screen, and headed to the Jumper Bay.

Doctor Beckett wasn't going to the mainland today, which was new for Anna. She'd never been to the mainland with any other doctor. Doctor Adams wasn't exactly thrilled to be going, but he liked to get out of the little infirmary on Atlantis. Anna happened to know that, for Adams, though, "getting out" usually involved practicing his racquet ball out on the plaza.

Griffin waited next to Jumper Four to take them. Anna had never met him, since he was part of the _Daedalus_ crew, but he was apparently a very good pilot and a natural ATA gene carrier. Anna could see that Doctor Adams hadn't arrived yet, but Griffin wasn't growing any gray hairs from it. He brushed his mustache once when he saw Anna.

"Anna Zelenková, check." Griffin made a show of marking her on his passenger list, two names long, and then looked at her. "What's your business on the mainland?"

Anna shrugged, going to stand next to him to see his checklist. "Nothing, really. It's a day off."

Griffin nodded with a grin. "Hey. Mine, too."

Anna smiled as she walked past him to the pilot's seat. She sat in the copilot's chair and turned toward him as he went through a pre-flight checklist. He didn't even look at the list on his tablet, though. He'd obviously done this a dozen times or more. "What are you going to do there?"

"Bird watching."

Anna nodded slowly. She couldn't think of anything more boring, but Radek liked birds, too. Well, pigeons. "I used to go bird watching, sort of, when I was little. Mostly pigeons. There aren't a lot of birds in the city."

"Ah," Griffin smiled and shook his head. "That's just because you don't know where to look."

Griffin's enthusiasm was almost contagious. Almost. Anna couldn't imagine being so interested. "Any birds you want to see there?" she asked.

"There's supposed to be a brown eagle that lives on the mainland, near the ocean, so I might have to go for a little walk to see it." He took a deep breath and then nodded, apparently to himself. "Yep… like the Spanish Imperial eagle. A little different, of course. But I'm no ornithologist."

Anna shook her head, unsure how to respond. "Me, either."

Mercifully, Doctor Adams showed up a second later with all his medical items in tow. He insisted that Anna stay in the copilot's seat and sat on the bench in the back. He started counting bandages for some reason.

Anna thought hard about a map to the mainland and in a moment the bright colors overlaid the windshield looking into the Jumper Bay. "What's our course?" she asked, looking at Griffin.

Griffin nodded as though impressed. "You have the ATA gene?"

"Yeah. I had my first Puddle Jumper flying lesson a few days ago."

"Oh, right." Griffin hesitated for half a moment to lay out the course over the ocean toward the mainland. Pretty much the same course that Anna had flown. He glanced at Anna. "You want to take the controls?"

Anna grinned. "Can I?"

Griffin got out of the pilot's chair and stood back so Anna could take it. "I'm not sure if this is going to be a relaxing activity for my day off, but who really wants to be chauffer on his day off, either?"

Anna jumped into the pilot's chair and took a hold of the controls. She didn't worry about it too much when Doctor Adams offered a well-meaning objection in the back. Something about getting there on time so they could get back before nightfall.

"Nah, it'll be fine. It's a short trip. A couple of minutes isn't going to make much of a difference." Griffin leaned back in the copilot's chair and waved his hand in the air in front of him. "Alright, Anna. Take us out."

#

"Well, that was a waste of time," Radek mumbled, dialing the 'gate back to Atlantis.

"Welcome to 'gate travel!" Reed leaned up against the side of the DHD and contemplated the buttons that Radek was pushing. "It's usually pretty boring. And if it's not boring, I guess, most of the time you're dead. So I don't really know what to think about that."

"That's not true." Lorne chuckled. "We've had our share of excitement."

"Not since Radar^ joined the team," Reed mumbled. "Now… I'm not sure if that means you're a good luck charm, or bad."

Radek tried to think while he dialed. He wasn't sure if it was just his anxiety talking, but he thought some of the missions were downright terrifying. Even if nothing really happened. "I don't know. Some of them were exciting."

Coughlin looked up briefly to add to the conversation. "Ooh. Pigeons."

Radek couldn't help but laugh. That mission, his first mission, had been the best. He still visited the pigeons on a weekly basis, but only late at night when he could be assured no one would see him sneaking through the botany department to say hello to some birds.

Even Radek had to admit he was helplessly strange sometimes.

The 'gate whooshed with the unstable vortex before settling into the placid pool. Lorne sent their IDC and waited to be given the clear. "Just be careful what you wish for, guys…" Lorne warned and walked through the 'gate first.

Radek stepped through at approximately the same time as Reed and stepped out in the 'gate room. He didn't know when he'd get used to that. It was still fairly disorienting.

Elizabeth approached with a tight smile. "You're back early."

"Uh, Jenev is kind of a closed society," Major Lorne said. His face gave the distinct impression that he thought it was as much of a waste of time as Radek did. "Very polite, but completely uninterested in having anything to do with us."

"Better that than hostile, I suppose." Elizabeth faced Lorne more directly. She was about to ask him to do something. Something she felt bad about asking. Radek couldn't help but sigh. So much for getting some work done. "Colonel Sheppard's team is three hours overdue."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Lorne reminded with a smile. "Any radio contact?"

"None since they left." And she was worried.

Radek wasn't actually sure why. Sometimes when Colonel Sheppard's team was on a mission, Rodney was virtually impossible to reach, no matter how big of an emergency they were having on Atlantis. The two-hour check-in was never guaranteed, though Radek waited patiently for it every time.

"Well, you know those guys…" Lorne said, almost echoing Radek's thoughts exactly.

"What do I know about those guys?" Elizabeth asked.

That they never played by the rules, for a start?

"They tend to get all caught up in whatever it is they're doing, and sometimes they don't check in. They forget how much you worry," Lorne said with a pointed look at her. Elizabeth returned the glare. "That we worry. Collectively, I mean."

Radek grinned at his inept attempt to cover up that he wasn't actually worried in the slightest. Even though disappearing for hours wasn't standard operating procedure for Sheppard's team, it wasn't as though it never happened, either.

"Yes, we do," Elizabeth agreed, and looked at everyone in Lorne's team.

Radek supposed he might have been imagining it, but she smiled at him.

"Yeah…" Lorne sighed. He grimaced and looked back to Reed, then Radek, finishing with Coughlin. Coughlin didn't look too interested one way or another. "Okay, you guys, looks like we're heading back out."

Radek was about to ask if it was necessary that he come while the Stargate's lights wheeled and locked in the address for the new planet. Then Elizabeth spoke up.

"Thank you, Major."

Lorne gave Elizabeth a nod. "Not a problem."

Planet to planet to planet. It was enough to make some people's heads spin. Radek looked around the dense forest they stepped out into. First, he looked at the DHD, and then at the surrounding silent forest. All he could hear were birds and insects. It was hot and sticky.

"Spread out," Lorne ordered Reed and Coughlin before tapping Radek's vest. "You're with me, Doc."

"Yes, Major."

Radek hurried to keep his steps in pace with Lorne's. It was still a bit difficult, but easier these days than his first with the team. He kept his eyes up, having learned from experience to never let his guard down. Reed was basically Radek's school of hard knocks on the back of the head if he wasn't paying attention. He'd walk up behind him, and—

 _Whack_.

A well-meaning thump on the back of the head. Radek didn't know what he'd done to suddenly be treated like a child whenever he went outdoors. Radek had learned a couple of Reed's tricks of staying silent in the woods. Not that he could do them himself. He could just see it coming.

Lorne whipped out his life-signs detector, another piece of technology that was useless in Radek's hands. Although, ironically, if it was broken Radek could usually fix it. "You and me," he mumbled, pointing at the flashing white lights on the screen. "Reed and Coughlin."

"What was their mission?" Radek asked. He really ought to pay attention when Rodney was saying things sometimes…

"Following up a tip from one of Teyla's friends on a ZPM," Lorne answered.

"Right. That again." It felt like much of the offworld teams' time was taken up by following up dead-end lead after dead-end lead to find the elusive power source. Reverse-engineering a ZPM was out of the question at the moment. For one thing, the raw materials were oddly absent.

Lorne shook his head in disappointment. "They're not at the coordinates they were meeting."

"That makes sense, doesn't it?" Radek wondered. Unless Teyla's friends liked to do top-secret ZPM business out in the middle of the woods. That wasn't much beyond the realm of possibility now that Radek was really thinking about it…

"If you really believe they went to get a ZPM …" Lorne gave Radek a sideways glance.

Radek didn't believe that, but if he didn't, that meant that they went to yet another planet. If they went to another planet without radioing Atlantis first, they must have been taken without their consent. If that was true… "They could be anywhere right now."

"What?"

"If they aren't on this planet, then they must have been taken somewhere else."

Lorne put his life-signs detector to one side. "We're assuming they're not on this planet, now?" He didn't pause long enough for Radek to say he wasn't assuming anything, he was just realizing how difficult it was to track people when Stargates were involved. "You're right. They should be here, but they aren't. If they aren't on this planet and they didn't check in, they were taken off-world against their will."

"Yes?" That seemed like a reasonable guess to Radek. He had the moment of self-congratulations that he was getting good at this whole off-world thing.

"Can you get the last few addresses dialed from the DHD?" Lorne asked. "Just in case?"

Just in case…? Radek rolled his eyes. "Ještě něco?" *

"So you can," Lorne guessed.

Radek sighed. "You don't know how difficult that would be. If it's possible at all."

"Well, of course it's difficult or I would do it myself. Not really my skill set." Lorne grinned.

Radek stomped toward the DHD. He didn't care if the whole forest heard him. The worst part of it was that if Rodney were here he could probably do it, no problem. "You people are always asking for miracles."

Lorne laughed and threw his arms wide. "Is it my fault you deliver?"

* * *

 **Things**

* Anything else?

^Explanation of Radek's nickname "Radar" in chapter 69. tl;dr: Radar is a character in _M*A*S*H_. As Reed puts it, Radar has this sixth sense, hearing helicopters before they get there and whatnot, so it's ironic because Radek never sees anything coming. It's a compliment, though, because everybody loves Radar, right? Also, Coughlin points out, he's "awkward as hell and from a place no one ever heard of."

* * *

 _ **Thank yous and Etc.**_

 _MissMeow1968- Funny you should mention it, but I was just considering a situation somewhat like that for Anna in the far-flung future. And by that I mean around March next year, far-flung. I'm glad you still like the way it's developing, though._

* * *

 _Next time: Into the woods. But without all the music. And more of the woods._


	75. Lost Boys

_Warning: A bit of this chapter, involving the death of an animal, might be uncomfortable for some readers._

 _Previously: Anna's headed out to the mainland for a day of fun finding orange crystal rock things (chapter 68). Radek's been called upon to do the impossible, since Rodney's too missing to do it himself._

* * *

 **Chapter 75. Lost Boys.**

"Is this spot good enough?" Anna asked, indicating the landing area on the map for Griffin to give his okay. "I mean, I guess it's fine…" The Puddle Jumper already told her the landing area was suitable, but Anna felt the need for a second opinion.

"Looks good," Griffin said. He waited for them to touch down in the field before turning to her as the back door opened. "Not bad, Anna."

"Thanks," Anna said. "What was bad about it, though?"

She looked up through the windshield toward the Athosian settlement while Griffin gave his answer. It looked like everyone was coming out to meet them, including Iskaan. She waved when she saw him, and he waved back. He looked a bit mystified.

"And," Griffin was finishing, "I guess you just need a bit more practice at the controls, keep it flying straight. Still, pretty damn good."

"John said I was holding them too stiffly." Anna looked down at her hands. Her wrists were tired from flying the Jumper, but her palms weren't quite as sweaty. That was an improvement. "I was hoping I'd relax more as I got more practice."

"That's true," Griffin agreed. "But, I think, sometimes you have to practice being relaxed."

Anna laughed, though that made sense. Teyla said she needed to practice being relaxed, too, but that was in reference to her martial arts training. Maybe the same thing held true of Puddle Jumper piloting.

"Thank you for letting me fly it," Anna said, rising from the pilot's chair.

"Anytime. Have fun." Griffin gave a small wave.

Anna dashed past Adams and out of the Jumper.

"Anna!" Iskaan was there to meet her, grasp her arms as soon as she was within reach. Anna's heart did a skip when he touched his forehead to hers for a few seconds before drawing back. She wondered if the Athosian greeting would ever be close to natural for her…

"Were you flying the ship?" he asked, glancing between her and the Puddle Jumper as he asked. He noticed her nod as answer, and smiled. "That's incredible! What is it like?"

"It's, um… hard to explain?" Anna wondered.

Iskaan looked a little disappointed, so she decided to try it again.

"It's like doing almost anything else, except the Puddle Jumper listens to your thoughts. You have to keep an eye on everything and think about what you need to do. It's a little hard, because even though you can do normal things and have a mistaking thought, you can't do that when you're piloting the Puddle Jumper."

"So it's hard?" Iskaan summed up with a grin.

"Hm…" Anna made a show of deliberating, like Sheppard did when she asked him the same question. "Flying a spaceship? Hard?"

Iskaan laughed and shook his head. "I'm glad you're here. Come, I have a few things I want to show you. Did you bring your violin?"

"Not this time…" Playing the violin just wasn't as much fun as it used to be. These days it was something she did while she was alone on Atlantis and there was nothing else to do. She wasn't bored at the Athosian settlement, so why should she play her violin?"

"Oh…" Iskaan considered that, and then paused. "That's alright. I think I'm the only one who was going to practice today, then. Panin was definitely not interested."

"After you show me your, um… whatever it is you're showing me, do you mind taking me where you got this?" Anna held up the necklace he'd given her, the crystals apparently grown by the gods that looked surprisingly like the ZPM crystals.

"Oh, yes, of course," Iskaan agreed. He looked off toward the woods. "It is a long walk."

"That's okay," Anna said. "I have all day. Griffin is going to be bird-watching."

"Bird-watching," Iskaan repeated. "Not hunting, not tracking. Does he tell the weather from them or something?" When Anna shook her head, he snorted in laughter. "Just watching?"

"You can tell the weather from birds?" Anna asked.

Iskaan shrugged. "Only a little. The birds don't know the weather, either, but they have a sense."

"Radek told me about how pigeons can detect changes in the magnetosphere caused by solar flares, so he'd have to check charts before races…" Anna offered. She wasn't sure if solar flares counted as weather.

"Bird-racing, now?"

Anna didn't realize how funny that sounded until Iskaan said it. She giggled.

"Your people are strange, Anna."

That was true, but Anna didn't say anything else about it. As soon as they reached the edge of the camp, Jinto ran up beside them, circled around behind them, and stepped up next to Iskaan.

"Hello, Anna," he said quickly, before charging on, as if he had no time for her. "Iskaan, my father wants me to go check the traps in the woods. Do you want to come?"

"Not really," Iskaan answered. "Anna and I were going to go to the mountains to the crystal field."

Jinto made a face. "Why? It's boring there."

"She wants to see them," Iskaan said. He didn't deny it was boring, though. Maybe Anna didn't want to go. On the other hand, she could have discovered a way to make ZPMs in the future. She wasn't about to back out of that. "Maybe Wex will go."

"You said you'd go," Jinto accused.

"I will, but not today. I'm busy today."

"Do we have to go through the woods to get to the fields?" Anna interrupted.

Both boys paused to look at her. "Yes…" Iskaan answered cautiously.

"We can all go together." Anna didn't see why not. Jinto was a little annoying, but most little kids were. It seemed like the most obvious solution in the world, and Jinto seemed to agree.

"But you don't want to check the traps," Iskaan finished finally.

Anna shrugged. "I don't mind."

"No, I mean, you don't want to check the traps," Iskaan said again. He finished with glaring at Jinto, who was looking pretty smug at Iskaan's proclamation. "It's nothing; you and I can just go to the fields, and Jinto can check the traps. By himself."

"Come on, Iskaan, she's probably not going to make it all the way to the fields, anyway," Jinto muttered.

Anna stared at Jinto. Did he really just say that? "Why, do you have to climb up a cliff face?" she asked sarcastically. When Jinto shook his head uncertainly, she snapped, "Then I think I'll be fine. Thanks. And," she added, looking directly at Iskaan, "I'm not afraid of traps." Whatever there was to be afraid of. Just a couple of dead animals, probably.

She'd never seen a dead animal before. Not up close.

Dead human, though. She'd seen that. She'd seen that a couple of times.

Iskaan sighed and shoved Jinto off toward the woods by his shoulder. "Fine. We'll go with you to check your traps. And then we'll go to the fields." Iskaan looked at Anna. "It's not hard to get there. There's just a bunch of hills and a pretty steep path up the mountain, but it just takes a long time. That's all."

"I'm fine with that," Anna said.

She hoped that she would be as steel-stomached as she felt right now when she saw the traps. She'd managed to keep her lunch down when she saw Collins in the corridor and the dead man on _Daedalus_. As far as she was concerned, it didn't matter how bloody and gory a dead animal was. Nothing was worse than Collins. Nothing.

Jinto ran ahead, positively giddy now that he'd gotten his way.

Anna fell in step next to Iskaan. "I've seen dead things before, you know. I'm not completely helpless."

"I didn't say you were," Iskaan said quietly. "It's just that you… your people, I guess, you're very different from ours. We don't pass your tests for intelligence, but you would need a lot of learning to survive with us."

That was probably true. "But I don't think any less of you just because you don't know anything about Puddle Jumpers or ZPMs. And I wouldn't think you couldn't handle yourself on Atlantis, either." Anna caught back her tone, feeling dangerously close to pouting.

She looked at Iskaan as they walked side by side into the underbrush. Summer was coming and the birds were singing. Griffin would probably have a great day of watching his birds.

"That's true," Iskaan agreed quietly. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Anna said. Now that she thought about it, though, surviving on Atlantis seemed more-or-less easy to do. As long as she didn't go where she wasn't supposed to, and didn't touch anything if she got lost, she was virtually guaranteed survival until she could find someplace she recognized…

But she was too afraid to explore even Atlantis alone. She lived there, every day, but she hadn't seen much more than the same hallways and labs she visited every day.

She couldn't handle herself on Atlantis, could she? She had to handle herself here. It didn't matter how disgusting it was. Jinto would never let her hear the end of it. She could never show her face at the Athosian settlement again if she became sick at the sight of a dead squirrel.

Eventually, they stopped walking.

It wasn't a squirrel.

It was a large, pig-like creature, its back half chomped in a stone-like trap that looked a bit like a bear-trap and a yard sprinkler. Anna wasn't sure how it worked. As far as Anna could tell, it was held up against a nearby tree, but it fell over when the boar stepped through and got caught. The poor thing was covered in blood, its hind legs completely mangled and broken, and part of its belly was torn open. Its sides heaved in fear as they approached. She stopped walking and stood back while Jinto ran up. Her eyes filled with tears of sympathy for the animal.

"Wow." Jinto whistled. "I didn't expect this trap to actually work. I might have to drag it back before going to check the others."

"Just kill it," Iskaan snapped. "No need to stand around talking while it's suffering like this." He drew his own knife, the one Anna had gotten for him on Delbradia.

Jinto rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright." He pulled out his knife and straddled the beast.

It squealed once, short, but it was dead just seconds later. Blood flowed from its neck and pooled out around its body and Jinto's feet.

"Happy now?" Jinto asked.

"What's wrong with you?" Iskaan slammed his knife back into its sheath and stomped over to Jinto. "You're acting like a child. Who do you think you're boasting for?"

"No one!" Jinto yelled back. "I'm not the one showing off. I'm not the one going on a trip to the middle of nowhere with some girl—look at her. She's crying over a stupid boar." Jinto threw a hand in Anna's direction.

Anna tried to wipe away her tears before Iskaan looked at her, but he never did.

"I'm about to cry, Jinto. Look at this mess. Your trap is wasteful." Iskaan kicked the trap open and pulled up one of the animal's broken legs, hanging on to the rest of the creature by its skin and a couple of ligaments. "I told you—look at this. I told you this is what would happen."

"I said I was going to catch a boar, and I did," Jinto said, his voice nearing a whimper.

"Good job!" Iskaan said sarcastically. "Half of the animal is completely useless."

"It's not useless," Jinto mumbled. He stumbled back a few feet away from Iskaan and looked at the boar.

Anna could tell that she probably wouldn't want to eat anything from the shanks of the animal, thanks to exposure to the elements for however long the boar had been here.

"The hide is torn to shreds, the legs are ruined, we can't even use these bones for anything," Iskaan said. "The animal has been lying in the dirt in the daylight; you took too long to check the trap, even if it were a good one." Iskaan finished by holding his hand out toward Jinto.

Jinto ran his arm over his nose and sniffed, looking confused and humiliated. "What?"

"Your rope. You're going to need it to drag this thing back."

Iskaan waited for Jinto to take the rope coiled over his arm and hand it to him. "Next time, we're going to use my traps. And if you want a boar, we'll do it my way. Understand?" Iskaan knelt at the boar's forefeet and tied them together.

Jinto pulled the rope around his waist.

"You got it?" Iskaan asked after he took a couple of steps. The boar didn't so much as budge even when Jinto put all his ten-year-old weight into it.

Still, Jinto nodded stubbornly and kept trying to tug the boar up behind him, even though the boar had to weigh at least what Jinto did. It was bound to weigh much less, eventually, thanks to all the liquid it was losing.

Iskaan sighed and put a hand on the rope. "I'll help you. Anna?"

Anna went to the other side of Jinto and didn't quite know how to help. It was pretty clear Iskaan didn't need either of them. He pulled the rope up over his shoulder and started walking like it was nothing at all.

"Go get your trap," Iskaan said.

Jinto left the rope in Iskaan's capable hands and went back for his bloody and messy trap. It was as tall as he was and almost as wide when it was hanging open. Iskaan pulled the boar behind him at a slow pace. Jinto wasn't bound to catch up, dragging the trap behind him, but he made slow progress toward the settlement.

"This isn't usually what traps are like," Iskaan offered. "We'll be going to check a couple of others. They'll probably be empty, but…"

"It's okay," Anna interrupted. "It… didn't bother me." She knew she was lying, and Iskaan knew that, too.

"It bothers me," he grumbled. "It's irresponsible." He sighed and looked over his shoulder at Jinto.

Anna looked, too. Jinto had wiped his eyes and was frowning at the ground in concentration as he pulled the trap behind him. "I don't think you should have embarrassed him like that," Anna offered.

Iskaan shook his head. "He was trying to embarrass you. Or me. I'm not sure which. He deserved it."

Anna shrugged. That might have been true, that Jinto didn't have the best intentions. He was annoying, and she certainly didn't like him all that much… But she didn't like to see him like this, either. Even though it did give her a bit of satisfaction. She didn't like to admit that, though, even to herself. It reminded her too much of what she thought Doctor McKay might feel when watching his fellow scientists shrink at his accusations of stupidity.

But Jinto felt so bad because he really wanted Iskaan to like him, didn't he? That may not have been true for the scientists on Atlantis… or maybe it was. Doctor McKay was in charge, after all. He was smarter than all of them. It wouldn't kill him to offer a compliment every now and again, would it?

Iskaan sighed. "I guess someday he'll understand."

"Understand? What?"

Iskaan looked at her with a grin. "I'd rather spend time with you."

#

"You can't do any better than this?" Elizabeth sighed, leaning over Radek's chair in the Control Room.

She didn't sound accusatory, but the words reminded him so much of Rodney's disinterested criticisms that Radek couldn't help but bristle.

"The residual imprint on the control crystals is practically non-existent." Radek pointed at the few impressions of data that he'd mined from the control crystals as if she would understand what he was pointing at. "I did the best I could with what I had. Which was practically nothing," he added.

"It's just that fifty planets… that's a lot of checking to do," Elizabeth said.

"Yes," Radek agreed. "Assuming that we get these fifty sets of symbols together and in the right order." Elizabeth didn't look enthused, as she shouldn't have. "Doctor Weir, these things are not designed to store 'gate addresses. It's going to be next to impossible to find Colonel Sheppard and his team based on what we can get from a DHD."

"What other option do we have?" Elizabeth asked.

And that, Radek wanted to say, was beyond his expertise. But he didn't have any alternative options to find Sheppard's team. Waiting around for them to contact Atlantis was not a viable option, obviously. So, Radek was going to sit here and try to untangle these barely legible imprints from control crystals that were only catching them in passing. It simply wasn't their function.

Sort of like going offworld wasn't his. But he was going to do it anyway.

These sorts of things always fell to him.

Radek finally just sighed. "I'm not saying we shouldn't try or that we have any better options. It's just that this option isn't a very good one."

Elizabeth nodded as if she understood. She didn't seem to, though. Not really. "Well, thank you for trying this. And keep working on it. Maybe you'll come up with something."

 _Yeah, and maybe I'll get a couple of clouds for you while I'm at it_. He'd try it if she asked, though. And, so, he would try to do this, too. After all, he had to admit he was a little worried about where they were and what trouble they'd gotten into now.

He just nodded, though. "Yeah. Maybe."

He smiled a little at the ridiculousness, a joke that only he understood. To everyone else, this sort of thing was commonplace and didn't look like much. To people like himself, Rodney, Kusanagi, everyone that understood what was actually going on… this was magic. This was as exciting as running from a swarm of Wraith darts, only without the mortal danger.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Elizabeth asked idly.

Radek glanced up and smiled. He remembered the first time she'd come to see him specifically, she said something very similar. Called him by name and apparently remembered him enough to remind Rodney he existed. The first time he knew for sure she knew who he was, he'd skipped out on her briefing and then told her shut up. Not in those words. He probably said 'please.'

Elizabeth smiled and glanced over her shoulder, as if something might have been there to elicit that reaction from Radek. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing."

He shook his head, sighed, and picked up one of the control crystals he'd pulled from what seemed like a storage facility on the lower levels. He was hoping to learn something from it. Such as, how the imprinting worked and whether he could pull apart the layers of imprinting. But they weren't really layers, it was more like… flipping coins. Flipping a lot of coins. And then trying to figure out whether those coins were heads or tails before he started flipping them in the first place?

This was why he wasn't explaining to Elizabeth what he was doing. Because he didn't know what he was doing. And even if he did, that was a terrible explanation and he didn't even know what it meant.

"Alright. Well, you have authority to pull anyone you need off whatever they're doing to help you."

He appreciated the sentiment, so he nodded. All the eyes looking at this wasn't going to make it much easier. He had Kusanagi, anyway. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Elizabeth threw back as she walked away.

Radek looked at the tablet, and then at the control crystal. This was going to take forever. Colonel Sheppard and his team would probably capture a Wraith hive ship and fly it back here in the time it would take him to puzzle out how to untangle these corrupted 'gate addresses.

He didn't get the moment to arrange his thoughts before Major Lorne walked up.

"How's it going, Doc?" he asked.

"It's not going at all," Radek mumbled. What do people expect, he can think and figure out what they're talking about at the same time?

Major Lorne didn't seem to catch his meaning. "Well, thanks for trying, anyway. It was worth a try, right?"

"It was better than following you through the bushes and brambles in the woods, so, yeah. Probably." He turned his attention off Lorne and fed the information from the crystal into the 'gate's dialing systems.

Major Lorne grinned and pulled up a chair to Radek's station. He didn't touch anything. He never touched anything that looked like a relic, artifact, or Ancient device. Radek often thought he was somewhat like a well-trained dog in that respect.

And then he felt guilty about thinking these things.

Major Lorne just leaned forward, planting his elbows on his knees, and studied Radek's screen like he knew what he was looking at.

"Can I help you?" Radek asked.

"No." Major Lorne glanced at him. "What, am I bothering you? Breathing too loud or something?"

Radek snapped his mouth shut. "Uh. No."

"Okay." Major Lorne went back to looking at the screen as it started putting out potential 'gate addresses. "This is a lot more than fifty addresses."

"Yes," Radek agreed. He didn't know how to explain it, so he didn't.

Lorne paled and watched the screen fill up with the dialing symbols.

Radek watched, too. The real problem was that each of the symbols had "holes" in them, where the code had been flipped from a metaphorical one to a zero. That meant that some of the symbols were just flat-out wrong. It was like writing over a deleted file on one of their computers… without actually saving the original file in the first place.

"We can toss out this one," Major Lorne said, pointing to a line on the screen. "Actually, this one, too."

"Why?"

"They're space 'gates, and we didn't see any indication that there'd been any Wraith in the area," Major Lorne said. "They didn't take a Jumper, and the only people we've ever met who use space 'gates are the Wraith."

Just as Radek was thinking he didn't know if that was a legitimate line of logic, Major Lorne put words to his hesitation.

"I know that just because we've never met anyone else who uses the space 'gates, doesn't mean there aren't any," Major Lorne said. "But we have to narrow down our options somehow, right? Those are our least-likely options."

Radek nodded, and moved the two addresses that Lorne indicated into a separate list. "This is a massive waste of time." Radek glanced at Lorne, who nodded sadly. "Even if we do find the address they went to, I don't think their kidnappers took them straight to their hideout, do you?"

"You didn't tell her that, though." Lorne's tone was low. Not accusing, just matter-of-a-fact. "Did you?"

"No…"

He didn't lie. Just omitted. And he had a sneaking suspicion that Elizabeth knew very well that if Colonel Sheppard's team made it home, it was because they made it themselves. All of them knew there was nothing to do about it, but here they were… trying anyway.

Lorne pointed at the screen. "That planet is covered in ice."

"The whole planet?" Radek wondered. He really should read a few more mission reports.

That was a lot of reading.

"The whole planet. Indications were that no one had been there in ages when we got there, so I doubt that's it." Lorne leaned back in his chair, apparently in this for the long haul. "Weather wasn't great for piloting the Puddle Jumper, either, but I think I'm the only person who's flown a Jumper in a snow storm."

"I doubt this planet was ever dialed from this DHD," Radek mumbled, selecting his own planet for the do-not-dial list. "Deep space sensors show a black hole too close to the planet."

"Wait, so some of these planets weren't even dialed?"

Radek sighed and motioned helplessly at the screen. "It's like writing on a notepad. You press down on the paper very hard, you make an impression on the next pages. Then you turn to the next page and write something different, again, pressing down very hard. You leave another impression on the next pages."

Lorne nodded knowingly.

"Okay, now do that fifty times." Finally, he was getting through. "We are looking at the fifty-first page."

Lorne frowned, looked from Radek, to the screen, and back again.

Radek couldn't help but smile at his baffled look. And Radek didn't even get to explain all the fun algorithms it took to get the symbols this far.

Lorne didn't say anything further about the addresses. He just nodded, and stood. "Well, Doc… I think we're going to need some coffee."

* * *

 _A/N: I know I'm the only one who noticed it, but last week the wordcount for the story was at 183,600. Not as awesome as it could have been (an even thousand!?) but it's unlikely something like that will happen again anytime soon. Certainly not before we reach 200k. ... ... I sure hope some of you people like reading. On the plus side, I feel like this story is well suited to long car rides and stuff._

* * *

 _Next time: Just do it!_


	76. Just Jump

_Previously: Radek and the rest of Atlantis are trying to find Sheppard and his team (who have been missing since chapter 74). Anna is hanging out on the mainland looking for things that look like ZPM rocks (chapter 68)._

* * *

 **Chapter 76. Just Jump.**

It had been hours. This was getting tiresome. On mutual agreement, Radek and Lorne had given up looking for the 'gate address. They could say they were working on it all day and have the same thing to show for it whether they actually worked on it or not. Radek was willing to trust Colonel Sheppard and Rodney for this one. There wasn't a lot they could do to help them from here when they couldn't even find where they'd gone.

Elizabeth sent teams to the addresses that Radek had given her, most of them probably right. Maybe.

It was just past lunch now and hunger was as compelling a reason as any to leave the lab. Major Lorne had already left. The mess hall was mostly empty, since others tended to keep more regular lunch hours. The usual workaholic suspects were sitting alone at their tables, hunched over tablets. Radek, tablet under his arm, was ready to join them. Separately. A group of individuals.

Elizabeth was among them.

Her tablet was propped up so she could read it over a small bowl of pasta salad. Radek picked up a sandwich instead of the salad and walked to Elizabeth's table. He put two fingers on the chair opposite her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Elizabeth glanced up, smiled a little, and shook her head. "Go ahead."

Radek took a seat, tilting his head ever so slightly to look at what was on her tablet. To his surprise, it wasn't his unsolvable puzzle about 'gate addresses. It was other information on the Genii. She seemed to be collecting suspects for the kidnapping now.

"Thank you for putting so much effort into trying to track down the right 'gate address."

"It's nothing."

Well, actually, it was a little bit of something. But it was a strangely good time searching through dozens upon dozens of addresses with Lorne. Radek wondered if he had a nearly photographic memory with as many addresses as he could remember. Maybe he would change his mind about Wednesday night poker. Playing against a photographic memory seemed like a bad idea.

"Still… I appreciate it."

"We're all worried," Radek said. "But sometimes I think it's good to take a break, you know? Helps get your mind back together. Get it back, maybe." He frowned at his inept attempt to describe the feeling of working so hard he was losing his mind… and the feeling he'd heard something like that somewhere before.

Yeah. A very long time ago. He never changed.

Elizabeth sighed, nodded, and reluctantly reached to the side of her tablet. Uncertainly, she ran her long, delicate fingers down the side. Pressed the power button. The tablet went dim.

Radek smiled. "Difficult?"

"Impossibly." Elizabeth laughed. Still, she leaned back in her chair, apparently trying to get comfortable with her bowl of pasta salad. "Is that what you're doing right now?"

Radek shrugged. "There isn't much more I can do for Colonel Sheppard's team, so I was going to figure out what to do next."

"What are your options?" Elizabeth asked.

Before Radek could respond, she stabbed her fork into her bowl and shook her head.

"No, no, no, I'm sorry. You probably don't want to talk about work. You've been working all day. I've been working all day."

"I don't mind." Work was pretty important to both of them. It was why they were here, on Atlantis. And since solving the problem of Colonel Sheppard's missing team was looking unattainable, working hard on something else was the next-best option for occupying a racing mind.

He couldn't think of anything else to talk about.

"I don't think you ever told me what it is you do for fun," Elizabeth said.

Radek didn't know how to answer that. Work was fun. That might be why he worked all the time. Although, he did have fun doing other things. "Well, there's chess, of course." He chuckled and shook his head. "You know Higginson?"

Elizabeth nodded tentatively.

"She has an Xbox—a video game system. I do not play, but watching the others is hilarious."

"Oh, so games in social settings are actually alright?" she asked teasingly.

"I'm hardly a hermit." Radek tried not to scowl too obviously about the way he must have been seen by everyone else. Maybe how he saw Elizabeth. He knew she liked to read, and she might have liked dancing… but he wasn't sure. "I play chess tournaments, and I had many pigeon-racing friends back on Earth."

"Pigeon racing!" Never were the words _pigeon racing_ spoken with such sacred mystery. "You owned pigeons? How many?"

"Well…" Radek sighed. He hated explaining this, because he figured he sounded insane every time he did. "I had a small house in the Czech Republic, but it was on the very outside edge of the city. I had enough space to have a loft of my own—the pigeon house, I mean. But pigeons can be very untidy, so I only had about forty."

Elizabeth looked incredibly amused. "Only forty?"

"Yes." Not very many, though he thought he had fairly good birds. They won races and even if they didn't, they made it home practically all the time. "I had a few Belgian birds with impressive bloodlines at one time."

"Oh, is that important?" Elizabeth asked. "I've never known very much about animals."

"Yes, selective breeding, you know."

Selective breeding... No, he should stop there. He'd better not talk about his favorite bird. He swore he knew Gábin from his whole flock even without his tag. Gábin never had any good children, but that bird flew like a champion for all five years Radek had him. He retired Gábin and kept him in his loft because he was friendly to being handled. His sister had Gábin now, though he was quite old.

"How does racing work, then?" Elizabeth asked.

"For the people who had their own lofts, like me, you take your birds away to the starting point. You let them go, and you hope they fly home. You decide who wins by finding how far the bird had to fly between the starting point and the loft, and how long it took to get there."

"That's amazing…" Elizabeth said.

Radek tried not to laugh at how completely interested she sounded. "They go fast for being so small."

"It's incredible they find their way home."

"Sometimes over a thousand kilometers," Radek said.

Elizabeth shook her head in amazement. "What a hobby."

"It is a little silly… but pigeons make good pets, too."

Elizabeth suddenly stood up. "Let's go see them."

Radek grinned up at her, even though it was a little sad. She was so desperate to get her mind off their missing team of heroes, she wanted to go see the pigeons. With him. "You want to see the pigeons…?" As far as he knew, he was the only one to visit the pigeons for the sake of visiting the pigeons. Not solely to feed them or take their eggs…

"I'm sure it's good for getting your mind back." Elizabeth gave him a beautiful smile as she picked up her tablet. "Are our pigeons nice?"

Radek chuckled and followed Elizabeth out of the mess hall. He hadn't gotten to eat hardly any of his sandwich… but that was alright. "A few of them let me pick them up. I think they know I bring them bread."

Elizabeth picked up a package of crackers as they left. "I've never even touched a bird before."

"If you give them crackers, they will love you," Radek offered.

"Good." Elizabeth stepped into the transporter and waited for him to follow her. "I guess pigeons are good for those days when you need something to appreciate you or to listen to what you have to say."

Radek watched the door open on the empty hallway before them, debating his next words. He didn't have anything to lose. He could talk to the pigeons if it turned out poorly.

"Well," he said as he stepped out into the hallway after her, "you also know where my lab is."

#

The rest of the traps were, like Iskaan said they would be, empty. They were nets on the forest floor, rigged with a pulley system to snatch animals up off the ground and hold them until Iskaan or someone else could come along, take the animals down, and kill them. It seemed a bit more dangerous for the person checking the traps, but much easier to save most of the animal for eating or… well, whatever else they did with them.

The nets were also easier to drag back to the settlement.

Iskaan grudgingly agreed that Jinto could come with them to the fields, at Anna's slightly disapproving glare when he seemed to be considering saying no.

There was no harm in letting Jinto come along… At least, not physically. Not unless Jinto was rude, then Iskaan might hurt him. Or maybe Anna would. He was getting pretty annoying.

Jinto stayed mostly quiet on the hike to the fields, though. Maybe he was considering just how difficult a hike it was for him, as well. Anna was mostly pleased with her ability to keep up with Iskaan. Iskaan said it was a mountain, and he didn't lie. It didn't look all that steep standing at the bottom, but on the way up her legs burned and her lungs gasped for breath.

Iskaan paused his hike on a boulder, and looked down at a river cutting a path between the two peaks. "Take a second and look," he said.

It was nice of him to disguise a break as a moment to enjoy the scenery. Even Jinto plopped down on the ground beside her to look at the valley of trees they'd just left behind.

"Where's the settlement?" Anna asked, squinting.

Iskaan pointed toward the mountain next to them. "It's behind this mountain. You can't see it from here. We won't be able to see it for the rest of the trip… unless we wanted to keep going up the mountain to the ring path."

"What's that?" Anna asked.

"Just the path that goes around the top of the mountain. Only hunters use it to get to the other side." Iskaan waited for a few more minutes while everyone caught their breaths. "Is everybody ready?"

Jinto jumped up and ran up the path.

Iskaan offered Anna a hand up.

"Sorry I'm so slow…" Anna sighed. Slow and uncoordinated. She was basically like a small baby, and Iskaan had to teach her how to walk.

Iskaan waved away her apology, though. "Don't think that we run from place to place like Jinto's doing right now. A hunter doesn't waste energy like that. Quick bursts of speed can save your life, but no one ever runs up a mountain like that."

"I guess that makes sense." Anna laughed a little as Jinto ran out of sight.

The fields were just at the top of the mountain, though Anna would never have guessed it was there. The mountains still rose beyond and higher toward the clouds, but this little area flattened out to form a plateau in the mountain's side. A pond rippled in the breeze, and the space was littered with orange crystals that looked like a thousand tiny ZPMs.

Anna went to the nearest stump of crystals and picked one up. "Do you know what they're for?"

"What they're for?" Iskaan repeated. He also picked up a clump of crystal and turned it in his hands.

"In the stories," Anna answered. "What the gods grew them for. Did they eat them or…?"

"Oh." Iskaan put his crystal down and picked up a handful of tiny pieces. He laughed, maybe at Anna's suggestion that the gods might eat the crystals… but, then, he was talking about gods. "No, they used them to build their cities. I always wondered what those cities might look like."

Anna held her crystal up to the sun. "Very orange."

Building cities with the crystals could have been a metaphor, though. A city of an advanced civilization needed power to operate. The Ancients probably couldn't build cities without them. Certainly couldn't run cities without them. She tucked the crystal under her arm and looked around.

"They're all around here," she observed.

They covered the ground, poking up from the dirt, hiding behind trees. A few very large ones emerged from the pond. The one Anna held under her arm was too small to be a ZPM, but it was still fairly large. She didn't know what she was going to do with it when she got back to Atlantis. Maybe sneak into the geology lab and run an analysis on the composition… and then compare it with a ZPM?

"There are even more in a cave back in the mountain," Iskaan answered. "Some societies think of them as being very valuable commodities, but they're mostly just for decoration."

"So not very useful…" Anna mumbled. Of course, she was pretty sure that ancient civilizations had no idea how good gold or copper were at conducting electricity. They were just shiny. Like these crystals were just shiny.

Iskaan shrugged. "Not really. Want to see the cave?"

They walked back to the cave. It went back further than Anna wanted to go, though Jinto explored back beyond the dim light to where Iskaan and Anna couldn't see him. She was inexplicably worried until he emerged with a very large piece of crystal in both of his arms. He put it down and they all looked at it like it was the most amazing crystal since all the other crystals they passed outside.

They shared a flat cake Iskaan brought, and decided to go back down the mountain through the gorge.

The entrance to the gorge was a steep cliff face that Jinto scrambled down easily like he was a little mountain goat. Iskaan took it in a single leap, caught Anna's crystal when she threw it to him, and then held his hands out to catch her, too.

"I'm here if you fall," he said.

Anna looked for the footholds that Jinto so easily found, but didn't see them. She sighed and backed down the cliff, her white fingers gripping the edge of the rocks. She was very glad she hadn't been born into a hunter/gatherer society. She probably would have died in infancy.

Slowly, one foot and one hand at a time, she picked her way down.

"Anna," Iskaan said after she'd been at it for a while.

"What?" Anna hugged the wall close and looked for somewhere to put her hand.

He chuckled. "Just jump."

"That's okay." Anna had to admit that had a certain appeal since she couldn't get a good grip because her hands were sweating. "I'm almost there."

"No, I mean, you are there. You're less than a foot away from the ground."

Anna looked down, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. She slid down, none too gracefully, to the rocks beneath and whipped around to face him. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she demanded, picking up her crystal from beside his feet.

"You were concentrating so hard. I didn't want to interrupt." He tilted his head and stared at her. Anna never noticed before just now how dark his eyes were. Dark brown and rich. Like chocolate. "It was cute."

"Interrupt me next time," she snapped and started to stomp down the path to the river after Jinto.

Iskaan stepped in her way.

Anna's heart leaped into her throat. She wasn't sure what he was going to do but… he was close, with only the orange crystal between them. He put his hands on the crystal. His fingers brushed against hers.

"Let me carry it for you?"

She took her hands off the crystal a little too quickly. "Okay…" she said quietly. "Um… thanks."

They started down the path together after Jinto. Anna made a comment now and again about how pretty it was down here, just to fill the awkward silence that had settled between them. It really was pretty, since all the leaves on the trees blocked out the hot summer sun. She could hear the river below, lazily pouring over pebbles and around rocks. Birds chirped and squirrels chattered.

And Iskaan was walking next to her. He wasn't saying anything, but that was probably a good thing. She was afraid of what he might say if he opened his mouth.

"Oh, Iskaan…" Jinto said, his tone falling in what sounded like disappointment or confusion. "The path is blocked ahead."

"By what?" Iskaan called back.

"A tree fell across."

They went a few more feet and saw that Jinto was right. An enormous oak-like tree and been uprooted from the mountain above, and fell down into the gorge. The trunk was something like redwood-thick and the branches were spiny. With a diameter so wide, Anna wondered if the tree had been here when the Ancients were… It looked much too wide for them to get over it, and there wasn't enough space under it for either Anna or Iskaan, though Jinto may have been able to squeeze through.

"What now?" Anna asked, looking up at the sky. It was well after lunch now, and she didn't really want to miss dinner. She was already a little hungry after the flat cake. "Do we go back?"

"We can go down and cross the river." Jinto pointed down a steep embankment ending in river rocks. Reeds played in the gentle water below. "We can cross at the shallows once we get to the valley."

Iskaan nodded his approval. "That seems like a good idea. Anna?"

Anna shrugged. "You two know the way. Not me."

Iskaan smiled and started down the embankment, turning back to help Anna down. Jinto just leaped like a deer, off roots and rocks, and straight into the water.

Anna reached for Iskaan's hand and took a step but there wasn't a step to take. Her foot twisted off a root and into the dirt and she went tumbling head first down the embankment.

Banging, crashing, and smashing her way down, she rolled over the river rocks before finally coming to a stop in the river.

Anna blinked once.

Just once.

* * *

 _Next time: Saw that coming. Saw that coming from a mile away._


	77. Twist

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek and Atlantis are looking for Sheppard and his team (since chapter 74). Anna is learning the perils of mountain climbing. Well. Mountain hiking._

* * *

 **Chapter 77. Twist.**

Everything seemed to hurt, and it wasn't just the freezing water rushing over her. Jinto and Iskaan hovered over her almost as soon as she opened her eyes. Someone was holding her hand, and touching her shoulder.

"Anna?" Jinto asked urgently. "Anna, can you hear me?"

Anna mumbled, but her lips seemed unwilling to form the words she wanted to. "Yeah…" she said finally, and struggled to sit up. Her hands were shaking and her head was aching. Her eyes were blurry… or maybe that was because she lost her glasses somewhere around here.

"Sorry, I—" Her whispered words scratched her throat. She had dirt in her teeth. She put a hand to her throbbing head and tried not to sob. "Sakra…" *

Iskaan breathed a sigh of relief. "I think you were unconscious for a couple of seconds. Can you get up? Can you walk? We should get you out of the water."

Anna tried to stand, but pain shot up her shin and into her knee, forcing a cry from her lungs.

"What hurts? What is it?" Iskaan asked.

"Um…" Anna brushed tears out of her eyes and tried to figure out where that new pain had come from. "My ankle. I don't… I think I can't walk." She caught in a few breaths, pleased to find that nothing seemed to be too badly wrong with her.

Except she had been unconscious. Her head pounded and felt hot.

"Here."

Iskaan carefully slipped his arm under her knees and around her back. When he stood, he jerked her leg around, driving another bolt up her leg. She couldn't help her whimper of pain as he carried her across the river to the opposite bank and set her on the ground against the side of the mountain.

"Iskaan, she's bleeding," Jinto said quietly. He pulled off his vest and folded a part of it before gently pressing it against her head.

"I know," Iskaan answered. He looked at Anna carefully. "I can carry you the rest of the way, but…"

Anna shook her head, startling Jinto and making herself dizzy. "No, um… wait, can we wait?" She closed her eyes and rested her head in her palm. What if she had a concussion? She had to get back to Atlantis. At least back to Doctor Adams. She knew that much.

She didn't know anything else. Nothing else except she couldn't really think.

Jinto carefully put the fabric back against her head.

"Jinto," Iskaan said a moment later. "You run back home. Get Doctor Adams, tell him what happened. They might be able to come get her or at least… I don't know. If we can, I'll take her further down the mountain. She might have broken her ankle."

Anna pushed her tears away at the mention of broken bones. She really hoped not. She'd never broken anything before.

Before she could ask whether Iskaan thought she'd broken anything or not, Jinto pointed to the orange rock that Iskaan had been carrying. It laid across the river among the smooth pebbles. It didn't seem to be broken or anything. "Should I take that with me?"

Iskaan glanced once at Anna, as though he was going to ask her if she really wanted the rock now. Anna supposed that, if he'd asked, she would have said no. She didn't get the chance, because Iskaan looked at Jinto and answered, "Yes. We won't be able to carry it with us."

She concentrated on the sound of Jinto running off through the river. He scrambled up the embankment and that was the last she heard of him.

"How long do you think he'll be?" she asked.

Iskaan shrugged. "It was going to take us maybe an hour and a half or two to get back. Jinto can do it pretty quick on his own, but he's tired and hungry. And then he has to lead Doctor Adams back here." Iskaan sighed and looked up at the sky. "It'll be a few hours at least, I think."

That sounded like forever.

She couldn't cry, though. That was stupid. She wasn't going to cry. Her ankle just hurt. And her head. When she opened her eyes, she realized that Jinto had left her his vest. She put it on her forehead and winced. Wondered how big the gash was.

"What happened?" she asked. "I mean… after I fell."

"I think you didn't miss a single rock on the way down. Enviable aim," Iskaan joked. Anna tried to smile for him, but she wasn't sure how successful she was. "You hit your head pretty hard on one of the river rocks, so… if you can, we should try to keep you awake. Just in case."

Anna voiced her agreement, but was careful not to move her head. Not since she was still feeling queasy.

When Iskaan crouched in front of her, she wanted to look away for some reason. He looked right into her eyes, looking between them quickly. "Your eyes are the same, so that's good."

"What?"

Iskaan pointed to his own eye, for some reason. "Last year, Wex fell off a balcony on Atlantis, and Doctor Beckett told us some things about hitting your head. If one of your eyes is bigger than the other, then that means your brain is bleeding… or something."

"Oh, uh… rozšířené zorničky," ** Anna said. She couldn't think of what that might be in English. _Big eyes_ made as much sense as anything.

Iskaan smiled. "I'm going to assume that's your language and not some gibberish." With that, he pulled her glasses from his pocket and handed them to her. "Jinto saw these fell off."

Anna put them on… but they didn't really help her see better. She thanked him anyway.

He moved to sit next to her. "I'm not like any of your Earth doctors, but I think you're okay."

Anna didn't know if she should feel better about his pronouncement, but she did. It was better than being far from home and terrified.

Iskaan reached into his vest and removed his panpipes. "Anything you'd like to hear? Something lively?" He slid the pipe along under his lips a few times. When Anna didn't answer him, he played what sounded like a jig with a strange melodic flair that gave it a longing feeling.

Anna stretched out her uninjured leg, sighed, and stared at the ground. Her ankle throbbed continuously. It wasn't in a very comfortable spot, but she sure wasn't moving it. That would just make it worse.

It didn't look like it was broken, did it?

Ankles were weird, though. There were so many bones in the foot, she could have broken something tiny… she'd never know.

Curse biology. She hated that stuff.

Maybe she was tired.

That thought made her heart speed up. She wasn't sure what she thought might happen if she fell asleep with a concussion. It probably wasn't anything very serious… but what if it was? She looked up across the river to the embankment. It looked really steep. Maybe ten, twenty feet. Lots of huge branches and rocks all the way down. She could swear she could still feel the imprint of one of those logs on her shoulders…

She kept herself busy thinking about Atlantis. She wondered what Radek was doing. He was probably back from his mission. That meant he was in his lab, all safe and sound. Probably had a cup of coffee. Probably swearing at the screen for not doing what he asked it very nicely to do.

He still tried not to swear around her. It was kind of funny.

"Hey." Iskaan moved his shoulder. Anna didn't realize she'd rested her head there and closed her eyes.

"Promiň. Jsem v pořádku," *** Anna whispered. She righted herself on the boulder and fixed her eyes across the river. "I'm not sleeping." Maybe, if she concentrated, she wouldn't fall asleep. "I didn't sleep, did I? How long has it been?"

It felt like two minutes. Maybe. But the forest was golden and the air felt cool. Anna didn't know if that was because it was later or if it had something to do with her. Maybe all her blood was rushing to her brain and her ankle. Trying to fix it. Her ankle was swollen pretty badly.

Iskaan shrugged. "Jinto must have reached home by now."

"It's been an hour?"

"A little more, maybe," Iskaan said.

Anna took a deep breath and looked around. She felt a little better. Still dizzy if she looked too fast, though. She tried to make some sort of conversation about the birds and the animals out there. She wondered if any of them were dangerous, and Iskaan told her, rather unhelpfully, that there were always dangerous animals in a forest. He also said he didn't think any of them were interested in them at the moment, either.

"What will happen when it gets to be night?" Anna asked.

"It won't. Jinto's probably on his way back with Doctor Adams right now," Iskaan answered. "But I can build a fire, and that will keep the most dangerous ones away, for the most part. The animals out here are just as wary of us."

Anna didn't know about that. She sighed, leaned forward, and rubbed her eyes.

"You think I can carry you, now?" Iskaan wondered. He turned toward her, looking at her ankle as if he were afraid it might explode or something. "If we get closer, the sooner you can get home."

"Yeah…" Anna whispered, but she wasn't sure she wanted to move her foot. He was right, though. A little bit of pain now was worth getting back to Atlantis sooner. Especially if she had a concussion. "Yes, that would be good."

Iskaan leaned over her, wrapping an arm around her back and hooking the other underneath her knees. Even the slight movement to her leg was like some kind of torture. He halted all motion when she whimpered, and looked at her critically.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please, don't mind me." Anna held her breath and willed her tears away. Falling off a mountain was embarrassing enough. Never mind crying at even the smallest twinge to her foot.

Iskaan hoisted her up off the ground, apparently being very careful to move her as little as possible, and then stepped into the river. "As long as we keep to the river bank, we'll get out of the mountain without any problems."

Anna looked down, slowly, to watch the water swirl beneath his feet. It really was a beautiful place. The world was all shades of gold and yellow, the sun reaching through the branches to glitter off the water like gems. Birds chirped with a wary indecision, perhaps warning their feathered brethren that there were intruders in their otherwise perfect woods.

Anna hooked her fingers over Iskaan's shoulder, resting her head on them. It seemed too heavy for her. Closed her eyes.

"How's life in the city of the ancestors?" Iskaan asked suddenly.

Anna took a deep breath and looked around with a start. Iskaan was right. She shouldn't sleep. Plus… well, Anna could only imagine how boring it might be to carry someone down a mountain and not at least engage in some sort of conversation.

"I don't think you ever told me what it's like for you to live there."

"You've lived there before, though," Anna mumbled. "You know what it's like."

"I know what it was like for me," Iskaan said. "It would be different for you. I'm an Athosian. Your city is mysterious and magical to me. Do you see it that way?"

Anna turned her eyes up a little, before realizing that was giving her a headache. "Um… no." She took a deep breath and tried to figure out how she saw it. "It is like a mystery to me, though. But not like magic. Like a puzzle. Or a maze. I don't know." She sighed. "I don't think I belong there."

Iskaan frowned as he stepped over a larger rock before stepping out of the river and onto a mossy knoll next to the water. "Why not?"

"I'm not like anyone there," she said quietly. "I'm not like Radek or Doctor McKay. They're too smart for me. I'm not like Teyla or Ronon or Colonel Sheppard. They're too brave and athletic. They know everything you'd want to know about hurting someone or getting away. I'm not like Elizabeth. I'm not like Doctor Beckett…"

"That's not bad, though. You're not supposed to be like them." Iskaan glanced at her. "But you are smart."

Anna got the feeling he was saying that just because she knew more things than he did. Sort of. She knew more things, but only certain things. She didn't know how she'd managed to take such a major misstep, though. She couldn't even walk.

She didn't know anything.

"No… you probably think this is pretty stupid, don't you?" Anna asked. She tried to smile, because it was a little funny. She was not even a baby in Athosian standards. She understood the electrical systems of the _Daedalus_ , but she'd almost killed herself on a hike.

"What?" Iskaan glanced at her, one eyebrow arched.

"You wouldn't have tripped and broken your ankle, would you?" Anna asked. She ran her hand down her leg toward her ankle, pulling the feeling off of it. The throbbing came back half a second later.

Iskaan considered that with a half-grin. "Probably not." The way he said that made Anna think he'd never tripped in his whole life. The way he kept his balance and walked so easily even with her in his arms made her believe it with her whole heart. "But that doesn't mean it's stupid. And it doesn't mean you are, either."

Anna wasn't convinced. It was stupid. Nothing Iskaan said would make it any less.

He chuckled and shook his head. He took notice when she squinted at him. "Anna…" He sighed. "You landed a ship of the Ancestors in the field this morning. I don't know if any of my people could do that, and I don't know that they'd even want to try. I'm not sure if I'd want to."

He had a bit of a point. Then again… "There's a big difference between flying a Puddle Jumper and walking. Most people can walk. I should be able to walk."

"You are what you practice," Iskaan said. "I practice walking and hunting. You practice flying ships and… well, whatever else it is that you do on Atlantis. Besides, you tripped once. That doesn't mean anything."

Anna stayed quiet for a couple of seconds until she realized he was looking at her. Closely. Her heart shuddered in her chest when she realized it, and she tried to calm herself down. Iskaan wasn't—not like _that_.

Maybe she was imagining things. She had a concussion.

He took a deep breath and focused back on the path he was taking down the mountain. It had become rather steep and harder for Anna to hide that the sway of his step hurt her ankle a lot.

"You are anything but stupid, okay?" he said.

Anna didn't know what to say to that, if anything. She leaned against him once again and waited to get used to the pain. Assuming that could happen. When it felt like it had been an eternity, though it was probably only a few minutes, she looked up at him.

"Hey, um, Iskaan?"

"Let me set you down here." He interrupted. "I need a minute or two to… um… not that you're exceedingly heavy." He smiled.

It might have been a funny joke in any other circumstance, but she was just about to start weeping again. It would have lost its effect. "Yes, please," Anna whispered, holding her breath while Iskaan set her down near the water's edge. It was so close that Anna could put her fingers into the mountain's icy stream. "I think we should just wait here, I think."

"Are you okay?" Iskaan asked.

"Yes, I'm just… I'm just dizzy." Anna busied herself taking her shoe and sock off to put her foot in the cooling water. A moment later, she discovered that Iskaan's hand was on her shoulder and he was looking right into her eyes.

Anna couldn't figure out if anything was there. Anything except that he was obviously making some sort of medical assessment with his hackneyed knowledge passed on from Doctor Beckett after a fall down the stairs.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Anna shrugged. "Yes. I'm not great. But not awful, either."

"Okay." He sighed and looked more concerned than Anna expected.

Made her a little more worried than she felt a few seconds ago… but she could barely think, so she wasn't too worried, either. Which did worry her? It was confusing. And all she wanted to do was sleep.

"At least your head stopped bleeding." To see the scrape tearing into her hairline on the side of her head, he carefully brushed his fingers along her jaw to turn her head. It was like static electricity, jumping between his skin and hers.

Or maybe it was just the concussion.

"Could be worse," Anna agreed quietly.

Iskaan chuckled, backing away. He took a seat across from her, so they could see each other. "Could it?"

Anna really walked into this one, didn't she? She couldn't think of anything to say but her initial thought. "At least you're here with me."

Iskaan looked surprised. Not upset, not pleased. Just surprised. Anna was surprised, too.

Anna didn't even get to explain that she meant she probably would have died up here had it been just her. The mountains were a big place, and search parties would probably not be able to find her in that gorge. Except life sign detectors existed, so they probably would have found her immediately.

"I see them! They're this way! Come on, hurry!" Jinto's voice echoed through the trees just in time for Anna to pull back and look at the ground instead of into Iskaan's eyes.

"They're here." Her voice wasn't cooperating.

"They are." Iskaan watched her for several seconds, then stood and shouted, "Over here!"

Anna smiled when she saw Griffin stomping up the gorge with a flashlight, Doctor Adams on his heels. Griffin looked like he was possibly having he time of his life. Doctor Adams… less so. Two Athosians followed, but Jinto sprinted through the woods to reach them first.

Jinto knelt beside Anna, put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Anna laughed a little at his concern, and nodded. Slightly. Her headache was making her dizzy. "Thanks for getting them so quickly."

She glanced up at Iskaan and realized that he was smiling a little at her.

Except she might have a concussion. Her head was bleeding. Not exactly the optimum atmosphere for a… kiss? Her first kiss? Was that seriously just about to happen?

Anna supposed now she'd never know.

She had a concussion. Better to not think about anything like that. Anything she didn't know. Anything that required any sort of reasoning whatsoever.

Doctor Adams unloaded his backpack next to her, asked a hundred questions about her ankle, and made several comments about how swollen it was. Anna felt like she didn't need a doctor to tell her all that, but he said he couldn't tell anything for sure until he got her back to Atlantis to run a few scans. He did say he didn't think it was broken, but she may have badly sprained it.

Then he asked her a hundred other questions about her head. He shined a penlight in her eyes and didn't seem too pleased with what he saw. "Alright. Better if you don't walk on your ankle, then. Let's get you back home." He pulled a strange-looking thing with bars and tarp from his backpack. "I have this, uh… this stretcher." He turned it around and upside down as he tried to figure out how to unfold it.

Finally, he did. Iskaan and Griffin both moved her carefully onto the stretcher. Anna laid back while Doctor Adams carefully set her ankle in a more comfortable position. Then he put a hard brace on it, and that hurt. That hurt way more than she expected.

Griffin sighed and looked down the gorge. "We're already going to be a few hours late. Better get going."

Anna found herself lifted up between Griffin and Iskaan, almost like she weighed nothing to them. She had nothing to do but watch quietly, gripping the sides of the stretcher while they started moving. Jinto stepped up beside her.

"Thank you," she said to Jinto.

He smiled and shrugged. "You're welcome." Jinto glanced up at Iskaan.

Iskaan took a few careful steps before catching his stride. He never tripped even once.

Anna wished that everyone would talk a bit more on the way back, so she might be able to tell if she lost consciousness. So she'd have something to think about. No one said much of anything, even Doctor Adams as he walked along beside her. Jinto zoomed off into the woods sometimes, only to return quickly. Maybe he was trying to keep the wild animals scared off.

The only one who said anything was Griffin, and that was only to tell her it looked like she wasn't flying back after all.

#

Dread. For just a second, a fraction of a second, that was the only thing. His feet were already taking him to the infirmary before rational thought reasserted itself. Carson already started to reassure him, anyway. Just in case Radek couldn't do that by himself.

"She's fine, like I said." Yes, Carson did say that. Led with that, actually. _Anna's fine, but…_ It was the "but" that got him. "Just a sprained ankle. A concussion." A catalogue of cuts and bruises followed Radek into the transporter.

" _What the hell was she doing, Carson?_ " Now that his worst fear had been calmed he was… angry? Weird.

"Radek," Carson scolded. "Uklidni se. She was just doing some rock climbing and took a bit of a tumble."

"Oh. A tumble. Nádhera _,_ " **** Radek snapped sarcastically. Like the setting on a clothes dryer, maybe she fell into a bunch of fluffy blankets. He sighed when Carson just chuckled. "You make it sound like a concussion and sprained ankle are normal."

"Aren't they?" Carson asked. "Here's a question: what were you doing when you were sixteen?"

Radek stepped out onto the infirmary level and slowed his frantic pace. To be honest, he barely remembered sixteen without significant effort. What was he doing? Mostly studying and working. Radek had to imagine his Czechoslovakian youth was much different from Carson's in Scotland. But… yes, there was occasional wall-climbing, fence-hopping, dodging irate school teachers, friends' fathers as much as his own. But that was mostly in attempts to keep his little brother out of trouble.

"I guess I was in more trouble than that," Radek answered, stepping into the infirmary.

"Já taky, kamaráde." *****

Radek looked around. Carson was on the far side of the room, looking at some x-ray film. He gave a nod of greeting, but didn't walk over. Radek scanned the room and saw Anna on a bed on the far wall, Doctor Keller standing beside her.

Anna didn't look fine. She had a couple of bruises—just that he could see—on her face and arms. Tiny bandages held together a cut on her forehead. Her foot was lifted up on a bunch of pillows and hugged on all sides by towels and ice packs.

She was smiling, though, talking to Doctor Keller about "liquid stitches." Radek was no medical doctor, but that seemed counter-productive.

"And then it will just come off in about eight days, or maybe ten." Doctor Keller shrugged, and smiled at Radek when she saw him coming. She glanced back at Anna to continue, "Just don't scratch at it." Then they both fell silent, quite suddenly, and looked at him.

"Hey." Radek tried to say it like he hadn't almost had a heart attack on the way here. "How's the head?" And the ankle. And the ribs. And the…

"Fine," Anna said with a sigh. "I just tried to step where the ground wasn't."

"Carson said you were rock-climbing."

"I was…" Anna agreed tentatively. "But not when I fell. It's kind of embarrassing."

Radek felt justified to smile a bit in apology. "Sorry you inherited my poor coordination." He watched her smile weakly. She was still in pain. Still embarrassed. But, like Carson said, she was fine. "Did you have fun?"

Doctor Keller told Anna to call her if she needed anything.

As soon as Doctor Keller left, Anna nodded her answer to Radek. "Yeah. It was fine." She didn't exactly sound enthusiastic. Of course, no matter how much fun she had during the day, it still ended in the infirmary. "Did you?"

Radek shrugged. "Uh. Not really. Colonel Sheppard's team went missing before lunch and we've been looking for them all day." If their track record held, they'd show up sometime in the middle of the night… Radek wasn't quite to the stage where he was worried yet.

Who was he kidding? He was always worried.

"How's my most adventurous patient today?" Carson asked, coming over with his plastic films.

"I just went hiking," Anna objected.

Carson chuckled. "Well, my other patients today have been… insomnia and headache. So unless something comes up in…" Carson paused to check his watch, "four hours, today, you are my most adventurous patient."

Anna smiled and shook her head at his reasoning.

"Want to see what a not-broken ankle looks like?" Carson asked, and came to stand between Radek and Anna. He held the sheet between them. In Radek's eyes, it looked remarkably like… a foot. "Quite nice ankles, actually." He said it like a joke, but Anna immediately frowned.

"Oh, thanks," Anna said sarcastically. "I made them myself."

Carson chuckled and shook his head. "Alright, alright. But you did sprain your ankle pretty badly. You've got a few mild tears in the ligaments here." He ran his finger up and down the picture of Anna's ankle. Radek didn't see anything that looked like a tear in anything, but… x-rays only showed bones, didn't they? "You'll have to be very gentle with it for several weeks. And, I'm afraid no jumping around in the gym for at least two months."

"Two months?" Anna sounded incredibly upset.

Radek didn't realize how much _jumping around in the gym_ she'd been doing. Enough to like it, apparently. Enough to like it a lot.

"At least," Carson repeated. "I have a brace for you, but there'll be no walking for a week or so, aye?"

Anna sighed and nodded. "Okay. That'll be no problem right now." She offered a bit of a smile.

"If it gives you trouble when you're trying to sleep or something, let me know and I'll give you something to ease the pain." He paused. "As for your concussion… I'd like to keep you overnight just to make certain you're alright. Your brain has endured quite a bit of knocking around. Are you tired?"

Anna nodded a little. "Yeah," she said quietly.

"Alright." Carson smiled and patted the pillow she leaned against. "Lie back and rest."

"Thanks, Doctor Beckett…" Anna leaned back on the pillow. She glanced at Radek and gave a smile. Shut her eyes.

"Hezké sny _,_ miláčku." ****** Radek followed Carson over to his computer and leaned on the desk while Carson made a few adjustments to a file he was working on.

"So it is only a mild concussion, though?" Radek asked quickly.

"She'll be back to normal in a few weeks," Carson said, not taking his eyes off the files. As if Anna wasn't so injured as to require his full attention. Radek couldn't decide if he wanted that full attention or not… then he realized that Carson was examining a picture of a brain. Probably Anna's. Then he sighed and nodded. "Yes, she'll be just fine, but it will take a while."

"Is it bad or not?" Radek prodded.

"What do you mean by 'bad'?" Carson chuckled a little. "She was complaining of dizziness and a headache… though I have to say that wouldn't be unusual for hitting your head even half as hard as she did." He glanced toward Anna with a bit of concern on his face that only made Radek feel worse. "She was also a bit sluggish with the memory and attention tests I gave her."

"Wait, what do you mean? She's damaged her brain?"

"No, no, no. Just banged up a bit. A bit of rest to give her time to heal should do it. The brain is a very… complex organ." Carson shook his head with a tone of worry. Or maybe that was awe.

"I know; that's why I don't study it."

Carson smiled. That was a little cheering, since Radek doubted he'd be so light-hearted if something was really wrong with Anna.

"Will she be okay?"

"Yes, of course." Carson leaned on his desk and stared at the computer. "I'm going to ask that you watch her closely for the next few days, or weeks, though."

"Weeks?"

Carson chuckled. "Why are you only hearing the worst parts of what I'm saying? Anna will be fine."

"Then why the watching for weeks?" Radek challenged.

Carson sighed. "Various health issues can arise from injury to the brain," Carson explained cautiously. "She'll certainly have headaches, and probably problems sleeping. There could be psychological side-effects—anxiety, depression—or a decline in cognitive ability."

"Wait, what?"

Carson was talking about insomnia and depression… and _decline in cognitive ability_ was where he interrupted…?

He simply couldn't imagine anything worse to happen. Anxiety? Fine, fact of life. Depression? Whatever, whatever. Personally, he could lose both his legs, he could suffer migraines every day for the rest of his life. He would be Rodney's next-door neighbor for eternity before he'd chose losing his ability to reason as an acceptable alternative.

"She'll return to normal in a few weeks," Carson rushed. "But you have to understand she'll get worse before she gets better, okay? Try not to be too worried. I'll check up on her every couple of days to make sure there's no reason for concern."

"No reason for concern…"

"She will make a full recovery." Carson waited, looking at him. Maybe he was supposed to say something? Maybe Carson was letting his last words sink in. "I'm keeping her under observation tonight to make certain the swelling is going down. I know it is, but it can't hurt anything. Try not to worry about her tonight, okay? I'll watch her personally if that would make you feel better."

It would, but it was hardly fair for Radek to ask Carson to pull an all-nighter for a concussion… even if it was his daughter he was talking about. "I… no. Of course, not. That's fine." He sighed and looked toward Anna. Propped up by pillows, cocooned by blankets, there was really no safer place Radek could think of. It looked like she was already asleep, in fact. He looked at Carson. "Can I stay with her?"

Carson smiled, but Radek couldn't decide if he was amused or pleased. "Of course."

Anxiety. Right, Anna was the one with a concussion and Radek felt like he'd just taken on all the side-effects in sympathy. Dizziness and nausea included. "Carson, what if—?"

Carson sighed heavily to cut off Radek's apparently obvious question. _What if_ Anna had damaged her brain permanently? It would be fine; they'd figure it out. But she was so bright. He wasn't sure who would feel more cheated if she never caught back that mental quickness. But _what if_?

"Here's the thing," Carson said, as if he was finally going to start telling the truth. "She'll be confused for the next few days. And then irritable and frustrated after that when she's not as quick as she used to be. I'll tell her not to rush her recovery, not to worry about not being able to keep up with Rodney's science homework, but she will get better. Okay? It'll just take time."

Just take time. Don't worry.

"Radek. She'll be fine."

Easy for him to say.

"Okay," Radek said finally. "Sorry, it's just been a long day."

Carson eyed him. "Not that I know anything about it," he said with a tinge of humor, "but you look like you could use a bit of shut-eye yourself."

That was probably true. He wasn't sure how well he was going to sleep in here with that in mind. He quickly put that out of his mind. He didn't know what, exactly, he thought he was going to do here by staying with Anna, but…

Ah, just stop trying to think. Radek sighed and shrugged. "You know what happens when Colonel Sheppard's team goes missing. The rest of us don't get any sleep, either."

"What do you suppose happened to them?" Carson asked.

Radek had a few guesses, but he didn't say them at first. They were all depressing. They all made him think that he might be in charge of the science team, and how much he actually didn't want that. "It looks like they were taken offworld against their will. I identified some planets for the teams to check, but I doubt any kidnapper would be stupid enough to go straight from one planet to their hideout planet. Unless, you know, they know somehow that we aren't able to track them down."

"We aren't?" Carson asked. He sounded so surprised.

"No," Radek answered. "The DHD doesn't store previously dialed addresses."

"Huh…" Carson considered that for a few seconds. Then he shrugged. "I didn't think it would. But I didn't think it wouldn't, either."

Radek chuckled. "Yeah, well, it doesn't. I'm not hopeful for any of them coming back with good news. No bad news. But no good news, either."

"They say 'no news is good news,'" Carson offered.

Radek stared at Carson, trying to figure out if he meant that seriously or not.

They shared a moment of laughter.

"Well, who the hell are 'they'?" Radek demanded.

Carson shrugged helplessly. "No one around here, I guess."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

All the Czech this chapter; and all the thanks to the wonderful zcvoknout, who put up with about a thousand and one of my silly language questions.

* Damn.

** Dilated pupils

*** Sorry. I'm alright.

**** Calm down. / A phrase to express recognition or praise (like "great" or something?), but can be used effectively in sarcasm, too.

***** Me, too, my friend.

****** Sweet dreams, darling.

* * *

 _A/N: Pretty sure this is my favorite chapter... So thank you for reading. I hope you like this one as much as I do._

* * *

 _Next time: Ow. Don't do that again, okay?_


	78. Would it Kill You?

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna gave herself a concussion and a twisted ankle while mountain climbing. Radek is already stressed about Sheppard's missing team (since Chapter 74), so thanks for nothing, Anna. But now Radek might finally find the time to spend some bonding time with the team (since he was invited in chapter 70)._

 _NOTICE important Author's Note at the bottom!_

* * *

 **Chapter 78. Would it Kill You?**

" _Can I help you?_ "

Anna gave him a glare, which was incongruously cheering.

He'd been worried sick about her for the first two days, even though Carson told him not to. Just like Carson predicted, she was confused and glum. The tiniest things set her off. Late on the third day, she started crying because she couldn't concentrate on the book she was reading. Radek didn't know what to do, and ended up making tea because, well, it couldn't hurt anything. By the time the kettle whistled, she'd fallen asleep on the couch.

Carson said that the damage wasn't permanent. It was a one-in-a-thousand chance she'd been hurt more seriously. It was ridiculous to lose sleep over those kinds of numbers. They'd risked the city and the lives on it for worse odds than that.

But he did lose sleep over it. Somehow. He didn't sleep at all, wondering what he would do if Anna didn't get better.

Anna must have been blissfully unaware, because, unlike Radek, she slept a lot. She slept for what felt like days, waking up only for a few hours at a time. Carson did his best to assure Radek that sleep was the best method of treatment for almost any ailment. _The body is good at putting itself back together_ , he'd said. _Just give her a chance to do that_. So Radek waited and worried.

It was the theme of the week and he was getting tired of it. Sheppard's team had been missing for eight days. Eight long days of wondering what happened to them. On the second day they were missing, Radek expected some sort of ransom demand to come through from the Genii or something. On the fourth day, he thought for sure they'd march through the 'gate, apologizing because they forgot to call. Day six, he was sure they were dead.

Now he was just hoping someone would find their bodies eventually.

Anna, on the other hand, seemed to be fairly normal by her sixth day of solid twelve-hour night's sleep.

Radek sighed. " _Are you sure?_ "

" _I sprained my ankle; I didn't lose a leg_ ," Anna snapped.

She hopped from her room to the couch and sat down. She had to be getting tired of the same old routine, too. Sometimes it seemed like her life consisted of hobbling to the couch and napping. After spending her day mostly asleep, waking only for a few hours to limp to the kitchen and the bathroom, she would get up, hobble back to bed, and sleep some more.

Repeat.

" _Any news on Colonel Sheppard's team?_ " Anna asked.

Repeat on that, too.

He heaved a sigh and shook his head. " _I don't know… I don't want to think they aren't coming back but it's been a long time._ " He'd started to berate himself for his stupidity because Rodney wasn't here to do it. It was getting pathetic.

" _Elizabeth hasn't declared them presumed dead or missing in action, has she?_ " Anna asked.

That was another matter entirely. " _No… she won't_."

Anna frowned.

He also really didn't want to talk about this. " _Is your ankle any better? You said last night it was hurting…_ "

No answer was forthcoming. From either of them. He sat on the other side of the couch and waited for her to say something. Her ankle had been healing. She'd been good about icing it, keeping it elevated, and she put no pressure on it.

He knew that it probably wasn't supposed to hurt.

He used to think he'd enjoy his job much more without Rodney to insult him on a daily basis.

How did he somehow skip from thinking about Anna's ankle to McKay? He watched her pull her tablet up on her leg and flip through a science scenario. He'd given her this one. Everything was different now. Rodney wasn't here to come up with the scenarios. Collins wasn't here to grade them. Radek wrote the scenario in Czech.

Everything was different, and it wasn't supposed to hurt like this.

" _I don't know why it hurts_ ," Anna said finally, quietly. " _I've done everything Doctor Beckett told me to. I barely step on it at all. I'm very careful._ "

Radek nodded. " _Maybe we should take you to Doctor Beckett. At least, he can give you something for it._ "

" _It's so far away…_ " Anna looked at him a bit hopefully. " _But I am getting a little stir-crazy_."

Radek could imagine. He went to the lab for a few hours a day, but for the most part he was here. He was always on call anyway, and it didn't make too much of a difference whether he worked here or in his lab. He told himself he was here for Anna. And he was. She couldn't go get her meals, and she was alone and lonely.

The lab was strangely lonely, too, though.

When the door announced someone was requesting entrance, Anna and Radek looked at one another in total confusion. This sort of thing simply… didn't happen. After Anna giggled at their reaction to a visitor, Radek smiled and rose to answer the door.

Major Lorne was there. They'd spent the last six days hopping from planet to planet looking for Colonel Sheppard and his team, and they hadn't even scratched the top off the list they'd compiled. It was such mundane work, and Radek was needed to sort out the rest of the data from the DHD, that he didn't go with them.

The major was carrying a bunch of flowers with him that looked like daisies, though. That was weird.

"Hey, Doc. Came to see how Anna's doing. With the ankle and everything." Lorne waved over Radek's shoulder toward the couch.

"Oh…" Radek had no idea that Lorne knew he had a daughter. "Come in, please."

Alright, everyone knew he had a daughter. But precious few acknowledged it. It was the kind of thing everyone mostly tried to ignore. Lorne, included. Except just now.

Lorne nodded in thanks and walked into the room. "We miss seeing you at the firing range," Lorne said, stopping beside the couch. "Doctor Weir told me that even numbers of flowers are for funerals. I didn't know that… but I have an explanation."

"Yeah?" Anna looked amused. That was good, if she was amused, then she wasn't likely to concentrate on the pain.

"This one is from me." Major Lorne picked a daisy from his bouquet and handed it to her.

"This one?" Anna clarified playfully. "Not that one?" She pointed at a different bloom. They all looked virtually identical.

"Yeah, that one. This one, though," Lorne picked out the flower Anna had indicated. He turned it in his fingers as though trying to remember the giver of this daisy. "This one is from Chuck. This one is from Reed and Coughlin. From Doctor Weir." He handed her twelve flowers that way. At a certain point, Radek was sure he was just making up who might have added to the bouquet, though the first four or five flowers seemed legitimate.

Anna looked at the bunch of flowers on her lap and smiled. "Well, thank you."

"Get well soon," Major Lorne said.

"Would you like some tea?" Radek asked. It occurred to him that the major wasn't a tea-drinking sort of person. Coffee, yes. "Coffee. Or, um…" He looked around, thinking it was a little early in the morning for alcohol. Although, it was supposed to be Major Lorne's day off. "I also have Fat Tire."

"Oh," Major Lorne sighed and shook his head enviously. "Colorado craft beers, huh? Get them to bring you some on the _Daedalus_ runs?"

Radek shrugged. "Friends in high places." Friends in high places who lived in Fort Collins, Colorado, so it was even more convenient. And a hilarious pun, if he wanted to talk about altitude, even leaving the _Daedalus_ in orbit. "Also, easier to get than Czech beer."

Lorne laughed and said, "Sure. I'd love some."

"Anna? You want tea?" Radek asked as he went to get the beer. She said no. She was quiet, looking at her daisies one at a time. Radek felt momentarily guilty he was putting off taking her to the infirmary. But what were they supposed to do? Take Lorne's daisies and shuffle him on his way?

"How long does Doctor Beckett say you gotta be off the foot?" Lorne asked. He went to sit in the single chair by the window, directly across from Anna so she could talk to him easily.

Anna shrugged. "He said not to walk on it for as long as I can, since I tore some ligaments. That usually takes six to eight weeks to heal completely."

"Six to eight weeks, damn." Lorne sighed and took the beer Radek handed him. He nodded in thanks, but turned his attention back on Anna immediately. "That sucks. What are you doing in the meantime?"

"Nothing." Anna sighed. "Not a lot to do."

"You into any art? Drawing or painting?" Lorne asked.

Anna shook her head. "Just homework. Sort of."

Lorne shrugged and leaned back in the chair.

"I'm afraid I'm not as good at writing science scenarios as Rodney is," Radek offered.

"No, it's not that, it's just…" Anna cut herself off and sighed. "I don't know. You don't really think they're dead, do you, Major Lorne?"

There it was. The fog in the room was given a name. Radek couldn't put any words to it, and he didn't know if Major Lorne could, either. There weren't words for this weight. The weight that their friends might be dead. At the very least missing—maybe forever. There were a lot of planets out there. People on Earth thought it was difficult to find bodies there, and they had only the one planet to go through.

The weight that he and Lorne might have to step up into shoes they hadn't bargained for and didn't want. Especially if they got them this way.

"I hope they aren't," Major Lorne said.

"Me, too, but…" Anna looked at Radek and then back at the major. "Shouldn't they have come back? If they were alive, I mean."

"Well," Major Lorne offered hopefully, "there are a hundred things that could be keeping them from getting back here. Their being dead is only one of those things."

That was a nice, optimistic way to frame it.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Lorne added, taking a drink. "But I even miss McKay a little."

Radek chuckled, but didn't voice his agreement. Had to be very careful about that kind of thing. Rodney somehow had the uncanny ability to hear compliments by the most unlikely people even on other planets. And he already thought everyone secretly admired him, anyway. Hated him, probably. But secretly admired.

Major Lorne tried to divert the conversation, then. He talked to Anna about painting a little, and offered that she could borrow any of the books he brought with him if she got extremely bored. He warned her that he mostly read military sci-fi and war history, so it wasn't exactly what most people would consider captivating. Anna seemed oddly interested in both of them.

Radek contributed a slightly-related sentence on a science-fiction novel he'd borrowed from Elizabeth, but it had been so long since he'd read a novel, he had no idea what he was looking at. He'd never read a novel in English, either. He barely read novels, period, much less in English.

They were kind enough to treat it like it was connected.

After Major Lorne promised he would bring Anna one of his books, he thanked Radek for the beer and took his leave. Radek didn't quite know what to make of it. He knew that Major Lorne was probably just trying to be nice. Or perhaps this was a sideways attempt to remind him that he was still invited to the poker game tomorrow.

It was Tuesday, after all.

#

As soon as Lorne left, Anna breathed a sigh of relief. Not that she didn't like him or anything. She was actually getting used to him, since he seemed to be around. It seemed like he said hello to her whenever he saw her, and he saw her a lot. She wasn't exactly comfortable around him. Maybe because he always seemed sort-of on edge.

Maybe it was because Radek was on his team, and Anna never met two people more different in every way.

" _Could you help me get to the infirmary, maybe?_ " Anna asked after a few seconds of silence.

Radek stood immediately. " _Oh. Yes. I'm so sorry. I don't know what—_ "

" _It's okay. I just want to make sure nothing is wrong. And that I'll be able to walk again eventually._ "

" _Oh, you will. Torn ligaments just take a very long time to heal, like Carson said._ " Radek stood next to the couch and offered her a hand up. She managed to stand next to him, then he looked at her in confusion. " _How…?_ "

He didn't finish, maybe because he decided Anna had no idea how she wanted to do this. She'd been brought here from the infirmary in a wheelchair. That was very convenient. But Doctor Keller took it back to the infirmary with her because no one anticipated any problems in Anna's recovery.

Anna finally negotiated the couch and slipped her hand into Radek's, leaning heavily on his arm. He put a strong grip on her hand that somehow made her feel better, even though she knew this trip was going to hurt no matter what she did.

" _I'm ready_ ," she said quietly.

She hobbled toward the door, leaning on Radek when she had to put weight on her sprained ankle. They made it out to the hallway, but it seemed to take forever. And this hallway from their quarters to the transporter had never looked so long.

" _Are you okay?_ " he asked when Anna stopped to get her breath outside the door. " _You know, I can go get you a wheelchair, probably._ "

Anna started walking again. She made it this far, so… " _No, thanks._ "

He just nodded and they kept walking.

The agony of every step was surprising. Not as bad as the day she actually sprained her ankle, actually. Not as bad as that at all. Her ankle had been getting better every day. If she'd tried this three days ago, even with Radek's help, she would have melted into a puddle of painful tears. She knew that ligaments took a very long time to heal, but this seemed like an unusually long time.

She didn't want to make the whole trip to the infirmary for nothing, though.

" _I wonder why the major visited,_ " Anna said.

Radek shrugged. " _I wonder if it has to do with that I haven't done anything… social with the team._ " He scowled as he spoke. " _I hope not_."

Anna smiled between steps. " _Would it kill you to… um, you know, spend time with the team?_ "

Anna knew from copious amounts of time in the mess hall that Colonel Sheppard's team ate together at least once a week and watched movies in Sheppard's quarters. Major Rutherford's team all enjoyed automobile repair, but there were no cars on Atlantis. They made up for it by building a MALP together from spare parts in one of the lower levels of the central tower.

" _Well, no, it obviously wouldn't kill me,_ " Radek answered with a chuckle.

" _I think all the teams do things together._ " She wanted to say they all seemed like friends. And she knew that Radek had friends in his lab. They played chess together, stumped each other with logic puzzles, and told the kind of jokes that only a physicist would understand.

But even McKay spent off-time with Ronon sometimes.

" _I will go. I just haven't had time recently. The team plays poker on Wednesday nights. Well, the team and 'a few others' as the major said. But these past two Wednesdays have been very busy…_ "

They finally stepped into the transporter and Radek hit the dot to take them to the infirmary.

" _I want to go. And I will, as soon as life allows me._ "

Anna had the feeling that life might never allow him. " _But, you know, Major Lorne is looking at becoming the interim military commander of Atlantis with Sheppard missing so long. And you might be interim head of the entire science team._ "

" _That's true…_ " he agreed hesitantly. " _But what does that have to do with playing poker?_ "

If he didn't know, then maybe he wouldn't get it. " _It's good if you can work together well. That's all_." She'd never met two people so different. Never met two people so alike.

Radek seemed to consider that. They reached the infirmary eventually, apparently not long enough for him to offer an alternative to working well with Major Lorne.

Doctor Beckett looked just as tired and stressed as everyone else, but he was in good spirits nonetheless. Anna wished she could so often be in a good mood like he was. He did look concerned when he saw them approaching.

"Oh, dear, is it still that bad?" He shook his head in disappointment. "I thought for certain it would be at least a little better by now."

"It has gotten better…" Anna said as Radek helped her cross the floor and hop up onto the nearest gurney. "Just not much at all. Maybe not even a little."

"I can vouch for good behavior," Radek said. "She hasn't put any weight on it. Doesn't even move all day."

Doctor Beckett frowned, put his stethoscope around his neck and walked over. He patted the bed. "Put it up here and I'll take a look at it." Anna obeyed, and tried not to whimper when he started manipulating the joint and carefully pressed on the skin, still discolored from the bruise. "How's that feel?" he asked after a moment.

"Uh…" Anna regretted opening her mouth as she gasped to shove the pain away. "Not good."

"Sorry." Doctor Beckett sighed and rotated her ankle in the tiniest of circles. "That?"

"That's not bad," she said, feeling a little relieved that at least some movement didn't hurt so much.

"One second." Doctor Beckett carefully put Anna's ankle back on the gurney and tapped the radio in his ear. "Alright, what sort of emergency?"

Anna and Radek looked at each other. Emergency?

Despite the apparent emergency, Doctor Beckett smiled and glanced at Radek for half a second. "He is?"

Then he frowned. Anna had never seen anyone go so pale so fast. "He did? How much?" He paused, shook his head, and said, "Alright, alright, yeah. I understand. We'll be ready." Doctor Beckett drummed his fingers the gurney, like he was celebrating something. He glanced at Anna for a moment before looking at Radek. "That was Elizabeth. Rodney just came through the 'gate."

"What?" Radek half-laughed, half-shouted. "Where has he been?"

"Somewhere he's taken, and I quote, 'a lot' of Wraith enzyme. They're bringing him here. Excuse me." Doctor Beckett hurried away and started shouting instructions to the other doctors in the infirmary. Instructions including four-point restraints.

Anna felt only slightly neglected. She couldn't help her grin as she glanced at Radek. He looked just as pleased as she felt, maybe even more. Her ankle didn't hurt so much anymore.

Doctor McKay was back.

* * *

 _Next time: We're the basically the ones who save the day when they can't. Now, does that make us not as good, or does that make us better?_

* * *

 _A/N: Sorry about the late post. I had a lot to do and stuff and... well, o_ _n that note, I do have to say something. I am sorry, but school is kicking my butt right now. I have to take a break from this and focus on other things. I'm also headed to Australia for two weeks over the new year as part of my studies and I need to prepare for that, too. In short... don't expect any updates until next year. Sorry about this, but I need to prioritize._

 _I'll be back in January regardless._


	79. B-Team

_Thank you to everyone for being patient! I'm now back at home and ready to get back at the fanfictioning like never before!  
Ah, okay, maybe exactly before, actually...  
But here's the thing: I'm in my last semester of university, and I'm quite sure it's going to be difficult. So apologies in advance should I be late or miss one or two. And expect another short hiatus around May. Because I'll be moving. And hopefully have a new job._

 _Anyway. Anybody remember where we were...?_ _Because I don't...  
_ _It's okay, it's just a bit of catch-up reading... #universitylife_

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech_."  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna's being a good girl and not putting any weight on that ankle of hers (since chapter 77). Even though Sheppard's team is missing (since chapter 74), things are looking up because Rodney just came through the 'gate (last chapter). High on Wraith enzyme. But at least he's not missing anymore. But Radek might actually the time to spend some bonding time with the team (since he was invited in chapter 70) while waiting for Rodney to construct a cogent sentence._

* * *

 **Chapter 79. B-Team.**

Doctor McKay wasn't offering any useful information any time soon.

Anna had never seen anyone hysterical under the influence of drugs or alcohol before, but Doctor McKay's attitude and behavior was… scary. She couldn't think of a better way to describe it. It was just terrifying when someone wasn't themselves. Doctor Adams gave Anna an assortment of pain pills and sent her back home. Anna had never been so happy to leave.

" _Do you think he'll get better?_ " Anna asked. Because, according to Doctor Beckett, the odds that Doctor McKay would die were still very real. And if Doctor McKay died, then that meant their chances of getting the rest of his team back just put them right back where they started.

Not to mention that would be awful.

" _Carson is the best doctor in two galaxies. If anyone can help Rodney, he can._ " Radek paused by the couch and looked at her in concern. " _Are you sure you're alright if I leave?_ "

Anna nodded for what felt like the fiftieth time. " _Yes, of course, go. I'm sure you will have a good time. Don't you like games?_ "

" _Poker is just not one of my favored approaches to social activity_ ," Radek said.

Anna giggled. " _Okay, well, I didn't know you had a favored approach._ "

Before Radek could rattle off a list of ways he'd rather spend his time with someone, the door buzzed again. Radek turned toward the door like it had said something obscene. " _Good lord, we go for months without a single visitor and suddenly…?_ " He opened the door.

Anna couldn't see who was there from her location on the couch.

"Um. Can I help you?"

"Does Anna live here?"

Anna's heart skipped a beat. Iskaan? What was he doing here? How did he get here? How did he know where she lived? Probably asked Elizabeth…

"Oh, yes, she does." Radek took a step and asked, "Who are you?"

"I apologize, my name is Iskaan…" he said quickly.

"Hi, Iskaan." Anna pulled herself up to sit on the couch instead of lying across it like she had been. "He's one of the Athosians I've been spending time with on the mainland," she offered to Radek, not mentioning that he was essentially _the_ Athosian that she'd been spending time with. The other was an annoying twelve-year-old.

"Oh." Radek took a careful look up and down the visitor. It was almost amusing, except… she wasn't sure how she felt about Radek examining any male visitors she might ever have. "Doctor Zelenka," he offered, with a handshake.

Iskaan seemed baffled, but accepted his hand anyway.

Anna was glad, since the Athosian way of greeting was decidedly more intimate. Radek was having trouble going to play a poker game. Forget touching foreheads.

"Nice to meet you, Doctor Zelenka," Iskaan said.

"Hm." Radek didn't offer a similar sentiment for several seconds. Didn't exactly give Anna hope for her future. This wasn't even a romantic relationship. Probably.

She sighed.

"Yes, you, too," Radek said finally. He followed Iskaan to the couch.

Iskaan looked around the space like he was unsure about what to do and finally sat down on the floor within arm's reach of Anna. "How is your ankle?" Iskaan asked stiffly.

"It's fine," Anna said. "I still can't really walk on it, but I have been practicing writing the alphabet with my toes." At the strange look Iskaan gave her, she laughed. "Just an exercise to help me get mobility back." She started turning her ankle about to write the letter _a_. Then the letter _b_. "I don't have much yet, so… they probably wouldn't look like letters if I were writing with my toes."

"Most Athosians don't know how to write at all…" Iskaan said.

Radek sighed at that proclamation, and Anna glared up over the back of the couch at him. He pretended he had done no such thing, and held up the empty tea kettle. "Would you like tea?"

"Um… no, thank you," Iskaan said. He watched Radek carefully, maybe like he was a wild animal whose behavior he didn't know how to predict. "But that's very generous."

"You don't have to hang around here, Radek," Anna offered.

"But—"

"What about the poker game?" Anna reminded. She pulled herself up to look over the back of the couch at him to communicate more clearly that he really didn't need to be here. "You said you should go."

"I did say that, but I also said I didn't want to," Radek muttered.

"Prosím?" Anna didn't know if begging would help, but it was worth a try.

Radek gestured weakly in Iskaan's direction, asking, " _While he's here?_ " *

Finally, when his eyes met hers, he sighed again and shook his head. " _Alright, alright, I'll go._ " He picked up his radio off the counter and hooked it over his ear. " _I'll have my radio. If you need anything at all, please call._ "

" _I will_ ," Anna agreed.

" _I'm serious. Please. Call._ "

Anna giggled. " _If you don't come back in two hours, I will send a rescue mission._ "

" _Two hours…_ " Radek mumbled before he left the room. He paused at the door and caught Iskaan in what Anna could only properly describe as a glare. "It was good seeing you again."

"You, too," Iskaan answered quietly.

Radek left.

Anna sighed and looked at Iskaan.

Iskaan looked back. "So what's this alphabet you're writing?"

Anna sighed and started over. _A, b, c_... "Symbols that I make the shape of with my foot." She sighed. "Thirty-five of them…" As if being painful wasn't enough, it was also dreadfully boring.

"Symbols." Iskaan pondered that for a few seconds and then smiled at her. "Like on the Stargate."

That was as good an idea as any. Far more interesting to draw the 'gate symbols with her foot than the regular old alphabet. But she only knew one off the top of her head: Atlantis's point of origin symbol. "Do you know the all the 'gate symbols?"

"All of them… no. I know many of them. Every 'gate—"

"I know every 'gate has one symbol that's unique to that 'gate," Anna interrupted. "I mean any of the other symbols."

As soon as Iskaan nodded, Anna handed him her tablet open to a blank canvas.

"Can you draw them so I can make the shapes?"

Iskaan smiled and drew his finger over the tablet, like he was drawing in the sand. He held up the tablet for Anna to see three shapes, one right after another, that looked half part of an hourglass, part of a square, and two sides of a triangle.

"This is Acjesis," Iskaan said. "In the bulrushes."

"What?" Anna paused her drawing to arch an eyebrow at Iskaan.

He laughed. "Do your people not tell stories about the pictures in the stars?"

"I guess we do…" Anna said finally. "Or, we used to. I know there is a constellation called Kozoroh. There's a story for it, I think, but I don't know what it is. It's a, um… goat." Anna never quite knew how she felt about her astrological symbol being a goat. Not that she really cared or bought into it at all, but there was that one phase in her school days when everyone was crooning over their horoscopes and looking for love under all the wrong stars.

It held even less meaning now, in another galaxy, than it did on Earth.

Iskaan went back to his tablet, swiping away the symbols for Acjesis and tracing out another, rather complicated one. This one had five discrete groups. Anna started swiveling her ankle around while Iskaan said, "Lenchan, the forest."

"You're going to have to tell me these stories someday."

"I should tell you about this one." Iskaan started drawing again while Anna finished the forest. It was such a long symbol, Anna didn't wonder why they did call it a whole forest. "This is Elenami, the 'gate traveler." His tablet now had a pentagon on it, with some lines shooting off, and a short line near it.

"The 'gate traveler?" Anna stared for a long time at the lines Iskaan drew on the tablet. "Is he supposed to be that little stick right there?"

Iskaan looked at the lines and the dots. "She is. Yes. And this is the 'gate. It's opening, see?" He pointed to the other lines and dots to next to the supposed-traveler.

"Where's her head?" Anna wondered. "And her arms?"

Iskaan turned the tablet around to look at it. "You don't know anything about constellations, do you?"

Anna giggled. "Okay, okay. I'll take your word for it."

Iskaan laughed, too. "Good." He drew another symbol and proclaimed it was _Alura and her lover_.

"Were you going to tell me about Elenami or weren't you?" She started drawing Alura, anyway. She wasn't sure which one of the stick drawings was supposed to be Alura and which was supposed to be her lover.

"Yes," Iskaan said quietly as he drew another. "Patience. This is Ca Po, the Wraith eater."

Anna held up her hand. "Stop it right there. How is that a Wraith eater?"

Iskaan sighed and started pointing to the various parts of his drawing, identifying the Wraith, the Wraith's victim, and Ca Po. Anna still didn't see it and she told him as soon as he took a breath so she could get her words in.

But she didn't have to tell him she was glad he was here. Even though she would have been just fine, even happy, alone at home tonight… this was definitely better.

#

"Oh, look who decided to show up." Reed stepped back and to the side to allow Radek entrance to Lorne's quarters. A card table was set up in the center, and decidedly too small for all the people sitting around it. Lorne, Reed, Coughlin, with Chuck the 'gate technician and Doctor Keller for good measure, apparently.

"Give him a break," Lorne said, waving Radek over to the table. "He's been busy taking care of Anna for a week or something when he wasn't untangling a mess of 'gate symbols though fifty sheets of paper."

If anyone was confused by that statement, no one said anything.

"How is Anna?" Chuck asked as Radek took the seat Lorne slid in his direction.

Radek ended up taking the barely-empty spot at the table between Chuck and Lorne, directly across from Doctor Keller. It was a strange group. "She seems to be none the worse for her concussion. She still can't walk on her ankle," Radek said. "But she's definitely improved."

"Glad to hear it," Chuck said.

"Ligaments take forever." Doctor Keller shook her head sadly before asking, "Ever play Texas hold 'em?" She took the deck of cards that Reed gave her and shuffled.

 _Thank you, Collins…_ Radek nodded. "Yes, I'm quite familiar."

"Good. How about you weird Canadians?" Doctor Keller looked at Chuck playfully.

Chuck returned her good-natured glare and assured her, "Yes, the weird Canadians do know how to play." He hesitated and grinned. "The weird Canadian is also going to kick all your American asses." And then he looked at Radek like he didn't know what to do about him.

"How very un-Canadian of you…" Reed commented with a smile.

Radek checked his cards and watched the table.

"Any news about McKay?" Coughlin asked while play passed.

"Besides 'we need to stop the ship from getting to where the ship is going'?" Lorne chuckled. Then he became serious. "It's a Wraith ship, by the way."

"And I heard Ford was there," Reed said.

Radek arched an eyebrow toward Reed. "This isn't another of your wild stories?"

Reed spread his hands and grinned. "Just telling you what I heard."

"Ford?" Doctor Keller asked.

It occurred to Radek that Lorne hadn't exactly met Ford, either. Even if he met Ford offword, it was probably not the one that everyone on Atlantis had come to appreciate. Reed gave a short explanation for them, from the beginning when Ford proved himself as a valuable member of Sheppard's team and a likeable kid on top of that, right up until the end. He should have died that day. If not one way, then another. Everyone stayed quiet and didn't say anything about the game while Reed finished his story.

Ford was the only person on the expedition Radek told about Anna directly before he received word of Eliška's death. Not because he knew him well or because he was pleasant or trustworthy. No… it was simply because Ford was nobody to Radek. He liked him well enough, sure. Didn't dislike him. But he was no one of consequence. He imagined the military members of the expedition felt about Ford's near- and assumed- death the same way Radek felt about Collins' death.

Exactly as Radek had gambled, he was nobody to Ford, too. Anna remained a secret between Radek, Ford, and the camcorder.

"That's awful," Doctor Keller said softly.

Reed nodded. "Yeah. I gotta admit, I miss that kid."

Lorne shook his head in partial disbelief. "Every day, every month that goes by just goes to show how unstable things are around here." He looked around the table briefly, then explained, "I was brought in either to fill Ford's place or the place of whoever replaced Ford. Whatever happens, good or bad… I'm next."

He didn't sound pleased. He sounded resigned. Radek knew the feeling.

"Weird how aware of the hierarchy you are," Chuck joked, and the game resumed. "Not gunning for team one, are you?"

Lorne chuckled darkly and shook his head. "Hell, no. Trust me, when you're this close to the top, that hierarchy does nothing but scare the hell out of you." Lorne glanced at Radek. "Right, Doc?"

Radek nodded knowingly.

"Becoming chief medical is one of my worst nightmares," Doctor Keller offered.

"Yet, look how close you are," Lorne said.

Radek glanced at Doctor Keller. Everyone seemed to know something he didn't: that Doctor Keller was a first-rate doctor despite her youth. He never would have pinned the title of chief surgeon on her, this blushing and diminutive girl. He knew it wasn't fair, but they were shoes that she hadn't seemed to grow into.

She shook her head. "I'm not exactly close."

"You're not the accomplished geneticist Doctor Beckett is, but you're made plenty of advancements in… uh…" Chuck hesitated and looked at her sideways. "I forget—what field did you study specifically?"

"Epidemiology," she said.

"What the hell…?" Coughlin mumbled.

Radek respected her more already. He didn't know much about it, but epidemiology was a branch of social and biological science that he could almost appreciate. Almost. She wasn't just a doctor, she was an engineer, seeing patterns and reasons where other people might only see chaos. Her science was still imperfect, still only brushing the surface of what science was, but it could have been closer than the guess-work so many social and biological sciences were forced to attend.

People were impossible to study. That was just the long and short of it. The reason he was in physics and not… well… anything else. People didn't have anything to do with the placement of atoms in the universe.

"The study of epidemics," Doctor Keller explained. "Basically… it's studying where diseases originate and where they move based on environmental factors. And then, treatment and prevention of those diseases. I'm only interested in communicable diseases, though, so nothing like obesity or allergies or something."

"Sounds like… fun." Coughlin's lack of sincerity was amusing.

"And why did that bring you here?" Lorne asked.

Doctor Keller shrugged and thought about that for a while. Radek got the impression that she wasn't saying plenty of things that came to mind in the short time that she didn't answer before she finally settled on, "I always wanted to practice, you know, make a difference? I felt cornered on Earth, doing lab research and other things that I didn't want to do." She paused and smiled. "Besides, epidemiology has the chance to get pretty interesting once you get the Stargates involved."

"Especially since the control crystals don't keep track of what planets have been dialed," Lorne muttered. "What's with that? You'd think they'd have some sort of system to record that." Lorne looked at Radek accusingly, as if he personally had decided to cut that functionality out of the DHD.

Radek held a hand up in innocence. "I swear, the next time I design a DHD, I will include that capability."

"You'd better." Lorne chuckled and went back to watching the cards on the table.

Coughlin ended up winning the hand, and they continued for a few more rounds.

Radek was surprised with how comfortable he felt in this company. Major Lorne was like Colonel Sheppard, a well-liked and capable military commander. Radek knew from previous work that Chuck was a gifted engineer, probably more suited to designing things like Stargates than simply operating them. Of course, no technician _only_ operated the Stargate, but Radek didn't know what he did exactly. He crossed paths with select few engineers on Atlantis.

Doctor Keller remained mostly quiet as the evening went on, the only doctor and the youngest and a woman… Even though she couldn't have felt very comfortable, Radek knew that he felt much like the rest of them must have: she belonged there. Like Lorne and Radek. They were all second-bests in their fields.

In a place like Atlantis, that made them forgotten.

Chuck excused himself and Coughlin changed the game to some other variety of poker.

Anna never called.

But Radek didn't mind.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Please?

* * *

 _ **Thank Yous & Etc.**_

 _Linda: Thank you! It was a great opportunity, and I'm happy to have gone. It's going to take a while to get back into the swing of writing this, but I'm looking forward to it._

 _Guest: Thank you! I hope it continues to be fun for you._

* * *

 _Next time: Don't think too much of it._


	80. Go to Your Head

_Previously: Iskaan came to visit Anna since she's still taking extra good care of her ankle (since she twisted it in chapter 77). Because Rodney finally showed up (in chapter 78), everyone else is ready to find the rest of Sheppard's team since they've been missing for long enough (since chapter 74), thank you very much._

* * *

 **Chapter 80. Go to Your Head.**

Radek knew he was coming, but it was surprising when Rodney walked into the lab anyway. Radek stood from his chair, though he wasn't sure why. Rodney looked… well, okay. He'd looked better. But he'd been gone for over a week, drugged and imprisoned by someone who used to be a friend and was presumed dead. And now Rodney expected himself to get back to work like nothing had happened.

His team needed him, so of course Rodney expected himself to just get back to work.

"Good to see you up and about," Radek offered.

"Hm, yeah, thanks." Rodney walked into the lab with the carriage and attitude of a man trying desperately to keep it together after a night of nothing but alcohol. "I've got the coordinates of a culling that's gonna happen sometime soon, and I know where the hive ship was when it started."

"Find out when it will get there?" Radek guessed. He navigated his computer through a series of portals to find the information Rodney was talking about. He'd already finished it, mostly. Started as soon as the most recent mission report came through, which happened almost as soon as Rodney could put together a cogent sentence.

"And if we have time to get there first, yeah," Rodney answered. "Sheppard, Ronon, and Teyla are on the hive ship."

"Yeah, I read that," Radek mumbled. He shot his calculations over to Rodney's machine. "I just finished with some rough estimates."

Sheppard's team was insane, yes, but even they wouldn't do something like this—run off on a suicide mission to destroy a single hive. That was crazy. Radek didn't want to come to the conclusion, and he knew Rodney was avoiding the conclusion with every far-flung theory he had.

They were dead.

They were alive.

But they were dead.

Silence as Rodney tapped on his computer's keyboard. He paled. "That doesn't give us a lot of time."

"Hardly any," Radek agreed.

"Did you take into account, um…?" Rodney kept tapping and didn't finish his sentence. Instead, he said, "I guess, at the very least, we can warn the planet of the impending culling."

Radek just watched, since there wasn't a lot he could do. He knew that there would be a mission through the 'gate, no matter how much time they had. They were going to try to rescue Sheppard and the others. Radek had to admit that was what he would want if it were his team.

Funny how facing danger like that made people closer. And Radek hadn't even done anything dangerous.

But Rodney was going through the 'gate again. Radek was sure he wasn't the only one questioning the wisdom of this plan. Rodney was essentially a recovering drug addict. He said he was fine, but anyone with two eyes had to see that he was hanging by a thread off the edge of sanity. His eyes were bloodshot, and he hunched over his keyboard much more than normal. Even if the biological difficulties of coming off a near-death high weren't enough, he had to be mentally spent.

"Rodney," Radek said quietly.

"Yeah, what?" Rodney glanced at him for a moment, and then went on, "Oh, yeah, this is fine."

"That's not what I was going to say…"

"Oh. What, then?"

Radek didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything he was going to say to convince Rodney what an awful idea this was. "You're going on the mission, then?"

"Well, there isn't a mission. Not yet. But there will be, as soon as I tell Elizabeth we need one." Rodney stood up and looked around for his tablet. Blinked blearily.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Radek sighed. Maybe, if he just asked a few questions, Rodney would realize: this was insane.

Rodney just shrugged in answer, like it didn't matter. "They need me," he said.

"They need you at your best," Radek corrected. And, even if it wasn't clear to anyone else, it was clear to them. Rodney was a disaster.

"Yeah, well, this is all I got," Rodney snapped. "You're not going to do it, and someone needs to get them back." He paused and stared, giving Radek too much time to think. "Anything else?"

"It's my team going now," Radek said.

"Yeah, so?" Rodney started out of the lab, leaving Radek no choice but to follow him out if he wanted to continue this conversation.

"So, I'll go."

Rodney flat-out halted his march down the walkway, turned, and laughed in his face.

"You? Ha! You hate flying in atmosphere—forget about in space. You've never been on a Wraith hive ship, you've never even seen a Wraith! No, no, this is my team, and I'm getting them back."

Not that Radek hadn't considered the possibility that Rodney would despise him for the rest of eternity—even more than usual, of course—if Radek went on this mission instead and failed. He had no idea what to expect for all the mission reports he'd read about the Wraith. This was exactly the kind of dangerous mission he didn't want to participate in.

"You want the best chance they have of getting back," Radek corrected. "Look at you."

"What's wrong with me, huh?"

"At your best, you're…" What was he saying? At his best, he was better than Radek could ever hope to be, yeah. That went without saying, so he didn't say it. "You aren't at your best. Can you see anything at all?"

"So what? I mean, I slept! Yeah, I was loaded with a cocktail of anti-nausea medication, beta-blockers, pain relievers, and… you know, other stuff. But there was also sedative in there somewhere." And the look on his face said both of them knew that could hardly be called _sleep_.

Instead of saying something else, he turned right around and went on his way to the transporter to go to the Central Tower. Radek followed him there despite half-hearted objections.

Rodney walked across the bridge to Elizabeth's office, and Radek followed.

"Well, look at you," Elizabeth said pleasantly.

"Ah, yes," Rodney said, casting a glance back at Radek as if to say, _See? You idiot?_ "Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as the idiom goes."

Radek never more wanted to say something like, _Really? Are you all crazy?_ And before he knew it, there he was. "Excuse me—what?"

Elizabeth and Rodney both turned to look at him.

"Radek thinks I am physically—"

"And mentally," Radek put in. Because it was more that part. Rodney was physically incapable on a regular basis. He didn't say that, though. He never said that.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rodney demanded, whirling on him. "I am fine! I'm completely fine; look, ask Elizabeth. Elizabeth—Carson gave me a clean bill of health. I didn't die, I'm off the enzyme, I'm back on Atlantis. I'm fine."

Elizabeth nodded a little, seeming to take in everything she'd just seen. She seemed as calm as the sea on a breezeless day. "Let's back up a few steps. What happened out there and where are the others?"

Rodney sighed and seemed to pull his thoughts together. He gave Radek a glare that Radek supposed should have been threatening first. "I think I told you Ford's alive."

"Yes, I got that much." Elizabeth sighed as if that was the most unbelievable part of the story. Not the part where a just-recovered Rodney was going back through the 'gate on a rescue mission.

"He gathered up a little gang, doped them all up on the enzyme. They're the ones that caught us, drugged us, and coerced Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon to join them on a mission to destroy a hive ship."

"Yes, but, Rodney, you never explained exactly how they planned to do that," Elizabeth jumped in. "Since the hive ship was in space…?"

"Yeah, they managed to steal themselves a dart," Rodney said, waving that away as if it were trivial. "Look, when they didn't return from the mission, I realized something had obviously gone wrong. I have the coordinates to the planet that the hive ship was headed towards to cull."

"And a timeframe for how long it will take for the ship to get there," Radek put in.

Elizabeth looked between them with a nod. "So if the team is still alive, maybe captured on the ship, there's a chance we can rescue them."

"Yeah." Rodney's face fell, and he finished, "At the very least, we can warn the planet."

"You'll send Major Lorne?" Radek asked.

Elizabeth nodded and didn't say anything. Looked at him like she expected him to talk, though.

"I'll go," Radek said. "Instead of Rodney."

"Now, hang on a second," Rodney snapped, and took a step toward Elizabeth. "Zelenka's overreacting. He thinks this whole enzyme-slash-incarceration thing has gone to my head, but it hasn't."

Elizabeth sighed and held her hand up to stop any further conversation. "Rodney, I want to believe that you're in top condition and you're the best for the mission right now…" She seemed to weigh the options in her head for half a moment. "But you've been out of the infirmary for, what, an hour maybe?"

"So?" Rodney asked.

"After being there for less than forty-eight hours, and the fact that you don't see that as concerning… concerns me." Elizabeth nodded to Radek.

Radek's heart sank. He didn't think Elizabeth would actually agree with him.

"I'll alert Colonel Caldwell," Elizabeth said. "I want everyone ready to go in an hour."

"I should go, too," Rodney said weakly.

"Rodney," Elizabeth scolded.

"I will do everything I can to get them back," Radek offered. It wasn't much of a comfort, probably. In all likelihood, things were about to go very badly. In an hour, he was going to be in space. He'd better go tell Anna…

There wasn't time.

Colonel Caldwell was eager to get going, and the _Daedalus_ was ready to fly. Radek had never seen Rodney so angry in his life, but he decided not to address it. He followed him around, spitting out instructions on how to carry out a rescue mission. Like there was an instruction manual for things like this.

Colonel Caldwell and Lorne joined them on the way to the _Daedalus_. Before Radek knew it, he was walking off Atlantis and onto the spaceship. It was a neat ship, it was true. He loved the idea of a spaceship. Who wouldn't? It was just flying it… Although, in all the eighteen or nineteen days it took to get here from the Milky Way galaxy, he had managed to avoid anti-anxiety medication.

"The plan is to get in, beam them out, and then leave. The things I will be doing are strictly technical," Radek said. It was why he was going instead of Rodney. Rodney seemed to be having a hard time grasping little details like that.

"Do we have enough time, is the question," Colonel Caldwell said.

"Yes," Rodney answered.

"We think," Radek put in.

"We should," Rodney said over him.

"We hope," Radek finished with glaring at Rodney to shut his mouth and leave it at something slightly less than a sure thing. Not only for Radek's sake, for everyone on the _Daedalus_ that was going to give it their best to get the team back, but also for Rodney. He pretended he knew everything for sure. He didn't know how to not be sure.

"It'll be close, yes, but using the _Daedalus_ , you might be able to get a radio lock on Sheppard and the team in the hive ship. If they're still alive, you can beam them out."

Radek sighed. "Yes, Rodney, we know the plan…"

"Alright, let's get this bird off the ground." Caldwell moved off toward the bridge.

Lorne hesitated between Rodney and Radek. He looked at Rodney. "Coming with us?"

Rodney sighed. "Right." He hung his head, and started for the airlock.

"Rodney," Radek called, guilt goading him to say something, but he didn't know what. When Rodney turned back, Radek realized he had no idea what to say. "Um… take care of Anna for me, while I'm gone?" Why he decided to say _that_ of all things…

Rodney looked equally baffled. "Uh… yeah, sure, okay." He hesitated a few moments before heading out.

Lorne smiled as he watched Rodney leave. "Alright. Ready for this, Doc?"

Radek shook his head. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready at all.

#

Doctor McKay wandered into the infirmary, looking lost.

Anna had talked to Radek on radio after they decided on the rescue mission for Sheppard's team. Anna wasn't sure, but Doctor McKay had to be feeling defeated. Useless. Anna knew the feeling, except she was pretty sure she was useless to begin with. She didn't need a sprained ankle to augment the inclination.

She gave Doctor Beckett a tiny motion to let him know Doctor McKay was here. Doctor Beckett took his eyes off Anna's ankle to look.

"Keep working on those exercises," he said, rising to meet Doctor McKay. "Hello, Rodney. Feeling okay?"

Doctor McKay shrugged. "I don't know."

Doctor Beckett nodded like he expected that, smiled gently. "I see. Well, just because I can't detect any of the enzyme in your system doesn't mean that your body isn't still returning to equilibrium. Take a seat and I'll have a look. Let me go get you something." Doctor Beckett went to gather some equipment or medication or something.

Doctor McKay looked around for somewhere to sit and chose the bed across from Anna. He took one look at her slightly-swollen and discolored ankle. "What happened to you?"

Anna shrugged, continuing with the rotations Doctor Beckett showed her. "Went to the mountains with some Athosians and sprained my ankle pretty badly."

Doctor McKay just stared at her foot.

"You okay?" Anna asked.

He glanced up. "Hm, yeah."

"Radek told me about the mission," she offered apologetically. "I hope they're okay."

"Yeah, me, too."

Maybe he wasn't as "okay" as he said. Anna didn't blame him. She wouldn't be okay in his position, either. "I was here when they brought you in, and you regained consciousness," Anna said quietly. "It was kind of scary. I wouldn't be surprised if, you know, you weren't okay."

"Yeah… see, the thing is, under the influence of the enzyme, I was sure I was making perfect sense. It was everyone else who sounded crazy." He frowned and shook his head quickly. "But Carson says it's gone. So it is. So I should be on the mission."

He sounded like he was just saying that to convince himself. Not Anna. Anna wasn't sure what to say, except that he didn't look good. He looked like he was angry and in pain.

"No offense," he said suddenly, "but your dad is an idiot and has no idea what he's talking about."

Anna tried not to show her surprise. It didn't matter because Doctor McKay wasn't looking at her anyway.

"He managed somehow to convince Elizabeth that I was basically unfit for duty. Look at me." He looked up and motioned to himself. He was wearing his uniform, he looked more-or-less like he always did. Except there was something a bit different that Anna couldn't figure out. "Do I look unfit to you?"

Of all the questions Anna thought she'd never hear from Doctor McKay… "I don't know anything about it."

"I'm perfectly normal."

Anna wanted to say that calling Radek a moron to her face wasn't normal, but, then again… maybe it was a little normal. "I guess. But if you aren't, don't you want someone trying to save Sheppard and the others who is working at one-hundred percent?"

"Only because he was lucky enough to be lounging around on Atlantis because I was imprisoned by Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Who are only merry because they're all high, by the way."

Anna smiled. "Well, he has been sitting around the quarters with me because I haven't been able to go anywhere," she said. "I think he was getting bored. I was getting bored…" She sighed and watched him for whatever he was going to say next.

He was being a little more… unpredictable than usual. She had to agree with Radek on this one. Doctor McKay shouldn't have been on this mission. "Well… I think I'd take being bored before imprisonment."

"Me, too," Anna agreed.

Doctor Beckett came back and started talking to Doctor McKay. He took some blood, made him go take a few other tests, and gave him a few pills. Doctor McKay swallowed them almost immediately without asking what they were. With that, he sat back on the bed next to Anna's. Sighed.

Doctor Beckett watched him with concern for a few seconds before turning his attention back on Anna. "Alright. How's the ankle?"

"Tired…" Anna sighed.

"Time for a break, then," Doctor Beckett said. "Would you like help getting back to your quarters?"

Anna looked around the infirmary. It didn't look like there was going to be an emergency any time soon. She looked at Doctor Beckett hopefully. "Is it okay if I stay for a while?"

"Oh, aye," Doctor Beckett said. "Let me know if you need anything." He looked at Doctor McKay and added, "Both of you."

Doctor McKay and Anna nodded in synchronous. When Doctor Beckett walked away, Anna looked to Doctor McKay. He didn't ask if it was okay if he stayed, but it was fairly obvious he wasn't going anywhere, either.

"I have a question," Anna said.

Doctor McKay raised his eyebrows at her.

"Well, I was thinking… I've been doing a lot of practical sort of homework," she started. "You know, how to reroute power and put things together and I was hoping sometime… I could do something… actually practical."

"Something practical?" Doctor McKay smiled slightly. "Like a job?"

Anna shrugged. "Something like that, I guess."

Doctor McKay turned, pulling his feet up onto the bed and leaning back. He folded his hands on his chest and seemed to think seriously. Either that, or it was the strangest question he ever had. "Huh. Well, we'll see."

* * *

 _A/N: I always wondered how it took Rodney, like,_ no hours _to come off that stuff. Meanwhile, no one except Kanayo is being killed on a hive ship right now. I'm probably missing something. Like the fact that Rodney's the star. But I don't think this is beyond the realm of possible. Seems a tad more realistic (ha what is realistic) to me, but you be the judge. Regardless… is what I'm doin'. Because Rodney's not the star this time.  
Okay, maybe he's a little bit of a star._

 ** _Thank Yous & Etc._**

 _MissMeow1968- Thank you! Glad to see you again, and I'm glad you approve. I couldn't wait to fit in a nice little story or two with Lorne in here. Especially since "The Game" is a thing. "Oh, yeah, baskets!" I feel like Zelenka and Lorne are friends. They tolerate each other very well._

* * *

 _Next time: I'm gonna kill him._


	81. One Hive

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek and Atlantis are looking for Sheppard and his team (since chapter 74). Since that time, Anna has very well learned the perils of mountain climbing. Well. Mountain hiking._

* * *

 **Chapter 81. One Hive.**

Theoretically, the Jumper was perfectly safe. Better to not think about the Wraith hive ship out there. They weren't here to fight, just here to get Sheppard and the rest of his team.

Lorne seemed pretty at ease about the whole thing. He leaned back in his chair and looked at Radek.

"You alright, Doc?" He chuckled when Radek just shot him a glare. "The reason I ask is because you're white as a sheet."

"There are many things that could go wrong," Radek said.

Not the least of which was that they wouldn't get Rodney's team back. Rodney had been working closely with Sheppard and Teyla for as long as Radek had been working with Rodney. Radek hadn't been working with Lorne for very long, but he knew he would rather not let Lorne, Coughlin, and Reed die in a Wraith hive ship. It was stupid, but Radek had already arrived at the point where he even missed Rodney when he was gone just because he was always there.

Imagine if he actually liked Rodney, like how Rodney, ostensibly, liked Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon.

"Yeah, I guess," Lorne was saying. "But, with any luck, we'll raise them on radio and beam them out."

"You haven't been here long," Radek said. "Maybe you don't know our record with luck."

Lorne apparently found that funny. Because he obviously had no idea what their record with luck was like. "Whatever happens is going to happen."

Radek arched an eyebrow at him. Didn't know he thought that way, that things were set in stone and they were just atoms moving other atoms in completely predictable ways. Radek didn't know if he believed that.

Caldwell spoke over the comm at them. "Jumper One, you have a go."

"Hold on," Lorne said to Radek with a half-grin.

"Very funny," Radek muttered. He swore he felt the Jumper lurch out of the bay despite inertial dampeners.

Lorne directed the Jumper out into the blackness of space. "On our way," he reported to Caldwell. "Engaging cloak."

Radek watched the systems diagnostics he could pull up rise and fall as Lorne engaged the drive pods and set them soaring past the planet. Radek watched out the window for a moment, considering how large planets were and how strange it was they could have circumnavigated it in a matter of minutes.

Radek glanced at the Jumper's radar for a moment. "Oh no…"

"What is it?" Lorne asked as the Jumper rounded the planet enough to give them a good view of the planet they were bound for. "Crap."

There wasn't just one hive ship. There were two.

Lorne looked at Radek accusingly. "You said there was only one!"

Why was Lorne yelling at Radek? It wasn't as if Radek was the one who said there would only be one hive ship waiting for them. He was just like Lorne, working off information Rodney gave them. "Já ho zabiju; * I don't know," Radek muttered as he opened the radio to try to contact Colonel Sheppard. "Maybe there was only one before."

"Well, now there's two."

"I can see that."

Lorne sighed in a growl. "I guess fighting is out of the question."

"It was in question before?" Radek demanded.

"Well, it isn't now. Look, try and hail Colonel Sheppard."

"Right, right." Radek went back to the radio and asked it as politely as he could, "Jumper One to Colonel Sheppard. Jumper One to Colonel Sheppard, come in, please?" He waited and then tried for Ronon and Teyla. He glanced at Lorne.

Lorne's expressions were but a series of minute changes to his eyebrows, and that was about it. Probably wondering why Radek was being so polite on a life-and-death rescue mission. "Keep at it, Doc. Both ships. I'm going to get us a bit closer. See if that helps."

Radek didn't see how it could, but he kept trying. For all they knew, Sheppard and his team were dead. They might have been dead before the ship got here. They might have just been captured, but captured was arm's reach from death. Maybe the Wraith just needed a little snack to get them there…

That was morbid. He knew these people. He didn't want to think for half a second that they'd had the life drained out of them, but here he was.

"Jumper One, what's your status?" Caldwell ordered what felt like only seconds later.

Lorne sighed. "We're unable to establish a radio link with Colonel Sheppard or the others on either of the hive ships."

"But that doesn't mean they're dead or not on the hive ship," Radek put in quickly. "If they're captured, it makes sense the radios would have been taken from them." He glanced at Lorne for half a second to try to ask, _That does make sense, right?_

Lorne nodded a little.

"We can't make that assumption," Caldwell said, anyway. "Return to the _Daedalus_ immediately."

Lorne nodded and said, "Almost there."

"Good," Caldwell said. "We need to take those ships out before they start culling."

The link between the _Daedalus_ and the Jumper was cut off. Radek glanced at Lorne helplessly. What were they supposed to do? What did Radek do wrong? If Rodney were here, they wouldn't have stopped looking for Colonel Sheppard's team until they found them.

Now the plan was to return to the _Daedalus_ and nuke the hive ships without any questions.

Why did all the military personnel think that nuking was something one did without any questions? There were always questions, _especially_ when nuclear weapons were involved.

"Should I have argued, what?" Radek wondered.

"We can't let them cull that planet," Lorne said.

Like hell they couldn't, Radek thought. But he didn't say it. They knew about a half a dozen or more cullings about to take place every week thanks to deep space sensors. As terrible as it was, as morbid, as unfeeling, they couldn't save everyone.

And some days, days like today, it seemed like they couldn't save anyone.

"Aren't Sheppard and his team a priority?" Radek asked.

Lorne seemed to consider that. "Yes," he said finally.

"Nó, tak co mně zbejvá, no?" he mumbled. He looked at the sensor readings and the dead radio signal. He willed it to come to life, for Sheppard or Teyla… even a Wraith could use the radio to contact them right now and he'd be okay with that. "Tohleto né." **

Lorne sighed as though he understood exactly what Radek was saying. "Yeah."

"No, you don't understand," Radek said. "Rodney is going to kill me if we don't bring them back."

"You did everything you could, Doc."

Radek leaned back in his chair and watched the stars fly by. Impressive how little he was thinking about it since he was so concerned about getting Sheppard and his team back… "I'll be sure to tell Rodney that when I tell him that Colonel Sheppard and the others either had the life sucked out of them or they were incinerated by a nuclear blast. I did everything I could."

"This was a longshot to start," Lorne said.

That didn't help, either.

The _Daedalus_ was going to have to come out of its hiding place behind the planet to beam its nuclear warheads anywhere, and that assumed that the Wraith ship wasn't equipped with their beam-jamming technology. If they were, Radek would no doubt be called upon to help Hermiod to find a way around that, and they would have about five minutes to do so.

 _Daedalus_ was a powerful ship, though, so at least it was unlikely they'd be left as little crisps in space when this was all over.

Lorne pulled the Jumper into its slot in the bay and stood from his chair as the back door lowered to let them out. "Come on, we gotta get to the bridge."

Radek didn't get to say he'd rather be in engineering before he was following Lorne. The bridge was on the other side of the ship, but it didn't take much time to walk down the long hallway to get there. They came into the room just as Colonel Caldwell ordered one of his officers to put max power to the shields and tell him whether they were in transport range.

Radek could tell just by looking that they must have been. The weapons officer confirmed they had locked coordinates on some spot in the hive ship.

Caldwell spoke with gravity, like he knew the odds that he was killing Sheppard, Ronon, and Teyla were high. "Deploy warhead."

The weapons officer glanced back. "The enemy has engaged countermeasures blocking transport."

"They're jamming us again," Radek mumbled, walking past Lorne to one of the consoles he knew for sure what to do with.

Ah, but who was he kidding? Radek could probably do that weapons officer's job better than he could.

Radek moved to the secondary weapons and shields console on the wall. It was more complex, with more readings and functionality than the streamlined information fed to the weapons officer's console. Working on these things for months and years didn't give him much of an edge when the ship lurched beneath his feet.

Caldwell ordered the forward rail positions to return fire.

The firing rail guns had no discernable impact on the amount of fire the _Daedalus_ took. There were two hive ships out there with only one target.

"How much more of this can we take?" Lorne asked, stumbling to Radek's side since he was apparently more useless on the bridge of the _Daedalus_ than Radek was.

"Not much," Radek answered, and the ship shuddered again with more blasts from the Wraith energy weapon. He turned toward Caldwell, and said loud enough for him to hear, "Shields down twenty percent." This wasn't the time to cut their losses, but they had barely touched even one of the hives yet.

"Retreat isn't an option," Caldwell barked. "Our people have been in Wraith hands for too long. We have to assume they've been compromised and the Wraith know that Atlantis wasn't destroyed."

Damn. Radek hadn't even thought of that. Just another reason he wasn't sitting in that chair.

"We need to win this," Caldwell finished.

Radek fiddled with the controls for a second to pull up the radar at his console. Lorne leaned in to look, but it was difficult to tell what was going on. It was easy to see there were hundreds, if not thousands of darts out there. The cloud of darts reeled and circled in the space between the hive ships and the _Daedalus_ for half a second before racing toward the _Daedalus_ at top speed.

"To je ono… jsme mrtví." ***

Wait just a second… Without thinking much about what he was doing, Radek pointed to the screen.

Lorne looked for a second, then at Radek. "What?" He glanced between the screen and Radek a few times, but still didn't seem to see what Radek saw.

Radek barely saw. "Do you see that?" He squinted, and then spun to look out the forward window. There was no way he should be able to see that single dart out there in the cloud of others, but he could swear he did. "What is that?" He pointed, but he knew no one else could possibly see it, either. "Look, do you see that?"

"What?" Caldwell demanded impatiently.

"It's a dart—it's firing…" He couldn't finish his thought before a second thought asserted itself over that one. "To snad né, **** it's Sheppard."

"What?"

Radek found his tongue again a second later. "That dart is firing on one of the hive ships." They watched as the swarm of darts turned inward, firing on each other. The hive ships directed their fire off the _Daedalus_ almost immediately.

"I don't believe what I'm seeing," Caldwell said.

Delight swept through the bridge as everyone took notice that the _Daedalus_ no longer shook with weapons fire. The hive ships continued to pound each other for three, four, five seconds. Radek had barely enough time to realize this was really very bad. Very bad…

One of the hives suddenly lit up and winked into a blinding explosion.

The second hive followed a second later, and the shockwave rocked the _Daedalus_. Radek turned back to his sensors and shook his head in disbelief. "I don't—the shockwave, it's destroyed everything in a fifteen thousand meter radius."

"Did any darts—?"

"Everything," Radek repeated. Rodney was going to kill him. "Everything, everything is gone."

"Keep looking," Caldwell ordered anyway. "Bring us closer to the wreckage."

Radek stared at the screen. He couldn't have done anything. There was nothing he could have done to save Sheppard. Sheppard just did what Sheppard always did… put his life in danger to save the rest of them.

"But we were so close," Radek growled, pounding a fist on the console. "K čertu s ním." *****

Lorne looked at him, but Radek couldn't figure out what he meant to communicate right now. Radek crossed the bridge to the sensor console, but it was pointless. They were gone; they were dead. They killed themselves. What was Radek supposed to do about that?

#

Anna would have jumped off the hospital bed if she could, but she couldn't. She settled for waving, and shouting, "You're alive!" as if Sheppard, Ronon, and Teyla didn't know that they were.

Sheppard grinned and walked toward her. Doctor McKay actually did jump off his bed and stood in front of John, speechless, for a few seconds. John gave McKay a well-meaning slap on the shoulder when he didn't say anything. "Good to see you, too, Rodney."

Ronon greeted Doctor McKay with a nod and Teyla did her best to answer his question of why they weren't dead. He was glad they were alive, of course. But why weren't they dead?

Sheppard stood next to Anna's bed and stared at her ankle. "Looks like you had some fun while we were gone," he said, turning his eyes up to hers.

"Mountain climbing… sort of." Anna blushed, more for her tears brimming from happiness and relief than for her ability to climb down a cliff without any problem and then fall down a hill. "Where have you been? Are you all okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Might have gotten a dart for all the trouble, too." John looked ultimately pleased about that before turning his attention to the rest of his team. "Ronon and Teyla are here to get checked, though. They've been on the Wraith enzyme for a couple of days... like Rodney. He seems fine."

Anna nodded and glanced at Doctor McKay. He was smiling.

"How did you do it, though?" Anna asked.

John shrugged like it was no big deal. "I'll tell you all about it." He looked around. Seeing Doctor Beckett chasing Teyla and Ronon off to change into white scrubs, he nodded in satisfaction.

"The _Daedalus_ thought you were dead until a couple of minutes ago," Doctor McKay said.

"Yeah, well, who could blame them?" John grinned and jumped up on the bed next to Anna's. "I'm about to tell Anna the whole story. Care to join us, Rodney?"

McKay nodded, maybe a bit more enthusiastically than he might have under other circumstances. He took a seat on the bed next to John.

"You can tell us what happened to you after we left," Sheppard said.

"Uh… yeah," Doctor McKay said tentatively. "Maybe."

John looked amused, and then looked at Anna. "Alright, well, it started with Rodney complaining that our covert ops never happen on beaches filled with beautiful women…"

"Seriously?" Doctor McKay interrupted. "That's where you start?"

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Another "all the Czech" chapter! Fun times. This time almost all from Stargate, though.

* I'm gonna kill him. (Courtesy of _Tao of Rodney_.)

** Well, so what else can I do, huh? / This sucks. (Courtesy of _Quarantine_.) (Though, putting that first sentence in Google translate (what? I don't have many Czech friends. In any case, those I may or may not have probably don't want to be constantly bombarded with questions like "What does this mean?" at all hours of the day) yields "Yeah, what's wrong with me?" which surprisingly works even better in this context, in my opinion...)

*** This is it… we're dead. (Courtesy of _Thirty-Eight Minutes_ and Google.)

**** I don't believe this. (Courtesy of _Quarantine_.)

***** Damn him. (I hope. More like "to hell with him" I think. Anyway. Courtesy of Google. I can't believe Radek never said something to this effect onscreen.)

* * *

 _ **Thank yous & etc.**_

 _MissMeow1968 - Thanks, I'm glad you like it! Rodney really does have a tough time with... yeah, people, I think. He has a hard time with people. It looks like Anna is in for a little bit of excitement in her future. Another planet may or may not be involved. But the planet isn't exciting._

 _KeianaLunae - Ah, thank you so much! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story and it means the world to me when people say that the characters seem real to them. I'm also glad that including Lorne in the story has been entertaining. I am hoping to continue developing the story where he is involved. Also: yes, orange crystal rocks! At the very least, they lead fun places. Fun places that must be handled delicately in the grand scheme of things... See you next week!_

* * *

 _Next time: And by that you mean I need to get a job..._


	82. Grow Up

_Previously: Sheppard's team got back safe and sound from their capture (in chapter 74). Anna's been a good patient and doing physical therapy for her twisted ankle (since chapter 77). She got to spend some time with Rodney in the infirmary as he got off from using Wraith enzyme, and asked him an important question about doing some real work around Atlantis (chapter 80)._

* * *

 **Chapter 82. Grow Up.**

Halfway through March, Anna could put some weight on her foot again easily. She was walking on her own with only a little limp to put her off-balance. She didn't have it in her to go to the mainland quite yet, however much she wanted to. She was happy enough she got to do some light training with Teyla, and she was back at the shooting range, too. The only thing that never changed was science, except Doctor McKay expected her to do nothing except science homework since she couldn't walk.

Anna didn't know how the one followed logically from the other, but she didn't question it all the same.

Doctor McKay didn't know that Iskaan came to Altantis more than usual. Doctor McKay didn't know Iskaan at all. Iskaan's visits seemed to take up a lot of Anna's time. She didn't know what they did or what they talked about, but they certainly seemed to do a lot of it.

She sat in the Jumper Bay right now, watching him load things for their next trading mission.

"I remember when my people lived on a river," he said as he moved a cooler, courtesy of Atlantis's storage rooms below. "We fed all our people and had plenty to trade," he said. "Agriculture is a different sort of thing for trading, though. That's for sure. I feel like we operate on shortages most of the year."

Anna didn't know anything about it, so she just shrugged. "But it's harder to fish in the winter, isn't it?"

"Yes…" Iskaan said. "We just stored the fish and didn't have any vegetables."

"I would have liked that when I was small. I hated vegetables." Anna laughed.

Iskaan chuckled politely and paused for a long time. Anna watched him in some concern, and waited for him to talk. Finally, he looked over his shoulder. "I'll be gone for a few weeks on this trading mission," he said, and seemed to shrink as he hunched over. "It's a circuit, from planet to planet. We do it every year around this time."

"A few weeks." Anna was surprised at how disappointed her voice sounded. She hadn't realized how much she enjoyed having someone near her own age to talk to. In addition, Iskaan was easy to talk to, nice, and he didn't want to talk about Atlantis power systems all the time like Doctor McKay and Radek did.

"I hope you have a good time," she finished finally, for lack of anything else to say.

"I usually do." He didn't seem as convinced of his ability to enjoy himself this time.

Anna dared not question why, but she turned out not needing to.

"This will be my first time directing the trades on my own. The first time my father isn't in charge of the trading missions." Iskaan turned to face her, his hands on his hips. He no longer seemed so small. He had the build of a quick athlete more than a strong one, but he was only seventeen. In fact, Anna had never noticed how tall he was so distinctly before.

"You'll do well," Anna said.

"I know." Iskaan seemed sure, as he nodded and took a step toward the Puddle Jumper. "It's my first test as an adult in our community."

"You guys do grow up fast…" Anna mumbled. Or maybe the kids on Earth grew up slowly. "I might actually get to start working on actual systems malfunctions and diagnostics with Doctor McKay soon, though. That'll be my own first test." Maybe she was growing up, too… "Maybe even this week."

"This will be exciting for both of us, then," Iskaan said. He closed the distance between them, leaving less than a foot of empty air and contemplation between them. "I'll miss you, though. I've enjoyed your company these past weeks."

"Me, too," Anna answered. "Thank you for visiting me while my ankle was… um, hurt."

Anna wasn't sure what might have happened when Doctor McKay stormed into the Jumper Bay. Anna supposed that if things like that kept happening to them, nothing might ever happen. She wasn't sure if she was okay with that or not.

No, absolutely not.

"There you are, Anna." Doctor McKay sighed and looked at her for a second. Then he glanced at Iskaan, pointed at him. "Who are you?"

"Iskaan." Iskaan gave a bow of his head. "I'm an Athosian trader and hunter."

"Oh, sure, sure," Doctor McKay said with a quick nod and a dismissive wave of his hand. "Anna, I think we should—"

"I was kind of talking to Iskaan, Doctor McKay," Anna interrupted quietly.

Doctor McKay looked stunned.

Iskaan looked horrified.

"Well, what does he need you for?" Doctor McKay demanded indignantly. "It's not like you're flying the Puddle Jumper for him." Then he paused, apparently remembering that Anna possibly could have flown the Puddle Jumper. "Well, you," he stammered, "you aren't, are you? Because that would be inconvenient."

"No, I'm not flying the Jumper," Anna said.

"It's okay, Anna," Iskaan said. "I'll see you in a few weeks."

A few weeks. It hit her again like a rock over the head.

Okay, maybe not that bad…

"There, see, he'll see you in a few weeks. I have a new group of labs on the extremity of the west pier that I think we should take a look at." Doctor McKay walked off, apparently assuming that Anna was going to follow.

"Sorry," Anna whispered to Iskaan before taking a step after Doctor McKay. Exploring a group of labs was exactly what Anna had asked him to let her do with the science team. Several weeks ago. But somehow he didn't forget about her.

"It's okay." Iskaan caught her arm before she could get too far and pulled her back. Rested his forehead on hers. "Until we meet again."

Anna caught her breath as soon as he let her go. "Until we meet again." She gave a small wave and hurried after Doctor McKay, but not quite at a run. Her ankle still couldn't do that.

#

"Rodney." Do not make eye contact. Keep monotone. And, for heaven's sake, use English. "I am already late for a meeting with Kusanagi on the Jumper repairs, I am behind on a half-dozen power consumption limit reports for the lab directors; I do not have time right now."

He didn't have the time, and he did not have the patience. Adamson and Halla, in all their wisdom, nearly melted down a segment of waste management's power systems because they didn't make a distinction in water pressure in the central tower versus the pier. It was a stupid mistake, an oversight. At best, they could have blown out twenty or so junctions. At worst, Atlantis's central tower could have regressed to the state in which they'd found it: under water.

And then they'd yelled at _him_ for falling behind on the mileage calculations for the pumps, because if they'd had that, they would have realized their mistake much sooner, and—

Radek was a physicist! Not a mechanical engineer, or a plumber, or whatever-the-hell-job-title was supposed to be doing work like this.

Long story short, Rodney needed to keep his mouth shut.

But Rodney didn't take blatant instructions. Forget polite hints. "That's fine," he said. "I'll walk with you."

"Fine."

When Rodney said nothing for a moment, Radek wondered if he was somehow out of shape so that he couldn't walk at a quick pace and talk at the same time. Or perhaps he was just waiting for Radek to say something.

"What is it, then?"

"I just wanted to let you know that tonight, Anna is coming with me, Jones, Talbot, and, uh, that other guy? Anyway, it's a lab in the lower west pier. Should be boring, but she'll be back late and she asked me to pass it along, since, you know, I was going to see you."

"Fine," he said. "How is she doing?"

"Oh, you know, she has no idea what's going on, but she hasn't blown anything up yet." He smiled, fondly and with amusement. "It's cute."

Radek bristled. "Say that about my daughter again, and I may blow something up." And Radek more-or-less knew what was going on.

"Come on, Radek," Rodney groaned. "You know what I mean. It's great—you know, I never considered how rewarding teaching could be. I mean, yeah, students are morons, but it's great to catch them before they commit a bunch of idiotic notions to memory."

To think, for a moment Radek was hopeful for Rodney's humanity from the initial direction of that sentence. "Yes?" he said. "Good. I'm glad she hasn't had much a chance to let idiotic notions contaminate your opinion of her."

"Yeah…" Rodney kept following him, for some reason, even though Radek couldn't imagine where else this conversation could go. Rodney suddenly turned a bit toward him with a prideful smile. "She calls me Rodney, now, you know."

"I'm—uh—good?" What was he supposed to say? _She calls me by my first name, too_?

"Wait, so you're going to work on Jumper repairs?" Rodney asked suddenly.

Radek nodded. Rodney knew that very well, having given him the assignment to oversee Jumper repairs. Radek figured he might as well get some enjoyment out of it and handle some repairs personally. "Jumper Six went down."

"Yeah, I know, I read the report," Rodney snapped.

Radek stayed quiet. It had been months since Radek last worked on a Puddle Jumper, mostly because he'd finished mapping out the necessary combinations of crystal alignment from the rear crystal panel. He traced every single electrical signal from the controls to the drive pods and knew the door mechanism like he knew his own shoes. He spent weeks on that, the very first thing he did on Atlantis, hours backed to hours in the back of a Puddle Jumper.

That was how he knew it was going to be good here. He didn't draw the short straw for once. He was working on Ancient spaceships.

For a while, he was the de facto expert on Puddle Jumpers, but he'd been called away from his precious machines more than he wanted and eventually he was transferred to an entirely different department. And then he was put in charge of another department.

Oh, yeah, he brought his daughter to Atlantis, too.

He wasn't an _expert_ on anything anymore. Least of all that last thing.

"It got shot down by the Wraith, right?" Rodney wondered.

Radek was about to make some jab about his having read the report, but he didn't get to say much else. He walked into the Jumper Bay and his breath caught in his throat. Rodney gave a small, shocked cough.

The Jumper was open, the sides all mangled and scorched. One of the drive pods had been pulled out, but it was a miracle it was still connected. Since the Jumper was powered up, it flickered and sparked pathetically while a handful of technicians and military members on cleaning duty approached with mops, buckets, and latex gloves.

The most noticeable thing, by far, was the Jumper's window. It was built to withstand a vacuum, crash landing, Wraith weapons fire. Of course, should a human skull impact the window, the skull would break first.

Dried blood smeared the window and pooled on the controls. That was all Radek could see from his vantage outside the Jumper.

"I didn't realize it was this bad," Rodney mumbled.

Radek pulled out his tablet to take another look at the brief from the Jumper's last mission. "They ran into a Wraith culling," Radek said. "Cloak was functional when they went down, so none of the team was culled, but propulsion and inertial dampers went out, along with… well, a bunch of other systems…" He let his voice trail away when he read the latest update, just ten minutes ago. "Higginson didn't make it."

"Oh, my god. Higginson? My—the Higginson that works in my lab? That Higginson?"

Radek sighed and handed Rodney the tablet.

"Even if she'd lived, she'd never been able to walk again. A burst fracture, seven broken ribs…"

Radek imagined the list went on even further than that. Rodney didn't continue, though, and just handed the tablet back. Radek took it and pulled up the initial reports from the scans on the Jumper. At this point, there wasn't anything on the Jumper they didn't have to fix.

"Patterson died in there," Rodney said quietly.

Radek didn't even know Patterson, and doubted Rodney did, either. It wasn't a friendly thought, though. Patterson was apparently the one with the head broken on the Jumper windshield. Just another way to remember that going offworld wasn't at all safe.

"I'll leave you to it," Rodney said quietly. "Good luck."

Radek just nodded and Rodney left.

No wonder Elizabeth sounded so distraught when she contacted him this morning to ask about something to do with the chair interface. Using it to control something. Radek didn't remember, because he put it on his list of things to do later. Things to do when he wasn't about to drop dead from exhaustion.

She had condolence letters to write.

If only he could stick to working with the Jumpers forever.

So long as he didn't have to fly in them.

* * *

 _Next time: "Sat on a roof, named every star." – Coldplay "Amazing Day"_


	83. By Any Other Name

_Mush Alert! This chapter doesn't even veer off road anywhere near inappropriate-for-twelve-year-olds (I guess? I don't know what's age-appropriate. Disney movies have more stuff than this, though, so.) territory, but I like to have warning on mushy stuff? Because? I don't know. Just because. It seemed like a good idea at the time._  
 _Long time coming, though, amirite?_

 _Previously: After a long and confusing road, beginning and probably ending with Radek embarrassing himself beyond words (chapters 40, 51, 58-59, 72, and 76), he has more-or-less given up on trying to understand anything ever. Meanwhile, Anna gets to find out firsthand what it's like to work with Doctor McKay._

* * *

 **Chapter 83. By Any Other Name.**

"Is this it?" Anna asked, showing Doctor McKay her tablet. A graph spiked and dipped on the screen.

Doctor McKay hemmed and hawed for a moment before finally acknowledging that what Anna had in her hands was precisely what he was looking for. He thanked her, quietly, and pointed toward an Ancient machine that looked like it had been switched off and gathering dust for ages. Doctor McKay didn't know what it did.

Doctor McKay asked her to call him Rodney. That was a little odd, but she appreciated the gesture. Maybe. It was hard to tell if it was a gesture. She tried to remember to call him Rodney when she had to, but she didn't really use his name all that often. She noticed that the others in his lab called him Doctor McKay, though, so it was a little weird. Even Radek called him _Doctor McKay_ sometimes.

For some reason, he wanted her to like him. It was the only explanation she could come up with.

Anna walked over to the machine and inspected the labels on the switches and buttons, and found the one for the power. She glanced up at Rodney. "Can I turn it on?" she asked.

"Uh… yeah, yeah," Doctor McKay answered absently.

Anna didn't know whether to take him at his word or not. He'd definitely given the affirmative. Anyone would back her up… if anyone were here right now. The two other scientists went to look at the power junctions leading into this room.

"These junctions are really something else," Rodney muttered. "What the hell is this thing?"

Anna decided he hadn't been listening to her, after all. If he'd really wanted to know what it was, he might have turned it on a while ago, except that this room apparently ate up a lot of power. Anna could see that herself just judging by the rings in the top corners of the pipes outside. The rings tended to denote how much power could be fed into the adjacent room, as a sort of hint to treasure-hunters outside which rooms were worth exploring. They'd be useful for Ancient repair crews, too.

"It's about twelve times the power that goes to your lab," Anna said after some mental arithmetic.

"It's—yeah, almost exactly." Rodney arched an eyebrow at her. "Do you, uh…?" He looked at Anna's tablet in his hand, and then glanced at his by the door.

Had none of the Atlantis expedition seriously noticed the rings that were right in front of their faces? Well… Anna was the only one she could think of who spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling. She could show him later… Or maybe just show Radek and let him continue the tradition of freaking out Doctor McKay.

That sounded like more fun.

"I just remembered," she said.

"Hm." Rodney chuckled and went back to Anna's tablet. "Yes."

Anna smiled and went over to the machine's front. Or, rather, what looked like a front. It was the only machine in here, as far as Anna could tell. It looked much like other Ancient machines, with sloped consoles on the front, and enigmatic buttons decorated with runes. The machine attached to the console wrapped around the room, stopping at intervals to feed into large boxes with yet more glass consoles on them.

Anna traced the machine's path around the room to the end. There was a door there that opened easily when Anna pulled on it.

"What are you doing?" Rodney demanded, rising and discarding Anna's tablet as he did. "You don't know what it does—what if it zapped you or if you just let out some crazy, brain-eating virus or something." Rodney joined her next to the door and peered inside.

"Well…" Anna mumbled, thinking that was probably a good point. Except the door was quite obviously not sealed so as to keep any microorganisms inside and there was no indication that anything at all was going on with the machine, electrical or otherwise. But, then, it paid to be cautious.

Someone should tell Colonel Sheppard that.

"Nothing happened," she offered weakly.

"Yeah, this time," Rodney said. He looked inside, pulled out a tray of crystal chips, and then put it back inside. "This must be some sort of access port."

He started to walk away while Anna pulled the tray back out. "I don't think so," she said.

Rodney halted. He didn't say anything for a second, but he chuckled derisively. "Oh, you don't? What else could it be, hm?"

Anna pulled a few of the chips inside out. To her surprise, Rodney didn't scold her, maybe because it would be simple enough to put it back where she'd found it. She turned it in her fingers and then put it back before pushing it back into its hatch.

"I don't know," she said quietly. She turned around the room and pointed at the obviously main console in the room, clear on the other side where she'd started. "I think that's where it starts." She shouldn't have said anything. Not until she had some explanation for her thought.

"Where it starts…?" Rodney mumbled under a half-scoff, and went back to his tablet. He left Anna's on the console.

Anna went back to the console. She thought she'd seen the word somewhere. The word in Ancient, something like _beginning_ or _start_. She was mostly unfamiliar with Ancient, still, but she knew a handful of words by sight because she saw them around a lot.

"What was your first clue?" Rodney wondered, pointing out the word on the console that had the Ancient word that Anna remembered. "The question is, what does it start?"

"If that's the start, I think that's the end," Anna said finally. "I think it makes the chips."

Rodney put down his tablet and looked around. "You think this is a crystal-manufacturing room?"

Anna nodded. "They have to make them somehow, don't they?"

"Well, yeah," Rodney said. He looked at the console at the beginning of the room, his finger tracing over the Ancient runes quickly, almost like he was reading his native English instead of Ancient. "I suppose they would have to have one of those around here somewhere, wouldn't they?"

"They'd have to make a lot of things here," Anna said. "Everything. Crystals, ZPMs."

Rodney's eyes flickered up at the mention of ZPMs.

Anna continued. "This was their biggest and best city, right? This was the one they picked to make their last stand against the Wraith. They let everything else go, so they must have been fairly confident in their ability to sustain themselves, right?"

Rodney nodded, waving his finger in her direction. "Of course, yeah, that makes sense. Atlantis wasn't just a place for research for them, but it's that, too. My god, they must have all sorts of industrial mechanisms all over the place just to keep the city running for thousands of years. They had no idea how long they'd be here, did they?"

Anna shook her head.

"I wonder if we could figure out how to make it work… what kind of crystals would it make? If, you know, that's what it does," he added, quietly. He attached his tablet to the console by a wire and tapped around.

Anna felt a bit puffed up as she walked over to see what it was he was doing, but the Ancient scrolled by on his screen so fast that she couldn't decipher them. Rodney didn't even stop to read.

"But it's not a bad idea, is it?" she asked. She didn't know why she wanted so badly for Rodney to tell her that it was a reasonable thought she'd had. Maybe even a good thought.

"Yeah, I guess, it's not bad," Rodney agreed. Suddenly, he paused and glanced at her with a grin. "You sure you're a Zelenka?"

Anna gave him a well-meaning elbow in the arm. He looked a little pleased about it, and went back to his tablet. One need only look at her to see the resemblance. Anyway, it wasn't like Radek was an idiot.

And it wasn't like Anna was particularly all that smart, figuring this little puzzle out. Rodney just wanted everything to be amazing, complicated, and magical. He forgot that people had to live somehow, they had to put their cities together and keep them running. They had to do the day-to-day boring, methodical, and mundane. There wasn't anything smart about that…

Rodney didn't know how to not be smart.

Anna's heart fell with the realization that she couldn't possibly be as smart as Rodney, not ever. Kind of like how Radek would never be like Rodney. He got pretty close, but he'd never be like him.

"I'm sure I am," she said finally, for lack of anything else to say. She wished she could be more like Rodney, just a little bit. She wanted to see the amazing, complicated, and magical, too.

But, not everything was that way. Most of life was boring, methodical, and mundane. That meant that, even if it wasn't exciting, she was still seeing things that Doctor McKay wasn't. Maybe being a Zelenka wasn't so bad.

#

Radek squinted at the screen flashing the error message at his face. " _No, no, no_ ," he begged it, shoving off from that desk to roll over to another one. " _Why do you do this? What have I done to you?"_ He started clacking away at the keyboard. This was going to be a long night, or else a long day tomorrow. Or maybe both.

"You have an error message," Elizabeth joked from the doorway.

She usually made such an entrance. Not that she came to see him with any predictable frequency… Though, more now than before. He had noticed that. It was strange, but pleasant. Especially since only sometimes did she come with various technological complaints that he was supposed to fix. Even when she did, those line items in their talks seemed more superficial.

She walked in without invitation, not that she needed one, and set a bottle of wine on the table. Two plastic cups followed.

"Uh, yeah…" he mumbled uncertainly. He stood, because it seemed the thing to do, and cast a glance over his shoulder toward the computer displaying its insistent error. "I don't know what's wrong with it." Might as well not bother to explain what _it_ was. He was far more interested in what _this_ was. "What is going on?"

"Všechno nejlepší," * Elizabeth said, brandishing a wine-opener. "It's March twenty-first. Don't tell me you don't celebrate your name day because then I'll have gone to all this trouble for nothing."

He half-smiled. "I won't say it's for nothing. It has been a long time since I observed it."

"Maybe it's time to get back to it," Elizabeth offered. She poured a bit of wine into each glass.

Radek swore to himself after he got his degrees, he would never celebrate any occasion with liquor in plastic cups again. However, he didn't plan for another galaxy, either, so he figured this was the right place for exceptions.

There was no legitimate complaint he could have with this, plastic or not.

"I used to try to send Anna a card for hers." And, he guessed, he should get her some flowers or something this year. It wasn't for a long time yet, and he was sure when it came down to it he'd remember. Or Elizabeth would remember. "Will this become tradition, then?" He took the cup Elizabeth offered him.

"I don't know," Elizabeth said. "I hope so." She offered the rim of the cup in a toast.

The cups made a hollow sound when they touched.

She hoped so? Well… in that case, so did he.

"Thank you for this." He supposed he could find out which day was for the Czech equivalent of Elizabeth. Get her some flowers or something. "It's very nice." The wine was good, too.

Elizabeth picked up the wine bottle and observed the label. She sighed and set it back down. "I'm glad." But she didn't sound glad. She sounded like this was a mistake.

He looked down at his wine. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said with a sudden smile. "I'm fine."

He knew very little about women anymore. Or maybe he never did. That sort of thing took time and study, and he hadn't ever dedicated the effort it obviously required. But he happened to know the words _I'm fine_ rarely delivered as advertised.

On the other hand, calling her out on skirting the truth right now seemed like a bad idea. He did the next best thing and took a sip of wine.

"I just realized what a hypocrite I am," Elizabeth said, so suddenly and unexpectedly that he didn't know how—or if—to respond right away. He knew enough to not choke on his wine, though. "I got this bottle to share with Simon. At the time, I thought for sure he would come on the Atlantis expedition. Who would want to pass up this chance? Who wouldn't want all this?" She gestured around the room.

She was right. Who wouldn't?

Apparently, Simon. He could have had all this _and_ Elizabeth. What on Earth could compare?

"But why is that hypocritical?" He put his cup down in case she said something else shocking.

"Because I loved Simon."

Radek blinked in confusion. He was simply not following. He'd have to just hold his breath and hope that Elizabeth explained herself. He couldn't make a very convincing case for her not being a hypocrite—though he was still sure she wasn't counterfeit in any sense, not pretending, not a fraud—without knowing why she thought that.

"And it wasn't as though if Simon came on the expedition, I was going to give up my office."

Oh.

Radek looked down, simply to avoid letting on that, while he hadn't thought of that before, he couldn't exactly say she was wrong. She was willing to make exception for the man she loved—the very thing she wanted to never do; she never wanted to be accused of favoritism like that. It was the reason she presented for backing away from him…

She probably had other reasons, but she shouldn't feel she had to lie. He didn't have much of an ego to save. At least, he shouldn't have, working with Rodney.

"I was perfectly fine with putting myself in the position of having to make a decision between Simon and any other doctor on Atlantis…" She looked a bit thoughtful. "I'm not sure what I thought of my judgement then. Did I think I'd never have to choose? Who do I send into a dangerous situation, Carson or Simon? Or did I honestly think my judgement wouldn't suffer?"

Radek didn't like where this conversation was going. He was sure Elizabeth would make the right decision, but if Elizabeth didn't agree, it didn't matter what he thought. It didn't matter if this could work.

It wouldn't, anyway. They were both so busy. Their interests and personalities were nothing alike.

Yet, they were not dissimilar, either.

He ventured to ask, "Have you decided which, um…?" He set his jaw and determined to say nothing else. _Should have taken a drink instead, you moron…_

She nodded a little and poured a bit more wine in her cup, and then in his. "I think I have." She took a drink and set the cup down. "I've decided I should trust the Elizabeth that trusted herself to make the right decisions."

Radek could drink to that. He reached for his plastic cup to lift it in a toast, when his movement, his thoughts, his existence was disrupted.

Elizabeth stepped closer, her lips brushing his cheek, and his heart might have stopped.

She retreated almost immediately, a soft, cute pink rising to her cheeks. "I'm, um…"

"Oh, no." He couldn't get a grip on his voice at first, but it came back just in time for him to say, "Neomlouvej." He wasn't sure why he said it that way—it was just the first thing that came to mind. Well… maybe not the _first_ thing. He put his hand on her arm, and she didn't pull away. "Don't apologize."

Radek put the plastic cup back down and watched Elizabeth, because nothing else in the room seemed to exist anymore. Had they danced around this long enough, now? Had he? Elizabeth probably had no idea…

Radek had no idea, either. No idea how long he'd wanted to hold her. No idea since when he'd wanted to kiss her. No idea if this was actually happening. If his throbbing pulse was any indication…

She let him step closer without backing away. Let him put his arms around her. Let him kiss her.

She kissed him back.

Afterward, Elizabeth stayed close, her eyes low.

He watched her, though. She was blushing, her color warming the room's cool blue lights. A smile played at the corners of her perfect lips… if he could kiss them again… But he didn't. Not yet. He pushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, his fingertips burning with her touch.

"I've loved you a long time, you know," he said quietly.

Elizabeth laughed a little, the sound almost as wonderful as the kiss. Almost. She lifted her eyes to meet his, eyebrows arching. "Oh? You have?"

Radek nodded. It felt like a long time, anyway. It felt like… like something he couldn't remember anymore. Not right now. "Yeah, I have."

The universe did not treat Radek Zelenka this way, did it?

Better not question it, in case the universe should realize.

"Well," Elizabeth said. "I wasn't exactly sure about you at first. It took a little bit to decide you weren't just completely crazy."

Radek almost laughed, since that was probably the understatement of her life. And she was the diplomat. "Understandable." Probably shouldn't ask how long it took for her to change her mind… or if she did. It was true, after all.

When she leaned closer, it decidedly didn't matter. He didn't need an explanation, anyway.

"Many happy returns, Radek," she said softly.

He really hoped so.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Všechno nejlepší = All the best.

* * *

 _A/N: Alright. *shakes hands out* That was uncomfortable for me. I just don't do this romance stuff, guys, not with characters that aren't mine. Feels just wrong. I could explain why, but this would get long. I just. I—*facedesk*_  
 _It is important for the story, though, you know. The "how Radek and Anna become a family" story._  
 _…_  
 _Oh, you didn't know I had a story I was working on?_  
 _…_  
 _Understandable._

 _But, you know, it's Radek's birthday, so there had to be something special. So. You know. Happy birthday._

* * *

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _Missmeow1968 - I'm glad you've been liking Iskaan. It is sad about the crew-members, though. I get the feeling that Atlantis is really much more dangerous than the outlandish success rate of Sheppard's team would have us believe. As for that other thing...? Well, I mean, we'll just have to wait and see what happens, won't we? *shifty eyes* (Seriously, I think that's the second or third time you predicted a concept I was using in one way or another... Hopefully you'll like my variation on it when the time comes.)_

* * *

 _Next time: There is a problem, though…_


	84. Discreet

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: It turns out that Doctor Weir might have… feelings? Meanwhile, Anna is enjoying working with Rodney! Maybe "enjoying" is too strong a word…_

* * *

 **Chapter 84. Discreet.**

It was later than Anna realized. She checked the clock on her tablet and then looked at the door, like maybe it had something to do with Radek's being so late. After dinner, he went back to his lab to just do "one thing" or another. As usual, that was that.

She sighed and pushed the tablet away. If he worked late like this every night, it would explain his frequent sleeping in these days, but he didn't. He was never out this late, one of those people that went to bed at a very reasonable hour unless something unreasonable had happened during the day to necessitate his staying up.

Anna diverted her thoughts to the huge chunk of ZPM-looking crystal sitting under her desk in her room. She wanted to sneak down to the geology lab tonight to run some of her own tests on it, find out if the crystal was at all analogous to the ZPM itself. If it was, she might just be in the ZPM-making business. Assuming she could find the room for it. They had chip-making rooms, robot-making rooms, and virus-making rooms. Anna didn't guess the Ancients would leave out a room for making their power source.

How much power did it take to make their power source?

She would have to figure that out later. She first had to know if she even could make the thing. Figure out the financing of her little project. But something told her a couple of hours of solar power wasn't going to cover constructing a pocket of subspace.

It was eleven o'clock when the door slid open and Radek stepped inside. His eyes fell over the room, one fixture at a time, before landing on Anna. He glanced from her seat on the floor, to the couch, then back again. She'd missed her regular station on the floor since her ankle put her on the couch for so long.

" _Hi?_ " she said.

" _Hi. Sorry I'm so late._ "

It wasn't a big deal, but she felt like she said that a lot, so she just shrugged.

Radek walked into the room and looked around, finally seizing one of the books he left out this morning. He picked it up, ran his fingers down the spine, and turned it over. Was it just her, or was Radek acting strange…? Or maybe it was just Radek being Radek… It was really hard to tell sometimes.

" _Is anything wrong?_ "

Radek glanced up, looking slightly in a panic. " _Am I acting like something is wrong?_ "

Anna shrugged. She didn't mean for her interrogation to turn against her so suddenly.

" _I don't think anything is wrong_." He discarded his book, right back where he'd found it, and walked around to take a seat on the couch.

" _Okay_." Anna supposed she'd just take his word for it. " _Hey_ ," she said, and he looked at her with some sort of intense interest. " _Can I ask you a question?_ "

A bit dubious about his answer, he shifted his eyes from one side of the room to the other before finally settling his gaze on her again. " _Uh… sure?_ "

" _Just about ZPMs,_ " she said, wondering what in the world he thought she was about to ask about.

" _Oh, okay, yes._ "

Maybe she should have seen his sudden enthusiasm coming. After all, he liked nothing better than ZPMs and other technical aspects of Atlantis, right? Anna always knew that if she really wanted to get his attention, she was just a question about power junctions away.

" _I understand that it extracts vacuum energy from an artificial region of subspace until it reaches maximum entropy,_ " Anna started. Maybe the words _I understand_ were a little too strong for this situation. On the other hand, she wasn't really concerned about what it did.

Still, he watched her with a growing smile.

" _But how are they made?_ "

Radek half-chuckled as he blew the air out of his lungs and rounded the couch. " _Well, that's… we aren't really sure,_ " he said finally as he sank down on the couch. " _Why would you want to know how to make them—you don't even know what zero point energy is, do you?_ "

Anna shook her head, but didn't get the chance to explain herself.

" _I'm not even sure I could explain it before… uh…_ " He looked around, apparently for a clock. Finding none, he finished, " _Well, before I'll want to go to sleep_."

" _Well… I don't think understanding how it works is really all that important_." Anna walked over to the couch and sat on the other side.

He looked at her like she'd grown a third nostril. " _How is that not important?_ "

" _I don't think we have to understand everything about it before we know how to make one. It might make it easier, but…_ " She waited, maybe for Radek to give her something like an affirmative. He never did, so she asked, " _What are they made of?_ "

" _Wait… what?_ " He sighed and shook his head. " _I'm not sure, but—_ "

" _I just don't think it's necessary to understand everything one-hundred percent in order to use it,_ " Anna explained. " _I mean, look at us. We're in this ten-thousand year old city and we're pretty happy to have the showers working._ "

Radek just stared.

" _You're telling me the people making the earliest transmitters understood what radio waves were?_ "

He chuckled at that, but didn't seem convinced. Anna wasn't really convinced, either. " _There's a bit of a difference between radio waves and zero point energy, but I guess you make a point,_ " he allowed.

" _We don't have to know what the picture looks like before we start putting the puzzle pieces together_."

" _That sounds dangerous_."

Naturally, that would be his objection. Anna smirked. " _You're the one who decided to go to another galaxy. I think you don't get to be concerned about danger. Not about this, anyway._ "

He seemed to find that funny. At least he wasn't mad about her cavalier manner of courting potential danger. Just wait until he learned she was sneaking down to the geology lab to use a bunch of machines she'd never used without supervision before.

" _Alright, yes, I think that if we could find a very detailed schematic and the necessary equipment to make a ZPM… we could turn it on_ ," Radek allowed finally. " _But ZPM crystals are like the diamonds of the Pegasus galaxy_."

" _Very valuable,_ " Anna said quietly.

Radek paused for a moment, as though trying to find the connection between what he'd said and what Anna said. " _Yes, but I was talking about the molecular organization._ "

Anna blushed a little. It wouldn't be very much like Radek to make that kind of comparison, now that she thought about it. She stayed quiet, thinking about the crystal in her room. If it was a ZPM crystal, like she thought, she'd rather surprise him. But she didn't suppose she'd be able to tell if a molecule was highly structured just by looking at it…

No, probably not.

She had to analyze it first.

Radek suddenly stood. " _I'm going to bed. Unless you had more questions?_ "

Anna paused, and shook her head. She smiled up at him. " _No. I can ask you any other questions I have tomorrow. It's not really that important._ "

He nodded and disappeared into his room. As soon as the door shut, Anna jumped up and skipped to her room. Tonight, she'd find out if she'd found anything valuable. She probably hadn't. But she'd find out.

#

Was he seriously doing this? Going to the control room just to see her? It would be fine if he didn't even talk to her. He just wanted to see her. He was behaving like a child, and he had no idea why. It had been a long time since he'd felt like this, felt anything at all like this. It had been a long time since he thought someone else felt like that about him, too.

That reasoning wasn't good enough.

"Hey, Doctor Z," Chuck spoke up as soon as Radek entered the control room. "Could you take a look at this? If you're not busy…"

Radek nodded, relieved that his time wouldn't be wasted on this extracurricular excursion to the central tower. It wouldn't be wasted… not really. He glanced up toward Elizabeth's office. She was standing behind her desk, talking to Colonel Sheppard. She had that pleasant smile, uniquely hers, and the radiance of the mid-morning sun falling into her office from the windows across the 'gate room.

Radek went to Chuck's console. "I'm not busy," he said. "What is it?"

"I don't know…" Chuck sounded mildly concerned. "I've been getting some strange energy spikes since yesterday. Not a lot, and just here and there. At first, I thought I was just seeing things." He pulled up a screen tracking power consumption across the city, along with an overview of running systems and security features. "See, there."

Radek squinted at the screen as a couple of junctions on one of the far piers spiked into the red for half a second before falling back down to normal. "That's odd," he allowed.

"Wait here a few minutes and it'll happen again somewhere else," Chuck said. He looked up to watch Radek watching the screen.

"This is overall power consumption?" Radek didn't know why he asked the question, since he knew very well what he was looking at. But, on the other hand, this was a weird malfunction. "That's really odd."

"Isn't it?" Chuck leaned back in his chair and watched another junction in a completely unrelated part of the city jump.

It was much easier to focus on the blaring red at intervals… But Radek was willing to bet the problem had more to do with the sudden power drop off at adjacent nodes. In other words, for split seconds at random, some of Atlantis's systems would cut their power usage, shuffling along more power than usual to its neighbors and causing a spike.

"Yeah. Very odd." Radek straightened, tapping the back of Chuck's chair. "Thanks. I'll look into it."

By the time he'd finished talking to Chuck, Colonel Sheppard was coming out of Elizabeth's office. He looked none the worse for wear for everything he'd been through lately. In fact, he looked downright chipper.

As the colonel walked past them, he nodded back toward Elizabeth. "If you have anything you want to ask her for, today is apparently the day. She's in a really good mood."

Elizabeth had taken a seat and was hard at work on her tablet. Maybe. She could have been playing Solitaire. But Colonel Sheppard was right. Not that he thought she ever looked less than sunny, she did look a bit more pleased than usual.

"She is?" Radek asked.

Colonel Sheppard cast a look back. "Yeah. You'd think we didn't just discover a deranged cult of Wraith-worshippers a couple of weeks ago."

Knowing that, yeah, there wasn't a lot to be happy with. Still, Radek smiled, heading toward the office. "I'd better go see her, then." He didn't have any favors to ask, but he could come up with some… Maybe she'd be amenable to dinner.

Probably not.

He walked into her office, closing the door behind him. When he looked back to her desk, she was smiling at him. Even if he had known what he was going to say when he walked in, he would have forgotten it all.

"Hello, Radek," she said pleasantly. "I was hoping to see you this morning."

"I was hoping to see you, too." He approached her desk and put his tablet down. There was nothing on it, and she seemed to know that because she didn't look at it. "And I came up with a pretty good excuse for it, but I've forgotten what it was."

Elizabeth looked amused as she motioned to the chair for him to sit. "That's fine." The look on her face became slightly more serious. "We need to talk about last night."

"Last night…" Radek nodded tentatively. "Do you…?"

She wished it hadn't happened? She discovered she'd made a mistake. She had, of course. The universe realized it didn't treat Radek Zelenka this way.

"We need to be discreet," she said softly. "At least until we can figure out how to handle what follows."

Oh. Yes. Discreet. Thank god.

"Of course, yeah." He nodded enthusiastically. "Um, but what after that? It's not as if we can keep it secret forever."

For one thing, he didn't want to. He was fortunate he was mostly alone in the lab today, or else his uncharacteristic good mood after a meeting with Rodney about power conversion rates might have given everything away. Besides, he had Anna to think about. Last night he'd been saved by ZPMs, but what about next time? He had to tell her soon, assuming that this might last more than a few weeks. Assuming this was something real.

Radek was convinced it was, but Elizabeth might need time to figure it out. Elizabeth being Elizabeth, after all. He didn't understand her, but he was willing—maybe eager, actually—to make a good study of it. Show any social scientist how it was actually done.

"You're right," Elizabeth said. She sounded a little disappointed at that. Radek tried not to feel slightly insulted. "Part of me wants to get past the shock as soon as possible. I don't envy you Rodney's reaction." She smiled a little bit. Probably imagining Rodney's astonishment.

Radek hadn't considered what that might look like. It didn't much matter. The way Elizabeth felt about him proved that he wasn't always the backup, the understudy, the substitute that stepped in when the genuine article wasn't available. Sometimes he was worth consideration on his own merit, not comparative to Rodney or anybody else.

Even leaving off the selfish pride, happiness was enough. Was this happiness?

Whatever it was, it felt good.

Elizabeth sighed and explained, "Even though I'm not a military commander, I know I'll be open to ridicule from the IOA. I try to hold myself to high standards so they would never have anything to complain about."

"Maybe they don't," Radek said quietly. Radek had already decided that was a bad thing, even if Elizabeth hadn't. "You aren't military, and I'm not your direct subordinate, anyway."

"That's true. But I wouldn't be having this conversation with Rodney." She tried not to laugh.

Radek was more disturbed than he figured he had reason to be. "I'll leave the decision to you," Radek said. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. And I can handle Rodney. I've been handing Rodney for a year and a half."

Except Anna. What was he going to tell Anna?

Nothing. Not yet. Not until he was sure Elizabeth was sure. She was having second thoughts, and all because everyone on Atlantis answered to her in one way or another. All because everyone on Atlantis looked up to her and she chose to hold herself to impossibly standards because of it.

"Alright," Elizabeth nodded, like she agreed with that wholeheartedly. "You haven't come up with a legitimate reason to be here, then?" She smiled mischievously.

Radek wished he could find an excuse. Some excuse besides… "I suppose a kiss is out of the question."

She laughed, like that was the last thing she expected him to say. "Yes. For now."

"Then, no. I don't have a legitimate reason."

"What a shame." Elizabeth leaned back in her chair with her tablet. "Back to mission reviews."

Her fingers danced on the tablet's screen. Suddenly, they stopped and she adopted a serious expression, her brow furrowing lightly as she concentrated on her screen. She put one finger over her lips, her eyes sliding back and forth as she read.

She suddenly looked up when she realized he hadn't left yet. She smiled, but didn't say anything. Didn't even move.

He was still trying to come up with a reason to be here, a reason to stay longer. It was useless. He slid his tablet off the desk. "But I should tell Anna soon."

She nodded. "I suppose…"

She didn't sound absolutely convinced of that. Maybe she _was_ having second thoughts. Maybe he should wait until she was over that. It might turn out to be nothing. It might have been just one night.

But it wasn't. It wasn't nothing.

* * *

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _MissMeow1968 - Yes, I don't dwell on it too much after the initial thing that grows from it. I hope everyone will bear with me for that part. Thanks for reading and reviewing, once again!_

* * *

 _Next time: Why does he keep walking into things like this?_


	85. Of Course He Did

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna's playing around with a thing that looks like a ZPM since Iskaan gave her a necklace (in chapter 68) and she went with him to get one of her own (in chapters 75 and 76). Radek's got a problem of his own to sort out (since chapter 83). Or maybe that's not really a problem. Hard to tell with these things._

* * *

 **Chapter 85. Of Course He Did.**

He ran out of colorful things to call the crystal panel before it finally got back at him. "Do prdele— _what is wrong with you?_ " Radek shook his hand out as he pulled it back from the tight space in Puddle Jumper Six's crystal panel. How he'd managed to pinch his finger—and on what—was a mystery.

" _That bad?_ "

Radek glanced toward the Puddle Jumper door in slight embarrassment while he shook the sting from his finger. He really had to keep in mind that he was no longer the only one on Atlantis who understood the myriad vulgarities he threw at the nearest target when he was frustrated. The computers usually only suffered his wrath when McKay was away.

" _Probably not…_ " he mumbled. " _Sorry_."

" _I don't mind._ " Anna shrugged and walked into the Jumper, her hands in her blazer pockets. " _I'm not a baby, you know. Mom stopped censoring herself ages ago_."

Radek nodded. Probably for a few of their later arguments, too, now that he thought about it. He'd forgotten to feel bad about that. It was one thing to call the OS names… On the other hand, he'd noticed that she didn't really swear all that often herself. That was… weird. On the other hand, it wasn't as if vocabulary was genetic inheritance. It was social inheritance, and she'd only been with him for a few months.

Damn. A few months? No, check your calendar, Radek. Almost eight months, now.

That meant that the year anniversary of Eliška's death was fast approaching. He wasn't sure exactly when, but it was less than a month away, by now. He didn't know an appropriate response for that day, either for him or Anna.

For him, especially not now. Somehow he held some insane delusion that he'd go back home a different man. Miraculously, he'd convince Eliška of that, and they'd get back together. He wasn't held to some mistaken fantasy anymore. He couldn't be: it didn't exist.

He preferred thinking all the other women he'd dated in the interim weren't… "his type"? And Elizabeth was?

Radek cut off his thoughts and glanced at the crystal panel for a moment. Then he looked at Anna. " _What are you up to?_ "

Anna looked around the Puddle Jumper and picked up his tablet connected by long wires to the panel. " _Nothing,_ " she answered. " _Need help?_ "

Radek hummed in indecision for a moment. " _Yes. If it's not too boring, you can go outside and identify all the fried circuits for replacing._ " He pointed at the Ancient device that read power.

" _Real work is boring sometimes_." Anna looked at him as she picked it up.

Radek was about to say, yes, that was true, but he didn't get the chance immediately. Rodney's voice, sounding slightly panicked, blared in his ear. He might have winced from the grating reminder that there was probably something he wasn't doing right now that he should have been.

"Zelenka?"

Anna gave him an unappreciative frown as soon as he touched the radio in his ear.

"Yes, what is it, Rodney?"

"No time to explain," he prefaced. That usually meant they were in the sort of trouble that would bear hours of explanation, but under a sort of deadline that only offered a sentence: "Sheppard's stuck in an Ancient time-dilation field. We can't penetrate the field with scans to find out how much faster time is going for him or how to turn it off."

Radek caught his breath and nodded, like everything Rodney just said made sense. "Oh… alright…" He paused and looked down at the tablet in his hands, like something there might help him out. "So we need a way to scan inside the field?"

"Yes?" Rodney snapped. "I just said that, didn't I?"

Radek didn't answer that, since time was of the essence. "What configuration is it?"

"Well, gee, you know, I didn't think I had the time to set up a lab near it, seeing as how Sheppard is in the field right now," Rodney went on in exasperation. "Look, beyond the Jumper's scanners I didn't have any more complex scanning equipment than a camcorder, so we have no idea how much faster time is going for Sheppard."

Radek rolled his eyes. "I mean—Rodney, you haven't told me any useful information."

"What's there to tell?" McKay snapped. "Sheppard got himself stuck in a time dilation field."

"Of course, he did," Radek muttered. "I'll meet you in the lab."

"Yeah, yeah, soon. Did I mention Sheppard is in the field?"

Radek decided to just ignore that, but pick up his pace anyway. He tapped the radio off, jumped back down from his step stool, and looked at Anna. " _Sheppard is stuck in another time, apparently. So, I have to go help Rodney come up with something clever._ "

" _Like time travel?_ " She smiled, as if it were a joke. Ah, innocence. " _I didn't know we could do that_."

" _Um…_ " Radek didn't know really how time travel could be accomplished consistently, if it could. Not currently, anyway, so he just said, " _No. Not really. He's just in another field of time, which means we have to hurry here. Days could be passing for him while minutes do here._ "

The joking look disappeared. " _Oh. I'll… stay here?_ " She looked at the Ancient device she held. " _Good luck_."

Radek was already headed out of the Jumper Bay. He felt bad walking away in the middle of her sentence, but time was of the essence. Radek thought hard about all the different ways a _time dilation field_ could possibly be arranged. Obviously, it was just lying out in the middle of nowhere, and Sheppard must have accidentally stumbled inside. Radek had a hard time believing that was the sort of thing someone did on purpose. The field would have to expand over a reasonable distance in order to make living inside tenable. Which meant, it probably included a good amount of the lower atmosphere above, too.

Rodney would have scanned beyond the field's horizon if he could have. He didn't. So he couldn't. They needed to break through it. While staying outside of it.

Radek walked into Rodney's lab. "I have an idea."

Rodney glanced up, looking surprised. "You do?"

"It's a miracle, considering I have no idea what it looks like." Radek paused, and held his hands out like he was just shoving his idea at Rodney. "A descent probe." It was the best he could come up with until Rodney gave him more information.

"A descent probe…"

"Yes, like we use for—"

"Gas giants." Rodney stood up, gathering the equipment he'd piled on his desk in his arms. "Yeah, yeah, okay, go get one on the Jumper. Right now." Rodney ran out of the lab.

He didn't even get time to object that he was going to have a hell of a time getting the probe into the launch compartment by himself. Maybe he'd grab a couple of techs on his way. He'd just never seen Rodney run like that… Never seen Rodney just accept one of his ideas without a well-placed insult, either.

Radek decided he'd better run, too.

#

" _Anna, good, you're still here._ "

Anna leaned around the Jumper's drive pod, busily scanning each crystal diversion and circuit in there to see which ones were blown. Or, rather, to see which ones were still working. It was a much lower number to keep count of the ones that were working, so she flagged those with green, instead of the ruined ones with red.

In front of Radek, on an enormous cart, was a metallic gray thing, shaped a little bit like an egg. He struggled with the cart for a second to direct it over to Jumper Two. Anna put down her equipment and went to help.

" _I need to load this in the launch compartment, but everybody else is busy_."

" _The launch compartment?_ "

Radek nodded, like she somehow knew exactly where that was. He pulled his cart up alongside the Jumper and looked at her for a second. " _Could you go open the drive pods, please? It will be faster than if I use the panel_."

Anna darted inside. As soon as she landed in the pilot's seat, the console before her lit up obediently. Trying not to panic and accidentally lift off or something, Anna focused on the opposite Jumper Bay wall and thought about sliding the drive pods out of their nest in the Jumper's sides.

She must have succeeded, because she heard Radek shouting to her a second later to come out and help with the drones.

A Puddle Jumper was really compact. Anna hadn't realized until she helped Radek pull the yellow contraptions from their launch compartment, laying them one aside another on the bottom of Radek's cart. She knew there were still more of these things under the floor of the main part of the Jumper, occupying the whole bottom of the Jumper except where additional computer systems took up space, along with the mechanism to slide the drive pods in and out of the Jumper.

Anna held the last drone in her hand for a second. " _These really look like squid._ "

Too busy with the probe to give anything more than a smile, Radek looked at the size difference between the Jumper's squid-launchers and the probe.

" _How the hell is this going to work?_ " Radek muttered.

Stepping up next to Radek, they both looked at the drive pod and the launch mechanism.

While they looked, techs spilled into the Jumper Bay toting all sorts of supplies in crates and bags. They all rushed around the back of the Puddle Jumper and started loading all their things, adding a new sense of urgency to their work with the probe.

Anna had no good ideas, but she didn't say anything in case it drew Radek off his train of thought. She approached the drive pod carefully, and opened one of the side panels. Looking at the probe, and back again, she couldn't figure out how that huge thing was going to fit in here.

" _Aha._ " Radek brushed her aside and started to work.

Anna watched, only feeling a little like deadweight on Radek's project. Finally, he stepped aside and pointed at the launch mechanism, rigged to a space just wide enough to hold the probe. " _Think it will work?_ "

Anna didn't know why he was asking her, but she looked anyway. Shrugged. " _Probably. Doesn't look like it will be all that secure, though_."

" _No, it doesn't…_ " Radek frowned at it and then shrugged. " _We don't have time. Help me with this._ "

The probe wedged into the open spot with little difficulty. A couple of the techs came to their assistance as soon as they'd finished loading all of their things in the Jumper.

Radek finished out the job by stepping back next to Anna and looking at their handy work for half a second. He squeezed her shoulder. " _Good work. Thank you_."

She smiled at him, but he was already moving away to his next task.

Anna wandered off to Puddle Jumper Six, but was too distracted watching Doctor McKay, Doctor Beckett, and Doctor Weir load themselves in the Puddle Jumper. If anyone noticed her watching them, they said nothing. The Jumper just as soon descended through the hole in the floor to the 'gate room.

Anna dashed over to the opening to look down before it closed, jumping out onto one of the wedges spinning to close the hole. The floor of the 'gate room below was mostly obscured by the Puddle Jumper until it disappeared into the Stargate. Then the floor closed all the way, leaving Anna kneeling in the middle of the Jumper Bay, alone since everyone had left.

If this was like all other times that Sheppard got himself into trouble, it was going to be a long day.

Anna closed up Puddle Jumper Six, since it seemed like everyone else had forgotten about it, and Anna had done more than half of the circuits and crystals inside, she figured she'd done a good chuck of work for somebody. It was almost lunch time, anyway.

That meant that Sheppard had probably been gone for three or four hours already.

Without knowing what the ratio was, Anna couldn't guess at how long Sheppard thought he'd been gone. Anna spent a good twenty minutes, wandering the halls and wondering how it would be if Sheppard was many years older, with virtually no time having passed in his native time-frame. Would he feel cheated? It wasn't as if he didn't get to live all that time, but he hadn't lived in the right time, so…?

Anna pulled out her tablet as she walked, and contemplated her geology results. As she suspected… the crystal was _sort of_ like a ZPM. It was possible that the Ancients only used the very best, most organized crystal structures to house their little subspace layers. She didn't know how many she wanted to collect to bring back in order to test that theory. Assuming she even found the room responsible for making ZPMs.

She found herself in the infirmary, mostly because it was a very easy place to end up. It was in a perfect location, almost as if all hallways sort of led there.

"Hey, Anna," Jennifer called from her position between two medicine shelves. She held a tablet in one hand, maybe taking inventory. "Do you need something?"

Anna shook her head and walked over to her. No harm in showing her the geology results. Odds were, Jennifer would have no idea what she was looking at, even if Anna gave her a picture of a ZPM and a schematic of the crystal-chip lab.

Jennifer squinted at the tablet. "Homework?"

"Sort of." Anna shrugged.

"That's a ZPM, isn't it?" Jennifer guessed.

Anna raised an eyebrow at the tablet, then at Jennifer. So, she was wrong. Wrong on both counts. Jennifer did know what a ZPM was, and maybe this crystal was closer to an actual ZPM than Anna thought.

"Does it look like one?"

"From what I remember." Jennifer smirked and arranged a line of pill bottles. "It's been a long time since I crammed on the required reading."

"They even make doctors learn this stuff?" Anna huffed. "Seems like a waste of time."

"It was a very brief overview. But I do remember the pictures," Jennifer said with a quick grin. She went back just as quickly to her pill arranging.

Anna looked at the picture. It was remarkably close to the molecular structure of a ZPM, wasn't it? But it wasn't close enough, probably. Artificial layers of subspace probably needed very specific rocks to live in.

That sounded so stupid, she was glad she wasn't talking out loud.

But she wouldn't know exactly what kind of rock she needed until she found the place to make the subspace layers. And she was sure it was around here somewhere. She didn't know where, but she was sure it was here.

"I hear there's some excitement offworld," Jennifer said conversationally a moment later.

Anna glanced up, nodded, and went back to her tablet. "Yeah. I think Colonel Sheppard is missing again."

Jennifer looked into the middle distance, not nearly as concerned as the situation warranted. "I'm not sure… but I feel like that happens often."

"Judging by the past month or so, it seems like it is." Anna couldn't help but giggle a little. She felt bad about it. It was a very serious situation, after all, but there wasn't anything that she could do about it. "At least Doctor McKay is here to fix it this time."

At least, that's how Anna hoped it worked out.

#

Elizabeth sat on the bench, waiting for him with her book in hand. The moon was not quite full, but reflecting bright off the chopping waves and catching on the green in her eyes.

"Good evening," he said. Or maybe it was morning. It was one o'clock, so…

"Dobrý večer."

Radek couldn't help his smile. She obviously spent a lot of time making certain her pronunciation was right, or at least passable. It was always pretty near perfect. He bent to kiss her forehead before sitting next to her.

"How was your day?" he asked.

She looked amused, but he couldn't figure out why. Oh, maybe Sheppard. He had about six months' worth of hanging around today, if Radek understood the report correctly. After some quick mental arithmetic, Radek decided that the almost-seventeen hours of fretting today would approximate to almost six months.

Ah, Pegasus galaxy. Life is never boring.

"Oh, fine. I heard you had a good idea today?"

A good idea. How generous. "Didn't work though." He couldn't imagine that sort of thing broke the floor of what passed for a good idea next door to Rodney's lab.

"It was better than anything else we had at the time."

Radek didn't know the bar was set that low. But time was short. Given another few days, Sheppard would have died of old age. Time two hundred and fifty times the speed of normal was nothing to mess with.

"I'm glad I could come up with something, I guess," Radek said. "Even if it didn't help." All well as ended well, anyway. "Long day, though."

Elizabeth sighed. "Rodney is exhausted."

"Twenty-four hour works days aren't easy on anyone." Radek was fairly tired, too, but he tried not to show it. He was sick of saving and worrying over Sheppard's team. Sometimes it seemed like every time he turned around there was an emergency involving them. "Rodney may just sleep all day tomorrow." He had the feeling he involuntarily brightened with this statement.

Elizabeth smiled. "I might, too. I couldn't have planned my day off any better."

Radek chuckled. "I think a lot of people would need a day off after Sheppard being mostly missing for seventeen hours."

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow at him. "Was it really that long?"

Radek nodded. More or less. "That long."

Then, silence. Radek worried when this happened, when neither of them said anything. He personally preferred silence many times, but right now it was an ominous sign. Maybe they'd reached the end of their conversation. Maybe they'd exhausted all their mutual areas of interest. This was it, the end of this dream. Radek was just not an interesting person to talk to, because who cared about what happened to light in a vacuum?

Elizabeth glanced at him. "I was thinking of some tea. Would it be okay if we went to the mess hall?"

Radek nodded, even though it was a little late for coffee. The only time he tolerated tea of any kind was during illness. Maybe he would indulge in a cookie or a bunch of grapes. It had been a while since his days of midnight snacking.

They walked through the hallways in quiet, Radek's mind racing with subjects to speak on.

They parted ways in the mess hall, Elizabeth to prepare her tea and Radek to browse the snack options. They came back together, and fortunately Elizabeth must have been thinking of the same thing.

She had something to say about some offworld trading partners, the acquisition of Pegasus-grown sugar and potatoes and some sort of fruit that was like a cherry but with incredible nutritional value. Since transportation from the plantations to the 'gate was part of her concern, Radek offered a few suggestions about optimizing the space in the back of a Puddle Jumper.

Then he wondered if he said something wrong, because Elizabeth sighed. "But I'm avoiding the real issue."

Oh, a "real issue." Radek braced himself.

"It's not really slavery," Elizabeth prefaced. "Well, if you really step back, I guess… what is slavery?"

Was that a real question? She looked sincere, but Radek had no idea how to answer. "I guess, um…" Radek paused a long time to think. It seemed like a simple enough definition, except now that he was asked to put words to it.

"It's a question I never thought I'd have to answer, either," Elizabeth said.

Radek hummed contemplatively, partially to hold back a chuckle. His training was in _physics_ and she thought she'd never wonder what slavery was? Social constructs weren't even neighboring Radek's usual sphere of thought. Still, he nodded sympathetically. He supposed he'd never thought he'd have to ask the question of how to measure two sides of a temporal differential, either, but then today happened.

"This society… their leaders went out of their way to distinguish that they do not own their workers. They provide them with protection from the Wraith… and that's all they provide."

"Are conditions very bad?" Radek wasn't sure why, but it seemed like an important thing to know. He'd read books about modern utopias in which the populace had no choice and no freedom, but had everything they could ever want or need. Of course, one man's view of utopia could be tantamount to another man's hell. This was wholly unfamiliar mental territory. He also wondered what a well-traveled woman like Elizabeth thought _bad conditions_ were.

Radek supposed he'd term _bad conditions_ as _crushing hopelessness_ … He wondered if he would have preferred physical bad conditions—breathing in carcinogens, eating food that led to heart disease—to bad psychological conditions. He always thought that was what killed his father in the end... Nothing would ever get better for him, so perhaps it was easier to give up at the first convenient illness. It hadn't been conscious, though, and that was probably the worst thing... to think it would be better to die, but not realize it?

Radek could see how _crushing hopelessness_ was a mode of existence in the Pegasus galaxy, though. There would always be Wraith. Finding a place where there were none would be a suitable definition of _better_.

"Oh…" Elizabeth shrugged, her eyes tracing along the edge of their table. "I don't know. It looked fine to me, but you know they only show outsiders the best their society has to offer."

Radek smirked, remembering similar stories told in modern days of visitors to places like East Berlin, Prague, Moscow… those stories were decades old by now, but some days it seemed like only yesterday. Some days it seemed nothing in the world had changed at all. Old problems moved, grew up, and had children. Eyes were easy to deceive.

"So they showed us a housing district, near the 'gate. We spoke to some of their workers, who were very enthusiastic about how great their lives were. They have food and space and they are free from the Wraith. And, really, what else could you want?"

Radek couldn't tell if she was being serious about the question or not. It sounded like a reasonable deal to him, though, not that he would ever want to be a day laborer. But it beat the alternative.

"As far as I can tell, they all have access to the Stargate, but… it's guarded. Against the Wraith, they say, but isn't that what they all say?" Elizabeth looked at him pointedly. "The guards are for the citizens' protection, but the guns are usually pointed in, not out."

"I suppose," Radek allowed. "But the people on Earth do not have access to the Stargate, either." He wasn't sure what that had to do with anything. He wouldn't call the whole of Earth slaves. Some directed their own lives, for better or worse. Some didn't. There wasn't anything Radek could do about any of it.

But they were all scurrying about for want of material wealth, oblivious to the vast mystery less than 500 kilometers above their heads. Held to ideals that may not have been theirs, kept in the dark when the sunlight was so close. Wasn't that a sort of slavery? An unknowing slavery, maybe, and only to themselves.

He hated philosophy.

Elizabeth seemed to take his comment about Earth's Stargate to heart. She thought about that for a while.

"I'm not saying that Stargate access… or, lack of access, I guess, is what makes slavery," he said. "Slavery is being owned, yes? But this is difficult to differentiate in a society where Humans are raised like cattle. They may want to go somewhere else, but where do they have to go?"

"Freedom without opportunity isn't freedom at all?" Elizabeth said with a smile.

Good, maybe he sounded intelligent. But he wasn't sure he liked his supposed definition. He wasn't even sure he liked "freedom," whatever it was, all that much. It depended too much on what the free did with it.

He never had the time or inclination to think about it. One man's hell was another's utopia. "I guess."

They sat in silence for a while as Radek contemplated his contribution to the conversation, if he contributed at all. It might have been a selfish thought, but he had to consider this now or never again: could he talk to Elizabeth about things like this for more than a couple of weeks?

He thought about it while he picked a grape from the bunch and the possibility that Atlantis would soon be making its own potato chips. Maybe Atlantis had a chip-room. Not a crystal-chip room like the one Rodney discovered… if that was what it was. Radek had his doubts. But maybe Atlantis had a deep-fat-fryer-chip-room. He looked up when he realized he couldn't really follow his own train of thought at two in the morning.

As soon as Elizabeth's tea had emptied, Radek suggested a walk through the lower levels of the Central Tower, the little-touched labs that were once important to some Ancient some time ago. Radek had no idea what most of them did, but he answered Elizabeth's scattered questions as best as he could. He usually ended up running off on some tangent about some marvelous or particularly weird piece of technology they found inside.

Before he knew it, they were back on Elizabeth's topic again, and he wasn't sure how they got there.

"There isn't anything else I can do about it, anyway," Elizabeth said suddenly as they entered a transporter.

Radek didn't know where they were going when Elizabeth touched the map on the wall and the doors swept open again.

"Even if Atlantis explicitly doesn't trade with these people on the sole basis of their treatment of their workers, they will continue to operate in the same way they always have."

"That's true."

Elizabeth shot a look of disbelief at him, but she should have known by now that he was pragmatic enough to be heartless sometimes. All of them were, after all. They left planets to Wraith culling on a regular basis on the simple statement of fact that there was nothing they could do about it. Elizabeth recognized the importance of practicality… but she was the heart of Atlantis. Sometimes it seemed like she was its only heart, the only one concerned with the good of people.

He shrugged. "If it will make no difference, then we do what we can. No need to dictate how others treat their property. If it is property."

She heaved a sigh. "I'm not trying to dictate, it's just…" Elizabeth looked at him helplessly. Maybe that was the effect he hoped to have. "It's the principle of the thing."

"I know. And so do you." Radek hesitated, realizing where they were standing outside Elizabeth's quarters. So, that was the end of the night. On the one hand, he was sad, but… on the other hand, _thank goodness_. He'd run out of things to say on the subject. And he was exhausted. "I think you just needed to hear yourself say it."

She smiled a little and glanced around the empty hallway. "Maybe," she said softly. She looked around, and opened the door with a wave of her hand. "Would you like to come in?"

Radek peered into the dark of Elizabeth's quarters, his voice catching on his tongue for a moment. So much for sounding intelligent…

* * *

 _A/N:_ _All that to say, I really wanted to do this whole episode in one chapter. Because no one would know what it is to have six months pass in seventeen hours. And also...? I have no idea what I'm doing. I just ramble sometimes._

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _Erikstrulove- Hello, and thanks for the review! I'm glad to hear that you've been enjoying it enough to stick around for a while._

* * *

 _Next time: Would you like some exposition because, daaaang, this next chapter though… Sorry._


	86. You Have One

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek has a thing, I guess (since chapter 83, anyway)? And Anna's playing around with a crazy idea about DIY ZPMS._

* * *

 **Chapter 86. You Have One.**

Meetings always took forever. Rodney seemed to view them as his one chance in the day to make sure he doled out his quota of insults to everyone, just in case he didn't see them for the rest of the day. Radek managed to avoid most of that simply by being quiet and not disagreeing with anything that Rodney had to say.

Radek didn't know why anybody ever tried to reason with Rodney to give them a different assignment than the one they'd been given. So what if Paul was claustrophobic? Somebody had to map and check the maintenance conduits beneath the central tower. Rodney said that somebody was Paul. Radek was sure they all realized sometime last year that what Rodney said was the essential rule of law around here. He stopped arguing about it a long time ago. The only good thing to hope for after being given a terrible assignment was that the meeting be cut short.

Radek only gave about a quarter of his attention to the assignments that Rodney rattled off one at a time to the other scientists. Mostly boring housekeeping things. Something about lighting in the lower levels of the control tower… whatever.

Jumper Six was about halfway to full repair. The first half was always the most tedious and difficult. Anna had been a big help, though, flagging the ruptured pathways for him to repair or replace. He figured her couple of hours working on the drive pod while he was busy with Sheppard's time differential problem had saved him comparable time. The knowledge that he wouldn't have to do that bit of work on the Jumper probably saved him from putting it off for several days. He even ended up being a day ahead of schedule.

Rodney didn't seem all that impressed when Radek relayed that information, though.

"And that leaves us with M7G-677 with Major Ivanov's team for Zelenka next Thursday."

Radek should have paid attention. M7G-677? Why? When? How long? "Rodney," he said as everyone cleared out at Rodney's behest.

Rodney gave him half a hum to continue without saying anything.

"Rodney, I can't go to M7G."

"Why, you allergic to kids or something?" Rodney paused, then gave him a glare. "You have one."

What was Radek supposed to say to that? He had limited experience with children: his own daughter, and his sister's son. Josef was a terror, and besides…

It was entirely not the point. If he had to go offworld next Thursday… "Next Thursday?"

"Yeah," Rodney said, and then held up a hand to halt any further objections. "Look, I've already handed out all the other assignments. And it has to be Thursday; Thursday is the day Major Ivanov is going to M7G. You might be a member of an offword recon team, but you still need escorts to go offworld."

"Thursday is the fourteenth…"

"Um. Yes."

Rodney walked away to his computer and started tapping.

Weighing the consequences, Radek didn't know whether to tell Rodney exactly why he didn't want to leave Atlantis on the fourteenth of April. In all likelihood, Rodney wouldn't care the slightest. Which meant that telling Rodney wouldn't make a bit of difference.

"Rodney."

"Zelenka." Rodney scooped up a tablet, a few wires, and assorted other gadgets as he walked toward the door. "Look, if you'd said something sooner, I could have kept you off M7G. But you didn't. Now, I've got a meeting with Elizabeth, training with Ronon, and I have to eat first because my blood sugar is already way off…"

Rodney walked down the hall, and Radek couldn't hear his words even though his voice really carried.

Anna would be fine, wouldn't she?

It was the anniversary of her mother's death.

Yeah. Right. Radek wanted to keep himself busy that day, regardless of whether he was sent offworld on a mission or not. Being sent offworld was not to plan, if only for Anna's sake. He should be there for her? He couldn't just skip out on the city on the day Anna would probably need somebody to talk to. Or maybe not to talk to. Someone to just be there.

And to think, earlier this morning the only thing he was concerned about was how to tell Anna about his relationship with Elizabeth. He knew he'd let it go too far already, and now it was getting ridiculous. He sensed it would be a bad move to tell Anna without Elizabeth's permission. It was unlikely that Anna would spread the information around, but… that wasn't really the point, was it?

Radek realized he needed a meeting with Elizabeth, too.

He touched the radio in his ear and said, in his most professional tone, "Doctor Zelenka to Doctor Weir."

She answered almost immediately, also sounding very professional. "Yes, Doctor Zelenka." He was about to speak when she ordered him to wait. "I'm sorry, hold on just a second."

He listened to Elizabeth berate Rodney to wait for just a moment.

Rodney responded with the complaint that Radek was probably just trying to waste his time because Radek _knew_ Rodney would be talking to her right now—and what the hell did he want to talk to Elizabeth about anyway?

Wouldn't Rodney like to know…?

"I'm sorry, Doctor, what is it?" Elizabeth asked when Rodney stopped talking.

"It isn't urgent, but I have something in the lab I think you'd like to see," he said. Miraculously, it wasn't a lie, either. Not exactly. "It's some information on that machine accompanying the texts on ascension."

"Oh." Elizabeth sounded pleased, and Radek could almost see her nod in her peculiar way when she was interested or impressed. The way her eyebrows would lift just a little. She'd tilt her head slightly and look out the corner of her eyes. "Thank you. I will be interested to see that. In a… ah, I'm not sure. A few hours?"

"It's no rush," Radek said quietly. Though he was beginning to feel as though it were.

Elizabeth said something equally obligatory, and the radio between them snapped off.

Radek went to his lab and sank into the chair. He turned the framed photo of Anna toward him and said, " _I have good news, dear… The new menu has trout on Thursdays. Space trout._ " He hesitated.

He couldn't even tell Anna's photograph that he was involved in a romantic relationship and—this was ridiculous. He was an adult.

No guesses as to Anna's reaction presented themselves. He had no idea what she would think of it. If she would think of it.

" _Also,_ " he continued to the photo. Anna wasn't even looking directly at the camera when the picture was taken. And the picture was taken maybe a year or two ago. Obviously in Prague. Radek figured he'd know those streets anywhere, no matter how long it had been since he'd seen them. He picked up the frame and said, " _Also, I don't know, what are you supposed to tell your daughter when you are dating?_ "

He was talking to inanimate objects again. Great. At least his conversations with Puddle Jumpers seemed… reasonable. " _Would you even care?_ "

She was a teenager… she probably wouldn't want to know. Radek tried to imagine what he would have thought if his parents had divorced and then started dating when he was a teenager. He didn't even get that far. There were too many _if_ s in his scenario to process. He couldn't imagine anyone but his mother putting up with his father. Even though he'd watched his mother go through the grieving process after his father died, he didn't know if she ever saw anybody else. That was quite different, anyway… Radek was an adult then and…

He was overthinking it and decided just to abandon the whole track before it got disturbing.

It was possible Anna already suspected something. After all, some nights he wouldn't return until late. And if she looked for him, she wouldn't find him in the lab. Between Elizabeth, Anna, and all the time between his lab and Rodney's and the Jumper Bay… it was unsustainable.

That had nothing to do with Anna. Elizabeth had to choose when she was comfortable with strange looks from everyone on Atlantis. Elizabeth wasn't comfortable with everyone knowing that she was comfortable with him. Shouldn't that be a bit insulting?

Well, maybe.

Elizabeth was a very reserved person. He could certainly see her put extreme separation between her personal and professional lives on Earth. Simple on a planet of six-and-a-half billion people. Nobody cared what one of those six-and-a-half billion people were doing with their spare time. Or even what two of them were doing.

Atlantis was unlike that in every way.

As much as he understood her hesitancy, he couldn't help but be annoyed. They were both adults and professionals… and Elizabeth lived in a world of secrets kept, cards played close. Radek's world revolved around discovery of secrets to test and share with everyone just as soon as he could support them.

There really was a fundamental philosophical disconnect between their two worlds, wasn't there?

Maybe he should just break it off now. It would be easier for everyone.

No, no, no, don't do that.

Couldn't do that.

This was infuriating.

Radek sighed and decided just to wait. He didn't have to worry about this right now. Better to get back to work. Just work.

Radek put the picture back on the desk. He felt the slightest bit guilty whenever he looked at it. Turning it away, he turned back to the open file on his screen.

Just work.

#

"Anna?"

Anna snapped up from her homework the moment she heard her name. Much closer than she expected, like Elizabeth had crept up on her on purpose. Anna pressed her glasses farther up her nose and said, "I'm sorry, yes?"

Elizabeth stood across the table from her, a plastic plate in her hand as though she intended to eat elsewhere. That happened sometimes when people wanted to get back to whatever it was they were working on. "I didn't mean to interrupt. You must be concentrating very hard."

Anna looked at her tablet. Stupid ZPM again. "I'm mapping points of commonality between a, um…" Suddenly, she appreciated a little bit of how Rodney or Radek must feel sometimes. Explaining something interesting to people who hadn't the slightest clue what he was talking about. "Uh, yeah, you could say that," she finished weakly.

Elizabeth smiled. "Science, I guess?"

What a guess, Anna thought with a half-grin. Nothing else really held her attention. "Yeah. What else?" she wondered playfully.

Elizabeth looked from side to side briefly, as if looking for anyone watching her. She sat across from Anna, on the edge of her seat, almost like she was just waiting to stand and leave. "How many other subjects do you study that aren't science-related?" Elizabeth didn't seem to take to her playful tone.

Anna almost blurted out sociology, but thought better. Elizabeth made no distinction between social and natural sciences. Anna's mind raced. She was sure she did other things, but not necessarily with the thought of learning. "I've been reading lots of history from Doctor Jackson's papers. Colonel Sheppard, um… film studies?"

Elizabeth smirked. "Any art?"

"Art."

"Yes. You know, drawing. Sculpting. Anything like that?" Elizabeth didn't seem very enthused at Anna's silence. "I know it might not seem very important… but I think you'd be surprised what you can gain from learning to draw or paint."

Anna would be surprised if she could learn anything at all from art. "I don't… Nobody's offered to teach me art and… I haven't thought to ask anybody."

"Hm…" Elizabeth nodded a little. "It might be a good idea." It didn't really sound like a suggestion.

"Chuck draws…" Anna said.

"That would be fun, wouldn't it? To learn how to draw? And, you know, I think engineers have to draw a lot, don't they?"

Anna frowned, because she didn't know. "Flowcharts and maps, I guess."

"I'll talk to Chuck." Elizabeth rose again. "I'll talk to him today." She hadn't touched her food. Too busy.

Anna sighed and nodded. What else was she supposed to say? She couldn't very say she was too busy, could she? Then she'd be forced to tell her surprise before it was even ready to be a surprise. She hadn't found a ZPM-making room. She hadn't even decided if she'd found the correct crystal.

"Okay. Let me know…" Anna said.

"I will. See you later, Anna."

#

"I had an interesting conversation with Anna today."

Radek could have thought of a half dozen better ways for Elizabeth to open up a conversation when he walked in the door. But, well, it was her quarters. She could talk about whatever she wanted. Even if it was his daughter. The daughter he wasn't exactly lying to at the moment, but also the one to which he wasn't exactly telling the truth, either.

"Did you?"

Radek glanced around the room as he shed his jacket. It was a single room, sort of like the one he used to occupy. His never looked quite this homey. Nor this anthropological. He didn't much care for the artifacts on the walls and decorating the desk and dresser. Athosian, Ancient, maybe Egyptian or ancient Norse or Native American. Radek had no idea what any of this stuff was. Not his purview.

Elizabeth took a few steps toward the little sitting area she had arranged between her bed and the door. A loveseat, a bench, and a strange armless chair shaped like an hourglass. "I think it would be beneficial if she were to take a little bit of time to study things outside of math or science. Studying culture, like art…"

He didn't mean to cough as he sat on the loveseat's armrest. "I'm sorry, art?"

"It isn't a bad idea." Elizabeth looked a bit hurt, maybe exasperated. Maybe she'd already gotten the same sort of response from Anna.

"She can explore arts and literature if it interests her," Radek said.

"How is she supposed to know if it interests her if she never has to try it?"

Radek shook his head while Elizabeth moved around the room. She was giving him advise on Anna's education now? Was that how things worked? It wasn't as if Radek was neglecting to give her a good education. If there was one thing he was sure he was doing well, it was Anna's education.

"You know she has been playing the violin since she was three, yes?"

Elizabeth giggled and shrugged on her dark red silky robe instead of her Atlantis jacket. "Yes, okay, good point. But you have to admit her education could use a little rounding out."

He didn't have to admit anything of the sort. Anna was doing brilliantly with her studies here. She shouldn't have to waste her time on extracurricular activities like that. He didn't say anything about it, since Elizabeth walked past him and put a glass in his hand before sitting in the chair across the Persian-style rug on her floor.

Wine for her, beer for him.

Arts for her, science for him?

Radek took a gulp before continuing his inquiry. Diplomacy was an art, wasn't it? No wonder he'd been unable to hold a marriage together. "What do you mean by that?"

"There's more to life than Rodney's science questions," Elizabeth said.

Radek sniffed in amused disdain. "You don't have to tell me that."

"Don't I?"

The next time he looked up at her, she was giving him that smirk he loved so much. That lopsided grin that put a squint in one eye and a glint in the other. He had to admit to some difficulty sitting on the opposite side of the room from her.

"Alright, I guess that's neither here nor there. Chuck can teach her how to draw the Stargate or something," Elizabeth said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

But Chuck was a good artist.

They sat in silence for a few seconds. In a way, it was to his benefit that she'd brought up Anna first. Radek found himself with precious little else to talk about these days… which was unusual for him. "Elizabeth…?"

She turned her eyes up to look at him directly. She didn't say anything except to hum a little in answer.

"I have to tell Anna about this soon, you know? Weeks, I mean—that's a long time to keep this from her."

Elizabeth nodded tentatively. "You're right. Of course, you're right." She fingered her wine glass with a sheepish smile. "I imagine you think this whole situation is silly."

Radek wanted to say no, but… yes. It was. It was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard of. At the same time… "I do understand your hesitation. People will talk." He shrugged as if that said just about everything. Elizabeth was a private person. She had a right to be that way if that was what she wanted. "But the more we try to keep it a secret, the more they will talk."

She sighed. "How true."

Yet another part of her that Radek didn't understand. Not completely. He imagined there were parts of her being, her personality, that not even she knew. Elizabeth was just that isolated. Radek wasn't like that. He wasn't one to disclose random trivia about himself to any doctor in the lab on a whim, but he didn't care what people knew about him. That was probably why everyone on Atlantis knew that he raced pigeons as a hobby.

Also, it was a bizarre hobby. Not even he could deny that.

"Elizabeth, if this is more trouble than it's worth…" He should have gone on, but his nerve wouldn't let him.

"That's not what this is about," Elizabeth said.

"Then what is it about?"

Elizabeth ran her finger around the rim of her glass. "The other members of the expedition. But not just them. There's the IOA, too. They are already questioning my judgement. Hell, Radek…" She paused to take more than what could be termed a sip of wine. "I question my own judgement."

"Then why don't we just call it off now?" Radek wondered. He swept his glasses off to rub the lenses on his sleeve, maybe just to keep from looking at her directly. "You know, say it was an idea worth exploring, and since we have?" He glanced up, hoping she would finish his sentence. She was too blurry to read, so he put his glasses back on.

"That was all you wanted?" Elizabeth asked quietly. She shifted in her chair uncomfortably.

He realized too late how bad that had sounded. "Oh, no; oh, no, no, no. Panebože, that is not l what I meant. Not at all." He set his beer on the small table between them and put his head in his hands instead. Radek couldn't imagine where he fell on the level of contemptible based on that suggestion. "You shouldn't feel cornered. It was—there is no obligation. That's all."

"I see…" Elizabeth didn't seem to know what to say to that.

And Radek didn't know quite how to dig himself out of that hole. So he didn't try.

Elizabeth took a small breath and put her wine glass down on the table next to his glass. "You know what it's like to make your work your whole life."

Radek nodded. "Too well." And now he couldn't help but think that he was rushing headlong in the other direction. The wrong direction.

"I love my work," she said. "And I've had very few loves beside my work. Sometimes I wonder if I was fooling myself into thinking I ever loved anyone quite as much. At least if I put that first, I could be assured that the only person I'd be hurting in the long run was myself. But it's not like that as leader of the expedition. And it's not like that in any relationship."

Radek nodded, slowly. He turned his eyes to the floor for a moment. He understood that, too. When he was young, he had no idea who he was or what he wanted. The gall of that child, thinking he could share a life he didn't understand. Thinking he could swear to love someone else more than anything else. Now that he was older, though, he recognized the benefit of the love, the time he'd been too selfish to give before.

It seemed simple at the time, but it turned out to be more complicated than he thought.

"I understand that." Their eyes met a moment later. "Every word, I understand."

"I guess we're more alike than we give credit for," Elizabeth said with a small chuckle.

He smiled at the sound of her laugh. "I won't pretend that we are very similar in interests, but I do think that we are alike in other ways." It had been a long time since he'd concerned himself with the compatibility of minds.

Fleeting relationships years ago, just after the divorce, were short and shallow. It seemed unfair to call them relationships. He didn't bother himself with those kinds of things… nobody else seemed bothered with them, either. But, then, he'd only seen physicists, engineers, and mathematicians before. And, to the best of Radek's knowledge at the time, none of those people would meet Anna until she was an adult. Maybe not even then…

"I think you know more than I do why it is important for me to be honest with Anna."

"Yes, it is important." Elizabeth sighed like she wasn't too convinced.

"Very important."

She stood and picked up her wine glass. She emptied it and deposited it on the counter. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm awfully selfish about this." She spun toward him, still steps away.

Radek didn't look at her. "Selfish." He shook his head, repeating her words in a laughing whisper. If only she knew. If he was to believe his years of analyzing what went wrong before, he could only arrive at that conclusion for himself. He liked to think people could change, though. Even if it took ten years. "No. Not really. Not really, at all."

* * *

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _PegasusPilot- Glad to see you again! I'm glad you're liking the Radek/Elizabeth angle. It's certainly been a bit of a thing for me. Beyond that, it's been fun to start putting some further relationship building into motion for Anna, especially Rodney. I have to admit... he's a fun character. Very fun. See you next time!_

* * *

 _Next time: I knew it! I knew it!_


	87. Epiphany

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Since Elizabeth and Radek have been trying to keep their "together" a secret (since chapter 83), Radek knows this is an awful plan. Meanwhile, Anna is being forced to participate in art class! Poor girl._

* * *

 **Chapter 87. Epiphany.**

"No offence…" Anna sighed as she sat down next to Chuck. "But this is really stupid."

Chuck smiled and nodded. "I actually agree."

He started covering the more interesting aspects of his console with a bunch of sheets of paper. There were figures in various poses, most of them holding guns. There was an entire three pages covered exclusively in Stargates from multiple perspectives.

"Not that I mind teaching you the basics of drawing," Chuck said quickly. "But I view drawing as sort of a thing I do when I have nothing but time to waste. A hobby. But only when I can't pursue any other hobby." Chuck frowned at his notebook and then glanced sideways at Anna. "So basically, a waste of time. I spend a lot of time just looking at the Stargate. Wondering what's on the other side."

"We'll have that in common, then." Anna smiled and picked up his page of figure drawings.

"What you do…" Chuck said slowly, drawing a circle on his page. His level of concentration on something so simple was incredible. "Is draw the basic shapes of the thing you want to draw." He gave a contemplative glare at the Stargate for several seconds. "What do you want to draw?"

"Whatever Elizabeth will be satisfied with." Anna sighed. She started to try to copy one of Chuck's human figures. "So that I don't have to do this anymore."

"Alright. I think Doctor Weir would be happy with a drawing of a person?" Chuck looked at Nicholson.

Nicholson shrugged. "I have no idea about Doctor Weir anymore, to be completely honest with you." She leaned back in her chair for a moment, and then snapped up to look at Anna.

Anna wondered for a moment why Nicholson was looking at her, but she glanced away too quickly for her to ask immediately. She looked between Chuck and Nicholson. Chuck was too intent on his drawing to give much notice.

"What do you mean?" Anna asked tentatively.

"Oh, you know, she's… uh, kinda hard to read?" Chuck offered in a hurry.

Nicholson shook her head. "You aren't kidding."

"Really?" Chuck sighed, giving Nicholson a good unimpressed stare for half a second. The kind of look one gives when someone is being childish. Anna recognized it from her years in school and a hundred students' worth of sophomoric behavior.

Anna smiled. "What is it?"

"Oh, there's just rumors going around," Nicholson said with a shrug. "I don't suppose you know anything about them?"

"Oh, my god. Nicholson." Chuck slammed his pencil onto his page and glared hard.

Anna almost laughed at his reaction. Why was he so touchy about this rumor? Rumors weren't usually true, anyway. "No, what is it?" Anna couldn't believe that she would know anything about Elizabeth. "I mean, she just teaches me sociology and things like that. I don't know why I would know whether any rumor about her is true or not…"

"Well, if you don't know, I guess it isn't true," Nicholson pondered. She shrugged, and looked distinctly disappointed. "It's not just Elizabeth. It's your dad, too."

"Radek…" Anna leaned back in her chair. "And Elizabeth? Together?" Someone had to be playing a joke.

Chuck sighed, shook his head, and looked at Anna. "It's really none of our business. You don't have to say anything. Nicholson is just bored."

"It's true." Nicholson sighed. "But all we do is look at the Stargate. Can you blame me?"

"I haven't heard anything about it," Anna mumbled.

"See?" Nicholson looked at Chuck. "I told you. Impossible."

Chuck didn't respond. He just watched Anna for a few seconds before going back to his drawing. "I'm not sure if it's true, but that's what people have been saying."

"A lot," Nicholson added. "They've been saying it a lot."

Anna looked at Chuck, but he didn't seem to have anything useful to offer to the conversation.

He sighed and picked up his pencil. "And then…" Chuck went on, going back to his drawing, "you kind of connect the shapes with lines. See?" He showed her his drawing. It was another human. Holding a gun. He didn't seem to draw much else, but could Anna really blame him? That was pretty much all he saw, all day.

Anna sighed and shut her sketchpad. She was suddenly not in the mood to draw. Not that she was beforehand. "Why wouldn't he tell me that?"

Chuck stuck with drawing.

Nicholson, though, didn't seem to have anything better to do. "That's why it's probably not true."

"But why would someone just start that rumor unless there was something to it?" Anna wondered.

Chuck snorted in laughter and dropped his pencil. "Because they're bored out of their mind. Right, Nicholson?" He shot a glare at his compatriot 'gate technician.

"I didn't make it up." Nicholson held her hands up in innocence.

That wouldn't make any sense, anyway.

Why would someone make that up? Anna stood up and wandered out of the control room. "Um, thanks, Chuck. I'll be back later. I have things to do, though." She left in a hurry, trying to ignore Chuck's stunned look.

Now that she thought about it, she had seen him talking to Elizabeth a lot lately. She didn't think anything about it. Doctor McKay talked to Elizabeth a lot, too… But, then, the people who talked to her a lot called her Elizabeth. Radek called her _Doctor Weir_. Was that strange?

No, Radek called everyone their formal titles. Except Doctor McKay, but he hated Doctor McKay.

Anna turned into the nearest transporter and tried to keep her brain from going around in circles. She was asking for trouble. If something was going on, he would tell her. Wouldn't he tell her?

Why wouldn't he?

Anna could keep a secret if she had to. She would like to know if her father was in a serious relationship. She deserved to know that. Didn't she? It wasn't as if she would care one way or another… but she cared about not knowing.

Why did she care, again?

She should have known about it. She should have known about it before anyone else, but it apparently made rounds in the control tower, reaching the ears of all the 'gate technicians that Radek didn't even know. How could Nicholson know about this before Anna?

But it might not be true.

But if it was, why wouldn't he tell her first?

Anna liked Elizabeth enough. She'd never given any indication to the opposite, had she? She liked Elizabeth just fine, didn't like social sciences. Kind of like she liked physics, but didn't like Kavanagh. So it worked both ways.

Elizabeth was very nice. And pretty, too. She was maybe a little odd… she had strange mannerisms and liked to listen more than she liked to talk. Kind of like Radek, actually. Maybe they would enjoy one another's company. Anna had to admit, now that she was thinking about it, they seemed like a good match for friendship…

But she wasn't talking about friendship.

Did Radek _love_ Elizabeth?

Anna huffed and walked into the empty room, looking around. It was late on a Wednesday, which meant he was playing poker in Lorne's quarters with the team. Probably. Unless he was lying about that, too. It looked approximately the same as yesterday. Her tea cup from this morning sat, waiting to be washed, but otherwise the place was neat. Untouched.

How was anyone supposed to know what or who Radek loved? He never said anything. He tolerated Rodney and he loved his job. That was about the extent of his advertised emotional range. Anna knew enough to guess there had to be more to it, but, if no one ever knew, did it really matter?

If Anna loved someone with all her heart and never said a word… would it make a difference?

No. It wouldn't.

Anna sank down on the couch and tried to think. Tried to imagine a universe in which this was any of her business. Her mother only dated sparingly, and she always told Anna. Or… well, did she really? Anna never would have known if her mother didn't tell her. Her mother didn't have the circumstance of living in a city of hundreds—and that was a generous number. She could very well do what she pleased, and Anna would never know.

It wasn't really any of Anna's business… was it?

Probably not, but…

" _Why wouldn't he tell me?_ "

#

Reed sat down with his beer and picked up his cards. He put them back, face down with a grin as he slammed the cap off on the table. "I hope you're all ready to be smoked," he said. He glanced at Radek for a moment and then grinned at the rest of them. "Speaking of smoking," he said.

"Not again." Lorne rolled his eyes and took a drink of his beer. He nudged Radek and explained, "This is usually the part when Reed regales us with the stories of some—probably fictional—'smokin' hot' girl from his past."

"Nope." Reed shook his head, a glint of mischief in his dark eyes. "Not past, not fictional, and not mine."

"What, did Biro and Lawson finally hook up?" Coughlin asked.

Reed chuckled and drank some beer. "Good guess. But, no. You'll never guess this so I'll just tell you. Our illustrious leader, Doctor Elizabeth Weir."

Radek immediately glanced back down at his cards, and hoped no one saw the color on his face.

Fortunately for him, Lorne wasn't hearing any of it, holding his hands up to stop that nonsense immediately. "Hang on, hang on." He drew the line at gossip about Elizabeth. Good thing. She was a respectable woman who deserved more than to be the subject of drunk card-table gossip.

"No way," Coughlin said, waving Reed off like the lunatic he was. "She's ice. Come up with something more believable. Who the hell would she be with, anyway? Even Sheppard couldn't take down her defenses—the guy has game when he wants it, and, believe me, he wants it."

Radek's eyebrows involuntarily went up. _Even_ Sheppard? Wait—he what?

"Well, who wouldn't?" Reed chuckled.

"Guys," Lorne scolded. "This is the leader of Atlantis we're talking about."

"Alright, alright." Reed held his hands up as though in defeat for half a second. Then he went on. "But may I take this moment to direct you to the good doctor's knowing blush?" Reed asked, leaned his elbow on one knee, and looked directly at Radek.

The table fell deathly silent as all eyes, even Lorne's, turned. Radek looked at each of them, one after another. He wasn't getting out of this one. And if Reed knew that meant all of Atlantis wasn't far behind.

He gave it his best shot and tried to sound flabbergasted. "Me? We've met, right?"

Still, Reed shook his head and clicked his tongue. He took a swig of his beer. "Precious."

"Are you kidding me?" Coughlin looked at Radek with a more appraising eye.

Even Lorne seemed utterly speechless and simply stared for a good fifteen seconds.

"Our very own Radar^?" Coughlin laughed. "Say it ain't so." He slapped Radek on the shoulder as if some sort of congratulations were in order. "Tell us your secrets."

"Proboha…" he grumbled. "Vy jste děti." * It didn't matter, anyway. He couldn't explain it, even if he wanted to. "Come on," Radek sighed, pulling his stack of chips in front of him. "Let's hope your poker game is better than your stories."

Reed laughed and shrugged. "Fine. But the truth will come out eventually."

"It will," Radek agreed. "And won't you be disappointed when it does?"

None of them believed it. At least, he hoped not.

Radek wasn't pleased with his hand, and it was obvious from the events of the past two minutes he shouldn't attempt a bluff. Then again, maybe it wouldn't be unreasonable of them to assume he had it. Because, apparently, he did. This experience only showed he couldn't necessarily bluff his way out of a good hand. But who would want to?

"Wait a second, so it's true?" Coughlin asked two rounds into the game. "You and Doctor Weir are actually—"

"Leave it alone, Coughlin," Lorne snapped and raised him two.

"You can't blame me for wondering," Coughlin muttered.

"Wondering, no," Lorne said.

Coughlin watched his cards and with a sigh. "I don't understand the universe anymore. First, Radar's going out with the leader of the Atlantis expedition, and then I have to fold." He set his little stack face down in front of him and crossed his arms.

"That happens every game, man." Reed counted out his chips for the pot.

"But that's not my fault," Radek said, tossing the requisite chips in the center.

Coughlin scoffed. "Which one?"

Radek laughed. "Neither." He never wished more than now that he was somewhere else. It would be better to have dinner with Elizabeth. Or Anna, since that wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Or even Rodney, though that might raise a few more than even dinner with Elizabeth.

"Just give us one word. Confirm or deny." Reed watched Lorne study his cards as he spoke.

Lorne looked between Reed and Coughlin like he was severely disappointed. "What Doctor Weir and… Zelenka do in their free time isn't any of our business." It was obviously a difficult thing for Lorne to even think about… Radek figured he should probably feel insulted.

Lorne believed it, somehow. Reed would believe it simply for the novelty, tell the story just for fun. It wouldn't just go away. They'd been careful, but there wasn't much they could do. Atlantis was like a small town. Interesting news traveled faster than sound, sometimes.

"Sorry, Doc," Lorne mumbled.

There was nothing he could possibly do about it. He wasn't stopping the rumor here. Maybe the only thing he could do was stop it from getting bigger. If it was going to expand beyond the realm of reality, Reed would be the one to do it. It was nobody's business…

But that made it everyone's business.

Reed had to know the truth.

Radek sighed. "It was bound to get out sooner or later."

He looked up to witness the stunned shock halting all motion at the table. For a split second, no one even breathed. Then Reed burst out laughing. Coughlin shut his eyes and hid his face as he groaned that Radek had to be kidding them. He asked it if was April Fools. Lorne was amused by their reactions, or else Radek's confirmation of the impossible.

"Wait, wait," Radek said over the commotion. Damage control. That was all he could hope for right now. "Please, I don't want to get a memo tomorrow that—I don't know." He didn't want it getting around to Anna for one thing… not before he could tell her himself. He needed to do that. Now. "There are reasons why we kept it quiet."

"I'm sure." Reed laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. "And I swear, scout's honor, I will deny the truth on pain of death. No one will hear of this from me. I swear." He gasped for breath, but it didn't do much good because he was still laughing. He threw his stack of cards on the table. "Oh, god. I can't believe it."

Radek rolled his eyes and looked at Coughlin. Coughlin held his hands up innocently. "Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm still not sure I believe this shit."

"Your generosity never ceases to astound," Radek said sarcastically.

"Well, my silence is probably gonna cost you a few beers," Coughlin added.

Radek looked at his cards and decided he had it in him to maybe win this one. Reed was obviously out of the game. He could barely speak.

Radek turned to Lorne. "Should we continue?"

Lorne stacked his cards in his hand and placed them face down. Chuckling, he shook his head. "Nah. You win this one. Too rich for me, Doc."

* * *

 **Things**

* For god's sake. You're all children.

^Explanation of Radek's nickname "Radar" in chapter 69. tl;dr: Radar is a character in _M*A*S*H_. As Reed puts it, Radar has this sixth sense, hearing helicopters before they get there and whatnot, so it's ironic because Radek never sees anything coming. It's a compliment, though, because everybody loves Radar, right? Also, Coughlin points out, he's "awkward as hell and from a place no one ever heard of."

* * *

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _Adela- Thanks! Pleased you like it!_

* * *

 _A/N: Okay. This is where things start to go sideways, so if you'll please just bear with me for this next little bit, I swear we'll straighten things out._

* * *

 _Next time: You know, I saw this going a lot better in my head…_


	88. I Don't Care

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek learned the hard way that you can't keep a secret (since chapter 83) from everyone forever. But, you know, it couldn't get much worse (than chapter 87). If only Anna were not hanging around some bored 'gate technicians. Also, Radek needs to work out his schedule because it would be pretty awful if he had to go offworld on the anniversary of his ex-wife's death (as per chapter 86)._

* * *

 **Chapter 88. I Don't Care.**

The door slid open at eleven o'clock, which seemed pretty usual for a poker night. Anna stood when Radek walked in. She watched him take his jacket off and lay it over the nearest chair. He took a few steps before he realized he was being watched.

Radek paused and looked around, as if trying to decide what she was looking at. " _How are you?_ "

" _Fine._ "

He nodded slowly like he had no idea what was going on. Maybe he didn't have any idea what was going on. He was just that oblivious.

He seemed to sense something was wrong, though. " _Um, Anna…?_ "

" _Where were you tonight?_ " Anna asked before realizing she would have absolutely no way to tell if he was lying or not. She didn't want to think of herself as the kind of person that automatically assumed someone was lying to her… but he had been lying to her.

Radek came a few more steps into the room before answering with the predictable, " _Poker night._ " As he said his words, he glanced around the room as if checking for something to be there that wasn't there. " _Anna, I have something to tell you_."

Anna couldn't take it anymore. She found her hands clenching into fists. Shaking. " _Why didn't you tell me?_ "

Radek pursed his lips for just a moment.

" _Did you think I wouldn't notice?_ " Anna demanded before he could even start his thought. " _I mean, what did you think I was going to do if I knew?_ "

" _I wanted to tell you—I think. Are we talking about the same thing?_ "

Anna half-laughed at his baffled look. " _You wanted to tell me? What does that mean? Why does everyone know before me?_ "

" _Everyone? Hold on a second, no one should know. Who knows?_ "

" _Nicholson, for one._ "

" _Nicholson? Who is Nicholson?_ "

She was right. He had no idea who Nicholson was and somehow that random 'gate technician ended up knowing that Radek and Elizabeth were together before Anna did. And somehow he didn't think that was messed up. She pressed her eyes closed with her fingers and tried to push away her angry tears.

" _Anna_ ," Radek said quietly. " _Anna, I am not exactly sure what it is that Nicholson knows, but if… I think… I didn't want anybody else to know before you knew. Are we talking about me… and, um…?_ "

" _You and Elizabeth?_ " Anna asked. Her hands flew back down to her sides in fists again.

Radek sighed, his face contorting for half a second in frustration or anger or something like that. He cursed. " _I was going to tell you. Right now, just now as I came in—that's—I wanted to tell you last week._ "

" _So it has been going on for weeks?_ "

He didn't seem to know what to say about that.

Neither did Anna. Now she thought about it, she had no idea why this made her so angry. But it did. " _Did you think I was stupid?_ "

" _No, of course, I don't. Anna, that's ridiculous. I wanted to—_ "

" _I know, I know, you wanted to tell me. But why didn't you? Why does everyone else know first?_ "

" _They don't know. They shouldn't know. I don't know how they know. Not because I told them, that's for damned sure._ "

Anna tried to take a mental step back and look around. It made sense that word would get around without anybody having to say anything. Small places were like that. Middle and high school were like that. Anna could remember a few times word of one girl or another having a crush before that girl knew. Now that she thought about it, she could actually imagine Radek being in the same sort of unsuspecting position. Given the right time and place, _anybody_ could know that Radek was dating even before Radek knew.

Except Doctor McKay. Rodney would probably remain oblivious.

But he wasn't even answering the right question. Anna didn't really want to know why everyone else knew first. She was upset about that, sure… but why didn't he just tell her?

" _But… why didn't you tell me?_ " she asked again.

" _Would you believe me if I told you it was because I didn't know what to tell you?_ " Radek looked so sincere and baffled it was impossible to not believe him. Suddenly, he shrugged. " _That's part of it, anyway. I wanted to be sure it was something real, something that might last longer than a couple of weeks before I told you._ "

" _A couple of weeks…_ " Anna repeated quietly, feeling more and more stupid the more he talked. Now that she was thinking about it, she should have seen it. He had been coming back late. He wasn't in his lab sometimes when she thought he should be. He was happier than usual.

And why didn't she see it?

" _Stay on Atlantis long enough and you see that…_ " He hesitated. Sighed. " _Things don't last here._ "

" _What do you mean?_ "

He didn't explain himself for a while, maybe because what he said didn't make a lot of sense. He thought things didn't last here? How about on Earth? Top 100 song lists cycled by the week. Love lasted only as long as it took the ink to dry on a contract. People were dead and buried before anybody even bothered to notice.

Anna blinked at her tears and shook her head before he could put his words together. " _It doesn't matter_."

She spun to her room.

" _Anna, wait; it does matter._ "

She waved him and his words away. It really didn't, but she couldn't explain that to him. Not without bawling her eyes out, and she couldn't do that. Not right now, not right here. He objected again when she walked away, tried to argue when she said to leave her alone. Just leave her alone.

She slipped into her room and the door shut. She wondered for the briefest of moments what Radek wanted to say, but that didn't matter, either.

" _Things don't last here,_ " she whispered.

She knew that, and she didn't need to repeat Radek's words to figure that out. It was supposed to be some small comfort, but it wasn't. Some small comfort that in a few days she'd forget the stabbing emptiness leftover from last year. Someday she'd forget what it was like to hurt from her loss. Someday she'd forget what it was like to feel like nobody cared.

Because nobody cared. Nobody cared about any of that. Radek couldn't be bothered to tell her something important about himself that was happening right now? Why should he care about anything that happened before, and to someone he couldn't possibly love anymore?

Anna wasn't sure if she was thinking of herself or her mother. Radek didn't put up a fight to stay close to her. Radek didn't say one word to her in almost a decade. Radek didn't tell her. Radek didn't care.

Anna tried not to care, either.

" _Don't be dumb, Anna,_ " she scolded herself and sank onto the bed. Her tears came anyway, though she pushed them aside with her knuckles. " _Don't be dumb._ "

#

After about five minutes, Radek had run out of rude words to call himself. For good measure, he added, " _You are an idiot_ ," before dropping onto the couch.

What was he supposed to do now? It was very late and Elizabeth had gone to bed. But he wasn't going to call Elizabeth about this. No, that was stupid. Granted, it was partially her fault. She was better spoken than Radek was. Odds were that she could explain what happened better than Radek could. But Radek couldn't say he would have told Anna even without Elizabeth's objections. There would be that speck of dishonesty, the assurance that he never said what needed to be said at the right time. His timing was awful.

He didn't know how to tell her. Now he knew for sure: it was better to say something completely wrong than to say nothing at all. It was better to tell Anna himself than to let somebody named Nicholson do it for him.

Who was Nicholson?

Radek didn't care enough to look it up. He picked himself up off the couch and headed toward the door. Bound for the lab, probably. He had no idea where he was going. At this time of night, there might not be anybody there, except Rodney was running some tests on database function. Something like that. It was better to do things like this in the middle of the night.

Was it the middle of the night?

Not quite. But people kept early hours on Atlantis. Probably to allow for middle-of-the-night testing.

As Radek expected, Rodney was plugging away at his keyboard when he arrived. Rodney took Radek's offer to help with no small amount of confusion, but put him to work anyway. For the first time in his life… well, okay, maybe not the first time in his life. But for the first time in a long time, his work didn't take his worries away. It seemed to make them worse.

It just somehow seemed even more urgent that Radek be on Atlantis next Thursday. He put his hands out flat on his desk to try to ignore the tension that would have put them into fists. "Rodney," he said, and didn't wait too long for a response. Rodney didn't even look up. "I really can't go to M7G. Is there anybody at all who can go that isn't me?"

Rodney heaved a sigh and looked up. "What, this again? No. Look, it's—"

"It's my—it's the anniversary of Anna's mother's death," Radek interrupted. "She will be alone and I'm…" Sure that even Rodney could see why he didn't want Anna to be alone? Especially not now. Not now that Anna probably thought Radek thought very little of her. It wasn't true, but Radek hadn't done much to communicate that lately.

"Oh." Rodney paled. "Um, well, you know." He shrugged uncomfortably. "Is there someone else she can spend the day with?"

"Rodney!"

"Sorry! Look, I didn't know, and-and-and you're not picking a great time to speak up about this, you know."

Radek sighed. "I know, but I didn't think it would be a problem. Besides my times with Major Lorne's team, I've been offworld about two or three times in two years. Could you blame me?"

Oh, that was the wrong question…

"Yes!" Rodney said. "No. I mean, no. It wasn't my decision that Major Ivanov is going on Thursday. I don't make the schedules, I just assign to them. But if you're not going, it has to be me, and I've had my fair share of that place, and I can't go anywhere because I have things."

Radek waited for Rodney to stop rambling. He took a breath to speak.

Rodney interrupted again. "Because, you know, next to me, you know the ZPM connections and that machine is really old and dusty and I don't want Heyerdahl touching it."

Radek sighed. He'd thought of that. He figured he was the best person to do it. Besides Rodney. But Rodney definitely wasn't going to do it. Radek wasn't sure if Rodney could, if he had time. Radek shook his head and shrugged. Wanted to say it wasn't important; he'd figure out something else. He didn't know what.

"Look, it's not like I don't care or something."

"No, I know." What? No, he did not know that. But the point was that it was Radek's problem. It always was. Probably. "I, uh… I'm going to talk to Carson. See if he's going to the mainland or something."

"Okay, yeah." Rodney averted his eyes back to his computer.

Radek left the lab and the sound of periodically-pressed keys. Whirring servers and quietly beeping alerts on screens. After whisking through the transporter, though, he found himself on the floor Elizabeth's quarters were on. Not sure why. He probably needed advice. If he wasn't going to ask Carson, Elizabeth was the next best option. Or maybe the absolute best, with Carson in second. He needed her advice for that other thing, anyway.

 _That other thing_. She was _that other thing_.

After waiting for several seconds at her door, it slid open. Eyelids heavy, wan smile. She stepped aside to let him in anyway. "Is everything alright?" she asked, looking concerned.

Concern was appropriate. Radek shook his head and slid to stand by the wall. "No. Uh… where to start…?"

"The beginning?" she suggested.

 _Well, it all started in a university library in Czechoslovakia…_ "Okay. I was going to tell Anna about us."

"Oh, no," Elizabeth murmured, maybe thinking that Anna simply hadn't taken the news well.

Radek had no idea how she'd taken the news. The way she'd gotten the news was obviously worse, though. "No, it's worse than that. One of the 'gate technicians had already told her. Actually, it seems like rumors of your personal life have made it through all of Atlantis." Radek hesitated. Shrugged. Rodney seemed none the wiser. "Well, most of Atlantis, anyway."

"My personal life?" Elizabeth wondered. "Not yours?"

"I'm a tired topic of conversation, I guess…"

It was not as if people didn't talk about him when he brought Anna to Atlantis, maybe even some before that. He was strange, after all, even compared to the other strange people on Atlantis. He had just enough social skills to say the wrong thing 70% of the time. And there were those who wondered early on about his English proficiency, and therefore his intelligence… And then proceed to wonder out loud whether Radek understood anything they were saying when he was standing in the room.

"Atlantis is very small," he finished.

Elizabeth stared into blank space for what felt like minutes. When her trance broke, she smiled a little, apologetically. "I guess that didn't go well," she said quietly.

He chuckled ironically. "No. It went very poorly."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't. It was my fault, you know? I should have told her earlier."

They stood in silence for several more seconds. Should he tell her about Lorne's team? Radek had no idea where Reed got the idea that he and Elizabeth were.. seeing each other was an appropriate phrase, right? After all, they were technically "seeing each other" more than usual. Not much more.

"Would it help if I talked to her? I should talk to her." Elizabeth didn't even give Radek time to answer before nodding to herself.

Even though he wasn't sure it was a great idea.

But Elizabeth was nodding like she was already sure it was. He wasn't going to argue. It probably couldn't get any worse…

Who was he kidding? His entire recent life was built on the cornerstone of "things can always get worse." He wasn't about to give it up now. But let Elizabeth try to fix this mess he'd made. It would probably turn out better than any of his earlier attempts.

"I guess…" he said finally. "I just thought you should know that."

"Thank you."

Radek nodded and backed toward the door. "I should go."

Before he could get to the door, she placed her hand on his arm. Even though she may not have meant to stop him, he slowed his step. She kissed his cheek. "Good night."

He got the distinct impression he was being manipulated, but he didn't like to think that. So he just smiled and said, "Good night, Elizabeth."

* * *

 _A/N: Spring break for me. Do you know what that means? Because I don't think so. I don't think so._

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _Adela- I'm glad you liked the chapter. It is sad, though. Unfortunately, I feel like a lot of problems (both in fiction and real life) could be avoided if people just said what they meant..._

* * *

 _Next time: "Without you" was never the plan._


	89. Good Day

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna learned (in chapter 88) that Radek's been keeping a pretty important secret from her (since chapter 84)._

* * *

 **Chapter 89. Good Day.**

It was supposed to be a good day. Doctor McKay was taking her with him to the ZPM room. The ZPM room was a lucky turn of events for Anna, even if she could think of better people to spend the morning with.

It was supposed to be a good day until the door slid open into the main room.

Elizabeth sat curled up on the couch next to Radek, a cup of tea ensconced in her hands. They both looked up as soon as she entered, conversation silenced. Everything, every little thing about this picture was wrong and she couldn't decide what it was about it, exactly.

"Jéžiš, nevěřím, že toto…" * Anna threw up her hands and made a U-turn back on her door. "I'm going back to bed."

"Anna." She heard Elizabeth stand up. Anna decided to give her the time of day, something she might not have given Radek. "This isn't what you think."

"It is six-thirty in the morning!" She spun back to see them, however uncomfortable it was to have both of them in her field of vision at the same time.

Fortunately, Radek rose and went to put the kettle on.

Elizabeth smirked. "I know that you and Radek have breakfast early. You two are finished eating before I even get up in the morning. I never see either of you when I have breakfast." She waited, but Anna didn't give any indication she was listening. She wasn't sure how comfortable she was with Elizabeth puzzling out their schedules like that. "I'm here to talk to you."

Anna waited for her to explain, but Elizabeth liked to be prodded into talking. She liked a certain give-and-take in conversation. Anna was used to prodding. That was usually the only way Radek said anything to her, ever.

"Alright. What is it?"

"I need to apologize to you. You've been kept in the dark for too long, and some of that is my fault."

Anna wanted to tell her exactly what she thought of that. In Czech, probably. But Radek was standing right there. She'd never realized it before, but vulgarities in another language wasn't the same when someone in the room could understand it.

"It's not really your fault," Anna said, casting an acidic glare at Radek.

He wasn't looking at her. Which felt pretty typical.

"But it is, and I need to apologize. Will you give me just a few minutes?"

Anna sighed. That look in her eyes was so sincerely apologetic, she couldn't possibly say no. Elizabeth was pretty good at making her eyes say things, making her intentions clear, sort of, only though subtle non-verbal communication.

How the hell did she and Radek ever hit it off? He was as dense as osmium.

"Go ahead," she mumbled. Anna walked toward the couch before deciding she really didn't want to sit there. She went over to the window and leaned up against it instead.

Elizabeth nodded and took a deep breath. She set her cup of tea aside. "I was afraid."

Anna blinked. When she wanted to apologize, she really went all out on the confession, didn't she?

"Imagine for a moment, Anna, that you are in charge of Atlantis." She was saying her sentences like questions again. Anna never realized how utterly annoying that was. "I can't ignore that I've had to send people to their deaths before. I can't ignore that I'll have to do that again. My personal feelings can't get in the way of the decisions I make."

She seemed to be making a pretty good argument for Anna about just one of the myriad reasons why this was a horrible idea. Whatever this was. "Then what are you doing?"

"My judgement is perfectly fine, with or without this. But I'm worried that no one will believe that." Elizabeth stared at her, again, like she was looking into Anna's soul. "Like you don't believe that."

Anna had to admit that she was absolutely correct. She wasn't sure what made her believe that, and she wasn't sure if it was true or not. But it really wasn't the point.

"That's why I asked Radek if we could keep it secret for a while," she finished. "Because I'm afraid of what people will think."

It was all Anna could do to keep from huffing in disdain. If that wasn't the single most stupid reason—

"It wasn't fair, though, for me to ask him to keep this from you. I should have thought about that. You're smart. You were bound to find out."

She wasn't bound to fall for that bit of flattery, either. "Is that all?" Anna asked with a sigh.

Elizabeth looked a bit distressed at Anna's tone, as she probably had reason to be. Anna wasn't buying that explanation, and she wasn't interested in any excuses, whether they were Radek's or not. And, even coming from Elizabeth's mouth, this sounded like Radek.

Well, Radek's excuse was probably something more like, _I was too busy to tell you_.

 _I let time get away from me_.

 _I forgot_.

Now that she thought about it, _I was afraid_ wasn't entering the picture at all. Not even for a second.

It didn't matter if they were Elizabeth's words or Radek's. An apology didn't mean a whole lot when she felt like she'd been lied to, maybe for weeks. By both of them.

"Well, you might want to rethink that," Anna snapped. "Because if that's true, your judgment isn't fine."

Anna couldn't see through the stunned silence. Elizabeth didn't move. Didn't say anything.

"Anna." Radek's tone was low, angry.

"What do you want me to say?" Anna snapped at him. "That it's all fine? I forgive you? Well, it doesn't matter whether I do or not. You both can just go on living whatever life you want, pretending like I don't exist. That's what you want, right?"

"Anna, you know that's not true." Radek didn't sound angry anymore. "I made a mistake."

Okay, so that's what this was. A mistake. "Okay, well, it doesn't matter because I forgive you." She looked at each of them for a response, and Radek was the first to try. He opened his mouth, to say what, who knew?

Before he could finish, Anna said over him, "Nezajímá mě, rozumíš?" **

She walked out into the hallway before either of them could stop her or even say anything.

Anna stood there in shock for a few seconds before clearing the angry tears from her eyes and walking toward Doctor McKay's lab. If _Rodney_ knew before Anna did, she didn't know what she'd do. Radek hated Doctor McKay. If McKay knew, he probably learned it from someone else, too. Which was just as irritating because, as much as Radek hated Doctor McKay, Doctor McKay hated Radek, too.

But Rodney wasn't in his lab when she got there.

She sat down at one of the stations and pulled up the files she was looking at yesterday. Something about the ZPM configuration…

She was too angry to think right now. She got up and left, not sure where she was going.

#

Radek stared at the door as she left.

He should have said something, but he didn't. Nothing came to mind. Nothing except…

He didn't want to live his life like Anna didn't exist. That was never what he wanted, but he never changed. Ten years did nothing. He was still the same person today that lost her back then. The same man that watched her leave just minutes ago sent her away when she was five.

"I'm so sorry," Elizabeth said quietly, pulling him back into the present from the recollections grating on his soul. "I don't know what I should have said, but that obviously…"

"It's nothing you did," Radek interrupted.

He didn't want her to come this morning, but he couldn't really blame her, either. Should he tell her where the blame should be? Surely she could guess. But if he said something, then she'd politely try to argue with him. She'd ask for explanations. And Radek would tell her the truth, because he didn't want to lie to her.

Elizabeth did him a favor, though, and didn't guess. Maybe because she knew. She hadn't figured out that she shouldn't be here, yet. She didn't know that Radek was a selfish and ignorant man who never learned.

He should tell her to get out now, shouldn't he?

But he wouldn't. He was selfish.

"We're both to blame," Elizabeth said gently, crossing the floor to stand beside him.

She put her hand on his shoulder and his skin crawled.

Radek shrugged her off and went to pick up his jacket. "Need to go talk to her," he mumbled. "I don't know what I'm going to say, but…" His voice trailed away.

"I know I'm not exactly the person you want to ask for advice right now, but it might be a wise idea to let her… have a few minutes to herself." Elizabeth went back to the couch where she picked up her cup of tea and looked at him thoughtfully.

That sounded perfectly reasonable. Anna probably wanted a few minutes. But she could take those few minutes as confirmation that she was a disposable part of life, that things might be better if she were back on Earth, not here, not with him.

"I have to make sure she knows that isn't what I want. I never wanted to live like she didn't exist." He shook his head. "But how is she supposed to believe that? I left one day and didn't come back. I don't know what Eliška told her. I hadn't seen her; I didn't get to tell her—"

He didn't want to think poorly of Eliška, didn't want to assume Eliška gave Anna the impression that Radek didn't care about her. No, Radek had done enough of that and didn't need Eliška's help. But he begged Eliška for another chance… did she tell Anna that? Did she pass on the one message Radek asked her to: that he loved Anna?

Elizabeth watched him intently, took a sip of tea. "We all say things we don't mean when we're angry. I'm sure Anna didn't mean that."

He shrugged into his jacket and went to the door. That was true sometimes. He'd said many things in anger that he didn't mean, didn't believe. Other times, anger made them say the things they knew were too true to say.

"I'd like to make sure," Radek said. "I don't mean to be rude."

Elizabeth nodded that it was fine. She watched him leave.

He didn't know where to go to find Anna, and after half an hour he felt like he'd looked everywhere. He went to his lab and Rodney's, the gym, the 'gateroom… He checked the mess hall periodically, figuring she might want to eat at some point. He made it back to the mess hall after checking the Jumper Bay. It was full now, everyone that Radek and Anna usually missed seeing at breakfast because they were always here so early.

He glanced around, and then, for some reason… looked up.

He remembered showing her the catwalk just under the mess hall's high ceiling in the first few days on Atlantis. Anna was up there, her legs hanging over the edge of the walkway, her head resting on one of the railings. She might have been watching at some point, but she didn't seem to be now or she might have seen him coming.

He climbed the stairs around the corner from the mess hall and stepped out onto the walk.

"Anna?"

She shuddered at his voice and mumbled into her arms, "Jděte pryč." ***

He walked closer anyway. " _I don't know what to tell you, Anna. I really screwed up._ " He stood back a few steps from her and shrugged helplessly. " _What do you want me to say?_ "

" _Nothing. I want you to leave_ ," she said.

How was he supposed to tell her he didn't want to leave? Never did, especially when Eliška told him that by the time he got back from his conference in Berlin, she and Anna would be gone. He knelt a few feet away and looked at the mess hall below.

" _It's okay, you know,_ " she said a few long minutes later. " _I don't really care that you and Elizabeth are together. I like Elizabeth._ "

" _I should have told you._ "

" _I would have liked that,_ " she agreed, and then shrugged. " _But I don't care. It's your life. It's none of my business. Mom might have had boyfriends I didn't know about, and I don't care about that_."

He was stupid, but not that stupid. Anna did care. And he couldn't even think of why he didn't tell her in the first place. He told her about his placement on Lorne's team before that was confirmed. He told her all the various times he wanted to kill Rodney, and that one time he was terrified Rodney was going to kill himself and take Colonel Sheppard with him.

He told her about Atlantis.

" _It's not just my life anymore_."

" _But it was._ " Anna shrugged. " _It's different now, and I'm sorry. It's not your fault Mom died. I'm sorry you have to live with it._ "

He didn't know how to respond, but she might as well have punched him in the gut. There was no good way to answer, either. He wished Eliška hadn't died… but he wanted the chance to be with his daughter, also. It wasn't fair both of those things couldn't exist in the same universe… Most of all for Anna.

" _Anna, no, don't think that. I wish Eliška were alive, if—but I've only ever wished to have you in my life._ "

She got up and left.

" _Anna, please…?_ "

She didn't respond.

And he didn't follow her.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* I don't believe this.

** I don't care, understand?

*** Go away.

* * *

 _A/N: You saw this coming._

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _MissMeow1968- It's true. But I suppose that's true about everyone to some extent. I'm sure things will turn out alright in the end, though. ;) Also... yeah, we're a bit away from Todd. The first time he shows up is about halfway through Season 3, so... well, I guess we're a tiny bit close, then. But then he disappears for an eternity. I don't know why Anna would meet him then. So we're not really all that close._

 _Adela- Glad you liked it! But, as you can see... yeah, I think Anna's having none of that. I hope you have a good weekend, too. :)_

* * *

 _Next time: Breaking hearts is just so easy…_


	90. Anybody Else's Problem

_Previously: Radek's been keeping a pretty important secret (since chapter 84) from Anna. Bad news: she found out (in chapter 87)._

* * *

 **Chapter 90. Anybody Else's Problem.**

Anna didn't know whether to feel guilty or like a petty little child when she skipped out on breakfast with Radek this morning. Maybe a little of both. She was still angry, and was sure she was justified to be. He'd pretty well acted like a small child, too. Keeping these stupid secrets because he didn't know what to tell her? How to tell her?

Who cared?

Anna stared up at the ceiling for a long time, hugging her quilt until midmorning. Hunger finally pulled her from her covers and persuaded her to get dressed.

The mess hall was empty, all the warm breakfast cleared. Anna settled for cold cereal and took her time eating it. No one was waiting for her. No one was wondering where she was. Nobody cared, and nobody bothered…

The mess hall was actually pretty nice when it was empty. No endless echo of conversations. When there weren't rows of food along the wall waiting to be eaten, the only thing Anna could smell was the sea salt breeze wafting in the open doors. She'd never quite realized how beautiful it was in here.

It was beautiful here. She didn't need anybody to acknowledge her existence in order to be happy.

"There you are."

Anna dropped her spoon and spun.

Iskaan looked incredibly amused, but apologized anyway for startling her. "I looked for you at your quarters, but you weren't there." He paused, pulling out the chair next to her. "Unless I was at the wrong door, standing like an idiot outside someone else's room. That's possible."

Anna giggled. "I didn't know you were coming today."

"It was going to be a surprise," Iskaan said. "Sort of. I'm just doing a two-day trip to Ancada before coming back. I don't need to leave for another two hours. You aren't busy, are you?"

Anna shook her head. "No. Not busy. Will you be back on the mainland after that, then?"

Iskaan nodded, peering into Anna's cereal bowl like he wasn't sure what was in there was safe for consumption. "It probably won't even take two days. I might even be back tomorrow night. Will you be busy then?"

Anna doubted it, but she didn't answer. Her mind spun with possibilities of how she could escape this hollow, echoing place. Maybe it was just the empty mess hall. Maybe it was everything else.

"Can I go back to the mainland with you when you get back?" she asked.

Iskaan shrugged with a grin. "Fine with me. You know you're welcome anytime, don't you?"

Anna nodded, staying quiet.

She must have been too quiet for too long. She didn't know how to respond when Iskaan turned her chin up with his knuckle. "Hey, you okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded and turned away. Picked up her bowl. "Yeah. I've just had a bad couple of days, is all."

Iskaan followed her when she made a break for the trash bin. "I'm sorry to hear that."

He didn't ask her what was wrong with her. Anna didn't suppose he'd want to know. Who would want to know, anyway? Nobody really cared about anybody else's problems. But she wanted to believe that somebody cared. Somebody somewhere.

"Can I help you somehow?" he asked as he followed her out into the hallway.

His tone was quiet, like maybe he was unsure about what he was saying. Maybe he didn't want to say it but knew he should. Or maybe he did, but it just wasn't something people said.

Why didn't people say these things?

"No. Not really…" Anna sighed and turned to him with a small smile. "But thanks for asking. Can I help you load the Puddle Jumper or something?"

She might have asked him if he would mind her going with him to whatever planet he said he was going to… but then she'd have to track Radek down to ask his permission, and she didn't want to do that more than she wanted to go to another planet with Iskaan.

His smile was unconvinced, but he nodded anyway. "There isn't much left to do. It's not a very big mission—it's why it's only going to take about a day at most."

Anna didn't care. She stepped up and took his hand in hers.

He seemed surprised, but he didn't let go. Rather, he lifted his hand a little and looked at her fingers laced around his own. "What is this for?"

"What, your people don't hold hands?" Anna asked.

"They do…" Iskaan answered tentatively. "Really only families, though. And to guide small children."

"Oh." Anna didn't let go of his hand, even though she could only imagine what he must have interpreted this to mean. Anna didn't know how she interpreted it. Not her problem. "On my planet, friends do. Also families, but not only families." And sometimes not even families.

"I see." Iskaan walked with Anna toward the Jumper Bay. The walk was quiet and slow, giving Anna time to think. About what, she didn't know. They walked all the way to the Jumper Bay with hardly a word spoken between them. Just inside the door, though, Iskaan suddenly sighed as though annoyed or concerned. "Anna, what's wrong?" He hurried to add, "You're acting unusual."

Anna nodded slowly. "I guess I am. I'm sorry."

Iskaan paused to look directly at her. He didn't seem annoyed at all anymore. Just concerned. "I don't want an apology. I want to know if you're okay. If there's anything I can do to help."

She sighed. "A couple of days from now is… a year ago, my mother died. I wish she was here."

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly. "I don't remember my mother."

Anna pulled her hand out of his and backed up to lean on the corner of the wall. "I'm okay most days. I just don't…" She took a deep breath and turned her eyes back to him. "I just don't like to think about it. And it's hard not to think about it when I think that a year ago, today, I was in the hospital with her."

Iskaan looked down. "I know I'd be sad if I lost my father somehow. Very sad. I don't know how sad." He leaned back against the wall next to her. "Tell me about her?"

It was hard to imagine he actually wanted to know, but he was doing a fine job pretending. "It's okay."

"No, really. I never met my mother. I like hearing about other peoples'."

Anna shrugged. "Just like any other mother, I guess. She made the best dinners… um, most of the time. Only when she was making something she knew. Anytime she wanted to try anything she'd never made before, it always turned out just awful."

Iskaan smiled.

His smile made Anna think maybe she could, too. He wouldn't think any less of her, probably. "She was very smart, also. Smarter than anybody I knew. She always knew more than all of my teachers about everything. And she liked to buy me things, like clothes. It seemed like every week she'd get me some new shirt or pants."

"You must have been rich," Iskaan said.

"I don't know if we were." Anna looked around the space filled with things. She realized how lucky she was, to never want for anything. Everything she could have ever wanted was given to her before she knew to ask for it. "I guess we were. But, it doesn't really matter, you know?"

It didn't make sense. Anna knew it as soon as she said it, from the way he tilted his head and blinked.

She tried not to laugh, either at him or herself. "I don't know. When you're young, outside playing after a picnic, your mother sitting nearby just watching? You don't know anything when you're young. Things just are the way they are, whether they're good or bad."

Iskaan nodded like he understood that, at least. "When a few minutes are so good, you forget the hours that were bad."

"I guess."

Anna remembered those bad hours, too. She remembered her mother sitting her down on the couch and holding Anna's hands in hers. She told Anna that Radek wasn't coming back home, explained that she and Radek just couldn't live together anymore. They were arguing too much. They argued all the time. But Anna never had to worry because she loved Anna forever, no matter what.

Anna had too many questions to ask all of them. She wanted to know if she could see Radek again. Her mother said no, probably not anytime soon. But Radek loved her, too. Always would.

But was that true? What if Anna started arguing with Radek? What if Anna started arguing with her mother? Would Anna have to leave then, too?

Anna realized later, maybe a little too much later, that didn't make much sense. Parents didn't kick their children out for things like that. She hoped not, anyway.

Anna still spent the majority of her young life making sure to never argue. It was better to take her mother at her word that she and Radek were separating because they argued. Not because they didn't love each other. At least, if it was because of arguing, then there was something Anna could do. It wasn't some spontaneous breakdown of love… though that seemed just as possible.

"Anna?"

Maybe Anna had been thinking too much. "Yes? I mean…" She sighed, and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Okay, but Anna? You know, you can come visit me. Maybe you wouldn't have to think of your mother at all if you didn't want to." Iskaan smiled a little. "Doctor Adams is coming, and I'm sure he'd bring you if you asked."

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll think about it. I'll see you when you come back?"

Iskaan gave a solid nod. "I hope so."

#

The lab that morning was unusually quiet. Or maybe it was always this way and Radek was only more aware of it right now. Everyone bent over their consoles, testing and guessing, deciding and theorizing. Now that Radek considered the possibility that his life had entered the crosshairs of some of the military members of Atlantis, he had to wonder whether he'd been placed under a microscope here in the lab, too.

Since when did he care what other people thought?

Since when did he even notice?

Rodney suddenly waltzed in, like he was on some important business. He didn't say anything for the longest time. No accusations of idiocy, no opening snide remarks.

After a moment, Radek couldn't stand it anymore. "Do you need something, Rodney?"

"Hm, um, yeah," Rodney said. "Could you give me a hand with a few of the artifacts they bought on M1S?"

Radek looked at him askance, nodding anyway. "Okay, sure." He paused to give Heyerdahl a few instructions to continue what Radek was doing.

Radek followed Rodney back through Lab 01 to the room where a bunch of technological artifacts perched on files and spilled out on tables. Recon team 12 bought a collection from a group of agrarian traders a few weeks ago. There were also bits and baubles from the piers and lower levels, and a few more found in ruins offworld. More than anything, they had the slick and sharp shards from Wraith encounters all over the galaxy.

"So." Rodney handed Radek a tablet and a thing that looked more like a rock than anything else. "Seen Doctor Weir lately?"

Radek froze for a fraction of a second. Was that what this was about? He had the brief thought to tell Rodney to, please, hold on for just a second. He had to go find Major Lorne and tell him to shoot him. But, no. Radek had nothing left in him to care what McKay, of all people, thought.

"No, not lately," he answered, thinking it was something of the truth. What was _lately_? He hadn't seen her today. That counted. "Why? Was she looking for me?"

"I don't know. Is she?"

Radek slapped the artifacts down on the nearest table and busied himself pulling up files from the category. "I said I hadn't seen her. How am I supposed to know?"

"Come on, Radek!"

When Radek looked up the next time, Rodney was staring at him in what might have been confusion or disappointment or something between those two lines. It was almost as entertaining as Radek imagined this moment would be.

"'Come on,' what?" Radek said, going back to the files. He wasn't necessarily one to be cagey, but when Rodney's torment was involved, Radek was willing to make exception. "Have you been listening to the water cooler gossip again, because you remember what happened the last time, yes?"

"That was completely different, and she does have a thing for me."

Radek rolled his eyes. Kusanagi respected Rodney a lot, yes, maybe too much. Still, Radek refused to believe she found him attractive in any sense. "No, she doesn't."

"Okay, you're right. She doesn't. Not anymore, anyway," Rodney allowed. "I was sorry to break her heart, but, you know, Doctor Brown has—"

"I don't want to know what Doctor Brown has," Radek interrupted, shutting his eyes to try to ignore whatever picture Rodney might have brought up. Instead, he pulled up the most recent catalog of artifacts and found the one he was about to input already there. Pictures, description, everything. He held up the device. "These are already cataloged."

"Oh?" Rodney looked genuinely surprised.

Of course, he was genuinely surprised. He never did the cataloging—how was he supposed to know what was done unless he went looking for registered artifacts?

"Good. Looks like we're done." Radek sighed, shoved the artifact back on the shelf. He was about to leave when he decided he couldn't just ignore Rodney's hurt and baffled look. "And I suppose you want to know whether that gossip is true?"

"Well…" Rodney muttered. "Everybody else I've talked to this morning seems to think it is."

"There you have it, then."

"I refuse to believe that you two have been, you know…" Rodney made a vague gesture with his hands. Radek couldn't begin to guess what it meant before Rodney went charging ahead. "No way. Not for weeks. I would have noticed."

"You wouldn't have noticed."

Rodney paused, paled, and continued, "And you, of all people? Come on."

"Sorry, Rodney."

"I don't believe it."

Radek went back to his lab. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled with time wasted and Rodney's grating tone stabbing his auditory nerve. It didn't matter what Rodney believed. It didn't matter what anybody thought. He thought that Rodney's discomfort would have well enough made up for any unpleasant consequences for the pursuit of this relationship.

He was almost right.

Rodney stood quietly in the doorway before walking away. He'd apparently run out of things to say. If Radek didn't know better, though, he'd say Rodney had been hurt. He couldn't figure why that would be, and didn't care. He had enough of his own problems to worry about to concern himself with anybody else's.

* * *

 _A/N: But did you see this coming?_

 _Seriously, though, I feel really bad about how protracted this silly arc has become. We will clean up this mess soon, I swear._

* * *

 _Next time: I swear I wasn't looking for anything in the Jumper Bay._


	91. Got You

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Since Anna found out (in chapter 87) that Radek's been keeping a pretty big secret from her (since chapter 83), she's kind of ducked out to spend time with Iskaan instead. Radek's accepted that he's going to the planet with all the kids on the anniversary of his ex-wife's death (since chapter 86). Could things get any worse? (Is it a spoiler to say the answer is always yes?) (Consolation: I try to make the payoff worth.)_

* * *

 **Chapter 91. Got You.**

Enough avoiding the issue.

It was important for Anna to know that he would be offworld tomorrow, right? Even if he didn't tell her anything else, he needed to tell her this. If he didn't, and just disappeared tomorrow—? No, that would be the worst possible way to handle it. He always knew that not handling it was the worst of all his options, but he did it anyway.

He shouldn't hurt her any more than he already had.

It was a little self-important to believe his falsehood of omission had an impact on Anna's outlook that anywhere rivaled how she must be feeling about the anniversary of Eliška's death. On the other hand, he would rather believe his actions had some effect, rather than none. Wouldn't he? Even if it were bad?

Selfishly, Radek decided it would be worse to mean nothing.

This morning, he managed to drag out of her that she was going to be studying with Carson. It would be nice, probably, talking to her in the presence of other human beings. That way she might at least find it in her favor to pretend to be cordial. One thing was for certain, Carson was somehow far better at the "wordless scolding" than Radek was.

Maybe it was all those siblings…

Radek considered himself lucky to actually find her in the infirmary until he realized that a blood test might be in order for him anyway.

Carson was the first to acknowledge his coming into the infirmary with a nod and a smile. He patted Anna's shoulder as he rose. "One moment, dear," he said to her. "Read up on the organelle functions… there will be a test later."

She gave him a playful sneer in response. A moment later, she saw Radek.

Her expression was really unidentifiable as either good or bad. Mostly neutral.

"Here to donate some blood to science?" Carson joked. The gloves were already going on.

Radek sighed. "More or less." Better to think of it that way. At least he knew for absolutely certain by now that he had no blood disorders. He'd know the moment his cholesterol or blood sugar was even slightly out of balance in his blood stream.

He took a seat on an examination table and looked at Anna while Carson went about his business of gathering the usual instruments of anguish.

" _Anna, I have to go offworld tomorrow_."

To his surprise, she glanced up suddenly, seeming… upset.

Maybe it was better to mean nothing.

" _I tried to talk Rodney out of it, but he won't budge, you know?_ "

A very slow nod was the only response he got for a long time. Carson walked up to him, looking very somber for his jolly mood of just a minute ago. He looked up at Radek with a disapproving glare—at least that's what Radek thought it looked like.

Radek wanted to object that it wasn't his fault this time. He would own up to it if it were his fault—what was one more item on the list of his shortcomings? But he wasn't taking this one on when he didn't have to.

" _It was a miscommunication, and Rodney just wouldn't… I'm sorry, I really did try to stay on Atlantis._ " And she could ask Major Lorne if she didn't believe him.

Major Lorne was approximately infinitely more understanding than Rodney was.

Anna shrugged and stood from her seat. " _Um. It's okay. I wasn't going to do anything_."

" _I know, and that's… that's not what I hoped for_."

" _It's okay, I don't mind. Have fun offworld_." She turned away toward the door, saying to Carson as she went, "I'm going to go get a snack, Doctor Beckett. Or lunch, actually. I'm pretty hungry. I—uh, I'll be right back."

Carson watched her go, looking ultimately apologetic. Even Radek knew that sound in her voice, the wavering tone that meant she was trying hard not to cry. He gave a sigh and looked back to Radek's arm.

Radek didn't even notice he was just about finishing up removing his pound of flesh. Or, maybe liter of blood. Radek sighed. " _You can yell at me now_."

Carson looked baffled. "What?"

At least, judging by the look on Carson's face only a moment ago, it might have been a reasonable response. "I shouldn't be leaving Atlantis, tomorrow of all days."

"Probably."

Radek hesitated, giving Carson a sideways glance. "You aren't going to yell at me, are you?" He almost wished that he would. Even though there was nothing that he could do about it, he would have liked to think about something other than Anna crying over her sandwich in the mess hall right now.

He chuckled, and finished writing Radek's name on the vials. "No, I don't think so."

"Somebody probably should."

"Everybody makes mistakes, you know," Carson said. He paused his writing on the vials. "Just wait. It won't be long before this whole thing blows over and you'll be arguing about something else."

Radek glared. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Carson shrugged. "I wasn't saying it to make you feel better. Not really. It's just my prediction." He finished writing Radek's name and deposited them with the next batch to be tested. He spun toward Radek. "I do have one question, though…"

"Anything, so long as it isn't about Anna." Radek sighed. "I guarantee I won't know the answer."

Carson hesitated for a while, like maybe his question was about Anna and he didn't know what to do now that it was off-limits. Finally, though, he spoke. Quietly. "Doctor Elizabeth Weir?" Like it was still a secret even though odds were good the whole city knew more about it than Radek did.

"Or that," Radek added.

"I guess it wasn't really a question. More like… I don't want to be insulting. But there is a bit of disbelief in there somewhere." He chuckled and shook his head.

It certainly sounded insulting, but Carson never meant to be insulting. It was a little unbelievable.

"How is Lieutenant Cadman?" he asked, hoping that Carson would have something better to report about his romantic relationship.

"Oh." Carson sighed like that was not a good question. Putting his hands in his lab coat pockets, he shrugged a bit sadly. "She's, uh, she's going back to Earth actually."

Radek had heard nothing of that. Actually, now that he thought about it, he hadn't heard anything about the two of them at all. He often wondered what it was the two of them had in common… next to some fairly intense one-directional attraction. As far as Radek knew. He just knew that Carson had never said a single word about Cadman before she got stuck in Rodney's head.

"I'm sorry; I didn't—"

"Oh, it's fine. It's not—well, I don't know." Carson half-laughed and shrugged. "It's different, and that's perfectly fine with me. I think some space between us could be good." He paused and gave Radek an narrowed stare, as though Radek might know the answer to a question he was asking himself. "I think it's something to do with our first kiss being through Rodney."

Radek shuddered involuntarily. Rodney was not someone he wanted to think about in such circumstances. Not in most circumstances. "My sympathies for that."

"Appreciate it," Carson returned sarcastically.

"It seems trauma like that would stay with you," Radek offered in pity.

"Oh, aye, I have nightmares about it." And, now, Radek couldn't tell if Carson was being hyperbolic or not. It was apparently Carson's turn to shudder, and he looked around for something else to talk about. At least, Radek thought, he seemed to have forgotten Elizabeth. "Well, good luck offworld tomorrow."

"Thank you." Radek made to leave when Carson interrupted him again.

"I was thinking, Doctor Adams is going to the mainland tomorrow."

Radek nodded. Anna was going to need something to do tomorrow. The mainland was a common suggestion, apparently. Radek hoped it would be enough. "That might work. I'll offer that to her."

He didn't have to track Anna down right now to ask her. He went to the lab to see the results of an overnight test he was running instead. The lab was somehow quieter than usual. The whispers had died down, the quiet conversations, and surreptitious glances.

Nothing lasted forever.

#

There was nothing around here to think about, and that was the problem. Anna traced her way through the hallways until she remembered that she was fairly hungry. It might have been an excuse, but it wasn't a lie.

She stood in front of the food laid out for lunch and decided that none of it looked particularly good to her. She tried to eat a pasta salad, but it didn't seem to agree with her. She began walking again shortly after lunch. She imagined that Radek had left the infirmary by now and she could probably go back.

Anna didn't go back to the infirmary. Instead, she found herself several levels up in the central tower, above the control center, in the Jumper Bay. At first, it seemed completely empty, until her silence for several seconds was interrupted by a rustling around on the other side of the bay. She went into the center of the room to see that the back door to Jumper Four was standing open, and Iskaan was picking up a crate from a pile outside.

Iskaan noticed her a moment later. "Oh, hello." He smiled, and Anna was surprised how much that cheered her. "I looked for you earlier, but I couldn't find you."

That was also fairly cheering, to be looked for. "I was in the infirmary studying with Doctor Beckett."

"I see," Iskaan said. He pulled the crate up into his arms and started heading into Jumper Four. "I'm glad you came to find me, then."

Anna followed him up the shallow ramp. The Jumper was filling up, slowly but surely. It didn't seem like there would be very much space left when he was done, but Anna was sure it was probably only Iskaan and one other Athosian on this trip. Plus the pilot, that would leave room for one more passenger to sit.

Suddenly, Iskaan was looking at her with some concern. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Anna shrugged. "Am I so obvious?"

"I don't know. Maybe not." Iskaan gave a small smile. "You are to me."

Her heart fluttered needlessly at those words, even though she tried not to let it. It seemed wrong, somehow. To be happy at all. Today of all days. Or maybe tomorrow. Any day at all. She sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"That's nothing to apologize for," Iskaan said.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Anna wasn't really sure at the moment. She only knew that, right at this moment, she wanted to tell him everything. Tell him all about her mother, and how she felt worse today than she ever had. Tomorrow was unlikely to be any different. She wanted to tell him about Radek, how he'd lied to her. Or, at the very least, seemed to wish she wasn't here.

If she did that, though, who knew what he'd think of her.

Anna sighed. "Can we talk about something else?" Anything else, and she was sure she'd take it.

"I didn't know we were talking about something, but… you can talk to me about anything." Well, that certainly left her options wide open. Iskaan picked up a sack. "I don't know what we're talking about, so… if you could give some direction?"

Anna didn't know what to bring up to talk about. There had to be something more interesting to talk about than the weather. Had Iskaan seen they had pigeons yet?

"Are you coming to see me tomorrow?" Iskaan asked when Anna didn't say anything.

"I hope so," Anna said. With that, she moved into the Puddle Jumper and took a seat on the bench. That was a nice thing to talk about. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure…" Iskaan answered. "Whatever you want to do tomorrow, I hope."

Anna couldn't help a small smile, pleased for the change of direction in her thoughts as much as for his flattery. "Hey, Iskaan, can I ask you something…?"

"Of course." Iskaan went back to toting the things into the Puddle Jumper.

"It's a question about… us…" She glanced up to make sure he was receptive to the subject.

It was hard to tell whether he was or not. He halted his work outside the Puddle Jumper to look up at her. He looked shocked or confused. This was not the question he bargained for. "Us?" he repeated.

Anna wasn't sure there was an "us," come to think of it. She probably just irreparably embarrassed herself. At least she would know for sure. "I'm not sure there even is an 'us,' or ever would be, if you know what I mean," she added quickly.

Iskaan pulled a sack up on his shoulder. "Would you like there to be?"

"I don't know." Anna supposed that being honest was the best thing to be. She watched Iskaan put the sack on the bench across from Anna, wedged between a crate and another sack. He took his time about it, then turned to her.

"I don't know how… um… courting works for Athosians?" Anna said. Iskaan told her how their families functioned… or, rather, didn't function to Anna's view, but that didn't count. Established families were quite different from… well, wherever Anna wondered they were heading.

Where were they headed?

"I don't know." Iskaan shrugged. "I mean, I don't know how to explain it to you. I've never known anything different, and I wouldn't know what to tell you."

Anna nodded. That made some sense. She wouldn't know how to explain dating on Earth. Especially since she'd never dated before. She stood up next to him, keeping her eyes on her hands. "I'm just afraid you think of me something I don't think of you. Or maybe I think of you something you don't think of me."

"I guess that depends on what you think of me." Iskaan took a step closer, carefully, almost like Anna watched him approach a songbird in one of his traps once. He didn't want to scare them.

"I don't know if this is a good idea. And I don't want to go too fast. That's all." Anna hesitated, considering her words again. She really didn't say anything she wanted to, did she? Was Iskaan being cagey on purpose? "Is it a good idea?"

Iskaan chuckled. "We could find out." He took another step. "We could go slow."

Anna looked up at him. Her heart fluttered against her ribcage like it was trying to escape. Like that songbird. "Um," she said with a nod. "Maybe." She didn't realize how close he was to her when she took a step even closer.

This was hardly _slow_.

Iskaan wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. To Anna's surprise, she didn't fight him… She looked up into his warm, brown eyes for half a second. She could feel his heart beating right next to hers. His smile was like silk. When he leaned in, she closed her eyes. The feeling… what was this feeling?

She felt lost for a second. Nothing existed outside. Just the moment, the sensation, his lips and his hands.

He drew back, breaking the spell. "Well?" he whispered. "Does that answer your question?"

Anna looked down for a moment, at once giggling and fighting to breathe again. When he tilted her chin up toward his face, it seemed unimportant. She smiled a little. "I forgot what my question was."

"Good."

Anna was sure she could have lost hours like this. How did he do that? Make the cares of the day slip away into oblivion? She fastened a grip on his shirt collar, losing track of everything but his embrace. Everything but the beating of their hearts together. Everything but his strength, his warmth, and how she seemed to just fit in his arms when he pulled her close.

Losing track of everything, until she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

Iskaan broke away, spinning toward the entrance to the Puddle Jumper. Anna leaned back against the wall, catching in a breath. Iskaan put one arm in front of her protectively. Even though it was only Radek.

Only Radek.

* * *

 _A/N: See, this, I'm perfectly fine with. My characters. It's all good here. Keeping it real. I mean keeping it PG… Extremely PG. My modus operandi._

* * *

 _Next time: Uh. Busted?_


	92. Critical Mass

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Since Radek didn't tell Anna outright about his relationship with Doctor Weir (since chapter 84), Anna finding out by way of 'gate tech gossip (in chapter 88) was a bit of a disaster. Anna's been spending time with other friends, in part to avoid Radek (since chapter 90). It's pretty much gone downhill from there. Especially since both of them got to make a separate, yet equally… interesting discovery last chapter…_

* * *

 **Chapter 92. Critical Mass.**

Radek didn't think it was Anna at first. Even though this strange young woman looked just like Anna. She was wearing Anna's clothes. Her hair looked just like Anna's. She was about Anna's height and build, and Anna's locator said she would be in the Jumper Bay. He was in the Jumper Bay, right? Yes, this was a Puddle Jumper.

It was Anna, no doubt about it. So he had only one question…

Why was her face pressed up against the Athosian boy's?

"Radek," she gasped, drawing a hand over her mouth. She looked up at the boy.

Iskaan. His name was Iskaan. He didn't look too predatory, but they never did. Radek was once a seventeen-year-old boy, too. A long time ago. In another galaxy.

"Radek, what are you doing here?"

"I think I could ask you the same thing," he mumbled. He shouldn't have said that. But he didn't remember why he was here.

He was going to offer that Anna could go to the mainland tomorrow, so she wouldn't have to be alone.

Right. That wasn't happening.

Stepping forward, Iskaan held a hand out like he was offering something. His hand was shaking, ever so slightly. "Doctor Zelenka, this isn't—"

"It isn't?" Radek interrupted. "What is it, then?"

He didn't want to know what it wasn't. He barely wanted to know what it was. Most certainly didn't want to know what it could have been had he come in a few minutes later. He only wanted to know that whatever-it-was would never happen again. He took a deep breath to catch back his sudden anger at Iskaan, and looked at Anna.

He felt he'd given Iskaan long enough to answer, though it might have been half a second.

"Anna, there are a few things you need to know before tomorrow…"

Anna nodded slowly, looking confused. "Okay. I'll be there in a minute." Radek watched her glance at Iskaan with the smallest of shrugs as soon as their eyes met.

"No," Radek said. "No, I mean right now."

For a moment, he thought she'd argue. But she didn't. She carefully let go of the boy's hand and walked past him out of the Puddle Jumper. Iskaan watched her go without a word, then looked at Radek. Radek might have been amused at the stunned way he looked at him.

This was not amusing. This was Anna, not some random girl whose illicit tryst he'd walked in on. He rethought that almost immediately. There was nothing illicit here. He wasn't even sure it was some further romantic rendezvous.

It would have been if Iskaan had his way. Radek was sure of that.

Radek wished he'd said something more to Iskaan before leaving, but he was already walking away after Anna. Anna stepped into the transporter before him, turned around, and waited.

He pressed the button for the south-east pier. The doors swept open again.

" _I'm not going to apologize_ ," she said, stepping out of the transporter.

All of his self-control expended in not responding to that in a flurry of disdain. He didn't want her to apologize—he wanted her to demonstrate some intelligence. Maybe some thoughtfulness for that poor boy with whom a legitimate relationship could never materialize.

He bit his tongue until they walked into the room.

How should he say this? He'd had nightmares about this. And now it was here. Just like he imagined, he was losing his head. " _I don't want an apology_ ," he said slowly. " _I want you to think_." He cringed slightly at the memory. He swore he'd never ask someone to _think_ again…

His words had exactly the effect he thought they would. Anna spun around, obviously livid. " _Think?"_ she rasped. " _You want me to think?"_

" _We are in another galaxy_ ," he started. _Carefully, Radek_ , he thought. Carefully. " _And the Athosians are a very different people than we are_."

" _What does that mean?"_ Anna demanded.

Radek realized how intolerant that sounded a moment later. He didn't mean it that way—simply because they were Athosians… More like because they were pre-pre-Industrial? Radek had no idea if that would be a socially acceptable reason. There was no frame of reference for this as far as he knew. He couldn't imagine Anna bringing someone home from a hunter/gatherer society. That's all.

" _If you'll give me a chance to speak_."

Anna said nothing.

He didn't think she was "too young" to understand these kinds of things. Far from it—she understood perfectly. She just wasn't thinking. That was it. " _There are all kinds of diseases around here that can kill you without even looking at you. What sort of diseases do you think you can get with a kiss?"_ Or more—he was _not_ thinking about this right now…

Anna looked indignant.

Maybe he wasn't giving her enough credit, and she knew what sort of creatures the male of their species was. " _And I want you to, please, consider the consequences."_

" _Consequences?"_ she repeated.

He just nodded.

Consequences. He knew there was little he could do to stop her from experimenting—as though getting her into another galaxy where precious little opportunity existed wasn't enough. So many consequences, so little time to think of them all…

For a moment, Radek hoped she had a reasonable response to his perfectly legitimate concerns. Because they were perfectly legitimate.

But she didn't say anything. Not for several seconds, anyway, giving him plenty of time to imagine all the other, better ways he could have said what he was thinking.

If he even knew what he was thinking…

#

Anna gave a slow blink. What was she supposed to say? _Okay_? Give some sort of indication that she agreed—then maybe this discussion would be over and they'd never have to deal with it again. But, no. She couldn't just say _okay_. It wasn't okay that he had no idea who she was. It wasn't okay that he thought this was something he needed to discuss with her.

Who did he think he was?

" _You think I'm so irresponsible?"_ she found herself hissing instead.

Radek looked blindsided by her reaction. She had the moment of clarity to realize that he had every right to be confused right now. But he didn't—it was his fault he didn't know Anna. Didn't know her at all. Didn't know Anna only wanted to _know_. Was that so difficult? It was his fault he missed everything.

" _No,"_ he said slowly. " _No, of course, I don't think you're irresponsible_."

" _That's right."_ Anna could probably count on one hand the things Radek knew about her, and all of them were surface. All of them were petty. All of them were things that Anna didn't really care about. " _You don't think I'm irresponsible. You don't think I'm anything. What do you know about me?"_

He was still confused. He still had no idea what he was supposed to say. But that was his fault, not hers. " _I'm just… worried about you. I am your dad, shouldn't I—_ "

" _No!"_

That word. What made him think he could use _that word_ to describe their relationship? Anna didn't have a dad. Not really. Just someone who happened to contribute half of her DNA, and make sure she got her homework done. Who wished she wasn't there, never told her anything, and would probably be much happier if she just went back to Earth.

" _You don't get to worry about me. You don't know anything about me_." She glanced away when she realized how hurt he looked. She looked back after a second.

" _Fine_ ," he said quietly in a strangled voice. He took a quick breath, his eyes shifting to focus on some spot between them. " _Fine, but I am still responsible for your well-being. I should be concerned_."

" _Then where were you?"_ Damnit, she didn't mean to ask that question. Angry tears welled up to Anna's eyes, and she wasn't sure who she was most angry with.

Herself, for even bringing it up.

Radek, for lying to her about Elizabeth, about himself. For showing up exactly when she didn't want him there. For being in another galaxy when she did.

Mom, for dying. For lying about Radek, about herself, about how it would all be okay.

 _I have bad news, dear_. _I have cancer._ Mom's voice was still strong, then. _The doctors think I have only a few months left._ Always strong, except for the last two weeks. Then, Mom was so tired, she couldn't even pretend anymore. Not even for Anna.

Anna's first thought wasn't even about her mother, and she'd never felt so ashamed. _What will happen to me?_ The first thought in her head. She didn't say it out loud, but Anna knew. Her mother was dying, and Anna worried about herself.

Why did she have to be so much like Radek?

" _Where were you, then?"_ she asked again, because it didn't matter anymore.

He didn't look like he meant to answer it. Looked positively in shock. " _Anna, you know…_ " His voice was low, so low she almost couldn't hear it over the blood pounding in her ears. " _I wish—I wish I had been there. I wish I never left, for god's sake, but it was better that I…_ "

" _You're right,_ " Anna snapped and blinked. Her tears spilled from her eyes. She swiped them away. " _It was better._ _So stop it_ ," Anna said. " _Stop pretending you care, or that you know anything. Because you don't. You only know this."_ Anna looked around the room, pointing outside the window. Atlantis's lights glittered above the water. " _And this."_ Anna picked up the nearest tablet and shoved it at him, complete with an abstract of a problem he'd solved to save Atlantis from destruction.

He caught the tablet, and stared at it. " _I'm here now?"_

" _No._ " Why was he lying again? Why did everyone lie? " _You're not."_ He wouldn't be here tomorrow. He wouldn't be here the next day. It was safe to say that, on the whole, he'd never be here. " _I'm going to the mainland tomorrow with Doctor Adams."_

And it didn't matter what happened there.

She ran to her room before he had the chance to answer, locking the door behind her. She leaned back and stared into the dark room. A tiny bit of light showed from beyond the blinds. She blinked the bright lights away, not bothering to rub the tears from her cheeks as she slipped down to the floor.

He could stop her, of course. But he wouldn't. She wasn't going to get into any trouble, though she might have liked to just to spite him.

But she wasn't getting in any trouble. Because she wasn't irresponsible. She was too afraid of what could happen. She was too afraid of all the things she didn't know. All the things on Earth that once seemed terrifyingly huge seemed small and manageable in the face of all the problems a relationship with an alien could introduce to her life.

Too afraid of Iskaan, afraid of getting close, afraid of being too far away.

Afraid of Radek, how he'd see her. What he thought of her.

If he thought of her.

"Máma?" Even if Anna believed in that kind of thing, she was too far away. In another galaxy. But who else was she supposed to talk to? Who else would listen? " _I'm sorry_."

What did she say to Anna? _Just give him a chance, Anna. Give him a chance_.

She tried. She really did. She tried for a whole year to give her new life a chance, hadn't she? She tried to remind herself she was alright yesterday and the day before that, but it was all a lie. Was she ever alright? Would she ever be?

Anna almost heard her mother's voice cooing in her ear, but she couldn't make out any words. Would she scold Anna? Had Anna given Radek enough of a chance?

She pulled her knees up, sobbing into her arms even though she knew no one could hear her. Especially not her mother. But this was all she had left, wasn't it? Only Pegasus. Only… nothing. " _I want to go home_."

* * *

 _A/N: Alright. That's been spring break, everybody. Good times._

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _Adela- Haha, I'm glad you liked that. I thought it was fun._

 _MissMeow1968- Yeah. Let's hope he keeps it on the down low. I suppose we can say he did his best?_

* * *

 _Next time: He doesn't know how to fix it._


	93. Mistakes

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Everything seemed so reasonable at the time (last chapter)… Really, there's a lot to explain, but suffice it to say… we're in the middle of a meltdown (since the events of approximately chapter 91)._

* * *

 **Chapter 93. Mistakes.**

Radek carefully set the crystal aside on the tray, testing the next with the Ancient multimeter. " _Come on_ ," he mumbled to the panel. "G _ive me… give me three. At most."_ Registering at just over 3.2, resistance in this wall impeded energy flow to the surrounding sections for reasons unknown. He slammed his hand on the wall next to the panel when it did not comply.

This was not enough energy to quibble over.

But what else was he supposed to do? Sulking over electrical resistance was better than the familial kind.

Anna hadn't meant to completely excise his heart like that. He had to believe that.

He thought he was beyond being hurt by these things. Atlantis was supposed to be the ultimate answer for this, for his life on Earth. If he was in another galaxy, he wouldn't think about them. Birthdays. Holidays. Graduations, promotions, _life_.

And death. The anniversary of Eliška's death was tomorrow and he wasn't going to be here for Anna. Again. No wonder she wanted to go to the mainland.

He slapped the control panel back into the wall and went to the next panel a short walk down.

This wasn't supposed to happen. But, then again, who thought that death was supposed to happen? Dying young, far too young, even when doing nothing dangerous. Radek was sure Eliška would have outlived him easily. She _should have_. Last year, when things got bad, he'd think that maybe someday word of his heroism, maybe even his death trying to save hundreds of people on this insane mission, would get back to them. Anna would remember him that way, instead of the person she never really knew.

But he hardly came here to die. He came here to _live_.

He got to do that. He really did. Atlantis was the best thing that ever happened to him, the best thing since… well, Anna. It all went downhill pretty quickly after Anna, though. Like Atlantis went downhill pretty quickly.

He paused in front of the panel cover. " _It's not as if the Wraith are your fault_ ," he mumbled.

But Anna probably hated him. She thought he had no idea what she was going through with Eliška's death, and she was right. She thought he didn't trust her—and, after all, he hadn't told her about Elizabeth. Not because he didn't trust her, or didn't want her to know, or… but how was she supposed to know that?

The Wraith might as well be his fault, too.

He shook those thoughts out of his head, pulling on the panel cover. It snapped off into his hand easily. He thread the needle between the panels and looked at the readout. Why was this conduit perfectly fine, and that one wasn't?

"Oh, it's you."

Radek sighed. "Not now, Rodney."

Rodney took a breath, looking around the way he did when he was confused or caught off-guard. On the other hand, Rodney was as good a distraction as any. "I'm not the one poking at insignificant wall panels in the middle of the night. You know, you've had a disturbingly religious worth ethic lately."

Radek set his jaw and checked the clock. He'd been working on this for longer than he should have been. Especially since he was going off-world tomorrow.

He'd be fine tomorrow. He'd survive, anyway. He'd get the job done. It would take him all day—or maybe even two days—whether he slept tonight or not.

"Find anything interesting?"

Radek glanced toward Rodney. If only he knew exactly what he'd "found" earlier tonight. He figured there was no harm in telling him. Everyone else in the city was apparently very acquainted with his personal life, so what difference did it really make anymore?

"Here? No. But earlier tonight, I stumbled across Anna and Iskaan kissing in the back of a Puddle Jumper so, yes. Interesting." That was a tame way of putting it.

Rodney looked about as stunned as Iskaan had when Radek walked in on them. "Huh."

Radek sighed and pulled back from his panel. He was never going to be able to fix it anyway.

Story of his life.

"Not that I'm concerned about the…" What was he saying? He couldn't articulate what he wasn't concerned about. He was too concerned about everything. The whole situation.

Radek waved his fingers in the air like he was trying to erase the memory in the Puddle Jumper, Anna's fingers lost in Iskaan's hair. The boy's arms around Anna, one hand at her shoulder and the other catching on the lower hem of her blouse—a legitimate nightmare.

"Right…" Rodney seemed utterly confused by the whole notion of Anna kissing someone. Radek had to admit to a similar feeling. "Well, it seems safer for her to have a crush on Ronon, now, doesn't it?"

Radek chuckled, though he didn't appreciate that, either. Why did he have to miss those carefree days when Anna was ten years old and boys were disgusting cretins? Why did he think he could jump straight into being a father to a sixteen-year-old girl?

He sighed and looked at the Ancient multimeter in his hand, showing it to Rodney. "You know, I could probably take this apart and put it back together—I could figure out a way to put an Asgard hyperdrive on a Puddle Jumper. I've built complex algorithms that the majority of humanity wouldn't understand, but I can't raise a sixteen-year-old girl."

Since he just shrugged, Radek guessed Rodney agreed. Or maybe not, since Radek doubted that even Rodney could make the Puddle Jumper be able to fly faster than light.

Rodney suddenly snapped his fingers a couple of times, then pointed at Radek. He looked like he'd just solved the problem of vacuum energy's exotic particles in native space-time. Or maybe FTL Puddle Jumpers.

"What if you took her with you?"

"Take her with me?" Radek repeated.

"Offworld."

The last time he suggested that, they were almost killed by a Wraith virus on a spaceship between two galaxies. Radek figured his expression must have said something similar.

"It's the safest planet we know of," Rodney pointed out. "Well, as soon as you get the shield up and running again."

That was true… And there was no Iskaan on that planet. Dozens of other boys her age, though. She wasn't that flighty. At least, he didn't think so. What did he know? "That isn't a bad idea."

Rodney pouted. "Give me a little more credit than that."

"All right. Good job," Radek mumbled. "But she won't want to come."

"Oh, yes, she will." Rodney came next to him and peered at the tablet. While he looked, he took a granola bar from one of his jacket pockets and ripped it open. "It'll be homework."

Radek stared at Rodney. Working on the machine would be good for Anna, yes. "You'd do that?"

"Why not?" Rodney shrugged, taking a bite of the bar. His eyes were alight with his own genius. "She's been begging me for some more practical work to do. Well, she said she wanted something 'real' to do, and I think this qualifies. I'll tell her in the morning. It was, um… inspiration that struck me in the middle of the night."

Radek had the notion to thank him, but better not. Rodney was already taking his "inspiration" a bit too far out of proportion. This wasn't looking like it was going to be a great trip anyway. Anna was going to be angry with him the whole time.

Radek hoped being angry was better than being sad. It explained her short temper tonight.

Wouldn't he like that excuse?

"What?" Rodney asked, looking hurt that Radek wasn't as pleased as he was.

He wasn't, but Rodney's idea had nothing to do with that. Radek turned his back to the wall and looked up at the ceiling, unsure what he was thinking. "I just screwed up everything," he said. There was nothing Rodney could do, and Radek was sure that the best advise Rodney could offer was to do the opposite of whatever Rodney's ideas were. But that was apparently better than everything Radek had come up with so far.

"I knew better, I really did. I should have told her about Elizabeth before everyone on Atlantis was talking about it," Radek said. He pulled his glasses off and slammed his forehead on one hand. "Do prdele, já jsem takovej debil." *

"You know, it's kind of nice to not be the on the receiving end of that for once," Rodney observed, casually taking another bite of his snack bar.

Radek took a moment to glare at him before going back to stare at the floor. "To jo, ty seš takovej vůl." ** Why was he talking to Rodney again?

"But, look," Rodney said. He moved a bit down the hallway to lean on the wall next to him. "It's not all that bad. Is it?"

Rodney really had no idea. On the other hand, he did have some idea, probably. "I didn't know what to say to her. How do you tell your daughter you're dating?" Dating one of her teachers? Don't think of it that way—Elizabeth was his boss first.

Did that make it worse?

Rodney shrugged. "Never had that problem."

Right. Who would date Rodney?

Katie Brown. Radek still didn't understand that at all.

He sighed. "I don't anymore," Radek muttered. "Because some 'gate technician named Nicholson told her. I don't even know who that is." That wasn't even half the problem. Well, maybe it was now, since it was so close. It was Elizabeth. But it was more Eliška. And he didn't know what he was supposed to do about either of those things.

He looked at Rodney. It sure would be nice to blame him for all this. He was going to give it a sporting try, but it wouldn't be any better.

"Look, I've had some experience with this kind of thing," Rodney offered.

"Oh, really?" Radek did his best to sound disinterested, but Rodney didn't take his tone that way.

Rodney just nodded. "Yeah. When I was four years old, my parents didn't tell me they were having another baby. My mom came home from the hospital with my little sister… and a lot smaller than when she'd left. I thought they didn't think I was good enough or something. Got a replacement."

Radek's face contorted in shock and disbelief. "What? No, they did not." What parent would do that? Not explain about a new baby? What sort of people would—Rodney McKay's parents, of course… On the other hand, that seemed somewhat hyperbolic, like all his other "McKay family" stories.

"They did." Rodney nodded, and smiled. "Look, parents don't always tell their kids stuff. Even important stuff. But they turn out okay, right? I mean, look at me."

"Yes, look at you." Radek shook his head, still not quite believing that his parents did that. "But you also didn't talk to your parents much, did you?"

Rodney shrugged. "So?"

He really didn't get it, did he?

Somehow, and Radek didn't know how he'd managed to not see this coming, he'd managed to make Radek feel even worse. What sort of parent got himself romantically involved and decided not to tell his sixteen-year-old?

A moron. That's what sort of parent.

Radek wasn't keen on Anna turning out like Rodney, whether he turned out comparatively "okay" or not. He hoped Rodney wouldn't be offended when he decided not to take a page from the McKay book of parenting. He hoped Rodney never decided to take a page from the McKay book of parenting. He hoped Rodney never decided to parent at all.

 _That_ was a more disturbing thought than anything Radek thought all night.

Well… almost anything.

Radek took a deep breath and nodded. He tapped the wall behind him as he stood. "Yes. Well, thank you for the advice." Now he just needed to do the exact opposite, and he should be good.

#

"Anna! Wait, Anna!"

Anna halted her walk down the hallway, her bag coming to a rest on her leg. She spun to see Doctor McKay running toward her, then he leaned over like he was completely out of breath. He couldn't have been jogging for more than a few feet.

"Yeah, I have a, uh…"

"Doctor Adams is waiting for me." Anna looked over her shoulder toward the Jumper Bay, half-expecting Radek to be waiting to tell her she wasn't going. Then what would she do?

"Look, I had an, um, inspiration last night." Doctor McKay stared for almost half a minute at her bag before looking up at her. "Okay, so you've been wanting something practical to do?"

Anna nodded. Practical. Something that didn't involve rehashing scenarios solved by Doctor McKay and Radek a year ago. Something that didn't involve just observation of Doctor McKay looking at stuff in labs on the outskirts of the city. But there was nothing going on here, as far as she knew.

"I want you to go with Radek," Rodney said. "I want you to help fix the shield generator."

Anna felt the blood drain from her face. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind when she said she wanted to do something practical, but… well, what did she expect? Radek lived the practical aspect of her homework. Never mind, he was awful at communication and he probably just spent the last few weeks blatantly lying to her face. At least, concealing something very important.

"Can't I—?"

"Yeah, there's not a lot of time, so you'd probably better get to the 'gate room." Doctor McKay stood to one side so Anna could go past him toward the tower. He grinned and pointed at her bag. "It's perfect, see? You're already packed."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Can I say no?"

"No?" Doctor McKay looked perfectly confused for a second. "I mean, why would you want to? You asked for this. Anna, you're always talking about how you want to go offworld. Do you or don't you, because I can definitely—"

Anna huffed as she walked past Rodney toward the 'gate room. "Fine, yes, I'll go!" she said, adding under her breath, "Nenávidím tě." ***

"Yeah," Doctor McKay mumbled, quickening his steps to catch up to her. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't imitate Radek in every way…"

Anna whirled on Doctor McKay, about to say—what, she didn't know. Something probably unkind, and probably in Czech, but then that would just be further proof of everything he just said.

Finally, she said, "I'm not imitating Radek. Millions of people speak Czech."

"And only a handful do here," Doctor McKay pointed out. "You're a smart girl, I'm pretty sure you can call me whatever-it-is just as well in English." He hurried to walk behind her, still talking even though Anna didn't want to hear it. "Here's the deal," he said. "You're going to help Radek fix the shield generator, and then you're going to write the report for him, okay? It's pretty much like a real mission."

"It is a real mission," Anna mumbled, trying to rein in her excitement. It actually _was_ a real mission.

Why did she always get what she wanted exactly when she didn't want it?

"Exactly," Doctor McKay said. He followed her all the way to the hallway outside the 'gate room, but didn't continue any further. He stood behind her, hands in his pockets. "Say hi to the kids for me!"

"Ty vole, 'Say hi to the kids for me,'" Anna muttered as she walked away, putting on her best McKay impression. It wasn't very flattering. "Já ti dám." ****

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* Do prdele, já jsem takovej debil = [expletive], I'm such a moron. (Thanks, Stargate. I wanna say, like, _Quarantine_ …? This is what I get for not writing these things down immediately.)

** To yo, ty seš takovej vůl. = Yeah, you're such an ass. (Thank you, _Critical Mass_.)

*** Nenávidím tě = I hate you. (Google)

**** Ty vole, "Say hi to the kids for me," já ti dám. = [expletive], "say hi to the kids for me," I'll show ya. (Thank you, also, _Critical Mass_.)

* * *

 _A/N: Can I just say it's incredibly amusing to me to give Anna Radek's words? Not even sure why._

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _MissMeow1968- Ah, but the whims of youth. He is all too familiar with these. But, yeah, it probably would have been better had he talked to Teyla. But I'm pretty sure Radek is actually terrified of Teyla. I'm terrified of Teyla. Fortunately, it worked out this time._

* * *

 _Next time: Being grown up is so complicated…_


	94. Adults

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna is practically in the middle of a meltdown (since approximately chapter 91). Radek took Rodney's advice (last chapter) because why not? Even Rodney couldn't make things worse. So Anna and Radek are going to that one planet with all the kids. Because we definitely need a few more kids in the mix._

* * *

 **Chapter 94. Adults.**

It was going to be a long day.

Of course, it was. The oldest adult on the planet was only just now an adult at twenty-five. Twenty-six? Something like that. Just barely out of young adult status, anyway. Radek didn't remember the last time he talked to someone in their mid-twenties. Probably when he was in that age bracket himself.

"Welcome, welcome."

Radek smiled and nodded while the leader of the band of children spoke to Troy. He introduced himself as Keras, and then introduced his lieutenants, Neleus and Leto. The two of them couldn't have been much older than Anna, perhaps sixteen or seventeen.

Troy offered introductions of his own, first for himself. Troy announced he was an anthropologist, and proceeded to explain what that meant in no uncertain terms. He explained that Doctor Antar was a botanist. Then he introduced Radek as basically an "Ancient repairman." Radek didn't know if he should temper his insult with the realization that Troy didn't know what he was talking about 95% of the time. The other 5%, he was just lucky.

Anna got no introduction whatsoever.

Troy said something about visiting a few of the surrounding villages while Radek worked on the machine and Antar took his samples of the planet's nearby flora. Keras seemed drastically accommodating. Maybe they didn't get a lot of visitors.

Radek didn't wonder why. This place had to be something like a frat house in the woods, didn't it?

With a glance at Anna, Radek realized why he thought this was a terrible idea. Simply terrible.

Keras listened to everything Troy had to say with apparent interest, but ended up cutting off a long-winded explanation at the first opportunity of an ended sentence. "Very good, very good." He pointed to Leto, and then at Radek. "Leto, if you could show Doctor Zelenka the machine?"

Leto nodded with the carriage of a soldier, and stood aside for them to follow her into the woods.

Radek wanted to stay to see if Keras remembered everyone's names so well. Still, he motioned for Anna to follow him as he followed Leto into the brush. He was fairly thankful that these people didn't seem to have any complex greeting rituals, or else they were more concerned about the Wraith dropping down on them with the shield out of commission.

He was mostly grateful that Leto had been assigned as their escort. Neleus looked too young, too ravenous—and Radek had never been so suspicious of young people. He just needed to relax. His daughter, this same girl who had been pinned to the wall of the Puddle Jumper yesterday, knew perfectly well how to cut a person to make them bleed out in fifteen seconds or less.

But, then, in the Puddle Jumper yesterday… Not every hunter knew a lion when they saw one.

Leto eyed Anna, maybe like she was a bit of competition that she didn't need. Or maybe she was only confused by Anna's age. After all, everyone Leto had seen from Atlantis was approximately twenty-five and older—most older than everyone she'd ever met by a decade or more. Anna was a stark contrast to the rest of Atlantis, but could have fit in here with a change of clothes… and a few weeks without bathing.

"I'm a Sixteen," Leto said suddenly, looking at Radek. "But tomorrow is my Seventeen ceremony."

"That's… impressive?" Radek wondered, and then realized that his questioning tone probably should not have been. "I think. Is it?"

"Not to you, probably," Leto said. "We were told that most of your people were thirties or more."

"Hm." Radek chuckled. "Yes, we are. I am a… uh, Thirty-Eight."

Leto's eyes bugged out, probably since she could only fathom numbers that large in quantities of acorns and arrow quivers. Then again, Leto would also probably think it was ridiculous Radek had been given his first knife ever for his most recent… ceremony.

Radek just decided to save Leto from her burning curiosity and paralyzing fear from saying the wrong thing. "And this is my daughter, Anna. She's a Sixteen, also. Only just." _Only just?_ Four months ago, more like.

Anna shot him an incredulous look.

Radek backpedaled. "Actually it has been months. I lose track of time."

Anna looked somewhat gratified, and looked at Leto. "You call yourselves by your ages?"

Leto nodded. "Yes. Before your people visited us a year ago, we would only live to Twenty-Five. We have our first Twenty-Six now."

Radek supposed an explanation of ritual suicide was in his future. He ignored it for the time being. Leto seemed to relax the further into the woods they walked, but she couldn't seem to decide who she related to more: the girl who was almost exactly her age, or Radek, who she probably matched more closely in other lifetime milestones. He wouldn't have been surprised if Leto were a mother by now.

"What, exactly, do your people… do?" Anna asked quietly, maybe just to get a conversation going.

Leto smiled at her, as though pleased to have something to talk about. "Anything it takes to live here. We survive mostly by farming, hunting, and trapping. We spend a majority of our time training our children."

Anna nodded.

So did Radek. Children were time-consuming. Anxiety-inducing. Definitely the most baffling thing in his life currently, but also inexplicably the most meaningful thing. Even though he had no concept of what that _meaning_ was, precisely.

"My son is not quite a Two," Leto offered quietly. She looked at Anna as though to wonder if she had any of her own.

"Your?" Anna looked baffled.

Radek caught back a self-satisfied grin. _Yes, Anna, sixteen is far, far too young for these things._ But he figured he couldn't just let Anna's mystified outburst linger too long. "What is his name?"

"Akylles," Leto said with a tint of pride. "But when he becomes a three, he will go to live with his father in another village. Learn to be a fort-builder."

"Hm." Radek didn't know whether to feel bad for her or not. Of course, Radek wouldn't have been involved in Anna's upbringing, either, after seven. He said the only thing he could think to say. "I'm sorry."

He stopped himself from any further thought, because he could just hear the earful Doctor Troy would give him for not giving two twigs about the differences between his and Leto's culture—or whatever the idiom was. Radek felt perfectly justified to subject the two to equal criticism. After all, Radek was from a culture where one parent could squeeze out another even in absence of violence or abuse, and he hated it. Might as well spread it around.

"Sorry?" Leto arched an eyebrow. She looked from Anna to Radek, as though wondering that Radek and Eliška must have had a similar arrangement. After all, Anna was here to learn what Radek was doing. Maybe so that she could have his job someday.

Anna's eyebrow shot up in much the same way.

"Yes, you know, children…" Radek didn't know what he meant by it now that he had to explain it.

"I will get to see him again, though," Leto said suddenly, as though having just remembered.

"Oh. I suppose that's true." And that was a consideration Radek never addressed. If the Atlantis recon team hadn't stumbled onto their planet, Leto wouldn't live to see her son become a teenager.

Radek wasn't all that much better off these people only a year ago, was he? He lived longer, but he still managed to miss the same things they did. At least they had a decent excuse for it. Being dead was a decent excuse.

Radek found himself and Anna being led down a path that led to a den with a curved stone archway. It looked like hanging and crawling vines had been recently cleared to give easier access. Unfortunately, it seemed to offer less protection from the elements. A few leaves and sticks had blown in, scattered over the ground of the den. Other bits of nature stuck in the machine's crevices and between the dim buttons.

Radek sighed, pulling an oak leaf from the machine. "Thank you. The initial assessment should take about an hour. I should have more information for Keras about what the problem is then."

"Until midday, then." Leto nodded and took a few steps back, seeming to think about that for a moment. "I will return with a meal for you?"

"Fine, thank you." Radek watched Leto turn to go back the way they'd come before saying, " _Anna, will you monitor the field strength? It isn't up, but I want to know if it flickers…_ "

Anna did so without saying anything. Radek could only imagine what she would say when she did start talking. He gave periodic instructions, which she followed. He saw her taking notes on her tablet, drawing pictures of what she saw, and she even made a few guesses in her notes as to the problem that were pretty on target.

Anna suddenly spoke up. " _How's that, though?_ " She shook her head. " _Kids already._ "

Radek sniffed in amusement. He could see how this conversation could go quickly off track, but it was better than talking about Eliška. " _Yes. Crazy_." Or maybe not so crazy, especially if people were dying on their twenty-fifth birthday.

" _Really crazy_." Anna looked at him pointedly. " _But it's not like I'm thinking about kids at sixteen. Who thinks about that?_ "

Radek hoped no one did. He happened to know he was the type to give into horror stories, though. " _Nobody,_ " he said. " _It is good to be young. Single. Best to enjoy it_." _Before you screw everything up..._ He had higher hopes for Anna.

" _But it isn't bad to not be single._ "

Radek paused long enough to untangle that. He had no choice but to say, " _No. You're right. It's not._ "

It wasn't about to stop there, was it? Radek figured he wasn't that lucky.

" _I just think it's not fair,_ " Anna said, suddenly. " _I mean, what about you and Elizabeth? You two are—well, you know?_ "

He was so stunned for a moment he didn't answer except to sputter, " _Whoa, what? Me and—okay, wait_." It took a moment for him to regain his calm. " _First of all, Elizabeth and I are adults. We are both adults from the same planet._ " He wasn't sure how else to express his hesitations regarding the Athosians other than just coming right out and telling her that she was from a planet that at least had first-world countries, Iskaan lived in a tent, and that sure made the cultural differences between the US and the Czech Republic a hell of a lot more manageable.

He didn't say anything about that, though.

" _To be frank, this is something you don't have the privilege of questioning me on_." There were probably more diplomatic ways to say that. He couldn't think of any.

" _Well, it isn't fair, is it?_ " Anna interrupted.

" _You_ ," Radek said, swinging around to look her in the eyes. He was glad, for the moment, that she was at least a little bit shorter than he was. Maybe it would serve as an ever so subtle reminder that she was, yes, a child. " _You are sixteen years old. I am thirty-eight. As much as anybody can be, I am in control of my own life and my own career. You are a child, and you are not at all in control. What should happen if the expedition gets shut down and I have to go back to Earth? I'm certainly not leaving you here with the Athosians, am I, now?_ "

Anna lowered her eyes. Shook her head ever so slightly.

" _And I know that… you are not an idiot, okay? I know that. But I don't want you to set yourself up for a broken heart. I'm afraid you can let your passion and excitement get in the way and forget to think about what might happen in the future_."

" _You're one to talk—you and Elizabeth practically decided just to forget about the consequences._ "

Radek thought he would start yelling. But he didn't. For some reason, he'd begun to equate yelling as something he did to Rodney, or to the computers. Instead, his voice got very low. " _My relationship with Elizabeth is not your business._ "

" _And my relationship is your business?_ "

" _Yes. It very much is._ "

Anna didn't seem to take that declaration with exceeding goodwill.

" _Anna,_ " he said before she could fire off another inane comment.

She fell silent after that, for a long time. Good thing, too. He needed to think.

Best not to use his relationship—any of them, since he obviously wasn't working on a great track record—as a model. After his marriage fell apart, he wasn't keen on finding anything settled or stable. But Anna's coming changed his mind… No, her coming had changed _him_ , hadn't it? Even if he was lonely, he was no longer alone. He could pretend his decisions wouldn't hurt anybody before; he couldn't pretend that now. His every decision was bound to have repercussions in Anna's life.

Nobody would blame him for capitalizing on the sudden sympathy, though. Even if he set _somebody_ up for a broken heart? Let passion and excitement get in the way?

Anyway, he would prefer any other topic above this, even though they seemed to walking around the issue like a cat around hot mash. Even if he simply told her point blank he did not want her dating that boy (much less sleeping with him, but he definitely wasn't going there) talking about his own relationship was not in question. Forget about it.

Maybe he'd be better at this if he thought about this _talk_ beforehand. He'd spent a bit more than eight months avoiding the thought. He never wanted to be the most progressive parent—hell, he decided months ago he'd settle for anything other than _most inept_ —and he was pretty sure he had decent, _progressive_ reasons to not want Anna with… that boy. Iskaan. He wanted her to be happy, yes. But he also wanted her to be safe. Not set herself up for physical or emotional pain, because that was all that could happen here.

Wasn't it?

She was sixteen—don't panic about wedding bells just yet. But wasn't this where wedding bells started?

Not for him, not at sixteen. But for all the girls he chased—since his awkward handling of social situations rarely held him back if there were women involved—the first girl he kissed ended up being the one he married… He didn't want wedding bells for himself, perhaps not ever. And wasn't that hypocritical? Why shouldn't she pursue her own relationships as she wanted?

Well, she was _sixteen_ , for one thing. He didn't think that was old enough to pursue anything that wasn't planned out, annotated, and documented.

And he already knew his way was miserable. Enjoyable and exciting. Shallow and short-lived. Still, mostly miserable, sending letters away to another galaxy to people who didn't care to receive them. But he was too far down the trail, perhaps, to turn aside.

How had he lost track of Anna? He knew very well she wasn't seven years old anymore. But when did he stop paying attention so much so that she could somehow end up kissing a young Athosian in the back of a Puddle Jumper?

" _I don't care if you think I'm stupid_ ," Anna said a moment later. " _But…_ " She took a deep breath and Radek realized those were tears she was pushing off her cheeks. " _But I didn't mean to, you know. I don't even know if I wanted—it happened too fast to think of it. It's not like I went to the Jumper Bay looking for something._ "

What was he supposed to say to that?

She still wasn't looking at him, her eyes down and away at her hands. He wished she wouldn't cry, but there didn't seem a way to avoid it now. It was fine if she was angry at him. It was understandable.

He couldn't have screwed this up any more if he'd been trying.

Radek rested his forehead on his fingers for a moment. " _How long have you been together, then?_ "

Anna shrugged. " _I don't know._ "

Impossible. Maybe not to the day, but surely she'd know down to a few days. " _Weeks? Months?_ "

" _No,_ " Anna snapped, scoffed, and shook her head. " _We're not, okay?_ "

" _So you…?_ "

" _No._ " Anna glared at him, and he stared back.

" _You're telling me I was looking at a first date?_ "

She didn't answer, but averted her eyes.

Radek replaced his forehead on its resting place. " _Good lord, Anna_."

" _What?_ " Anna demanded.

Radek went back to the machine. He had to admit, to himself, anyway, had he met Eliška four years earlier than he did, his social ineptitude would have done little to keep him away from her. When the whole world seemed to be going crazy, it was the easiest thing to just follow along. It was stupid, but… but he couldn't very well say that directly, could he?

" _I don't think you're stupid_ ," he said, finally. " _I'm only concerned that you don't—it's hard to think… about…_ " Oh, where was he supposed to be going here? " _It's hard to think in the moment, so you have to think ahead of time_."

" _I thought about it_."

Radek bit back pointing out her inconsistency. It happened too fast for her to think—that was why she needed to think of it right now. It was better to think of it last week, or the week before.

" _You think I didn't think of it?_ " Anna asked with just a hint of defiance.

Radek shrugged helplessly. " _I don't know; you said that it happened too fast for you to think. So were you thinking or weren't you?_ "

Anna didn't have an answer for him, and Radek didn't have any more questions.

They worked in silence for several minutes. The field flickered a few times, proving Radek right in his assumptions about what was wrong with the machine. Nothing was wrong with it, exactly. It had been built to last forever. Unfortunately, the last time _somebody_ took it apart, he put it back together wrong.

" _This is unbelievable_ …"

Anna looked up when he muttered to himself, and he realized that must have sounded most ungracious if she didn't know he wasn't talking about her.

Radek shook his head quickly. " _No, no, no; I mean Rodney_."

" _Oh._ " Anna seemed to consider that, and then take a closer look at the machine.

" _He must have been in a hurry. Then he was so interested in making his little software upgrades to the projection, he stopped paying attention._ " Radek dismantled the core walls one slow, methodical piece at a time. " _That's what happened_."

" _Is it so hard to say it was just a mistake?_ " Anna wondered.

He smiled grimly. " _Yes._ " Yes, it was hard.

Anna sighed. Nodded. " _Yeah…_ "

Next to him, static buzzed through one of the canvas duffle bags he'd brought with him. Major Ivanov would probably personally murder him for not having his transmitter on him or, at least, within arm's reach.

But it wasn't Major Ivanov's voice he heard as he fished the radio out of his bag. "Major Ivanov," an unfamiliar voice called. "This is Lieutenant Danforth on the _Daedalus_."

Major Ivanov spoke next. "Ivanov, here."

"Major, we have a situation on Atlantis. Orders are to remain on M7G-677 until we contact you."

"Understood."

Radek desperately wanted to know what was going on—and if Rodney needed his help. Then he remembered that Major Ivanov was a stoic Russian that didn't ask any questions and rarely gave any answers. He wasn't one of Radek's favorite military escort personnel. Not that he had one…

Oh, wait, he actually did have a favorite, now.

He picked up the radio and depressed the side button. "Lieutenant, this is Doctor Zelenka. Does Atlantis need our assistance? I might—"

"Orders are to not dial Atlantis." Lieutenant Danforth didn't seem irritated at being questioned. Of course, if it was Colonel Caldwell calling, it may have been a different story. Certainly not one of Radek's favorite colonels. Fortunately for Radek, Lieutenant Danforth seemed to know what Radek was after. Maybe it was a story he hoped he'd get to tell. "A bomb has been rigged somewhere in the Atlantis central tower to go off when Atlantis made its weekly update to Earth."

Radek wanted to argue, but he caught himself back from the brink of too much self-importance. Aside from Major Ivanov and his team of three, an anthropologist, and a botanist, Radek was one of only two or three scientists offworld. Rodney and the others could handle it. Atlantis even had explosives experts—

"Lieutenant Cadman is on Atlantis, yes?" Radek asked.

"It's being handled, Doctor. We'll keep you in the loop."

Radek put the radio down and thought about that for a moment. Rodney was fine. He always was. Usually. When he wasn't high on Wraith enzyme or trying to blow up solar systems.

He looked up and realized Anna was looking at him, all shock and concern. He tried on a smile for her. " _I suppose we will get to see what a Seventeen ceremony is like?_ "

#

The afternoon progressed much like any other, except they were not on Atlantis. Maybe it was a good thing. After all, if there was a bomb somewhere on Atlantis, Anna was pretty sure she didn't want to be there. Except Atlantis was huge. That would have to be a pretty big bomb to reach from the Central Tower to even a few blocks away from the extremities. Rodney's lab would come away unscathed if it was a normal bomb like the ones that most terrorist groups used on Earth.

Things that destroyed cars and trains… Anna didn't pay attention, only knew that every now and again the news would say something about things catching on fire and how many dead and injured. Countries so far away they couldn't even see her sky.

This planet couldn't even see the same stars Atlantis could.

If Radek was worried, he didn't really show it.

Anna couldn't help but wonder and worry what was going on back home. Home. On Atlantis.

" _If something happens to Atlantis…_ "

" _It won't,_ " Radek interrupted.

" _But if it does…_ " Anna kept on. " _If it does, we'll be stuck here_." That thought was momentarily terrifying. She didn't like it here; didn't want to stay here for the rest of her life.

He shook his head only a moment after she said it. " _No, the_ Daedalus _will come get us._ "

Oh, right… The _Daedalus_ knew where they were. Someone knew that they would be alone on the planet with no home to go to. Only sitting in a hospital room alone, because everyone else left. A body couldn't really be called someone.

" _I'm sure it will be fine_ ," Radek finished.

But how did he _know_ that?

He didn't know that.

Mom also said it would be fine, but she couldn't have seen this coming last year. Last year, the last thing she said to Anna… _It will be alright_. That, and, _I love you, Anna._ Anna hadn't said it back, like the universe would wait for it and let her live to hear it. She couldn't have anticipated Anna on another planet in one year, sitting next to an ancient alien device, wondering if her home would be destroyed by some mystery incendiary device.

She also said Radek would be there, but he wasn't. He never was. Maybe she knew that.

" _Anna, what is it?_ "

Anna glanced up, realized that she was no longer looking at her tablet and Radek was no longer looking at the machine.

" _Nothing_ ," she said quickly, trying to right her voice from a quiver.

Either he was fooled and thought she was telling the truth, or he knew she was melting from the inside out and chose to ignore it. She didn't know which was better. He held up a crystal and a wand that looked like a screwdriver. Anna had seen him use it before to isolate corrupted circuits. " _Did you want to give it a try?_ "

Anna didn't know what she was trying, but nodded. Brushed her notes aside, one hand under her eyes, and held the other hand out to take the tool he was handing her. " _What do I do?_ "

" _Some of the pathways have been destroyed by… um, corrosion._ " Not the exact word he wanted, judging by his hesitation. Maybe because the pathways were not metal and so couldn't technically be corroded. " _This will let you find the broken pathway and pull it out so it can be replaced or repaired._ " He hesitated, watching Anna watch him.

" _I know; I mean I don't know how…_ "

" _Oh._ " Radek reached for the screwdriver and hit a small button on the end of it. " _The on-switch_."

Anna nodded and watched the light blue glow for a few seconds.

" _If you know, explain it to me_ ," Radek said.

He didn't say it like a dare, like he thought she was just saying that to get him to stop talking. At least, she didn't think so. She glanced at him just in time to see him shift position on the rock he was sitting on to better observe her aligning crystal pathways.

" _It will help you learn_ ," he said.

Anna sighed. " _But you already know how it is._ "

" _Pretend I know nothing about it. Pretend I'm… um…_ " He looked around, as if he might find someone to suggest, even though Anna felt sure the name on the tip of his tongue right now was Iskaan. Iskaan knew nothing about it. " _Oh, here. Explain it to Leto_."

Radek pointed, and then paled. " _Oh, my god, are those squirrels?_ "

Anna nodded and offered, " _They look like squirrels_." She'd watched Iskaan skin squirrels once…

" _Squirrels have fur._ "

" _Only on their skin_."

Radek glanced at her, a tinge of sarcasm arching one eyebrow. " _Ah, really?_ "

Indeed, Leto had three skinned small animals hanging off strings over her shoulder. She realized they were both looking at her, and explained, "Lunch? I was going to cook for you."

"Do you want to see what we're doing?" Radek asked. Conveniently, he didn't make any comment about a squirrel's nutritional value.

Leto looked between Radek, Anna, and the bit of crystal in her hand. Anna couldn't decide if Leto looked interested or coerced. Whatever the case, before Anna could put together an offer that Leto didn't have to be interested, she'd hung her rodent-strings on a tree and knelt next to Anna.

To her surprise, Leto had already leaned closer to see what it was she was doing.

Anna decided to start at the mostly-beginning. She pulled out one of the closer crystals to show it to Leto. It was flat and clear, with milky-white information paths crossing each other like the machine's blood vessels. She showed it to Leto and pointed out the crisscrossing on the surface, leading from connecting nodes that could touch to other crystals, to the core of the crystal, a little nucleus where information processing and transmitting happened.

"You see these lines, here?" she asked, unsure exactly how to explain it.

Leto nodded, silent and in awe. Anna had to imagine she looked like that sometimes.

"They are like… they are like a tree's roots. They pull information from other places and bring it to here." Anna indicated the thick bundle of crystal circuitry near the center of the glass. She didn't know what should happen if she touched the crystal circuitry with the tool Radek gave her to use, to spread the "roots" apart and singling out a thread for repair.

"And this is the tree?" Leto asked, pointing reverently at the circuit's nucleus.

Anna pointed, too, and nodded. "Yes. It is where most of the things happen for this crystal. But if information doesn't get there, it can't work. So…" Anna paused and bent over the crystal, concentrating very hard to separate the corrupted circuit from its mates, so it could be fixed or removed. "We have to take out the roots that are broken or sick," she mumbled as she worked.

The end of the wand, when it touched the crystal panel, emitted a shot of light as soon as it touched the crystal's surface, like a tiny welding torch. As soon as the blue light touched the circuits, the crystal seemed to come alive in her hand. The circuits glowed and wiggled, where before they had been still and rigid. It was like the crystal transformed into a living thing, turning the circuits into tendrils. Anna fished around in the glass for what felt like minutes. It took her some time to figure out what it was the tool was doing exactly, but she learned she could use it to pull out single circuits by touching them, like pulling strands of hair out of a braid. The more she worked, though, the circuits spread apart and singled out the circuit she wanted on their own, almost as if listening to her thoughts.

She shut off the tool and showed the crystal to Radek. He didn't look surprised, in fact, he looked gratified. " _I wondered if it had a genetic component…_ " He held the crystal up to the light outside, where it was plain to see that Anna's restructuring had solidified, with a single circuit running across and all the others tangled up together to either side.

Anna looked at the tool in her hand. " _It doesn't do that for you?_ "

He chuckled and shook his head. " _Not so easily. I've practiced to the point where I can follow the circuits and pull out the one I want, but you went straight at the corrupted part and it wasn't a problem for you._ "

" _I was fast?_ " she asked.

Radek shrugged as he picked up a stack of chips he'd set aside. So it wasn't an inaccurate assessment… but it wasn't really accurate, either. " _Faster than I thought you might be._ "

He adjusted his glasses and proceeded to do the same thing to other corrupted crystal circuitry with the speed and accuracy that only practice could afford.

Without the gene, too…

Anna sighed. Maybe the gene wasn't everything.

Leto looked between them, bewildered. Anna blushed when she realized they were saying things she wouldn't understand. "Sorry." She showed Leto the wand in her hand. "He was just wondering if this… um, it works differently for me than it does for him because… um…?" How did she explain genes to a girl who lived in the woods and ate… squirrel?

Leto smiled when Anna's voice trailed away. She pointed at the squirrels. "I can teach you how to cook a delicious lunch from the forest."

Anna looked at the squirrel, nodding before she was really certain of her affirmative. Leto looked extremely happy, though, so Anna supposed that she could at least pretend.

She nodded. "Yes, thank you. I would like to learn."

* * *

 ** _Thanks yous & etc._**

 _Gasel- Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! It's good to know I shouldn't use "no" all on its own, like we would use "yeah" alone. For simplifications' sake, though, I'm just going to keep with "Doctor Beckett," as she's using "Doctor" as a name rather than as the word "doctor." It's a pretty fine line, and I guess either way would be okay in this case because the story itself is in English. But thank you for telling me about the professionalism thing (_ máš/máte) _! I'll have to go back and change that. See you next time!_

* * *

 _Next time: Just because you hate somebody doesn't mean you don't also love them…_


	95. But I Am

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: It's the worst day ever. What with people dying (in chapter 52), relationships being made (for Radek, in chapter 83), discovered at all the wrong times (for Radek, in chapter 87; Anna, in chapter 92), and general bad feelings due to it being the anniversary of Radek's ex-wife's death, this day couldn't possibly get worse. Oh, yeah. Atlantis is also under a bomb threat currently. And Radek just knows that he's done a fine job of screwing everything up. So, in an effort to make up for it a little, he brought Anna to the planet with all the kids for that job he has to do. And hope that distracts Anna at least a little from how terrible she must be feeling…_

 _Also **Important Author's Note** at the end._

* * *

 **Chapter 95. But I Am.**

"And you are here." Neleus stood in front of a large tent hanging between two trees. With two to a tent, Major Ivanov's team took up two, the other scientists shared a tent, and this last one was for Radek and Anna. It was on the ground, it smelled like a campfire, and all Anna wanted to do was go back to Atlantis and cry herself to sleep.

She hoped it didn't look that way.

"I hope it's comfortable," Neleus added.

"It will be fine, thank you." Radek stood to one side of the tent's opening and held it for Anna to duck inside. "I haven't seen Keras to tell him the field generator is back up and functioning perfectly."

"I'll tell him," Neleus said. He paused. "You will be here for the celebration tomorrow?"

"Probably," Radek said.

Neleus nodded, looking pleased. He thanked them.

Anna wondered if Neleus comprehended the incredible danger their friends were in at the moment. Probably not. He lived in a tent, free of danger from the Wraith. The only thing he had to worry about was eating squirrels for dinner. Anna had never worried about that before today. It was a little more concerning than she thought it might be.

"We will see you in the morning, then," Neleus said.

"Yes, in the morning. Good night." Radek ducked into the tent with Anna, letting the flap fall behind him.

Anna heard Neleus walk away while she got her bed ready. The ground was hard and dusty, but the sleeping bag was stuffed very nicely and would keep her warm in the cool night air. She crawled under the blanket and watched Radek spread his sleeping bag on the other side of the tent. He wasn't going to bed immediately, though. He pulled out his tablet.

They didn't talk. Well, they'd more-or-less argued all day, but she wasn't mad about that. She couldn't even remember what they talked about today at all. He apologized, didn't he? She never did… but she didn't really want to. Not for that.

She tried to ignore how nervous she was, but abandoned that track almost as soon as she tried.

She rolled over, away from Radek.

Her friends. Her home.

" _Do you think they're okay?"_ she whispered.

" _Who?"_

" _Atlantis_."

" _They'll figure it out. Eventually_. _Rodney is incredibly motivated when the word 'bomb' is mentioned."_ He paused. " _Understandably_." He must have gone back to reading, because he said nothing else.

Anna sighed and turned so she could see him again. That wasn't exactly what she meant. Wasn't he concerned about them? Radek considerded Doctor McKay a friend, as much as she heard him complain about him. He didn't seem bothered, though. Maybe he was just so sure Rodney could take care of himself and everyone else.

She couldn't close her eyes. She wasn't quite sure why. Her heart shivered with the possibilities that the hours held. For all they knew, Atlantis was scattered, smoking flotsam on the waters.

He must've noticed she was looking at him. " _No reason to be worried_."

A few little words didn't change the reality of the situation. Atlantis was in mortal danger and they were stuck here.

" _But I am_."

There was a long silence. He was probably trying to figure out what to say, but he couldn't know what to say. How could he? He had been away for so long and she was not the same person as the seven-year-old girl he knew when he left. That girl would have taken him at his word: there was no reason to be worried.

But that girl didn't know what the future held any more than Radek did.

The vision of a burnt, blistered, stiff body stuck in her vision whenever she closed her eyes. White room, gray smoke. Whenever her eyes were open, all she could see was an open casket surrounded by flowers. But she couldn't see inside. She hadn't looked.

She wasn't sleeping. Not tonight.

Wasn't he nervous? Did he ever have nightmares of the gruesome deaths that could befall them or their friends? Was he ever sad about losing his friends to the unpredictable whims of exotic particles and Rodney's uncontrollable ego? If he was nervous, he never talked about it. If he was sad, he didn't really let on.

Kind of like Anna.

" _I was thinking about Collins…"_ She stared at the tarp over their heads, berating herself. That was about the stupidest, most obviously-a-lie thing she'd ever said in her life.

He set the tablet down but kept his eyes on it like he didn't really want to talk about this. Like he wanted to keep working. Anna should have kept her mouth shut.

" _That was a bad day."_ He looked up at her, as if to ask her to go on, but he spoke before she got the chance to. " _Today was a bad day._ " Just in case she didn't think he was paying attention, he saw her obviously-a-lie much easier than she expected.

But to hear him say it seemed to make it ten times worse. She wasn't sure until a few moments ago that he knew it was the one-year anniversary of her mother's death.

Of course, he knew.

" _Yeah._ " Anna sat and drew her knees up, resting her arms across them. Now she could see better. But only barely.

" _I hoped being offworld would help."_

Anna wanted to believe that was a generous thought he had. But he didn't understand. He didn't understand it at all—how could he? It didn't matter where she was. It hurt no matter what. Being on another planet, in another galaxy. None of it made any difference at all.

" _You want to talk about it?"_

She shrugged. " _Collins or…?"_

He wasn't fooled by her suggestion, but he treated it like he was. " _Anything_."

What was she supposed to say that he would understand? She remembered the last day with Mom, dwelling too much on her uncertain future to be present that day. In the end, she was glad. It hurt enough. She could say something about that. Or something about this aching hollow in her chest. How her tears stung whether she cried or not.

A year. Another galaxy. Nothing was far enough away to put distance on this hurt.

She put her forehead on her knees and sobbed. " _I miss Máma. So much_."

He sighed.

She wasn't sure if she was surprised or not when he slid next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She was surprised when she leaned against him.

" _I'm sorry."_

She wanted to say something but she wasn't sure what. She couldn't speak anyway. She had tried so hard not to cry for so long. Her tears meant nothing, even less than nothing. She learned that quickly. It didn't matter what she did—she only ever felt worse.

" _I miss her so much sometimes I don't know what to do_."

" _I know_." He stroked her hair quietly.

" _I try not to_."

He paused and took a breath. " _It's not a bad thing to miss her."_

" _I mean, I try not to be sad_." She could taste her tears, feel her lungs spasm with sobs. She tried not to bring it up. She didn't want him to know. That was what she meant. Didn't mean to cry. Didn't mean to be obviously sad or miserable. " _I don't mean to bother you. You don't have to be sad with me._ "

" _But,_ " he said suddenly in a low voice. _"I am_."

She sniffed and held her breath.

He patted her shoulder. " _Just because you can't live with someone doesn't mean you don't care… or don't love them_."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and listened to him breathe. That almost made sense. Maybe that was what happened. Of course, Radek would care about Mom, at least a little. He'd loved her once, enough to marry her. Maybe Mom, somehow, cared about him.

" _I'm sorry if I ever made you think you couldn't talk to me about her. Or if I gave the impression that I didn't care about her. I always cared about her, and I always thought… well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore what I thought."_

There was a long pause, and Anna tried to think about anything but her. It wasn't working too well. A tear hanging off her nose caught her attention. A moment later, it fell on his khakis. If tears could stain… it would seem more appropriate. But they just washed off. Like they'd never been there.

" _I wish I could have seen her,"_ he said, his voice small. " _Said goodbye_."

Anna glanced up at him. She wished that, too.

He didn't look at her, though. She turned back to staring at the floor, his arm across her shoulders.

" _She was a good mother,_ " he offered. " _And she loved you more than anything._ "

Anna turned to bury her eyes in his jacket. He shifted to rest his chin on the top of her head, took a deep breath, and just let her cry. Tears rose in her chest, like she was drowning in them. Why was he better at articulating her loss than she was?

Her mother _loved_ her. Anna was her life. She was always glad to see her, she was happy when Anna laughed. When Anna cried, she was sad. She kept tabs on Anna, but not in a possessive or overly-protective way… she just wanted to know Anna was content.

" _Next to your mother's care for you, I know it doesn't seem that I do."_ He paused for a short time, shook his head. His next words were spoken into her hair. " _But I love you, Anna._ "

It was really something. Those three words. * It felt like it had been an eternity since she'd heard them, and she didn't know she missed them. They were just words… but they weren't only words, either.

" _Forgive my mistakes, will you?_ " he asked. " _I'm hopeless at this. I know I can't be like her, but I'm trying._ "

Anna didn't know what he meant, figured he had no idea, either. It was probably the thought that counted.

But it wasn't just a thought, was it? Every day she waited in the hospital, she hoped he would come for her. She hadn't been so naïve to think that things would be just as they were when she was little. She wasn't so naïve to think that he would be at all like her mother… but that wasn't what she wanted, was it?

She didn't know what to think.

Before she understood the words coming out of her mouth, she whispered, " _I know._ "

" _You know?_ "

Anna nodded and curled up just a bit closer under his arm around her. " _I know_."

Maybe it was one of life's unfair bits. People could have as many children, husbands, or wives as they wanted. Only one mother, though.

Only one father.

She had fifteen years to learn what her mother meant when she made Anna tea, when she sat at the table and listened to Anna talk about school, when she put notes of encouragement with ribbons in her lunch sack to help her through the day, or bought her new clothes just because she thought Anna would like them. When Mom did all those things, she meant to say, _I love you, Anna_.

Instead of making tea and listening to complaints about school, Radek shared his lab. He cleared a desk for her. She never used it, but it was just a few meters from his desk. He stayed right where she knew he'd be, all day, in case she needed him. It was unfair that she didn't notice until now how often he'd helped with her homework. Instead of buying things for her, because he didn't know what she liked, he tried to give her the ability to do the things she wanted to. He gave her the keys to a spaceship. She was allowed to go to the mainland. And here she was on another planet.

Days she spent in the hospital wondering if he'd come for her… and he was willing to give up this adventure of a lifetime, for her.

Radek didn't have the same words, but they meant the same thing.

She didn't miss being loved. She just missed the way her mother said it.

" _I just really miss her_ ," she whimpered.

Radek sighed. " _I miss her, too, Little_ _."_ He paused, corrected himself. " _Anna. Sorry."_

She shrugged and looked up at him. He was blurry past her tears, and bright with the tablet's light blue glowing on him.

She wrapped an arm around him. " _Actually… you can call me Little_. _I don't mind_."

#

It was the middle of the night and Anna was soundly asleep against his arm. Radek didn't want to wake her to move across the tent to his own pillow, but he figured he'd have to at some point. Tomorrow was bound to be another day of hiking through the woods, eating dangerous and adventurous foods, and anxiously eying the radio in case the _Daedalus_ should call.

Maybe sleeping in past a breakfast of squirrels wouldn't be too awful, though.

He finally just sighed and leaned back on the tree the tent was set up against. He didn't know what to expect when Anna came with him on this mission, but he didn't expect this to happen. Anna might just have easily maintained her stony exterior and justified anger.

But even the disaster of the past several weeks hadn't been bad enough to overshadow Eliška's death.

Radek sometimes wondered what happened. Somewhere along the line, he must have made some kind of terrible mistake. Or maybe Eliška had. Or maybe the mistakes were mutual. No one person could take all the blame. Placing and remembering that blame was pointless. He couldn't remember what happened anymore, and he didn't want to. He only wanted to remember the woman he'd fallen in love with, the woman he'd hoped to share his life with.

Life had other ideas, one way or another.

Anna shifted, moving to rest her head on her own arm instead. She sighed. So she wasn't sleeping, after all. She whispered, " _You didn't hate her, did you?_ "

" _No, no, no_ …" Radek was surprised how much that question hurt, even though he didn't quite know how to answer it. " _No, I never hated her._ "

Anna turned to look up at him. Her eyes were red and shiny from her tears earlier in the night. " _I wouldn't blame you if you did…_ "

" _I would._ "

Anna nodded a little, turning back to rest on her pillow. " _She wished I knew you better._ "

Radek wished that, too, and in some ways his wish had been granted. But this, under the shadow of Eliška's death? This was never how he wanted to spend time with his daughter. Probably not on another planet, either, but…

Life had other ideas.

He didn't realize before right now how much he regretted never seeing Eliška again. Not saying a proper goodbye. The last words he spoke to her were on the telephone, and he wasn't even sure what he said. It was probably something horrible, because everything he said was horrible in the end. He didn't mean any of it, but he said it anyway.

" _It's complicated, you know,_ " he said. He moved to the other side of the tent, to his own sleeping bag and pillow. He couldn't quite see her in the dark at this distance, but he could see her rubbing tears from her eyes. " _Just like you never love someone for just one thing, you'd never give up on someone for just one thing, either._ "

Anna might have thought about that while Radek zipped up the side of his sleeping bag.

Just when Radek thought he could finally sleep, she said, " _I wish you loved each other as much as I loved you both._ "

" _I wish we could have **.**_ **"**

If he were telling the truth, he didn't know what happened most of the time. Sometimes he was sure he knew, and he hated himself for it. Sometimes, he was sure he was justified in hating Eliška. But he was older now. Wiser. He would have liked to go back to fix the things he'd broken.

He finally just sighed. " _I wish a lot of things_."

He once wished for something like this, another chance to be worthy of that little girl who once worshipped the ground he walked on. He'd never be, probably, but he wasn't wasting this chance to try.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* So, yes, for those Czech-challenged members of my audience (including myself), if you ever read Radek-centric stories, you may know that "miluji tě" is two words, and it means "I love you"... in a romantic sense. So, naturally, I had to figure out if it is the same in a non-romantic sense, like in English. So I found "mám tě rád(a)" also means "I love you" and is apparently the phrase used between parents and children? I dunno, man, just be careful with words. Even the ones you grew up speaking. Anybody out there want to offer any insight? And correct me if this is wrong?

* * *

 _A/N: Guys. I'm so sorry. I am drowning in school stuff right now, since I graduate in... a month? Yeah. But I'd like to wrap this story line up here before taking hiatus for another month (or two) to finish up classes and (hopefully) find a job. I also realized to my eternal shame (and I will turn in my "Radek Zelenka fangirl" card immediately) that I forgot to post a chapter on Radek's name day. So I will be posting this today to make up for the missing name day post, another chapter tomorrow that is for last Friday that I missed, and then one on Saturday that is for tomorrow. And then, I guess, I'll see you all later._

 _Apologies again. ;-;_

* * *

Next time: More like "previously."


	96. The Story of My Life

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: It's not important. This whole chapter is basically "previously." Although, for the hyper-observant, chapters 30 and 47 and 64 and 73 could be interesting. There may be more, but those come to mind._

 _Also, do yourself a favor, and grab a sandwich or some tea or something. Don't say I didn't warn you._

 _Finally, I made all this up. I did a lot of… I dunno what to call it, research? But, you know, you can never really know what a thing_ is really _like. I've never been there. But, hopefully, it's close enough to pass. Anybody wanting to share their knowledge on, you know, Czech universities in the 80s? I'd be much obliged. And incredibly interested._

* * *

 **Chapter 96. The Story of My Life.**

It was early December, 1987. The world never changed.

Matěj leaned across the table, putting his hand over Radek's textbook, and pointed. Anyone looking might think that he was indicating some confusing term on the page. It wasn't until he whispered that Radek knew he wasn't talking about the book at all.

" _Do you know her?"_

Radek, after a dutiful pause to roll his eyes, glanced over his shoulder.

She hunched over a book two tables away, at the same table she occupied every day. The stacks behind her were dark reds and black, worn from ages in the library and the hands of a thousand students. Radek knew he was imagining it when light streamed in through the window next to her, catching on the dust in the air. Her auburn hair caught the glow, giving her a halo like a Gothic painting.

Radek noticed her many times, but that usually meant he had no idea what her name was. He'd never been closer to her than he was right now. Like he was every day. Because, in the library, it seemed like Czechoslovakia was right next door to heaven. When he was in the library, he even believed it.

He looked back at Matěj. Had he forgotten who he was talking to? " _Forget it,"_ he whispered.

Matěj grinned and leaned back, pulling his textbook off the table. He propped it up in his hands against his chest, but clearly wasn't reading. " _So you do know."_ He wasn't even pretending to read anymore. " _Who is she?"_

" _Go to the woods, Matěj,"_ Radek hissed. First of all… he didn't know her name. He sometimes wished he did, but that would require talking to her and, well, yeah, that always went well.

" _What is she studying?"_ Matěj craned his neck to, maybe, get a glimpse of the words of the page of the book she studied. Obviously, he hadn't yet divined a socially acceptable reason to go over there and just ask her. Or at least walk past to get a better view.

Radek shook his head, and went back to optics. Optics… Basically, the study of light. He looked back up.

She seemed irritated about whatever she was studying, thinking as she pressed the end of her pencil on the tip of her cute nose.

" _No, you don't."_ Matěj slapped Radek's arm. " _I saw her first."_

Radek spread his hands on the table before him, almost flipping his pencil across the table. " _What?"_ he rasped. " _She's here every day!"_

" _She is?"_

" _For god's sake…_ " Radek went right back to optics, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and trying to focus. This was as close as he was going to get to light in his lifetime, so might as well make the best of it.

He knew as soon as she sat down every day. The hair on the back of his neck stood up like he was about to get struck by lightning. Her perfume smelled distinctly of almonds.

"G _o back to your…_ " He waved helplessly at Matěj's coursework. " _Whatever that is_."

They both had exams to study for, and the only one between the two who didn't need to study was Radek. He knew his material backwards and forwards, and could never achieve higher marks than he was already getting. The best of his class, far and away. Wise men said it was lonely at the top, but maybe they didn't consider that only lonely people reached the top. Radek knew he was bound for both for a long time.

His parents had known since he was small that he was bright. Solidly working class, they'd impressed upon a small Radek the importance of silent obedience, despite his own thoughts. They were careful, quiet people, who had their own thoughts and held onto them tightly. They had high dreams for their oldest. Dreamed he would do something important. Dreamed he would see the world new, not this bleak, gray life they knew. They dreamed he would leave them forever. But the spring drifted into their distant memory, and the world never changed.

Radek was like them. Careful and quiet. He guessed people were like the world. They never changed, and it didn't matter what their dreams were.

" _Yeah, yeah, whatever…_ " Matěj said absently. " _I know this stuff like I know my own shoes_." He stood, leaving his books on the table they shared, but his new vantage didn't give him the view he wanted. He looked down at Radek. " _I'll be back_." He winked and walked away toward the girl, casting a surreptitious glance over her shoulder at the book she was reading. He kept right on walking and out the door of the library.

Radek lost sight of him, but it didn't matter. As soon as Matěj left the library, the girl two tables away decidedly planted her forehead on her book. She sighed. Radek couldn't believe Matěj was missing his chance…! Radek wasn't one to capitalize on things like this. Was he?

He was twenty, now. It was 1987. The world was changing.

Radek picked up his book and walked toward her table. He was sure, by the time he reached her, she would have heard him breathing. She didn't look up, though. He leaned over ever so slightly to see the page under her hair.

Gravity and magnetism. Physics.

Maybe there was a god.

Now all he had to do was broach a conversation without some lame comment about the attractive properties of magnets.

" _Hey,"_ he whispered.

She popped up, looking put out by his interruption. A little confused. Definitely suspicious.

" _Sorry. Need, um…?_ " He motioned helplessly at her book, not sure what he was saying anymore. " _I can…_ " He looked down at the book in his hand, the one on optics. The light shining in the window was so bright he could barely see. " _Are you okay?"_

What was so hard about saying, _I'm good at physics_. _Can I help you? I'm Radek, by the way._

" _Oh."_ She looked down at her book, color rising to her face as she smiled. " _Yes, I'm fine, thank you."_

He looked at her book, pretending to read it for the first time. " _Do you study physics?"_ It was a higher level course, too. The first girl he'd ever met who wasn't studying… he didn't know. Whatever it was they studied. His classes were so male-dominated, he could go days without seeing a single woman. " _I study physics, and…_ "

He lost wherever he was going.

She looked at her book, then back up. " _I don't. Not exclusively_."

" _Um…_ " He walked around behind her chair and pulled out the one next to her. He couldn't speak. She hadn't told him she was busy, yet. Hadn't made some sideways reference to having to meet someone in a couple of minutes. That was new.

He tried to swallow the dumpling in his throat. " _Need help?"_

She gave him half of an uncertain smirk, narrowing her eye in his direction. " _I think I've got it, thanks_."

He didn't have time to sit down in the chair before she turned him down. " _Oh. Okay. Good luck, then_." He started to walk away but his feet wouldn't continue. He stood between one floorboard and another for what felt like minutes. He heard her pencil rubbing the page. Her handwriting was lovely—he'd seen it for just a second. Her name began with an E.

He turned back to her. She must have heard him, because she immediately stopped writing. " _Maybe you need a break, then,"_ he suggested. " _It's good for, you know, getting your mind back."_ He frowned at his inept attempt to ask for a date. If that's what he was asking.

Maybe he was, because she smiled. Maybe she would have laughed if they were outside, but she kept it low in the library. "G _etting my mind back?"_

He shrugged helplessly, tried to smile. Only a step back to the chair next to her. He leaned on the back of it. " _I'm Radek Zelenka. You wouldn't want to, uh…_ " He shook his free hand idly. " _Drinks? Can I buy you a drink?"_

She was still smiling, but the way women usually did when observing a child playing, or a small dog trying to climb stairs. Radek didn't know if either of those were an apt comparison for him, but it might as well be. Women didn't go for drinks with children or puppies.

He tapped his fingers on the back of the chair. Let go of it, finally. " _I'm sorry to bother you_." He slid his glasses off as he walked away. Better if he couldn't see any pitying glances as he walked by. If anyone even noticed. Better not see that, either.

" _Eliška_." He heard her voice behind him so he stopped. Again. " _Eliška Hajeková."_

Radek turned back, unsure what to make of her closing her books, gathering her pencils and sheets of paper. " _Eliška_ ," he whispered, watching her step up next to him, her books in her arms. It was a beautiful name. It matched her perfectly.

" _Where did you have in mind?"_

Radek smiled, shrugged. What did he have in mind? He completely _lost_ his mind, because he couldn't think of any bars. He was broke, anyway. But it didn't matter.

It was 1987, and the world had changed.

#

April, 1988

Radek didn't know what happened. Here he was, sitting on the floor of Eliška's apartment against the couch. Eliška always sat on the floor at home, regardless of the number of chairs available. He'd gotten so used to it he stopped thinking it was strange. She leaned comfortably against him, his arm around her, like she had been for the past twenty minutes. Maybe it was twenty minutes… She was engrossed in reading her own book while he was supposed to be reading, too. The words on the page wouldn't stick in his head.

He sighed and tried, again, to focus.

Eliška shifted and shut her book. She slid closer, though he wasn't sure how she managed it, and rested her head on his shoulder. " _I could use a drink. Do you want something?"_

Radek shook his head. How could he possibly want anything?

She sighed happily, nodded, and stood up. She walked to the kitchen, out of sight. He could hear her fumbling with glasses.

Four months ago, Radek stumbled through a conversation about gravity and magnetism. He must have managed to avoid disaster, because four days after that, he waited for her in the library to hear how her exam went. She said she passed splendidly. She said it was thanks to him. They went for drinks to celebrate.

Matěj figured out why Radek was inexplicably cheerful. He forgave Radek three days later.

Radek found himself carefully aligning his schedule to catch a glimpse of her during the following semester. They spent time together, studying, eating lunch, talking, sometimes just walking. They played chess, and danced three nights a week. Eliška said it helped her think. She thought best by going places and doing things… and he was willing to go places and do things because she would be there.

She had to notice, though, that he was not like her. She was so comfortable in social situations in a way he never was. He envied that and tried to emulate it. He did alright, but never felt like he belonged there. He was much happier in smaller groups. Even then, he had the feeling their friends tolerated him only because he was more-or-less attached to Eliška.

He began to feel as though something was missing if he walked beside her without her hand in his.

Eliška returned, sitting back beside him. Glass of water. She resumed her station nestled under his arm and opened her book to the page she'd left off. She put her hand on his knee for a moment. " _I love you_." Her voice came in a whisper, like she was unsure about saying it or didn't quite want him to hear.

Oh, but he'd heard.

He glanced at her sideways. " _Why?"_

It was an accident. He already said it before he realized that he even thought it. Shouldn't have asked. She might realize there was no sane reason why they should be sitting together like this. He had every reason to love her. She was smart, with dreams and ambition. Their talks skirted deeper topics and territories they dared not tread for fear of their futures, but enough to know that when the world was ready they'd be there to change it. She was beautiful, kind, and independent. He'd take the blue from the sky for her.

Eliška tilted her head, adopted that little smirk of confusion she took on whenever he said something baffling. It happened a lot in social settings.

She closed her book and pulled back to face him directly. " _Did you just ask 'why?'_ "

" _Never mind."_

" _Isn't it the usual response to say 'I love you, too'?"_ she asked.

" _Of course, I love you._ "

She put her book down to one side, and took his book from him. She closed it, watching him carefully.

He couldn't very well ask a question of her that he didn't intend to answer himself. She was beautiful, but she knew that. He must have told her about her smile a hundred times in the last week alone, how it gave a day meaning when nothing else made any sense. Answering why he loved Eliška seemed like it could take a lifetime.

" _You make me better, you know_ ," he said simply. He turned his eyes away from hers; he always felt like he might get lost if he looked too long. He focused his attention of a lock of hair on her shoulder instead, reached out and turned it in his fingers. " _You always bring an extra pencil_."

She laughed. " _What?_ "

" _I always forget my pencil. You let me borrow yours._ " That sounded absolutely ridiculous.

She looked even more bewildered and he couldn't help but smile. Her smile always made him happy.

" _I don't know what I mean_." Radek leaned his head back on the couch behind him and stared at the ceiling. When he thought of something, he turned his head to see her again. " _You have what I'm missing._ " That sounded closer to what he was talking about.

How could he put everything wonderful about her into just words?

" _I see_." She seemed to think about her own answer. He didn't know whether the length she took to think should make him feel better about it or not. Then she laughed. " _For one thing, you're the only one I know who puts up with Violka_."

And he'd tried so hard to hide his absolute disdain for the woman. Eliška had been studying once a week with her friend, Viola, for years. Radek went with her to study also, but only because Eliška was there… not because he enjoyed the company otherwise. " _I'm sorry, but I've never met such a…_ " How to put _boorish narcissist_ tactfully…?

" _No, no, you're right_ ," Eliška interrupted with a hand on his chest before he could say what he really thought of Viola. " _She's rude and conceited and she's not as smart as she thinks she is. I don't know how I put up with her sometimes, but… well, what can I say?_ "

Radek knew what to say. " _You are as generous with your time as you are with your pencils?_ "

Her amusement was averted by Viola's intrusive presence, whether she was literally in the room or not. " _She's like a sister. But you… you still listen to everything she says and I don't know how you do that._ "

Radek shrugged. " _It's easy to say nothing_."

" _No, that's difficult. Anyone else might just bite her head off, tell her to shut up, set her straight._ "

Anyone else had better a better grasp of putting words together, too, but he'd better not remind her of that. The only thing he could think to say about her was her stash of pencils. Why was he sitting here next to her?

She smiled. " _And…_ _you probably could, you know. You're the smartest man I've ever met_."

He chuckled and shook his head. " _No, I'm not_." He wasn't stupid, but it was practically impossible she'd never met anyone smarter. There were so many who fit the description. She was just saying that, and he didn't even mind. Wasn't it the thought that mattered?

" _That's another reason I love you_." Eliška leaned forward, her lips meeting his.

He might have enjoyed it more if he hadn't been thinking. Because he was the smartest man she ever met… and because he wasn't? How did that make any sense? She pulled away, and he glanced down toward her hand for just a moment before meeting her eyes again. It would be better to not question it. As long as it made sense to her, he didn't have to understand. It was probably better if he didn't.

" _And…_ " Her hand drifted down to his collared shirt, the beige sweater over it. She slid closer. " _You look so good in these_ …" She fiddled with a few of the buttons.

She was clearly just joking now, a grin tugging at the corners of her lips.

" _Ela?_ " he said softly, brushing his fingers under her chin. " _You know, you really are—_ "

She cut him off with another kiss.

He wasn't sure what happened. But here he was.

#

October, 1990

Married. A parent. The world was falling apart, and not just because he wasn't sleeping and wasn't sure what he was doing with his life anymore. He looked over his shoulder at the little baby sitting on the floor, gnawing on a plastic green block.

He smiled, watching her eyes twinkle when she noticed him looking at her. " _Does that taste good?"_

She giggled at the sound of his voice, and waved the block enthusiastically. "Tata! _"_ she squealed. The block flew out of her hand, smacking the nearby chair and clattered to the floor. She looked at it with disappointment.

Anna wasn't one to be distressed for long. She clumsily leaned forward, planting her hands on the floor. She crawled across the carpet with determination but got distracted before she reached the block, instead pulling herself up to stand next to the nearby chair. She looked on top of the chair like something was up there, when nothing was there at all.

Sort of like Radek. He wasn't sure when the last time was he didn't get distracted trying to work. He always felt like he was looking for something that wasn't there.

Whose idea was a double major? _That's right, stupid. Yours._ He was never going to finish this, was he?

At least, like Anna, he was pretty happy most of the time. Bouncing back from distress after accidentally throwing something out of reach.

On the other hand, waiting for Eliška to get back was pretty stressful. He had to leave in ten minutes to get to class on time. She'd never been this late before… He knew their schedules were delicate, and… No, this was a disaster. An absolute disaster.

"Tata? _"_ Anna held a hand out to him.

Radek sighed and slid out of his chair to join Anna on the floor. "I _don't know where she is, Little."_

He picked up one of her stuffed animals. This one was a butterfly in bright red and yellow colors, her favorite. In fact, she seemed to love all butterflies, from pictures to toys. She abandoned the chair, turning and trying to step toward him boldly. She collapsed, landing on her bottom. She giggled, though, spreading her hands toward him expectantly.

" _I don't suppose you know anything about gravitational potential?"_ he asked her as he picked her up and set her down on his leg.

Anna reached for the stuffed butterfly, babbling away with certainty in words that only slightly resembled their counterparts in a dictionary. She solemnly patted his chest, finishing her nonsense sentence with a strong glare. He could swear she understood every word he said sometimes. Scolded him for talking about things she couldn't possibly fathom.

He nodded, patting her soft head gently. " _Insightful… I don't think I've heard an explanation where quantum gravity was integrated so seamlessly."_

She looked more-or-less pleased with his pronouncement, and so continued her exposition. Probably about the butterfly, and he was content to listen. Sometimes he thought he heard a real word or two, but she was a while away from forming actual sentences. Sometimes she referred to a thing by its name, like sometimes she'd call a block or a ball what it was. Her favorite words to say were, by far, "tata" and "máma." And "motýl."

He smiled and flicked the stuffed insect's cloth wings. " _I don't know why you are talking about the butterfly effect, though_." She wouldn't appreciate the joke. Chaos theory should have meant more. A baby was nothing if not chaos. Enlightening, yes. But complete chaos.

"Motýlí," Anna said with authority.

He picked up another nearby toy, a large plastic tiger that she liked to chew on more than anything else.

Anna banged her butterfly's head on the tiger. " _Oh,_ " she whispered. She looked at him in surprise.

Radek responded by imitating the sound of a tiger. Or maybe it was a lion sound. Whatever, she was a baby. She didn't know. On the other hand, she might grow up thinking that tigers roared, when they didn't. Radek knew nothing about tigers. Lions either. There were no tigers here. Wherever "here" was.

Everything was changing, and it scared Radek to death. He wasn't sure why. Maybe just because he was a naturally timid person who didn't like change. Things had to change, of course, and he'd been thrilled, not too long ago. Uncertainty took its place.

Uncertainty of the future, of whether all this learning he'd done would be useful. If he could provide food and shelter for his family. If they'd done the right thing, bringing this little baby into a world that wasn't sure what it was doing. To parents who didn't know what they were doing even more.

Anna was in a constant state of uncertainty, but she seemed happy. She could be certain of Eliška and of Radek, and that was all she needed. Just last year, he'd been wondering if he should have been one of the ones to change things before he realized he wasn't that kind of person. He didn't know what kind of person he was, but he was more the type to not do things than to do things. As long as the status quo didn't kill him, he was alright.

He just didn't know. The status quo might kill him.

Anna's voice drifted away into quiet while she pulled on the butterfly's head. "Tata? _"_ she wondered.

" _Yes, Little?"_

She held the butterfly up and made a motion up toward the chair, saying words that weren't exactly words. He was pretty sure he knew what she wanted, though. He leaned around the chair and pulled a small picture book from the shelf.

" _This one?"_ he asked her.

She took the book from his hands and pointed at the picture of the bugs on the front of it. A grasshopper, two ants, and some sort of beetle playing a tuba. She assigned a series of sounds to it.

" _The beetle?"_

She opened the cover.

It was entirely a picture book with cardstock pages, filled exclusively with animals and insects doing very strange things. There were no words, but it probably wouldn't make much sense even if there were. Radek had listened to Eliška make up story after story to go along with the pictures. She asked Anna questions and listened attentively when Anna said a million things that didn't make any sense.

Anna leaned back against him and looked up, waiting for him to make up some sort of scenario in which a beetle would play a tuba.

He didn't get to start. The door opened and Eliška came in. Her keys jingled when she tossed them aside. Her coat cast on a chair and her shoes hit the wall when she kicked them off. Anna was already crawling toward her, laughing so hard she seemed to barely breathe.

" _Baby girl!"_ Eliška said, scooping her off the ground and put a big kiss on her cheek.

Anna gave a kiss back, rather sloppily.

" _Hello, Ela_." Radek put the book on the chair and met her at the room's threshold.

" _Dearest_ ," she said. She kissed his cheek and waited for him to return it. " _Sorry I'm late."_

Radek checked the watch on his wrist. It was still early in the semester and he was ready for it to be over. In the spring, he couldn't wait to go to class… It was easier than being at home. He felt guilty thinking that, but babies were so demanding. Sometimes he slept in the library for a half-hour before going home after classes. He told Eliška he was studying.

He finally just shrugged. " _It's okay_."

" _Ráďa…_ " Eliška sighed and put her hand to his face. " _I feel like I never see you anymore."_

He smirked. " _You don't, really."_

" _I know_."

He went to put his books in his bag. Eliška frowned and watched him, rearranging Anna on her hip. She was unhappy, he was unhappy, and there was nothing either of them could do about it. At least Anna was happy.

" _We'll be done with this soon_ ," Eliška offered.

Radek tried not to chuckle derisively as he turned. " _When? Another semester and I'm only off to more classes, harder and longer. Research assisting, paper writing, and… more, still more! Always more, Ela…_ " He sighed and shook his head before he could say what he really thought.

Why did she want children _now_?

It was a mistake. He said it over and over again, but she was persuasive. Not that he regretted it; no, he loved Anna. He loved Anna more than he expected to. More than he ever expected to love almost anything. He just wished they'd waited. They had their whole lives, right?

" _This is insane_ ," he finished quietly.

She looked shocked and upset. What did he expect? Even Anna looked distressed at his tone. He'd apologize, but Anna wouldn't know the difference… Eliška would, though.

" _I'm sorry, I just…_ " He put a hand through his hair and picked up his bag. " _I'm sorry, Ela. I have to go_."

She caught his arm, putting a kiss on his cheek as he met her eyes. They glistened with tears. " _I miss you_."

" _I miss you, too_ ," he returned. The most honest words he'd spoken in what felt like ages. He hated lying to her, pretending that everything was okay.

Everything was okay… Unless he thought about it too much.

Eliška blinked her tears away and said, " _Wait, are you bringing anything with you to eat? You have to eat_."

She hurried into the kitchen and Radek knew he was supposed to follow.

Eliška wiped off Anna's face, even though it was clean, and set her down on the floor. Anna wasn't pleased with that, whimpering as she crawled around after Eliška. Eliška handed Anna a rohlík to quiet her before continuing with what she was doing. She was making him some food, no idea what.

Radek didn't want to tell her not to, even though he usually went without lunch just to help their ends meet at the end of the month.

She pulled a few extra ingredients, as well, probably to cook dinner. Something with flour and sausage. Probably soup. It was always soup. Radek didn't know how they survived. Food was scarce, work was worse, and it there was never a guarantee there'd be more of either.

Anna was far from the most circumspect decision they'd ever made.

" _Things could change, dearest_ ," Eliška said softly.

Things could change, yes, but what would that mean? Just because things changed didn't mean they became better. Radek's life changed for the better, he was sure, when he met Eliška. He was sure someday he'd think of Anna as his life's best blessing. But those changes were small, and didn't put food on the table. On a large scale, when things changed they got worse…

That foundational belief made him unsure of the reliability of the country his little one was born into. The country he'd been born in was gone… If the last year taught him anything—new country, new wife, new baby—it was that things changed. Change was nothing if not difficult.

Radek didn't want to tell Eliška that, though. Not while she was shortening sausage with vegetables she grew on the back patio.

Things had to get better.

" _Yeah…_ " he agreed tentatively as he took the sandwich Eliška offered him.

When he looked down, he saw Anna sitting next to his foot, looking up with outstretched arms. She apparently wasn't very interested in her cookie. He knelt down and playfully poked her belly. She giggled and grasped at his hands, but she wasn't quick or nimble enough.

He still couldn't help but smile when he saw her. " _Sorry, Little. I have to go. Someday you'll understand."_

#

March, 1993

She was much later than she said she'd be, but that had been happening a lot lately. Especially this week. Her nights kept getting later and later, skipping dinner and going straight to bed only to get up early in the morning with Anna to make sure she got dressed nicely and fed a healthy breakfast. Radek doubted Eliška did as much for herself, but there was little he could do about it.

" _Ela? What time is it?_ " he asked, listening to her slacks hit the wall before falling into the laundry basket.

She didn't answer until she turned one of the lamps near the wardrobe on to find her night clothes. " _One-thirty_?"

One-thirty. Damn. He sighed and propped himself up on an elbow, turning on the lamp next to the bed. He kept quiet until she slid into a light blue shirt and closed the wardrobe door. " _Are you hungry? I can—"_

" _No. Thank you._ "

Eliška almost stomped across the floor, but her steps were carefully modulated so as not to wake the sleeping three-year-old down the hall. Given that she'd slept through Eliška's closing the front door, Anna was a heavier sleeper than Radek was.

Heaving a sigh, Eliška slid under the covers, turned away from him, and covered her head with one arm.

" _Want to talk about it?_ " Radek wondered.

" _I want to sleep._ "

He didn't say anything. She never wanted to talk about it, and even if she did there wasn't anything he could do to make it better. Their spheres of academia sometimes overlapped, but somehow they managed to keep each other out of their respective intersecting circles. Eliška dealt with theoreticals as much as Radek did, but hers were somehow more abstract. At least Radek had the luxury of pretending he could see what he was talking about. It was difficult to visualize the birthplace of prime numbers.

He switched the lamp off and stayed still.

She was crying. Why was she crying?

" _Ela…_ " He leaned over to put his hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away.

" _How was Anna tonight?_ "

That wasn't a question to be answered without significant thought. If he said she was fine, would she bring away the impression that Anna didn't need her? If he said Anna was upset, she would feel even more guilty for not being there. Perhaps even more since her problems weren't likely to magically solve themselves overnight.

Radek pulled the quilt back up to his shoulders. Answer without answering. " _I don't know what it is about peas, but she acts like I'm trying to poison her whenever I give her a bowl of them_."

Eliška laughed a little. That was good. " _She'll grow into them._ " Her laugh turned into a sob.

" _Ela… maybe it would help…?_ "

" _It won't help_ ," she whimpered. " _I found out yesterday that one of my datasets was contaminated. We've been analyzing and integrating this for two or three weeks. And now not only do I have to start over, but I have to undo a lot of the work that I've already done._ "

Radek was only a little familiar with the work she was doing, since their discussions about work and research was usually bookended by talking about Anna. He knew that it was important work for her undergraduate thesis… She already felt she was behind in her coursework, a feeling probably made all the more acute since Radek completed his undergraduate degree a while ago.

He tried to tell her she shouldn't try to keep up with him, but there was no tactful way to say that without sounding conceited or condescending. He was intellectually exceptional, but completely boneheaded when it came to social interactions. She wasn't either of those things. She was most definitely not an idiot; she was very intelligent, and she understood people better than he could ever hope to.

" _I feel like I haven't seen Anna in weeks._ " She took a small breath. So it wasn't necessarily only falling behind, either. It was Anna. He thought he was just tired from watching Anna. Three-year-olds were like blackholes… sucking in all light and energy, unknowable, unpredictable, the greatest mystery that could only be measured by how much of a mess it left lying around.

" _And you,_ " she finished quietly.

He'd decided that he only had the capacity to understand just one person, and he hadn't mastered that. He liked to try, though.

" _I miss you, too._ " He put his hand on her arm and hoped she wouldn't push him away again.

It took a moment, but she turned. She swiped her tears away and leaned her head on his arm. A few seconds later, she slid closer, one hand on his chest. He knew before this moment, but not quite so intensely, how long it had been since she was in his arms like this. She could have been a complete disaster in her eyes, too tired and careless to bother being attractive, but he never ceased to find her anything short of enticing.

He settled for a kiss on the side of her head. She seemed to take kindly to it, cuddling closer.

" _I can fix it. It will just take… a really long time._ "

" _Is there anything I can do to help?_ " He'd asked this before. He'd ask it again.

She always said no. " _It's fine. I don't need help_."

Radek didn't prod her to change her mind. After she'd learned he was such a quick study, he could keep up with her in a lot of the classes he wasn't even taking, she stopped asking for help. She was proud. So was Radek, so he understood Eliška's wanting to solve her own problems, do her own work. She never met a problem she couldn't solve herself, and she didn't make mistakes.

And here she was, suffering for someone else's mistakes. Why couldn't she ask for help with that?

Not that either of them had all the time in the world. Would he have time to help her if she asked? He didn't know if he could make time, now that he thought of it.

" _The instructions for dinner weren't too complicated?_ " she asked a moment later.

It was Radek's turn to laugh. " _I think I could have figured it out even if it were rocket science._ "

" _Did you give her a bath?_ "

Damnit. How did he forget that? " _Um… no… I, uh, forgot. Sorry._ "

She stayed quiet.

" _But I did make an extra plate, so that's why I wondered if you were hungry._ " She should eat, after all. Not eating was bound to make anyone upset, even someone as usually-even-tempered as Eliška.

" _It's fine; it's not important._ " She sighed and shifted closer.

He wanted to argue that it probably was important, but thought better of it. There was no reason to convince her to be angry with him. He rested his chin on her head, listening to her breathe. Her hair smelled like her lab, like a combination of old paint and re-heated leftovers. And almonds. He always noticed it when she walked by.

" _Dearest?_ "

" _Hm?_ "

" _Can we just…_ " She sighed, and her voice quivered. " _What if we just left?_ "

" _You mean a holiday or something?_ " Radek felt guilty that they hadn't enough money before to take any leave for years, no matter how small. Now that they had some money, he didn't have any time. And neither did she.

" _No, I mean, just leave. Just go somewhere and not have to… bother with this anymore_."

She couldn't have been serious. Radek didn't know how to respond. It might have been a real question in another life, but not this one. Not this life where they were top students, with lives and jobs, with a daughter down the hall. They'd skipped on the ability to go anywhere and do anything. He didn't regret the life he'd chosen. She probably didn't, either.

" _I guess… I don't know. I'm not good at planning._ "

" _It's not planning, Ráďa, it's… doing whatever we want._ "

They'd really missed out on that, hadn't they? Radek missed out on that because he would never do that, even if they were twenty-six and free of responsibility. " _I'm even worse at spontaneity._ " He sighed and tried to make her words fit reality. " _My sister could take care of Anna for us. If you really wanted to go somewhere._ "

Eliška sighed and shook her head against him. " _No, no, you're right. You're right. Why am I thinking this?_ "

Because she was tired? She was hungry. He'd learned that sometimes it was better just to let her talk herself out of unthinking thoughts. She didn't want solutions to her problems. She never wanted solutions, which was good, because he had precious few to offer this situation.

It wasn't a bad idea, though. Radek had no doubt that Emílie would take care of Anna for them for a week. He could find a place to get away outside the city. He could surprise her. But if he did that, she'd wonder what in the world he was thinking, taking them away from their jobs and Anna for that long.

He wanted to, but he knew that he'd never be able to pull that off, anyway. It was nice to think about.

" _I hope your day was better,_ " she said quietly.

His day was mostly awful. Some of the others in the lab were insufferable morons. It was all he could do to keep a civil tongue around most of them while he fixed their mistakes. But he could come home and spend the whole evening with Anna. They played board games, though not the way the rules prescribed. He watched her color while he tried to reconcile a notebook full of equations that weren't playing nicely. Then he tucked Anna into bed about six hours ago with a story about a swan. The equations still weren't cooperating.

" _It was,_ " he answered. " _I'm sorry yours was so terrible…_ " With that, he sighed and ran his fingers down her arm. " _I wish I could do something to help you_."

But she wouldn't let him. So what was he supposed to do?

To his surprise, she curled closer and wrapped an arm around him. " _You do._ "

#

September, 1994

" _Are you serious, Míla?"_ It was like he'd never used a camera before.

It was 1994, and the world was new.

It felt new, anyway. Radek had a new job, being paid to attend school. Someone out there was giving him money to get his doctorate in physics. His hours were filled with math and science at the university, not giving him a lot of time for things like this.

Things like family. Things like the park. Things like cameras.

Anna darted back and forth on the sidewalk, laughing as she chased invisible butterflies with her net. Radek and Eliška walked side-by-side on the walk, hand in hand for most of the way. Radek's younger brother, Miloš, not so young anymore, followed them with his new camera. His obsession with cameras managed to predate his obsession with currency—west German, UK, and American currency, specifically, though Radek like to think that his familiar koruna would be worth something someday.

Miloš had always loved cameras, taking pictures of everything in vision. Today was no different, and he apparently brought many rolls of film to document the occasion of a walk in the park.

Eliška hooked her arm in his and laughed, shaking her head. " _No, please, take more pictures_." She gave Radek a glare. He couldn't tell if she meant it playfully or not. " _He's impossible to photographically capture otherwise_."

" _Not impossible_ ," Radek objected.

" _You don't like cameras, do you?_ "

Radek shook his head. " _I don't have an opinion._ "

He didn't mind cameras, usually, when he was near one. But he wasn't near one very often. Eliška somehow managed to have taken hundreds of pictures of Anna in a very short time. Many of them were of Anna intently inspecting the local insect population. Even Miloš, who had only been with them a few hours, was keenly aware of her interest in insects and took to calling her "Little Bug" instead of anything remotely close to her given name.

Sometimes Radek could pretend that he'd been there for the times these pictures were taken, but he knew very well he wasn't. Maybe he should have been more jealous of the space before the camera. Prove he was here sometimes. He didn't know when the top of Anna's head reached his belt, but it felt like yesterday he could hold her entirely on one arm.

He wasn't so oblivious that he'd missed it all, but he felt like he was missing more and more as time went on. He was spending more and more time working, while Anna was growing up and Eliška was neglecting more and more of her work to be with her. Or perhaps neglecting her courses so that Radek could continue on his path. Radek didn't watch Anna as many nights a week as he used to…

Anna ran behind them, squealing and ordering her invisible beetles to come back and let her catch them.

" _Thank you for this, Miloš_ ," Eliška sighed happily. " _It is a beautiful day and I think Ráďa might have stayed home with his calculators if he had the chance."_

" _Sounds like the brother I remember_ ," Miloš said. He snapped another photo of Anna running into the dying grass, stopping to pick up a twig with brown leaves still clinging to it. " _Thank you for inviting me to see you_."

Radek still didn't trust Miloš, and Eliška knew that. He had a bad habit of borrowing money and never returning it. He had many bad habits, but that particular one led to his lying and cheating. Radek tried to get him to straighten his life out through various means. Eliška apparently thought a home meal would help.

" _You're always welcome_ ," she said.

That was going too far. But it was unlikely Miloš would come calling again any time soon. Radek knew from experience that he dropped in and out of others' lives at his convenience, and usually to ask for things.

But Eliška was happy, and Radek was content to let her be.

It was an illusion. It was like Miloš trying to trick him into giving him another bundle of crowns, because he'd pay it back this time, _he swore_.

Radek kept doing the same old thing, too. He was no better than Mila. He would spend this weekend with Ela and Anna, _he swore_. Today it worked out, but it was a rare day. Like Eliška said, it was a beautiful day.

Eliška did him a favor to hide the argument they had before coming to the park. Miloš needed someone to be like, and Eliška was kind enough to lie that Radek was someone worth imitating.

" _Uncle Miloš, Uncle Miloš!"_ Anna ran up holding her net in both hands like she'd caught something. " _Look, take a picture!"_

Miloš knelt on the sidewalk and waited for Anna to show him her treasure. Radek seriously doubted she'd caught an actual bug. It was more likely to be an imaginary one. Or she might have put one of her butterfly clips in the net to pretend it was real. Radek could have sworn there were four of them in her hair this morning, and she only had three now.

" _Let's see it, Little Bug_." Miloš gamely raised his camera.

Anna opened her hand and squealed in delight at the live pillbug trying to crawl up the net. She looked back at Radek and Eliška, a proud grin on her face. "I _caught it_ ," she announced.

" _What a lovely bug,"_ Eliška said, leaning down to get a closer look.

It was an ordinary pillbug, and Radek had seen her pick these up off the sidewalk in front of their home a hundred times or so. Still, he smiled and said, "G _ood job, Little_."

Miloš snapped a picture and said, " _Okay. I got a good picture of it._ " He looked up, smiled when he saw Radek and Eliška standing back and watching. " _Why don't we get a picture of you with your mom and dad, Little Bug?_ "

Anna looked back, smiling, too. She shook her head, with a glint of mischief. " _If you can catch me_ ," she said, almost out of breath with her excitement. She dashed off at the fastest pace a four-year-old could manage down the sidewalk. " _You can't catch the Little Bug, Táta!_ "

" _I can't?_ " Radek laughed.

It wasn't as if it were difficult to catch her, but sometimes it was hard to keep a hold of her. She was really quite good at squirming out of tight spaces. Still, he made a game of not catching her immediately. Her laughter seemed to fill the whole park and made the butterflies dance.

He caught her a few seconds later and hugged her close. " _I think I've caught a ladybug, Ela_ ," he called over his shoulder.

Eliška watched, looking happier than he remembered seeing her in a long time.

" _I'm not a ladybug_ ," Anna objected, laughing and twisting every which way to get out of his arms.

" _Oh? You aren't?_ "

" _No!_ " Anna laughed and squealed when he picked her up.

" _What are you, then?_ "

" _I'm a butterfly._ "

" _A butterfly?_ " He lifted her up onto his shoulders. " _What's it like to fly?_ "

#

July, 1995

" _Radek, wait a minute_." Eliška looked around their home with the distinct expression of displeasure.

What did he do now? Or, rather, what didn't he do? That was usually the problem these days.

" _I can't, Ela._ " Radek picked up his books and slid his calculator into the bag. The calculator was new, his most prized possession, and he had to try very hard to not let it get scuffed in all the chaos around here. " _I'm already late._ "

" _You promised Anna you'd see her recital._ "

Had he? Had he, really? Some days he thought if he heard the melody of "Sleep, Johnny, Sleep" one more time, he might go insane. At least Anna was good at getting clear notes from her little violin. And he was proud of her, actually. She stuck with the violin despite continually insisting that she didn't like it. Eliška made her keep going with it, and they argued about that, too. There was nothing they didn't argue about anymore.

The melodies of lullabies were not exactly standing ovation material, anyway.

" _I will,_ " Radek said. " _Just not this one, okay? This is really important._ "

" _It's always important,_ " Eliška mumbled. " _You think that it's easy for me? I'm behind in all my coursework, but Anna is only going to be five this year. Next year she'll be six, then seven._ "

Radek sighed and wondered why she was walking him through this simple addition.

" _She'll never be five again, and I don't want to miss it._ "

" _I don't either. And I won't. Ela, just because I'm missing this one recital doesn't mean I'm missing everything._ " He'd been to a recital before, anyway. He didn't remember when, and he was willing to bet that Anna didn't, either. " _She's five. She won't remember if I miss this one_."

" _This one, no_ ," Eliška mumbled. " _But what about all of them?_ "

Radek turned his eyes up to the ceiling. " _One is not all of them. Think about it. You're the mathematician._ "

Eliška huffed. " _Sometimes I wonder why we even wanted children_."

" _You did_."

The house creaked like it was frozen.

Radek shut his eyes as silence filled the whole house. Did he just hear those words come out of _his_ mouth? He slowly straightened over his bag, looking over his shoulder toward Eliška.

There were tears in her eyes, her hand was over her mouth. He must have said it.

" _What?_ " She cast a quick glance toward the hallway.

Radek followed her eyes, praying that Anna hadn't heard. Only the sound of a little violin playing "Sleep, Johnny, Sleep" drifted to his ears. Her constant practice was suddenly a benefit.

He turned toward Eliška, trying to catch his breath because he'd forgotten to breathe.

" _Ela, I didn't mean that. I didn't, you know that, right? Ela?_ " He reached for her arm, but she jerked away and stalked into the kitchen.

Tears glassed her eyes as she brushed him away with shaking hands. " _Just go to work_."

He put his hands through his hair and followed her. The walls closed in where he stood just beyond the doorframe. " _Ela, please, don't think that._ "

" _How could you?_ " she whispered. That look in her eyes was something he'd never really seen before. He'd seen her angry, he'd seen her disappointed. He'd seen her sad, and this was none of that.

He deserved this.

" _How could you say that?_ "

" _I didn't…_ "

" _You didn't mean it?_ " Eliška sneered in a whisper. A whisper so shrill she could have screamed at him and it would have been better. " _How did you—what are—I can't—?_ " She spun toward him, and threw her hands up in his face. " _Leave. Please. Go. Go to work_."

" _Ela._ "

" _Radek!_ "

There was nothing else to do about it. The walls pressed up against him on all sides, like he couldn't breathe. He didn't press it; he didn't want it to turn into another argument for Anna to witness. They usually stopped their yelling before Anna took much notice, before it got out of hand.

What was he supposed to do? It wasn't as if he could just leave all his work undone.

But what had possessed him? Why the hell had that thought even crossed his mind?

It was true, six years ago he hadn't wanted children, but… that was _six years_ ago.

Just 2.7 kilograms. He didn't know why he remembered that, except that sometimes he remembered numbers better than anything else. She was tiny and fragile, nothing to hold in his arms. He thought all babies looked virtually the same: wrinkled and pink and rarely nice to look at.

Nothing prepared him for his. He loved Anna the moment he saw her, five years and seven months ago.

She was much larger now, multiples of 2.7 kilograms. He surveyed the wreckage left behind by an enthusiastic five-year-old more interested in adding and subtracting than drawing dogs. Pencils and paper and stuffed tigers and butterflies. No room in the house was safe from her, either. He couldn't study in his bedroom, because she'd find him there to show him her kindergarten math homework. The office wasn't even off-limits, because she liked to pull up her little chair to pretend to work on her own "important things" when he was working.

God, he loved that. Very few things made him so happy.

He wouldn't change this for the world, so what—?

Radek picked up his bag and glanced in the kitchen before heading to the front door. Eliška sobbed over the dishwater. He carefully walked into the kitchen, but knew better than to try to touch her. " _I love you._ " He paused, unsure if he could continue through his quivering voice. " _And I love Anna. You know that. Right?_ "

" _Radek. Just_ _go._ "

He nodded.

He'd go to work. He wouldn't get anything done, but he'd go.

He went out onto the front porch, closed the door, and leaned back. How was he going to fix this? Flowers weren't going to cut it. What was he supposed to do? Go back in there and go with them to the recital?

Even if he wanted to, he had to be at the lab. He simply _couldn't_ go, and Ela knew that.

But he didn't want to go. Did that make him a horrible person?

It did.

Even if he didn't want to go, what the _hell_ possessed him to say that? That alone was proof, wasn't it?

But he didn't mean it. She had to know that.

He cleared the hair from his eyes, covering his head from some imagined blow. " _I didn't mean it…_ " No one could hear him.

Even if she did hear, it didn't matter anymore.

She called him Radek.

#

March, 1997

" _Ela, please, pick up the phone._ "

Radek sat against the headboard. This was the nicest hotel he'd ever been in. In Berlin. So far from home.

What home?

He flipped the file folder back and forth in his hand. He saw it coming, really. Eliška barely even looked at him in months, hadn't come near him for even longer. When she spoke to him, she ended up yelling. He yelled back. He said all sorts of things he didn't mean. He hoped she didn't mean the things she said, either, but then she gave this to him before he left. She told him that she and Anna would be gone before he got back.

The last thing he wanted was to return to the house and find it empty.

Anna's toys and books gone.

He'd rather just not go back.

He was so tired, he hadn't objected. He was tired of fighting with her, tired of her assuming all these things that weren't true, that couldn't possibly be true. Maybe the worst thing was seeing it coming, with nothing to do about it. Any gesture meant to fix it was taken the wrong way, any misstep magnified. He was tired of lying in bed next to her at night and trying to imagine how he'd feel when this happened. He imagined he was steeled against it. He wouldn't be hurt by a blow he'd seen coming, would he?

He was wrong. He'd never been this wrong.

He waited until last night to look at the papers neatly typed by a divorce lawyer. When he got into the room, he sat at the desk and turned through the pages one at a time. She said she didn't want much, and she wasn't lying. She didn't want the house, she didn't want as much of his salary as she probably could have gotten.

He read them last night and didn't bother to save the pages from his tears. He wasn't going to sign them.

" _I know it's over, alright? But I'm not going to sign these,_ " he told the machine. He hoped Eliška would listen to the message, not just erase it after hearing his voice. She was probably sitting next to the phone right now. Probably sent Anna away to her room when she heard his voice. " _I'm going to keep calling, Eliška. I need you to pick up the phone._ "

The line clicked. He heard her breathing. " _You have to sign them, Radek_."

He shook his head, choking at her voice. He should have been angry, but he wasn't. He didn't know why. Maybe he was too tired to be angry. He flipped the folder away. It opened, scattering the wrinkled pages on the floor. " _I don't want the house. You don't have to move out. Okay? Don't move out._ "

She paused for a long time. " _Where are you going to live?_ "

" _Somewhere_ ," he said. " _Somewhere close, but you have to let me see Anna._ "

" _No._ "

He slammed his head back on the headboard. " _Please, Ela_." He loved both of them, and she couldn't see. Why couldn't she see? " _You can't do that. It's wrong._ "

" _You want to know what's wrong, Radek?_ " she snapped in a whisper. Probably to save Anna from hearing yet another argument. At least she'd only hear half of it, this time.

He hated this. Anna deserved better. He knew that, but he didn't want to just give her up, either. Or maybe he should. Anna probably didn't even remember the last time they went to the theater together. The last time they went to a park. He saw her almost every day, and he wouldn't recognize her if he saw her playing on a playground.

He set his jaw. " _I know that Anna needs her father_."

" _Well, it would be nice if she had one, then, wouldn't it?_ "

Eliška sighed during the stunned silence that followed.

Why did she have to say things like that? " _Tell you what, Eliška, why don't you just fly up here to the hotel. I'll give you a knife and you can look me in the eye this time._ "

" _Don't be stupid._ "

He hung his head.

" _I don't want to drag Anna into this…_ " Eliška sighed shakily. " _You think I want this?_ "

" _If I knew what you wanted, I wouldn't be sitting here looking at these damned divorce papers._ " It was a wonder the phone hadn't broken, he was gripping it so hard. He looked toward the window, the snow on the city outside. At least he was in Germany. They had good alcohol here, too.

Eliška cleared her throat. " _We both know that you can't find a place to live so soon._ "

" _I'll go to my mother's. She'll take me for a few weeks, probably. I have family, you don't. Let me leave, it's fine. Just…_ " He tried for a few seconds to get a grip on his shaking voice, but it wouldn't obey. " _Please, you can't take Anna away._ "

Anna somehow still loved him. He wasn't sure how, but she did. She smiled every time she saw him, hugged him, showed him all her school work, and wanted to talk to him whenever he would.

Whenever he'd talk to her. He knew now he didn't take advantage of that as often as he should have. Sometimes he asked her to leave, because he was busy. And she did. What the hell was he thinking?

" _Don't make me take you to court_."

Eliška offered a sniff of derision. " _Court? Are you serious?_ " She paused. " _You wouldn't do that, Radek._ " Maybe she thought he was too smart for that, or that he didn't care enough to try. How could she think all these things?

He knew how.

" _You say you'll do things that you never do. Radek—when was the last time you saw her? Really?_ " Eliška paused, maybe long enough for Radek to say something. When he didn't, she continued. " _You want to share custody so she can go to care after school and wait for you until you decide to come home at night?_ "

" _I'll change—_ " No, he wouldn't. What was he talking about? She was right. Little girls didn't grow on good intentions and broken promises.

" _Think about it_ ," she snapped, again, throwing his own words back in his face. Words he must have said a hundred times to remind Eliška she was being unreasonable and emotional. " _You never made time for her before; why do you think you will now?_ "

He _never_ made time? That wasn't fair… He did… sometimes…

Radek only paid some attention when Anna showed him her things, things she was proud of. She just wanted to be noticed, wanted him to be proud, too. That was all. She didn't ask for much; why didn't he give her what she asked for?

It would be better for Anna, wouldn't it? People never changed. Radek wasn't so naïve to think that even if he got another chance, he'd be able to fix it. He had no idea how. Eliška never told Anna she was too busy for her. Never let Anna think for a moment that anything in the world was more important.

It didn't matter if Radek believed Anna was more important than anything. If Anna didn't know that, it didn't matter what he thought. Even if Radek managed to win some sort of custody arrangement, a slim shot given the disposition of the court system, he wouldn't deserve it.

Waste of money, waste of time. He wouldn't win. Anna would be his in no way except on a birth certificate. Even if Radek won, what was he getting? Every other weekend, if he was lucky. Maybe some holidays.

What would Anna get? Months and years of stress to remember him by if he lost. Even if he won, all those stressful days only to see the one who sent her away.

Radek asked Anna to leave because he was _busy_. And she did.

Radek didn't deserve her.

" _Fine, Ela, fine. I won't. Will you just…?_ " He let the phone rest on his shoulder as he sobbed.

" _Radek, I didn't mean—please…_ " Eliška whispered.

At least she waited for him to finish his sentence. He caught his voice back long enough to say, " _Just tell her I love her, yeah? Will you tell her for me?_ "

At least Eliška was crying, too. " _Yes._ "

" _Every day?_ "

She didn't answer that.

He shut his eyes and took a breath. Waited for what felt like minutes.

" _So, do you want the papers updated or not?_ " she asked finally.

He shook his head and said, " _Sure._ "

He waited for her to say something else, ask for something else. She didn't.

" _Ela, didn't we have… weren't we good together?_ " He didn't know why he asked, because he was afraid of what she'd say. He might have been the only one who had good memories anymore.

" _When there was a 'we.'_ "

It was so close, he could feel it. So far away, he couldn't see it. She might not even remember it. "Na shledanou, Ela," he said.

He wanted to say he still loved her, but he didn't want to seem coercive. But he didn't want to lie. She wouldn't believe him. This might be the last time he would ever tell her.

"Miluji tě."

She hung up the phone.

He couldn't feel any more lifeless if she sent him a dozen roses.

He didn't put the phone back on the receiver, let it fall to the thin quilt and listened to the silence. He thought he was over this last night. He thought he'd be fine today. He'd pick up the pieces, and get back to work. He went to his conference, but he wasn't fine. He wasn't fine this morning, and he wasn't fine now.

He rested his head in shaking hands, trying to catch his breath and, for god's sake, stop crying. It was over.

Radek would go back to the seminar tomorrow, give some presentation on something—some paper he helped write. He didn't even remember. He didn't care. He'd lost everything, lost everything that mattered. How was he supposed to care about gravitational constants? Magnetic fields? Any of it? He was sure he could have made a good life for them.

Now, maybe, just for him.

But Radek didn't know how magnetism worked.

He didn't know anything anymore.

#

February, 1999

Radek squinted at the sudden bright light pouring in from the window. Emílie bustled around the room, picking up stray clothes and books and setting them in different piles. " _Up, Radek, come on. You can't sleep forever._ "

Radek sighed and covered his eyes. He could hear his little nephew downstairs, babbling. He was only one, and he was a terror. Radek didn't remember Anna being like that. Not even a little. He remembered her being difficult, but Josef was hell-spawn. He had the decency not to tell his little sister that, though.

Maybe he just decided that the only good child in the world was his own. Even though he hadn't seen her in two years, now…

" _You can't let me give it a try?_ " he asked.

Emílie smirked and tossed a shirt across the room. Radek wasn't fast enough to catch it before it landed on his face. " _You know, I'm happy to have you here, Big Brother, but it's been weeks now._ " She sighed helplessly. " _I keep thinking what máma and tata would say to me if I turned my own brother out into the cold…_ "

" _Well, they aren't here, so you can do whatever you want._ " It was a philosophy their brother had used to great effect in the past weeks. Radek had never so wanted to strangle him. It would be better just to forget it and never see him again. Because, if he did, he probably would strangle him.

Emílie heaved a sigh. " _I still can't believe he did that to you_." Apparently Miloš was fresh on her mind, too.

" _To us,_ " Radek reminded. He glanced at her with a half a smile as he sat up. The house was always cold, which might have explained his lazy habits for the past two weeks. " _But it's kind of you to try to make my situation look worse than it is, Ema. Thank you._ "

" _I'm sorry about everything that's happened, I really am,_ " Emílie said.

Radek watched her fold a few stray shirts and pants. Emílie probably understood better than their definitely more attractive brother ever would. Emílie, like Radek, was a bit homely and awkward. Radek remembered her coming to Máma's house years ago weeping because she'd been dating Viktor for a year and he hadn't spoken one word about marriage or made any indication he was serious at all about their relationship. She was getting older, she said. If Viktor didn't marry her, how was she ever going to find anyone else who would?

Radek had some similar concerns. Eliška was probably Radek's one chance at a life like that. She had been one of a kind, looked past his clumsy conversation skills. Máma told him he was being ridiculous; he was barely over thirty. But she also said he was smart and he was kind, so she obviously didn't know what he was talking about half the time, anyway.

" _I really thought I'd stay with Máma a few more years, though,_ " he said quietly.

He still couldn't believe it. He'd expected their father to die young, so his death wasn't shocking. He worked hard to keep them clothed and fed and sheltered as children. It didn't help when the house burned down that one winter… Memories of those three months—or maybe it was only weeks or even days; memories were strange like that—made this house seem toasty and cozy in comparison.

But his mother… she was fine one day, and gone the next. The past few years only taught Radek that he had no business making plans for the future. He thought he'd be with Eliška for the rest of his life, but that didn't work out, either.

" _I'm sorry, Radek. I'm sorry about everything. But if you stay much longer, I fear my own marriage won't stay together. I can't afford that, you know?_ " She smiled slightly, like she knew she was joking. Still concerned.

Radek hadn't meant to make her life harder, though. He'd done enough of that for a lifetime. " _Viktor is good. He wouldn't leave you for something like that._ "

Emílie smiled. " _And he does like you, really._ "

" _I shouldn't have stayed so long. I'm sorry_." He put his fingers through his hair and then pulled the wrinkled dress shirt on over the t-shirt he had on. The shirt was plaid, like his flannel pants. No wonder he never went outside. He slid out from under the quilt. " _I'll figure something out…_ "

It would be difficult. He'd been living with his mother since the divorce, paying rent for the apartment they shared. Máma was sympathetic and didn't mind the company. She wanted someone to take care of, and her oldest was certainly a willing participant. In return, he made sure she had everything she could have needed or wanted. He also did the laundry, because that was the singular household chore she despised. Radek didn't look forward to the day he'd have to cook his own dinner.

Then Miloš took everything, thanks to Máma's bafflement regarding anything legal or technical or monetary. It was probably illegal, but there wasn't much to begin with and no one wanted to bother with court proceedings. Radek couldn't imagine his mother's reaction, dragging his brother to court over inheritance.

Radek hadn't spoken to him since the day of the funeral, and those words had been a few choice obscenities between his telling Miloš exactly what he was now: a drunk, a gambler, a liar, a thief, and cheat. Worthless. His irresponsible and thoughtless behavior contributed to Máma's deteriorating health, and he didn't ever want to see Miloš again. Radek didn't regret saying any of it, either.

Emílie was a better person than Radek was, used to giving Miloš the benefit of the doubt. Used to being kind despite plenty of reasons not to. She was loyal to everyone whose trust she'd won, yet somehow loyal to no one but herself. She never took sides, and always listened. Even Eliška still talked to her from time to time. Radek wished he was like Emílie at least a little.

Emílie sighed, folding her arms over her chest the way she did when she was about to scold Josef, even though the kid had no idea what she was saying. " _You don't give up this easy, do you?_ "

He glanced at her. " _What do you mean?_ "

" _It's been months since you wrote something, or were working on writing something._ "

She was right. He was a mess, and he didn't admit it. It was why his money had run out, actually. It was hard to keep a job he wasn't doing. The last things he published were two years old, the things he was working on while he was still with Eliška. He tinkered with a few ideas, but nothing seriously. He didn't know how Emílie knew that, though. Maybe that he hadn't touched a calculator or a sheet of paper in months was a dead giveaway. He'd certainly emptied more bottles of beer than pens of ink lately.

" _Maybe I do give up this easy…_ "

" _Brother…_ " Emílie sat down on the end of the bed while he hunted around in the dresser for socks. " _You're smart. You're very smart. You shouldn't spend the rest of your life staying in your nephew's bedroom, should you?_ "

Radek shook his head. Mostly because, any month now, Josef would move from the crib in his parents' room in here, and that was the last thing Radek wanted to be around for. Not because he thought he was better than this, though.

" _What are you going to do about it?_ " Emílie asked.

" _I had a few thoughts about magnetic fields last night…_ " He hoped that sounded intelligent enough for her.

She might not have been a genius, but she was savvy. " _Radek,_ " she warned. " _I may not understand anything you talk about, but I do know when you're patronizing me._ "

He chuckled. " _Just testing._ "

" _Good. Just make sure it's something scientific next time._ " Emílie sighed and walked toward the door. " _There's rye bread and sausage downstairs if you're hungry_."

" _Thanks, Ema._ "

#

December, 2000

Ten years ago, if someone told him that he'd be attending a science conference in New York City on invitation to speak, he'd call them crazy. His English was horrible, but he wanted this so badly he would have learned to speak Telugu if he thought it would help. He wasn't sure what was so fascinating about projectiles in zero-gravity, but someone around here was very interested indeed.

He stood in a corner near a few other Czech scientists who'd congregated with some Germans. Maybe he should have given more attention to his German, too. His German was little better than his English. Though, writing in English helped.

He was going to just butcher the entire English language for his talk, wasn't he?

What if someone asked him questions? Freeform English. His worst nightmare.

Nope, his worst nightmare was approaching. A tall, blond woman, flanked by a few intelligent-looking Americans. She was wearing a military uniform. He wasn't familiar with the US military uniforms, but it was blue and shiny. She looked very important, and… That was _not_... Coming to talk to _him_ …?

"Doctor Radek Zelenka?" The blond woman stopped in front of him, standing straight like… well, a military officer. "I'm—"

"Doctor Samantha Carter, yeah, I know who you are." He took her offered hand, laughing nervously. She smelled like lilacs. "Oh, my god, this is like meeting a celebrity." He was hopeless, wasn't he?

She smiled politely. "Well, I could say the same. Your paper on magnetic propulsion in zero-gravity has been a pretty popular topic where we come from. Doctor Collins and Doctor Lee." She stepped to one side to introduce her companions.

He said hello to each of them, trying not to wonder too hard about what the American military could want with space guns. Because, honestly, there wasn't a lot else one want with slugs in zero-gravity, was there? "Um, a popular, uh…?" He frowned, suddenly feeling like he should have stayed in the Czech Republic. Russia was comparatively next door, but it was the devil he knew.

"Don't worry, Doctor Zelenka, it's nothing too exciting." Doctor Collins looked pretty laid back, and younger than his counterpart, Doctor Lee. "The problem with theoretical physics is that we only get to see the last generation of theory come to practice, huh? It's our kids who get to work on our stuff."

Radek nodded enthusiastically, maybe too enthusiastically for how he felt. "Maybe, yeah, but…"

"But railguns are cool no matter where they are, huh? Theoretical or not," Doctor Lee joked. He laughed a little too much for whatever it was he just said.

"That depends on what they're pointed at?"

Carter, Collins, and Lee nodded sagely, as if there was something Radek was missing. Something big. Something that put railguns in space. They exchanged glances, though, like Radek said something more important than he realized. The world seemed pretty safe right now, but things like that could change quickly. Especially if there were railguns in space.

"I read your paper on plasma projectiles," Collins offered. "And you like your high-yield explosives."

Radek didn't know anyone read those misguided attempts at genius a few years ago. "Yes, well, lately I haven't pursued energy… um…"

"Weapons?" Carter suggested.

"Um. Yeah." He pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Last time I worked for the military, um… we were Communist, so…" He didn't know what else to say about that, but he knew Americans didn't exactly have warm feelings toward that system of government. At least, they didn't used to. He knew very little about Americans, actually. He didn't know how to explain he wasn't keen on working for any sort of government: communist, republic, monarchy, or… well, whatever other kinds there were. Radek knew many things, but his knowledge where civic systems and Americans were concerned was limited.

Still… he would have loved to work with energy weapons, but those were so far in the realm of science fiction that it was more an on-again-off-again hobby than actual work. Even if ground-breaking defense contracting was lucrative, the only interesting thing he used his money for these days was pigeon racing.

Carter smiled politely at his joke and offered a way for the conversation to not crash and burn. He almost wished she would just let him go back to his Czech corner until it was time to speak again. "So you decided to pursue…?"

"Magnets."

She laughed, like that was the joke. Radek didn't see what was funny. "Sorry," she said finally. "I have a friend who tries to solve everything with magnets."

"Well, maybe I should meet him. We might, um…" _No magnetism jokes, Radek_.

She pulled a business card out of her pocket, handed it to him, mercifully stopping him before he made an even bigger fool of himself. "We're working on a project, Doctor Zelenka. I think you'll find it incredibly engaging." She checked with Doctor Collins, for some reason, who nodded. "We'd love to bring you on board."

He didn't know what he said, but it must not have been anything of substance. Maybe he complimented her uniform. He hoped not, though. Maybe he mumbled something in Czech.

"Tell you what," Collins said, when Radek didn't give anything like a positive response. "I'm going to your presentation. Afterward, what do you say we go for drinks, and I read you in a bit. You might have to sign away your life on the dotted line, but it won't be permanent."

He was joking, too. Why was everyone joking? How big was this? Why did he accept that invitation to go to New York?

Because he didn't speak Telugu. He did speak English. At least, he thought he did. A little.

"Yeah, yeah." Why did he accept Collins's invitation? "Who has a life, you know?"

Collins chuckled. "Perfect."

The conversation might have ended on a fine note, but Radek couldn't tell. He stumbled through his presentation, terrified the whole time he'd regress into Czech. He made it, though, just in time for his co-author to take over. Michal knew English little better, but he was universally considered easier to listen to. Radek wasn't sure why, but Radek didn't mind handing over some of his work to be presented by the prettier mouthpiece.

He answered the few questions and waited for the room to clear. True to his word, Collins sat three rows back in the center, waiting for everyone to stop talking and leave. Even Michal retreated back to the Czech corner in the main room at the conference. When he wasn't talking about magnetic fields, he spoke of getting drunk and the company of women who couldn't tell Czech from Russian. Women who probably didn't know the Czech Republic existed at all. Women who were probably only a few blocks from this building, but certainly not here with them.

Radek stepped off the stage, casting a glance back to his presentation title page. His name in bright letters still seemed surreal. "How did you think?"

Collins smirked. "Fascinating, as usual. All the more proof that we need you on this project."

Radek sighed. "This project…" he repeated. _Need_. That didn't bode well for his future, here or at home.

Who was he kidding, though? His future at home was just more of the same. He had plenty of time to work on all the projects he wanted. So much time that he found himself lying awake in the middle of the night thinking of everything but his projects.

Anna was ten this year.

"Project Prometheus," Collins filled in, going to stand next to him. He had the grin of a schoolboy playing wargames. Didn't make Radek feel any better about the coming proposal.

"Mysterious."

Radek followed Collins out to the conference's main hall. Michal gave him a look as they walked by, but immediately went back to comparing notes with some of the other scientists.

Collins didn't give any further information while they walked down the hallway and went upstairs. The bar, inexplicably, was deserted. It had been empty of humanity every day that Radek had gone by, and he questioned the quality of the alcohol. It had to be good, considering the high-profile catering. Collins picked up a few glasses of beer and motioned for Radek to take a seat by the wide window looking out on Manhattan.

"The world is in a little bit of trouble."

"If this is about, uh…" What was the word? "Terrorists…?"

"No." Collins cut him off before Radek could finish his thought. "What I'm about to tell you is privileged information, Doctor Zelenka." He leaned back with his beer. "Your designs are pretty damn good. We need them. Or something like them. So we want to bring you on to improve them."

"I don't really…" That sounded a little too hands-on for Radek. "I don't really want to work in weapons anymore."

But, like it or not, that was what he did. The look Collins gave him said exactly that.

But what were they doing with it? Doctors Carter, Collins, and Lee had diverse interests. Magnetic fields? Carter wrote a paper on wormhole physics that, to Radek's eyes, was theoretically sound but almost nonsense given the mass conclusions she jumped to from seeming nowhere. He recalled Doctor Lee working with things like propulsion… in vacuums… something like that. Collins was a near-genius with ideas on the cusp of some ground-breaking ideas in compact data storage. Or circuitry. Or something like that. Put those things with high-yield explosives and energy weapons, and Radek didn't like to think where they were headed with that.

"I'm sorry. What does the American military want? What are you building, um, exactly?"

Collins glanced around. "Like I said, Doctor Zelenka. It's not the American military. It's the world."

"Could have fooled me," Radek mumbled. "With the American military uniform."

Collins found that funny. "Fair point. Let me put it this way: it's not just the American military. It's part of a multi-national endeavor." He looked to see if anyone was close. There wasn't, but his voice dropped to a whisper, anyway. "You know who we are, right? You know we want you. You're a smart guy."

"I can only think of one reason you'd want to put a railgun in space…"

Collins nodded sagely.

Radek laughed. He couldn't help it. Was he saying that there was some sort of threat out there that required railguns and—Collins, at least, was smiling, too. Maybe he recognized how ridiculous this was.

"You're kidding me."

Collins shook his head.

Radek smirked. Designing guns for a spaceship was something straight out of a science-fiction novel, and something he'd only dreamed of doing. When he wasn't dreaming of other things… "Are you telling me there are things in space that we need to point railguns at?"

"I'm telling you this is one hell of a space-race, and the stakes are too high to lose."

Radek took a deep breath. Maybe this was exactly what he was looking for. "Well, won't the Russians be disappointed?"

#

September, 2004

Radek sank back in the chair at the SGC, trying to remember to breathe. "I am?"

Doctor Weir nodded. "You're qualified. You've done work for the Stargate program in the past. Are you still interested?" She gave him a careful once over. "There's no guarantee when… or if, we'd get back to Earth."

That wasn't so much a deal-breaker. It was more like the cherry on the cake. No, no, the icing on the cake? Whatever, his American idioms were hopeless, anyway. "That's not so much a consideration." Maybe in another galaxy, he'd be too busy to think of the things he hadn't done here.

With everything he'd done, he could only ever think of one thing when the nights, more often than not, were quiet. That was one thing he missed about his apartment in Littleton, Colorado, walking distance to the lab where he worked. It was so quiet at night, he swore he could hear the stars. And all the things he hadn't done. He was too young for that kind of thinking.

All the things he'd hadn't done. Please. He'd built spaceships, worked on alien energy weapons for that spaceship. He'd glimpsed an alien in the flesh—but he wasn't sure he could really call that flesh. He'd done more than he would have thought to imagine when he was thirty. And he had to be honest. If he was a thirty-seven year old with a wife and daughter, he wouldn't be going to another galaxy, would he?

Was it worth it?

It didn't matter if it was worth it. This was what he had, and he was making the best of it.

He couldn't seem to make up for his mistakes. He was too busy for that.

"Alright." Doctor Weir smiled a bit and nodded. "Welcome to the expedition, then, Doctor Zelenka."

He left the room in a hurry. He walked in the most immediately available direction and eventually ended up in the elevator. He stood in the back in shock. Maybe giddy shock. Working on designs for the new spaceship was getting a little on the boring side.

Collins called yesterday with news of his acceptance onto the Atlantis expedition. They were going to wait for Radek's acceptance, and then celebrate. Except that Collins met the head science team member and Radek had heard of him in passing.

It would be better if they celebrated now, because later they might regret working for Doctor M. R. McKay. No one had yet divined what that initial M was for, since he apparently introduced himself as Rodney McKay. Everyone knew him by his initials, anyway, the brilliant papers he penned, the theories he skewered and built up on his towering intellect.

M. R. McKay had no friends to call him anything but Doctor McKay, so it didn't matter what his name was.

Radek had a few friends who called him "Radek." Collins, for example. There were three Wills in proximity, and Collins didn't mind going by his last name. Radek was the only one of his kind for miles, but most people called him Zelenka, even if they were going for drinks.

He went to the little room they'd assigned him.

It was September. He'd missed her name day… again. He wasn't even sure if Eliška was giving her his few letters. He sat at the desk and pulled out the blank notepad and the pen. It was like that cheap hotel stationary… except cheaper and without the letterhead.

He put the pen to the paper and started to write. Then he remembered he should be writing in Czech, so he had to start over.

Just yesterday he told himself he should go back. Anna was fourteen this year, and maybe Eliška could be convinced he'd grown up enough to be in his daughter's life. He'd been offered a position at the research university in Brno. Far enough to limit his visits like Eliška might want, but still close enough. Of course, just when things felt like they were getting dull around here, they were putting together a team to go to another galaxy.

Anna only returned his letters twice before, not that he wrote all that often. He had friends and a life here, and an opportunity he couldn't possibly pass up. People seemed to like him, or at least tolerate him. He couldn't say that for the people he'd be going back for.

 _Měj se Anna,_ he started.

 _I'm still living in the USA in Colorado, and autumn is very nice here._

#

August, 2005

"Security clearance?"

Radek frowned at Ford. He should have thought of that. He slid his glasses back up on his nose and waved away whatever it was the kid was saying. Maybe trying to explain security clearance—well, Radek was building top-secret spaceships when this kid was still in boot camp. "Vím co je 'security clearance,'" * he mumbled. Thank you very much.

Nothing like a young marine to make him feel incredibly old…

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. Erase that. Start over."

Ford grinned, turned back the recording, and realigned the camera. "Let me know when you're ready."

Radek nodded.

Ford waited patiently. Maybe a bit too patiently. Ford was going to die along with the rest of them, and shouldn't he be concerned? Maybe just a little. Ford was too young to die, too bright-eyed and happy to be here. Weren't they all, in one way or another?

"Who are you recording for?" Radek asked, trying to gather his thoughts. He couldn't tell her about the city, so he wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't been around for half her life. More than half.

Ford's grin was nearly contagious. Good thing, too; Radek probably should smile for Anna. "My grandma and grandpa. They're pretty much like my parents." He nodded and suddenly looked concerned. "What about you? Who are you recording for?"

Radek sighed and smiled a little. He didn't think that Ford even remembered who he was, outside of that guy who poked fun for not knowing prime numbers. It was unlikely to get back to anyone else that didn't already have access to his personnel file. Besides, he'd seen his file, and Anna and Eliška both accounted for one line in hundreds. It was like those nine years of his life hadn't happened. So easy to skip over.

"My daughter. I haven't seen her in… well, years." No matter how many. He looked at Ford critically. "If you were to receive a letter from your father whom you hadn't heard from in years… what would you expect him to say?"

Ford looked a bit taken aback by the question. It wasn't a fair question to ask of such a likeable guy as Ford. Radek had only ever observed him laughing, talking, at ease with everyone around him. He even seemed to tolerate McKay, more or less. But his father was apparently absent, too. Maybe he was dead. Did Ford ever forgive him?

It didn't matter what Ford would do, and Radek wasn't sure what Anna would do.

Even though he rarely sent letters before coming to Atlantis, he'd written what seemed like hundreds since. Hundreds that would never be sent because of security clearance. Hundreds, and every one might have been the last thing he'd ever say to her. Still wasn't sure what to say.

Ford shrugged. "I'm sure she'll be happy to hear anything from you."

"You're right." But, judging by his mannerism, he was probably lying. Radek sighed. "Sorry. Stupid question. Okay, I'm ready now."

Ford smiled and nodded, hitting a few buttons on his camcorder. He gave him the thumbs-up.

Radek smiled at the camera and tried to imagine it was Anna. Tried to imagine what she would even look like now. It had been so long… "Ahoj, Anna." He took a deep breath. " _I'm sorry it's been so long since my last letter. Maybe a video will make up for it?_ "

Yeah, right. Nice try, though. He hadn't send her any gifts or even one word on her birthday this year. Better explain that.

" _I'm so far from civilization sometimes I forget what it looks like. Mail doesn't come here often. I live in a very remote area with other scientists, some of the smartest people on Earth. It's intimidating, but I've learned so much. My work is very exciting. I wish I could tell you all about it, but… you know, there are data limitations._ " He tried to smile like it was a joke. Like he wasn't looking down the long, pale arm of a Wraith right now.

Why, every time he thought about dying, he could only think of her and how he hadn't seen her in ages? He was in a ten-thousand year old city in another galaxy, part of the most important secret on Earth. Yet he'd missed the most important thing. He wanted her to know what they'd tried to do here, but she might never know.

He shrugged. " _I wouldn't want to bore you…_ "

Maybe it wouldn't bore her.

How was he supposed to know? She might be interested to know what he did. What kid wouldn't want to know their father was off in another galaxy, building spaceships? He hoped Anna was the kind of girl that would be very interested, but… he also hoped she'd be the kind of girl that would have preferred he be in the same galaxy. On the same planet. Maybe she'd prefer to see him sometime.

He didn't know anything about her.

And he didn't deserve to. He didn't send many letters or gifts. He'd missed her name day four times, and that was just when they were apart. He swore he'd never do that. " _I wish I could see you… You're fifteen now, yeah? Fifteen…_ " Wow, that was surreal. How did he ever miss so much? How could he ever think anything else was more important. " _I'll bet you're beautiful and smart, just like your mother._ "

He took a deep breath and shook his head. Better to be honest, if this was the last thing she'd ever have from him. " _I wonder about you every day, you know. I think about where you might be going to school and what you're learning. I wonder if you're still playing the violin, and if you hate it as much as you used to. I know you're getting good grades in school, because I know you must be smart. Just like your mother. I wish… I wish I could see you._ "

Wishful thinking for the past eight years, off and on. It was right that he hadn't seen her. Maybe Anna didn't care. Maybe she didn't really even remember him. Maybe that would be better for her in the long run.

" _Maybe when I come home I can see you. Maybe we can have lunch or something._ " He found himself slouching in his chair, when he'd started out so sure. " _I miss you. I love you…_ " He didn't know who he was talking to anymore. Maybe he never did. But he never wished more than now he could still be with them. Maybe just to see them one last time.

He looked directly at the camera and tried his best to imagine what a fifteen-year-old Anna looked like now. If she'd look any different. If she'd look pretty much the same.

"Drž se, miláčku."

#

September, 2005

Anna sat down next to the window and looked out. She always thought Prague's airport looked a little bit like a prison. She was going to miss it. The green hills blocked the view to the rest of the city, but she'd see it soon enough when the plane took off. From Prague, to London, to Washington D.C., to Denver. It was shaping up to be a long flight. A very long night.

Even without layovers, it was a twelve-and-a-half hour flight.

She could handle it.

Except the next time she looked up, they were already in the air with the city beneath. She didn't know when she'd see it again, and soon she wouldn't be able to see it at all.

She blinked at her tears in case the young lady next to her looked at her. Anna heard her speaking English earlier. She sounded British and she didn't look like the kind to be at all concerned about the sobbing little girl sitting next to her.

She waited until the stewardess came by to give her a package of peanuts and she pulled out her disk with the message from Radek on it. She pulled down the little table stuck in the back of the chair in front of her and put the disk on it. And stared.

She might have been able to do this the whole flight, but the woman sitting next to her noticed her tears.

"Oh, dear," she said in English. It was different from the American tapes she'd been listening to, and she wasn't sure how. English was hard to understand, anyway. "Are you alright?"

Anna nodded, pushing away her tears with her knuckles. "Yes. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about flying." The woman turned to her, patting the armrest between them. "I've done this a hundred times, and there's no reason to be scared."

"I'm not…" Anna whispered. She tried not to choke on her own breath. "I'm sorry. English. I—"

" _Oh, that's fine, I know some Czech_." She smiled a little helpfully.

Anna glanced at her uncertainly. Her Czech sounded better than Anna's.

" _My company does business in Prague all the time. I practically live there these days…_ " She sighed and shrugged. " _It's a nice city, but it's not Manchester._ "

Anna nodded. " _I have to learn English because my dad lives in the USA. I'm going there now._ " She took a deep, steadying breath. Her tears dried up, and just in time. " _I haven't seen him in eight years_."

The woman nodded knowingly. " _Oh, I see…_ "

" _I'm just nervous and…_ " That wasn't a reason to cry, though. She didn't know why it was so important to her to not look like a crybaby to this woman she didn't even know. " _I have to live with him now because… because, um, my mom died._ " Anna looked down and added, " _I don't usually cry_." She turned the disk on the desk and pulled her book out of her messenger bag. A brand new book from her aunt for her trip.

The woman looked a little shocked, probably regretting having picked this seat. At least it wasn't even a three-hour flight to London. She could soon be saved from sitting beside this blubbering child on the plane from Prague. " _I suppose I'd cry, too,_ " she said quietly. " _That sounds like one hell of an adjustment. I'm sorry._ "

Anna smiled a little. " _I've only been outside of the Czech Republic once, to Berlin, with… um, my mom. I've never even met an American. And now I'm going to live with them._ "

" _Your Dad isn't American?_ " she asked.

Anna shook her head. " _He's Czech, also._ " It had been a long time since she'd seen him, but not so long he could have become American completely… if that was even possible.

She nodded, and made herself comfortable in her chair. She glanced at Anna and smiled apologetically. " _But you haven't seen him in years. Are you excited to see him? You must have been really little when you last saw him_."

More like terrified. She decided not to answer that question directly. " _I don't really remember him. I only remember that I thought he was the most wonderful daddy ever, and now I only remember that my mom hated him._ " In other words, she had no idea what to think or feel. She sighed and leaned back on the headrest. " _But I guess I have another fifteen hours to figure it out._ "

" _Good lord_." She frowned. " _I guess, for you, this really is a red-eye flight… tired and crying._ "

Anna couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry about that. She ended up doing a little of both, despite her attempts not to.

" _Hey,_ " the woman said. " _You want to practice your English? I'm pretty good at it._ " She smiled like it was supposed to be a joke.

It was funny enough for Anna. She nodded. "Um… I know colors." She smiled sheepishly.

"That's fine. Why don't you tell me about where your dad lives?" she suggested. "Do you know where he lives?"

Anna nodded. "In the USA…" What was that place called again? Anna looked up pictures of it last week, to know where she was going. It was pretty, with big violet mountains and sky blue as a bellflower. "Um, Colorado. He sends letters." She took a deep breath and sniffed. "The weather is nice."

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* I know what "security clearance" is. (Thanks, Google)

Uh, there are other Czech words in this chapter (not as many as you might expect?).

motýlí = butterfly / ahoj = hi / drž se = take care/hold on

Also, do you even know how impossible it is to find out if German telephones had a dial tone in the nineties? I still don't know. Also, I'm not sure if the "red-eye" joke works anywhere but American English, but I was like… _It's almost the end. Just go with it. I'm sure its fine._ Sure, I regret it now, but, after the battle, everyone's a general.

* * *

 _A/N: I'm not a fan of flashbacks, but you could never tell with this monster of a chapter. I was working on what happened to get Radek to this point (much thanks to linda-ljc for largely inspiring this inquiry. Basically forever ago now. I know it was quite a wait, but I hope it was worth it). I got carried away, so I crammed them all in one chapter. It doesn't cover a lot of things, obviously, but I didn't want it to get… longer. It's difficult to show the deterioration of an otherwise-working relationship. It never seems like big things when you're in the middle of it, but, by the end, every little thing is big. So this is basically just the important parts. You know, data limitations…_

 _I will answer the reviews next chapter, which I will post in minutes._

* * *

 _Next time: Working on it…_


	97. Mister Mom

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Rodney's terrible idea (from chapter 93) actually worked out a little. Arrived back at Atlantis after some excitement which Radek and Anna were not around for… though they may have had some almost-excitement (chapters 94 and 95)._

 ** _Important Announcement: I will be taking a short break from writing this in order to graduate, as well as find and start a new job. See you all soon!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 97. Mister Mom.**

"This is what you do for birthdays?" Anna laughed.

"Yes." Leto laughed, too, green paint dripping from her fingers. "Now hold still."

Leto's fingers brushed up underneath her eyes, spreading the paste back and then down her chin. Leto concentrated on the artistry of face paint with an intensity Anna had never seen.

As Leto did the other side of her face, she nodded toward Radek. "He's handling this well."

Anna almost turned her head to look.

"Hey, hold still!"

"Sorry." Anna tried to keep from laughing, but it didn't work very well. She had to assume that she was forcing poor Leto to draw strange squiggly lines where they were supposed to be straight.

She shook her head. "This is impossible. You're worse than the Nines."

Anna frowned, momentarily hurt, but it didn't last long. For some reason, today, more than yesterday, more than the days before… she felt free. She didn't doubt it wouldn't last. Nothing ever did. But, she was determined to enjoy it while it lasted.

Especially since just minutes ago, Major Ivanov reported that Atlantis was safe and they would go back as soon as the ceremony was over. Radek appeared to want to leave now, but…

"Then go ahead and give me a Nine pattern," Anna said.

"But you're supposed to be able to tell what year someone is by the paint on their face." Leto leaned forward and whispered, "We had to make up a whole new pattern for your father."

Anna giggled and glanced toward Radek. He was handling it incredibly well. More like silent suffering, maybe. His eyes were closed while the two little guards, Cleo and Casta, drew their hands all over his face. Cleo was painstakingly putting brown dots above his eyebrows while Casta put his own artistic expression on Radek's chin.

"How's it going, Radek?" Anna called.

"Do not speak to me," he said, carefully not moving his lips too much.

Anna and Leto burst into laughter.

"I've never met a Thirty-Eight with such a good humor," Leto said.

"Oh?" Anna asked. "How many have you met?"

Leto shrugged, a good-natured glint in her eyes. She may have been an adult… but she was also a little girl deep down. Sort of like Anna. "Only one."

It was as though everything was funny today. Anna doubled over and laughed, gasping for breath. Leto hung off Anna's arm, no doubt getting green paint all over her shirt, incurably giggling.

"It wasn't that funny." Leto laughed anyway.

"I shouldn't be laughing. There is nothing to be happy about today, is there?" Anna feigned an apologetic tone. "So a Seventeen today. That is exciting."

Leto grinned. "I haven't yet finished your Sixteen paint."

Anna glanced around. "Are there any other Sixteens?"

Leto looked around, then she pointed. "Nike is a Sixteen. Phile is a Fifteen."

Anna looked where Leto pointed. "Does my paint look like that?" Green with white stripes. It didn't look hideous like the Thirty-Eight paint pattern. Of course, the Thirty-Eight was designed and executed by a pair of eight-year-olds.

"It might if you would sit still."

"Sorry, sorry." Anna pinched her lips and sat straight so Leto could finish.

She smiled when Leto drew one finger from the top of her forehead, down her nose, across her lips, and to her chin. Six more lines were added to her forehead while Anna tried desperately to ignore an itch on her nose.

"There you are. Finished. Was that so difficult?" she asked.

Anna shrugged with a smile as Leto looked away across camp. She suddenly waved her hand and shouted, "Akylles! Come here!"

Anna watched a two-year-old totter through the crowd, a simple dot pattern surrounding his bright eyes and straight lines on either side of his adorable nose. "Oh, is this your son?" Anna asked when Leto picked the little boy up.

"Yes, it is. Akylles, this is Anna. Say hello."

The boy waved by opening and closing his hand, and said a barely-intelligible greeting, and then he motioned off to one side. "I tree."

Anna didn't know what to say, since she wasn't sure what he meant… Perhaps that he lived in a tree. Or climbed trees. Or… ate trees? She settled for saying, "Oh?" with a very interested tone.

The conversation might have continued, except Radek spoke up. "Are you done yet?"

"Not yet." Cleo giggled.

"No. No, I think you're done, now." Radek lifted Cleo and set her to one side, standing up.

Leto watched Akylles' little eyes grow wide when Radek approached, as if he'd just seen a monster. Anna almost laughed, since the paint on Radek's face did a pretty good job of making him look impossibly angry.

"Is this how 38 paint will look?" he asked.

"Yes," Leto said.

"I pity the poor souls who make it to thirty-eight," Radek said. He fiddled with a lock of his hair, braided with grass. "This is unnecessary."

Leto didn't have anything to say about that, turning her attention back to Akylles. The boy still watched Radek, but Anna was wrong. Akylles wasn't afraid. He was curious. He'd never seen anyone as old as Radek before. Radek was wearing his glasses and he must have looked very odd.

"I think he likes you," Leto offered with a smile.

"Oh." Radek looked horrified, and Anna almost laughed. He gave a small wave to the boy. "Hello."

Akylles waved back. "'Lo."

Leto smiled between Radek and her son. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Oh, no." Radek took a small step backward, shaking his head. "No, that's, um…"

Laughing, Leto put Akylles down on the ground next to her. The boy didn't run away, though, but kept looking up at Radek like he was the strangest thing to be seen on the whole planet.

"Don't you like children?" Leto asked.

"Um."

Anna raised her eyebrows at Radek, just in case he forgot that just yesterday he'd called her a child. He didn't notice her reaction, though, his eyes pasted on the little boy. They were like small animals staring one another down, trying to figure out who would eat whom first.

"Um, no. No, only one." Radek's voice trailed away as he knelt down to see the boy closer.

Anna was incredibly, inexplicably gratified to hear that. Except, maybe he was suffering from something like PTSD right now… traumatized and yet desensitized to the presence of children. He let Akylles touch his nose, and smiled when the boy laughed.

Radek stood, and looked at Anna. "Yes, what do you say to painting our faces next birthday?

Anna shrugged with a touch of a mischievous grin. "Well, Rodney's birthday is next week…"

#

"Hey, look who's back!" Doctor McKay laughed. He glanced between Anna and Radek. "It's Mister Mom! How were the kids?"

Anna grinned at how much Doctor McKay seemed to be reveling in his perceived victory.

"They're fine, Rodney." He glanced at Anna for half a moment. "How are you Anna?"

Anna smiled. "I'm okay," she answered. And, for the first time in a long time, she felt like she might have actually meant it.

"Oh," Doctor McKay said. He sounded a little bit disappointed. "Oh, that's good."

"Hm." Radek chuckled and walked toward the transporter.

Doctor McKay was apparently not enjoying this as much as he thought he would. He caught up with them a moment later. "So, I take it the malfunctions were, um…"

"It is fine," Radek interrupted. "It's all fine."

Anna nodded. "We fixed the machine and celebrated Leto's birthday."

"I guess that explains the…?" Doctor McKay paused and gestured to his face and hair.

"Yes," Radek said, reaching with one hand to grip Anna's shoulder. "One thing I do have to say, though. Other kids make you appreciate yours even more." He looked to Anna and smiled. " _Hungry for some real food?"_

" _I would love some real food_ ," she agreed with a grin.

"What are you guys saying…?" Doctor McKay asked quietly.

Anna smiled at him sweetly. "Nothing to worry about, Rodney." She looked at Radek. He looked positively amused at her teasing Doctor McKay. Like Colonel Sheppard said once—a chip off the ol' block? " _It's roast chicken day, isn't it?"_

Radek laughed. " _Maybe. I only know it's not lasagna, so…_ "

" _It would be better than squirrel."_

" _I can't argue with that."_

" _You'll have to explain the difference between lasagna and spaghetti to me someday…_ "

" _One is good. The other isn't_."

Anna giggled. " _That clears it up."_

They walked together to the transporter. Doctor McKay still stood on the stairs up to the 'gate, probably wondering what they were calling him right to his face.

Which was nothing. But it didn't really matter.

"So, I guess, you worked out that complex algorithm?" Rodney called suddenly behind them.

Radek glanced back, then at Anna, like maybe she'd know something about it. She shrugged, just in case he was trying to ask her what in the world he was talking about.

He just smiled, and looked back at Rodney. "Working on it, I suppose. Thank you for your help."

"Yeah, yeah…" Rodney waved them off. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

 _A/N:_ _Thank you, everyone, for reading. Hope it continues to be enjoyable when I return, as I need to take a break to arrange my final month in university and my future. It's a tall order for a month, but here we are. But this is actually a great stopping place for a bit! It's like... I should have stopped here originally? But I didn't. Because I like to have goals I can't possibly accomplish._

 _Anyway… Holy Grail achieved! That is Critical Mass through and before the anniversary. Granted, just barely. My next goal should be a bit smaller. How about. The Long Goodbye. I'm making it to The Long Goodbye before next year. There. Easy-level achievement._

 ** _Thank yous & etc._**

 _MissMeow1968- I think you're right. It's high time we had a "Wow, this is a great universe" episode. I'll need to look and see if I have one slated. If not... I'll put one in there._

 _Ona- Aw, thanks. :) Hopefully this won't take long and I'll be back in posting-regularly form again soon._

* * *

Next time: Are you busy?


	98. Tomorrow

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Last time: Radek reflects on his time-management skills and feels better about his relationship with Anna. Well, at least he knows that whatever mess he makes is worth taking the time to clean up. And Anna has a request regarding some orange rocks she's found (chapter 68 and 84… and other chapters, but that's the gist of it)._

* * *

 **Chapter 98. Tomorrow.**

He tried not to feel too sorry for himself. After all, Elizabeth was a very busy woman. He was busy, too; probably didn't have time for things like… like dinner. Even though he ate dinner every day. With Anna. He shouldn't give that up, especially not right now. Things were going… well, not-awful.

She was still on the glum side of content. Should be expected.

Radek sighed and collected his things. One last checkup on Jumper Six and it would be ready to take on a test flight. That poor little thing really had been through a lot. It was there when two Atlantis crew people died. It was a Puddle Jumper, yes, but if Jumper Six were a person, it would find that hard to deal with.

Higginson's memorial service had been small, like Collins'. Back-to-back with Patterson's service, and Radek was surprised to find that just as many people attended one as the other. Completely different people, except for a few who attended both.

Everybody had somebody. Nobody had everybody.

Radek remembered talking to Elizabeth about writing condolence letters for Patterson and Higginson. Patterson had a sister in Vancouver, Canada. All of the letters had started to sound the same, no matter what sort of personal touch Elizabeth tried to put in each one.

It wouldn't look _the same_ to Patterson's sister. She'd never see any of the other condolence letters. Radek didn't tell her that, though. Just because she'd never see the others didn't mean they shouldn't be different. Shouldn't be personal. In many ways, it was the thought that counted… but he didn't say that, either, because that was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

Thoughts meant nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He stepped into the Jumper Bay and looked fondly at the ships sitting quietly in the bay. This really took him back to his first days on Atlantis. Walking in here early in the morning, nothing but his tablet and a cup of coffee to keep him company.

And the Jumpers. He never told anyone, but he'd given them names. Czech names. Referring to each of them by only their numbers got tiresome. It was probably a bit silly, but he worked many long hours in here alone. He was tired of speaking English all the time, and "his girls" didn't care what language he spoke. He talked to them all the time. Jumper Six's name was Káťa. Jumper Two was Anna.

He couldn't very well own to that, now, could he?

How much had changed in such a short time. A year ago, he only spoke Czech when he was angry, or knew he wouldn't be listened to, anyway. In an irony of human condition, saying something they couldn't understand seemed to force them to notice he was there.

Now, every day, he shared a conversation with his daughter whom, only a year ago, he hadn't seen in eight years.

Radek walked into Jumper Six and pulled down the crystal access panel and lifted up the grate in the floor. Everything looked to be in good condition, but he certainly wasn't going up in this thing without a thorough check on all the systems. Probably four of them.

This was the fourth check now, right?

What could he do to get out of this…?

"McKay to Zelenka?" Rodney's voice said in his ear.

Radek hesitated a moment in surprise before going to answer. "Yes, Rodney?" Honestly, couldn't he just do with a pager instead of this always-on telephone right in his ear?

"Yeah," Rodney answered. "Where are you?"

"Jumper Bay." Radek sighed and leaned down into the cavity in the floor with his cable. The connection to the Jumper's main computer down here was a pain to get at. Made Radek think that the Ancients had some sort of automated way to do these sorts of things…

"Oh."

Rodney didn't say anything else, and Radek might have been confused, but a second later he was too engrossed in his scanning to notice. Was that a hiccup in navigation? He seriously hoped not. He'd combed through the code and mechanics of that system what felt like one-hundred times already.

"Zelenka."

This time, Rodney's voice wasn't in his ear. He'd left the Puddle Jumper door open—because why would he close it?—and Rodney apparently took that as an invitation to come right in.

Radek looked up from his seat on the floor. "It's urgent?"

"No." Rodney put his hands in his pockets and wandered over to look down at the readings running by on Radek's tablet. "What you doing?"

"Checking for malfunctions. I thought I saw something in navigation, but it disappears whenever I look for it." Radek sighed and waited for Rodney to accuse him of blindness or something.

Miraculously, he didn't. "A ghost in the machine, huh?" he asked. His tone said it was a joke, but Radek couldn't figure out what was funny about it. "A, uh… gremlin in the engine?"

"What?"

"Never mind." Rodney sighed. "Busy tomorrow?"

Radek almost just answered his usual _yes_ when he realized that, of course, he was busy tomorrow. "It's your day off, isn't it?" And he was busy because Rodney asked him specifically if he could switch days with him.

Yes, he would be busy. And no thanks to Rodney.

"Yeah, no, I mean for lunch or… um, yeah." Rodney hesitated like he had more to say, but didn't know how. "Are you?"

"What?"

"Busy?"

"I guess not." Radek sighed, unclear why he was agreeing at all. Wasn't he just talking to himself about how he hadn't seen Elizabeth in days? But it was good, because he needed to spend time with Anna? Where did Rodney fit in here?

He didn't.

He was Radek's boss.

"No, no, it's fine," Rodney offered a second later. "You know, I think it's going to be chicken salad sandwiches. We'll be lucky if there's Jell-O."

"No, I will see you tomorrow." Radek sighed and put his tablet to one side to try to figure out exactly _why_ it was fine. "Anna is spending the whole day in the lab tomorrow, anyway. She has some sort of project she wants my help on…"

Rodney nodded with a half-smile, like that was cute. Like it was ridiculous.

Rodney probably didn't know how rare it was that Anna wanted to spend her day in his lab. Even rarer she wanted his help. She was like her mother: wanted to do things on her own or learn failing.

"Um." Rodney turned to go. "Great."

Radek watched him leave.

Didn't ask what that was all about. Doubted the answer would be to his liking even if he did. He wasn't due for a performance review any time soon, and he was doing incredibly well this year. He'd had an actual idea that was better than anything Rodney could come up with at the time. It didn't work. But it was better than Rodney's concurrent nothing.

Rodney always got the last laugh, though.

Life wasn't fair.

He was definitely going to need some heavier processing power to figure out what was wrong with navigation in here… He left the tablet connected to the jumper and put it down inside the cavity in the floor, covering it with the grate before he left. For some reason, jumper systems were not linked with Atlantis's, so they usually had to do their scans in person. Radek supposed that the Ancients had to have determined a way to do it remotely, but it was on some sort of toggle… perhaps only on when the jumpers were away. But, then…?

Maybe the Ancients were just that hands-on with everything.

He went down to the lab to do the scans there, using the tablet to reroute the jumper scans. In other words, this was going to be hours of waiting. And hours of poring over readings that it took hours to accumulate.

The usual suspects were in the lab already, talking quietly over their cups of coffee. They said hello, exchanged a few pleasantries. Wondered how Anna was doing. The usual.

Silence after just a minute or two.

Radek set his computer to scan and search for any immediately obvious errors, even though he knew it would probably be up to him to find the ghost or the gremlin or whatever it was. These Ancient computers were somewhat like their creators: they rarely, if ever, found errors with themselves.

Okay, that was a little like any old Human, too.

He didn't get too far on that line of philosophical thought before he realized Anna was walking toward the little desk he'd cleared for her. It had remained so, mostly clear, except sometimes people put their coffee there while doing work on the servers. Radek was sure Anna wouldn't have minded.

" _Oh, hello. I didn't know you were going to come today_ ," Radek said. They'd talked this morning. Anna asked if she could work with him tomorrow on a "little project." Radek couldn't begin to guess what that was, but he was pleased as anything she'd asked.

" _I wasn't going to, but I really didn't want to work on this paper._ " She shoved away her tablet and then put an oddly familiar—yet totally wrong—orange rock on her desk.

She looked at him expectantly as he got out of his chair.

" _What is this?_ " he asked.

" _My project._ "

" _The one I'm supposed to help you with?_ "

She smiled, nodded, and stayed silent.

It _looked_ like a ZPM. It wasn't. It couldn't be, because where would she get one? And besides, there was something off about it. But it looked like one, and that was weird. Where did she get it and what did she plan to do with it?

" _It's not what it looks like, I guess_ ," Radek offered.

She shook her head, and turned the rock over. " _Not yet_."

Alright, maybe Rodney was right. It was _cute_. And _ridiculous_.

On the other hand, he didn't want to toss out the possibility that there were rocks out there that the Ancients harvested and used to make their near-infinite power supplies. And why hadn't they thought of this before? Probably the tyranny of the urgent. Too busy trying not to die to worry about having power in the future. The Ancients kept rooms in which they made viruses, replicators, holograms, any number of things. Why not ZPMs, too?

It was a tantalizing possibility, certainly. Also cute and ridiculous.

" _At least, I hope it can be. I don't know what it is, but I've scanned it._ " She took a moment to open some files on her computer.

Geology files. Molecular maps that Radek knew very little about. Somewhere in the neighborhood of nothing. But he did know about ZPMs, and ZPMs didn't look like this. But they weren't exactly dissimilar to this, either.

" _I just wanted to get everything set up for tomorrow, so you didn't have to spend a lot of time_ …" she said quietly, turning to one of the little CPUs standing on the desk Radek set aside for her. Connected a wire to her tablet and started transferring the files.

" _I don't mind_ ," Radek said. In fact… the more he thought about the possibility of making ZPMs, the more this was looking like a potentially fruitful line of questioning she'd stumbled into. " _Even if it turns out to be nothing, the idea is very much worth my time_."

Not to mention Anna. Anna was always worth his time. But this idea…?

He'd never been so proud in his life.

Radek managed to stifle the wide grin and the puffed-up feeling in his chest and go to his desk. When Anna went for it, she really _went for it_. Wanting to make a ZPM? He couldn't think of a more ambitious project.

" _What are you doing tomorrow?_ " Anna slid the chair over from her empty desk to Radek's and jumped up onto it. Her files were still transferring. " _I mean, will you be busy?_ "

Radek looked at her sideways, feeling needlessly popular. He wasn't sure he liked it a few minutes ago when Rodney came calling for his lunch hour tomorrow, but this wasn't so bad.

#

He looked at her sideways, like he wasn't sure what she was doing there or how to respond to her now that she was there. Looked pleased about it, though. Whatever it was. He shook his head and answered, " _Just working. It's Rodney's day off, so I will be covering for him._ "

Anna didn't bother to point out that meant almost nothing. After all, it was a Sunday, Radek's day off, and here he was in the lab. Working like there was no such thing as a day off. " _Don't you usually have Mondays?_ "

" _Ah, yes, I do_." Radek looked up, as if only just realizing that this was a strange development. " _He asked if we could switch days tomorrow._ "

" _Oh._ " That made sense… considering it was Rodney's birthday tomorrow.

Radek made a face, then, like he was extremely confused. " _Except he asked if I wanted to have lunch._ " He looked at Anna with an expression of mock horror. " _I think he's going to fire me_."

" _Can he fire you?_ " Anna wondered. She guessed if Rodney could have decided on his own to fire _anybody_ , the entire science department might have turned over twice since the _Daedalus_ started making its runs between Atlantis and Earth.

" _No, I don't think so._ " Still looked confused, though.

About the lunch. It was confusing, but apparently nobody in the lab knew the first thing about anybody else. Anna sighed and shrugged. " _I doubt he's going to fire you, anyway. He probably just wants to have lunch, because… well, probably because it's his birthday_."

Silence fell on the lab, like maybe Radek forgot that Rodney, as a human, probably had to be born sometime. He wasn't constructed or programmed, despite all appearances. To make it all the more baffling, Rodney wasn't having a celebration. He was having lunch.

And Radek was invited.

"Huh."

That was all the response Anna figured he was going to give about that.

" _I do remember Rodney asking me to have lunch with him once last year. I remember it because it was strange. Never did before, never did again._ " He looked apologetic, like he'd definitely said _no_ , and probably said it rudely. " _Well, I have time this year..._ "

" _Even though you don't have time?_ " Anna smiled a little when he shrugged.

" _Time is relative_."

They laughed like it was funnier than it was. Maybe humor was relative, too.

" _How can I help you with this?_ " he asked suddenly.

Anna didn't know what to say about that, since he'd already made it pretty clear that it wasn't a ZPM, could never be a ZPM, and even if it could have been, they wouldn't know how to do it. She sighed and glanced toward the rock. It really _looked_ like one, though. Even Radek recognized that.

" _I don't know. I just want to see if it could be a ZPM_."

Radek tapped his fingers on the desk idly for a few moments. " _I don't suppose this will make a difference,_ " he mumbled as he went to a nearby box and pulled out a multitude of scanning devices. He handed Anna one, keeping one for himself, and said, " _We should collect as much data on it as possible_ ," he said. Then he smiled. " _And we can go scan our own ZPM and run comparisons_."

Anna felt her eyes widen ever so slightly. " _The real one?_ " She'd never been allowed in the ZPM room, even when she went with Rodney to run checks on the room. He always sent her to do something else somewhere else. She'd never seen the real ZPM up close. It would be like…

There was no apt comparison for it.

" _Unless there is an equally-informative counterfeit ZPM we can use_." Radek chuckled.

Anna couldn't help her excitement as she got to scanning the orange rock on her desk. She looked at him happily as her tablet ate up the data she fed it. " _Maybe we do have an equally-informative counterfeit ZPM_."

" _No way to know until we scan them_."

* * *

 _A/N: I GOT A JOB, Y'ALL! So I'm back! … I think you noticed that, though. So much for my goal of The Long Goodbye by next year. I'll still give it a shot… I can at least promise getting to (if not through) The Tower by next year. Anyways, back to our regularly-scheduled program.  
_ _How are all of you, by the way? How was your summer? Been a while._

 ** _Thank yous & Etc._**

 _Ms. Meow- I was definitely having a time. Wouldn't say I was "enjoying" it, because looking for a job is stressful... but I got to spend lots of time with my family, so that's nice. :) Thanks for sticking around all this time!_

* * *

 _Next time: I don't know why I even bother with you sometimes._


	99. Not Listening

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Anna and Radek are working on figuring out if Anna can actually make ZPMs out of those little orange rocks she discovered (first in chapter 64). Also, Rodney asked Radek to have lunch with him (last chapter). Because it's his birthday. Clearly, Rodney doesn't have many friends._

* * *

 **Chapter 99. Not Listening.**

" _Anna?_ "

She didn't even move, her eyes pasted on the computer panel with the most awed or adoring expression. Radek wondered if he shouldn't try to snap her out of it, but decided against that almost immediately. The last time he saw her looking at something like that was in the back of a Puddle Jumper…

They still hadn't quite sorted that out to his satisfaction. For the meantime, he was happy to ignore it. The Athosian boy was hundreds of kilometers away. Fortunately for Radek, Anna currently considered ZPMs much more interesting. This was, at least, something he understood.

He slid to stand beside her, and that caught her attention.

That smile on her face when she looked up at him. She really loved this stuff, didn't she? She _really_ did. " _It's a really beautiful piece of technology_ ," she said.

He nodded, wondering what she meant by that. Perhaps something more than aesthetics, since she'd spent the last five minutes poring over the circuits leading from this central node to the surrounding junctions. There were more aesthetically pleasing sights in this room than a jumble of blue and white wires.

" _It is_ ," he agreed anyway. " _Do you think we have what you need?_ "

She gave him a smirk. " _You're the expert. Do I have what I need?_ "

Radek looked at his tablet and scrolled through the scans they'd run. He was surprised at all of her ideas for making a thorough job of it. In fact, they scanned the ZPM in more ways today than Radek thought they'd ever scanned it. As he suspected, some of the data they'd gathered was fairly useless, but anything was worth trying once. And anything to encourage her toward her love of Atlantean power systems.

With any luck, it would keep her from loving other things too much for a while.

" _I think we have everything we can get_ ," he said, handing her the tablet.

Anna looked at the screen with a nod, and then started gathering her things. With a final glance back at the panel of circuits and capacitors, she said, " _Next time you have to work on the ZPM, can I watch?_ "

" _Yes, of course_ ," he said.

He helped her gather her things and they left the ZPM room. She scrolled through the tests they'd run. He would show her how to analyze the data in all the ways he thought pertinent. She'd already asked a few questions that Radek would never have expected of an undergraduate, much less a sixteen-year-old. Her questions seemed to indicate, to him, that she already had a firm grip on the things she needed to know about the ZPM before she could even think about making one herself.

He was biased. He had to believe that. The odds that his daughter would be just as gifted as he was as a child were… fairly good, actually. He trusted Eliška would encourage their daughter toward math and science even if she wasn't truly exceptional.

But she was. Anna was exceptional.

Even if she wasn't.

It was an unfamiliar feeling and motion for him to give her a sort of sideways hug as they walked, but she seemed to take to it well.

" _You're quite smart, you know,_ " he said. It was probably a stupid thing to say, since he didn't doubt she was aware that very few teenagers would have seen the ZPM as anything more than as a pretty orange rock.

Well, she saw it as a pretty orange rock, too.

Smart _and_ normal. He had the fleeting thought that Anna might not be related to him at all, given that bit of information. He had the smart part. Not necessarily the normal part.

She gave him a half-frowning grin, like she was annoyed that she was smiling at all. " _You are what you're around, I guess_."

" _Adaptation_ ," Radek said.

" _Without adaptation, you go extinct_."

That was a bit more serious a discussion than Radek bargained for. He doubted that a lack of comparable intellect on Atlantis would spell out Anna's extinction… if he thought that, they wouldn't be here. He had a comparable intellect, and he'd able to keep her safe if it came down to it. Probably.

Most likely.

If he thought that he wouldn't be able to, or that Rodney wouldn't, or any number of unbelievably brilliant individuals on Atlantis wouldn't be able to snatch the city and its inhabitants from the jaws of death in the nick of time… they wouldn't be here.

" _So can I?_ "

Radek looked at Anna. The conversation seemed to have gone on without him. " _I'm sorry—can you what?_ "

Anna rolled her eyes in frustration. " _Go to the mainland_."

Oh, the mainland.

Hell, no.

He opted for the more diplomatic, " _What for?_ "

Anna shrugged and ran her fingers down the side of her tablet. " _That is where I found the rocks, and I thought that maybe I could get a few more better specimens for study._ "

Of course, that was what she thought. But he couldn't really say no, could he? " _I don't know…_ " he mumbled anyway. " _Don't you think you should figure out what you have right now before you go trying to get more?_ "

" _But I don't know what is there,_ " Anna said. " _This might not be the only kind of rock. There might be more. More rocks more like ZPMs. Because what I have now isn't exactly like a ZPM and I don't know if we can change it to be more like one._ "

" _What a perfectly scientific reason…_ "

Anna looked to be trying to hide a small smile as she said, " _I mean, I want to see Iskaan, too. But that's okay, isn't it?_ "

Radek sighed. " _I guess so. As long as you can promise that seeing is all you'll be doing_."

She blushed, frowned, and gave him a well-meaning slug on the shoulder. " _Radek,_ " she scolded.

" _Kidding,_ " he offered. Even though he really wasn't kidding. But he'd have to figure out what to do about this sometime or another. After all, Anna wasn't getting any younger. Time was going on and it was up to him to keep pace.

He'd just have to adapt, probably. Adapt or die.

#

Radek walked into the mess hall, saw Rodney sitting at the table by himself. If Anna was right—

God, he was pathetic.

He picked up a plate, already filled with a sandwich, a tray of salad that looked primarily like spinach, a little yellow cup of some kind of juice and… um… something orange? There was also something brown with the feel and look of chocolate. Without asking, he sat down across from Rodney and said, almost sadly, "No blue Jell-O." He put his tablet on his left, and picked up his fork.

"Yeah." Rodney sounded disappointed, but then he lifted one of the little slips of orange food stuffs and asked, "What the hell is this?"

Radek picked up one of the mystery chips. It wasn't a potato chip, though, the consistency was all wrong. It was sort of soft, and ever so slightly fuzzy. Dry. He carefully, tentatively, tasted it. "I think it's like a, um… lyofilizace? Vojenských přídělů, myslím..." He sighed and took another bite.

Rodney looked horrified. "Is it that awful, really?" He carefully picked up one of his orange chips.

"No, I don't—" He cut himself off from saying he didn't know the word for it in English. "I think it's a… like a banana."

"Those are yellow."

"I said like a banana."

It actually wasn't terrible. But, for some reason, whoever was in charge of the kitchen saw fit to transform some of their home-grown Pegasus fruit into the texture-less, virtually tasteless affair that was military rations.

"If you really wanted Jell-O, you know, I think you could have asked and they would have made it for you," Radek pointed out, stabbing a stack of spinach leaves with his plastic fork. Only the best for the geniuses in the Pegasus galaxy…

Rodney shrugged, but didn't say much else.

Maybe because Colonel Sheppard appeared out of nowhere, already a bite into some other freeze-dried mystery. He set his tray down on the end of the table, between Rodney's and Radek's, before turning to grab a chair from another table.

"How's it going?" Sheppard asked.

Radek looked at Colonel Sheppard sideways. Made sense, Rodney would have asked him to lunch, as well. Radek supposed that if Rodney had any friends, he and Colonel Sheppard were just about it. And what a strange couple of friends they were. Completely and one-hundred percent different. Rodney probably just took what he could get. It explained Radek's being there, anyway.

He wondered if Sheppard knew that it was Rodney's birthday.

Probably not. Nobody knew anybody's birthday.

"Good." Rodney didn't sound very convinced. Maybe because he was looking at the banana-like chip in his fingers as though deciding whether or not to eat it. Then Rodney pointed at the gray thing Sheppard was holding. "What's that?"

Sheppard shrugged. "Like an apple? It's good."

"It's good," Rodney informed Radek, as if it were his fault that the almost-bananas didn't receive rave reviews. Swapping out the banana for the apple, he took a bite. Frowned. Nodded. "Not bad."

"I didn't say anything bad about the banana." To prove his point, Radek bit his chip in half. The taste seemed to get better with every bite.

"What did you say, then?" Rodney asked.

Time to admit he didn't know the word for lyophilization. Radek sighed and looked at Sheppard. "What is this called?" he asked, displaying the banana.

Sheppard gave the banana an appraising look, maybe about to give the fruit a name like he'd given the Puddle Jumpers a name.

Radek cut Sheppard off before he got the chance to offer the obvious answer that he didn't know what the alien fruit was called. "Not the fruit. I mean, the way it's prepared. What is it?"

"Oh. Freeze-dried." Sheppard nodded and took a bite.

"Freeze-dried? There. That's what I was saying."

Rodney didn't seem to believe him entirely, but seemed to decide to try the banana anyway. It apparently met with his expectations, but he turned his attention to his salad all the same. Radek made it halfway through his salad before the silence started to get to him.

Sheppard suddenly looked at Radek. "So how are repairs on Jumper Six going?"

Radek didn't know why he was surprised. Either he was surprised that Sheppard spoke to him at all, or that Sheppard cared or knew about Jumper Six. No, but of course he _knew_. He was the military commander of Atlantis—he probably read all kinds of reports. He probably knew Patterson. Probably heard at least something from Rodney about Higginson.

"Um." Radek gave a nod before putting words to it. "It's good."

"Good." Sheppard immediately turned his attention to Rodney, as if he'd just been handed some sort of segue. "Have you thought any more about the idea?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "What—? No! Because it's insane."

"Oh, come on, I already told Elizabeth that you wanted to try it. Besides, being able to explore the ocean floor with a Jumper would be really useful." Sheppard nodded. Of course, that couldn't really be denied. It would be useful.

Radek would also never want to do that. Because, as Rodney put so eloquently, it was insane.

Radek didn't speak while he stabbed at a stack of spinach. It didn't seem beyond the realm of possibility, though the stresses on the Jumper's hull would be extraordinary. Then again, they hadn't really tested exactly what kind of stresses the Jumper's hull could withstand.

"We've had a similar conversation, though, haven't we?" Radek said when Rodney took a breath from scolding Sheppard. "That the Jumper might be able to function as a submersible."

"Yeah, it might." Rodney looked at Radek, stressing the fact that they, in fact, did not know.

It was really a switch of roles. "Yes, that is what I said." Radek shrugged and looked at his sandwich before deciding he'd rather talk than try to muscle down a bit of the dry-looking sandwich. "We've said before that the Jumpers—"

"Are probably capable of withstanding the stress, yeah, I know," Rodney said. "Here's the thing: engines made to propel in atmosphere and space are categorically different from engines made to move through water. Completely different."

"Well, atmosphere is a fluid in a way, it's just—" Radek started, but Rodney cut him off.

"Yeah! Worst case scenario, we plop the Jumper in the ocean and it sinks like a rock. You wanna be on that test flight, Zelenka?"

"No, I don't swim." Radek paused. That wasn't the point. "I was only saying that the engines we'd build to propel through space and atmosphere are also different. The _Daedalus_ has two types: one for atmosphere, one for space. Maybe the Jumper is the same."

Rodney paused. "We still don't even know if the Jumpers are capable of submersing any more than we know whether they can have a hyperdrive on them."

Sheppard's eyes went wide for just a second. "Could we do that?"

"No. No, you could not. The crushing strength of atmospheres-worth of ocean on your head are a little bit different from the shearing and torsion you'd find in hyperspace."

Both Rodney and Radek ignored him. Radek was no expert on the strength of ocean currents, but he would have put money on the strength of forces in hyperspace being multiple times that any ocean could put on a Jumper. For one thing, crushing force was different from shear. Fish could be ripped in half, but not by ocean currents. Fish lived in oceans. Fish didn't live in hyperspace.

He wasn't sure where he was going with that.

"What is keeping a Jumper from maneuvering in hyperspace?" Radek asked. "Or any other vehicle, for that matter. A Dart could maneuver in a Wraith hyperspace field, probably, if it were in one." He didn't know why he thought that, except that it was an impressively strong and sturdy piece of machinery that was notoriously difficult to break apart. Even with rockets and high-tech lasers.

"No, no, no, no." Rodney rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "There's no reason to believe that their hyperspace field is any different than ours, and we can't launch 302s from the _Daedalus_ while in hyperspace."

"I'm simply talking about maneuvering within the field, not passing through it," Radek objected.

This conversation was academic, anyway, unless they had the chime-in of an actual pilot who'd been in space. Which was approximately a third of their table. That third of the table didn't seem to be interested in the conversation.

Radek looked at Colonel Sheppard. "What do you think?"

The colonel just smiled, shrugged a little.

"Colonel?" Radek tried again.

Colonel Sheppard looked between the two of them, suddenly, as if he hadn't been there this entire time. "What?" he asked, then nodded with some authority. "Yes."

Rodney shook his head. "He's not listening."

Rodney was right, though. Sheppard really wasn't listening. Radek glanced to his right to see what, exactly, had Sheppard so enthralled.

Oh. Rafaela. Of course.

"Wait, if you aren't concerned with launching the 302s from the _Daedalus_ while in hyperspace, then how are you getting them out there in the first place, exactly?" Rodney asked. "They sure aren't equipped with hyperdrive themselves, you know."

"It was a thought," Radek muttered. "And I still think they'd be maneuverable in the field."

"Okay. Maybe. But you still have to somehow get them in field, and even then—forget it. The strength of forces in hyperspace basically converts space into a river and you're just along for the ride." Rodney picked up his sandwich, still wrapped in cellophane, and started to peel back the wrapping. "Good thing you aren't going to be flying any darts or 302s in the near future."

At least they could agree on that. Radek picked up his own sandwich.

"What?" Now Colonel Sheppard decided to listen? "Zelenka wants to fly a 302?"

"No." The easiest question of the day. Do you want to be a pilot, Zelenka? "No, we were just commenting how lucky it is that I'm not a pilot."

Rodney nodded, smiling smugly.

"Oh, come on, Rodney, you aren't much better." Radek looked at his sandwich, unduly upset about his lack of piloting skills. It wasn't like Rodney had any of those, either. Not really.

"Excuse me?" Rodney snapped. "I can fly. I can fly Puddle Jumpers. Sheppard? Tell Zelenka I can fly Puddle Jumpers." He looked to Colonel Sheppard for backup that, apparently, Sheppard was having a hard time coming to terms with giving.

Sheppard picked up a sliver of freeze-dried orange banana and nodded with reservation. "You can fly a Puddle Jumper," he said. Emphasis on the _can_. No need to get technical.

"Better if he's in the back monitoring systems," Radek guessed with a half-grin. That was where Radek was better, too. No shame in it. At least, he didn't think so.

"Yeah," Sheppard agreed, maybe a little too hastily. "Nothing wrong with that, though. It's better to keep the ship flying. I mean, anybody can point the Jumper in a direction and go. But nobody wants to be flying along and crash into the ocean." Sheppard scoffed and shook his head. "That'll ruin your day."

Radek could imagine…

No. No, wait. He couldn't imagine.

Sheppard slowly looked up at Rodney, saying, before he took a bite, "Unless it can fly underwater."

"Fly. Underwater. You realize—"

"You know what I mean, Rodney!" Sheppard snapped.

The conversation continued down a mostly-piloting path, with Sheppard actually participating since Esposito finished her lunch. It seemed like Sheppard had flown almost everything on Earth, and even a lot of things not on Earth. Even Rodney had a bit of experience flying Puddle Jumpers, which left Radek squarely on the outside of the conversation.

Except when Sheppard poked fun at Rodney's inept piloting. Radek felt perfectly at home doing that.

If Radek didn't know any better, he'd say he almost enjoyed himself. Almost thought they should do this more often. Birthdays came only once a year. But, if nobody knew, it wasn't much of an excuse to break out of the ordinary, was it?

"Nothing like a gruesome crash to remind you that piloting is dangerous…" Rodney muttered during a lull.

Okay, maybe it was a good thing that birthdays only came once a year.

Sheppard arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"I was just thinking about Jumper Six. You're almost done repairing it, aren't you?" Rodney asked.

"Um, yes…" Radek mumbled. He looked at Sheppard helplessly, then back at Rodney. "Yes, I'm finished. I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

"On that note," Sheppard said, standing up with his empty tray. "I'll get out of here. Later, Rodney. Zelenka." He nodded to each of them and went on his way.

Rodney watched him go before turning back to Radek. "What about Jumper Six?"

"Well, since this was my day off and I'm working for you, instead, I was hoping that you could do a favor for me…?" He watched Rodney pale as if he was just as afraid of flying as Radek was.

Radek wasn't afraid of flying. He just… he didn't like it. That was all.

"No. Uh, no, sorry, I can't." Rodney gathered his own tray and various plastic pieces of garbage.

Radek didn't even get a chance to call him on that wild tale as he hurried to follow Rodney. He opened his mouth to object before Rodney jumped in with another excuse.

"I'm having lunch with Doctor Brown tomorrow, since she was busy today."

"You owe me."

There were plenty of reasons besides his taking Rodney's birthday for him. For example, his scalp still itched. Who knew Radek was allergic to M7G grass? Probably. Rodney got to be allergic to all citrus. It was believable if Radek was allergic to a specific variety of grass used for hair-braiding on a planet located in the Pegasus galaxy. It was perfectly reasonable.

"What—for lunch?" Rodney demanded.

Radek made a sarcastic show of thinking about it. "No, I mean I'm working today. My usual day off." Rodney didn't look convinced. "You sent me offworld on the year anniversary of my ex-wife's death at my express request to not do that. I'm sure I asked very nicely, too."

"Yeah, but I actually saved you a lot of trouble by not listening to you, didn't I?" Rodney asked as he deposited his tray and plasticware to be cleaned and the ball of cellophane in the nearest trash bin. "I really only have your best interest at heart. And it would be to your benefit to get over your fear of flying in Puddle Jumpers."

"It's not—" Radek was about to say it wasn't fear, per se. But he wasn't sure whether it was or not. "That's not the point. We had squirrel, Rodney. Three times."

"Anna doesn't hate you anymore," Rodney pointed out, his irritation mounting. He tended toward squeaking when he was irritated.

"There was grass in my hair."

Radek didn't know how to articulate how much he'd hated going to M7G. Yes, he'd gotten to spend some good quality time with Anna, which was great. Of course. He wouldn't have traded that assignment in retrospect. But that didn't change the fact that it was an uncomfortable and inconvenient assignment, either, and Rodney gave it to him just to spite him.

Or maybe he was avoiding how much he didn't want to take Jumper Six out for a spin. Yes, the last time he was in a Jumper, he'd been staring down the prow of a Wraith hive ship. He'd been terrified, but more concerned with getting Sheppard's team home safe. Even those brief jaunts to and from planets from space 'gates were not his favorite thing in the galaxy. Major Lorne was a passable pilot.

Radek loved the Puddle Jumpers. Just hated flying.

Okay, so it wasn't just the squirrels. "Look, flying is not… it's not my favorite activity in the best of times, alright?" Radek admitted quietly. Hated it so much he was maybe one step away from outright begging Rodney to do it. Hoped it didn't come to that, though.

Rodney paused. Looked at him. "You're afraid of flying?"

Radek winced. "Well, do you have to be so blunt about it?" And his own horrific version of _exposure therapy_ wasn't working very well.

Rodney considered this new information. He was just going to tell Radek he had to suck it up and do it because it was his job and, surprise, adults just do that.

"But even you must admit you always give me the worst assignments."

"Those are randomly assigned," Rodney objected.

That was possible. Radek's life hadn't exactly let him strike it rich in casinos, now, had it? Still… "Well, either I have had the worst luck imaginable for the past year and a half or my boss, who isn't that fond of me in the first place, has been giving me these undesirable assignments." Radek waited for Rodney to respond, but he didn't say anything. "Occam's razor."

Not exactly the most logically sound assertion he'd made in his life. It was perfectly possible that both of those things were happening at the same time. It was why he wasn't making his living gambling.

"Alright!" Rodney suddenly sighed, loudly and at length. "Alright, fine. I'll do it. I should probably check up on your work anyway, hm?"

And Radek almost thanked him.

"Maybe I'll take Anna…" **

* * *

 **Czech Things**

* "Freeze-dried? Military rations, I think…" Thanks, Google.

* * *

 _A/N: I_ know _this random scientist isn't Rafaela Esposito. Doesn't even look like her at all. But… well, I'm just going to say that it's Esposito for fun. Okay? Okay. Not that it's_ much _fun; it's just some fun. Even though I'm pretty sure she's not a flirt like this other chick._

 ** _Thank yous & etc.  
(all of you are the best, seriously; thanks for reading)_**

 _Adela- I'm glad! Thanks for reading and see you next week._

 _Fulmen- I'm glad to see you, too! And I'm happy everything's good with you. I'm glad you still like the story. :)_

 _Ms. Meow- Happy to hear you still enjoy it. Feel free to recommend a story! I'm always looking for something fun._

* * *

 _Next time: DUN DUN DUNNNN~_

**just kidding just kidding that's definitely not happening  
I do feel like it should be something special, though. One-hundred. Big doings. But I'm not.


	100. All Time Low

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Radek's been working on repairing a Jumper that was broken in a crash (since Chapter 82) and just narrowly escaped having to do the test flight on it (last chapter). It's only fair, since he was eating squirrel and had grass in his hair a few days ago._

* * *

 **Chapter 100. All Time Low.**

"Her name is Rafaela," Radek offered helpfully.

"Rafaela." Reed repeated her name with more of a trill than Radek put on it.

"That scientist in the Doc's lab?" Lorne asked absently from a few meters away. He had a P-90 spread out in a dozen pieces in front of him. He picked up a piece, and started cleaning it. "Cute smile."

Reed chuckled. "Uh-huh, yeah, sure." Reed started picking apart his weapon. "Cute smile."

Major Lorne didn't answer. Just grinned.

"It's true." Whether "smile" was a euphemism or not. Meanwhile Radek just managed to pick apart his gun and hadn't yet started to clean it. He'd never missed this particular after-practice business as soon as he realized that it was more a ceremony than actual business. Even though Major Lorne offered to take care of it all for him. After all, he said, Radek had another job. Lorne was _only a major_. Whatever that was supposed to mean.

Coughlin shook his head, as though disturbed with the direction this particular conversation was headed. "I was much more comfortable with thinking of McKay's lab as the least libidinous place on Atlantis."

"Excuse me—Esposito is in my lab." Even though he agreed with that wholeheartedly. Little chance of that now, though. Doctor Brown came by to say hello on her way to see Rodney sometimes. "I have a lab, too."

"Okay. More like the whole physics department." Reed's revision was no less insulting.

"I guess you don't know anything about physicists, then." Radek ignored Reed's low whistle and Lorne's chuckle.

"Yeah?" Coughlin might not have meant for that to come across like the challenge it did.

"I guess we shouldn't forget that somehow Radar^ managed to walk into the Central Tower and walk out with our fearless leader's heart in his back pocket," Reed mumbled, as though he was also concerned with thinking of the physics department that way.

"This is good for you, Reed." Radek looked up momentarily from his gun before putting it back together. "Play your cards right, and you might change your mind about the physics department."

"Looking forward to it."

Coughlin snapped the last piece of his weapon into place before placing it on the nearby rack. "On that note, I'm out of here."

"Maybe a little physics could be good for you, too," Radek wondered as Coughlin walked away.

"Good bye!" Coughlin said over Radek as he left the room.

Grinning, Radek went back to his weapon. Almost done, but Reed had finished a long time ago. He was far and away the fastest, but he didn't often stay to listen to Radek offer veiled references to the physics department's after-hours activities.

What else were they supposed to do after a long day of number-crunching and star-gazing?

"I'm out, too," Reed said after a moment.

"See you in a few days," Major Lorne said.

"Bye, Major, Radar."

Radek kept on in silence for a few moments, listening to the industrious squeak of Major Lorne's rags polishing every available surface of his weapon. He wondered if Reed would be successful in his attempts to even talk to Esposito. She was surprisingly shy for how beautiful she was. Of course, it wasn't every day of the week that Radek talked to a woman like that. It may have just been a façade she wore to drive away undesirables like Reed. And like Radek, come to think of it.

"How's Anna?" Lorne asked a few moments later.

His sigh was almost reflex at this point. "She's fine. Going to the mainland tomorrow."

"Is that bad?" Lorne asked.

Radek shrugged. Not in so many words. He just wished teenagers were a little less prone to the same activities that Reed was. Not to put too fine a point on it. "It's not bad, exactly."

Lorne said nothing.

"There is an Athosian boy on the mainland that she wants to see."

"Oh." Lorne nodded knowingly. "Reed isn't the only one who's noticed the physics department, I guess."

"She's not in the physics department."

Radek was surprised how much he bristled at the implication. She wasn't in the physics department—she wasn't in any department. She was still a child. She didn't know anything, comparatively, about herself or about Athosians, never mind this boy. He trusted her judgement, yes, but only when she had all the information. How was she supposed to make any sort of judgement with so little?

"No. I guess not." Lorne slowly disassembled a few more bits of his gun and seemed to think long and hard about the piece in his hand. "She might be someday."

"Not if I have any say in it."

"Don't know if you do, Doc."

Radek hated euphemisms. He really did.

He sighed. "I know." He'd rather talk about Reed's adventures in the physics department, or commiserate with Coughlin's discomfort with the idea of McKay and Brown. Almost anything.

His daughter was no longer just a little girl with ladybug clips in her hair. And he hated that, too.

"Fortunately, I never had to worry about that kind of thing." Lorne didn't sound like he considered that so fortunate. But Radek didn't know what to say if that were true.

"Could still, someday," he said after a moment.

Lorne shook his head. "Nah."

If he hadn't been surprised at his offering a hopeful _maybe_ about Major Lorne's future family situation, he may have been surprised at Lorne's immediate denial.

"Not my thing."

Whatever that meant. Maybe he meant that he didn't want a family. After all, a family didn't necessarily mix well with their jobs. Or maybe he meant it more… sideways. Not _that_ kind of family.

"Oh," Radek said with a nod. Tried not to sound too knowing. Because he didn't know. Ubiquitous maxim of the military was not to ask. It was one Radek had followed for most of his life, and he wasn't even military. He'd spent most of his life hoping that others would extend him the same courtesy, and it'd worked out so well most assumed he'd never been married, never mind any additional assumptions.

It was an unfair assumption in this case. Lorne was probably just smarter than Radek—didn't want the kind of stress that came along with having a family.

"Just think it'd be unfair, you know?" Lorne said. "I can't imagine a world where I'd be home enough."

Radek understood that. Too well. But he hadn't thought it through in time, not like Lorne seemed to. "I wish I'd known that when I started. I might still be married." He hesitated, then backpedaled. "Well, I mean, until—never mind." He wouldn't still be married. He would have been married longer, though. He'd be a widower now, instead of divorced almost ten years ago.

Lorne half-chuckled, maybe for Radek's embarrassment. "You seem to be doing okay now. Family sorts itself out, right?"

"We'll see." He sure hoped so, anyway.

Radek put his weapon back with the others. Lorne was still knee-deep in his weapons-cleaning.

"Later, Doc."

Radek gave a farewell nod. "Major."

He headed toward the Central Tower. He had some sensor tests to run. Part of his bargain with Rodney, which he still considered his side the short end. It was going to take an awfully long time to make up for breakfast squirrels and face paint. Besides, diagnostics were better than worrying over Anna, physicists, and the qualities of a cute smile. The idea that anybody out there might be looking at Anna like Reed looked at Esposito.

Having a daughter sure changed a person, didn't it…?

The tower was quiet and lonely even though it was the middle of the day. Elizabeth was in her office, staring intently at her computer screen. He decided not to interrupt her and instead went to the open chair at the console in the back behind Chuck.

The sensors went about their work, monitoring away. A few science teams were training in the upper atmosphere, flying Puddle Jumpers through some very simple runs. McKay's Jumper Six skimmed over the ocean on the other side of the planet. So far, so good. He'd be back in an hour or two.

Radek and Chuck exchanged pleasantries and stayed quiet for the next twenty or so minutes. It was an unusually calm, pleasant day. Since when did pleasant calm put Radek on edge?

Probably because Chuck spoke up about twenty seconds later. "Um. Doctor Z?" Chuck's brow creased in confusion as he turned about his console. He pressed a few buttons uncertainly before continuing, "Are sensors functioning normally?"

Radek gave the readout a glance. "I don't see anything strange."

Chuck didn't explain himself for two agonizing seconds. "I lost Jumper Six."

"What?"

Radek pushed himself up from his chair to go see what Chuck was seeing. As Chuck said… he saw nothing. Jumper Six had just disappeared. Jumpers One, Two, and Three were still showing on their training runs, the moon was still in orbit, and even deep space sensors were chucking out information at a quick clip.

Maybe the Jumper's transmitter just stopped working. It would have been reasonable if a few non-key systems had a few rough spots left. They'd basically just rebuilt the thing. It would make sense if a few little things had a crossed wire or two.

It couldn't be a huge problem. It couldn't be.

"Okay. Uh. Hm." Radek paused and tried to figure out what to do. He had to tell Elizabeth. Even if it was nothing. He pointed vaguely at the screen. "Take down all the information we had about it before it dropped off… direction, speed, altitude, everything… I'll be right back."

Chuck gave some sort of affirmative while Radek went to talk to Elizabeth. This wasn't going to be a fun conversation. And it was shaping up to be a pretty terrible day, too.

#

The hustle and bustle of the Central Tower seemed more demure than ordinary. Anna realized that she used to "hand-deliver" her emails with papers attached for Elizabeth. She'd stopped doing that as soon as she found out about Elizabeth and Radek. That couldn't have been fair.

It wasn't unfair.

It wasn't the most mature response ever, either.

She was surprised to see Radek hunched over a monitor, his head in his hands. A pencil laced between his fingers. She approached him carefully, seeing that he was thinking about something. Very, very hard. He didn't seem to notice she was there.

His console seemed to be sending out a message on a loop… like some sort of distress call.

" _Are you okay?_ " she said quietly.

He glanced up for half a moment, shook his head, then looked back down. " _Uh, yes. Thank you. Fine_."

Was she supposed to believe his words or his mannerism? " _Are you sure?_ " she asked. Maybe she should have just gone straight for the issue and asked _what's wrong_ instead. Cut out a few unnecessary sentences. But she figured, at this point, it was a sort of game.

" _I just lost Rodney's Jumper. That's all_." His voice trailed away as he consulted some complicated-looking charts and then made a few notes on tablet under his elbow. " _Hydrodynamics is a pain in the ass._ "

Anna smirked. Tried not to. " _Is it?_ "

" _I always hated it_." He pointed at his screen, the one displaying some sort of map. It looked almost like a topographical map, but with arrows over it going in all sorts of directions. " _Currents, speed with which the Puddle Jumper will sink. If it sinks. How deep can it go before the pressure will crush it?_ " His voice trailed off momentarily.

Anna looked to the map, recognizing a half dozen of Radek's notations over the screen. He drew very peculiar arrows; maybe these were supposed to indicate currents. He wrote things in Czech like speed and direction and what he thought the Jumper would do under these conditions. Anna knew one thing for sure… she didn't know that the Jumpers could work like submarines, but she definitely didn't want to be the first to find out.

" _I'm not even sure they crashed into the ocean, yet._ "

" _So they're just missing?_ "

He didn't answer for long enough that Anna felt her heart shudder. Was Rodney… dead? It wasn't an uncommon question, but it wasn't usually weekly. And it wasn't usually Radek's fault.

" _Yes. They could have flown to the mainland and landed there for Rodney to make repairs._ "

Anna glanced at another of his computer screens. " _Do you want somebody to go look for them?_ "

She made a quick guess as to where they might have taken the Puddle Jumper on the mainland if that were the case. According to some of his earlier graphs, they were headed in a roughly northeasterly direction. That put the mainland several minutes away from the place they lost contact.

" _Because I could,_ " she added before turning back to look at him.

He was smiling, though apparently trying to hide it. " _No. That's very nice of you, but I don't think that will be necessary. We have other Jumpers out. They are going to go check out the mainland as soon as they're done with their training._ "

" _I'm done with my training,_ " Anna pointed out, adding in a mumble, " _mostly._ "

" _I know…_ " Radek hesitated, then, like maybe he was considering it. " _It may not be a bad idea. I'll see about assigning you to one of the search teams_."

Anna almost jumped up to hug him, but that would look weird, so she didn't. She settled for bouncing slightly on her toes. " _Thank you! I know a few tricks with the sensors, also. John taught me_."

" _Don't get your hopes up, okay? But maybe you will teach your copilot something…_ " Radek sighed and looked back at his graph.

Anna doubted that, but she was at least somewhat certain that she wouldn't be… Well, she liked to hope that she wouldn't be a pain in the ass, at least. She noticed he'd trailed off to continue working on his calculations, so she left him to it. He muttered something about it being unlikely that communications would go down at the exact same time as propulsion.

Finding missing Puddle Jumpers sounded like a tough job.

Anna pushed on the door into Elizabeth's office and waited for a moment to be acknowledged.

"Good morning, Anna." Elizabeth finally said something, but she sounded tired and stressed. Maybe losing a Puddle Jumper could do that to a person. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you?" She was actually quite happy, since Radek made it sound like she could actually do something slightly important. Assuming things went well for the next few hours. Maybe hours. Or poorly. She didn't know what to wish.

Elizabeth shrugged, set aside whatever she was working on, and looked at Anna straight on. "Well as can be expected. I wouldn't have picked for a Puddle Jumper to go missing today." She paused, then smiled. "Or any other day."

"Radek's working on it," Anna offered.

"Yes, he is." Elizabeth looked no less concerned about the situation for that bit of information. "I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment of silence.

"Yeah…" Anna sighed. "Sorry."

"It's good to see you again," Elizabeth said with a bright smile. "What do you have for me?"

Anna didn't get to answer, because Radek came in. "You know, Elizabeth—sorry, Anna—I was thinking that it's possible that they haven't crashed in the ocean. Maybe their transmitter just went dead and they landed on the mainland to repair it."

"Is that possible?" Elizabeth asked.

Radek nodded. "I think it's worth sending a few Jumper teams to search for them."

Elizabeth sighed and nodded. "That would certainly be better than trying to search the ocean for them." She took a moment to narrow one of her eyes on him. "But is it likely that's what happened?"

Radek shrugged. "It's not unlikely. Jumper Six was in immaculate condition as far as I could tell, but malfunctions happen. Malfunctions don't usually happen everywhere at once. If their transmitter is down… well, it could mean that they crashed, but it could also mean the transmitter just went down."

Elizabeth nodded. "Alright. I'll send out Lorne's team…" She looked down at her tablet.

"It was actually Anna's idea." Radek glanced between Elizabeth and Anna for a moment. Anna held her breath. "Could she go, perhaps? She has experience with Jumper sensors."

Elizabeth didn't look up, but smirked at her list of personnel who'd passed the Puddle Jumper training. "I'm sure Major Lorne would like to have a copilot."

"Thank you. Excuse me."

Radek slipped out before Anna could offer even the smallest expression of a _thank you_. He hurried back to his desk, picked up his pencil on one hand and a stylus in the other. He started talking to Chuck.

Elizabeth glanced up at Anna. "I guess whatever-it-is can wait. You'd better get to the Jumper Bay if you're going to go."

Anna almost bolted out the door without saying anything, but it occurred to her she should say _something_. "Yes, ma'am!" she shouted just before the door slammed shut behind her.

 _Ma'am_? Where did _that_ come from…?

Who cared? She was going on a search and rescue mission!

* * *

 _A/N: Ayyyy! 100! *throws confetti*_

 _To celebrate, I guess I tossed Rodney in the ocean. And named the chapter ironically. Simple pleasures._

 _Here's to you all, for reading so long. Here's to the next hundred. May they be interesting._

 ** _Thank yous & Etc._**

 _Adela- Glad you're still enjoying it. Hm. I actually doubt that one can get actually seasick in a puddle jumper (unless it's completely psychological) because of inertial dampeners. But as to whether or not Anna gets seasick? Well... we may never know. :o_

* * *

 _Next time: Just don't panic, okay? Are you panicking?_


	101. Grace Under Pressure

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _A/N: ... Whoops._

 _Previously: We lost Rodney… probably in the ocean somewhere. But Anna gets to go on a search team, so that's fun. Except that Major Lorne asks a lot of questions (sort of in regard to chapters 91-92)._

* * *

 **Chapter 101. Grace Under Pressure.**

Anna knew Major Lorne better than most military members of Atlantis, except the majority of their interaction had revolved around a sort of mutual distant apathy. He let her join him when he was shooting targets in the shooting range sometimes. He'd brought her flowers when she was injured from a fall off a mountain. Beyond that, she watched him eat lunch alone and wonder what kind of tells he had in poker.

Major Lorne waited for her outside Jumper Nine. Anna could only imagine he engaged in every last of his day-to-day activities dressed in that uniform. Well, Radek was also pretty much always in his uniform.

"Sorry," Anna said breathlessly as she ran up into the Puddle Jumper.

"Just got here myself," Major Lorne said, walking into the Jumper behind her and closing the door.

Anna leaned on the control console to watch the two other Jumpers lift off to exit through the opening hole in the roof. She glanced to Major Lorne as he slid past her and into the pilot's chair.

"You take sensors, then…?" His tone clearly communicated discomfort with this whole arrangement. Maybe he wasn't sure that Anna was capable of working the sensors, or at least not capable of doing it very well.

Maybe he just didn't like babysitting.

Anna regretted asking to come already.

She sank into the seat next to Major Lorne and laid her hands on the controls in front of her. She knew that _somehow_ —she didn't know—the Puddle Jumper could tell the difference between the person sitting in the pilot seat and in the copilot seat. It was convenient that it was the side of the Jumper that she would consider the driver's side, too.

"Mainland in twelve minutes," Major Lorne said as they zoomed over the ocean, away from Atlantis.

"Okay." Anna couldn't see Coughlin's Jumper anymore, as it sped away toward another spot to start the search. Reed's Jumper was just a speck against distant clouds.

Major Lorne took a breath. Then paused. "Uh, so, Zelenka tells me that you'll be going to the mainland again tomorrow. Visiting the Athosians?"

Anna frowned. "He told you that?"

"Well, I asked."

"Oh." Anna's answer was quieter than she expected. "Yeah, I am." She knew that she was an easy topic for people outside Radek's usual social circle to start up a conversation with him. A convenient subject to fill uncomfortable minutes between two people in the transporter. People probably asked questions about Anna all the time.

"Should I have not asked?" Major Lorne wondered.

"It's not that… uh… what did he say?"

Major Lorne smirked. "Mostly that you were going to the mainland tomorrow."

There was a long pause while Anna tried to figure out what to say next.

"Should he have said something else?"

Anna supposed she basically asked for that question. No need to be cagey with the major. Radek probably still considered him something like an unfortunate necessity. Major Lorne probably thought of Radek the same way. Yet Anna practically held the door open for him to ask these searching questions.

"No. But he might have said something else. I don't think he wants me to go."

"Oh, I see…" Major Lorne said. It didn't take long for him to guess, "Boyfriend?"

Anna shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Radek just worries. All the time."

Major Lorne chuckled as he made a minor adjustment to go through some turbulence. "I guess I'd worry all the time, too, if I had a pretty daughter."

Why she was blushing, Anna had no idea. "Is it so hard to believe that all I want to do is go hiking?"

Major Lorne nodded. "Not a lot of mountains on Atlantis."

Anna doubted she would be in this position if Radek hadn't caught her and Iskaan kissing in the back of the Puddle Jumper. Yeah, that basically couldn't have gone worse.

Finally, she sighed. "Maybe it is a little hard to believe…"

Major Lorne shrugged, like maybe he didn't know whether it was or not. Maybe he didn't care, either. Why should he?

"Can I ask you a question?" Anna said softly.

"Sure." Major Lorne didn't sound too certain, but by the time he'd said it he apparently accepted that it was his answer.

Anna was no longer certain she wanted to ask the question. But, in many ways, it was better than asking Radek. Radek cared too much to give a straight answer, to give a real answer. With any luck, Major Lorne wouldn't care very much at all.

"I like Iskaan, and I think Iskaan likes me. Well… no, I mean, I know he does."

"The Athosian kid?" Major Lorne interrupted.

"Yes. But how… how do you know that somebody's sincere?"

Anna looked over just in time to see Major Lorne stare at the screen in front of him like he'd been caught in a very uncomfortable spotlight. He sighed. "Oh, god; I don't know, kiddo."

Anna hesitated. "Kiddo?"

"Um. Yeah…" Major Lorne didn't sound too sure about that, either. "It's a nickname. Like sometimes 'doc' is for 'doctor' or 'Ev' is for 'Evan.' 'Kiddo' is for 'kid.'"

"I'm not a kid," Anna pouted without thinking. "Why does everyone treat me like a child?"

Major Lorne apparently found that funny. "Because you are?" Major Lorne glanced at her, maybe to see what effect his answer had. He looked back ahead to the ocean flying beneath them after about a half-second. "It's not a bad thing. In fact, it's a good thing. I call my sister 'kiddo' and she's thirty. Hell, I wish I were a kid still."

"No, you don't," Anna muttered, wondering why adults bothered saying things like that. "Nobody ever trusts you to make your own decisions. In fact, most of the time people assume that you don't know what's going on at all."

"Okay, maybe that's a little unfair," Major Lorne allowed. "But I definitely bucked the system just like you are. I didn't get where I am now by following every last order I was given. But I sure didn't get where I am now by ignoring every last order I was given, either. You'll be taking orders from somebody the rest of your life. That's just how it is. Right now, you're just taking orders from people who love you. That's what being a kid means."

Anna took a deep breath. That was true, at least. "That doesn't mean they're always right, though. Radek doesn't know anything about Iskaan."

"He may not know exactly what he's talking about… but he probably knows what he's talking about," Major Lorne said. "But there are certain things about that age that are sort of common no matter who or where you are. I was mostly interested in basketball. But you can't be in a locker room for thirty seconds without knowing that for a lot of guys, the prime interest was girls." With that, he looked at Anna, as if somehow apologizing for the behavior of his entire gender. "And not many of the guys I knew were in the game for marrying their high school sweetheart, if you know what I mean."

"You mean they aren't sincere?" Anna asked.

"They are. Probably," Major Lorne said. "But probably not the way you mean it."

Anna stayed quiet. He was right. She hadn't understood what anyone around her was saying at all lately. She had been angry, sometimes for perfectly legitimate reasons, but she wasn't the greatest at putting herself in another's place to correctly figure out what they were thinking. Much less what they were feeling.

She didn't know what she was feeling half the time…

"Listen… Anna." Major Lorne took a deep breath like he wasn't sure what to say, but he was going to say it anyway. "When your dad tries to remind you that you're a kid, he's not just talking about you."

They stayed quiet for a while until the mainland showed as a thin ribbon on the horizon. She thought about the Jumper's sensors for a second and they pulled up in a little box in the corner of the windshield. Maybe Major Lorne was right, and Radek didn't mean anything personal about her being a child.

Radek did mean it that way. He wasn't interested in knowing what kind of person Iskaan was at all.

Maybe that was okay, though. Knowing what kind of person _anybody_ was…? That wasn't in Radek's job description. Maybe he wanted Anna to make that decision herself, and he just had to remind her that Iskaan was, deep down, a kid just like Anna.

"Thanks, Major Lorne."

"Call me Evan."

Anna glanced at him, and he glanced back. Smiled. "Okay. Thanks, then, Evan."

"Anytime, kiddo."

#

It wasn't time to give up. He'd only been at this for about an hour or so. But his brain was slowly turning into mush as he stared at his equations for calculating where Jumper Six might be if it crashed into the ocean. With any luck, the transponder had just shut off, though, and McKay and Griffin set down somewhere on the mainland to make repairs. Radek would get an earful if that was the case, but not as much as he'd get if they ended up drowned in the ocean.

Rodney's ghost would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Radek shut off the recording he'd set on loop and said, "Griffin, McKay, come in please." He sighed. "Jumper Six, come in please. Griffin, McKay, come in please."

"Yeah, we're here."

Radek stood up, his hand to his headset. "Rodney—thank god! We thought you—I've been trying to get a hold of you for over an hour." Radek turned to Chuck. "Find Elizabeth, tell her I've made contact."

He listened to Rodney talk to Griffin, asking him if he was okay. Griffin answered in what amounted to a negative. It occurred to Radek that he didn't know if Rodney was okay.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I think we could both use an extended stay in the infirmary," Rodney snapped. "What the hell happened?"

"The Jumper dropped off our screens," he said. "It crashed into the ocean."

He could almost see Rodney rolling his eyes. Of course, Rodney could probably see that he was in the ocean. He wasn't blind. Radek could only imagine the scolding he'd get for that.

"Yes, yes, yes, we're under water…" Rodney's voice trailed off.

"Yes, you are." There he was, offering only the most obvious insights again. But what else was he supposed to say? He didn't exactly have any good news to relay at this point. He sat back down and set to triangulating the signal.

Rodney didn't hesitate for long. "Then how are you going to find us?"

"We've determined the direction of your radio signal, but not the range." Radek cringed, and waited for Rodney to yell at him that his information was about as good as saying at least the Jumper was still on the same planet.

"How deep are we?" Rodney asked instead. Apparently to Griffin, since Radek had no idea.

Griffin answered something, muffled by the distance between Griffin and Rodney's mic.

It obviously wasn't a great answer. Rodney groaned. "Radek, you're gonna have to hurry it up. We're already twelve hundred feet and sinking at a rate of about, uh, twenty feet a minute."

Radek found himself frowning and saying, "Very impressive," before he could stop himself.

"Excuse me?" Rodney screeched in his ear.

"Well, we always theorized that the Jumpers could be utilized as submersibles…" Radek offered weakly. It was sort of exciting. Horrible, obviously, because twelve hundred feet was really deep.

"Yes, yes, yes!" McKay snapped. "I theorized it!"

"That's almost the maximum depth of a nuclear-powered submarine," Radek said.

"Any more observations you want to make?" Rodney growled, and then he stopped and gasped. Griffin said something, to which McKay asked, "Can you move?"

Radek didn't speak in case Griffin said something important, and he didn't even have to ask what was going on.

"Radek," Rodney said a moment later, "the windshield's giving way under the pressure of the ocean!"

"Move into the rear compartment—the seal should be able to hold." _Should?_ He could almost hear the objections now, but they never came.

Instead, Rodney said, "One step ahead of you." Not two second later, Rodney shouted, "No! No, no, no, no, no, no!" Radek heard Griffin's voice, saying who-knew-what. Rodney was panicking… The door probably wouldn't shut. The Jumper had to have been damaged in the crash into the ocean, because it was in perfect shape. Before it crashed.

Why'd it crash, then?

"Maybe," McKay snipped a second later, "if you were more focused on flying than enlightening me on the history of tomatoes…" He paused, maybe for Griffin to speak. "Yeah—because it's not my fault!" Another pause. "What are you doing?"

No, _that_ was panic.

"No, what are you doing? Griffin?" Rodney shouted, apparently ineffectively. "Griffin!"

"Rodney, what's happening?"

It was too late. The signal went dead, and Radek could only guess as to what happened. Maybe they'd managed to shut the door in time. Maybe not.

Radek stood up. "Elizabeth…!"

No, no, no, Rodney did _not_ die of drowning in a Jumper crash. Especially not a Jumper that Radek had just finished repairing.

Rodney was fine.

Work with that assumption for now. Life support would keep them alive for a while, maybe long enough to figure out how to save them.

But how were they supposed to do that? They were already deeper than the Jumpers could go.

He took a deep breath as Elizabeth came into the room, making for his console in a straight line. " _You're fine_ ," he muttered to Rodney, even though the headset was long since dead. " _You will be fine._ " Rodney had to be fine. He'd always been before.

But all those times before, none of that had really been Radek's fault.

What was he going to tell Elizabeth…? He looked down at his calculations for triangulating the signal from the Jumper coming up frustratingly short. " _You'd better be fine,_ " he finished before Elizabeth could start throwing down the questions. " _Or I'm never going to forgive myself_."

* * *

 _Next time: Something's gotta give._


	102. Bends

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech_."  
 _This is a thought._

 _Previously: Rodney is under water (since chapter 100). And I guess if you want to know what happened, you can watch the Stargate: Atlantis episode "Grace Under Pressure."_

* * *

 **Chapter 102. Bends.**

All of Atlantis seemed to relax once it was clear that Rodney wasn't going to drown in a Puddle Jumper 450 meters underwater. That would have ruined Anna's week. Probably Radek's, too, but he might be too in shock to process if something like that happened. John and Radek had reported they'd be back on Atlantis soon, but they wanted to take it a little slow to give Rodney the best chance at only having mild decompression sickness. Symptoms were, apparently, a given for all of them no matter what. They'd be worst for Rodney. But Doctor Beckett was sure he could utilize Atlantis's tech advantage to help him out a bit.

It would be a while before they returned, though. Anna found herself back in Elizabeth's office. She still had her paper to send…

She tiptoed to the chair in front of Elizabeth's desk and tried to sit without alerting Elizabeth to her presence. It didn't work.

"Hello, again." Elizabeth looked up with a bright smile. "Thank you for volunteering to search for Rodney and Griffin earlier today." She looked a bit apologetic. Maybe because they'd lost yet another brave soul.

But Griffin was a _Daedalus_ pilot, not one of the Atlantis expedition members. He liked to watch birds.

"Yeah…" Anna sighed and pulled out her tablet. She put it on the desk so Elizabeth could look at the paper she'd written.

Elizabeth slid the tablet across the desk toward her and, after musing quietly about the title Anna had chosen, began to read silently. She didn't seem to notice that Anna shrank back in her chair. If she had noticed, she might have said something. Or maybe not. Maybe Elizabeth had planned to let Anna wallow in her feelings of guilt for a while before dragging it out of her.

Anna decided not to give Elizabeth the satisfaction.

"I think I should apologize." But, then, Anna hadn't really meant to blurt it out like that, either.

Elizabeth glanced up in surprise. "For what?"

Anna was momentarily glad that it wasn't very obvious to Elizabeth what Anna ought to apologize for. It was nice to be overlooked, in a way. "I was very rude to you."

"Oh, that." Elizabeth blushed a little, and shrugged. "It was completely my fault."

That may not have been completely incorrect. "Well, I shouldn't have been rude, anyway."

Anna took a deep breath and forced herself to look up at Elizabeth. Think of her, just a moment, as somebody other than her teacher and the leader of Atlantis. As somebody who might be around a lot. As somebody who… _liked_ Radek?

"I hope we can still be friends," Elizabeth offered quietly.

Anna considered that for a moment. She hadn't considered what they had before to be a friendship that could be preserved, but maybe it was. Whatever the case, Anna didn't have many friends around here. She sighed. "Me, too."

If Elizabeth had been anybody else, she might have gone on to simply pick up Anna's tablet again and start reading, but she didn't. "Is there anything I can do to make this less awkward for you?" Elizabeth asked.

Less awkward. Making this _less_ awkward wasn't going to solve much, at this point. The level of awkwardness was so high that Anna doubted it was a matter of degree anymore.

That wasn't the most diplomatic thing to say, though. Anna shook her head, offered, "I don't think so. It would be wrong to ask you to change I think."

Elizabeth didn't look convinced.

"You need a friend, too," Anna offered, by way of explanation. She wasn't sure that Radek was fit friend material, but she guessed that Elizabeth could make that judgment for herself…

Besides. They weren't _friends_.

Good lord, stop thinking about that. Anna squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head. "I mean… you know what I mean."

Elizabeth seemed mildly amused. "I think so." She picked up the tablet and looked at it. It was clear she wasn't reading it. "I'm not suggesting Radek and I each pretend the other doesn't exist. But I don't want to take up time he might otherwise spend with you… especially if you don't want me there."

It was a little late for the first, anyway. "No, that's not… that's not what I want." Anna sighed and shook her head, a bit disbelieving of the words just about to come out of her mouth. "To be honest, I don't know if I want you there… but I haven't even given it a try."

Elizabeth didn't respond, probably because she wasn't sure what Anna meant. Anna wasn't very sure what Anna meant. No, Anna knew. She wanted Elizabeth to let Anna have the chance to give the relationship a sporting try of acceptance. Anna couldn't do that if it was a secret.

Anna stood up and said, "I want to know what it would be like… if the three of us were together. After all… I'm part of Radek's family." Anna twisted her toe slightly on the floor, itching to run out of the room. That wasn't happening, though. "Right?" She glanced up to see what Elizabeth thought of that.

Elizabeth smiled, and nodded. "That's a good point. I really should be the one apologizing to you. You are part of Radek's family, and it was pretty unfair of me to not think of you that way."

And if Elizabeth realized that, well… Anna thought maybe this wouldn't be as awful as she originally thought. "Then I think we can be friends."

#

Last time Radek was going anywhere near thousands of meters under water. He didn't care if Rodney's life was on the line or not. Sheppard could do it himself. Rodney at least had the luxury of descending at a nice, comfortable rate of twenty feet a minute. Sheppard and Radek maybe doubled that in their panicked state to find him.

Carson walked by, glanced at him, and then looked back with a more serious expression. "You okay?"

Radek shrugged. "I suppose I'm just getting a preview of what joint pain might be for me in another ten years…" He tried not to move, since that only made it worse. Unfortunately, that was his first impulse when his shoulders started to feel sore.

"Oh, aye…" Carson sighed sympathetically, coming to a stop next to Radek's gurney. "Colonel Sheppard's feeling about the same right now. I'll get you some pain killer, as well."

"It's not that bad," Radek objected before considering. When did he start turning down drugs…?

Carson gave him a sad look. "I'm afraid it's going to get worse before it gets better."

"Oh…"

Radek and Carson both looked to Radek's right. Rodney sprawled on a gurney, staring at the ceiling plaintively. "It's going to get worse?" He moaned and sat up to face them. "What do you mean, 'it's going to get worse'?"

"I mean…" Carson seemed to consider his words carefully. "The mild symptoms of decompression sickness are things like… you know, headache, fatigue, loss of appetite, a general feeling of illness…"

"Oh, god!" Rodney shrank with each word Carson spoke. "I have almost all of those. I'm fatigued—I feel like I can't even stand. I'm not hungry…"

"Well, that's not normal," Radek muttered, trying to conceal a grin.

Rodney looked up with alarm. "You're right! Carson, I'm not hungry! Feeling of illness? I'm way past that."

"Rodney…" Radek sighed, jumping in before Carson had a chance to reassure him. "You have a general feeling of illness just from getting out of bed in the morning."

"Oh." Rodney shot Radek a look. "And there's the headache. Thanks, Radek!"

Carson smirked and went to stand beside Rodney to take his pulse.

"If you don't take this seriously, how is Carson going to know whether you're embellishing or you actually have more serious symptoms?" Radek asked.

Rodney snapped at him a few times. "Wait, wait, shut up. Hold up some fingers."

Radek obliged, with three of his fingers, and sighed. "Rodney…"

With a blinking stare at Radek's extended phalanges, Rodney whimpered. "Oh, god… is that three fingers or six?"

Radek pulled his hand back and frowned. "Get ahold of yourself, Rodney."

"You're not the one who's gonna die of arterial gas embolism!"

"You're not gonna die." Carson rolled his eyes and gave Rodney a gentle guide to lying back down on the bed. "You're going to be just fine. Sheppard took the ascent slowly enough. You probably won't even have any serious symptoms."

When Rodney said nothing for a few minutes, inspecting the back of his hand, Carson started to walk away. Presumably for some aspirin, or a pill to knock Rodney out for a few hours until the worst of it was over.

Rodney suddenly sat up again and winced. He wasn't put off by that, though. He held his hand aloft for Carson's inspection. "Uh, wait, Carson, I'm molting."

Carson sighed and motioned for Rodney to follow him instead.

The infirmary felt empty, now, even though the usual people bustled around, working on whatever it was medical doctors and nurses worked on. Carson didn't expect Radek to have any of the worst symptoms. Besides mild joint pain, Radek didn't feel anything beyond mixed relief and regret they'd been able to get to Rodney in time. Rescuing Rodney was always like that.

In a few days, Rodney would forget the scathing lecture he'd given Radek about how to do his job correctly, because, in a few days, Radek would make some other mistake and Rodney's attention would be diverted. Radek would get another lecture, and the cycle would repeat. Hopefully Rodney wouldn't be put in mortal danger again anytime soon, though.

And all Radek had to do for the next few minutes was wait for a pain killer.

" _Whose idea was it to go underwater this time?_ " Anna wondered from beside him, quite suddenly.

He didn't know how she'd gotten there so silently, but maybe the infirmary was louder than he originally thought. Or else his ears weren't quire cooperating. Radek chuckled as he shrugged. " _Who knows?_ "

" _It is kind of cool that the Jumpers can go underwater, though, isn't it?_ " Anna asked. Her eyes lit up, presumably at the possibility that she could add "has piloted a submarine" on her future resume.

" _I suppose_ ," Radek said.

He tried not to wince at a new wave of pain washing through his spine and shoulders. He wished Carson would hurry up because he was exactly right when he said things would get worse before they got better. That was usually true, anyway.

" _I talked to Elizabeth…_ " Anna said quietly.

Radek couldn't imagine this conversation going well, either. More than one reason to have that pain killer sooner rather than later. " _Oh?_ "

She nodded. " _I thought… I thought I should apologize to her. For being rude. And I should apologize to you, too. Even though you definitely should have told me, I still shouldn't have been rude._ "

Oh, good. Now not only was he suffering from arduous joint pain, but also from the distinct impression that he was a pretty crappy human being, too. Either that, or hallucinations.

" _No, please don't apologize_ ," he mumbled. " _It was really my fault. I'm very sorry_."

" _I know…_ " With a sigh, Anna jumped up to sit next to him on the gurney. Their shoulders touched. " _I told Elizabeth that… I thought it would be better if I got to know her a little more, and different from when she's my teacher. And what it would be like… if the three of us would do things together. Like… have dinner?_ "

Radek blinked, and looked at her. " _You invited Elizabeth to dinner with us?_ "

Anna nodded, looking back at him. " _Yes._ " She seemed confused.

" _What did she say?_ "

If it was possible, Anna seemed even more confused. " _She said yes._ "

" _Oh._ " Radek considered that. Maybe he should just have Anna ask Elizabeth to dinner for him all the time. Much easier. Virtually none of the requisite anxiety. Even better, Elizabeth might be more inclined to say yes to Anna. Additional testing was necessary. " _When?_ "

" _Tonight? Will you be able to have dinner tonight?_ "

Radek didn't know, but he was going to try. " _Oh, yes. I will sneak out of here if I have to._ "

Anna giggled. " _We can reschedule._ "

" _No, no._ " Radek smiled at her. " _I could not possibly back out of dinner with the two most beautiful girls on Atlantis, could I?_ "

Anna frowned, but he could tell she was still pleased with his inept compliment. Maybe Radek was getting better at the whole 'dad' thing, whether she called him that or not. Anyway, he certainly hoped so.

* * *

 _A/N: There was a whole thing here about the way Sheppard and Weir treat Radek in this episode. Like, at one point Weir says something like, "If Rodney can't count on you, then who can he count on?" And, man, that's rough. I mean? Hello? Radek is the one that got him into this situation in the first place. Radek is thinking at this precise moment that Rodney can't count on him. Heck, he was probably a medal-winning swimmer in high school and just didn't want to face to the fact that he'd probably killed Rodney._

 _Kidding, just kidding. Radek doesn't swim._

 _Anyway, that was a thread I wanted to follow, but didn't. I started, but boy it got long and I have more important things to do here. I wanted to share it anyway. Someone write an episode tag about it please? Tell me when you do. I'll be waiting._

* * *

 _Next time: An all-new "adventure," featuring everyone trying their best to find some sort of excitement._


	103. In Plain Sight

Reminder:  
"This is spoken English."  
" _This is spoken Czech._ "  
 _This is a thought._

 _A/N: ... You know, I really need to work out my new life schedule with all the stuff going on now. I apologize for the lateness here; I think I may be changing the day I post in the future... but, who knows? Anyway, I hope this is a fun chapter, even if it's probably not been worth the wait. I'll try to do better._

 _Previously: Anna's still determined to find a way to make ZPMs on Atlantis, even though she knows the odds are against her. But at least her working with Rodney (in chapter 83) may have led to something valuable._

* * *

 **Chapter 103. In Plain Sight.**

The mess hall had tall ceilings and bright walls. Windows replaced panels maybe three meters above the floor, ensuring that it was bright during the day and had a beautiful view of the stars at night. It was warm in the summer—warmer than usual, anyway, since the weather around Atlantis rarely changed even a little. Much like everything else around Atlantis.

Anna counted out the months and days and realized that it was basically almost June now, and, as fun as school was here… it was also a lot. She just didn't know how to ask for a little time off for summer. She doubted that any around here were going to be indulging in any mainland beach holidays, but Anna sure would have liked that a lot.

She could suggest a holiday. Surely Elizabeth, even if she was a pale-skinned redhead, would even like the sun a little. On the other hand, Anna wasn't sure Radek really knew what outside was like.

That was severely unfair now. Anna scolded herself for the tired joke of ribbing Radek for his preference for indoors. Especially since he obviously spent much more time outdoors than Anna did now, and was probably outside this moment. The planet he and Major Lorne's team was visiting was mostly an indoor affair from what Anna understood. In fact, it was almost exactly like being in Atlantis.

Maybe they all needed to get out more.

She was in another galaxy. She couldn't think how to get more _out_.

Anna pulled up a map of Atlantis and studied the Central Tower. The lower levels had been given a once over early on by teams, but as soon as it was decided that it was non-essential to the operation of the city, they'd been left alone. Since Anna was granted at least a day or two's reprieve from most school work, thanks to Rodney's current 'gate schedule and the fact it was technically summer, she decided it was as good a time as any to go exploring.

Alone.

She needed to get out more.

Or maybe not alone, since Iskaan might have been coming to Atlantis today with the Athosian traders. He would be leaving again tomorrow for another planet to trade, but one day was better than none. It was why she was in the mess hall. It was the easiest place for Iskaan to find her if he had a few spare hours to kill after loading the Puddle Jumper.

After an hour of waiting, she heard him speaking as he approached. She turned and saw Iskaan coming into the mess hall. With Panin. The last time Anna saw her had been… a while ago. She said hello almost whenever she visited the Athosians, except the one time they decided to go mountain climbing and Anna returned to Atlantis with a sprained ankle.

Iskaan spotted her and waved, pointed her location out to Panin. Panin seemed pleased to see Anna as they approached.

"What are you up to?" Iskaan asked without so much as a hello. He stepped over the bench and sat beside Anna. Panin slid next to Iskaan.

Anna showed Iskaan the tablet. "About to go exploring, I hope."

"Exploring the city?" Panin didn't look convinced. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Maybe a little," Anna admitted. "But it's pretty safe as long as you don't touch anything."

Iskaan considered the map closely as he said, "Jinto got lost discovering the transporters once."

That almost proved Anna's point. "He touched the wall, then."

Panin smirked. "Is the floor alright to touch?"

"I hope so." Anna smiled and glanced down at her map for a moment. Then she glanced back up.

Iskaan and Panin were sitting together, quite close. Their shoulders were almost touching, in fact. Anna supposed she didn't know any better, but it seemed like Panin was hanging off his arm as they walked through the mess hall. Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe she was just nervous about exploring Atlantis.

After all, sometimes the floor wasn't even safe to touch here.

Iskaan was acting strangely distant to her, though, wasn't he? Anna couldn't decide. Maybe they'd always been this way. But they hadn't always been this way. The last time she'd seen him, they shared the most incandescent kiss Anna had ever experienced.

Okay, the _only_ kiss she'd ever experienced.

Was she jealous?

She was jealous. Unbelievable.

"Are we going or what?" Iskaan wondered after apparently getting tired of waiting for Anna to try to figure out what their relationship was. If they had one anymore.

Anna nodded and picked up her tablet as she rose. "Yes. If you want to come."

Iskaan looked at Panin, who shrugged in response to the invitation. "I don't have anything better to do."

That would have to be good enough. Anna figured she wanted to go exploring today for about the same reason. Also, she just knew there had to be a ZPM-making room somewhere around here. Probably wouldn't find it today. But she wasn't going to stop looking until she'd found it.

Or until she ran out of places to look. Whatever came first.

Anna pulled up a copy of the lowest level in Atlantis on her tablet. She turned it so that Iskaan and Panin could see. "This is where we're going. It's the very lowest level of Atlantis."

"Underwater?" Iskaan looked thrilled as he said it. Panin's response was less than thrilled.

Anna nodded with a grin. "Yes."

"What are we looking for?" Panin asked uncertainly.

"I'm not sure. Something amazing." Something that would get Anna into the best good graces she could imagine with Rodney. And everyone else. But anything less, but still amazing, would be okay, too.

Panin frowned. "Not too amazing, I hope."

"Let's go!" Iskaan jumped up from the chair and headed to the nearest transporter.

Anna followed at some distance while Panin lagged even further behind. Anna sighed and turned back to look at her. She knew she had no reason to be jealous. After all… so what if Iskaan and Panin were together. From what Anna understood of Athosians… it seemed like a lot of them were, in one way or at one time or another. It was just something to get used to…

And decide if she wanted to live with.

"We'll be very careful," Anna said to Panin, hanging back to fall in step with her. "I know how to tell whether a room has something big in it to be careful about."

Panin brightened a bit. "You do?"

"For the most part. I can't predict anything for certain, but… well, if you've ever met Doctor Zelenka, you'd know that being very careful is practically in my blood."

Whether she knew Radek or not, Panin found that funny. They joined Iskaan in the transporter and touched the glowing speck for the lowest level in Atlantis…

As usual, the lights turned on for them when they left the transporter. Iskaan immediately headed off down the nearest hallway, and Anna made a notation on her map to mark which hallways they'd explored. There was another map similar to this one, made by Atlantis expedition scientists, with cursory notes made on the contents of each room. Some had a catalog number, to show whether specimens had been collected for further study. Most of the lower rooms appeared empty according to their notes.

The first few rooms Iskaan went in didn't seem to have a very high power capacity, but they were magnificent in their own way. Walls of windows lined one side of the room, giving spectacular views to the abyss outside. He skipped a few rooms ahead while Anna and Panin still stood looking at the ocean.

"Anna?" Panin wondered after a moment of looking at the water.

Anna glanced at her. "Hm?"

"I get the feeling… um… have I said something wrong?" she asked.

Anna didn't realize she was that obvious. "Oh. No. Not really. It's just…" She sighed and decided to be blunt. Athosians seemed to be that way. Even fi Anna was decidedly not. "Are you and Iskaan together?"

"Together?" Panin seemed mystified.

Anna nodded, and looked out the window. Nothing much seemed to be happening here, except for a few fish swimming by periodically. One school of shining green fished seemed to be swimming in circles around the tower. "You know. Like…"

"Together." Panin sighed, shook her head. "Not yet."

"Not yet?" What did that mean? She hoped Panin would just explain, and she wouldn't have to ask.

"I know your people don't do things this way, but…" Panin hesitated a while and then said, "Iskaan and I are sort of what you might call 'together.' But I don't think it's like what you mean when you say 'together.'"

Oh, well, that explained practically nothing. "What?"

Panin giggled and blushed. "You know our people do not have just one… um, what do you call it? A 'mate' or…?"

Anna didn't know what she'd call it, but that seemed as good as anything.

"It's important to us to keep our family lines strong, to be able to survive against the Wraith. And also it's important that no family is destroyed forever. So we have children with one person within our group—as Iskaan and I—and one person from outside our group."

"Oh." That seemed like a recipe for disaster in Anna's mind. But, then, it wasn't as though the Athosians were full of individuals who never got along and couldn't work together. Anna had to remind herself that even many families on Earth weren't that way. "So you and Iskaan are…?"

"It's not by contract, or anything." Panin sighed, and crouched to look out the window from the floor. "It was a silly agreement made between children."

Anna didn't get a chance to respond, because Iskaan came back in. "What are you two doing? There's another room where you can see the underside of the pier." With that, he left.

Anna turned back to Panin. "Maybe he'll come back around?"

Panin smiled. "You don't really hope that."

Any attempts at feigning surprise were immediately squashed. She didn't, but she didn't want anybody to be hurt. Of course, she wasn't sure she believed it was possible for anyone to not be hurt in situations like these.

"I know that Iskaan has been spending much time with you." Panin shrugged. "You're exotic."

"I'm exotic?"

"Being from another planet is nothing, but you're from another galaxy and your people are so very different from ours. And you live on our planet. I can't blame him. I would be attracted, too." Panin stood, looking at Anna sideways. "I guess Iskaan is exotic to you?"

"I don't know if that's how I would put it," Anna mumbled.

"You find him attractive anyway. We have that in common." Panin smiled and stepped closer to Anna, as if that was basis enough for them to be friends. Perhaps even good friends.

Anna was momentarily baffled. Then it occurred to her: this type of jealousy Anna felt might not have been in Panin's situational vocabulary here. Panin wasn't competing—she was never competing. She always thought they could share Iskaan. And she thought that Anna thought the same thing. After all, Panin and Anna were not from the same group at all. Panin was on the inside and Anna was on the outside.

Whether Anna thought they could share or not, she was sure she didn't want to be Panin's enemy. It was much better to be friends.

"I guess we do have that in common," Anna allowed, and they left the room together.

Most of the rooms on the outside ring of the tower consumed very little power, if any. None of the rooms reached the power consumption that any of the higher-level labs did. Anna made notes on her map of what she thought each room was for, and what was inside. Most of the rooms seemed to have nothing at all inside except for windows and benches for looking underwater. She wondered that the Ancients had observation areas for fish, but she supposed they liked to observe wildlife just like anyone else.

One room, though… one room was different. Judging by the rings on the pipes leading into the room, it used up a lot of power. Iskaan had already walked past it, apparently writing it off as another ocean observation room.

"Wait," Anna said, calling him back and looking into the room. "What's in here?"

"I didn't see anything." Iskaan started walking back toward her anyway. The lights in the hallway followed him, turning dim when he was no longer in proximity.

Anna stepped into the dark room and looked around. Like Iskaan said… it was empty. "That's weird…" With a room like this, completely bare, she was no longer mystified that the windows lining the walls looked out to the ocean.

"Weird? What is?" Panin asked, walking into the room after her to look out the window.

Anna joined her at the glass, walking along from pane to pane. The center pane seemed to have some sort of Ancient written on it in raised letters. A word with six letters. Anna recognized most of them from other Ancient notation all over the city, but she didn't remember ever seeing this word before. When Panin touched the raised letters, they glowed like one of the 'gate's control buttons up in the operations room.

"Isn't that interesting?" Iskaan observed, and joined them at the window. "Is that what you meant, Anna? That this was in here?"

"I don't think this is using enough power to account for all that…" Anna mumbled, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before entering the letters into her tablet opened to the Ancient database. She frowned at the result. "It says something like 'look' or 'see.' I guess… maybe it's how the Ancients have plaques?"

Funny thing to have on a plaque, though. What was it saying? _Here's a window. Look through it_.

"There should be something in here, shouldn't there?" Anna asked. Probably more asking the ceiling than anything else.

"What if it's just to see fish…?" Iskaan wondered from the window. Sure enough, a school of shimmering green fish made their way by outside.

Anna shook her head and turned slowly. "There is much more power going into this room than what would just be for a few windows…" As nice as the windows were. She imagined that sometimes the dolphin-like creatures she saw some mornings could be seen down here. She made a mental note to check, and traced her eyes over the ceiling and along each of the paneled walls.

Iskaan looked around, too, as if he might have any idea what she was looking for.

But Anna didn't see anything. It looked like a room of windows on one wall, and three other blank ones. Every other wall panel had a bench, and the panel between the outside two benches on each side had a wall sconce. These didn't seem to be working, though.

Iskaan walked to the empty wall panel in the center. "This is strange."

"I was just thinking that." Anna tugged Panin along with her to Iskaan's side.

It seemed to take Panin a few seconds to catch up with their reasoning, but she said after a moment, "You think there is something hidden here?" She bent to inspect the seam of the floor and the wall, starting in the right side corner.

"If it's a door, it's huge…" Anna mumbled.

"Maybe it's not a door," Iskaan said. "Maybe it's hiding something else."

"What would it be if not a door?"

Anna waved away Iskaan's answer before he could start. "It doesn't matter, whatever it is. What we need first is power. This room eats a lot of it…"

"The lights didn't turn on when we walked in," Panin pointed out from the floor.

Anna glanced at the sconces. "Yes?"

"She's right. All the other lights have," Iskaan said.

Anna tried not to pout. How had she not taken notice of that when they walked in? Too busy looking at the power indicator rings, probably… That was it. But it took her literal months to figure that connection out.

It didn't matter who noticed what first. She guessed she was a little happy that Panin was smart enough to help her out with this mystery. With a heavy sigh, Anna turned back to the ocean. "That means… either power isn't getting to this room… or it's shut off somewhere."

"I don't think you are allowed to redirect power, are you?" Iskaan said.

Anna shook her head a little somberly. "No. I'm not." She thought about that for a moment, while another fish—like a piranha the size of a sun fish—wiggled along outside. It seemed to be watching her with his big, amber eye. Anna spun away from the fish to Iskaan and Panin. "But that doesn't usually matter for the lights. Even in sections where power is diverted away, sections of Atlantis we aren't using, the lights still work. Unless something is malfunctioning…"

"So it's either shut off," Iskaan said, "or broken."

"Or something else may just be drawing power off the lights," Anna added.

"Three options?" Panin said from her seat on the floor against the blank wall, sounding more discouraged as they talked. "How do you know there's even something here, Anna? This room is in the very middle of the lowest floor. Your people would have found something if it were here."

"They wouldn't," Anna said. "They didn't know something was here."

"But neither do we," Panin said.

Anna sighed, and so did Iskaan. Then Panin sighed, too.

"Let's start from the beginning, then." Iskaan went to the doorway, turned around, and looked at them. "What did we see when we first walked in?"

"The ocean," Panin said, sounding bored.

"Okay." Iskaan walked to the windows and looked out at the fish. Then he looked down at the six embossed Ancient letters on the window. "Then you saw these, Anna."

"Yes. But they just say _look_ ," Anna said. She walked over to touch them again, make them shine. " We looked."

"Looked at what?" Iskaan said, and turned around to see the rest of the room.

"I don't know? Outside? The water?" Anna said, and looked at the room behind them. The empty wall was directly across the room from the letters on the window. She looked back at the window.

Iskaan looked back at the letters, too. The runes that must have seemed foreign and magical to him. They were foreign to Anna, but only as magical as they were infuriating. Why would the single inscription on a window out to the ocean have the one instruction that wasn't required to understand a window? It didn't make sense. The Ancients were a bit anal about documenting everything, testing everything, having painstaking instructions for everything… but for windows?

"Does it say anything else?" Iskaan drew his finger over them again, this time from the end of the word to the beginning.

Anna watched, entering the letters into her tablet in reverse order this time, just to see if Iskaan was onto something with the whole _backwards_ angle.

That precise moment, she realized. She was very familiar with these ancient letters. She'd seen them everywhere, but only in a different arrangement.

"It says 'start.'"

"What?"

"Or 'beginning.' Something like that. It's on all the Ancient machines we've found so far, except for the gate," Anna said, touching the second to last letter in the word. "It's an anagram."

"Anagram…?" Iskaan mumbled, watching Anna brush her fingers over each of the letters.

They responded to her touch as they had every time, but this time in a different order than from beginning to end. She touched the last letter, and it seemed like nothing happened. The sconces didn't light and the walls didn't shift.

"Did anything happen?" Iskaan wondered, and turned to look around. Anna was still wondering if she'd spelled the word wrong when Iskaan breathed. "Oh my…"

Anna whipped around. Nothing in the room had changed except the walls. Now, it appeared Panin sat against a glass wall, but these not looking into the ocean. Beyond the glass, another room twice the side of the one they were in held dozens of shining machines and consoles.

And though the window directly behind Panin, a skeleton dressed in ragged Ancient apparel sat alone. Propped up in a chair. As if it had been watching the ocean for the last ten thousand years. Or perhaps it had been watching them.

* * *

 **Czech Things**

Someone. Please. What is the word for anagram in Czech? Google tells me it's "anagram." I looked at a Czech to English dictionary and found "přesmyčka" also. So I assume… it's literally just anagram. But it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure that out. Been too long since I used Google for this kind of thing, let me tell you.

* * *

 _A/N: *facedesk* I did it again. A chapter with only OCs. But, I don't know, the last time this happened was chapter 38, which was a heck of a long time ago. So, could I get a pass on that? Not to mention that if I added a section for Radek here…? It'd be a longer chapter than I want to deal with, anyway._

 _Also. Apparently when I'm stuck for ideas, my brain goes, "Well, how about there was a skeleton? How about that?"_

* * *

Next time: It's not as if your name is unique in all the Earth, either.


	104. Two Faces

_Previously: Adventures be happening. There are skeletons and planets and treasures and stuff. It may have been useful if Anna had been around for_ Before I Sleep _(SGA: 1.15_ ) _. But then again, not really. It's not like she's the only Anna in the universe._

* * *

 **Chapter 104. Two Faces.**

As usual, the society was barely functioning on the oppressive monarchy and tributes paid in wheat and beans. The roofs were thatched and the people were dressed in leathers and abrasive homespun. Even though it didn't appear to have rained recently, the dirt roads were muddy. Radek didn't want to think about the precise mixture of fluids and solids that made up this mixture oozing up the sides of his boots.

Just think about the new city. The other-Atlantis. They'd started calling it "Agartha" at the behest of one of Atlantis's linguists. Radek didn't know what it meant, but it was better than calling it the "other-Atlantis."

Reed chuckled, drawing Radek's eyes off the ground around him. "Just don't think about it, Radar."

Major Lorne scoffed. "What did you just ask him to do? Not think?"

Radek was momentarily gratified—he was very proud of his ability to solve problems. Or at least not stop thinking about his problems…? On second thought, that didn't seem like a quality he wanted to have.

"Just a second," Major Lorne went on. "Hey, Doc. Five-thousand eleven."

As if by reflex, Radek answered, "Prime." Then he paused, Major Lorne going on with his chiding completely oblivious to Radek's eyebrow raised in his direction. Major Lorne… knew five-thousand eleven was a prime? Who was this person and what had he done with Lorne?

That wasn't fair, actually. Radek knew little to nothing about Major Lorne. He just hadn't anticipated this.

"Like asking a fish not to swim, I get it." Reed's response to whatever Major Lorne was saying seemed to make Coughlin laugh, but as soon as McKay and Sheppard approached up the side street they went back to their standard military issue straight-faces.

"Alright," Sheppard said when he stopped in front of Major Lorne's team. "Teyla, Ronon, and I still have some negotiating to do. We've got a few of the research team already set up in quarters in the main floor, but it'll be up to your team to go with McKay and his team down to the lower levels."

"Yes, sir," Major Lorne said.

Radek noticed he didn't look too happy about following McKay into the depths prone to cave-ins. Radek just didn't know if he was more wary about the cave-ins or McKay.

"There are multiple entrances; the way I went through before is, unfortunately, covered in rocks and rubble." McKay sighed, looking over his shoulder toward the forest they'd inevitably be tramping through in only a few minutes. "But given that I was personally able to count no less than sixty-one points of commonality between their city and ours while I was down there… it should be a breeze."

Major Lorne nodded, and announced, "Prime," like that was just something someone said as an agreement in normal conversation. As if _prime_ were a synonym of _sounds good_ or _okay._

"Excuse me?" McKay asked.

Radek raised an eyebrow at Lorne, apparently the only one (besides Lorne, of course) to have caught that sixty-one was, indeed, a prime number. "Who are you?" he asked, half a joke mixed in with his complete bafflement.

Major Lorne offered no response except for a grin and a nod off toward the woods. "Baldric's waiting with the others."

"Right."

As Major Lorne, Coughlin, and Reed walked off toward the woods, he heard Coughlin comment that Baldric was a pretty antsy companion to be leading them off toward the unknown. Might flee at the first sign of a chipmunk. Reed made some sort of jab about how Radek was typically no different, except he handled explosives on a regular basis.

Radek didn't see the point in defending himself, especially since he would never describe himself as _antsy_. Besides, Rodney was talking.

"And I think there is probably a lot of salvageable parts down there," he said.

"Oh, I'm sure," Radek agreed, feeling an old enthusiasm rise up. For some reason, he felt like he did on their first days in Atlantis, exploring the newness and coaxing a functionality out of systems left to languish for thousands of years. "It will be good to have backup crystals where we can."

"Especially since we might be able to modify them now," Rodney agreed. "With that chip room, it seems to have a lot more capability than we originally thought."

Using information from a Jumper's quick sweep of the area, a map of Atlantis, and an educated guess about where a good entrance would be, Major Lorne's team met up with McKay's scientists and found a distant entrance to the sister city that was only covered by a thin layer of dirt and rocks. As Lorne indicated, Baldric was nervous, but they descended into Agartha's dark depths without a problem and lit their flashlights.

The scientists, outnumbering the military in this particular group by a ratio of two to one, were giddy with excitement. Excitement and speculation hurried their steps along strangely familiar corridors. Were there more ZPMs here? Agartha appeared older and more used than Atlantis… perhaps it was a firmly established city once, perhaps it hid even more treasures than Atlantis had.

Atlantis was still showing them treasures they never thought to imagine. This place might show them treasures in duplicate, even if not things completely new and unheard of.

Major Lorne split his team to follow the scientists around as they poked and prodded this ancient and buried piece of architecture. He assigned himself to follow the team including Rodney and Radek, probably to save either Reed or Coughlin the torment of having to deal with McKay all day. The self-sacrificial gesture didn't go unnoticed by his men.

If only Radek could be spared the same irritation… Major Lorne would be his hero.

"Radek." McKay cut into Radek's quick attempt at translation work for a sign next to a sealed door. Rodney stood a short distance down the hallway, his tablet in one hand and wires in the other. "This way. Come on." A short pause and he added, "I don't know why we don't just keep you on Atlantis."

"What about this?" With one hand, Radek pointed to the door in front of him, the tiny plaque next to it. With the other, Radek consulted his tablet for the translation for said plaque. He didn't bother moving.

"Aren't there interesting things behind every door?" Major Lorne wondered nearby. He flicked one of the protruding edges on his gun idly with a self-satisfied grin.

"Exactly! Hear that, Radek? Your leader has spoken," Rodney said.

Radek held up one finger to ask him to wait. He _knew_ this word.

"Come on," Rodney groaned. "We don't have time for you to open every door. The ZPM room is this way. It's possible there might be one there that isn't completely depleted. There's residual power readings down this way and—"

Radek glanced up as he tapped his tablet. "Yes, here, too."

"Yours, too?" Suddenly interested, Rodney walked over to glance at Radek's mystery room and then at his tablet. "You have something? I don't get it, I depleted the ZPM of all power."

"Maybe this particular Ancient city is fitted with… something like batteries. To keep the city from shutting down completely should power be cut off. Or possibly to help with surges…"

Rodney frowned and consulted his tablet. Radek hurried to find the Ancient word he was looking for. He was pretty sure he knew what it was, but… well, it paid to be 100% sure.

"I'm pretty sure Atlantis doesn't have something like that."

"Maybe it's a new feature?" Major Lorne wondered. "I mean, just look at the difference between the '66 and '67 Mustang…"

Rodney paused for a few seconds. Radek wondered if Rodney had even heard Major Lorne, and was only aware on the outside of his knowledge that Major Lorne was talking about a car. Some sort of American car. Radek knew absolutely nothing about…

Then Rodney said, "Yeah. Totally obvious!" sarcastically.

"Yes. Yes, very obvious." Radek glanced up from his hackneyed translation job, unable to help his smile. "The, um… the '67 Mustang, you said?" he asked, putting a little more emphasis than necessary on the number.

Major Lorne looked at Radek sideways, like he wasn't exactly sure about the game they were playing. "Prime," he said.

Rodney took a step back to put the two of them into his vision at the same time. "What the hell are you two doing?"

"Nothing." Radek finally had it; his stalling had paid off. This door. It was like a passageway into his past as much as his future. He flipped the tablet around so Rodney could see the Ancient-to-English dictionary he'd pulled up. "The sign says 'armory.'"

#

Iskaan had wisely pointed out that they probably shouldn't go right into the room with the decayed corpse without it getting cleared by Atlantis's medical team first. Anna had grudgingly agreed, and they went directly to Elizabeth. Elizabeth went to Doctor Becket and Doctor Kusanagi, both of whom gathered large teams to descend upon the lab and go over it with every scanning device they'd created and catalogued.

Mention anything about a skeleton, and the entire expedition comes running. At least, that was how it felt. It took every shred of Anna's willpower to not remind every scientist that came into the room that she was the one who figured out the puzzle and found the secret lab. Iskaan and Panin helped, of course. But she'd found it.

It was very important that they knew, but she also didn't want to say it out loud. Because they all knew.

Iskaan and Panin had to leave before anything exciting happened, though they made Anna promise to tell them all about it when they got back.

Doctor Beckett had been kind enough to set up a transmitter on one of the consoles inside to allow access to any information stored on the computers in there. They were all free-standing, and not at all connected to the Ancient database, which meant that none of it had ever been seen before by Humans. That also meant none of it had been translated.

Anna perused it on her tablet anyway.

"Well, it appears he didn't die of anything contagious," Doctor Beckett said after a good half hour in the lab with the skeleton and his team, the latter of which were dressed from head to toe in environmental suits. "No deadly viruses or bacteria in that lab. At least not that we can detect. I'm going to give Doctor Kusanagi the all clear."

"Fine, thank you, Carson," Elizabeth said with a smile. "Tell me when you know anything more?"

"Aye." Doctor Beckett nodded and looked like he was about to move off to join his team before turning back one last time. "Oh, I do have a guess as to how long he's been there."

"Ten thousand years?" Elizabeth guessed.

"Now how did you know that?" Doctor Beckett joked, and motioned for his team to bring the skeleton, now wrapped in a white sheet, out of the room.

The door to the lab was under one of the sconces, opened when Anna had entered the correct key in the window. When she entered the key again, the wall had returned to its ordinary state. The doctors inside said that they could see out whether the wall looked like a wall or not, like one-way glass. Anna guessed that if she were going to die in a huge city like Atlantis, alone, she'd want to be looking out at the ocean, too.

"Can I go in?" Anna asked as Kusanagi and her team gathered their things.

Elizabeth didn't look convinced. "Best to not be in their way, don't you think?"

"But I discovered it," Anna said, pouting even though she had been trying very hard this whole time not to. Elizabeth smiled patronizingly, and Anna objected again. "I did!"

"I know. But this is their job. We literally pay them for this."

Anna sighed and looked back at her tablet. She was able to search the computers inside for specific words, and found an entire file called "records" or something like that. She was looking at it now, and realized after translating a few of them by hand using the database that many of the words here were personal pronouns. Perhaps their skeleton had left them a letter. A very, very long letter. Like a diary or journal or something.

"I think his name is Janus," Anna said.

Elizabeth looked up at that immediately. "Janus?"

The other scientists seemed interested immediately as well. Anna held up her tablet to show them the author of the notes she was reading. None of it was in English and most certainly none of it was in Czech, but she'd determined that this one had to be a name. And since it was next to the Ancient word for "author," she figured it was as good a guess as any.

"Janus." Anna pointed to the name.

Elizabeth shook her head. "The Elizabeth that went back in time to save this expedition met Janus. She said he went back through the Stargate to Earth…"

Anna frowned, and decided to double check her translation of the word she'd thought meant _author_. "You're not the only Elizabeth in the world." Besides… didn't that make sense? If mythology was more like history, then… "Isn't there a Janus in mythology?"

"Yes," Elizabeth answered absently, maybe following another line of thought.

"What if they're almost the same people? I mean, if the Ancients are like the Romans? Because they're the road-builders, like Doctor Jackson said. Then doesn't Janus have…?" She couldn't say it. It sounded stupid.

Partially because she didn't know anything about Roman mythology. She hadn't really taken to heart the fact that she was supposed to be treating mythology as if it were some perverted version of history.

Elizabeth glanced at Anna. "Janus has two faces."

"That's what I thought."

The other scientists seemed to accept the idea. Because mythology wasn't just a myth anymore. It was like history, but also like hearsay. Stories got blown out of proportion and metaphors saw liberal use.

"He has one face looking forward, and the other looking backward," Anna said.

"But what does this have to do with anything?" Doctor Kusanagi asked.

"Well, this Janus is clearly not the Janus that the Weir from the past knew," Elizabeth said. "But maybe there was another Janus. Two that were, in a way, counterparts of each other."

Doctor Picardo nodded knowingly. "Like Edison and Tesla."

"Hm…" Elizabeth nodded, and Anna had little idea what they were talking about. Edison and Tesla would have both been looking forward, wouldn't they?

It didn't seem to make much a difference.

Elizabeth continued, "The Janus Weir described was a bit of a black sheep among his fellow scientists. He was always making new things, pushing the limits of what the Lanteans considered possible or ethically responsible. He made the time-machine that brought Weir, Sheppard, and Zelenka from that timeframe to the past in order to save us here. Maybe that Janus the forward-facing Janus…"

Somehow it didn't sound stupid when Elizabeth said it.

Wait, a Zelenka from another timeframe went back in time to Atlantis? When Lanteans were living here? Why hadn't she heard about that before?

"So this Janus is looking backwards." Robert looked around the room for a moment, nodding to himself. Then he paused. "What does that mean?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "I think that's for you all to find out."

"And me?" Anna jumped in as Elizabeth was about to leave.

Elizabeth smiled at her, and then looked at Kusanagi. "If you don't get in the way, I don't see why not."

* * *

 _A/N: And, I guess, we're just going to overlook the first time around when Zelenka died in a time-travelling Jumper wreck. Can I say right here and now how miraculous it is that this guy survived the whole show? I'm still a little salty he's not on the balcony, though._

 _Okay, maybe more than a little._

* * *

 _Next time: I don't think she's interested in sharing…_


End file.
